Hey fellow Fanfiction fans. Dorky greetings aside, I'd like to first of all thank you for checking out my profile. YOU ARE AWESOME!!!! I promise to upload chapters as often as possible, but if I start to get a bit slow don't be afraid to give me a good kick in the but. Digitally of course. I don't like getting kicked by random strangers at my own home, or anywhere else for that matter. That is not fun. Not at all. Anywho, feel free to read and review anytime! =)
Here are some facts about yours truly
1. I love animals
2. Anyone who tries to put me down will find themselves six feet under. (pun INTENDED)
3. I LOATHE overly sappy, dramatic love moments. (No I am not a pessimist, I am a realist, there's a difference. Sorta.)
4. I basically run on sugar so... NO TOUCHY ME SWEETS!!!!
5. I luvers comedy/romance. IT IS DA BOMB!!! (But Remember rule #3! REMEMBER THE RULE!!!!)
this ish bunny!!!
15 Things to do when you're in Walmart!
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay-a-way.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look."
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
15.Grab alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.
If you ever killed a joke, copy and paste this onto your profile!
If you thing reading FanFiction stories is one heck of a great time, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever eaten something, and you didn't even know what it was, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever wished that dragons exist in our time, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR:
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
2) STAND silent and motionless in the
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
12) TRY to make personal calls on the
13) DRAW a little square on the floor
14) WHEN there's only one other person
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
16) ASK if you can push the button for
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it
Now for Brookie's Zen of life rules ( and blackcat's too!!)
(no I did not create this, Though I wish I had because this is GENIUS! - Black Cat)
1.Do not walk behind me for i shall not lead. Do not walk ahead of me for i shall not follow. don't walk besides me either. just leave me alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn... so if you're going to steal your neighbor's news paper thats the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced you can't be promoted.
5. Always remember, you're unique... just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares you're alive, try missing a couple car payments.
8.before criticizing someone walk a mile in their shoes. that way when you criticize them you're a mile away, And you have their shoes.
9. If first you don't succeed, sky diving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish he'll eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he'll sit and drink beer all day.
11. if you lend someone a 20 and you never see them again, you probably made a wise investment.
12. Tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. everyone's normal... until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you're not learning much when your lips are moving.
20. Experiece is not something you get untill AFTER you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
22. NEVER, under ANY circumstance, are you to EVER, allowed to take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
You know you live in the 21st century when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or myspace
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did
And now for some FUNNY QUOTES!!! (if you like, copy and paste on YOUR profile. If you don't like, just shut up I don't even care.)
"Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before."--Mae West
"A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."--Herm Albright.
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."--one pissed off fellow
"I stopped fighting my dark side; we're on the same side now."--every teenager in the world
"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance?"--your role model
"The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory."--That smart guy
"I didn't do it." "Then why are you laughing?" "Because whoever did it is a frigging genius!"
"I can only be nice to one person everyday. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good either."--me to my annoying ex
"When life gives you lemons, freak them out and make orange juice and have them wonder how the hell you did it."
"I may look calm, but in my head i've killed you three times."
"I'm sorry problem, is there an officer?"
"Officer, I swear to drunk i'm not god!"
Immature: A word a boring person uses to describe a fun person :P
"SHUT UP!! I'M TRYING TO TELL A STORYY...Anyway..."
"Because I can!" :D
"Haha! Wait, what?"
"Do you think I'm Made Of Money?" "Isn't that what MOM stands for?"
Paraprosdokian: Something or other that comedians use, I wasn't really listening... AND YOU'LL SEE WHY!!!!
"I asked god for a bike, god didn't give me one so I instead stole a bike and asked god for forgiveness."
"Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down a street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they're sexy."
"Going to church doesn't make you a christian like standing in a garage doesn't make you a car."
"Always borrow money from a pessimist; they won't expect to get it back, muchless recieve interest."
"I always thought my goal in life was to have a career, now I realize my goal in life was to recieve paychecks."
"Dolphins are so smart: they've trained humans to stand real close to the water and feed them fish."
"It's funny how my volume of screaming is the same whether I'm being eaten by a shark or some seaweed touched my foot."
"The last thing I want to do is hurt you... but it's still on the list."
"If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong."
"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting a tomato in a fruit salad."
"We really never grow up, we only learn how to act in public."
"To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research."
"How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, yet it takes a whole freakin' box to start a campfire?"
"Some people are like slinkies... not really good for anything yet you still smile when they tumble down stares."
"I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you."
"Why do people believe you when you say there are billions of stars in the universe yet still need to check when you say somethings covered in wet paint?"
"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."
"The voices in my head may not be real but they have some good ideas."
"A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell and make you look forward to the trip."
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
"There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away."
"I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure."
"I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a piece of lime, and a shot of tequila."
"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target."
"Nostalgia isn't what it used to be."
"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."
secret language of girls *
flippy hair = automatically hot
16 ways to maintain a Healthy level of insanity.
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars, see if they slow down.
More Genius, Because We're Worth It!!
4. "Soldier: Sir, We're surrounded!
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