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Poll: Would you rather witness all history of humanity and cease to exist before the end or live your life as is and see the end of humanity? Vote Now!
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Joined 09-07-10, id: 2529753, Profile Updated: 03-21-18
Author has written 1 story for Percy Jackson and the Olympians.

Hippopotomontrosesquippedaliophobia! (Fear of long words...) Pineapple, nutmeg, oddball, snicker, rainbow, doom and sloppy. My English teacher took points off my homework saying 'yummy' wasn't a word. It is so! I looked it up in the dictionary. Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is the greatest word ever. Longest word in the English language that isn't a chemical name.

Since my profile happens to be very long due to my short attention span that causes me to have dozens of stories open at once and just as many profiles from which to gather stuff, if you really don't want to have to read through a bunch of random stuff, but do want to read something, I suggest the Evil Overlord List, which I believe is somewhere near the end, though not all the way down. It's a bit long (and thus hard to miss) but it's really awesome.

If you read this whole profile, I officially dub you "The Person With The Longest Attention Span And The Least Things To Do In Life Ever To Grace The Planet With Their Presence". Seriously, don't bother unless you're in search of profile stuff, in which case I present the Table of Contents to give you an idea of where to look:

I- Personal Info

A- Silly Stuff

II- Random Silly Stuff

III- Collection of Tests

IV- What to do in Walmart

IV.5- What to do During an Exam

IV.7- 100 Stupid Things To Do

V-In Remembrance: Harry Potter

VI- Paste this to your profile if...

VII- Quotes and More

a. Quotes

b. Sayings

c. Ponder This

d. Other

e. When Life Gives You Lemons...

f. This is Dedicated To All Those Awkward Moments...

VIII- Pointless Lists

-You Know You Are Still Living In 2009 When...

-The Six Truths of Life

-9 Things I Hate About Everyone

-Twilight VS Harry Potter

-Chuck Norris Facts: Percabeth Style

-Pick-Up Lines

-Rearrange the Letters

-Calling me fake...


B- Welcome to the Very Serious Part of my Profile

X- Stereotypes

XII- Drunk Driving

XIV- The Story of Kazu

XV- Homophobia

XVII- White Rose

XVIII- How Could You?

XVIII.5- Angels are Friends

XIX- Love Me

XX- Girls

XXI- Love

XXI.5- Harry Potter

C- Sarcasm and Laughs

XXII- Important Things My Mother Taught Me

XXIII- Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible: Packing Labels

XXIV- How To Annoy Your Parents

XXV- Harry Potter Houses

XXVI- In Rememberance: HP/PJatO/TKC

XXVII-Normal People VS PJO Fans

XXVIII- Some Neville Love

XXIX- What I'll Do When I'm An Evil Overloard

XXX- You Know You’re Obsessed With Percy Jackson When…

XXXI- You Know You're a Book Addict If...

XXXI.5- You know you're Obsessed with Maximum Ride if...

XXXI.7- Everything I know I've learned from CLAMP

XXXII-How To Be Really Annoying

XXXII.5- Sarcasm


XXXIV- Survival Kit

XXXIV.V- Did you know?

XXXV- English Pronunciation

XXXVI- PJO Acronym

XXXVII- Harry Potter Rules

XXXVII.5- Song Lyrics

-Beauty and the Beast

-Aladdin: A Whole New World

-Tangled: When Will My Life Begin?

-Tangled: I See The Light

-Mulan: I'll Make a Man Out of You

-Mulan: Reflection

-Hercules: I Won't Say (I'm In Love)

-Pocahontas: Colors of the Wind

-Little Wonders by Rob Thomas

-Can You Feel The Love Tonight - Lion King Version

-Can You Feel The Love Tonight by Elton John

XXXVII.7- If We Must Die

XXXVIII- Stories/Favorite Stories/ Authors/ Communities


You know your a geek when procrastination doesn't affect your grades.

(\ _ /)
(O.o )

This is Bunny.
Copy Bunny into your profile to help him on his way to world domination
As soon as Bunny has fulfilled his duty, Bob (the evil sorcerer) will take over the rule.

(Put this on your page if you like music)

Put this in your profile
if you love to laugh!

////\\\\ GO NINJAS!!! Post
this on your profile
\\\\//// page if you are a ninja!

The Stairs
Tripped UP
Page if
Put This

••) .•).•.•) .•)
(.• (.• Pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.

My name is Thoughtkid.

I'm a girl.

My Favorite Books: No order

1. Maximum Ride

2. Harry Potter

3. Percy Jackson and the Olympians

4. Hunger Games

5. Inkheart Trilogy

6. Ender's Game Series

7. Kane Chronicles

8. The Snow Spider Trilogy

9. A Tale of Time City

10. Power of Three

11. Lord of the Rings

12. Swallows and Amazons

One of the main reasons I made this account is to try to create a Very Long profile. Did I succeed? Who knows. ... Well I know because I can see it, but... Yes I know I know, but do they know? Well obviously, they can see it too. But who is they? Now that is something I don't and probably won't know. Oh well...

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

Paste this in your profile if you know someone who is fighting, survived, or who died of cancer.

Paste this in your profile if you know someone who is fighting, survived, or who died of a heart attack or heart disease.

If you support Werewolf rights, then copy and paste this to your profile.

Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dyslexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.


I got this from flyaway111, who got it from St. Fang of Boredom, who got it from Randomitis Sufferer, who got it from BellaRide28. This is so true:
One of my best friends died recently; I'm really upset. He was such a great guy and I miss him. Maybe you knew of him. Most people did. I hope it wasn't you who contributed to his death, otherwise I shall dispatch a vicious band of lions to disembowel you. Okay, I don't have a troupe of lions at my disposal, but I can find one, trust me. My friend was a paragon of amazing. His name was Common Sense. I am sorry to inform you of his demise. Mourn with me

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.


Name: Thoughtkid
Eye Color: Blue-Green
Hair Color: Brown
Righty or Lefty: Righty

Your heritage: American
Your fears: Growing Up, People, Large Crawling Insects

Your perfect pizza: Cookie Pizza with lots of candy on it
Goal you'd like to achieve: I want to build myself a huge house in the middle of a forest, somewhere where it snows and have each room be a different period in history.

Your thoughts first waking up: Idon'twanna...
Your best physical feature: I'm actually really average looking. Not bad, not particularly good. I like my nose.
Your bedtime: Midnight, when I have to wake up at six for school. Otherwise, three.
Your most missed memory: Early childhood Christmas

Pepsi or Coke: Coke!
McDonald's or Burger King: Yuck. Burger King, they don't put pickles on the cheeseburgers.
Single or group dates: Single.
Adidas or Nike: What
Lipton Tea or Nestea: Tea is disgusting.
Chocolate or vanilla: CHOCOLATE!!!
Cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino.

Smoke: Never.
Cuss: No.
Take a shower: Frequently.
Have a crush: Nope
Think you've been in love: I don't believe in love.
Like(d) school: I like school, when it's not completely and utterly boring. School's too easy and thus, pointless.
Want to get married: Not really. Maybe. Probably not.
Believe in yourself: I believe I know what I can and cannot do.
Think you're a health freak: Yup.

Gone to the mall: No.
Been on stage: Yeah, dance show.
Eaten Sushi: Not this month, no.
Been dumped: Nuh-uh.
Gone skating: *shakes head*
Dyed your hair: Yes, but not with real hair dye.
Done any psychedelic drugs: God no!

Played a stripping game: Nope.
Gotten beaten up: Ix-nay.
Changed who you were to fit in: Why would I want to fit in?

Age your hoping to be married: Never
Are you hoping to have kids: Definitely not.
How old do you wish to live to? Until I die

Best eye color: I love black or dark brown. Blue and green are also cool.
Best hair color: Blond or Black.
Short or long hair: Depends on the person.

1 MINUTE AGO: Thinking of ways to write "no".
1 HOUR AGO: Reading people's profiles.
1 WEEK AGO:Reading fanfiction.
1 YEAR AGO: Pondering life.

I LOVE: Nothing.
I FEEL: Fine.
I HATE: I cannot truly hate. I've tried.
I HIDE: Thoughts.
I MISS: Being a child.
I NEED: Proof.

Got a problem with me? Solve it.
Think I'm trippin'? Tie my shoes.
Can't stand me? Sit down.
Can't face me? Turn around.
Hate my page? Get off it.

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.

If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.

If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.

If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.

If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Sugar is sweet,

And so are you,

But the roses are wilting,

The violets are dead,

The sugar bowl's empty,

And so is your head.

This is this cat.

This is is cat.

This is how cat.

This is to cat.

This is keep cat.

This is a cat.

This is dumbass cat.

This is busy cat.

This is for cat.

This is forty cat.

This is seconds cat.

. . . Now go read the third word in each line :D

Love is patient

Love is Kind

Love is slowly losing your mind

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you start dancing in Wal-Mart to its cheesy music. Crazy is when you laugh uncontrollably at your own jokes. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favourite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" Crazy is when you have a thumb war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favourite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you laugh when nothing's funny. Crazy is when you crack up if someone says "Oatmeal!" Crazy is when you forget what you're saying in the middle of a sentence. Crazy is when you take the time to write down stuff like this and memorize it. Crazy is when you memorized every single line of the Harry Potter series. Crazy is when you’re so obsessed with CSI that you bang on the T.V. every now and then to see if Grissom will come out . Crazy is when you’re going through this as a checklist. Crazy is when you quote Charlie the Unicorn at random moments. Crazy is when you eat twenty pixie sticks in one day. Crazy is when you’re crazy. Crazy is when start talking nonsense everyday during gym. Crazy is when you convince your friends your 'high' because you can't stop laughing even when nothing is funny. And then all of you convince the nearest adult that you're having a breakdown. Crazy is when you trip up the stairs, and laugh all the way back down them. When you go to look at cats and can't stop. Crazy is when your binder of Spanish vocabulary words gets so big and thick that you title it Harry Potter and the Spanish Vocabulary. Crazy is when you doze off playing your virtual iPod in your head and are snapped out of it when I friend asks you why your wiggling to what seems like a beat. Crazy is when you stand on the street corner dressed in snazzy costumes and sing the Lollipop song at the top of your lungs while waving at random cars as they drive by. Crazy is when you fall out of bed and then ask the floor if it's ok. Crazy is when you go on a sugar high when you haven't eaten anything sugary all day. Crazy is when someone knocks you flat on your back and you’re the one who gets up laughing. Crazy is when you draw shoes on your revision paper when you're supposed to be revising. Crazy is when you scream when the toaster pops after watching something kind of scary. Crazy is when you watch a movie or read a book and you start being the characters in the book along with being yourself! Crazy is when you force yourself to become slap happy to lessen a blow. Crazy is when you change the lyrics to 'Frosty the Snowman' and walk around the playground singing 'Frosty the Snow Pile!' Crazy is when someone says “You’re crazy!” and you grin in a maniac way, start rocking back and forth in your chair and answer “You’ve just realised?!” Crazy is when you dance in front of the whole school with a book on your head just to see if anyone will comment. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

10 Commandments of a Teenager
1)Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave'm in the middle)

Rejected Harry Potter Book Titles

Harry Potter and the Time They Just Sat There For 300 Pages

Harry Potter Releases His Debut Album: I WILL Survive!

Harry Potter and the Never Ending Story

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Scone

Harry Potter and the Quest for the Holy Grail

Harry Potter and the Widely Speculated Yet Not Touched Upon Future Book Titles

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Alcatraz

Harry Potter and the Stoned Philosopher

Harry Potter and Secrets of the Bed Chamber

Harry Potter and the Record of Most Bails out of Azkaban

Harry Potter and Too Many Goblets of Firewhisky

Harry Potter Ordering Around the Phoenix

Harry Potter and the 3/4 Blood Prince

Harry Potter and the Harry Potter Movies -Major Plot Points Excluded

Harry Potter and the Highly Unnecessary Yet Mildly Amusing Rejected Title


You talk to yourself a lot.

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself.

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else.

After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Hot damn! THIS COOKIE IS AN EVIL GENIUS!"

You live off of sugar and caffeine.

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense and in Shakesperine where you add ith on the end of words.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason.

Your friends stopped looking at you funny when you laugh for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)

This is awesome, even though millions of people have already seen it:

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile


37 Secrets About Yourself.
Be honest no matter what.

1) have you ever been asked out?

2) where did you get your default picture?
Google is a wonderful thing.

3) what's your middle name?

4) your current relationship status?
Single, long term

5) does your crush like you back?
Haven't had a crush since the foutrh grade.

6) what is your current mood?

7) what color of underwear are you wearing?

8) what color shirt are you wearing?

9) Missing something?

10) if you could go back in time and change something, what would you change?
What makes you think I didn't go back in time and change something? Maybe by this time the world would have exploded if I hadn't.

11) if you must be an animal for one day, what?

12) ever had a near death experience?
phisically, no

13) something you do a lot?

14) the song stuck in your head?
21 guns by Green Day

15) who did you copy and paste this from?
Writer of Time

16) name someone with the same birthday as YOU?
my cousin

17) when was the last time you cried?
When I fractured my foot.

18) have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
yes, in chorus

9) if you could have one super power what would it be?
travel through time

20) what's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

21) what do you usually order from starbucks?
there are no starbucks here

22) what's your biggest secret?
I can't tell you 'cause then it wouldn't be a secret and I would be lying.

23) favorite color?

24) do you still watch kiddie shows?
no television at my house

25) what are you?

26) do you speak any other language?
spanish, some polish and some greek

27) what's your favorite smell?
baking cookies

28) Describe your life in one word what would it be?

fantastic (as in fantasy, not wonderful, though its not horrible)

29) have you ever kissed in the rain?

30) what are you thinking about right now?

31) what should you be doing?

32) who was the last person that made you upset/angry?

my best friend

33) do you like working in the yard?
not really...

34) if you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
i like my name, thank you very much

35) do you act differently around the person you like ?
no, should I?

36) what is your natural hair color?
light brown with blondish highlights

37) who was the last person to make you cry?
My old babysitter's husband, when he died. Updated: My old babysitter, when she died.

This is a quiz.

Whats the last book you read? Umm... I'm currently reading "Fang" and just finished "Max".

What's on your TV right now? How should I know?

Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say? I told my mom that "Yes, I am eating a spaghetti sandwich."

Where are you? In my bed, right next to my pillow.

What was the last thing you ate? A spaghetti sandwich.

What's your personality like? I'm kind of silly, unobservant and mean, but I do have some feelings, I just don't like to show them. I hate crying and needing help. I think of myself as better than most other people and I don't believe in love.

What was the last thing you thought? I don't really know how to translate my thoughts into words.

What was the last thing you dreamed and when? Last nights I think I dreamed an email I sent to my friend, but I don't actually remember. It's one of those things where I don't know whether it's a memory or a dream.

You now have a million dollars. What do you do? Invest it, save it, eventually build my house. Also, but a ton of chocolate.

Reach out and grab the closest thing to you. What is it? My lamp.

What are you eating/drinking right now? Saliva. I'm in my room, on my bed and not hungry. I'm not eating.

What are you writing RIGHT NOW? I have only one story and I'll soon be writing my math exam answers.

Grab the nearest book to you, turn to page 19 and find the second paragraph. What is it?"Yes, she will," Angel said calmly. How badly was I -From "Fang", Book 6 of the Maximum Ride Series.

What's it like being you? Hilarious, quiet and somewhat annoyed. Easy.

What are your thoughts on writing? It's fun on occasion, but I can't do it when told to, it has to be when I feel like it.

How tall are you? 5' 5.5"

What book are you currently reading? Fang, Dealing With Dragons, Doomsday book, Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children, Brave New World, Gregor the Overlander, Catching Fire. Yeah, I'm not good at sticking to one book at a time. I'm also reading Antigone, for school.

Well, what do you like reading? Fantasy, Sci-Fi, History. Preferably with a happy ending. The Hunger Games, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Maximum Ride, A Little Princess, Napoleon and the Napoleonic Wars, Inkheart, and many many other things I can't think of at the moment.

What music are you listening to? The sweet sound of silence. Literally silence. Not some song called "The sweet sound of silence".

What was the last website you visited before fan fiction? My email. Or possibly Facebook. But only for a moment, before delving into the world of Fanfiction.

What was the last thing you cooked? I made cookies a couple days ago. I was trying to make cookies as big as te ones they had at summer camp, and I almost did it, but not quite.

What color are the walls of the room you are in? White. Creative, no?

Do you know who the governor of your state is? Nope. I don't live in a state.

Ketchup or Mustard? Ketchup. I've always hated mustard.

How many different programs are on your computer right now? Hardly any, I just got this lovely new laptop.

What is the weather like? Bright and sunny with a 97% chance of rain, as always.

Are you going on vacation this summer and where? I'm going to summer camp to learn Psychology. It will be awesome.

Anything else? I'm me. Couldn't ask for anything better.

What's your favourite article of clothing? Shoes. I love shoes. Particularly boots.

Who is the most special person to you? Myself. I don't actually have a best friend or crush and 'm not incredibly close to my parents. I get along great with one brother and okay with the other, but have no actual love for any human on this Earth.

What's your favorite childhood memory? Since I can technically still be counted as a child, my favorite memory at the moment is the days befoore my dance show, when we were all dancing eight hours a day. It was fantastic.

Scariest moment of your life? I've never been rationally scared, but this one time when me and my family went hiking in these caves, we got to the edge, like a hundred feet above the ocean and I was sitting on the rocks looking down into a huge whirlpool and I was actually scared. Not that I fell and died, of course.

One word that would best describe you? Me. There isn't a good word that describes all of who I am.

What is your favorite month in the summer? February. It's cold and pretty.

What's your favorite number? 8.

What does your name mean? It's the name of the welsh Goddess of the Moon, Stealer of Souls and Fairy Queen. Not bad.

What does your user name mean: Sun is the name of the star that the Earth (that's the planet I live on) orbits. Moon is the name of the piece of rock that orbits the Earth. Sea is the name of the great bodies of water on the Earth. Sky is the name of the layer of gases around the Earth.

What is your favorite Disney movie? Tangled, The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Mulan, Pocahontas, etc. All of them.

What made you smile today? This Fanfiction I read that was really hilarious.

Last rainbow you saw? A really long time ago.

Do you want a hair cut? Sometimes, when it gets annoying. But then I don't bother and just leave it.

Are you musically inclined? I love music. I can't play it, but I used to sing.

Have you ever been in a fight? I fake fought my Theater teacher, when we were doing sword fighting. And I have fought my brother. Got bruises from it.

Anything else interesting happen to you in your life? Why do you care?

What is your favorite outfit? My blue and pink outfit. I know what I'm talking about.

If you could choose the dumbest thing you've ever said, what would it be? I've said many dumb things. It's why I've chosen to become a mute. Almost.

A big secret you'd like to share with the world? If I shared it with the world, it would no longer be a secret. But I haven't really got any big important secrets.

One Hundred Questions:

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT? My knee. I fell off my bike and into a bush.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? Two picture frames, one with a painting the other with a photo, a ceramic unicorn, a non-working clock, posters of battleship, rocket launch, volcano, wolf, ballet dancer, monster (not all together), stickers, paint, dist, spiders.

3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP? I've been told that I sit up, open my eyes and talk in my sleep.



6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW? To not have to go to school,


8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)? My key chains and rocks. And shoes. And books.

9. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 0.0016764 km

10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC? Only when I feel like I should. Otherwise I'm fine. I do love having space, though.

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK? I love the dark.

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY? My old babysitter, when she died.


14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX? Blond hair, blue eyes or black hair and green eyes. But really dark hair and eyes look awesome, too.

15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO? I'll never get married, making this question pointless.

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK? Neither. Coffe beans covered in chocolate taste good though.

17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING? I like shrimp. And meatball. I've yet to try octopus, but they sell it at the local pizza place, so I should do that sometime.

18. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE? I'd rather not eat right now, bbut probably a really rich chocolate peanut butter browie fudge cake with lots of chocolate ice cream.

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED? Ummm... Meaningful in what way? I got a laptop for my most recent birthday, even though I broke my previous laptop by dropping it. That was fairly meaningful.

22. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY? Nope. Not since I was nine.

23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED? No, but that would be so cool.

24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND? Anything that works.

26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW? I have a horse. My family in general has a cat and three dogs. We used to have four cats, but one died from a disease, another was killed by the dogs and the last just disappeared.

27. WHAT KIND IS IT? Mixed not much.





32. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL MOST OFTEN? My mom, to ask who is picking us up from school.

33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST? My brother. And math.

34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA? I've been to Spain, Germany, Ireland and Poland.

35. YOUR WEAKNESSES? I love sugar.

36. MET ANYONE FAMOUS? I've met a couple astronauts.

37. FIRST JOB? None so far.

38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL? Nope. Always wanted to.



42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST? I tend to be antisocial, but usually my eyes.

43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? Got them now. So annoying.

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? My birthday was really recently, I haven't thought that far in advance. Oh wait, yes i have. I want a car.


46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? A Welsh Fairy Goddess of Horses, the Moon and the Stealer of Souls.

47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? Sometimes.

49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE? Whatever my dad buys.

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? It's somewhat cool, but no one else can read it, it's too loopy.


52. ANY BAD HABITS? Scratching, picking at cuts, playing with nails, etc. These are better than the ones i used o have (biting nails, chewing on hair) but I've got to do something, or I'll go insane.

53 WHAT CD ARE YOU MOST EMBARRASSED TO HAVE ON YOUR SHELF? Embarrassed? About music? And who has CDs anymore?

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Probably not, I don't think I'm very nice or easy to get along with.

56. DO LOOKS MATTER? Not if you live in a fairy tale.

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER? Glare and threaten. Sometimes just push back into head and ignore.


60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? Teddy Bears and cars.


63. DO YOU USE SARCASM? No! I have never once used sarcasm in my whole, entire, freaking life! Nope, never.

64. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE? Macaroni and cheese with mashed potatoes on the side.



67. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE BAND/SINGER? I pay no attention to bands. Songs, it's all about the songs.

68. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?I don't have television, so I don't know.

69. WHAT WAS YOUR ACT SAT SCORE? When I was in seventh grade I got 1680. I haven't taken it since then.




73. DID YOU NOTICE THAT THERE WAS NO #64? There were no a lot of numbers.


75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS? Sure, why not. It's a good thing to do when you want to avoid actual working.

76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO? Coquies outside my window.





81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE? Collars of shirts that aren't neat.




86. EYE COLOR? Green.

89. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT? Church's Chicken. They have biscuits.






95. KISSES OR HUGS? Neither. Respect the bubble.

96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? Relationships. But neither is better.

97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? A bottle of water.

98. WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU HAVE? I don't have one. One day, I hope to have a flying car.




Try it without looking at answers

1) Pick your favorite number between 1-9

2) Multiply by 3 then

3) Add 3, then again Multiply by 3 (I'll wait while you get the calculator...)

4) You'll get a 2 or 3 digit number….

5) Add the digits together

Now with that number see who your ROLE MODEL
is from the list below :

1. Einstein

2. Nelson Mandela

3. Amelia Earheart

4. Artemis

5. Bill Gates

6. Gandhi

7. Brad Pitt

8. Hitler


10. Barack Obama

I know...I just have that effect on day you too can be like me... :) Believe it!

PS. Stop picking different numbers. I AM YOUR IDOL, JUST DEAL WITH IT!!

Now copy and paste this into your profile, and change your name in #9


[1] I need to tell you a secret LOOK AT 5
[2] The answer is LOOK AT 11
[3] Dont get mad LOOK AT 15
[4] Calm down don't be mad LOOK AT 13
[5] First LOOK AT 2
[6] Dont be that angry LOOK AT 12
[7] I just wanna say hi!
[8] What I wanted to tell you is...THE ANSWER IS ON 14
[9] Be patient LOOK AT 4
[10] This is the last time I'm going to do this LOOK AT 7
[11] I hope you're not mad when I say this LOOK AT 6
[12] Sorry LOOK AT 8
[13] Don't be getting a hype LOOK AT 10
[14] I dont know how to say this LOOK AT 3
[15] You must be really mad LOOK AT NUMBER 9

1. Opening Credits: 4 In The Morning- Gwen Stefani
2. Finding Out My Destiny: Brink of Disaster- Mae
3. Writing: My Sacrifice- Creed
4. Changing and Imagining: The Metro- Berlin
5. Tyrainnus: Summertime- Mae
6. Years Go By And The Story Continues...:Everywhere- Fleetwood Mac
7. Before Publishing: Lo Siento- Belinda
8. Falling in Love: Tomorrow- Avril Lavigne
9. Fighting: Goodnight and Go- Imogen Heap
10. Separated: Fairytale- Enya
11. The Letter: My Prerogative- Britney Spears
12. Back Together: Misfit Kid- The Cars
13. Wedding:Comatose- Skillet
14. The End Is Near...: Longer- Caleb Kane
15. Ending Credits: DJ Got Us Falling In Love- Usher

The Real RULES:

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
4. Have fun!

We Are The Champions


Seven Wonders- Fleetwood Mac (So I'm Wonderful?)


Womanizer-Britney Spears (Okay, maybe in Opposite Land)


Breakaway- Gypsy And The Cat


What Makes You Think You're The One?- Fleetwood Mac


Bring Me To Life- Evanescence


In The Shadows- The Rasmus (Er, somewhat true, but I wouldn't put it that way.)


Mockingbird- Rob Thomas

WHAT IS 2 2?

Best Friend- Toybox (Er, my best friend is great at math.)


Kill The Rock- Mindless Self Indulgence


Ojos Asi- Shakira


Bleeding Love- Leona Lewis


Running To You- he Cars (Well, usually it's running away from you)


My Favorite Dream- Mae


Boulevard of Broken Dreams- Green Day


World Turning- Fleetwood Mac (Well, I do want to change the world)


Twisted- Joni Mitchell (Er, what?)


Bridge Over Troubled Water- Simon & Garfunkel


I Write Sins Not Tragedies- Panic! At The Disco


Sic Semper Tyrannis- Mae


Raised on Robbery-Joni Mitchell


We Are The Champions- Queen

Another quiz:

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex. Percy Jackson.
2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow? Blue.
3. Your first initial? R
4. Your month of birth? February.
5. Which color do you like more, black or white? White.
6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours. Muffin.
7. Your favorite number? 8.
8. Do you like California or Florida more? California.
9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more? Ocean.
10. Write down a wish (a realistic one). To become a millionaire (hey, it could happen)
Are you done? Yes.
If so, scroll down. Okay.
(don't cheat--) Does it look like I'm cheating? Don't answer that.

1. You are completely in love with this person. Not really.
2. If you choose:
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you
love. I wish.
Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are
3. If your initial is:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to
blossom. Yay!!!!!!!!!
S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
4. If you were born in:
Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you
fall in love with someone totally unexpected. Hmm... Could be interesting.
Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but
the memories will last forever.
July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life
changing experience for the good.
Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soulmate.
5. If you choose...
Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time
but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do
anything for you, but you may not realize it. I don't think so...
6. This person is your best friend. How'd you know?
7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime. Good, I haven't got many...
8. If you choose...
California: You like adventure. Yes!
Florida: You are a laidback person.
9. If you choose...
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people. This test is turning out rather well don't you think?
10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday. Hmm...


1. Grab the nearest book to you and open up to page 81 line 4.

the snow on top of the hedge. (very dramatic)

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch?

umm... the wall.

3.What is the last thing you watched on TV?

The Losers (well I watched it on a tv, though it wasn't "on tv")

4. Without looking guess what time it is?


5. What time is it:

8:43 (so close)

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

My brothers being sent to bed.

7. When was the last time you stepped outside, what were you doing?

Yesterday night, getting groceries out of the car.

8. Before you started this what did you look at?

Windows Media Player

9. What are you wearing?

Green T-Shirt and white shorts.

10. Did you dream last night?

Yes, but I can't remember of what.

11. When did you last laugh?

Five min. ago, while reading a fanfic story.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

Pictures, shelves, paint, crayon, spider, glow stars.

13. Seen anything weird lately?

A "ROAD CLOSED" sign in the middle of a lava flow over the road. I think it ties with a toilet in a wheelbarrow sitting outside the kindergarten classroom.

14. What do you think of this quiz?

It's interesting.

15. What is the last film you've saw?

The Losers

16. If you became a multi-millionare over night what would you buy?

A whole lot of unnecesary electronic gadgets, a huge bookstore, and I'd invest a whole lot in medical science, against child abuse and for world peace.

17. If your first child is a girl what would you name it?

Diana, its a beautiful name, and the goddess of the moon, just as my name is.

18. If your first child is a boy what would you name it?

Nico? I never really thought about it.

Other Names:

1.YOUR REAL NAME: Rhiannon

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME (first 3 letters of real name plus -izzle): Rhi-izzle (hahahahahahahahahahahahaha)

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME (fave color and fave animal):Black wolf

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME (middle name, and current street name): Zoe Flores (huh)

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of your mom's maiden name): Nolrhell (Now that's strange)

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Silver Milkshake (Whaaaaaaaaaaat?)

7. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME (mother’s middle name): Suzannah (:D)

8. YOUR GOTH NAME (black, and the name of one your pets): Black Shadow (Nice)

9. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maidenname, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name):Hlzorta

Yet another quiz thingy:

Name your top 10 favorite PJO characters in no particular order:

1. Nico

2. Thalia

3. Hades

4. Annabeth

5. Travis

6. Connor

7. Athena

8. Zeus

9. Bessie (the Ophiotaurus)

10. Random Party Pony

1. Have you ever read a one/four romance?Would you?

NicoXAnnabeth? No and NO WAY!!! I'm sure they exist, but... PercyXAnnabeth and NicoXThalia rule the universe.

2. What would be your reaction if six wanted to go out with ten?

Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Connor wants to go out with a party pony? Hahahaha...

3. What would be the title for an eight/Three fic?

Zeus and Hades? Common Household War.

4. What genre would you pick for a fic involving two,five, and nine?

Thalia, Travis and Bessie huh... Adventure.

5. If seven played a sport, what would it be?

Athena. Whose brain explodes from information overload last. She'd win. Always. Her brain would never explode.

6. Where would two and four go if they were dating?

Thalia and Annabeth dating? They'd go shopping in Greece, 'cause I say so. But did the man with the say-so say so?

7.Do you or anyone you know think six is hot?

Connor Stoll? Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8.Would you read an eight/five fic?

ZeusXTravis? Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

9. What would be the warning on a ten/seven fic?

ZeusXRandomPartyPony. Warning: Extremely queer and nonsensical.

10. Four is in a happy relationship with Nine, until nine runs off to marry five. Four is in a brief, unhappy relationship with Eight until Eight cheats on four with Two. Four finally takes the advice of one and settles into a happy relationship with three.

Annabeth is in a happy relationship with Bessie (huh?), until Bessie runs off to marry Travis (A cow/fish can NOT marry a demigod). Annabeth is in a brief, unhappy relationship with Zeus (Eww!!!) until Zeus cheats on Annabeth with Thalia. (Are you kidding me? His own daughter? Jeez!) Annabeth finally takes the advice of Nico and settles into a happy relationship with Hades (WTF?). My comment: WHAT THE F*?

1. Luna

2. James Sirius

3. Dumbly

4. Paddy

5. Lily

6. Nev

7. Tommy Boy

8. Sev

9. Moony


11. Gred

12. Forge

01.) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before? Nev/Gred? Nope.

02.) Do you think Four is hot? How hot? Padfoot. Totally!!!!

03.) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant? Forge getting Sev pregnant. Mental shiver. That's scary.

04.) Do you recall any fics about Nine? Can you recommend any? Yes! Yes! Yes! I can't think of any right now, but there are some great ones!!!!

05.) Would Two and Six make a good couple? James II/Neville... No

06.) Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Lily/Moony or Lily/Prongs? Lily/Prongsy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

07.) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex? If Tom Riddle walked in on James II and Georgie having sex, he would take the time to be thoroughly disturbed before he killed them for being blood traitors.

08.) Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fanfic. Albie/Jamsie: Dumbles, Prongs, Invisibility cloaks, Lemon Sherbets and Purple Seahorses come together for an epic tale you won't soon forget.

09.) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff fanfic? Luna/Sev. I certainly hope not.

10.) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic. Tom/George: Eeeeek! Well, I suppose 'Uncomfortable Situations springs to mind.

11.) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One? Sirius becomes evil from his time and must rape Luna to redeem himself.

12.) Does anyone on your friends list read Seven slash? Tommy Slash. Not that I know of.

13.) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het? Albie het. Maybe.

14.) Does anyone on your friends list, write, or draw Eleven? Fred. Yup.

15.) Would anyone you know write Two/Four/Five? Prongs-V3/Paddy/Lily Nope.

16.) What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion? Prongs would scream 'Ahhhhhhhhhhh!'

17.) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose? Some think about being a git.

18.) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be? Warning: Probable Explosions

19.) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two? Not gonna answer this one. Granddaddy can't use pick-up lines on his Grandson.

20.) When was the last time you read a fic about Five? Yesterday

21.) What is Six's super-secret kink? Dunno

22.) Would Eleven shag Nine? Drunk or sober? Drunk. Very Drunk.

23.) If Three and Seven got together, who would top? Between Albie and Tommy, Voldy I think.

24.) "One and Nine are in a happy relationship until Nine suddenly runs off with Four. One, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Three." What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.

Luna and Moony are in a happy relationship until Moony suddenly runs off with Padfoot (YES!!!!). Luna, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Fred and a brief unhappy affair with George, then follows the wise advice of Lily and finds true love with Dumbles. I'mm call it 'Accidental Perfection at the Expense of the Wizarding World'.

25.) How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon? Tom/Sev... Worried for JK's sanity.

Surprise! More Quizzes!



Fred and George

Character, Overall?

Luna or Charlie

Female character


Male Charcter?

Sirius Black

Group Of Characters?



Prof. Flitwick


Lupin or Flitwick






Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans



Weasley Twin?



Dunno, they're all pretty awesome.


Weasleys Wizard Wheezes!!!! Honeydukes!!! Zonko's!!!

Least Favorites



Character, Overall?



Umbitch, I mean Umbridge




Pettigrew and Umbridge


Creevey. So annoying.




Order of Phoenix




Cockroach Clusters

Death Eater?



Borgin and Burkes


The Lake where Dumbledore and Harry find the locket


Umbridge and Lockhart

This Or That?

Harry or Ron?

Deh Chosen One. Ron is an idiot.

Hermione or Ginny?


Neville or Seamus?

Nev. So much cooler.

Snape or Slughorn?

Snape. He's a git, but Slughorn is worse.

Fred or George?


Harry/Ginny or Harry/Hermione?

Barny Weasley/Gin-Gin!!

Ron/Hermione or Harry/Hermione?

Ronny/Hermione. They're meant to be.

Harry/Hermione or Harry/Luna?

Potter for President/Luna, she's more awesome.

Ron/Hermione or Ron/Luna?

Ickle Ronniekins/Hermy

Hermione/Krum or Harry/Hermione?

Hermy-Own-Ninny/Krumster. Harry's taken.

Ron/Lavander or Ron/Hermione?

'Mione/Weasley King

ButterBeer or Fire Whiskey?

Fine Whiskey.

Hog’s Head Or The Three Broomsticks?

The Three Broomsticks.

James/Lily or Snape/Lily?

Jamsie/Lils! No competition!

Hogwarts or Hogsmeade?

Big school on a rock.

Hogsmeade Or Diagon Alley?

Diagon Alley, way more cool places!

Malfoy Manor or Knockturn Alley?

Malfoy Manor. Behold the peacocks!

Bertie Bott’s or Fizzing Whizbees?

Bertie Bott's Every Flavor beans.

Witch Weekly Or The Daily Prophet?

Daily Prophet. Great Pictures.

Rita Skeeter or Barty Crouch?

You mean to kill? Both.

Gyrffindor or Ravenclaw?

Ravenclaw. Griffindors are suicidal morons, with few exceptions.


Have you Been to A Release Party?


Ever cried while reading one of the books?

Not once, though my eyes almost teared up once.

A Movie?


Books or Movies?

Books. The movies got a lot of stuff wrong.

Had A Dream About Harry Potter?

The characters have starred, but they were mixed with my own alternate realities.

Been To A Fansite?

Umm... Why is this on

Been to JKR’s Site?

Once or twice.

Have You Ever Roleplayed?


If So/Do..Who were you/ are you?

I replied in a negative manner.

Did you use to have an absurd theory?

Nay, I say.

What was it?

What part of my answer didn't you understand? The N or the O?

Did you/Do you hide your obbsession?

Of course not!I'm a Harry Potter Fangirl and proud of it!

Did it/Does it work?

Of course it did! Everyone knows I'm insane.

Ever dressed up like a Character? For Halloween or Just No Reason at all?

Eh, yes. I want as a witch for Halloween once. Got the robes and everything!

Ever noticed That You can’t “Spell Hermione without Ron”?

I know! It's so cute!

Notice That If Harry&Hermione Got Married They’d Have EXACT Same Intials?

How interesting I hadn't noticed that. But they won't; Boy-Who-Lived/Gin-Gin & Hermy/Won-Won.

Did you just try to prove that wrong?

No, but it could be if 'Mione didn't change her name.

Have you noticed That Lily Evans And Ginny Weasley are alot alike?

Obviously. Fiery Red-Heads with look-alike husbands. One of each pair had been in love with the other since first meeting them and it took fo'eva for the other to realize they loved them back.

Do you find it wierd that Harry & His Dad Fell In Love With Girls So A Like?

Not really, Great minds think alike, so the same should be true for not-so-great minds.

Do you know what fanfiction is?

Oh, no way! I've never even heard of it! Note:Sarcasm

Ever Been To A Fanfiction site?

No. No I haven't (sarcasm).

Are you a member of a fanfiction site?


What site? It's not like I'm on it or anything!

Do you write fanfiction?

Eh, I read it a lot more.

Do you like to write fanfiction?

Somewhat. Like I said, I'm more of a reader.

Ever had Harry Potter Candy?

No, but now I know what to put on my Christmas list.

Do you own a lot of Harry Potter Stuff?

Not a whole lot. Books, movies, robes, tie.

Do you have Harry Potter Scene It?

No, but I have the Wii game of HBP.

Do You Have A Harry Potter Shirt?

No, but I really ought to get one.

What Character Are You Most Often Compared Too?

None in particular. Fiery Red Head I, I suppose. TemperIntelligent=Me

Do You Agree With This?

Abosoutly, without a doubt.

What Are They?

I don't know, but I doubt they appreciate being referred to as objects. This should be "Who are they?"

Do you object to being Called By them?

How does one get Called?Is it painful?

Are Your friends Supportive of your obsession?

They are also obsessed.

Do you have any inside jokes that relate to Harry Potter?

Not really.

What’s One? (You don’t have to explain)

I said I didn't have any. Weren't you listening? Dunderhead.

Do you relate a lot of things to Harry Potter?

Not particularly.

Do you love being obsessed With Harry Potter?

I can safely say it is not the worst thing that could have happened.

Do you wish that you went to Hogwarts?

The disappointment when I didn't is still fresh in my memory after three years!

Have you re-read the books?

Multiple time, with the exception of Order of Phoenix.

Have you had A Harry Potter Themed Party?

Unfortunately, no.

Have You Had An RP Party?

Ah, no. That would be fun.

Do You Want To?

It would be interesting.

Have you ever read a Harry Potter Musical?

Haha, no, but I watched one!

Have You Ever Wrote One?

Definitely not.

Do You Want To?

Not really.

Have you ever entered a contest to win something Harry Potter?


If You Wrote A Hogwarts Musical Would You Let People Read it


Are You Going To Write One?


IS The Musical Thing Annoying You?


Am I more annoying than Rita Skeeter?

No, but you're getting close. You have achieved placement on my personal "To Brutally Murder" list.


Which is your favorite Harry Potter book? Deathly Hallows, closely followed by Prisoner of Azkaban.

Which is your favorite Harry Potter movie? Sorcerer’s Stone

Who is your favorite HP character(s)? Luna, Nev, Sirius, Lils.

What house do you prefer to be in? Ravenclaw or Slytherin.

But what house would you think you'll be in? Ravenclaw.

Which ghost within Hogwarts is your favorite? Sir Nicholas de Mimsy Porpington

What subject in Hogwarts do you like the best? Charms. Flitwick is da bomb!

Who is your favorite teacher in Hogwarts? Prof. Flitwick.

Which position would you want to be in for Quidditch? Beater. I'd like to be seeker, but I wouldn't be very good at it.

Which position in Quidditch do you think fits you the most? Beater

Who do you want to make friends with? Mr. Moony, Lily-Flower, Sirius-ly Hot, Jamsie-Poo, Prof. Minnie, Hagrid.

If you were in Hogwarts, who would be your best buddy? Dumbledore and Luna!

Why would he/she be your best buddy? They are wise and insane. We would get along famously!

Which character in the book can you relate to? Luna, I guess. I have my own version of reality and no one really understands it or wants to hear about it.

What pet would you get? Owl!!! It would be such a useful pet! If not possible, I'd probably get a tiger or jaguar, saying they never specify what kind of cat.

If's (if questions):

If you happened to discover the Mirror of Erised, what would you see in it? I would see myself as successful and famous person, unite with nature and understanding the universe.

If your friend was pulled into the Whomping Willow by a black dog, would you jump in and rescue him/her? Probably, but I would hesitate first and wonder just how stupid I was being. Then my pride would get in the way of my rationality, at which point I would follow my friend to try and save them.

If Sirius Black turned up on your doorstep, what would be your reaction? AWESOME!!!!! I would stare at him quizzically until I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth and invite him in for tea.

What would be his reaction to your reaction? Who are you? And why do you seem to know so much about me?'

If you found out you could speak Parseltongue, whom would you tell (characters in the HP book)? Voldy! Anything to take him down a notch.

If you landed yourself in the same situation as Harry was in with Umbridge's detention, would you tell anyone about the marks on your hand? No, I would consider them a mark of my determination against evil and only use them to gather support against Umbitch all else failed.

More questions:

Who do you want to go to the Yule Ball with? Myself. I don't do dances.

Post a character that has the same hair color as you do. Hermione Granger.

Post a character that has the same eye color as you. Mix Dumbledore and Harry.

What color comes into your mind when Sirius Black is mentioned? A kind of bright reddish color. Scarlet, maybe?

What color comes into your mind when Tonks is mentioned? Pink

What color comes into your mind when Ron is mentioned? Red

What color comes into your mind when Hermione is mentioned? Brown

What color comes into your mind when Harry is mentioned? Green

What color comes into your mind when Draco is mentioned? Silver

Is this quiz getting boring and too long? Not particularly.

If you got hold of a bottle of Felix Felicis, what would you drink it for? I would use it in competitions so I could win. It's not prohibited in the muggle world.

Do you like the books more or the movies? Books. The movies get it very wrong. I have a picture in my head and anything else inspires annoyance.

Who's your favorite out of the Marauders? Sirius Black!!!! He is also my favorite character in the whole series.

What would your Patronus take shape in? Wolf or Raccoon.

What would be your Animagus form? Wolf

What subject do you want to be the best in? Every Single One. I'd probably be pretty good at Potions, and DADA, but I'd suck at Divination.

This or that:

Sirius Black or Remus Lupin? Paddy the Awesome.

Severus Snape or Sirius Black? Sirius-ly Black

Hermione or Cho? She-Who-Knows-Everything.

James Potter or Snape? Prongs!

Hagrid or Snape? Hagrid!

The Marauders or The Golden Trio? The Marauders. So much fun, so little time.

Ability to become Invisible or become an Animagus? Animagus. Turning into an animal would be incredibly useful and I could always cast a Dissillusionment Charm

Harry or Ron? The-Boy-Who-Wouldn't-Die.

Fleur or Tonks? 'Dora.

Hermione or Ginny? Miss Granger

Cedric Diggory or Viktor Krum? Vicky!

Luna Lovegood or Cho Chang? Lovely Luna

Dumbledore or Peeves the Poltergeist? Ah, that depends on what i'm doing at the time. If I want a wise old nutter, Dumbly. If I want a Partner-In-Crime, Peeves.

Aragog (Hagrid's dead spider) or Grawp (Hagrid's giant brother)? Aragog, I think. I like spiders and Grawp just makes me a bit nervous of being stepped on.

Zonko's Joke Shop or Honeydukes? Honeydukes! I could use another few lifetimes supplies of candy. Mine don't deem to last very long.

Bertie Botts' Every Flavor Beans or Chocolate Frogs? Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. Imagine how funny it would be to give my friends bags of only the horrible ones!

Death Eaters or Aurors? Aurors. They kill for good, not for evil. Or, so they say.

Dumbledore or Voldemort? His Headship, Dumbly-dorr!

Bellatrix Lestrange or Narcissa Malfoy? Bella. She is awful, but at least she can blame it on insanity. However, Cissy does save Scarhead's life.

Would you rather go through the first task or the third task in the Triwizard Tournament? First Task: Dragon. Third Task: Maze with Voldemort on the other side. Give me a dragon any day!

Is this survey fun or boring? Fun. I am enjoying coming up with answers to your fantabulous questions.

Another Potter survey made by Professor Cassandra :)

Question 1: What is your favorite Harry Potter book and why? Least favorite?

My favorite was Deathly Hallows, because it really showed a magnificent story line, with action, danger, loss and triumph at every turn. My least favorite was Order of Phoenix, because Harry was acting like a true teenager throughout the book. Well, that and the story just wasn't written very well, with gaping holes and long periods of nothing.

Question 2: What is your favorite Harry Potter movie and why? Least favorite?

I don't particularly like the movies, but my favorite is the Sorcerer's Stone. I really didn't like Order of Phoenix, except for the Twin's departure scene.

Question 3: Who is your favorite character?

Ah... Sirius Black.

Question 4: What is your favorite spell?

Sectumsempra, Confringo, Expecto Patronam, Expulso, Legilimens, Reducto, Stupefy. I like offensive and explosive spells.

Question 5: Who is your favorite teacher at Hogwarts?

Moony, while he was there. Otherwise, The Charms Master.

Question 6: Who is your favorite Death Eater (Voldemort included)?

Dragon Bad-Faith. Love 'im.

Question 7:Who is your favorite Hogwarts Student?

Gred and Forge, the Infamous.

Question 8: What house would you want to be in? Which house do you think you would be sorted into?

I want to be in Slytherin, but I'd probably end up in Ravenclaw. I like to think I'm a lot more cunning than I am. Sad really.

Question 9: Would you join the Order or the Death Eaters?

Order. We must fight Chaos!!!!!!

Question 10: If you could choose any character to be your boyfriend/girlfriend, who would it be?

The mighty Padfoot, during the Marauder's Era.

Question 11: Who would be your best friend?

Luna Lovegood. Both of us have a peculiar view on 'ze world and talk of things no one else understands.

Question 12: Warner Brothers postponed the release date of the Half-Blood Prince movie to July of 2009. What are your thoughts on this?


Question 13: What is your favorite magical creature?

The dragon. They would be the most amazing pets, (My house isn't made of wood)

Question 14: What is your favorite class at Hogwarts?


Question 15: Would you like to throw Dolores Umbridge into a boiling vat of acid?

As long as I can take her out again and wait until she is partially dissolved before throwing her in front of a firing squad that takes tor to an erupting volcano and leaves her there.

Question 16: What character would you dress up as for Halloween?

Bellatrix. She is insane, but for some reason I love her character.

Question 17: How did you get your copy of The Deathly Hallows?

On the internet...

Question 18: How did you get into Harry Potter?

I had to read the first book for school in the fifth grade and fell in love as a consequence.

Question 19: What is one memorable experience you have had involving the series?

Watching Deathly Hallows when it first came out.

Question 20: Have you ever seen a movie you were not particularly interested in, simply because it had a Harry Potter actor in it?

No. I believe in the characters, not the actors.

Question 21: Would you go to Hogwarts, Durmstrang, or Beauxbatons?

Hoggy, Warty, Hogwarts!

Question 22: What was your favorite Triwizard task?

The dragon. I love magical creatures of all sorts and stealing from dragons is definitely on my top ten To Do list.

Question 23: Before you read The Deathly Hallows, what was your opinion of Snape?

Git. Overgrow Bat. Idiotic Moron. Evil Potions Master.

Question 24: Do you read or write fanfiction?

No, duh.

Question 25: Which spell do you wish you could use in real life?

Every. Single. One.

Question 26: What position would you play in Quidditch?

Beater. I'd like to play seeker, but I doubt I'd be any good at it. Hitting balls with a bat while flying, however...

Question 27:What was your favorite moment in any of the books?

Really liked the Twins escape. And the Battle of Hogwarts. And the Quidditch games!!!

Question 28: What event in the series did you wish had happened differently?

Sirius shouldn't have fallen in the curtain and the whole of the fifth book (minus the Weasley Escape) should be re-written.

Question 29: Would you join the DA?

Wouldn't even hesitate.

Question 30: Do you think Voldemort has EVER had a girlfriend?

No. He was a fairly individual person. Any girl with sense would have seen that he didn't care about them.

Question 31: What name from the series would you be willing to change your own name to?

Ninguno! I love my name. If I had to change it, I'd change it to Lily.

Question 32: What type of wand would you have?

The Elder Wand!!!! Just Kidding, I'd have a wand made of ironwood and unicorn tail.

Question 33: What would your pet be?

An owl, though I might get a tiger just to be able to say "Well, you didn't specify what kind of cat."

Question 34: If you could belong to any family in the series, which would it be?

The Malfoys. Think of what I could do with that money and influence! Plus, I've always wanted to try being a spoiled brat and not have anyone question it.

Question 35: Which Hallow would you most like to have?

The cloak. Invisibility would be a fantastic power, and although I want the Elder wand, I'm quite sure it would corrupt me.

Question 36: What is your favorite horcrux?

Ravenclaw's Diadem. It seems to me the most symbolic horcrux.

Question 37: Ever seen Potter Puppet Pals?

Snape. Snape. Severus Snape. DUMBLEDORE! Oh, my poor button!

Question 38: What would your patronus be?

Wolf, probably. Or, maybe a raccoon.

Question 39: What would be your animagus form?

Same as my patronus, a wolf or raccoon.

Question 40: Who is your favorite Marauder?

Mister Padfoot.

Question 41: If you went to Diagon Alley, where would you go first?

Gringotts! I've gots to get me gold!

Question 42: Favorite member of the Black family?

Sirius Black.

Question 43: Favorite member of the Weasley family?

Forge. Or maybe Charlie.

Question 44: Who should have won the Triwizard Cup?

Harry Bloody Potter.

Question 45: Who is your favorite actor in the films?

I don't really like the actors. I like the characters.

Question 46: (insert actor here) should totally play (insert character here).

Miss Imaginary should totally play Lily Luna Potter.

Question 47: What would you wear to the Yule Ball?

Erm... a dress? I don't really know.

Question 48: How many times have you read the series?

Depends. I've read most of the books at least four times, but I only read the fifth book twice, 'cause I didn't like it.

Question 49: Who is your favorite couple?

Lovely Lily/Elvendork

Question 50: Did you like this survey?

Good times, good times.

Rules are you can only say guilty or innocent. You can't explain any of your answers unless someone asks you!

Asked someone to marry you? Innocent

Kissed one of your Facebook friends? Innocent

Danced on a table in a bar? Innocent

Ever told a lie? Guilty

Had feelings for someone whom you can't have back? Innocent

Kissed a picture? Guilty

Slept in until 5 PM? Innocent

Fallen asleep at work/school? Innocent

Held a snake? Innocent

Been suspended from school? Innocent

Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent

Stolen from a store? Innocent

Been fired from a job? Innocent

Done something you regret? Guilty

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Innocent

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Innocent

Kissed in the rain? Innocent

Sat on a roof top? Guilty

Kissed someone you shouldn't? Innocent

Sang in the shower? Guilty

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Innocent

Shaved your head? Innocent

Been told that you're handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Innocent

Had communication w/ your ex? Innocent

DATING Someone? Innocent

A total stranger treat you by paying your jeepney/ cab fare? Innocent

Milked a cow? Innocent

Enjoyed your vegetables as a child? Innocent

Spoiled as a child? Guilty

Written love notes but never handed them out? Innocent

Draw in class instead of doing your work? Guilty

Girls: has your BF ever taken you to the dollar movie theatre? Innocent

Enjoy music? Guilty

Spend more time on your MySpace than cleaning your room? Innocent

Want to be a monster? Guilty

Get embarrassed easy? Guilty

Is 7 your lucky number? Innocent

Are you an early bird? Innocent

Do you write poetry? Guilty

Know how to swim? Guilty

Have a hidden stash of money? Guilty

Clean your ears? Guilty

Like the sound of the ocean? Guilty


Here's what ya do: mark your answers with a little 'x' in the () if its true, but BE HONEST (or you shall be stalked and punished by lack of cookies)!! Then copy and paste it onto your profile!

1 (x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking
2 (x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking
3 (x) You have run into a glass/screen door
4 (x) You have jumped out of a moving vehicle
5 (x) You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks
6 (x) You have ran into a tree
7 ()It IS possible to lick your elbow
8 (x) You tried to lick your elbow
9 () You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same rhythm
10 () You just tried to sing them
11 (x) You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen
12 () You have choked on your own spit(too many times to count)
13 () You have seen the the Matrix and still don't get it..
14 (x) You didn't notice that in the last question 'the' was spelled twice
15 (x) You just looked at it
16 () Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde
17 () A LOT of People have called you slow
18 (x) You have accidentally caught something on fire
19 () You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes
20 (x) You have caught yourself drooling
21 () You've fallen asleep in class
22 (x) Sometimes you just stop thinking
23 (x) You are telling a story and forget what you were talking about
24 () People are often shaking their heads and walk away from you
25 () You are often told to use your 'inside voice'
26 (x) You use your fingers to do simple math
27 (x) You have eaten a bug
28 (x) You are taking this test when you should be doing something important.
29 (x) You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it
30 (x) You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand or pocket
31 (x) You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don't even when you know it won't happen to you, like on a myspace...
32 (x) You break a lot of things
33 () Your friends know not to use big words around you
34 (x) You sometimes tilt your head when you' re confused
35 (x) You have fallen out of your chair before
36 () When you're laying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling/wall.
37 (x) The word 'like' is used many times a day
38 (X) You called a friend and then completely forgot what you were gonna say
39 (x) You have spelled your name wrong
40 (x) You have drawn a disformed heart

Your Guy Side:

You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
You played with Hotwheels cars as a kid
At some point in your life you wanted to be a firefighter
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what other people think
Sports are fun
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night

Total= 14 That's just sad.


You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport

You hate wearing the color black
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.

You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were in gymnastics/dance.
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing

Total= 5. Really sad.


X You own a cell phone.
X You own something from Abercrombie.
X You own something from Pac sun.
X You own something from Hollister.
X You own something from American eagle.
X You love/like going to the mall.
X You own an iPod/MP3 player.
X You love Starbucks.
X You have been called a brat.
X You hate buying things that are on sale.
X You have more than one house.

Total: 2


X Black is one of your favourite colors.
X You have thought about death.
X You wear chains.
X You like heavy metal.
X You’ve shopped at Hot Topic.
X You have worn black lipstick.
X Your hair was/is dark.
X You dislike preps.
X You’re an atheist/ Satanist/agnostic.

Total: 3


X You can skateboard
X You’ve worn plaid.
X You like Converse.
X You hate MTV.
X You have/had blue, pink, red, purple, or green hair. - (streaks count)
X You dislike pink.
X You hate/dislike preps.
X You wear/wore skateboarding shoes.

Total: 0


X You love the computer.
X You like Harry Potter.
X You are supposed to wear glasses/contacts
X You get straight A's.
X You love/like reading.
X You were/are in band.
X You don't care what you look like.
X You have a curfew.
X You always do your homework.
X You never miss school unless you're sick.

Total: 6


X You watch/watched the Super bowl
X You own track shoes or other sports related shoes.
X You collect your jerseys.
X You have a wall or shelf dedicated to your trophies / awards. (But they are mostly academic)
X You have posters or plaques of famous athletes.
X Your garage consists of sports equipment.
X You belong/belonged to a school team.
X You are going/did go to a sports summer camp.
X You have a specific number.

Total: 1


X You like loud music.
X You love/loved the Ninja Turtles.
X You never walk anywhere.
X You wear slip-on shoes.
X You wear/wore Vans.
X You like the band Panic! At the disco.
X You wear band t-shirts.
X People have called you a freak and meant it
X You love to "hardcore" dance.
X Hair has been died more than 1 color

Total: 3



You drink a lot of tea.

You know what a brolly is.

Deal or No Deal has taken over your life.

You wanted Alex to win X Factor.

You use the word "bugger"or the phrase "bloody hell."

Fish and Chips are yummy.

You can eat a Full English Breakfast.

You dislike emos almost as much as you dislike chavs.

Its futball.. not ... soccer.

Total: 1


You wear flip flops all year

You call them "thongs" not "flip flops".

You love a backyard barbie.

You know a barbie is not a doll.

You love the beach.

Sometimes you swear without realizing.

You're a sports fanatic.

You are tanned.

You're a bit of a bogan.

You have an australian something.

Total: 4


The Sopranos is a great show.

Your last name ends in a vowel.

Your grandmother or mother makes her own sauces.

You know how a real meatball tastes.

You know Italian songs.

You have darkish hair.

You speak SOME Italian.

You are under 5'10''.

Pizza/spaghetti is the best food in the world.

You talk with your hands.

Total: 5


You say member instead of remember.

You speak Spanish.

You like tacos.

You know what a puta is.

You talk fast.

You have had highlights or have dyed your hair.

You know what platanos are.

You've said Te Amo or Te Quiero.

Total: 6


You say villain as: Vee-lon.

You have more than one vodka bottle in your house.

You know the difference between channel 1 and rtvi

You know of somebody named Natasha.

You don't get cold easily.

You get into contests all the time.

You can make do with the cold weather.

You love listening to trance.

Total: 2


Your parents let you drink.

You know what a pizda is.

You have Pierogi at least once a week.

People always ask to see your "kielbasa" checking if your Polish.

People randomly call you their best friend.

You have made/know what pisanki are.

You laughed when Poland beat the USA in the 2002 world cup.

Total: 1


You think beer is the best.

You have a bad temper.

Your last name starts with a Mc, Murph, O', Fitz or ends with a y, on, un, an,en, in, ry, ly.

You have blue or green eyes.

You like the color green.

You have been to a St. Paddys day party.

You have a family member from Ireland.

You have/had freckles.

Your family get togethers always include drinking.

You have an odd love of leprechauns.

You have four leaf clovers.

Total: 6


You have slanty/small eyes.

You eat rice a lot.

You are good at math.

You have played the piano. (I did for like a month while visiting my Great Aunt, but haven't since...)

You have family from Asia.

You laugh sometimes covering your mouth.

Most people think you're Chinese.

You have glasses/contacts.

You call hurricanes typhoons.

You go to Baulko.

You play Handball more than once a week.

You know what DDR is.

Total: 5


You like bread.

You think American Chocolate is good.

You Speak some German.

You know what Schnitzel is.

You hate it when stupid people call you a Nazi.

You went to Pre-school.

You're over 5'10".

You know the real meaning of "Fag".

You make pretty words sound scary.

You enjoy watching the military.

You know that GUMMY BEARS were invented in Germany.

Total: 7


You like to ride 4 wheelers.

You love beer.

You say eh.

You know what poutine is.

You speak french.

You love Tim Horton's.

At one point you lived in a farm house.

You watch/watched Degrassi.

You play/ played hockey or watch it.

You know who Massari is.

Total: 2


You like french toast.

You love wine.

You speak a little or are fluent in French

You have eaten a snail.

You like fashion.

You have been to France.

You are either a Catholic, a Muslim, a Protestant or a Jew.

You say "Zut" instead of damn.

You own a beret.

You actually know what a beret is.

Total: 3


You hate foreigners.

You hate non - Christians.

You've been to more then 5 states.

You're lazy.

You are not cultured.

You don't read.

You shop at Walmart.

You spell colour "color".

Total: 3


You're very loud.

Your family alone makes a small city.

You blast music Saturday morning to clean the house

You share a bathroom with 5 people. (Can it be considered as 3 people?)

You say "open the light" instead of "turn on the light".

You go to church every Sunday.

You always have a "to go plate" when leaving from a party.

You have a last name that's hard to pronounce.

You eat potatoes with the skin ON it.

Total: 2

Brown (Indian, Guyanese, etc)

You know who Shahrukh Khan and Hrithik Roshan are.

You get crazy over Hollywood actors and actresses!

You know what the movie Dhoom 2 is.

You can eat really good spicy food!

You have lots and LOTS of spices at your home.

You came or live in Toronto and have been to Gerrard St.

You have any sort of ATN channel.

You know what koothi, kootha, or banchod is.

You love eating Tandoori Chicken.

You have relatives you've never even heard of.

Total: 2


You are smart in math or science.

Your mom or dad are either doctors or engineers.

All you eat is kabab and kofta.

Your parents have one car that's a Toyota.

Your house actually does not smell like food. (It smells like cats, actually.)

You have like 67890 middle names.

Total: 3


You have been to a pow wow.

You have a native name

You are more than a quarter native.

You know what tribe your ancestors were in.

You have painted your face like a warrior.

You have been to a native exhibit out of school.

You play/played lacrosse.

You have eaten salmon.

Total: 3


You can tell the difference between a Scottish & Irish accent.

One of your family members has an accent.

You actually don't mind bagpipes.

Scottish recipes are in your household somewhere.

You've heard the song "Scotland the brave".

No matter what, there will ALWAYS be whiskey at family gatherings.

Any team playing England is your best friend.

You have tried haggis.

You drink tap water.

You know Edinburgh is pronounce "Edin-buura".

Total: 2

New Zealand

You get annoyed that people only remember your country because of how many sheep are there.

You know what a barbie is.

You hate aussies

You know what an 'aussie' is.

You know that NZ is famous only because of lord of the rings.

You like chocolate fish /or pineapple lumps.

You know what L&P is and you like it!

Total: 1

Ah... this amused me. Of course, I'm not really any of these, but it's still fun.

You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this 'ice ice _'
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"

You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastc cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
When everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
. . . Furbies
Saved By The Bell was the coolest show ever!
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Mortal Kombat was awesome--the game and the movie
Gak was the coolest stuff invented.

Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
You had to read Weekly Reader's in class.

If you even know what an original walkman is.

You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.

You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it?!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .

Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before MIKE JONES . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.

When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkmans.
When gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
When you weren't cool unless you had a Starter jacket.
Way back.

Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .
or if you smiled at one of these things.

20 Percy Jackson Questions

1. Percabeth or Prachel? Percabeth

2. Favorite guy character? Nico di Angelo

3. Favorite girl character? Thaila Grace

4. Favorite God? Hades

5. Favoite Goddess? Athena

6. Zeus, Poseidon or Hades? Hades

7. Is Luke hot? Not particularly

8. Would you join the hunters? Yes!

9. Archery or sword fighting? Sword fighting

10. Iris messaging or Hermes express? Iris messaging

11. Favorite minor God/Goddess? Nemesis, Nike

12. Favorite book? The Last Olympian

13. Least favorite? The Sea of Monsters

14. Would you live year round at Camp Half-Blood or just go in the summer? Year round.

15. Favorite couple? Thalico!

16. Are you a demigod? Obvoiusly

17. Who would be your parent? Hades

18. Favorite minor character? Travis and Connor!

19. Ethan or Luke? Luke

20. Favorite monster? Hellhounds



You like being in charge. (I'd rather have nothing to do with humanity, actually.)

You often wish you could just zap someone with a thunderbolt.

You were voted Class President.

You do what’s best for everyone. (Only what's best for me.)

You think you have what it takes to run for President.

You think every problem has a solution.

You love showing off.

You like plane rides.

You are hydrophobic.



You feel at home in the water.

Your favorite vacation place is at the beach.

You enjoy snorkeling, scuba diving, surfing, etc.

You want to do something about the marine species being abused today.

You visit the local pool on a regular basis.

You swim professionally.

You hate seafood.

You never get seasick.

You’d rather ride a boat than a plane.

You are acrophobic.



You’re not that much of a people person.

You like staying in the dark and writing poems.

You experience bad moods on a regular basis.

You like listening to loud, angry music. (That does depend on my mood.)

You spend most of your time alone.

You think parties are loud and annoying.

You like to keep to yourself.

All your closets are padlocked.

You write in diary/journal.

You feel most active at night.

9/10 (Gee, doesn't that make me feel great.)


You own a garden.

You like the great outdoors.

You have a green thumb

You’re an environmentalist.

You have a special connection with animals.

You’re a vegetarian.

You like going hiking, camping, and looking at the natural wonders of the world.

You always check a product if it’s environmentally-friendly.

You love going to flower shop.

You think global warming is a threat that must be dealt with.



You often start fights.

You’re a very aggressive type of person.

You like watching wrestling.

You’re competitive.

You like reading about war. ("Napoleon and the Napoleonic Wars" is my favorite book of all time.)

You don’t take crap from anybody.

You have anger management

You never back away from a fight.

Everyone does what you say. (I'm just that awesome.)

You don’t always think before you do something.



You have an insatiable thirst for knowledge.

You’re probably the only person who visit the library on a regular basis.

Half of your Christmas presents last year were books.

You like reading about war, mostly about the reasons and controversies behind it.

You’re the valedictorian in your class.

You’ve never gotten a grade below 90 in your report card.

You get political jokes without asking people to explain them.

You think it would be better if you were the President.

You have a huge shelf of books at home.

You think vinyl pocket protectors are useful.

9/10 (Oooookay...)


You’re very creative and artistic.

You like listening to all kinds of music in general.

You always feel sunny and optimistic.

You are talented at drawing.

You like writing poetry.

You can play at least 3 musical instruments.

You like going to art museums.

You almost always win 1st Place in Art Contests.

You have straight As in Art on your report card.

Your school notebook has more doodles than notes.



You dislike boys in general.

A deer is one of your favorite animals.

You can shoot targets.

You like silver.

You like the moon better than the sun.

Zoe Nightshade is awesome.

You love wild animals.

You spend most of your time outdoors.

You love to move around the place.

Hunting is not cruel, if it's to hunt down monsters.



You have a way with tools.

You build awesome things during your free time

You’re the best at Woodshop in your class.

Metalworking is your forte.

You have your own toolbox.

You often search the Internet to look for pictures of robots.

You’re a techie.

You often have carpentry projects.

You dream of being a carpenter.

You aren't afraid of fire.



Every guy/girl swoons for you.

You like putting on makeup.

You naturally smell good.

You never experience a bad hair day.

Your favorite activity is clothes-shopping

You’re always at the front of every trend.

You’re the popular girl/guy at your school.

You’re often invited to parties.

Your motto is ‘It’s never a party without me.”

You look at yourself in the mirror on a regular basis.



You like pickpocketing your friends.

You’re a prankster.

You’re a speed demon.

You consider yourself restless.

You’re the best speaker in the class.

You like thinking on your feet and using your wits.

You’re inventive and resourceful.

You often start arguments. (Only with my brothers)

You’ve never lost a debate.

You like making witty and sarcastic statements.



You’re the life of the party.

You like wine.

You’ve probably tasted every alcoholic drink out there

You can finish a martini in less than a minute.

You have a happy, cheerful disposition.

You’re a foodie.

You like going to social events and mingling with people.

You like trying out new food.

You feel that you’re abundant in life.

You think that too much of anything is bad


I seem to be tied between Athena and Hades at 9/10 each, so I'm going to say that I'm the child of an Athena demigod and a Hades demigod.

This or That (normal style):

1. Fruit or vegetable?

Fruit, obviously.

2. Lights on or lights off?

Off. If I need to see something, I'll use a flashlight.

3. Chocolate or Vanilla?


4. TV or Movie?

Movie. It is longer and I can randomly pause it without paying for it.

5. Car or Truck?

Car. They pollute less.

6. Rock or Rap?

Rock. Rap is so annyoing and like I always say, Rap is just Retards Attempting Poetry (deathoughtkid: Not my answer, but I wholeheartedly agree.)

7. Cookies or Muffins?

Cookies! Muffins are just like little cakes and if I wanted that, I'd have gotten a bigger one.

8. French toast or French fries?

French toast.

9. Winter Break or Spring Break?

Winter break, since it's Chirstmas!

10. Ipod or MP3?

Ipod. For one thing, I've actually got one.

11. Computer or television?

Computer. My laptop is my most prized possession.

12. Snickers or Twix?

Umm... I don't know... Twix.

13. Coke or Pepsi?


14. Comedy or Drama?

Comedy. But drama can be good too, if I'm in the mood.

15. Jack Sparrow or Will Turner?

Captain Jack Sparrow, thank you very much.

16. Emo or Goth?

Goth. Like Nico!

17. Summer or Winter?

Winter. It's not quite as burningly hot.

18. Call or Text?

Text, I guess.

19. Chocolate milk or Hot Chocolate?

Hot chocolate, no doubt about it.

20. Christmas or Haloween?

I don't know... I think... Christmas.


1. Do you think Iggy is hot? Iggy... well, yes.

2. Did you cry when Ari died? No, just a bit sad.

3. Do you think Fang is hot? Of course, he is the hottest character in the history of really hot characters!

4. How do you pronounce Ari's name? Aw-ree.

5. Do you laugh every time you read the name Mr. Chu? Yeah, pretty much.

6. -SPOILER ALERT- In MAX, did you laugh hysterically when Total started talking about marriage? Yep.

7. -SPOILER ALERT- Did you squeal at all the faxness in MAX? Oh, yes. My brother was afraid I'd gone insane.

8. Did you angrily throw your book across the room when the flock split up? Yes, actually. I was so upset that I actually closed the book and went to read multiple extremely fluffy Fax fanfictions, to cheer me up.

9. Who is your favorite character? Fnick, by far. Iggy is also wonderful.

10. Do you like Jeb? Not really, but I don't particularly hate him.

11. -SPOILER ALERT- Were you making a genuine "WTF" face when Max and Fang grew gills? Nah, this is fiction.

12. Did you think MAX was better than TFW? Definitely.

13. -SPOILER ALERT- Did you get slightly fed up with Nudge and Angel's slight attitudes in MAX? A little.

15. If the flock had a theme song, what would it be? Me Against the World by Simple Plan

16. Have you ever imagined the flock as a band playing whatever song comes up when listening to your iPod? Pretty much any song I hear, I try to match with the Flock or a character from Max Ride.

17. Who do you think the voice should be? Oh, I don't even know.

18. Do you think one or more members of the flock should learn to play an instrument? Umm... where did this come from?

19. What bugged you the most about TFW? I don't know, everything.

20. MIGGY or FAX? Fax, all the way. Figgy is fun to read, although frecuently written in a disturbing way. Miggy is okay, but should not ever be canon.

Name 12 Characters from Maximum Ride:

1. Max

2. Fang

3. Iggy

4. Nudge

5. Gazzy

6. Ari

7. Dr. Martinez

8. Ella

9. Angel

10. Jeb

11. Max II

12. Random Reporter

1)Have you ever read a six/eleven fanfic before?

Ari/Max II. No I have not.

2)Do you think Two is hot? How hot?

Fang is hotness incarnate.

3)What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

If Random Reporter got Ella pregnant there would be Fanfiction-y drama.

4)Do you recall any fics about Nine?

Not in particular, although I'm sure they exist.

5)Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Fang and Ari. No. No they would not. Fang belongs to Max.

6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten?

Gazzy/Angel or Gazzy/Jeb... Yuck. Either incest or Jeb... and Gazzy is only nine! Neither.

7)What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

If If Dr. Martinez walked in on Fang and Random Reporter having sex, I think many people would freak out. Particularly Max and Dr. Martinez.

8)Make up a summary of a Three/Ten Fanfic.

Iggy/Jeb: Revenge: Iggy style.

9)Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff?

Max/Ella. Eh, possibly. Don't know.

10)Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic.

Dr.M/RandomReporter Um... "The Tales of Dr. Martinez and the Deadly Assassin"

11)What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower Nine?

Nudge de-flowering Angel is a somewhat terrifying prospect. It'd be part of a totally random, plot-less silly story.

12)Does anyone on your friends list read Three?

Iggy. Yep.

13) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?

Max II/Maya. I have no idea.

14) Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five ?

Fang/Nudge/Gazzy. I sincerely hope not.

15) What might ten scream at a moment of great passion?

Jeb. "DIE EVIL MUTANT VERMIN!!!!!!!!!!!"

16) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

Ella. Something about living in a shadow.

17) If you wrote a One/Six/Two fic, what would the warning be?

Max/Ari/Fang. Ari-bashing. Character death.

18) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?

Jeb using a pick-up line on Fang... Apart from the "Gah! He was like their father" factor... I don't know, something incredibly stalkerish.

19) How might Eleven describe a relationship between Two and Eight?

Max II describing a relationship between Fang and Ella. "Wrong! Fang has to be with ME!!!!!!!!! I thought he loved Max and I am Max!"

20) How emo is Seven?

Dr. Martinez. Not very.

35 Things to do when your in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

16. Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly when they take one.

17. Buy 350 cans of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" when the cashier tells you the price.

18. Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask people where you can find the CDs.

19. Start a fish-stick fight.

20. Walk up to random people, give them bear hugs, and say very loudly that you missed them and they never really did get that dandruf shampoo you recommended.

21. Jump in a cart and have a friend push you while you scream "The Germans are coming!"

22. Attempt to fly off a high shelf.

23. Run up to an employee and ask "Do you like me?" If they say no, yell out "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm telling the manager!" and start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes just to get you away, pat their shoulder, and say "What a shame because that girl over there" point to a random person "was just about to ask you to dinner."

24. Throw confetti on random people walking into the store.

25. Whisper "I know your 'little' secret" to people in the checkout lines.

26. Stand inside the freezer in the frozen food section.

27. Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...they want me to take you aisle eight..."

28. Ask the clerk to make a page saying "If there is an Edward in the store, Bella is looking for you at the main info desk".

29. See how many cans of frosting you can open and thoroughly lick without getting caught.

30. Go to a person with a shopping cart full of merchandise and demand a ride in the basket.

31. Practice your juggling with a few Grade-A eggs.

32. Squeeze the cream-filled doughnuts.

33. Walk into the baby clothes section, pick up a pink baby dress, then throw it down and run away screaming that the pink bunnies of doom came back.

34. Bow to the display of T.Vs in the electronics section.

35. See if you can move the bottom can from the gigantic canned beet pyramid

What to Do During an Exam

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Darn this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go ice skating.)

15. Show up completely insane (completely insane means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Act spazzy

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

34. Fake an heart attack. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply.

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girly-girl nearby.

39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your pencil. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

42. Dress like the professor.

43. Cross-Dress.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.

100 Stupid Things To Do

1. Forget to put the lid on the blender, turn it on, and have everything fly out

2. Get your head stuck between the stair rails

3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it

4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking

5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking

6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head

7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself

8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand

9. Tried to push open a door that said pull

10. Tried to pull open a door that said push

11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion

12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else

14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave

15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair

16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble

17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it

18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard

19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name

20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot

21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on

22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.

23. Have run into a closed door

24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else

25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it

26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke

27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer

28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan

29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk

30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock

31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it

32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside . Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else

34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store off their property

35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot

36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on

37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in

38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard

39. Walked into a pole

40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident

41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house

42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on

43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small

44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it

45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.

46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it

47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up

48. Have poked yourself in the eye

49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on

50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair

51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test

52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil

53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it

54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.

55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were

56. Looked into an overhead light purposely while it was on

57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.

58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it

60. Have ever laughed at a joke or movie that no one else thought was funny

61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa

62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it

63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence

64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person

65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one or because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side

66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions

67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong

68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it

69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out.

70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught

71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face

72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb

73. Ran into a door jam

74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid

75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it

76. Have purposely licked playground sand

77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band

78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't

79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people (Yes!)

80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out

81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off

82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again

83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back

84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about

85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair

86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone

87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird

88.When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people

89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria

90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.

91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil

92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them

93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper

94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours

95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story

96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs

97. You have spelled your own name wrong before

98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling

99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class

100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth


In Rememberence to Severus Snape,
a Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor,
without all the red and gold crap.

In Rememberence to Fred Weasley,
who fought bravely to the very end,
and whose jokes will forever brighten his other half,
and with loyalty await his brother,
with many jokes,
he's got forever to think of them, right?

In Rememberence to Dobby,
who was more free and full of love,
than any elf, and most humans.

In Rememberence to Remus J. Lupin,
the last REAL Marauder,
who was not just a wonderful father,
an incredible husband and a brave hero,
as well as a wicked werewolf.

In Rememberence to Nymphadora Tonks,
who died for the greater good,
and will probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora.

In Rememberence to Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody,
Who's motto "Constant Vigilance" kept him alive for so long.

In Rememberence to Tom Marvolo Riddle, A.K.A. Voldemort,
who was pretty cool and cute when he was younger,
but who got his ass kicked thoroughly in the end.

In Rememberence to Albus Dumbledore,
whose past and wisdom confused us,
whose seeming betrayal shocked us,
but who actually turned out to be an okay guy in the end.

In Rememberence to Bellatrix Lestrange,
because it was awesome how Molly Weasley kicked her ass in a duel,
she deserved everything she got in the end.

In Rememberence to Colin Creevey,
who we really don't know too well,
but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war,
so he must have done something good...
besides stalking Harry.

In Rememberance to Hedwig,
Harry's first real friend,
who lived and died soaring

Copy/Paste to Profile:

If you are going to write James Patterson a letter explaining your absolute distaste for him if Max and Fang don't end up together in the end, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you wish that you could fly so much it hurts, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know how to hack into the White House, Copy/Paste this to your profile!

90 percent of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing on the edge of a six story building. Copy this into your profile if you're part of the 10 percent yelling JUMP!!

If you sometimes wondered, why Max is the onnly one in the Flock, with a last name, COPY AND PASTE!

If you wish you were Max Ride just so you could make out with Fang, copy and paste this into your profile.

If Max needs to stop running from Fang, copy and paste this on your profile. "Max, just admit it, you looove me, this much!"- Fang.

If you found that hilarious, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you want wings and powers, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have an increasingly sophisticated and extensive vocabulary, situate this in your characterization.

If you started thinking that Dylan should go die in a whole from the minute you read about him, copy and past thins to your profile.

If you hate pasting stuff, suck it up and paste this anyway!

If you think rainbows are wonderful, post this in your profile.

If you are a Maximum Ride Fanatic, put this on your profile.

If you think Max and Fang should just get over themselves and get together already, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are SO obsessed with Maximum Ride that it is not even FUNNY anymore, post this in your profile.

90 of teens today would die if Myspace had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10 that would

If you think that Fang is way hotter than Edward copy this onto your profile.

If you love the whole blind, pyro, mutant, baker thing about Iggy, post this in your profile.

If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile.

If you read Maximum Ride School's Out - Forever in under 5 hours copy this into your profile.

If you absolutely KILLED yourself laughing when Gazzy said "'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' then copy this to your profile!

If you relate everything to Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you still laugh rereading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

be laughing/hacked the site in the first place, copy and paste this to your Profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.


If you think that girls are equals to boys, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If your happy and you know it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Fang is hotter than Iggy copy this to your profile.

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace and Facebook is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you probably need a life but have no intentions of getting one, put it on your profile.

If you act random most of the time, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love to read, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at least once a week, someone misspells or mispronounces your name...copy and paste to your profile.

1F Y0U C4N UND3R574ND 7H15 M355463 C0PY 17 4ND P4573 17 1N70 Y0UR PR0F1L3

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're obsessed with PJO, copy this into your profile.

If mint chocolate chip ice cream is REALLY YUMMY, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever wondered why the heck fanfiction doesn't have colour for profiles, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you wish that your name was as interesting as Scorpius Malfoy, Sirius Black, Gellert Grindelwald, Lavender Brown, Ginevra Weasley, Albus Severus Potter or anything like Nymphadora, Andromeda, Narcissa or Bellatrix, copy this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think it's stupid that girls are associated with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile.


65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read. If you are part of the 35 percent who read more that watch TV then cut and paste this to your Profile.

If you claim to have no life and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Rock/Paper/Sizzors solves everything, copy/paste this to your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy/paste this into your profile.

Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy/paste this onto your profile.

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bare bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery, etc.) then copy/paste this into your profile.

A large percent of authors do not know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. If you do know the difference, copy/paste this to your profile

If you've never done drugs, became an alcoholic, and/or a smoker and never plan to, copy/paste this to your profile.

If you think that Rap is the most God-awefulest thing to be called 'Music' and that rappers are wanna-be's who are paid to make fools out of themselves, and can't even sing, copy/paste this to your profile. --And remember, you can't spell Crap, without Rap.

If High School Musical bothers you for any particular reason, copy/paste this to your profile.

Drugs are bad news. Spread the word.Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your bio.

Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever shouted out the first thing that comes to mind, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever shouted out random thing and then gotten glared at copy and paste this to your profile.

98 percent of teenagers drink or have been around alcohol, put this in your profile if you like MUFFINS!

If you are so cool that you actually read through all of these (there's more BWHAHAHAHA!!), copy this into your profile!!

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

I do not do drugs. I do sugar. If you're someone who does sugar, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile.

If you laugh when you hurt yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If ANY class kills all of your self-esteem, copy this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing copy/paste this into your profile.

If you found out about fan fiction on a Google search like I did, post this on your profile!

1. Hold your breath
2. Go to your profile and add this
3. Still holding your breath
4. If you made it, your a good kisser.

If you have died, copy/paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever read a 250 pg book in less than one day, copy/paste this to your profile.

If, when you imagine the charcters in a book they looking nothing like the actors in the movie, post this on your profile!

If you've ever bitten into a banana with the peel still on it, post this on your profile!

If you have ever spent over six hours wathcing hilarious videos, post this on your profile!

If you have ever spent six hours on youtube watching random videos, post this on your profile!

If your one of those people that reads other peoples profiles, post this on your profile!

If you have ever been so bored that nothing you do ever seems fun, post this on your profile

If you can never find a candy that actually tastes sour to you, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: the fear of long words. Now what SmartAss came up with that? If you think that is really funny, but can't pronounce it, copy and paste this into your profile. (Haha! I can pronounce it!)

If you secretly hoped to get a letter from Hogwarts when you were 11, copy and paste this to your profile. (yeah, didn't happen apparently)

If you have ever run into a door, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy/paste this on your profile.

Chocolate chip cookies are the best!! If you agree, copy/paste this into your profile!!

If you love, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy/paste this into your profile!

If you love animals, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you love walking around in the pouring rain without an umbrella, copy this to your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do copy this in your profile

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.

If you should be doing your homework wright now, instead of being on fanfiction, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

Paste this in your profile if you're a procrastination addict. (Or do it later.)

97% of teens would cry if they saw Robert Pattinson (Edward Cullen from twilight) standing on top of a sky scraper, about to jump. If youre one of the 3% that would sit there eating popcorn screaming 'DO A FLIP YOU SPARKLY DIMWIT!' then copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you forgot your phone number when some one asks for it copy/paste this into your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

If people think you are mentally insane...copy/paste this onto your profile. If they are right... copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this onto your profile

If you have a tendency to talk/sing to yourself, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you weird, copy this onto your profile.

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientists' likings. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!!

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you think that the PJO series is the best series ever paste this to your profile.

If you absolutely CANNOT live without one or all of these books series (Harry Potter, Percy Jackson and the Olympians), copy and paste this into your profile!

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and past this into your profile. (Why would a computer want to get an account on FanFiction?)

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy this onto it to make it even longer.

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile.

If you ever wondered who made up all of the 'copy this into your profile' things then copy this into your profile.

Profile your into this paste and copy ,retard a like beginning the from this read actually you if. Now Read It Backwards.

If you have ever had a crazy laughing fit for no reason what-so-ever, copy this onto your profile

If you have annoying younger and/or older siblings, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you hate child abuse and want it to STOP, copy this onto your profile.

!eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy this onto your profile.

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever talked to yourself, copy this onto your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

IMPORTANT- Teenage girls who are NOT in love with Edward Cullen/ Robert Pattison are fast becoming an endangered species. If you are part of this endangered species, copy and paste this in your profile. Quick, we need sponsors! :D:D:D:D:D

If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you ever sang the "I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves" song copy this into your profile!

If you ever were told to go somewhere and you forgot why and you had to go back to find out copy this into your profile!

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you dont remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this onto your profile.

If you love to copy/paste things, copy this onto your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this onto your profile.

If you are one of the people who are in the 'weird' group and dont follow/go along with/ even like the 'it' girls, copy this onto your profile.

30 percent of kids go to college. 70 percent either drop-out/ don't have the proper skills. If you're one of the 30 percent and you know that you're going to college, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think being unique is better than being cool, copy/paste this to your profile.

If you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it.

If you have ever wondered why the heck Canadians and Americans have to spell 'colour' differently, and use different units of measurement, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever wondered why the heck fanfiction doesn't have colour for profiles, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep), Alleyanna Cullen,hugz.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6 (hoo yeah), GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, The Friendly Chupacabra, Shorty and KG Inc.(:D), AVirgoGirl, xcheergrlx3, Mrs.DiAngelo, Percabethrox17, Nico's Future Wife, DaughterofPoseidon32498, Annabeth Supporter, awesomexxxadrienne CarriieBerriie CoolWater123, deathoughtkid

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh, when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb war with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

I dislike cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes horrible. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! Cherry Pie! If you're random and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you think that people on commercials talk funny or use phrases no human beings would ever say, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile.

If you:

love to read and act crazy,

laugh and have fun,

ignore people who call you names or think you are less than them,

are always there to help your friend in their greatest time of need,

run bare foot through the grass just for the joy of the sea of cold green that tickles you feet,

spend as much time outside as you do reading or on the computer,

are a night owl who hardly sleeps,

act weird and crazy just to scare other people or make them laugh with you,

then we would be great friends. :) Copy and paste this in your profile if this is you.

Serveral very interesting quotes... and other...


“And what in the name of Merlin’s most baggy Y Fronts was that about?" -Ronald Weasley

"For future reference, Harry, it is raspberry...although of course, if I were a Death Eater, I would have been sure to research my own jam preferences before impersonating myself." -Albus Dumbledore

Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over. -- Unknown Source

"...from now on, I don't care if my tea leaves spell 'die, Ron, die,' I'm chucking them in the bin where they belong." -Ron Weasley

"Beep...Beep...Beep..." -Sputnik

"We tried to shut him in a pyramid, but Mum spotted us." -George Weasley

"You don't want to bottle your anger up like that, Harry, let it all out," said Fred Weasley, beaming. "There might be a couple people fifty miles away who didn't hear you."

Tell the truth and run. -- Unknown Source

"Hey, look - Harry's got a Weasley sweater, too!" Fred and George were wearing blue sweaters, one with a large yellow 'F' on it, the other a 'G.'
"Harry's is better than ours, though," said Fred, holding up Harry's sweater. "She obviously makes more of an effort if you're not family."
"Why aren't you wearing yours, Ron?" George demanded. "Come on, get it on, they're lovely and warm."
"I hate maroon," Ron moaned half-heartedly as he pulled it over his head.
"You haven't got a letter on yours," George observed. "I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid - we know we're called Gred and Forge." --Fred and George Weasley

I live in my own little world. But it's okay--they know me there. -- Unknown Source

"It would've been so easy to push Malfoy off a glacier and make it look like an accident.." -Ron Weasley

"Harry!" said Fred, elbowing Percy out of the way and bowing deeply. "Simply splendid to see you, old boy--"
"Marvelous," said George, pushing Fred aside and seizing Harry's hand in turn. "Absolutely spiffing."
Percy scowled.
"That's enough, now," said Mrs. Weasley.
"Mum!" said Fred as though he'd only just spotted her and seizing her hand too. "How really corking to see you-" --Fred and George Weasley

No I won't go to hell! They have a restraining order against me. -- Unknown Source

"I know everything, as I continue to remind you." -Fang

"I love Nudge, I really do. But that motor mouth of her's could have turned mother Theresa into an Axe murderer" - Max from Maximum Ride

"Yes! Freaks RULE!" Fang

"Fang! This is a huge break! Of course we should go check it out!"
"But we're grounded."
Max and Fang stare at each other for a second and burst out laughing Max and Fang

"I look like prep school Barbie." Nudge looked at me. "Actually, you look like prep school Barbie. I'm just Barbie's friend." Nudge

"Captain, like the captain of a ship. And then Terror, you know, T-E-R-O-R." Gasman

"You...are...a...fridge...with wings. We're...freaking...ballet...dancers." Fang

"Holy (insert swear word of your choice here)" -Fang

"Fang, Fang, Fang. I love you. I love you sooo much."
"Oh, jeez." Max and Fang

"Pick a tree. I'll go carve our initials in it." Fnick

"Because all you mad, evil scientists sit around whipping up batches of Pillsbury's finest during your coffee breaks." Max

"I'll grab a zebra; Gaz, you fill all the bubbles with your trademark scent so people are choking and gagging; and let's throw beef jerky in their eyes! Now, that's a plan!" -Iggy

"Well, I have a highly developed sense of irony." Iggy

"Fang? Are you - like Max?"
"Nope. I'm the smart one." Dr. Martinez and Fang

"Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica." Fang

"Oh yeah, 'cause Fang is all about the wordy sharing of feelings." Max

"'Iggy, this is not a democracy," I said, understanding his fear but not being able to do anything about it. "It's a Maxocracy.'"-From Max Ride: The Angel Experiment

"Those wacky Brits called fries 'chips'. And potato chips were 'crisps'. And cookies were 'biscuits'. I had no idea what real biscuits were called. Wangdoodles?" Max-MR-StWaOES

You're jealous because the voices only talk to me. -- Unknown Source

"I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahs!" -Gazzy-STWAOES

"Have you guys been playing in the toxic waste again? Been bitten by a radioactive spider? Struck by lightning? Drink a super-soldier serum?" -Fang-FW

"Your middle name is 'Charging Off.'" -Total

"You're a prefect? Oh Ronnie! That's everyone in the family!" [Molly Weasley]
"What are Fred and I? Next door neighbours?" --George Weasley

"Fear of a name increases fear of a thing itself." -Albus Dumbledore

"To the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure." -Albus Dumbledore

"Did I tell you I've invented a broomstick that'll reach Jupiter?" -Ron Weasley

"Humans have a knack for choosing precisely the things that are worst for them." -Albus Dumbledore

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." -Albus Dumbledore

"Alas! Ear wax!" -Albus Dumbledore

I want to be remembered as the girl who smiles even though her heart is broken, and the one who can always brighten up your day even if she couldn't brighten her own. -- Unknown Source

I believe I am in Hell, therefore I am. -- Arthur Rimbaud

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."-Juliet

"You hit the Lord of the Titans in the eye with a blue plastic hairbrush." - Percy Jackson

"Go chase a donut!" - Percy Jackson

"I've got two Neptunes here," said Harry after a while, frowning down on his parchment, "that can't be right, can it?"
"Aaaah," said Ron, imitating Professor Trelawney's mysical whisper, "when two Neptunes appear in the sky, it is a sure sign that a midget in glasses is being born, Harry..." -Ron Weasley

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
Bill Cosby

"Ron, we're supposed to show the first-years where to go!"
"Oh, yeah," said Ron, who had obviously forgotten. "Hey-hey you lot! Midgets!"
"Well, they are, they're twitchy..." -Ron Weasley

A man who won't die for something is not fit to live. -Martin Luther King Jn

Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it.
W. Somerset Maugham

All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.
Walt Disney

Fiction reveals truths that reality obscures.
Jessamyn West

"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.."(G.B.S.)

"God doesn't make the world the way it is. We do"-Rorschach, Watchmen

"If there's a book you really want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it." -Toni Morrison

"Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot." -Anonymous

"God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman." - Adela Rodgers St. Johns

"With great power comes great need to take a nap." -Nico DiAngelo

Life is not measured by the breaths were take, but the moments that take out breath away. -- Unknown Source

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought of half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. -- Unknown Source

I'm not always a dork, sometimes I'm asleep. -- Unknown Source

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. -- Unknown Source

Find peace with yourself by accepting not only who you are, but what you are never going to be. -- Unknown source

A kiss may ruin a human life. -- Oscar Wilde

The kiss originated when the first male reptile licked the first female reptile, implying in a subtle, complimentary way that she was as succulent as the small reptile he had for dinner the night before. -- Source Unknown

Be slow in choosing a friend, but slower in changing him. -- Scottish Proverb

Man is immortal; therefore he must die endlessly. For life is a creative idea; it can only find itself in changing forms. -- Rabindranath Tagore

People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history. -- Dan Quayle

"Show me a girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a girl who can't put her pants on" - Annik Marchand

We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads. -- Vlade Divac, Basketball player

Most lies about blondes are false. -- Headline

I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy! -Dory from 'Finding Nemo'

Good looking people turn me off. Myself included. -- Patrick Swayze, Actor

Destiny is no matter. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be a achieved.-William Jennings Bryan

"You don't write because you want to say something. You write because you have something to say" --F. Scott Fitzgerald

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself" --Franklin Delano Roosevelt

"Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone; you are the one who gets burned." --Buddha

"Things do not change; we change" --Thoreau

"Acting is the art of persuasion: the actor persuedes himself, first, and through himself, the audience." --Laurence Oliver

"All the world's a stage" --William Shakespeare

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.” -Kurt Vonnegut

"Laughter is Timeless, Imagination has no age, and dreams are forever" - Walt Disney


"Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure."

Never give up on something you can’t go a day without thinking about.

'Let's eat Grandma' or 'Let's eat, Grandma'- Punctuation saves lives.

What's meant to be will always find a way!!

Don't count the days, make the days count.

"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."

Live every day of your life to the fullest.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass it's about learning to dance in the rain."

Don't let anyone put you down.

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.

"The people who deserve to live the most, die too soon…"

Live as if you were to die tommorow, learn as if you were to live forever.

Being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It means you’ve decided to see beyond the imperfections.

"Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you."

You call me a B well a B is a female dog. A dog barks. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment :p

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

When I'm angry, I shout at the top of my voice. When I'm hurt, I stay silent.

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world.

Someday someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked with anyone else.

Life is a journey, not a destination. Sit back and enjoy the ride.

"Love can't give you joy and happiness until you let it."

When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.

Sticks and stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within.

Sometimes people run away just to see if anyone cares enough to follow.

Its not until you're broken that you know what you're made of.

Be yourself because there is no one like you.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves.

Friends will always be like "Well, you deserve better!" but best friends will prank call him saying "You will die in seven days!"

Expect the unexpected.

Smile even through tears.

Never live for the past ALWAYS live for the future.

Never live with regrets.

A friend will comfort you when he rejects you, but a best friend will go up to him and say "Its because your gay isn't it?"

“Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down"

A lean silent figure slowly fades into the gathering darkness, aware at last that in this world, With great power there must also come great responsibility.

Ponder This:

Is there another word for synonym?

Before the light bulb was invented, what appeared over peoples heads when they had an idea?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

If the front of your car says 'DODGE', do you really need a horn?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?

Donald Duck never wears pants, but why does he wraps a towel around his waist when he gets out of the shower?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Doctors say TV is bad for us, but why is there a TV in every hospital room?

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards as it is forwards?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

If a black box in a plane is indestructible, why can't they make the whole plane out of it?

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Why is it so hard to remember how to spell 'mnemonic'?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the heck would I keep looking after I found it?

Why is dyslexic so hard to spell?

Why is verb a noun?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

Whose cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we're already there?

Why is it called after dark when really it's after light?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

You can't have everything, where would you put it?

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

So what's the speed of dark?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?

How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?

Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias

Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?

Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman numerals?


Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."

"This is Bob. Bob likes you. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob."

"Here is all you need to know about men and women. Men are dumb and women are crazy. And the reason women are crazy is because men are dumb."

"Oh? Rock beats paper? Okay, you try defending yourself with paper when I throw a rock at you."

Just remember- if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

"If you can't convince them, confuse them."

"Isn’t it funny how the word ‘politics’ is made up of the words ‘poli’ meaning ‘many’ in Latin, and ‘tics’ as in ‘bloodsucking creatures’?"

"Why isn’t chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?"

If the left side of your brain controls the right side of your body, then only left handed people are in their right mind. Explains a lot.

"Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot."

"I did what they say and chose the road less traveled...Now where the heck am I?"

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Never argue with a 90 degree angle. It’s always right.

School taught me a valuable lesson. I’m still paying for it.

Technically, we’re all under the weather.

10 out of 10 people agree that we all agree.

If your pants are on fire, being a liar becomes less important.

Rock is dead and paper killed it

The art of conversation is, like, kinda dead and stuff.

Procrastinators: leaders of tomorrow.

When you think about it, all galaxies are far, far away.

My friends aren’t imaginary. Just invisible and shy.

Allow me to explain through interpretative dance.

I like to think outside of the quadrilateral parallelogram.

My career as a psychic ended due to unforseen circumstances.

The definition of suspense is…

Nostalgia was better in the old days.

If rainbows are so cheerful, why are they always frowning?

A hug is my favorite adhesive.

Life is like a box of terrible analogies.

I shower naked.

I feel all warm and fuzzy inside, like I just swallowed a kitten.

You can’t spell random without Tangerine Swordfish Disco Car.

I’m not bitter, I’m just unsweetened.

Sleep is so last night.

Being vague is almost as fun as doing this other thing.

Magic is just stuff scientists haven’t made boring yet.

To err is human. To arr is pirate.

Movies. Ruining books since 1920.

Ninja’s and Pirates agree: Cowboys stink.

Death. Our nations no.1 Killer.

What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

I can resist anything but temptation.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

Who ever said that words never hurt obviously has never got hit by a dictionary.

I wish my memories came with play, pause, stop and delete buttons.

Don't hate yourself in the morning...sleep till noon.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit!

A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.

Sarcasm is one more service we offer.

Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

'I write for the same reason I breathe; if I didn't I would die'.

It's ok to argue with two characters on your shoulders.

Writing isn't a career; it's more of a mental illness.

Anything thrown hard enough should hurt.

All people have the right to stupidity but some people abuse the privilege.

If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile.

When I was born, I was so shocked that I didn't talk for a year and a half.

Where there's a will...I want to be in it.

Do not disturb, I'm disturbed already.

A clean house is a sign of a broken computer!

Do not walk behind me for I may not lead, do not walk in front of me for I may not follow, do not walk beside me either. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death, which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy?

Don't piss me off, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

For people who like peace and quiet: Get me a CORDLESS PHONE!

I don't get even, I get odder.

If being an idiot hurt, then you would be in constant pain.

In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.

I will temporarily rule the world, forever.

lottery: a tax on people who don’t understand statistics.

If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.

Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.

The problem with reality is a lack of background music.

I laugh in the face of death...maybe not laugh more like a snicker...a quiet snicker, and I wouldn't do it directly in death's face so, it's more like a quiet snicker behind death's back.

I know at least three people who would love to push me down the stairs.

I'm the girl that when my feet touch the ground in the morning the devil says; "OH CRAP SHE'S UP!"

I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly.

'You know what! Earth sucks, I’m going home.'

Curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought him back, but stupidity killed him again.

Flying is simple; you just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

'Define normal.'

There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.

I'm not as dumb as you look.

Never knock on Death’s door. Ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.

"Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!
Welcome to the dark side. Are you surprised that we lied about the cookies?
Come to the light side. We have ICE CREAM!
Welcome to the light side. Heh, sorry, we're out of ice cream."

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?

Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Person #2: Too bad the world is round

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

I don't want to rain on your parade, I just want to blow up all the floats!

I ran with scissors, and lived!

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important; school however, is another matter.

I am on the seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.

High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us.

When I was younger, I hated going to weddings cause all the grandmothers would say, "Your next!" That quickly ended when I started saying that to them at funerals.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Sometimes I wonder "why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.

"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

Before you criticize you should walk a mile in their shoes. that way. when you criticize them you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it annoys enough people to make it worth it!

I didn't trip. I was just testing gravity... It still works.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

When nothing goes right... go left.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

Silence is golden but duck tape is silver.

Reality is for people who lack imagination.

They say "guns don’t kill people, people kill people.' Well, I think the gun helps, because if you just stood there and yelled BANG I don’t think you'd kill too many people.

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

One day we're going to look back on this, laugh nervously and then change the subject.

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.

The next sentence is true. The previous sentence is false.

There are 3 kinds of people in this world, those who can do math and those who can't.

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday.

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking.

You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it.

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

Dear hair,

I'll stop burning you, drowning you, and pulling you, if you automatically look gorgeous everyday.

Sincerely fed up girls.

When in doubt, push random buttons!

Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter.

You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft!

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them.

Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry. They tease and irritate each other, knock each other down, but can't live without each other.

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.

When someone looks at your baby pictures and jokingly says "Aweh, you were so cute! What happened?". Bitch I got sexy, that's what happened.

2 out of 3 people understand fractions.

Do unto others before they do unto you.

Nothing is illegal until you get caught.

I'm not afraid of death...I just don't want to be there when it happens.

An apple a day keeps the Doctor away...if you can throw it hard enough.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

Dear Homework, you are unattractive; therefore, I cannot do you.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ...

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, the rest of our lives they tell us to just sit down and shut up.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

When your in jail a friend will bail you out, but a best friend will be sitting right next to you saying "damn that was fun!"

One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!

"And in the darkest night, if my memory serves me right, i'll never turn back time, forgetting you but not the time"

Boys are like trees, they take 50 years to grow up.

A person is a person no matter how small.

'The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so she can tell when she's really in trouble.

Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.

I don't have an attitude; I have a personality you can't handle.

I said what I meant and meant what I said. (An elephant's faithfull 100%)

My mind is like a parachute it works best open!!

I have a switch in my apartment that doesn't do anything. Every once in a while I turn it on and off. On and off. On and off. The other day I got a call from a woman in France saying "Cut it out!"

The other day I ...uh, no, that wasn't me...

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

If it doesn't fit, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacement anyway.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

I won't get the joke today. But don't worry. Tomorrow it will be funny.

Smile... it makes people wonder what you're up to.

A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.

I don't know what your problem is but I bet it's hard to pronounce.

Insane people never know that they're insane. It's the sane ones you have to worry about. Because they know they're insane. And they know how to use it.

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I'm saying.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

I am a bomb technician... if you see me running try to keep up

When life give you lemons, keep them, because hey, free lemons.

I know Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words.

At last! My plans for world domination are complete! MUAHAHAHAA? Oh look, shiny!:D

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit just a little bit harder.

Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you!

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

An oral contract isn't worth the paper its written on.

If we do not succeed, we run the risk of failure.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous!

Always Avoid Alliteration.

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

One should never generalize.

Avoid clichés like the plague.

Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake

When life gives you lemons:

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

When life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eyes.

When life gives you lemons, make Kool-aide and let the world wonder how you did it.

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and tell life to make its own damn lemonade!!!

When life gives you lemons, throw them back at the jerk who gave 'em to ya and demand chocolate.

When life gives you lemons, ask for sugar and call me over.

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

When life gives you lemons, make orange juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and ask your friend to try some!

When life gives you lemons, turn around and look for your best friend cause they're the one that gave them to you, hoping to prank you into trying to make grape juice.

When life gives you lemons, start a food fight and make Life regret it.

When life gives you lemons, squeeze them out in front of the restroom door.

When life gives you lemons, mutilate them!

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand oranges.

When life gives you lemons, throw them back at life and steal the oranges you asked for!

When life gives you lemons, throw them at someone.

When life give you lemons, keep them, because hey, free lemons.

When life gives you lemons, make beef stew.

When life gives you lemons, say "What else have you got?"; you might get something else.

When life gives you lemons, make Shirley Temples, and make everyone else wonder how.

When life gives Edward lemons, he throws them AT MIKE.

When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in people’s eyes.

When life gives you lemons, just read my profile. There are a bunch of options on what to do next.

This is dedicated to all those awkward moments.

That awkward moment when you trip over. . . air.

That awkward moment when you realize that bacon is the main reason why you are not a vegetarian.

That awkward moment when your crush asks you who you like.

That awkward moment when someone shows up in your dream and you can barely look them in the eye the next day.

That awkward moment when someone you're not very close with is crying and you awkwardly look around, not knowing what to do.

That awkward moment when you realize that you're more than a little obsessed with a book series about six flying kids and their flying, talking dog.

That awkward moment when you walk into the wrong classroom and everyone stares.

That awkward moment when you dance ballet on pointe and you scream bloody murder when one of your friends steps on your toes.

That awkward moment when you're talking to your friend about someone in the hallway, then realize the person is walking behind you.

That awkward moment when you miss the bus and get to the bus stop, and turn around and walk home like an idiot.

That awkward moment when someone asks you for gum and you have gum but don't want to give it to them.

That awkward moment when no one understands what you're trying to say so you give up.

That awkward moment when you get shoved into the ballet barre by accident and think you broke your ribs.

That awkward moment when you and your friends attempt the coffee grinder and fall on your butts.

That awkward moment when you meow at a cat until they meow back.

That awkward moment when you wear skinny jeans because it was cold this morning, but like 100 degrees after school.

That awkward moment when you tap yourself in the face with a pen, not realizing you forgot to put the cap on.

That awkward moment when you see your teacher in public and try to hide.

That awkward moment when someone mixes up 'your' and 'you're' and you flip out.

That awkward moment when you glue fake nails onto your real nails over the weekend, and regret it when you realize you have flute lessons on Monday.

That awkward moment when you have to pee while watching your favorite show but can't tear yourself away.

That awkward moment when Matt Dillon was much hotter when he was younger.

That awkward moment when you see someone waving to you and wave back, only to realize they're waving at someone behind you.

That awkward moment when you have to sit next to a guy in health while watching a really sexual video.

That awkward moment when you accidentally over-spend on iTunes and only realize when your angry parents leave the bill on your bed.

That awkward moment when people are planning their future weddings, and you're busy planning the names of your future 72 cats.

That awkward moment when your friend asks you to go with them to the bathroom and it's silent and you awkwardly hear them pee.

That awkward moment when your dog follows you around the house for the sole purpose of chewing on your Snuggie as it drags behind you.

That awkward moment when you realized you put something on inside out after your friend points it out to you at the END of the day and you realize you've been looking stupid all day.

That awkward moment when you walk into the dressing room at Victoria's Secret and STRIP is plastered on the mirror in neon pink letters and suddenly you don't want to try it on anymore.

That awkward moment when you see an old lady checking out the thongs at Victoria's Secret.

That awkward moment when you ask everyone around you to borrow a pencil, and no one has one for you.

That awkward moment when you're watching a movie and a sexual scene comes on right when your parents walk in.

That awkward moment when everyone's New Year's resolution is to drop weight or something, and yours is to not miss a single episode of Pretty Little Liars this season.

That awkward moment when you see someone staring at you, and turn away, but when you look back five minutes later they're still staring.

That awkward moment when you realize that you've promised to room with five different people for the band trip to Hershey Park.

That awkward moment when you put your hair up and there's ONE tiny flaw but you're bent on utter perfection and do it over again.

That awkward moment when someone's telling you a story and you realize, halfway through, how little you care

If you dress nicely...

If you dress nicely, he says you're a snob. If you dress sexy, he says you're a slut. If you argue with him, he says you're stubborn. If you're quiet, he says you're stupid. If you call him, he says you're needy and clingy. If he calls you, he says you should be grateful. If you don't love him, he'll try to win you. If you love him, he'll leave you. If you don't f* him, he'll say you don't love him. If you do, he'll say you're easy. If you tell him your problems, he'll say you're irritating. If you don't , he'll say you don't trust him. If you lecture him, he'll say you're b*chy. If he lectures you, it's because he "cares". If you break a promise, you can't be trusted. If he breaks it, he had to. If you cheat, he'll expect it to be over. If he cheats, he expects to be given another chance either way.

You Know You Are Still Living In 2009 When...

1. You enter your password into your microwave

2. You haven’t played real solitaire in years

3. You would rather look all over the house for the remote than press the power button on the TV

4. Your evening activity is sitting at your computer

6. As you read this you think of sending this to all your friends

7. As you read this you keep nodding and smiling

8. You were to busy to notice number 5

9. You actually looked back up to see if there even was a number 5

10. Now your laughing at your own stupidity

11. Now you will post this on your profile because you fell for it!

The Six Truths of Life

1. You can't lick all of your teeth with your tongue.

2. You just tried to do the above.

3. The first truth is a lie.

4. You're smiling now because you're realizing you're an idiot.

5. You'll copy this into your profile for some other sucker to read it.

6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.

9 Things I Hate About Everyone:

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours?

2. People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". yeah right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it?! Do people do this? Who and where are they? !

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the fricken floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What the heck can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?!?

Twilight VS Harry Potter

You say Twilight
I say Harry Potter
You say vampires
I say wizards
You say Jacob Black
I say Sirius Black
you say Team Edward
I say Team Potter
You say Robert Pattison
I'll say "is Cedric Diggory"
You say Robert Pattison is hot
I say Rupert Grint is HOTTER
You think Bella and Edward are the perfect dream couple?
I think that’s Ron and Hermione
you say Edward
I'll say Harry, now STUPEFY

Chuck Norris Facts: Percabeth Style

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Percabethtatorship.

There are no steroids in baseball. Just the power of Percabeth.

A picture is worth a thousand words. A Percabeth moment is worth 1 billion words.

When taking the SAT, write "Percabeth" for every answer. You will score over 8000.

Rick Riordan once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 100 chance of Percabeth.

If at first you don't succeed, you're not a Percabeth shipper.

As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And pairings that go against Percabeth."

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Percabeth.

He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Percabeth never dies.

To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Percabeth.

All roads lead to Percabeth. And by the transitive property, total awesomeness.

There’s an order to the universe: space, time, Percabeth... Just kidding, Percabeth is first.

There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Percabeth shippers.

Only Percabeth can prevent forest fires.

Contrary to common knowledge, the answer is not 42, its Percabeth.

The pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by a Percabeth shipper

Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...a Percabeth shipper."

He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Percabeth … dies.

People have often asked the United States, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply...Percabeth.

The active ingredient in Red Bull is Percabeth juice.

Some people say that Percabeth is a myth. Those "some people" are now dead.

Pick up lines:

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone.

Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

Man: I'd go through anything for you.
Woman: Good! Let's start with your bank account.

Man: So, wanna go back to my place ?
Woman: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

Man: Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason
Woman: Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

Man: Haven't we met before?
Woman: Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper.

Did you fart? Because you just blew me away.

You must be in a wrong place - the Miss Universe contest is over there.

Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?

I may not be a genie but I can make your dreams come true.

Are you a magnet? ‘Cause I’m attracted to you.

If you were my sister, incest would be cool.

I wish you were DSL so I could get high-speed access.

I know it’s not Christmas, but Santa's lap is always ready.

Baby you’re like a student and I am like a math book, you solve all my problems.

Your body is a wonderland and I want to be Alice.

If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.

Life without you would be like a broken pencil...pointless.

Male: Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa just what I want for Christmas.
Female:Well, if you really want it, there are surgeries you could get...

Do you have the time? (she gives you the time) No, the time to write my number down .

Let's make like a fabric softener and snuggle.

If LOVE was written on every grain of sand in the Sahara Desert that still doesn't equal my love for you.

Would you sleep with a stranger? [No] Then, Hi, my name is...

Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?

Rearrange the Letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:


When you rearrange the letters:

Calling me fake...

"Calling me FAKE won't make you REAL,

Calling me STUPID won't make you SMART,

Calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG,

Calling me UGLY won't make you PRETTY,

Calling me POOR won't make you RICH,

Calling me FAT wont make you THIN,

Calling me UNCOOL wont make you COOL,

So why bother?

I'm an Atheist. If you hate me for it, read this:

An Atheist loves his fellow man instead of god.
An Atheist believes that heaven is something for which we should work now – here on earth for all men together to enjoy.
An Atheist believes that he can get no help through prayer but that he must find in himself the inner conviction, and strength to meet life, to grapple with it, to subdue it and enjoy it.
An Atheist believes that only in a knowledge of himself and a knowledge of his fellow man can he find the understanding that will help to a life of fulfillment.
He seeks to know himself and his fellow man rather than to know a god.
An Atheist believes that a hospital should be built instead of a church.
An Atheist believes that a deed must be done instead of a prayer said.
An Atheist strives for involvement in life and not escape into death.
He wants disease conquered, poverty vanquished, war eliminated.
He wants man to understand and love man.
He wants an ethical way of life.
He believes that we cannot rely on a god or channel action into prayer nor hope for an end of troubles in a hereafter.
He believes that we are our brother's keepers; and are keepers of our own lives; that we are responsible persons and the job is here and the time is now.

WELCOME : to the very serious part of my profile

Stereotypes: (sorry for repeated lines, I copy/pasted three together)

I am “POPULAR”, so I MUST be a rude stuck up brat
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST think I'm always right.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I'm SOUTHERN so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be conceited.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecker.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be irresponsible.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRL FRIENDS, so I MUST be dating them all.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST be conceited.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly and crazy.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH, so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm KINDA OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST hate anyone who isn't.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I don't SPEND TIME IN THE SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I TELL PEOPLE OFF, so I MUST be controlling.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I read COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am BIG FAN OF SOMETHING so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE. (Who LIKES blood? Really?)
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT, so I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.
I FARM AND RIDE HORSES so I MUST be an illiterate hillbilly.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a perfectionist.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG, so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I'm Black so I MUST be in the ghetto
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake.
I listen to COUNTRY MUSIC so I MUST be a hick.
I'm AUTISTIC, so I MUST be mean and have no self control
I get STRAIGHT A’S, so I MUST be a weird
I'm a "NERD", so I MUST have mental issues.
I'm WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshiping baby killer
I SUCK MY OWN BLOOD FROM WOUNDS, so I MUST have a vampire fetish
I'm a GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I'm a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone's butt
I'm a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I'm FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual
I'm a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I'm a TREE HUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I'm INTO JIMMY HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs
I'm a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd or suck-up
I have GREEN SKIN, so I MUST be a wicked witch (that or an alien...)
I'm an ACTOR/ACTRESS, so I MUST be mean
I haven't EVER HAD A BOYFRIEND, so I MUST be a unromantic
I'm THIN, so I MUST have an eating disorder
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz
I'm a BRUNETTE, so I MUST be a smart-aleck
I HAVE A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be dating them all
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math
I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare
I'm PUNK, so I MUST slit my wrists
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be an alcoholic
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a with a jock boyfriend
I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy
I'm a METHODIST, so I MUST be lazy not caring person
I LOVE RENT, so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hear crazy God voices in my head
I'm AMERICAN, so I MUST be an overweight pig with no boundaries
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST suck at all guy sports
I like CATS, so I MUST dance like a cat in my spare time
I LOVE MY FRIENDS, so I MUST be giving them something
I'm SUSPICIOUS, so I MUST be an arrogant jerk
I SPEAK GERMAN, so I MUST be a psycho Nazi
I'm IN BAND, so I MUST be a geek
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST be rebellious
I have ADHD/ADD, so I MUST be a crazy-chick that you can't control.
I'm a DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible
I'm a REPUBLICAN, so I MUST support everything that Bush does
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay
I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid and stuck up
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ALWAYS SMILING AND LAUGHING, so I MUST have a great life
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention
I'm SHORT, so I MUST compensate with something else
I HANG OUT WITH GAYS, so I MUST be gay too
I'm IMPULSIVE, so I MUST be an idiot.
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be dumb.
I'm WHITE, so I MUST be prejudiced.
I WRITE, so I MUST be a loner.
I'm QUIET AND SHY, so I MUST be stuck-up.
I'm AWKWARD AROUND THE OPPOSITE SEX, so I MUST be a pimple-faced teen.
I'm FORGETFUL, so I MUST be doing it on purpose.
I sometimes SAY STUPID THINGS, so I MUST be stupid.
I'm TALL, so I MUST be good at basketball and volleyball.
I'm a GYMNAST, so I MUST be a wanna-be cheerleader.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST be hilarious.
I don't HAVE ANY FRIENDS, so I MUST be autistic
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell. (not all Christians hate gays you know)
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST be a WHORE with a BIG BUTT (Have you seen some puertoricans? They can be tiny and skinny, you know)
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I’m HOMESCHOOLED so I MUST be a SOCIAL REJECT with no friends, or a SPELLING BEE winner.
I'm CANADAIAN so I MUST live in igloos, ride dog sleds everywhere, love maple syrup,say "eh?"at the end of each sentence and drink Tims Horton's 24/7

Stop stereotypes! Copy this into your profile.


The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK,
When I grew up I was BLACK,
When I'm sick I'm BLACK,
When I go in the sun I'm BLACK,
When I'm cold I'm BLACK,
When I die I'll be BLACK.
But you sir, When you're born you're PINK,
When you grow up you're WHITE,
When you're sick, you're GREEN,
When you go in the sun you turn RED,
When you're cold you turn BLUE,
And when you die you turn PURPLE.
And you have the nerve to call me colored?"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
(Post this on your profile if you hate racism.)

Don't Drink and Drive

I went to a party,
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom
So I had a Sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
That I didn't drink and drive,
Though some friends said I should.

I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right,
The party finally ended,
And the kids drove out of sight

I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece,
I never knew what was coming,
Mom Something I expected least.

Now I'm lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
The kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mom, his voice seems far away.

My own blood's all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
This girl is going to die.

I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high,
Because he chose to drink and drive,
Now I would have to die.

So why do people do it, Mom
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
Like a hundred stabbing knives.

Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom
Tell daddy to be brave,
And when I go to heaven,
Put Daddy's Girl on my grave.

Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom
I'm getting really scared.
These are my final moments,
And I'm so unprepared.

I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die

The story of Kazu:

Hi, my name is Kazu.
I like Writing and I like Athletics.
I am running down the road
I suddenly tripped over.
I come home with a scatch on my knee.
My mummy begins to worry.
I tell her I am fine.
She sighs and says ok.
I am at school.
When suddenly I fall and hit a tree.
I am sent to the sickbay.
Then I am sent home.
Mummy takes me to the doctors.
The doctors tell mummy something.
Mummy starts to cry.
I tell her it's ok.
I'm not going to die.
She tells me I am starting.
Starting to be slower.
I don't know what it means.
But I have become sick.
I tell mummy it's ok.
I will become better.
Mummy starts to cry.
Do I have cancer?
Mummy says no.
Then what do I suppose.
As a year had past.
I struggle to walk.
My speech is getting slower.
It's hard for me to talk.
My friends like to help me.
My classmates like to run.
But I have to sit down.
And watch them have fun.
Then one day my teacher.
Comes to see mummy.
Daddy comes out.
And starts to get all snotty.
The teacher tells my parents.
I can no longer go to school.
My motion is too slow.
I ask the teacher slowly.
I am sorry I am useless.
I start to cry and beg her.
I want to go to school.
The teacher gives a smile.
And tells me she is sorry.
The school can't really help me.
The words were so cruel.
The day I had to leave.
My friends and classmates cried.
The boys upon the windows.
Wave to me goodbye.
I smile and sit in the car.
I am taken to a school.
A school with special people.
Just like me and you.
I start to have some fun.
I made a lot of friends.
As many years passed again.
I talk too slow to understand.
I cannot run anymore.
And I struggle to even stand.
I cannot write in my diary.
My motion is too slow.
Then one day I am sent.
To the hospital again.
Now many years have passed.
I lie in a warm bed.
I cannot move my body.
I cannot move again.
I talk very slowly.
I cannot move my head.
My mummy sits there crying.
My daddy looks depressed.
I ask my mummy sadly.
Am I going to die.
My mother holds my hand.
Yells and starts to cry.
A few more years later.
I have to shut my eyes.
I cannot talk or move.
I seem to have died.
Copy and Paste this story about Kazu who was diagnosed with a rare uncurable disease, Spinocerebellar Degeneration, in your profile. This disease causes a failure of muscle control in their arms and legs, resulting in a lack of balance and coordination or a disturbance of gait. Support and send the message worldwide.




I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

Re-post this if you believe Homophobia is wrong.

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that
hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy
behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has
legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed
at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites,
and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were
allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun
marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay
couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to
marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs
more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight
parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like
ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country.
That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model
at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents
to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could
never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to
cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

If she's AMAZING, she won't be EASY. If she's EASY, she won't be AMAZING. If she's WORTH IT, you won't GIVE UP. If you GIVE UP, you're not WORTHY. Figure it out guys.

How Girls Flirt!

1 She makes eye contact and smiles at you.
2. She hits you softly on the arm & laughs when you say something funny.
3. She flips her hair when she's talking to you.
4. She touches your arm when she talks to you.
5. She says, "No, I'm not telling you who I like!" with a big smile on her face.
6. She asks you who you like or who you would go out with seemingly interested.
7. When you go to the movies with a bunch of your friends & she is almost always next to you.
8. She criticizes you on a girl you like.
9. You catch her staring at you.
10. She plays with your hair or tries to put make up on you.
11. Her friends outside of school & in school know about you, &
says she talks about you a lot.
12. She knows your phone number & address.
13. She will try and talk, & spend time with you as much as possible

How Guys Flirt!

1. He stares at you a lot.
2. He hits you a lot. (just play hitting )
3. He uses the first thing that pops into his head to start a conversation with you
4. He yelled, "Hi!", to your mom that day she picked you up from school.
5. He blew off his buds to go see "a chick flick" with you ‘cause you couldn't get another girl pal to go & didn't want to go alone.
6. He tries to make you laugh, even if he gets hurt in the process.
7. His voice gets softer whenever you two talk.
8. You hung up on him. He called you back.
9. You were invited by him to a group outing.
10. He called you to talk about nothing at all.
11. He imitates your laugh. OK, you do snort sometimes. Which makes you laugh even harder...
12. He remembers little things you mention in casual conversation.
13. He sometimes stares straight into your eyes.
14. He uses every possible way to touch you.

Please read-true story (not me)

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check
Again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

HOW COULD YOU? - By Jim Willis, 2001

When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?" -- but then you'd relent and roll me over for a belly rub.

My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love. She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy.

Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love." As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway.

There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog ," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.
Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family, " but there was a time when I was your only family

I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers." You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too. After you left, the 2 nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago & made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads & asked "How could you?"

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you that you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me.

When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days.

As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood. She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?"

Perhaps because she understood my dog speak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself -- a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her . It was directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

A Note from the Author: If "How Could You?" brought tears to your eyes as you read it, as it did to mine as I wrote it, it is because it is the composite story of the millions of formerly "owned" pets who die each year in American & Canadian animal shelters. Please use this to help educate, on your websites, in newsletters, on animal shelter and vet office bulletin boards. Tell the public that the decision to add a pet to the family is an important one for life, that animals deserve our love and sensible care, that finding another appropriate home for your animal is your responsibility and any local humane society or animal welfare league can offer you good advice, and that all life is precious. Please do your part to stop the killing, and encourage all spay & neuter camp aigns in order to prevent unwanted animals.

Please pass this on to everyone, not to hurt them or make them sad, but it could save maybe, even one, unwanted pet.

Remember...They love UNCONDITIONALLY.

Angels are Friends

A drunk man in an Oldsmobile

They said had run the light

That caused the six-car pileup

On 109 that night.

When broken bodies lay about

'And blood was everywhere,'

'The sirens screamed out eulogies,'

For death was in the air.

'A mother, trapped inside her car,'

Was heard above the noise;

Her plaintive plea near split the air:

'Oh, God, please spare my boys!'

She fought to loose her pinned hands;

'She struggled to get free,'

But mangled metal held her fast

In grim captivity.

Her frightened eyes then focused

'On where the back seat once had been,'

But all she saw was broken glass and

Two children's seats crushed in.

Her twins were nowhere to be seen;

'She did not hear them cry, '

'And then she prayed they'd been thrown free, '

'Oh, God, don't let them die! '

Then firemen came and cut her loose,

'But when they searched the back, '

'They found therein no little boys, '

But the seat belts were intact.

They thought the woman had gone mad

'And was traveling alone, '

'But when they turned to question her, '

They discovered she was gone.

Policemen saw her running wild

And screaming above the noise

'In beseeching supplication, '

Please help me find my boys!

They're four years old and wear blue shirts;

'Their jeans are blue to match.''

'One cop spoke up, ''They're in my car, '

And they don't have a scratch.

They said their daddy put them there

'And gave them each a cone, '

Then told them both to wait for Mom

To come and take them home.

'I've searched the area high and low, '

But I can't find their dad.

'He must have fled the scene, '

'I guess, and that is very bad.'

'The mother hugged the twins and said, '

'While wiping at a tear, '

'He could not flee the scene, you see, '

'For he's been dead a year.'

'The cop just looked confused and asked, '

'Now, how can that be true? '

'The boys said, ''Mommy, Daddy came '

'And left a kiss for you.'' '

He told us not to worry

'And that you would be all right, '

And then he put us in this car with

'The pretty, flashing light. '

'We wanted him to stay with us, '

'Because we miss him so, '

'But Mommy, he just hugged us tight '

And said he had to go.

He said someday we'd understand

'And told us not to fuss, '

'And he said to tell you, Mommy, '

'He's watching over us.'

The mother knew without a doubt

'That what they spoke was true, '

'For she recalled their dad's last words, ' ' I will watch over you.'

This message works on the day you receive it.

Let us see if it is true.

ANGELS EXIST but some times, since they don't all have wings, we call them FRIENDS.

Pass this on to your true friends

PLeAsE pUt ThIs in yOu'Re ProFilE:

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in you're heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"

Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care
2) ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)



are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy.So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality they are amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.


When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him
by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to
football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by
jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to
the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch
certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion.
You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp.
You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You
thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him
by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked
him by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus
carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm
so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you
how deep he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You
thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their

And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART.

If you love your dad, post this on your profile.

When you were 5, your mom gave you a ice cream cone. You thank her by yelling at her that it's the wrong kind.

When you were 9, your mom drove you from swimming class to soccer and one birthday party to another. You thanked her by slamming the door and never looking back.

When you were 10, your mom payed for piano classes. You thanked her by never coming to class.

When you were 12, your mom was waiting for a very important call. You thanked her by talking on the phone all night.

When you were 14, your mom payed for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by not bothering to write a single letter.

When you were 16, your mom taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you got.

When you were 17, your mom drove you to the mall and gave you her credit card. You thanked her by maxing it out.

When you were 18, your mom cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by partying until dawn.

When you were 20, your mom drove you to collage. You thanked her by saying good-bye to her outside the drom so you wouldn't have to say bye in front of your friends.

When you were 26, your mom payed for your wedding. You thanked her by moving halfway across the world.

When you were 30, your mom fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents became to children.

Then, one day, she quietly died and everything you did came crashing down on you.

If YOU love your mom, re-post this and if you don't, you won't care if your mom dies, will you?

getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?
when )m 0 m( was your hero
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings
and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do

Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost

Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

Friend: Will help me learn to drive

Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away

Best Friend: Won't let me go away

Friend: Will help me up when I fall down

Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me

Friend: Will bail me out of jail

Best Friend: Will be sitting beside me saying "Dang, we screwed up"

Friend: Will go to a concert with me

Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me

Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs."

Best Friend: Calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad"

Friend: Asks me for my number

Best friend: Asks me for her number

Friend: Hides me from the cops

Best Friend: is probably the reason they’re after me in the first place

Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public

Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

Friend: will offer you a soda

Best Friend: will dump theirs on you.

Friend: will help you move

Best Friend: will help you move the bodies.

Friend: tells you she knows how you feel

Best Friend: Just sits down and cries

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won’t tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you’re not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS:Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already knows not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'its because your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS:Will re-post this crap!

Friends: Fade

Best Friends: Are 4 Ever

You're Special:

1. At least 2 people in the world love you so much they would die for you.

2. At least 15 people in the world love you in some way.

3. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.

4. Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep.

5. You mean the world to someone.

6. If not for you, someone may not be living.

7. You are unique and special.

9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good can still come from it.

10. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.

11. Someone you don't even know exists loves you.

12. Always remembered the complements received. Forget the rude remarks.

13. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know and you will both be happy.

14. If you have a great friend, take some time and let them know how great they are.

If you believe all those statements, copy and paste this to your profile. (I, being me, don't actually believe most of these, since I'm antisocial and plan to become a hermit or crazy cat lady, but it seemed like a nice thing to have on your profile, so here it is.)


Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot;
who calls you back when you hang up on him;
who'll lay under the stars for hours and just listen to your heart beat,
or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy that kisses your forhead;
who keeps your picture in his wallet;
who wants to show you off to the world even when you're in sweatpants;
who holds your hand in front of all his friends;
who thinks you're beautiful without make-up;
one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you...
the one who turns to his friends and says THAT'S HER!

A stranger stabs you in the front
A friend stabs you in the back
A boyfriend stabs your heart
Best Friends only poke each other with straws

What a Boyfriend Should Do:

When she walks away from you mad
Follow her
When she stare's at your mouth
Kiss her
When she pushes you or hit's you
Grab her and dont let go
When she start's cussing at you
Kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong
When she ignore's you
Give her your attention
When she pull's away
Pull her back
When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying
Just hold her and dont say a word
When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared
Protect her
When she lay's her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steal's your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she tease's you
Tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesn't answer for a long time
reassure her that everything is okay
When she look's at you with doubt
Back yourself up
When she say's that she like's you
she really does more than you could understand
When she grab's at your hands
Hold her's and play with her fingers
When she bump's into you
bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tell's you a secret
keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does
When she misses you
she's hurting inside
When you break her heart
the pain never really goes away
When she says its over
she still wants you to be hers
When she reposts this bulletin
she wants you to read it -
Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.-
When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go-
When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her-
because 10 yrs later she'll remember you-
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-
Call her before you sleep and after you wake up-
Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-
Tease her and let her tease you back.-
Stay up all night with her when she's sick.-
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.-
Give her the world.-
Let her wear your clothes.-
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.-
Let her know she's important.-
Kiss her in the pouring rain.-
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's butt am I kicking, Sweet??"
If you post this in the next five minutes the one you love will :
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Text you.
Guys post as: "i'd be this boyfriend."
Girls post as: "A true boyfriend " or " what a boyfriend should do"

Beginnings are scary. Endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most.

At some point I'll finally tell you that i miss you. another awkward moment!


who would move the hair away from my eyes and then kiss me,

hold my handin line at the mall and make all the girls jealous.

Someone who would sing showtunes to me at random moments.

Who would let me sleep on his chest.

A BOY who would get mad at someone if they called me UGLY or were mean to me.

I want someone who would call me 3 times a day if he went away.

He would always admit that I'm right

Someone who would let me gossip to him

and just smile and agree with everything I said.

Someone who would make fun of me just to make me laugh.

He would take me to the park and put his hands around my waist and give me big bearhugs all the time.

He would tell all his friends about me and SMILE when he did.

He would never be afraid to say "I love you" in front of his friends,

and we'd argue about silly things and then make up.

I want a boy who would kiss me at midnight on New Years

and COUNT STARS with me.

Who would put his arm around me the minute we sat down next to each other.

Who would stay home with me on a Friday night, just to help me make dinner and watch movies together under the same blanket.

He wouldn't be afraid to KISS ME, no matter where we are.

Someone who would tell me I'm beauiful but not too often,

who would make me laugh like NO ONE else could.

A guy who would QUOTE SHAKESPEARE just to tell me that I'm BEAUTIFUL in HIS eyes

Recite lines from THE PRINCESS BRIDE, then kiss me.

But mostly, I want someone who would be my best friend and would never BREAK MY HEART

The True Boyfriend

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No.

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No.

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No.

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No.

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No.

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No.

Girl: Chose: me or your life

Boy: My life.

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says:

The reason you don't cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason why I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing o do anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

Girl: She gives him a big hug.

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live.

Harry Potter

Gringotts Entrance Warning

Enter, stranger, but take heed

Of what awaits the sin of greed,

For those who take, but do not earn,

Must pay most dearly in their turn.

So if you seek beneath our floors

A treasure that was never yours,

Thief, you have been warned, beware

Of finding more than treasure there.

Philosopher's Stone: Snape's Guarding Riddle

Danger lies before you, while safety lies behind,

Two of us will help you, which ever you would find,

One among us seven will let you move ahead,

Another will transport the drinker back instead,

Two among our number hold only nettle wine,

Three of us are killers, waiting hidden in line.

Choose, unless you wish to stay here forevermore,

To help you in your choice, we give you these clues four:

First, however slyly the poison tries to hide

You will always find some on nettle wine's left side;

Second, different are those who stand at either end,

But if you would move onward, neither is your friend;

Third, as you see clearly, all are different size,

Neither dwarf nor giant holds death in their insides;

Fourth, the second left and the second on the right

Are twins once you taste them, though different at first sight.

Philosopher's Stone Sorting Hat Song:

Oh, you may not think I’m pretty,
But don’t judge on what you see,
I’ll eat myself if you can find
A smarter hat than me.
You can keep your bowlers black,
Your top hats sleek and tall,
For I’m the Hogwarts Sorting Hat
And I can top them all.
There’s nothing hidden in your head
The Sorting Hat can’t see,
So try me on and I will tell you
Where you ought to be.
You might belong in Gryffindor,
Where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve and chivalry
Set Gryffindors apart;
You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true
And unafraid of toil;
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,
If you've a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind;
Or perhaps in Slytherin
You’ll make your real friends,
Those cunning folk use any means
To achieve their ends.
So put me on! Don’t be afraid!
And don’t get in a flap!
You’re in safe hands (though I have none)
For I’m a Thinking Cap!

Goblet of Fire Sorting Hat Song:

A thousand years or more ago,
When I was newly sewn,
There lived four wizards of renown,
Whose names are still well known:
Bold Gryffindor, from wild moor,
Fair Ravenclaw, from glen,
Sweet Hufflepuff, from valley broad,
Shrewd Slytherin, from fen.
They shared a wish, a hope, a dream,
They hatched a daring plan
To educate young sorcerers
Thus Hogwarts School began.
Now each of these four founders
Formed their own house, for each
Did value different virtues
In the ones they had to teach.
By Gryffindor, the bravest were
Prized far beyond the rest;
For Ravenclaw, the cleverest
Would always be the best;
For Hufflepuff, hard workers were
Most worthy of admission;
And power-hungry Slytherin
Loved those of great ambition.
While still alive they did divide
Their favorites from the throng,
Yet how to pick the worthy ones
When they were dead and gone?
‘Twas Gryffindor who found the way,
He whipped me off his head
The founders put some brains in me
So I could choose instead!
Now slip me snug about your ears,
I’ve never yet been wrong,
I’ll have a look inside your mind
And tell where you belong!

Order of Phoenix Sorting Hat Song:

In times of old when I was new
And Hogwarts barely started
The Founders of our noble school
Thought never to be parted:
united by a common goal,
They had the selfsame yearning
To make the world's best magic school
And pass along their learning.
"Together we will build and teach!"
The Four good friends decided
And never did they dream that they
Might someday be divided,
For were there such friends anywhere
As Slytherin and Gryffindor?
Unless it was the second pair
Of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw?
So how could it have gone so wrong?
How could such friendships fail?
Why, I was there and so can tell
The whole sad, sorry tale.
Said Slytherin, "We'll teach just those
Whose ancestry is purest."
Said Ravenclaw, "We'll teach those whose
Intelligence is surest."
Said Gryffindor, "We'll teach all those
With brave deeds to their name,"
Said Hufflepuff, "I'll teach the lot,
And treat them just the same."
These differences caused little strife
When first they came to light,
For each of the four founders had
A House in which they might
Take only those they wanted, so,
For instance, Slytherin
Took only pure-blood wizards
Of great cunning, just like him,
And only those of sharpest mind
Were taught by Ravenclaw
While the bravest and the boldest
Went to daring Gryffindor,
Good Hufflepuff, she took the rest,
And taught them all she knew,
Thus the Houses and their founders
Retained friendships firm and true.
So Hogwarts worked in harmony
For several happy years,
But the discord crept among us
Feeding on our faults and fears.
The Houses that, like pillars four,
Had once held up our school,
Now turned upon each other and,
Divided, sought to rule.
And for a while it seemed the school
Must meet an early end,
What with dueling and with fighting
And the clash of friend on friend
And at last there came a morning
When old Slytherin departed
And though the fighting then died out
He left us quite downhearted.
And never since the founders four
Were whittled down to three
Have the Houses been united
As they once were meant to be.
And now the Sorting Hat is here
And you all know the score:
I sort you into Houses
Because that is what I'm for,
But this year I'll go further,
Listen closely to my song:
Though condemned I am to split you
Still I worry that it's wrong,
Though I must fulfill my duty
And must quarter every year
Still I wonder whether sorting
May not bring the end I fear.
Oh, know the perils, read the signs,
The warning history shows,
For our Hogwarts is in danger
From external, deadly foes
And we must unite inside her
Or we'll crumble from within
I have told you, I have warned you..
Let the sorting now begin



1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods..

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(What if you don't know how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(a little too late, huh?)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Really? Are you sure?)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)

On artificial bacon:
"Real artificial bacon bits".
(because they don't want to give us the fake bacon, they want to give us the real fake bacon :P)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(I think something got lost in the translation)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to?)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(No duh Sherlock)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Was that a popular problem...?)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Children's Asprin:
Warning: Keep Away From Children
(How are they supposed to get the medicine?)

Candle: Warning: A burning candle is fire
(WOW! I'm amazed and enlightened!)

Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking
(So... You first.)

Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado
(No comment...)

Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts
(Um... How? I always thought frisbees were just one little disc...)

Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.
(Wouldn't they be already dead?)

Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping
(Yummy! Hair dye!)

Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required
(Well darn, I was planning on just enchanting the picture!)

On a toboggan:
Beware: Sledge may develop high speed under certain snow conditions.

On a knife sharpener:
Caution: knives are sharp.
(No way!)

On shin pads for cyclists:
Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.

On a take away coffee cup:
Caution: Hot beverages are hot.

Emergency safety procedures at a US summer camp:
In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill quickly.

In a microwave oven manual:
Do not use for drying pets.

On the back of a pilot's seat in a Nato aircraft:
Seat must be facing forward for take-off and landing.

On the bottom of a cola bottle:
Do not open here.

On a Harry Potter wizards broom:
This broom does not actually fly.

On a box of aspirin:
Do not take if allergic to aspirin.

On a bottle of laundry detergent:
Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.

On a muffin packet:
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.

In a kettle instruction manual:
The appliance is switched on by setting the 'ON/OFF' button to the 'ON' position.

On a ketchup bottle:
Instructions: Put on food.

On a bottle of rum:
Open bottle before drinking.

A car park sign:
Entrance only. Do not enter.

A sign in a street in Hong Kong:
Beware of people.

Sign on newly-renovated ramp entrance, USA:
Take care: new non-slip surface.

On a can of air freshener:
For use by trained personnel only.

On a bottle of baby lotion:
Keep away from children.

On a pair of socks bought in egypt:
Do not wash.

On a can of pepper spray used for self defense:
May irritate eyes.

In a car handbook:
In order to get out of car, open door, get out lock doors, and then close doors.

On a packet of cashew nut pieces:
Warning: This product may contain residue of nuts.

Directions for mosquito repellent:
Replacing battery: replace old battery with a new one.

On a birthday card for a one year old:
Not suitable for children aged under 36 months or less.

In a hotel bedroom:
Please do not turn on TV except when in use.

In a lift in a Japanese hotel:
Push this button in case anything happens.

On a toilet cleaning brush:
Do not use orally.

On a can of Spray paint:
Do not spray in your face.

On a TV remote:
Not Dishwasher safe.

On a blowtorch:
Not used for drying hair.

On a push along lawn mower:
Not to be used as a hedge trimmer.

On a box of fireworks:
Do not put in mouth.

On the packaging for a wrist watch:
Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.

In a dishwasher manual:
Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.

On a toaster:
Do not use underwater.

On a mattress:
Do not attempt to swallow.

On an advertisement for bananas
Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound.

Road sign-"Caution: water on road during rain." (No dip, Sherlock.)

On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions:"Put on fork and eat."(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food!?)

Boeing 757-"Fragile. Do not drop"(That means you, Hulk! Put that bloody airplane down, you might drop it!)

Scoopable cat litter-"safe to use around pets" (I should bloody well hope so!)

Earplugs-"These earplugs are nontoxic, but they may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe." (Are you sure? Lets experiment.)


24 ways to annoy your parents:

1. Follow them around everywhere

2. Moo when they say your name

3. Pretend to have amnesia

4.Say everything backwards

5. Run into walls

6. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.

7.Go into their room at 3 in the morning and say "Good Morning Sunshine!"

8. snort loudly when you laugh then laugh harder

9. Say all the lines in a movie

10. Pluck someones hair out and yell "DNA!!!!!!"

11. Wear a sticker that says "I'm a fish and loving it!"

12. Talk to a pen

13. Have tons of imaginary friends that you talk to all the time

14. Try to climb the wall

15. Put pegs on your nose and ears.

16. Switch the light switch on and off for awhile then finally say "Ohhh . . . I get it"

17. Eat your hair

18. Hold their hand and say "I see dead people"

19. When you are in the shower or bathtub yell "I'm drowning!"

20. At everything they say yell "LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

21. Pretend to be a phone

22. Try to swim on the floor

23. Tap on their door all night . . .

24. Read this to them

Gryffindors...will jump off a cliff.

Slytherins...will push someone else off.

Hufflepuffs...will call five hundred others and build a staircase.

Ravenclaws...will get hold of a flying carpet.

Gryffindor (The biggest heros in HP history as far as we know):

1. Welcome to Gryffindor, a Weasley has probably slept in your bed.

2. Gryffindors: Brave to the point of Idiocy.

3. Gryffindor: Because we blur the line between bold and stupid every time.

4. The beautiful, the brave and the bold.

5. Gryffindor: I'll kick your ass.

6. I'm in Gryffindor, you're in Gryffindor- let's hug!!

7. Gryffindor: because we get enough exercise just pushing our luck.

8. No excuses, rule breaking is customary.

9. Gryffindors are attention whores.

Slytherin (The Junior Death Eaters):

1. We aren't all evil... yeah, we are.

2. Cunning and Ambition: Slytherin.

3. Go ahead, be a little naughty.

4. Slytherin: We have chained boys in the dungeons.

5. Slytherin: Because our common room is underwater (and that's cool).

6. It's not that we are better than you... (except it totally is).

7. Why be normal? Or good?

8. We are Junior Death Eaters. Deal with it.

9. Slytherin: means never having to say you're sorry.

10. Seriously evil wizard coming through.

11. I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest.

12. Slytherins do it on Snape's desk.

13. Voldemort needs prision bitches.

14. Because real friends help you Incendio the bodies.

15. Property of the Half-Blood Prince.

16. We're only wearing black until something darker comes along.

17. Don't hate us beacuse we're beautiful, hate us because we kick your ass at everything.

18. Never wound what can kill you.

Hufflepuff (Some of the best people you'll ever meet):

1. I'm planning your death but in a happy way.

2. Brace youself- I'm going to hug you.

3. Nobody ever suspects the Hufflepuff.

4. You may be smarter, cooler, and better, but we still think you suck.

5. You think we're nice? That's cute...

6. Nowhere in the song does it say we're nice.

7. The love of a Hufflepuff was the only love good enough for Neville.

8. Hufflepuff: We kill you with smiles and rainbows.

9. All we got was Cedric... and that didn't turn out so good, did it?

10. Hufflepuffs kick ass too.

11. Hufflepuff: Formerly known as the party house.

12. Hufflepuffs know how to party.

13. Hufflepuff: We have cupcakes. Need we say more?

14. Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.

15. Hufflepuffs are Particularly good finders.

Ravenclaw (The smartest house with the only ones who don't blow themselves up):

Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure.

1. I don't need romance, I have goldfish.

2. A room without books is like a body without a soul.

3. I can kill you with my brain.

4. Ravenclaw pride. Be afraid.

5. It's not that we are smarter than you (except it totally is).

6. I'm a Ravenclaw, which clearly means I am elligable to boast about my intellegence level in your face.

7. Ravenclaw: beacuse we know every insult in the book. (Get it, their smart and they know every insult in the book!)

8. Ravenclaw: geeks shall inherit the earth.

9. Ravenclaw: Dangerously over-educated. (Seriously over-educated.)

10. Ravenclaw: Tact enough for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.

11. Ravenclaw: because everyone else is just dumb.

In Remembrance...

I promise to remember Harry

When someone grows up with no love

I promise to remember Ron

When someone is jealous

I promise to remember Hermione

When I meet someone with wisdom beyond their years

I promise to remember James and Lily

when someone dies before their time

I promise to remember Dumbledore

At the thought of the greater good

I promise to "Solemely Swear That I Am Up To No Good"

for Gred, Forge, and Padfoot of course

I promise to remember Moony

And fight for human rights

I promise to remember Snape

When My heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Narcissa

When I'd do anything for family

I promise to remember Dora Tonks

When someone is hyper

I promise to remember Hedwig,

who lived and died soaring

I promise to remember Percy

When ambition gets the best of me

I promise to be careful

For Moody's sake, of course

I promise to remember Hagrid

When one is wrongly blamed

I promise to remember Neville

when I stand up for what is right

I promise to remember the Marauders

When a friend says "Call me and I'll be there."

Yes I promise that I will

remember Harry Potter

The Percy Jackson pledge:
I promise to remember Percy
whenever I'm at sea
I promise to remember Annabeth
whenever a spider comes at me
I promise to protect nature
for Grover's sake of course
I promise to remember Luke
when my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Chiron
whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride''
I promise to remember Tyson
whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side
I promise to remember Thalia
whenever a friend is scared of heights
I promise to remember Clarisse
whenever I see someone that gives me a fright
I promise to remember Bianca
whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother
I promise to remember Nico
whenever I see someone who doesnt get along with others
I promise to remember Zoe
whenever I watch the stars
I promise to remembe Rachel
whenever a limo passes my car.
yes I promise to remember PJO
wherever I may go

The Kane Chronicle Pledge:

I promise to remember Carter

When I travel far away

I promise to remember Sadie

When I have something sarcastic to say

I promise to remember Desjardins

When someone doesn't fight fair

I promise to remember Amos

When someone has beads in their hair

I promise to remember Iskandar

When I see someone very old

I promise to remember Bast

When I see cat's eyes that are gold

I promise to remember Horus

When I see a beautiful bird

I promise to remember Isis

Whenever strange voices are heard

I promise to remember Set

When someone is clever and sly

I promise to remember Anubis

When a cute boy catches my eye

I promise to remember Zia

When I see someone working magic

I promise to remember Julius Kane

When someone's life is tragic

I promise to remember Ruby Kane

When someone I love is gone

And whenever I read The Red Pyramid

I'll always remember this song.

NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast
PJO FANS:will tell Zeus to make it rain


NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings
PJO FANS:won't go to one because they will take away their awesome demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you!
PJO FANS: say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you!

NORMAL PEOPLE: think that PJO fans are stupid
PJO FANS: know that normal people are stupid

NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!
PJO FANS: when being chased use their awesome demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms
PJO FANS: yell at Zeus to calm down

NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation
PJO FANS: would try and find Camp Half Blood

NORMAL PEOPLE:don't have this on their profile
PJO FANS: MUST have this on their profile!

Some Neville Love (These are all true.)

-Neville needs a Remembrall not because he has a poor memory, but merely because he accomplishes too much to remember.
-Neville Longbottom doesn't bow to hippogriffs. Hippogriffs bow to Neville Longbottom.
-Not to be outdone, after Mrs. Weasley took out Bellatrix, Neville brought her back to life and killed her again.
-Professor Quirrel didn't have to fake his stammer in Neville's presence.
-Neville became Head Boy AND Girl. No one dared comment.
-Neville Longbottom is what's beyond the veil.
-Before Neville punched it, it was known as Horizont Alley.
-Neville uses Nagini's blood as soy sauce.
-Muggles don't know about Lord Voldemort, but they do know about Neville Longbottom.
-Chuck Norris' boggart is Neville Longbottom.
-Neville's patronus is Neville, because nothing else is badass enough to represent him.
-Neville Longbottom is the reason that the Cauldron is Leaky.
-If someone replaced the Mirror of Erised with a picture of Neville Longbottom, no one would notice.
-Cho Chang wasn't crying because she missed Cedric. She was crying because she was with Harry, and not Neville.
-They said Dumbledore was the only man Voldemort was afraid of. They lied.
-They were going to release a Neville Longbottom edition of clue but the answer always turned out to be "Neville Longbottom, in the courtyard with a sword."
-Neville Longbottom created the Department of Mysteries when he got bored with making every discovery.
-Neville Longbottom cut off the Hog's Head. He was just practicing for Nagini.
-Voldemort did not choose Harry over Neville because he thought Neville to be weaker, but because it would be downgrading him. Neville doesn't like to be downgraded

This Evil Overlord List is Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach. If you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post it anywhere, provided that (1) it is not altered in any way, and (2) this copyright notice is attached.

Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. With that in mind, allow me to present...

My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary.

If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.

I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.

I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."

When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.

I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.

I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.

Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.

No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power.I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.

I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.

I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses.

Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)

No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.

I will never build only one of anything important.

All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies.

For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.

My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.

I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.

All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death.My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.

All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.

I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.

I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.

I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.

I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.

I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.

If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.

If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.

If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.

I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.

Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.

When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.

I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the hansome rebel and he claims he is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray his companions if I just let him in on my plans.

I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.

I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.

If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.

If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.

I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.

If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.

My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.

If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the handsome prince's cell, I will immediately transfer her to a less people-oriented position.

I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.

If the handsome prince that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill him.

I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.

The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.

My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.

Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.

I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.

My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.

If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.

I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.

Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.

I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.

If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.

My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.

No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.

I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.

All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.

When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.

If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.

I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.

When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.

I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)

If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.

I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."

If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.

If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.

If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.

I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.

If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.

I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.

I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."

I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.

My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.

If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.

After I captures the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.

I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.

I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.

If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)

If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.

When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.

My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.

My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.

My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.

If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.

Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

You Know You’re Obsessed With Percy Jackson When…

You go to the Empire State Building and you ask for the 600th Floor.

There’s a thunderstorm going on and you scream, “CALM DOWN, ZEUS!”

Every time you use the Internet, you thank Hermes.

When you see Harry Potter, you think of Percy with glasses.

You burn food to see if it smells good.

You see an owl, you go, “Hi Athena!”

You’re in a running/swimming race and you’re praying and sacrificing to Hermes/Poseidon.

You think that your favorite singer is a child of Apollo.

Someone close to you dies and you give them money (LOTS of it) just in case…

Everyone else is creating a Twilight family and you create a PJO family.

You go on a cruise and you hope the boat isn’t The Princess Andromeda…

You’re on a boat and you pray that Poseidon is in a good mood.

You’re in the air (hang-gliding, cliff-diving, bungee jumping, flying, in a plane, etc.) and you hope Zeus is in a good mood and won’t blast you out of the air.

You go to Aunty Em’s and say you’re camera shy.

You find your true love and thank Aphrodite for sending him/her to you.

You think George Bush is a son of Ares (he’s dumb and violent you know!).

You know Muse is the best singers. Get it, the Nine Muses??

Bring a blue plastic hairbrush with you everywhere.

When it gets really cold randomly, blame Kronos.

You get a Greek mythology calendar for Christmas.

You get really mad at Hades when a family member dies.

You sometimes try to control water.

You don't read anything but PJO for 3 months.

You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address.

Even though not diagnosed, you claim you have ADHD or dyslexia and blame it
on your God parent.

You yell "Annabeth!" everytime you see a NY Yankees hat.

You make the PJO characters on Sims, as Miis on the Wii, and other video

Anytime you see an orange shirt, you look at the front of it to see if it is
a Camp shirt.

You are a PJO character for Halloween.

Recite lines randomly from the books.

When you see/hear about anything myhtology-related, you talk about how it
was in PJO (what page, book, etc.) and what happened to it.

Buy anything New York or San Francisco-related.

You are going to the Camp Half-Blood in Texas.

You are suddenly obsessed with Adidas shoes because they have the Hermes

You claim that Percy IS real and lives in New York no matter how much your friends argue with you.

You have dreams about PJO characters/events

You carry a ballpoint pen in your pocket.

That everytime you pick up a pen, you think it'll turn into a sword.

Everytime you play dodgeball, you bring a suit of armor.

You go to San Fransisco looking for the Old Sea Man.

You find yourself praying to Poseidon for rain.

Whenever your internet slows down, you yell at the sky and say "HERMES! WHY

You stuff your (ahem) Harry Potter books in the back of your closet so you
have some more places for your PJ&O stuff.

When someone gets married, you say: "I hope you shall not anger Hera"

In the beginning of your first History class, you burst out "Will we be
studying Greek mythology?!"

You pretend (or actually) faint when someone asks "Who's Percy?"

When someone mentions the name Percy (like Percy Weasley) you scream

When someone dies, you pray to Hades to allow them to go across Styx for
free, because they don't have drachmas anymore.

You are known to scream names of the characters at random times.

You've got any copy of any book in all your backpacks/binders incase of

You pray to Athena when you don’t study for a math test.

And when you flunk said test, you blame her irritation on Percabeth.

When you steal your friend's pen you believe it's justified because your dad is the god of thieves, and you thought it was Riptide and had to check to make sure Percy was still alive.

You write PJO fanfiction constantly, even when you're not at your computer.

When your mom grounds you from the computer, you blame it on a combination of Nemesis, Hera and Hermes' little joke.

You want Hephaestus to fix your iPod when it breaks.

You give all your siblings god parents (Poseidon, Zeus, Hades.)

You call the "Ares kids", or school bullies, Martians.

You quiz fellow fans on the minor gods and win.

You spend time doing pointless research, just because Rick Riordan linked it on his site.

You still think Thalico could happen. Not Thuke.

You plan several statements to avoid Apollo's lines and remember he's a player, should he ever hit on you, and several ways to get out of being cursed.

You imagine the gods alone, and what they really do on the Superbowl.

You think Percy's extended family needs extensive therapy.

You have a countdown to the Demigod Files because of the mention of Percabeth.

You want Kronos buried under Witchita, Kansas in a safe deposit toothpick box. No one will ever look there, and hopefully he'll be too tiny to bother the locals.

Your mother thinks you need to get a boyfriend, as does your father to cure your obsession.

You blame your little brother's desire to turn off your Internet in the middle of this review on Hermes' anger that you've joked about all of them.

You imagine random unwritten PJO moments during class and laugh. When one brave soul unaware of your obsession broaches the question of why you were laughing, you try to explain.

They think you are nuts because you are laughing at Hades' wild card of Nico.

You think of creative names for Percy besides Seaweed Brain, such as kelphead16 because his head is full of kelp and there's an 85 chance he'll die at the age of sixteen.

You wonder if you'll be able to drive a car come your 16, provided Percy saves the world, because of that.

You know you're obsessed when you lose something, and say, "Come on Hermes!
Give it back!!

You think all the popular girls at your school are children of Aphrodite. And say to all the braniacs at your school if Athena is okay. (Don’t hurt me Athena).

You go on YouTube and look at PJO themes for characters.(hehe, did that)

You read page 287 of BotL over and over again or say the lines in your head (Nico will Rule The World!)

Your internet homepage is Rick Riordan's blog.

You and your other PJO obsessed friend cracks up if any one mentions the word
Canada or Canadians.

You and your PJO obsessed friend start a fan club with only you two in it.

You get other people obsessed.

You have constant vivid dreams about the fifth book.

You spend most of your time thinking what will happen in the fifth book.

You jump up and down at the idea of LT becoming a movie.(Horrible! Wrong plot, wrong characters, name something that wasn't wrong!)

You know exactly what someone means when they say LT, SoM, TC, BotL, PJO and
use it in conversations.

Your favorite quote of all time comes from PJO.

You and your friend has "diss-wars" using PJO CHARACTERS

When someone dies, you give them a sack of red rubber balls for Cerberus. o

Every time you see a guy in a wheelchair you think "Chiron!!”

You find yourself saying things like "Oh my gods!" and "What the Hades?"

When your boyfriend dumps you, you take the oath of the hunters (not that I
have any experience.)

When you burn yourself, you curse Hephaestus/Hestia.

You put an offering to Demeter next to your garden.

You go up to a teacher in a wheelchair and say, "I know who you really are, Chiron…"

You say "Maia!" when you are wearing shoes.

You checked to make sure your principal doesn’t have a tail.

You know which pages the good parts are on.

You suddenly hate thunderstorms.

You start hearing Percabeth in every song you hear.

You started calling your dog Mrs. O’Leary.

You start figuring out who your godly parent is. (Hades!)

You never looked at a ballpoint pen the same way again.

You ask the cashier at the store if they stock Mythomagic cards.

You start doing pro/con lists in your head. During Math. When you’re supposed to be taking notes.

Each day you check every fan site you know of for new information.

You try to figure out how much food dye you need to turn chocolate chip cookies blue.(Four drops for every three cookies)

You make references to it in school reports and/or to friends that haven’t read it.

The first thing you ask someone when you meet them is, “Have you read PJO?”

You yell “Mizzenmast!” whenever you enter a boat.

You curse a god/goddess a lot. (I say, "Oh my Gods" and "What in Hades name are you doing?" and "What in Hades name am I doing" a lot)

You have one (Or more) pictures relating to PJO in your room

You know PJO better then most sane people

You have links to every great PJO site

You add things to the list every day

You know what you would do if you were Percy

You argue with your friends about if Nico should turn evil or not(No Way!)

At least half of your friends have read all the PJO, or are going to in the very near future.

You wish you could find a rainbow to see if Iris messages work(although i dont have a golden drachama)

You give friends and youself a godly parent,

You are trying to learn Greek.( Its easier than english!)

You keep thinking about one of the PJO books when you go on a trip.(Are yu kidding, I bring them all with me!)

You think of percy every time you see a dark haried green-eyed boy.

You have an instant crush on Nico!(um... no)

You just have to research more about greek mythology.(Alredy Have!)

You want to learn Latin. (Actually yes, but first I'm learning Greek.)

You copy/paste this onto your profile.(obviously)

Most of your fics are PJO related, even if it is a cross over

You have taken every test you can find about what demigodly parent you would/do/should have, and your trying to get your friends to. (I got Hades!)

You make sure all of your friends (Or most of them), have an idea about what you say when talking about PJO

Your friends (At least one), think you are obbsessed with PJO, and you agree.

You have one or more things related to PJO on your school stuff, and if someone asks you why, you tell them.

You have something on your school things (Or home things), that says 'Daughter (Or son if you're a guy) of God/goddess', and you don't even try to hide it, even if it says daughter of Name of unliked god.goddess

You’re nodding and smiling when you read this.

You own every single book.(duh)

You are planning on adding a lot more things to this list.

You call yourself a demigod.

You wish with every fibre of your being that the first page of The Lightning Theif told the truth, and the PJO series is real. (It is, duh!)

You find yourself praying to a random god when you didn't study for a math test because you were too busy reading PJO.

You've called someone you know a satyr.(they dont limp)

You Know You're a Book Addict If:

You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on. (duh!)

Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading. (I was really tired after that...)

You write fanfictions about the book. (no, but i read them.)

You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read your favorite books.

You accidentally call everyone by the character's names. (No...)

Everything reminds you of the book.(well...most)

You quote random lines all the time.(yes)

You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. (yep)

You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class.

You have pictures of your favorite characters on your iPod. (On my laptop.)

You've got a book memorized. (part of it)

You've read a book more than five times. (YES!!!)

You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days. (duh)

You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like.

You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend. (No.)

You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional.

You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional. (YES)

Your idol is a character from a book.

I am a book addict and proud of it!!! If you are one too, copy and paste this on your profile.

You Know You're Obsessed With Maximum Ride When...

1. You're friends think you're crazy for being obsessed with six flying kids and their talking dog.

2. You see someone in a white lab coat then run off screaming.

3. You've called one of your siblings/friends/family members Max, Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, or Angel.

4. You refuse to talk to anyone who's named Ari.

5. You claim you have wings.

6. You drool when you hear the word 'Fang'. (Mmmm...)

7. You daydream about meeting the flock.

8. You've reread Maximum Ride about 3 times or more.

9. You look for the flock's theme songs and get excited when you find one that fits perfect.

10. You study about birds.

11. You hate science class/refuse to dissect any type of animal.

12. You have a crush on Iggy or Fang or both.

13. You read Fang's blog daily. Even though you know it's JP talking.

14. You're waiting for your 'Nick Ride'.

15. You are counting down the days for the next book.

16. You will go to the first opening for the movie, even if it's at midnight.

17. You look in the mirror cautiously to make sure your reflection is not an Eraser.

18. You hate dog crates. (Evil things...)

19. You think scientists are evil. (Hey! My parents are scientists!)

20. You argue with people if Max is a girl's name or a guy's.

21. When your spending the night at a friend's, you say you'll take first watch.

22. You've found a new respect for blind people.

23. You think MR is the best series ever and you want to meet James Patterson, author.

24. You say 'U and A' a lot.

25. You think you have a Voice like Max. (I do!)

26. You've gotten your Online Friends hooked on it.

27. You use sarcastic remarks from MR.

28. You know what 'Fax' is. (Duh!)

29. You were one of the characters from MR for Halloween.

30. You claim to have brain attacks.

31. You protect your thoughts. Angel might be reading them.

32. You give a crazy look to people who don't know what MR is.

33. You daydream of flying. (Every single time I have a spare moment, meaning all the time.)

34. You love chocolate chip cookies. (To be honest, I loved chocolate chip cookies before Maximum Ride.)

35. You seriously felt like you were in the book.

36. If you want to become a writer because of MR.

37. If they make a poster, shirt, key-chain, button, anything MR you will buy it.

38. If you love Fan-fiction.

39. In school, it's hard to concentrate because you're thinking of Maximum Ride. (This is a good thing. If I couldn't zone into my Max Ride fantasies, I would spend even more time bored out of my mind.)

40. You want a talking dog. (Totally! Heh. See what I just did there?)

Everything I Learned In Life, I Learned From CLAMP

1. If you're not angsty, you should be.
2. There is no such thing as coincidence.
3. Evil takes the form of four Japanese mangaka.
4. Everything's better in alternate universes.
5. If you're precious to your brother, you're probably doomed.
6. Actually, if you're precious to anyone, you're doomed.
7. In fact, you're probably just doomed anyways.
8. Treasure your eyes. You never know when they'll be taken away.
9. Subtext really does equal buttsex.
10. Everything has a price.
11. The most powerful people are alcoholics.
12. Never trust the bunny/pork bun.
13. True love always prevails. Usually.
14. Love comes in all forms.
15. At least you’re not Subaru.
16. Nothing says love like agreeing to be somebody’s primary food source.
17. If someone comments on your eyes being pretty, you will probably lose them several chapters later.
18. Even if you and your beloved are a canon couple, by the end, you still won’t have kissed.
19. Even in other series, you still will not kiss.
20. If your grandparents are constantly on vacation, they most likely don’t exist.
21. Never carry your most treasured item around with you.
22. Everybody has an evil twin.
23. Tokyo Tower is, more than likely, the source of all evil.
24. If you’re good-looking, you’re doomed or angsty. Probably both.
25. Don’t expect to live a happy life. You’ll only be disappointed.
26. The more they smile, the harder they fall.
27. Your fan base is directly proportional to how angsty you are.
28. Everyone is pretty, even when bleeding or in agony.
29. Torture and mind games are just another way of showing you care.
30. Your boss is bad for you.
31. The world is split into three genders: male, female and androgynous.
32. Blood is aesthetic.
33. It’s not real magic unless you can conjure a two-meter-wide magic circle.
34. Flat strips of paper can reach the same speed as an F1 race car.
35. Fire doesn’t burn unless the plot requires it to.
36. No matter how ripped your shirt gets, it’s not coming off.
37. Men with black hair and glasses (including sunglasses) cannot be trusted.
38. Anyone who says having magic powers is cool could not have been more wrong.
39. It’s possible to store two swords and enough clothing for four people inside the mouth of a bunny/pork bun.
40. Who wears short shorts? Little boy detectives wear short shorts!
41. Four leaf clovers aren’t as lucky as they’re made out to be.
42. If you’re a character voiced by Megumi Ogata/cool/fan favourite/bishounen, you’re doomed.
43. Hell, you’re in a CLAMP anime. You’re doomed.
44. Remember your dreams- they’re the key to the plot.
45. If you can’t whistle, “hyuu” instead.
46. If you feel someone’s watching you, they probably are.
47. If he’s tall, dark and handsome, he’s taken- by the outrageously cute boy standing next to him.
48. Feathers have the ultimate power. Buy a chicken.
49. If your series is happy sugar-coated fairies and gay, you will most likely all die a horrible death at the hand of a psychotic clone.
50. Everything will be alright.
51. Just because you return from a journey, doesn’t mean you’ll return in one piece.
52. Everything happens in Tokyo.
53. Cute stuffed animals make the best magical servants.
54. Swords longer than your height are easy to manage.
55. Attack names/chants are more important than actual skill or experience.
56. Cherry blossoms are a sign of good luck.
57. Cherry blossoms are a sign of bad luck.
58. Cherry blossoms are- sod that, if you see cherry blossoms, run.
59. Even after your heart is pierced by someone's hand, you will still have plenty of time to divulge deep dark secrets/words of wisdom/angst/last words before you actually die.
60. Show your true love not by exchanging rings, but eyes.
61. No one is really happy. They’re just hiding some dark secret.
62. Dressing someone up in cute but outlandish outfits is a sign of great love and affection.
63. The easiest way to solve a love triangle is to kill somebody.
64. Inanimate objects have feelings.
65. Eyes, especially magic ones, are in high demand.
66. Cosplay is completely normal in Tokyo.
67. Love your parents while you can.
68. The general public is oblivious to strange/supernatural/inexplicable/mysterious events/people/objects.
69. Don’t give your name to strangers.
70. Wherever you are, there is a Miyuki somewhere in the background.
71. Apparently, magic allows you to eat other people’s eyes like candy.
72. Walking between a fence and a lamp-post will send you to another time/dimension.
73. Never trust shop owners.
74. You can adore liquor more than food, but you do not have an alcohol problem.
75. Everyone who's important, has the birthday April 1st.
76. It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye-then it's a pairing.
77. Nothing says love than agreeing to be someone's primary life source.
78. When asking the Japanese what a word means, definitions don't matter, you just need Kanji
79. Nothing says love like telling them to live till the day you kill them
80. Nothing says love like placing varius suffixes onto the end of the first four letters of their name

How to be REALLY Annoying

2. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
3. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
6. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17-inch paper, 99 copies.
7. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
8. Sniffle incessantly.
9. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
10. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
11. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace.
12. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
13. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
14. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
15. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
16. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
17. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you’ll be saying more any moment.
18. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
19. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
20. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
21. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
22. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
23. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
24. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people’s backpacks.
25. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
26. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
27. Honk and wave to strangers.
28. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
29. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
30. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
31. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
33. Only type in lowercase.
34. don’t use any punctuation either
35. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
36. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
37. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
38. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
39. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone’s roadmaps.
40. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
41. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
42. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
43. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
44. Stand over someone’s shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
45. Pretend your computers mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
46. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
47. Ask people what gender they are.
48. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
49. Hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
50. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
51. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
52. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book, claim its a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
53. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
54. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
55. Wear a LOT of cologne.
56. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
57. Sing along at the opera.
58. Mow your lawn with scissors.
59. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
60. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
61. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
62. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
63. Never make eye contact.
64. Never break eye contact.
65. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
66. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
67. Invite lots of people to other people’s parties.
68. Ask people to donate to your favorite charity--yourself.
69. Explode a lot.
70. Bring your puppy into fancy restaurants.
71. Purposely crash into walls and insist it never happened.
72. Slap someone every time they say "potato".
73. Sneeze on people.
74. Bother people you don't know.
75. Accidentally misspell wurdz.
76. Have an over-active imagination.
77. Write a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, long sentence.
78. Throw dishes at people when they talk too much.
79. Tell people to shut up when they start to talk.
80. Tell people to shut up when you think they might start talking.
81. Bother people you don't know by loudly ripping paper.
82. Bounce objects off bald guy's heads. (no offense to bald guys :))
83. Tell people you're from the future and that they will die within 24 hours.
84. Then tell them again.
85. And again.
86. And one more time for good measure. But don't overdo it.
87. Overdo it anyway.
88. Claim you have split personalities and argue with yourself.
89. Then have your third personality join in.
90. Steal people’s pens.
91. Toss things out windows of a very tall building.
92. Let your Yorkshire terrier chew the tar out of someone's briefcase.
93. Then in front of the owner give the dog a biscuit and tell it "good job, but you missed a spot."
94. Don't bathe.
95. Then tell people it’s a new fragrance from France.
96. Laugh if they believe you.
97. Don't bathe your dog.
98. And bring it to a wedding.
99. Repeat rules 94-96 aloud to make people thing you're psycho.
100. Put a dog in your backpack and bring it to school, saying your dog ate your schoolbooks, so you couldn't do your homework.
101. Run around, screaming and flailing your arms like a lunatic.
102. Collect animal eggs and store them in your medicine cabinet for nosy people to be surprised when they check it.
103. Purposely make someone get an error and disconnect from AOL IM.
104. Make people believe you're an AOL hacker by having an evil address.
105. Use the phrase "hehe" a lot.
106. Lie about EVERYTHING and make it obvious that you are.
107. Make up your own internet-ese and type it to people and see if they understand.
108. Be really stupid.
109. Make a list of annoying things.
109. Use the same number twice.
110. Ring people’s doorbells and say you’re from Publishers’ Clearing House, telling them they didn’t win a prize.
111. Spin your head in circles.
112. Smack people in the face and claim it’s an arm spasm.
114. Skip numbers in a numbered list.
23. Then add a number from out of nowhere.
115. At restaurants, eat food off other people’s plates while they stare at you in amazement.
116. Gain 200 pounds and order four pizzas from a pizza place, then insist on not paying because they were ten seconds late.
117. Visit a friend and replace all their silverware with chopsticks.
118. Bring fast food into another restaurant.
119. Steal the deal in euchre until someone notices.
120. Play 52-card pickup by yourself in front of everyone.
121. On every scrap of paper you find, scribble "Happy Valentine’s Day" and give it to people.
122. Scatter camouflaged objects all over the floor and laugh at people that trip.
123. Take off your socks and toss them randomly around your house, and take note of who passes out.
124. Throw a party at a friend’s house while he/she are gone, leave a mess, then insist it was a surprise party. "Surprise! We trashed your house!"
125. Strew fly paper all over the floor in the public restroom.
126. Talk in a really high-pitched voice.
127. Never change the tone of your voice This means no feeling emphasis emotion or punctuation of any kind
128. Prop your feet up on a computer desk and insist you type with your feet.
129. End all your sentences with question marks?
130. Play golf with a friend, and launch all his/her golf balls into a lake, one after the other.
131. Add another annoying thing to the end of this list every time you receive it, and send it to everyone you know, including the person that sent this to you.
134. Yell out "that's gotta hurt" every time that someone dies in a movie.
135. Swat at the air for no reason so people will think that you're crazy.

136. When you go to shake someone's hand, sniff them for no reason.
137. Talk with a Russian accent.
138. Put. periods. after. all. words.
139. Don'tputspacesbetweenwords.
140. Or forget rules 132-135 and imitate every action of the most recent Seinfeld.
141. Try putting a CD in the slot for a 3.5" floppy and then say, "It doesn't fit."
142. Wear glitter eye shadow for no reason.
143. Say "no?" after every sentence so the person you're talking to doesn't know whether to say "yes" or "no" or something else.
144. Put your hair like Kramer's for no apparent reason.
145. In the middle of "Men in Black", get up & scream, "BEAM ME UP, SCOTTIE!"
146. Eat everything you see.
147. Eat nothing you see.
148. When people ask if they can have your phone number (or anything else of yours) say you'll have to talk to your lawyer first.
149. Ask people what the word "the" means.
150. Ask strangers where babies come from.
151. Ramble at people in Russian.
152. If they understand you, knock them unconscious with a Wrench.
153. Or a Candlestick.
154. Or a Lead Pipe.
155. Talk about soap opera characters as if they are real.
156. Pretend video games are real.
157. Chop down telephone poles.
158. Drive a large vacuum down the road.
159. Or try a ride-on lawn mower.
160. Repeat something.
161. Repeat something.
162. Repeatedly give your friends lists of ways to be annoying.
163. Make up unreasonable stories and try to get people to believe you.
164. Sell iceboxes to people in Alaska.
165. Take over the world.
166. Show people that you can count to a million.
167. Tell people you’ll be a DJ when you grow up.
168. Purposely stand in someone’s way until they get the nerve to ask you to move.
169. Laugh at everything someone says especially right in the middle of sentences.
170. Laugh and point at someone for no reason.
171. Stop talking in the middle of
172. Erect a 50-foot billboard in front of your house.
173. Insist that French West Africa still exists.
174. Tell people that you are from the Afrika Corps.
175. Tell people that you can't do that because it is against your religion.
176. Drive on the wrong side of the road.
177. Don't tip the guy who parks your car at an elegant restaurant.
178. Tell people the truth (whether it is what they want to hear or not.).
>179. Put > symbols before all lines >in an e-mail.
180. When walking down a sidewalk, walk into people. When they try to get out of the way, move in their way.
181. Ask people questions as you walk with them.
182. Launch bottle rockets into your neighbor's yard and then declare war.
183. .sdrawkcab etirW
184. Drive into the back-ends of others and tell them that you thought that it was bumper cars.
185. Dress in all one color.
186. Ask people what they want to be when they grow up.
187. Go to work with the flu.
188. Burn fiction books.
189. Have a powwow in Red Square.
190. Cut down your neighbors’ trees and tell them that you are clearing the old growth so that there isn't a forest fire.
191. Don't answer your phone.
192. Don't read your mail.
193. Put no trespassing signs up in your yard.
194. Pour "Lawn Be-gone" on your neighbor's lawn.
195. Park your car in the middle of the road so no one can get to where they want to go.
196. Cut your grass at three in the morning.
197. Wear a cowboy hat inside public buildings.
198. Put plastic explosives inside the abandoned building down the street from where you live and set them off at three in the morning.
0199. Put zeros before numbers and tell people that they look good there.
200. Shine very bright light into people's eyes.
201. Post bio-hazard signs in your yard.
202. Pronounce numbers such as .4 as forty hundredths instead of four tenths.
203. Send the same e-mail through 3 or 4 times.
204. Send it through again.
205. Ask someone the same question over, and over again. When they finally tell you to shut up and that you've asked them that question already ten times, tell them, "I was just going to ask you that."
206. Wear a "for sale" sign around your neck.
207. Place a sign stating: "Could be radioactive" on your lawn.
208. Bleach your hair, just so you can look stupid.
209. Wear two-toned shoes.
210. Tell people that there is a right way and a wrong way to eat a potato.
211. Loan out empty pens.
212. Type in bright green size 3 font.
213. Put magnets up to disks; say that it is an experiment to see whether something will happen to it.
214. Laugh at stuff that isn't funny at all.
215. Don't laugh at stuff that is funny.
216. When making a list of annoying things for your friend to edit, skip numbers so they have to create annoying things themselves.
217. Call people, then hang up on them when they pick up.
218. Wear sunglasses in the night.
219. Make up jokes that make no sense whatsoever.
220. Devise a plan to take over the world.
221. Cough on others.
222. Sneeze over, and over, and over again.
223. Fall asleep while someone is talking to you.
224. W
225. Go to bookstores to read their books without buying them.
226. Change the rules in the middle of a game.
227. Tell people to "Beware the ides of March."
228. Talk very loudly in public.
229. Teach photosynthesis to your friends.
230. Without words.
231. Try to find an acute angle that doesn’t measure between 0 and 90 degrees.
232. Walk really slowly.
233. Sing in Gaelic or other strange languages.
234. Slobber on tablecloths in restaurants.
235. Whistle incessantly.
236. Talk to people while they are concentrating on something else.
237. Format all the disks in your house "for fun".
238. Type reports in some really strange font such as "French Script MT".
239. Don't do what you are told to.
240. abbr. wds (Abbreviate words).
241. Point at people with extremely large ears.
242. Park in the handicapped section and if you get a ticket, say that you are mentally handicapped and that's probably why you parked there anyway.
243. Pronounce words incorrectly.
244. Talk during a movie.
245. Cannonball into a 3-foot deep pool.
246. Ring someone's doorbell, then run away. When they answer the door, call them from your cellular phone.
247. Write very very long run on sentences that can be very very confusing to read.
248. Write stories in prose.
249. Become nocturnal. Sleep in class.
250. Write a poem about annoying things.
251. When reading, pause briefly after each comma, period, semi-colon, or any other form of punctuation.
252. Ignore people when they talk to you, and then start talking to them.
253. Bring your 160-lb pig into a friend’s house, and laugh as it demolishes their house.
254. Scream for absolutely no reason.
255. Drop things.
256. Buy a mansion, a Knife, a Rope, a Revolver, a Wrench, a Lead Pipe, and a Candlestick, and then invite six friends over for some fun.
257. Play "Spot the Car" everywhere you go. Rules: when you see a car pass your vehicle, scream "THERE’S A CAR!" and if it’s not a car, then don’t yell. Especially fun with hyper people.
258. Play hide-and-seek alone.
259. Remodel every room in your house to look like a bathroom.
260. Remodel every room in someone else’s house to look like a bathroom.
261. Stare at someone across the room.
262. Run into restaurants, insist that green Jell-O is after you and you need to hide in the kitchen.
263. Tell people to "Watch where I’m going."
264. Read aloud at the library.
265. Hold your own million-man march.
266. Have a discussion over the Pythagorean Theorem.
267. Watch and discuss boring movies.
268. Bring your own condiments to restaurants for "sanitary reasons."
269. Perform the macarena.
270. Escribe en español cuándo todos no comprenden.
271. Write a paper comprised entirely of footnotes/endnotes.
272. Borrow your neighbor’s lawn mower in the winter.
273. Have a bonfire indoors.
274. Suck up to somebody.
275. Spell potato like Dan Quayle.
276. Become an architect and design a room with no doors.
277. Scientifically discover the meaning of life.
278. Wear a white coat and talk loudly to yourself.
279. Send chain letters and sign your name.
280. Go to a foreign country and tell people they talk funny.
281. Smack people in the back and say you wanted to see if their face stuck that way.
282. Write a paper comprised of cliches.
283. Be a hyper junior high teacher that drinks too much Diet Coke (we’ll never forget you, Miss LeRoux!).
284. Ride a pogo stick indoors.
285. And wear a beanie.
286. Break promises.
287. Explain jokes.
288. Create a shrine to some evil person.
289. Write things that makes no sense.
290. Reenact a war in your house.
291. Tell people you’re a circus freak.
292. Tell people you want to be a circus freak.
293. Be a circus freak.
294. Triple space a report or use size 28 font, or both.
295. Fake your death.
296. Search for a vaccine for stupidity.
297. Give IOU’s as birthday presents.
298. Use Word to draw a picture instead of paint.
299. Say the word "Jeepers!" or "Golly!" after everything someone says.
300. Steal things from your friends in front of their face.
301. Promise you’ll return them, then follow rule 286.
302. Breathe really loud.
303. Test drive new cars just for fun.
304. Write a very long book about some people in England and France.
305. Make sure that the book has a stupid ending too.
306. Sing along when listening to the radio.
307. Carry around a briefcase in school.
308. Wear a lot of make-up.
309. Buy a siren and turn it on as you drive down the road.
310. When people ask you questions, answer: "I can't remember."
311. Loan people money and charge 25% interest per month.
312. Make people sign a contract to borrow a pen.
321. Randomly disconnect yourself from AOL.
322. Ask idiot questions for spite.
323. Ask people to get to the point because you'd rather not listen.
324. Ask "What if" questions every 3 seconds.
325. Scribble in someone's books as if they were coloring books.
326. Buy an Australian hockey team.
327. Spell e-mail addresses wrong so people never get the message.
328. IM someone every day.
329. Define words using the word in the definition.
330. Say "whoops" a lot.
331 State the obvious.
332. Say "Duh!" after everything someone says.
333. Fire a 21 cannon salute at 3 in the morning
334. Electrocute stuff.
335. Randoly omt leters frm yor sentencs.
336. Pretend to be a mime.
337. Build a large steeple atop your house and ring the bell accordingly for every hour.
338. Shine a large floodlight into your neighbor’s bedroom at two in the morning.
339. Tell corny jokes to someone and guffaw at them until you cough and sputter all over the unlucky person.
340. Be smarter than me.
341. Be dumber than me.
342. Pull coins out from unsuspecting victims' ears.
343. Drink fingernail polish for breakfast.
344. Show everyone you know your "deformed frog collection" from Mrs. Yats.
345. Make jokes about death and laugh as if they are hilariously funny.
346. Shred your parent's tax receipts before April 15.
347. Wear neon pink spandex outfits everywhere.
348. Go to the library, and randomly rearrange the books.
349. Go to the bookstore, and randomly rearrange the books.
350. Take all of the toilet paper in the restrooms out and use it to decorate your enemy's trees.
351. Make sure to get it up to the top.
352. Make hand gestures about every 2 seconds while talking to someone.
353. Spin in circles and get dizzy for an excuse to crash into people.
354. Or simply crash into people.
355. Chew on everything you find.
356. Play poker in class/on the job.
357. Stack the deck in euchre until someone realizes that you received three lone hands in a row.
358. Play "20,000 Questions."
359. Invent a game that is so stupid and pointless that everyone wins and no one cares.
360. Mumble to yourself while giving a presentation.
361. Pause a second after every word and 5 seconds after every sentence while giving a report.
362. Make advertisements about your family vacation.
363. Invent a game that is so violent/messy that the contestants are unrecognizable after playing.
364. Complain that "the game cheats."
365. Have five eights in your hand when playing crazy eights.
366. Play B.S. with two people.
367. Put two hotels on Boardwalk.
368. Make Kings and Aces wild in poker.

373. Own a 55-gallon drum of poison.
374. Put it on display.

376. Smile sweetly enough of cause tooth decay.
377. Secede from your country.
378. Count the number of annoying things you’ve done.
379. Criticize these rules.
380. Mow your lawn in the rain.
381. Throw a gallon of ice cream in someone’s swimming pool.
382. Question everything someone says.
383. Create a bogus tourist attraction.
384. Point the blame elsewhere.
385. Take a vacation in a motorhome and call it camping.
386. Install central air in your tent.
387. Create a series about nothing and cancel it while it’s number one.
388. Try to prove a postulate.
389. Invent your own language.
390. Never speak for yourself.
391. Start a cult.
392. Possess someone.

396. Write a mystery with no solution.
397. Carry a Lead Pipe around.
398. Show off a lot.
399. Whine constantly.
400. Cheer for people that do their homework correctly.
401. Desperately search for ways to be annoying.

403. Use potato chips instead of poker chips.
404. Eat the ante.
405. Be too nice.
406. Be too perfect.
407. Drool in a book.
408. Try to rub your eyes with your elbow.
409. Tell people where to put their feet.
410. Wear a 3 foot high hat everywhere.
412. Place arsenic with your spices.
414. Make a story with no point.
415. Fish with dynamite.
416. Hunt with dynamite.
417. Build a house out of dynamite.
418. Put it on the real estate market.
419. Begin a franchise of shops that sell jewelry and frozen yogurt.
420. Use the Wingdings font for anything and everything.
421. Attempt to decode the Wingdings font.
422. Set every clock you see ahead four hours.
423. Create a rental movie of static.
424. Tape a thumbtack to your doorbell.
425. Encourage people to sleep on beds of pointy needles.
426. Laugh aloud at a book.
427. Laugh aloud at this book.
428. Barge into a conversation.
429. Constantly change the subject.
430. Send e-mails one letter at a time.
431. Send a friend a COD for his/her birthday.
432. Tape episodes of "Barney and Friends."
433. Contradict yourself. No, don’t…
434. Create a business card without owning a business.
435. Yell at your TV when a contestant chooses the wrong letter on "Wheel of Fortune."
436. Ask questions you know no one can answer.
437. Fake a hyperventilation.
439. Chew with your mouth open.
440. Talk with food in your mouth.
441. Scrape silverware against your teeth.
442. Repeat phrase frequently.
443. Smile smugly.
444. Print 6 copies of everything.
445. Change the default setting in word to Wingdings, size 3, yellow, with three inch margins all around.
446. Pull pranks on May 1st because "April Fools Day is too predictable."
447. Ask people what their pet peeves are and then perform them.
448. Ask too many questions.
449. Yell really loud.
450. Raise you voice five octaves when you’re annoyed.
451. Talk inaudibly.
452. Make excuses.
453. Sue people. Waste our time. And your money.
454. Torture people by hanging them by their toenails.
455. Sink large ships.
456. Tell people they are possessed by an evil entity.
457. Point people in the wrong direction.
458. Jump on someone else’s bed.
459. Serve pink chicken.
460. Return restaurant food because it’s too plain.
461. Refuse to pay a restaurant bill.
462. Break everything in a restaurant.
463. Find flaws in people.
464. Prove people wrong.
465. If you can’t, insist they’re wrong anyway.
466. Build and open another McDonalds.
467. Put someone out of business.
468. Settle disputes by dueling.
469. Tell people they’re rude.
470. Forget everything.
471. Be greedy.
472. Scare people.
473. Be sarcastic. It’s fun.
474. Be gullible.
475. Wash your car in the rain.
476. Constantly chew on tin foil.
477. Say it’s good for you.
479. Be completely ignorant of the world.
483. Sit outside in the dead of winter under pine trees.
484. Pour acid on your lawn so weeds don’t grow.
485. Name any and all of your children Gene Finny.
486. Name someone so their initials spell a word.
487. Accuse people of being insane.
488. Or be insane yourself.
489. Run like Forrest Gump.
490. Jump hurdles in the snow.
491. Wave your crutches at everyone you know--or don’t know.
492. Tell people to "hurry."
493. Or "hurry faster."
494. Tell people to run while they’re wearing skis.
495. Ask everyone who Crispian is and why he has scars.
496. Fake a world War.
497. Speak in Latin.
99. Hold your own Olympics.
500. With trash cans and snowshoe races.
501. In the summer.
502. Demand people call you psycho.
503. Then say they’re lying.
504. Mispronounce someone’s first name.
505. Curl up and sleep in the snow.
506. In the summer.
507. Applaud for no reason.
508. Make people write critical analyses for no reason.
509. Compare and contrast people in different works for no reason.
510. Own a dozen empty ink pens.
511. Hide behind dead bushes in the winter.
512. Convince people you are invisible.
513. Change writing utensils in the middle of a paper.
514. Mock a courtroom.
515. Be a biased judge.
516. Pick unripened fruit and sell it.
517. Sell heaters in Arizona.
518. Lend pencils with broken leads.
519. Insist they don’t sharpen them.
520. Wear down the tips on markers.
521. Take all the lead out of borrowed mechanical pencils.
522. Assume all girls are named Sally and all boys are Fred.
523. Lock yourself out of your car.
524. Use duct tape to repair everything.
525. Call authority figures by first name.
526. Always assume.
527. Always plead the Fifth Amendment.
528. Ignore lawn maintenance.
529. Protest violence with bombs and 55-gallon tanks of cyanide.
530. Walk up to a gas-station attendant while smoking a cigarette and announce that you're a dynamite salesman. Then throw the cigarette in the back on your truck.


I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

The universe is laughing behind your back.

Those of you who think you know everything are annoying those of us who do.

Are you always this stupid, or are you just making a special effort today?

Do you ever get this terrible empty feeling… In your skull?

When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

You were looking good from afar.. now you're far from looking good.

You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement right away.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking that I think that you're thinking I'm thinking because if you think that I think what I think I'm thinking then we've got a problem?

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.

I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time

Be quiet, I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

If you were the last man on earth and I was the last woman, you would be the last man on earth and I would be the last woman.

You're not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Thou warped dread-bolted barnacle!

How many kinds of stupid are you trying to be?

If you had another brain, it's be lonely.

The human race is lucky I'm a nice guy, otherwise only 1/4 of them would be alive right now.

I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me!

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

I usually never forget a face, but for you I'll make an exception.

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being more intelligent.

"Nah. I've changed my mind." "Great, does this one actually work?"

"There is an emergency in the cockpit!"
"What is it?!"
"It's a small room in the front of the plane where the pilot sits."

The Jabberwocky:

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.

Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.


Child of pure unclouded brow
And dreaming eyes of wonder!
Though time be fleet, and I and thou
Are half a life asunder,
Thy loving smile will surely hail
The love-gift of a fairy-tale


Christmas hath a darkness
Brighter than the blazing noon,
Christmas hath a chillness
Warmer than the heat of June,
Christmas hath a beauty
Lovelier than the world can show
For Christmas bringeth Jesus,
Brought for us so low

Earth, stike up your music,
Birds that sing and bells that ring;
Heaven hath answering music
For all angels soon to sing:
Earth put on your whitest
Bridal robe of spotess snow:
For Christmas bringeth Jesus,
Brought for us so low


To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing

We Can't All And Some of Us Don't

One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
And ran to save the two dead boys.
And if you don't believe this lie is true,
Go ask the blind man, he saw it too.

My Country in Darkness by Eavan Boland

After the wolves and before the elms
the bardic order ended in Ireland.

Only a few remained to continue
a dead art in a dying land:

This is a man
on the road from Youghal to Cahirmoyle.
He has no comfort, no food and no future.
He has no fire to recite his friendless measures by.
His riddles and flatteries will have no reward.
His patrons sheath their swords in Flanders and Madrid.

Reader of poems, lover of poetry—
in case you thought this was a gentle art
follow this man on a moonless night
to the wretched bed he will have to make:

The Gaelic world stretches out under a hawthorn tree
and burns in the rain. This is its home,
its last frail shelter. All of it—
Limerick, the Wild Geese and what went before—
falters into cadence before he sleeps:
He shuts his eyes. Darkness falls on it.

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Survival Kit

Smarties: To keep you smart

A hand: Cause we all could use an extra hand at times

A toothpick: to help you pick out the good qualities in People

Gum: to remind you not to bite off more than you can chew

a Match: for when you feel burnt out

A Candle: just to brighten your day!

A Button: cause we all often need to button our lips

A Marble: In case you lose yours

An Elastic: to help you to stretch to your Limits

A Cotton-ball: to cushion your fall if the road gets rough

An Umbrella: to protect you from life's many showers

A lifesaver: cause we all could use a little saving

A Smile: cause they can be contagious

A Penny: for your thoughts cause someone should always be there to listen

A Nickel and Dime: in case someone is nickeling and dimeing you to death

A Quarter: to call someone who cares for you

And last but not least a Hug cause we all need hugs to get through this life.

Did you know...?

Kissing is healthy.

Bananas are good for period pain.

It’s good to cry.

Chicken soup actually makes you feel better.

94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.

Lying is actually unhealthy.

You really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.

It’s actually true; boys DO insult you when they like you.

89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.

It’s impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.

Chocolate will make you feel better.

Most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.

A good friend never judges.

A good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.

Boys aren't worth your tears.

We all love surprises.

Now... make a wish.

Wish REALLY hard!!


Your wish has just been recieved.

Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...

Your wish will be granted.

English Pronunciation

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

Copy and paste this acronym if you love Percy Jackson:

Perseus Jackson. Savior of Olympus.

Electricity. That's what will shock you if you mess with Thalia Grace.

Riptide. Percy's lethal ballpoint pen.

Clarisse. That's who will go after you if you beat her in a battle. (And you don't want an angry Clarisse. It's bad enough when she's not angry.)

Yellow duffle bags. Helped Percy, Tyson, and Annabeth.

Jason Grace. Thalia's "lost" little brother.

Annabeth Chase. Percy's girlfriend and official architect of Olympus.

Chiron. Trainer of heroes.

Kaleidoscope. What Piper's eyes look like to Jason.

Son of Neptune. The book we can't wait for.

Olympus. Home of the gods.

Nemesis. Ethan's mother. Don't worry, she's getting her revenge on his death.

Atlas. Zoe's father.

Never back down. The phrase that reminds me of TLO.

Dionysus. The god of wine. (More like the god of Diet Coke.)

Thalia Grace. Hunter of Artemis and daughter of Zeus.

Hephaestus. The father of our favorite fire boy. ;)

Empathy link. What Grover and Percy have. Saved Grover's life a couple of times.

Officers. The immortal skeletons dressed up as officers.

Lupa. The she-wolf we all want to know about.

Young. The gods often appear as young children.

Morpheus. The gods of dreams. Put NYC asleep during TLO.

Persephone. The kidnapped wife of Hades. Believes every hero is brave and wants to give them a chance.

Ichor. The blood of the gods.

Artemis. Goddess of the Hunt. Has hunters, including Thalia.

Nothing lasts forever. Even the gods.

Switched. Percy and Jason are switched. Jason at CHB, Percy at Legion Camp.

Harry Potter: Hogwarts Rules

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office.

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar.

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination.

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after me lucky charms."

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this year’s Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month."

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand.

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force."

13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work."

14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot.

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it.

16) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive.

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast.

18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug a Slytherin Day."

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.

20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor.

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort.

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling.

24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full."

25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell.

26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate.

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways.

28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their colors indicate that they're "covered in bees."

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

30) I will not go to class skyclad.

31) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core."

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion.

35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends."

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends."

37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.

38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine.

39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts.

40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of its clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"

41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck.

42) I do not have a Dalek Patronus.

43) I will not lick Trevor.

44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey."

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween.

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself too seriously.

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions.

48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.

49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice.

50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.

51) But yes, I will do it all anyways.

Song Lyrics:

Beauty and the Beast

Tale as old as time
True as it can be
Barely even friends
Then somebody bends

Just a little change
Small, to say the least
Both a little scared
Neither one prepared
Beauty and the Beast

Ever just the same
Ever a surprise
Ever as before
Ever just as sure
As the sun will rise

Tale as old as time
Tune as old as song
Bittersweet and strange
Finding you can change
Learning you were wrong

Certain as the sun
Rising in the east
Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the beast

Aladdin: A Whole New World

(Aladdin)I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering, splendid
Tell me, princess, now when did
You last let your heart decide?

I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways and under
On a magic carpet ride

A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming

(Jasmine)A whole new world
A dazzling place I never knew
But when I'm way up here
It's crystal clear
that now I'm in a whole new world with you

(Aladdin)Now I'm in a whole new world with you

(Jasmine)Unbelievable sights
Indescribable feeling
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling
Through an endless diamond sky

(Jasmine)A whole new world
(Aladdin)Don't you dare close your eyes
(Jasmine)A hundred thousand things to see
(Aladdin)Hold your breath - it gets better
(Jasmine)I'm like a shooting star
I've come so far
I can't go back to where I used to be
(Aladdin)A whole new world
(Jasmine)Every turn a surprise
(Aladdin)With new horizons to pursue
(Jasmine)Every moment gets better
(Both)I'll chase them anywhere
There's time to spare
Let me share this whole new world with you

(Aladdin)A whole new world
(Jasmine)A whole new world
(Aladdin)That's where we'll be
(Jasmine)That's where we'll be
(Aladdin)A thrilling chase
(Jasmine)A wondrous place
(Both)For you and me

Tangled : When Will My Life Begin?

7 AM, the usual morning lineup:
Start on the chores and sweep 'til the floor's all clean
Polish and wax, do laundry, and mop and shine up
Sweep again, and by then it's like 7:15.

And so I'll read a book
Or maybe two or three
I'll add a few new paintings to my gallery
I'll play guitar and knit
And cook and basically
Just wonder when will my life begin?

Then after lunch it's puzzles and darts and baking
Paper mache, a bit of ballet and chess
Pottery and ventriloquy, candle making
Then I'll stretch, maybe sketch, take a climb,
Sew a dress!

And I'll reread the books
If I have time to spare
I'll paint the walls some more,
I'm sure there's room somewhere.
And then I'll brush and brush,
and brush and brush my hair
Stuck in the same place I've always been.

And I'll keep wonderin' and wonderin'
And wonderin' and wonderin'
When will my life begin?

And tomorrow night,
Lights will appear
Just like they do on my birthday each year.
What is it like
Out there where they glow?
Now that I'm older,
Mother might just
Let me go...

Tangled: I See The Light

All those days watching in the windows
All those years outside looking in
All that time never even knowing
Just how blind I've been
Now I'm here blinking in the starlight
Now I'm here suddenly I see
Standing here it's all so clear
I'm where I'm meant to be

And at last I see the light
And it's like the fog has lifted
And at last I see the light
And it's like the sky is new
And it's warm and real and bright
And the world has somehow shifted
All at once everything looks different
Now that I see you

All those days chasing down a daydream
All those years living in the blur
All that time never truly seeing
Things, the way they were
Now she's here shining in the starlight
Now she's here suddenly I know
If she's here it's crystal clear
I'm where I'm meant to go

And at last I see the light
And it's like the fog has lifted
And at last I see the light
And it's like the sky is new
And it's warm and real and bright
And the world has somehow shifted
All at once everything looks different
Now that I see you

Mulan: I'll Make A Man Out Of You

Let's get down to business
To defeat the Huns
Did they send me daughters
When I asked for sons?
You're the saddest bunch
I ever met
But you can bet
Before we're through
Mister, I'll make a man
out of you

Tranquil as a forest
But on fire within
Once you find your center
you are sure to win
You're a spineless, pale
pathetic lot
And you haven't got a clue
Somehow I'll make a man
out of you

I'm never gonna catch
my breath
Say good-bye to those
who knew me
Boy, was I a fool in school
for cutting gym
This guy's got 'em
scared to death
Hope he doesn't see
right through me
Now I really wish that I
knew how to swim

(Be a man)
We must be swift as
the coursing river
(Be a man)
With all the force
of a great typhoon
(Be a man)
With all the strength
of a raging fire
Mysterious as the
dark side of the moon

Time is racing toward us
till the Huns arrive
Heed my every order
and you might survive
You're unsuited for
the rage of war
So pack up, go home
you're through
How could I make a man
out of you?

(Be a man)
We must be swift as
the coursing river
(Be a man)
With all the force
of a great typhoon
(Be a man)
With all the strength
of a raging fire
Mysterious as the
dark side of the moon

(Be a man)
We must be swift as
the Coursing river
(Be a man)
With all the force
of a great typhoon
(Be a man)
With all the strength
of a raging fire
Mysterious as the
dark side of the moon

Mulan: Reflection

Look at me.
I will never pass for a perfect bride,
or a perfect daughter.
Can it be I'm not meant to play this part?
Now I see,
that if I were truly to be myself
I would break my family's heart.

Who is that girl I see
staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection someone
I don't know?

Somehow I cannot hide
who I am, though I've tried.
When will my reflection show
who I am inside?

When will my reflection show
who I am inside?

Hercules: I Won't Say (I'm In Love)

If there's a prize for rotten judgement
I guess I've already won that
No man is worth the aggravation
That's ancient history, been there, done that!

[Muses] Who'd'ya think you're kiddin'
He's the Earth and heaven to you
Try to keep it hidden
Honey, we can see right through you
Girl, ya can't conceal it
We know how ya feel and
Who you're thinking of

No chance, no way
I won't say it, no, no

You swoon, you sigh
why deny it, uh-oh

It's too cliche
I won't say I'm in love

I thought my heart had learned its lesson
It feels so good when you start out
My head is screaming get a grip, girl
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out

You keep on denying
Who you are and how you're feeling
Baby, we're not buying
Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling
Face it like a grown-up
When ya gonna own up
That ya got, got, got it bad

Whoa: No chance, now way
I won't say it, no, no

Give up, give in
Check the grin you're in love

This scene won't play,
I won't say I'm in love

You're doin flips read our lips
You're in love

You're way off base
I won't say it
Get off my case
I won't say it

Girl, don't be proud
It's O.K. you're in love

At least out loud,
I won't say I'm in love

Pocahontas: Colors of the Wind

You think I'm an ignorant savage
And you've been so many places
I guess it must be so
But still I cannot see
If the savage one is me
How can there be so much that you don't know?
You don't know...

You think you own whatever land you land on
The Earth is just a dead thing you can claim
But I know every rock and tree and creature
Has a life, has a spirit, has a name

You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You'll learn things you never knew you never knew

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned?
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?

Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest
Come taste the sunsweet berries of the Earth
Come roll in all the riches all around you
And for once, never wonder what they're worth

The rainstorm and the river are my brothers
The heron and the otter are my friends
And we are all connected to each other
In a circle, in a hoop that never ends

How high will the sycamore grow?
If you cut it down, then you'll never know
And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon

For whether we are white or copper skinned
We need to sing with all the voices of the mountains
We need to paint with all the colors of the wind

You can own the Earth and still
All you'll own is Earth until
You can paint with all the colors of the wind

Little Wonders by Rob Thomas

Let it go,
Let it roll right off your shoulders
Don't you know
The hardest part is over
Let it in,
Let your clarity define you
In the end
We will only just remember how it feels

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders,
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours,
These small hours still remain

Let it slide,
Let your troubles fall behind you
Let it shine
Until you feel it all around you
And i don't mind
If it's me you need to turn to
We'll get by,
It's the heart that really matters in the end

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders,
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours,
These small hours still remain

All of my regret
Will wash away some how
But i can not forget
The way i feel right now

In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists & turns of fate
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away but these small hours
These small hours, still remain,
Still remain
These little wonders
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These little wonders still remain

Can You Feel The Love Tonight? - Lion King Version

I can see what's happening
And they don't have a clue
They'll fall in love and here's the bottom line
Our trio's down to two.
[In a sarcastic mock-French accent]
Ze sweet caress of twilight
[Back to normal, but still sarcastic]
There's magic everywhere
And with all this romantic atmosphere
Disaster's in the air
Can you feel the love tonight?
The peace the evening brings
The world, for once, in perfect harmony
With all its living things
So many things to tell her
But how to make her see
The truth about my past? Impossible!
She'd turn away from me
He's holding back, he's hiding
But what, I can't decide
Why won't he be the king I know he is
The king I see inside?
Can you feel the love tonight?
The peace the evening brings
The world, for once, in perfect harmony
With all its living things
Can you feel the love tonight?
You needn't look too far
Stealing through the night's uncertainties
Love is where they are
And if he falls in love tonight
It can be assumed
His carefree days with us are history
[Timon and Pumbaa]
In short, our pal is doomed

Can You Feel The Love Tonight by Elton John

There's a calm surrender to the rush of day
When the heat of the rolling world can be turned away
An enchanted moment, and it sees me through
It's enough for this restless warrior just to be with you

And can you feel the love tonight
It is where we are
It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer
That we got this far
And can you feel the love tonight
How it's laid to rest
It's enough to make kings and vagabonds
Believe the very best

There's a time for everyone if they only learn
That the twisting kaleidoscope moves us all in turn
There's a rhyme and reason to the wild outdoors
When the heart of this star-crossed voyager beats in time with yours

If We Must Die

If we must die, let it not be like hogs
Hunted and penned in an inglorious spot,
While round us bark the mad and hungry dogs,
Making their mock at our accursèd lot.
If we must die, O let us nobly die,
So that our precious blood may not be shed
In vain; then even the monsters we defy
Shall be constrained to honor us though dead!
O kinsmen! we must meet the common foe!
Though far outnumbered let us show us brave,
And for their thousand blows deal one death-blow!
What though before us lies the open grave?
Like men we'll face the murderous, cowardly pack,
Pressed to the wall, dying, but fighting back!

Claude McKay

And here I conclude my profile. Enjoy.

"There are no endings, just good places for new beginnings."

Have a good life!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Til Death Do Us Part by Kitty Smith reviews
Harry and Draco have an odd affliction... They must remain in contact or suffer fates worse than death! And now they have to survive the Triwizard Tournament? later dmhp drarry hpdm dracoxharry harryxdraco slash
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 44,328 - Reviews: 421 - Favs: 489 - Follows: 639 - Updated: 12/15/2014 - Published: 7/6/2009 - Harry P., Draco M.
Digging for the Bones by paganaidd reviews
Because of a student death, new measures are being taken to screen students for abuse. With Dumbledore facing an enquiry, Snape is in charge of making sure every student receives an examination. Abused!Harry. Character death. Sevitis. In answer to the "New Measures for Screening Abuse" challenge at Potions and Snitches. Yes, it is a "Snape is Harry's biological father" story.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Drama - Chapters: 62 - Words: 212,292 - Reviews: 6219 - Favs: 8,865 - Follows: 7,850 - Updated: 11/27/2014 - Published: 2/27/2011 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Insane Asylum Escapees by RuneWitchSakura reviews
This is a series of oneshots that involve Harry believing that everyone in the 'magical' world is insane. Starts with Dumbledore, Snape, and McGonagall getting Harry, instead of Hagrid, and goes in random order from there. Involves much sarcasm from Harry. Feel free to adopt.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 10,203 - Reviews: 1437 - Favs: 3,784 - Follows: 2,916 - Updated: 10/11/2013 - Published: 5/12/2007 - Harry P.
Scars by Sierra156 reviews
The Flock meet when they're put in a foster home together. They've all got a story- Fang blames himself for the death of his family; Max was abused by her father, and never really got over it. Read to find out the others' stories. Fax, Eggy, and no wings.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 28 - Words: 76,595 - Reviews: 1062 - Favs: 323 - Follows: 342 - Updated: 6/12/2013 - Published: 6/25/2011 - Max, Fang
Another Form of the Avian Bird Flu by St. Fang of Boredom reviews
So, Fang gets sick. The flu, to be exact. And, of course, he has to pull a whole 'Whining Macho Prince' thing about it. Max and Dr. Martinez deal with Fang's attitude, Iggy tries to boycott Campbell's Soup, the Flock play with a blender, and...FAX! Eggy!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 68 - Words: 103,238 - Reviews: 4224 - Favs: 1,129 - Follows: 830 - Updated: 3/13/2013 - Published: 10/3/2008 - Fang, Max
Candy Fax by bordeaux cookies reviews
FAX one-shots told through candy. Includes previous stories: "Chocolate Kisses" and "Red Hots". Please submit any candy you think would make a good, Faxy romance fanfiction. Thanks!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,903 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 4/13/2012 - Published: 2/22/2012 - Max, Fang - Complete
Of Death and Roses by Nico-lovin-4ever reviews
THALICO! This story is about Thalia and Nico fighting, laughing, but mostly loving. Has 47 chapters! Please skip to chapter 48 before you read though :
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 48 - Words: 84,209 - Reviews: 616 - Favs: 232 - Follows: 123 - Updated: 2/25/2012 - Published: 8/15/2010 - Thalia G., Nico A. - Complete
The Love of Fighting and Fighters by XxAngelWithWingsxX reviews
Maximum Ride: a black belt with a quick temper and an even quicker tongue. Fang Riley: a street fighter nicknamed Shadow, and known for his deadly silence. Put them together and you have one heck of a story. FAX. No wings. Continued by me.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 38,253 - Reviews: 385 - Favs: 205 - Follows: 140 - Updated: 12/30/2011 - Published: 2/12/2010 - Max, Fang - Complete
Chips and Voices by the12thcookie reviews
Max doesn't think much of the chip in her arm, but when powers and things taken for granted began to disappear, she realizes there's a lot more to it. Plus, she just might not be the only one being controlled. Action, and Fax.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 40 - Words: 83,848 - Reviews: 219 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 12/30/2011 - Published: 8/4/2011 - Max, Fang - Complete
Ultimate Cliche of a MR High School by independentwriter-137 reviews
You know the typical cliches, Lissa being a slut, Brigid being a cougar, Max the new kid, Fang the emotionless rock and yet suddely declare his love for Max. Well, I decided to do a parody to show how ridiculous these cliches are. WARNING: BIZZARE CONTENT
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,160 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 11 - Published: 12/21/2011 - Max, Fang - Complete
Pictures by crazyidea-inc reviews
A series of pictures of Harry and Ginny after the war. Spoilers for DH.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,066 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 12/4/2011 - Published: 5/25/2011 - Ginny W., Harry P. - Complete
Not Your Usual Veela Mate by Janara reviews
Draco is a Veela and guess who his mate is? I've tried to write a Veela story where the two don't jump into bed immediately, hence the title. Will contain Dumbledore bashing. HPDM LMSS AU from book 5
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 69 - Words: 417,467 - Reviews: 8720 - Favs: 7,163 - Follows: 6,390 - Updated: 7/25/2011 - Published: 9/8/2005 - Harry P., Draco M.
Valentine's Day by MidnightRose24 reviews
Nico & Thalia have never liked Valentine's Day. Fights, chaos, and monsters just make the "holiday" worse. Now camp is being attacked and a traitor is among them. Will they be able to stop them in time? *DISCONTINUED/IN THE PROCESS OF BEING REWRITTEN*
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 33,428 - Reviews: 395 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 6/10/2011 - Published: 9/10/2010 - Nico A., Thalia G. - Complete
The New Baby by mystery muffin reviews
ONESHOT-Teddy is feeling a bit upset about the arrival of a new baby at the Potters house.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 778 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/8/2011 - Teddy L. - Complete
Letters From Lily by Animic reviews
Lily Luna Potter commits suicide. This is her story. Lily/Scorpius
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,090 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/17/2011 - Lily Luna P., Scorpius M. - Complete
Symphony of the Fallen by ravensoulsister reviews
The Head Girl makes a mistake. Now the Head Boy is in the Hospital Wing with no recollection of who he is or who she is- but he certainly doesn't care enough to keep his perverse thoughts to himself. One-Shot. Rated M for naughty language and sex talks.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,419 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 274 - Follows: 30 - Published: 3/14/2011 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
All Is Well In Cliche Land by flYegurl reviews
We all know them. Those big, major cliches... Max is pregnant, Iggy can suddenly see again. But what about those tiny, minor ones that everyone overlooks? The ones that people don't even notice? Here's a tribute to those miniscule, yet overused cliches.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,551 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/8/2011 - Complete
Unintended Consequences by sbmcneil reviews
When Ron and Harry got into their fight while out hunting Horcruxes, Hermione ran after Ron leading to some unintended consequences. Even with the best of intentions, things can still go wrong.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 93,632 - Reviews: 952 - Favs: 2,180 - Follows: 834 - Updated: 2/20/2011 - Published: 10/1/2010 - [Harry P., Ginny W.] Ron W., Hermione G. - Complete
The Test! by katanakid14 reviews
Okay, I suck at summaries... Um, the Percy Jackson gang has to go on a long and dangerous the South where things get a little more insane than usual. Pairings are: Percabeth Thalico Groviper.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 44,352 - Reviews: 183 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 1/19/2011 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Complete
Boyfriend by Molly Raesly reviews
Potter was going to say that he wasn't my boyfriend. I couldn't let him do that. For the love of Merlin, I could not let him do that. I had to stop him. He couldn't tell her the truth. So I did the only conceivable thing I could think of. I kissed him.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 136,472 - Reviews: 2586 - Favs: 5,588 - Follows: 1,332 - Updated: 12/29/2010 - Published: 11/30/2009 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
So, What Now? by katanakid14 reviews
This is the sequel to The Test! Percy's parents are in China for a few weeks and he has to spend the time living with Annabeth. What insanity will unfold? What will happen to Percy and Annabeth's relationship? What's with Nico's pajamas?
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 30,651 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 9/1/2010 - Published: 5/12/2010 - Complete
The Death God Alliance by Asilda reviews
"Sorry," said the son of Hades, "but if I surrendered to an organization called the House of Life, my dad would kill me." After a run in with the Kanes, Nico unwittingly ends up becoming a host for the Egyptian death god Anubis.
Crossover - Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Kane Chronicles - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 76,032 - Reviews: 972 - Favs: 1,921 - Follows: 653 - Updated: 8/23/2010 - Published: 5/8/2010 - Nico A., Anubis - Complete
Scared Silent by St. Fang of Boredom reviews
Once upon a time, Subject 404 was the life of the lab, but one angry scientist changed all that in one instance of rage. A tragic look at how one Flock member may have came to be who he is today. Rated T for violence and Authoress Paranoia.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,090 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 17 - Published: 8/15/2010 - Fang, Jeb B. - Complete
Free as the water by MissingMommy reviews
Since Thalia convinced Percy and Annabeth to get together, things have taken a turn. Annabeth starts to dream about two kids. What could this mean? Percabeth and Thalico. NO FLAMERS!
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 51 - Words: 61,370 - Reviews: 906 - Favs: 281 - Follows: 163 - Updated: 7/18/2010 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Annabeth C., Percy J. - Complete
The World's Worst Proposal by padfootlover4eva reviews
Sirius has a video camera, and he films James Proposing to Lily. What will happen when Remus shows Harry the tape years later?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,433 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 30 - Published: 6/26/2010 - Harry P., James P. - Complete
Muggle Sarcasm and Rita Skeeter Don't Mix by jessica499499 reviews
Some morning are easier than others. I can't say anymore with out giving it away! This is: Slash, Drarry, Harry/Draco and just plainly Yaoi! You don't like it too bad!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 943 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 195 - Follows: 25 - Published: 3/8/2010 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
The Eldest Brother by EmRose92 reviews
During Kirk's long nights in Sickbay, he reflects on his relationship with Bones McCoy. It is something that goes deeper than friendship, and he finally recognizes it for what it is...brotherhood.
StarTrek: The Original Series - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,227 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 6 - Published: 1/4/2010 - J. Kirk, L. McCoy - Complete
Let's Play A Game by Zikkie reviews
Gazzy's sick, but that doesn't stop him and Iggy from humiliating Max...
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,230 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 15 - Published: 8/23/2009 - Max, Fang - Complete
Screwdriver by Zikkie reviews
Iggy and Nudge make a play about Max and Fang's future...
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 568 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 18 - Published: 7/22/2009 - Fang, Max - Complete
Timely Errors by Worfe reviews
Harry Potter never had much luck, being sent to his parents’ past should have been expected. 'Complete' Time travel fic.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 13 - Words: 130,020 - Reviews: 2137 - Favs: 9,185 - Follows: 2,607 - Updated: 7/7/2009 - Published: 4/15/2008 - Harry P., James P. - Complete
Rating by Phoenix Fanatic reviews
Fang, bored, starts to rate girls walking by along with Gazzy and Iggy. The trio gets more than they bargained for when a familiar-looking girl walks by. Fax, oneshot.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,844 - Reviews: 315 - Favs: 576 - Follows: 100 - Published: 4/5/2009 - Fang, Max - Complete
Conundrum by Phoenix Fanatic reviews
After a small accident, Max and Fang can hear each other's thoughts! Oh, my, this presents a number of challenges... and what if a certain company is interested in this development? -Fax- -Complete-
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 34 - Words: 102,806 - Reviews: 2446 - Favs: 886 - Follows: 417 - Updated: 1/11/2009 - Published: 9/16/2007 - Complete
Ten Ways by kikofreako reviews
I've told Max a thousand times... she just doesn't hear me. -fax-
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,311 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 176 - Follows: 15 - Published: 9/13/2008 - Max, Fang - Complete
Not mine to give away by MissLoonyxXx reviews
Remus realises something and Sirius doesn't know why his friend keeps rejecting the guys who ask him out. SLASH! SBRL just a small fluffy oneshot
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,970 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 12 - Published: 8/27/2008 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
Harry and Draco's Affair: The Poetic Version by faithwood reviews
I'll tell you a story, believe every word;, It's quite unique, nothing like you've ever heard;, In case you believed that, shame on you; This rhymes, yes, but truthfully, it's nothing new. POEM. Wait, don't run! Try it. HPDM. SLASH. Um, cracktastic.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,316 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 241 - Follows: 23 - Published: 8/7/2008 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
A Chocolate Kiss by XxVampireluvaxX reviews
“Were you flirting with me? On the floor?” Fang asked slowly. “Oh no, whatever shall we do?” I mocked, my eyes widened in horror. FAX One-shot.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,430 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 269 - Follows: 42 - Published: 4/12/2008 - Complete
Clarity by crazy about twilight reviews
Fang surprises Max by taking her to see the lunar eclipse, something she's never seen before. One-shot / Fax.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,464 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/22/2008 - Complete
Living Art by Krrimarte reviews
Fang's art work... Max's reaction... Life is but living art.Complete with Companion Piece attached
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,136 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 10/15/2007 - Published: 10/9/2007 - Complete
Last Letters by Krrimarte reviews
Iggy has a collection of letters. Now is the time to read them.oneshot
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,712 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 8 - Updated: 9/3/2007 - Published: 9/1/2007 - Complete
Midnight Inanity by Omnicat reviews
Ginny and Hermione sneak down for a midnight snack at Grimmauld Place and accidentally overhear a conversation between Moony and Padfoot. They find out that the Marauders are still very much alive in those two...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,514 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 186 - Follows: 25 - Published: 4/10/2007 - Hermione G., Sirius B., Remus L., Ginny W. - Complete
Claustrophobia by Celebony reviews
Harry's childhood comes back to haunt him. A HarryWeasleys bonding fic.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 38,049 - Reviews: 1035 - Favs: 2,488 - Follows: 667 - Updated: 2/13/2007 - Published: 11/27/2006 - Harry P., Arthur W. - Complete
I Tauwght I Taw A Putty Tat by angeltread reviews
Harry, in a freak Potions mishap, is turned into a tiny kitten! To make matters worse, Malfoy’s been assigned task of caretaker! SLASH
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 20,708 - Reviews: 1020 - Favs: 1,884 - Follows: 661 - Updated: 1/2/2007 - Published: 10/27/2005 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
101 Pick Up Lines by purtyinpink71121 reviews
This is a collection of the 101 pick up lines and clever asking outs that James used on Lily... and of course her smartass responses.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,947 - Reviews: 1178 - Favs: 1,793 - Follows: 326 - Updated: 12/24/2006 - Published: 12/17/2006 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Honestly, Headmaster by Meteoricshipyards reviews
Harry has to explain what happened last night to Headmaster Dumbledore.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,843 - Reviews: 395 - Favs: 2,452 - Follows: 438 - Published: 10/9/2006 - Complete
Raspberry Jam by vvc reviews
Draco tries not to think of his upcoming transition and the unwanted partner chosen for him by his father. Then he finds he may have a choice after all. Will the faith he puts into his choice be rewarded? HPDM A slow, soft romance.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 80,655 - Reviews: 1169 - Favs: 5,334 - Follows: 1,013 - Updated: 10/3/2006 - Published: 9/20/2006 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Couldn't Catch a Cold by Prince Edwin reviews
Harry Potter is ill, no matter how much he tries to deny it, and it isn’t magic that’s making him feel this sick. Draco Malfoy, acclaimed Slytherin opportunist, decides to take advantage of the circumstances. This story will contain SLASH HpDm.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 17,242 - Reviews: 240 - Favs: 813 - Follows: 131 - Published: 3/30/2006 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
The Cloak by Procrastinator-starting2moro reviews
Perhaps there was a deeper reason behind James’ fondness for his trusty old Invisibility Cloak, beside sneaking into Hogsmeade and wandering the castle past curfew? And why exactly will he not allow his girlfriend, Lily Evans, to wear it? One shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,329 - Reviews: 160 - Favs: 437 - Follows: 58 - Published: 3/27/2006 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
It Always Happens Under the Mistletoe by His Spectacles reviews
Ginny finally kisses Harry under the mistletoe! She’s ecstatic. Until Draco Malfoy intrudes and shows her the proper way to kiss Harry. My belatedChristmas 05 fic! HD SLASH
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,286 - Reviews: 728 - Favs: 3,605 - Follows: 527 - Published: 12/29/2005 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
The Joys of Sexual Education by Roslyn Drycof reviews
Seventh years must take sexual education, and GryffSlyth has Snape and McGonagall as their teachers. Students must be paired up to complete a final project. Harry and Draco hate theirs, but must do it or fail. HD, sim. mpreg
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 24,086 - Reviews: 708 - Favs: 1,917 - Follows: 384 - Updated: 2/26/2005 - Published: 2/9/2005 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Crazy Little Thing Called Love by romanticidiot reviews
Slash. SiriusRemus. Long One Shot. There is a concert in town of a very famous band whom Remus just happens to love. Sirius bought him tickets for his birthday, so what will happen when they get there ..?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,228 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 8 - Published: 2/22/2005 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
Across the Room by CloverRock reviews
“Why would you say that?” He asked, hopping on top of the tabletop, gazing at the two boys in question Draco rolled his eyes. “Cause I’m not a completely oblivious dunderhead?” [Complete. HPDM, SFDT]
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,416 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 291 - Follows: 25 - Published: 12/2/2004 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Escalation by venenatus.venustas reviews
COMPLETE. SLASH. "Would it be so bad for you to go out with me?"
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,689 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 427 - Follows: 51 - Published: 11/20/2004 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Snapshots by ElfFlame reviews
Draco wakes up in a strange place, with Harry Potter watching over him. Slash HPDM
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,015 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 202 - Follows: 19 - Published: 4/4/2004 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
How Not to Write Fanfiction reviews
And then... a package full of books fell into the dining pavilion. As Hephaestus read the cover, all the gods groaned. "Not again!" What is wrong with the world of fanfiction? Educational one-shots starring the gods.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,893 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 2/11/2012 - Published: 5/8/2011 - Zeus, Hermes