Author has written 2 stories for Harry Potter.
I'm of the opinion that, while life sucks, it's better than the alternative. I'm also of the opinion that spending the majority of my time as far away from reality makes life seem slightly better.
Stephanie Plum Series
Gallagher Girl Books
Other World Series
Gemma Doyle Trilogy
Maid of Secrets
Kate Daniels Series
Timber Wolves Trilogy
Emperor's Edge Series (Must Read)
Karen Marie Moning
Letters to Juliet
Panda Adventure (yes I know it's old)
101 Dalmatians (animated and not)
Masterpiece Mystery (most but not all)
To Do List:
16: old enough to drive
18: old enough to vote
21: old enough to drink alcohol
25: old enough to rent a car
30: old enough to begin dreading your birthday
35: old enough to not understand the references on Saturday Night Live
40: Old enough to complain about "kids these days"
50: Old enough to say, "I'm getting too old this stuff"
60: Old enough to demand a $2 discount at movie theaters
100: Old enough to yell, "BECAUSE I'M OLD!" as a valid excuse to do anything
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! We messed up!"
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you're not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!
FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap
I find this one just so funny! LOLBoys...
...are dumb, throw rocks at them.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this to your profile
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid.
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,
it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are,
the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef,
but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?
Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile!
This is this cat.
This is is cat
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is a cat.
This is dumbass cat.
This is busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat.
This is seconds cat.
Now go back and read the third word in each sentence from the top. Pass it on.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...
You talk to yourself a lot. (Alot meaning all the time...)
You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')
When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')
After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'
You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)
You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.
You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.
No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.
Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.
People think you have A.D.D.
You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason
Your friends stopped looking at you funny when you laugh for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile
25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
(Try telling your parents this next time they're giving you a lecture)
Me, behave? Seriously?
As a child,
I saw Tarzan almost naked,
Cinderella arrived home after midnight,
Pinocchio told lies,
Aladdin was a thief,
Batman drove over 200 miles an hour,
Snow White lived in a house with 7 men,
Popeye smoked a pipe and had tattoos,
Pac Man ran around to digital music while eating pills that enhanced his performance,
and Shaggy and Scooby were mystery solving hippies that always had the munchies.
The fault is not mine! ;)
Random Stuff I've collected
You know the world has gone crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the best and tallest person in the MBA is Chinese, The Swiss hold America's cup, France is accusing US of arrogance, and Germany doesn't want to go to war.
Percussive maintenance - the art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again
Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.
Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"?
Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk!
The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken!
Love your enemies. In case your friends turn out to be dumb shits.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Never argue with me, I'll drag you down to my level and beat you with a bat.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you!
Woman: But would you stay there??
I used to hate it when aunts and grandmas, used to come up to me at weddings and pinch my cheeks and say "Your next" "Your next". Well they stopped doin that crap when i started to do it to them at funerals.
There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.
Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that idiot upside the head
Pass it on...
Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
"Love your enemies! It really pisses them off"
"Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."
We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't a clue as to where thousands of Illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration!
"A good friend picks you up when you fall,a best friend picks you up and then trips you again."
Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
"Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.
Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock!
If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.
I'm a little teapot short and stout; here is my hande, here is my...other handle? crap. now i'm a sugar bowl
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiousity was framed.
“Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.” - Plato
Philosophical writing advice
I spent a lot of time as a volunteer in a nursing home in Amherst last summer. I was reading Dante's Divine Comedy to an old man, Mr. Shulman. One day, I asked him where he was from. He said, 'Just east of here, the Rockies.' I said, 'Mr. Shulman, the Rockies are west of here.' He did a voilà with his hands and then said, 'I move mountains.' That stuck with me. Fiction either moves mountains or it's boring; it moves mountains or it sits on its ass.
-David Foster Wallace
Subplots are like candy. Oh, sure, they may look colorful and sweet and tasty, but if you keep stuffing them in your face, then not only is your story going to get tremendously fat, but pretty soon it's going to find itself in a displeased-looking editor's chair with a thousand enormous plot holes in its teeth that now have to be filled in.
Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings. They did it by killing all those who opposed them.
Kurt Vonnegut's Tips on Writing (I post this, as though I follow them)
1 - Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.
2 - Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.
3 - Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.
4 - Every sentence must do one of two things — reveal character or advance the action.
5 - Start as close to the end as possible.
6 - Be a Sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them-in order that the reader may see what they are made of.
7 - Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.
8 - Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To hell with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.
Mental Hospital Phone Menu:
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital!
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
The Rules of Hogwarts
1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball (ohh...sorry Neville)
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office (so tempting!)
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter (omg so funny!!)
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick (yeah it's not that impressive)
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar (yeah he nneds two!)
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination (well there goes my inner-eye!)
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms" (but he is!!)
8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy. (oh yeah i made a fourtune!)
9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus's "time of the month" (ahhh his face was funny)
10) I am not allowed to make light sabre sounds with my wand (oh so that's why the teachers were giving me dirty looks)
11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals (yeah now he wants to train Pikachu)
12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force" (awwwww)
13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work" (whoops the first years are halloucinating again!)
14) I will not give you my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot (hehe snakey sock!)
15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it (so i can't use magic?!)
16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive (GRYFFINDOR!!...obvs)
17) I will not charm the suits of armour to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast (that was classic!)
18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day" (omg god their faces!!)
19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways (dun dundun da duuun)
20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor (awww)
21) I will not use the phrase, "Get a Life" when talking to Voldemort (again it's soooo tempting!)
22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy (may he rest i peace ;)!)
23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling (he gave me the evil-eye when i did that)
24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full" (ahh good times)
25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell (but it is!!)
26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate (scared the living daylights out of old professers as well)
27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways, not even on Halloween (oh for crying out loud!!)
28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their colours indicate that they're "covered in bee's" (hehe so funny)
29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge (yeah...and)
30) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core" (ALRIGHT HI-5)
31) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm, not even if they are in Slytherin (sorry snake-people)
32) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers (sorry dobby)
33) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion (ohh so that's why i got a detention)
34) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends" (haha lol so funny)
35) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts (ummm...okay)
36) I do not have an Edward Cullen Patronous (I HAVE PAUL)
37) I will not lick Trevor (but he's tasty!)
38) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labelled, "Firewhiskey" (oh...uh whoops)
39) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween (damn i now have no insperation)
40) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously (really?!)
41) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions
42) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet (thanks a lot!)
43) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice (well i guess i'm unemployed)
44) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God (awww come on!)
top 72 things to do in n elevator
1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
4. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.
5. Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
6. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
7. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
8. Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
9. Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
10. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
11. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
12. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
13. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
14. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
15. Swat at flies that don't exist.
16. Tell people that you can see their aura.
17. Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.
18. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
19. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
20. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
21. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
22. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
23. Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
24. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
25. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
26. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"
27. Put police tape in front of the door before entering.
28. Hold an auction.
29. Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.
30. Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.
31. Throw a rave.
32. Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."
33. Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".
34. Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.
35. Have a heated debate with yourself.
36. Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.
37. Drum on every available surface.
38. Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.
39. Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.
40. Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.
41. Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.
42. Propose to the other passengers.
43. Challenge people to duels.
44. Sell girl scout cookies.
45. Bring a large pile of ice. Build an igloo on the floor.
46. Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."
47. Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.
48. Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a lighter.
49. Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.
50. Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.
51. Shout "Food fight!"
52. Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"
53. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
54. Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.
55. Elevators were practically MADE for river dnce!
56. Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"
57. Make sushi.
59. Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Look relieved when it stops
moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.
60. Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.
61. Practice your kung fu.
62. Make race car noises when people get on and off.
63. Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"
64. Fly a model airplane.
65. Do yoga.
66. Play the accordion
67. Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.
68. Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.
69. Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.
70. Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."
71. Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word
72. Say 'I wonder what all these do?' Then push all the red buttons.
16. Stage a conversation with your shadow then when you walk through a shady area, scream that your friend is missing.
42 Things to do in an Elevator
(I know this is the second list but it has some new things)
1. CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. MEOW occasionally.
6. STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7. SAY -DING at each floor.
8. SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9.MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. STARE, gri nning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16. ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21. SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22. CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
23. MAKE car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. CONGRATULATE all for being in the same lift with you.
25. GRIMACE painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. WALK on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. WHILE the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. LET your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. WALK into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. TAKE shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. ASK people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. ALSO in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. ASK, "Did you feel that?"
34. TELL people that you can see their aura.
35. WHEN the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. ANNOUNCE in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. DRESS up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time...
38. START breathing heavily and grab your chest when someone walks in. Then stumble out gasping for air
39. WHEN someone comes in ask them to press 5 or 6 different floors
40. GET in and don't press any buttons. Wait for the elevator to be called somewhere and repeat 39.
41. IF you are the only one in the elevator, press all of the buttons and stand, staring at the door, waiting for someone to come.
42. LAUGH maniacally whenever anyone looks at you and say you're here for the mental health convention.
15 Things to do when your in Walmart!
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone," 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.(I love this one!)
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.."NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly,"There's no toilet paper in here!
15. Grab alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"
You've finally reached the end, did you enjoy your journey?
Unsafe External Link