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Joined 09-11-10, id: 2534679, Profile Updated: 12-21-10
Author has written 3 stories for Alex Rider, Twilight, Maximum Ride, and Hetalia - Axis Powers.

hello, as soon as I figure out how to upload a picture, I will. For now, I will go picture-less.

also, I will post many 'copy and paste' thingies on my profile, so watch out! Muhahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!

Ahem... excuse me. I will most likely post only crossovers, just letting you know. I only have two chapters up currently, but trust me, *darkly* there will be more. Muhahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

umm, I will post more, so please ignore my random bursts of evil laughter. Heh... :3

I now feel really bad for people who have to walk on cructhes. It really sucks!

For all those people, I hope that you get better soon.


I will be posting a NCIS/APH crossover as soon as I figure out how to finish the plot.

For my story 'Vampires don't sparkel', I will take it off of Fanfiction.net only if it recives 10 bad reviews grater than good/nuetral ones.

Now for copy and paste thingys!

Friend: Will help me learn to drive

Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away

Best Friend: Won't let me go away

Friend: Will help me up when I fall down

Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me

Friend: Will bail me out of jail

Best Friend: Will be sitting beside me saying "Dang, we screwed up"

Friend: Will go to a concert with me

Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me

Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs."

Best Friend: Calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad"

Friend: Asks me for my number

Best friend: Asks me for her number

Friend: Hides me from the cops

Best Friend: Is probably the reason are after me in the first place

Friend: Lets me make an idiot of myself in public

Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

Friend: Will comfort me when he breaks up with you.

Best Friend: Will call him, whispering 'Seven days...

Friend: Fade

Best Friends: Are 4 Ever

GIRL COMEBACKS!!

Boy Girl

“Where have you been all my life?”

“Running away from you.”

“Are you an angel from heaven?”

“No, I’m a vampire from hell.”

“Your place or mine?”

“Both, you go to yours, I go to mine.”

“Your feisty, I like that.”

“Your smelly, go away.”

“My dad owns the Café. I could get us really good seats.”

“My dad runs that hospital, and that’s where you’ll be if you keep hitting on me.”

“I have magic fingers. And they love to give massages.”

“I have a high kick. And they love to land on…”

"Did it hurt when you fell down from Heaven?"

"Yep. God said I was too evil."

FEMALE COMEBACKS!!
pick up line comebacks, add to it

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: Hey, are you single?

Woman: No, I have multiple personalities.

If you’ve ever made faces in front of a security camera then paste this on your profile

If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are against racism, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. The only race is humanity.

If you've ever totally screwed something up so bad it isn't even funny, copy this onto your profile

If you get bored easily post this on your profile.

If you would kill to have wings, post on profile.

If you have ever tried to grow wings, post this too.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you complain that your feet are cold and your mom tells you to put socks on and you don't just for the sake of being stubborn, copy and paste this to your profile.

and now for the most difficult quiz EVER!!

1)how do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator?

2)how do you put an elephant in the refrigerator?

3)if the king of the animals is having a party, and all the animals are invited, which one can't go?

4)if you've been invited to the party in 3, but had to cross a river in which killer crocodiles lived to get there, how would you get across?

and now the answers:

1) you open the door and put it in

2) you take out the giraffe and put the elephant in

3) the elephant, cause its in the fridge

4) swim across, the crocodiles only live there, at that moment they're at the party

the reason you might have failed is because school teaches you to overthink things. ask those questions to a 3 year old and they'll probably get some of them right

If you have ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this to your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE

If you think chocolate is a fruit, and therefore healthy, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that Twilight should be burned to a crisp, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think I should be burned for saying Twilight sucks, copy and paste this into your profile

If you often plan your friends painful and hilarious murders, copy and pate this into your profile

If you know someone named Gorge, copy and paste this into your profile

If you love fiction, copy and paste this into your profile

If you hate school, copy and paste this into your profile

If you would love to go into Twilight and say 'hey Eddie, I heard you're a 110 virgin with issues', copy and paste this into your profile

If you have a Fanfiction profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you hate Dora the Explorer copy and paste this into your profile

If you hate the Walt Disney corporation for butchering almost every classical fairy tale known to man, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think Cartman should stop being such a douchebag and tell Kyle he loves him, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think Chibi's are adorable, copy and paste this into your profile

If you like ice cream, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this onto your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you suffer from low self esteem, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you have just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you like animals, give one a home if you can. If you already have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this into your profile

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

if you do things for the fun of it, C&P this into your profile.

93 percent of teens would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the seven percent that would ask "what was your first clue?", copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Ivander Miley Phantom, Webber

The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk is good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

~pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.

I hate the Jonas Bros. if you do too, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're planning to form a mob to attack Stephenie's house because you want Midnight Sun now, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have a long list of fictional book/ movie characters that you are in love with, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that people on commercials talk funny or use phrases no human beings would ever say, copy this into your profile. (awooga is self explanitory)

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been the only one to think some really stupid joke was funny, copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with writing fanfics for certain pairings or reading them, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a wall before copy this into your profile.

37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..." (Who else imagines Edward doing this in New Moon?)

I Say Black
You Say Hannah Montana
I Say Avril Lavigne
You Say Jonas Brothers
I Say Linkin Park
You Say Zac Efron
I Say Everyone is better then Zac Efron
You Say Rap
I Say Rock
You Say I'm Weird
I Say Thank you
PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE IF YOU AGREE!

You say BABY PINK
I say BLOOD RED
You say HANNAH MONTANA
I say THREE DAYS GRACE
You say ZAC EFRON
I say AMY LEE
You say RAP
I say ROCK
You say Im WEIRD
I say YES I AM
92 of the teenage population has moved on to RAP.
If YOU are part of the 8 that still headbang and love rock then put this on ur site

Now for quotes and who I think would say them!

'There are very few problems that cannot be solved using a large amount of explosives.' -Iggy (from Maximum Ride)

'It is not enough to succeed; others must fail.' -anyone in Scorpia (from Alex Rider)

'Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.' -just about any sensible person

'You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor...' -Italy (because only Italy could something like this)

'When you laugh, I'll laugh. When you cry, I'll cry. When you jump out a window...I'll laugh.' -Edward Elric (from Full Metal Alchmist)

'A B C D E F G, I will kill your family.' -Ari (either from Maximum Ride or NCIS, you can choose)

People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it. -Prussia (From Hetalia Axis Powers)

-I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?! -anyone in the Flock (from Maximum Ride)

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"? -United Kingdom of Great Brittan and Northern Ierland

If you've ever walked into a wall before copy this into your profile.

Excuse me...have you seen my sanity? ...I think I lost it. (I found it in a penut jar and can't open the lid.)

Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey? -Japan (because he would take the time to p'oint out the little errors like this :3)

I don't obsess! I think intensely. -Belarus (proably when asked about her brother)

All the good ones are either dating someone, married, or fictional characters... -a bunch of my friends (and me!)

Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon. -America (when in one of his rare seirous moods)

When life hands you a lemon, squirt life in the eye and run. -Sea Land (from Hetalia Axis Powers)

Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run away. He hates that. -Prussia (proably speaking from prersonal experiance)

Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust? -Max (from Maximum Ride)

quiet? What does that mean? -Nudge (from Maximum Ride)

What’s a seat belt? -America (because he's that stupid)

EVIL=every villain in lemons -me

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who takes a step back to admire his work

At least 5 inanimate objects hate me -me

Whoever said that all girls were pretty obviously never seen Brittany Spears. -Poland (like, totally!)

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel... of course, it's usually the oncoming train -ALex (from Alex Rider)

Some people are like slinkies, they're good for nothing, but they sure make you laugh when you push 'em down a flight of stairs -Russia

Don't follow in my footsteps, I walk into walls -Italy

The shinbone: A device used for finding furniture in a dark room. -America

People who say anything is possible, havn't tried to slam a revolving door -America

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it! -Russia

My best friend say that I'm the type of person who'll spend hours trying to drown a fish, but they love me to death anyway. -Poland

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at sparring! -Seychelles (fish!)

You say I run like a girl, and if you run a little faster, you can too! -Hungary

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. -Jack (from Alex Rider)

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. -my friend Figgy

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? -Germany

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. -China

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. -France

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need vodka and snow. -Russia (ALL THE WAY!)

Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.- Max

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. -My Mom

Hard Work never killed anyone - but why take that risk? -Spain

Everyone needs to believe! I believe I'll go watch some more anime. -Me

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. -Romano (from Hetalia Axis Powers)

The trouble with life is that there's no background music. -Prussia

I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on! -Grandpa Rome

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. -Japan

Bad Spellers of the world, untie! -Me

Early to bed, Early to rise makes people suspicious... -Tony (from NCIS)

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. -Me

Junk is something you throw away three days before you need it. -UK

If at first you don't succeed, failure might be your thing. -Max

If at first you DO succeed, try not to be too astonished. -Hong Kong

Conclusion: The place when you got tired of thinking -Italy

When in doubt, Mumble -Swedan

I have Sarcasm, what's your superpower? -Max

Everyone has a photographic Memory, Some People just don't have Film -Cammie (From the Galligar Girl Seiries)

A friend Wipes a tear when Your Rejected. A Best friend goes up to him/her and says "It's because your gay isn't it?" -Me

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and say "Make your own lemonade" -UK

Stupidity killed the cat, Curiosity just got the blame -Germina

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire but it takes a whole box to make a camp-fire? -Germany

I Dream of a better tomorrow...Where chickens can cross roads and not have their motive questioned -Like, Poland, Totally~

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse -the BFT

A stranger stabs you in the front, a friend stabs you in the back, a boyfriend stabs you in the heart. but true friends only poke each other with bendy straws -Italy

I give you this rose and hope that you, unlike this rose, will not be cut down in your prime and your corpse displayed as a sign of affection -France

STOP CHID ABUSE!! Copy this into your profile if you think child abuse is SICK!!

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you wierd, copy and paste this on your profile.

When life hands you lemons, make pinapple juice, then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

Just because we eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, ect, copy this onto your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Orlando Bloom told them it was uncool to breathe, copy this into your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing you butt off.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach, The O.C. or The Hills, never have never will and proud of it copy this into your profile.

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you're like in a parallel universe, put this on your profile.

If you probably need a life but have no intentions of getting one, put it on your profile.

A large percentage of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you are one of the ones that do and want to deck 'em, put this in your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. (My personal record is 5~)

If you've ever ran into a lamppost or some other blatantly obvious metal pole, copy this into your profile.

If you're the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday copy and paste this into your profile

You know that you're addicted to NCIS when...

1. You have seen every episode several times and still never get tired of it.

2. You will yell if someone tries bothers you on Tuesday night when you are watching a new episode of NCIS.

3. You find yourself Gibbs Slapping people. (Or yourself)

4. You have had a dream about it or involving one of the characters.

5. You daze out while sitting at your desk and imagine yourself running along side Tony and Ziva with your gun drawn yelling, "Federal agents! Drop your weapon!"

6. You watch the movies that Tony has mentioned. As many as humanly possible that is.

7. You wish USA would put more than just three episodes a night on.

8. You have started using military refernces. Hit the head, scuttle butt, hit the rack, etc.

9. The majority of television you watch is of NCIS.

10. You smell something funny or hear a beeping sound and your mind goes to a chemical attack or a bomb.

11. You call people Probie and use McNicknames.

12. Your dog goes missing and you say to, "Put out a BOLO."

13. You try and convince every person you meet to watch it.

14. You use the term Hinky.

If any of these refer to you copy and paste it into your profile.

When someone says dirt, do you picture Hodgins freaking out?

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at first you don't succeed, change the rules. -Max

If you think Booth and Brennan need to wake up, smell the coffee and make out, copy and paste this into your profile

Tell the truth and run. -Prussia

Smile! It makes them wonder what you're up to. -Edward Elric

Generally, generalizations are wrong. -America

If you ever were told to go somewhere and you forgot why and you had to go back to find out copy this into your profile!

If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you think that blaming McDonald's for the obesity problem is like blaming Smith & Wesson for what happened at Virgina Tech, copy and paste this into your profile.

If Fanfiction to you is what Facebook is to other people, copy this to your profile.

If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you actually take the time to read other peoples profiles, copy this to yours.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

All the record holders in Guinness are in second place. They're all behind Chuck Norris. If you believe in this line, copy and post this on to your profile.

If you feel that half your day is spent being bored copy this onto your profile. (Actually most of that time is spent in la-la land...)

If you have ever gotten a song stuck in your head that you only know a few words to, and then gotten so fed up that you looked the lyrics up online just so that you could have something else stuck in your head, copy and paste this into your profile.

Cow farts are responsible for the emission of most of the planet's methane gas. If you think that those vegetarian people are actually polluting more than the normal cow-consuming person, copy and paste this into your profile, and then go eat a hamburger. -America

If you realize that copying and pasting stuff into one's profile is completely pointless, yet do it anyway, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you already have a gajillion of these "copy this into your profile" things, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile

If you DON'T check under the bed for monsters, but you DO check behind the shower curtain for monsters/murderers/Michael Jackson, copy this into your profile.

Ninety-three percent of the teen population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this if you would be part of the seven percent that'd be LAUGHING YOUR BUTT OFF!

If you hate Cartoon Network for the cancellation of the Teen Titans, THEN PLEASE COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

96 percent of teens won't stand up for Christ. If you are one of the 4 percent that will, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile (Stupid bugs.)

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!! XD

If you ever wondered who made up all the 'copy this into your profile' thingies then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! (I wonder all the time!)

If your profile is long copy this into it to make it even longer.

If you have ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, put this in your profile.

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects...copy this into your profile. (oh yeah...we all know what that is like)

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you hug cute toys when no one's looking, paste this to your profile.(I hug them when they are looking too!)

If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this into your profile.

If you're easily confussed or confuzzled add this to your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile

Chocolate chip cookies are the best!! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile

If you have an obsession, post this on your profile to tell all those who think that you aren't normal to get stuffed, because obsession RULES!

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile.

If you have ever slapped yourself on the head and/or banged your head on a table or wall for no reason, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever wondered why you exist and/or why your name is what it is then copy and paste this to your profile

I like cheese. I think the sky should be pink. How come we drive on parkways, but park on driveways? Or why are apartments called 'apartments' when they're all stuck together? Lemonade tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

Drugs are bad news. Spread the word. Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your bio.

Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile.

If you are a clutz like me, copy and past this into your profile.

If you think it's stupid that girls are automatically labeled with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever eaten something that grossed your whole lunch table out, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you consider being called weird a compliment, copy and paste this onto yout profile and add your name to the list. Commander Gecko S. Yes, that means that I started this. Snowfeather, Lonekit of ThunderClan, NCISaddict77,purplemonkeyz48, Thislife103.7, Webber

If you've ever walked into a window copy this onto your profile

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer. (geez, I love these ones!)

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

Ways to Annoy people at the cinema:

Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"

Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.

Clap when the good guy gets killed.

During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"

Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"

Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.

Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.

Yell out what is going to happen.

Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.

Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.

Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.

Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are.

Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.

Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.

Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.

Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.

Try to start a wave.

Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first.

Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.

Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"

Sing with the theme music.

Bring and use your own air freshener.

At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."

Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.

Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.

Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.

Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"

Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.

Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.

Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.

When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"

Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.

Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?"

Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.

Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.

Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat"

Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.

Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.

When someone walks by you in the aisle scream, "Ahhhhhh! Bad Touch!"

Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself.

Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.

During a love scene, stand up and run to the screen shouting "Hooters!"

Before the movie begins, tape fart cusions to various chairs in the theater room.

Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.

Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!"

Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!"

Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"

Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer’s name is going to be said.

Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.

Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one.

Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes.

Pass by a room that’s showing a movie you’ve already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the ending.

Have you become a conspiracy theorist since you started watching? ... the CIA are watching you. NO! Don't turn around! they'll know that you know that they are watching you!

If you've ever walked into a wall because you were looking sideways at a friend, copy this into your profile.

If you can't walk up or down stairs without looking at them, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever felt like something was watching you and then turned around to find nothing, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate all the ads popping up while you're trying to read some story, copy this into your profile.

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are anti-social sometimes, copy this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vice versa, copy this into your profile

WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and

point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds".

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - with a serious face.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day at work.

14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

19. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity . . .
Post this on your profile.

As far as TV...I have four letters for you.

NCIS. Mark Harmon, Michael Weatherly, Cote de Pablo, Pauley Perrette, Sean Murray, Rocky Carroll, David McCallum, Brian Deitzen.
Enough said.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic... 'Nuff said.

NCIS QUOTES=MY LIFE

Gibbs: Got your 911, Abs. What's up?
Abby: Ready to have your world rocked again?
Gibbs: I'm barely over the first time.

Gibbs: What'd you find in his nose?
Ducky: Cellulosic fiber, lignin.
Gibbs: Wood.
Ducky: Ah, sawdust, to be precise.
Tony: Hey boss, don't you have some kind of weird thing about women and sawdust? I mean... I... don't... think it's weird

Kate: All I'm saying is that... things on the surface are not always the same as when you put them in context with the way they actually developed, you know, under the surface, kinda.
Tony: I have no idea what you said.
Kate: Neither do I. But the intent was sincere.

McGee: Now all we have to do is scan 800,000 miles of satellite imagery and pray we get lucky.
Abby: I am a scientist, McGee. Luck has nothing to do with it and/or us.
McGee: Okay, then how do you explain something like Gibbs's gut?
Abby: Well, that's easy: Gibbs is lucky.
McGee: But... but you just said that...
Abby: He's not a scientist.

Gibbs: Abs, do you have him?
Abby: smug Are you seriously asking me that?
Gibbs: deadpan No, I called to flirt.

Gibbs: to a suspect Your track record for the truth is unimpressive.

(McGee is trying to convince Abby to let him into the lab)
Abby: Just a second! I'm... I'm in the shower!

Ziva: What is this place?
Lieutenant: That's classified.
Tony: Classified? What do you got in there? Aliens? Bigfoot?
Ark of the Covenant? (no response from Lieutenant) That only leaves one thing.
Tony, Ziva and McGee:(In unison) Unicorn.

Tony:(after Ziva caught him with her deodorant) I'm not
gonna feel bad, those ground radar techs didn't show up
til dawn, McGee and I watched the sunrise together... it
was very brokeback mountain.

Marine: What's your clearance?
Tony: About 6 foot 1 and a half. Why, you got low ceilings?

Gibbs: You know how I feel about coincidences, Abbs.
Abby: Equatorial pygmies know how you feel about
coincidences, Gibbs.

Marine: Why you jumping with us, Sir?
Tony: Always wanted to jump. Agent Gibbs came along
to laugh

McGee: In sixth grade I made the entire periodic table out of
licorice and Junior Mints

Tony: On your six boss. Hey you haven’t forgotten about that screen saver Ziva?
Ziva: Actually I had. Thanks for reminding me.(looks at Mcgee)
Tony: What are friends for?

Gibbs: My second wife played golf left-handed.
Kate: So?
Tony: When someone tries to split your skull open with a
seven iron, it's not a club you soon forget

Tony: Just think...if we die in here, your life would have had
more meaning if you'd slept with me.

Gibbs: He's already dead. Rigor mortis is set in.
Ziva: How do you know he's not faking it?
Gibbs: Well shoot him if you don't believe me.

Kate: I believe him.
Gibbs: Of course you believe him, it's
a chick flick. In a guy flick, you steal the money, you set a
guy up to take the fall, you murder him and you marry
his wife.

McGee: It's jazz, helps me clear my mind.
Tony: Coltrain is jazz, McGee, this is a soundtrack
to a bad seventies porno shot in the San Fernando
Valley.

BEST QUOTE/CHARACTER INTERACTION/MOMENT:

Ziva: Oh, that hurt.
Tony: No it didn’t. Didn’t we get out fill of secret agendas and lying during the previous
administrative?
Ziva: Look, I too hoped that things would be different by now--
Tony: Like to give Vance a piece of my mind
Ziva: With the way you’re losing it I don’t think you have much to spare.
Tony: Take that toothpick of his and shove it up a Sec-Nav cigar
Ziva: Maybe if you’d had some form of military training, you would learn to follow orders
Tony: What like you?! We were given a direct order not to engage, I recall that you threw
the first punch!
Ziva: It was a reflex!
Tony: Oh, really? What about the other time? Last thing I remember before the lights went out
was you kimbo-slicing your way through a room full of guards, that a reflex?
Ziva: Yes. It was! Gunshot went off, I saw you…
Tony: I’m tired of pretending.
Ziva: So am I
Tony: It’s dinner theatre for an audience of one. When does the curtain go down?

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things

If you are really random, put this in your profile.

If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile.

~Even when you can't see Him, GOD is there! Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it

This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

~Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest telling us to sit down and shut up.

~ I got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the w's

~ A true idiot climds a glass wall to see what's on the other side.

~When life gives you lemons, you make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it. When life gives you more, you throw them back, because really, who likes lemons? And when it gives you even more, squirt them in their eyes and see how much life likes lemons then.

~Guns don't kill people. People kill people.

~You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

~A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend/girlfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

~A good friend will bail you out of jail. But a Best Friend will be sitting next to you saying "Let's do it again!"

~I used all my sick days so I called in dead.

~You're just jealous because I'm the only one the voices talk to.

~The extinction of the dinosoars was no accident. Barney came along and they all committed suicide.

~Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

~Welcome to the dark side. We have cookies!

~Before you criticize a person, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and have their shoes!

~An idiot is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire their work.

~Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss!

~Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible?

~I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly.

~WARNING- lost kids will be sold to the circus

~There are three kinds of people- those who count, and those who can't.

~Warning: trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.

~If I throw a stick, will you go away?

~The grass may be greener, but it's just as hard to mow!

~If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off.

~I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

~I like you. When I rule the world your death will be quick and painless.

~If someone told most people they were weird, most people would disagree. I would ask what their first clue was.

Mental Hospital Phone Menu:

Hello and thank you for calling The StateMental Hospital

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, geez!

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is also wondering, "Is there a letter in the alphabet that can't be pronounced without another, other than E? Like... B would be... be or bee..." Crazy is when you run into a wall on accident and then run into it again on purpose. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could blackmail you with it!
A simple friendship is over when you have an argument. A real friend calls you after you had a fight.
A simple friend expects to always be there for them. A real friend expects to always be there for you.
A simple friend sleeps in with you until 2 in the afternoon. A real friend screams, "WAKE UP, FREAK!" in your ear, while laughing hysterically at 8:00 in the morning.

If you have ever seen a movie or read a book so many times that you can quote it word for word, and do so at random moments, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you believe some teachers are seriously prejudiced, copy an paste this in your profile

If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If keyboards hate you, copy and paste this.

If you have ever tripped on a person, copy this into your profile.

If you have sudden mood changes out of nowhere copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever lost someone (animals count) you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are so cool that you actually read through all of these (there's more BWHAHAHAHA!!), copy this into your profile!!

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile.

If you think rap is the most God-awfulest thing to ever be called "music," and that rappers are wanna-be's who are being paid to make fools out of themselves and can't even sing, copy and paste this into your profile.--And always remember. Crap can't be spelled without spelling rap.

If you aren't one of those wanna be pop stars that shop at name brand stores, copy this to your profile!

If you have ever wondered why the heck Canadians and Americans have to spell 'color' differently, and use different units of measurement, copy this to your profile.

If you get way to excited for books, movies, ect. to come out, copy this into your profile

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

-If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile and add your name to the list. Scarheart of RiverClan, Swiftpaw of WindClan, Moonstream-Sunstripe, RamenMasterTogi, awesomest one ever, angel1210005, Thislife103.7, Webber

YOUR PROFILE

I have the ability to trip over flat ground

I'm not random, I just have many thoughts...

If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile.

Humanitarians help humans but vegetarians EAT vegetables.

Some people are alive only because its illegal to kill them.

We're not retreating...we are simply advancing in another direction.

Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.

It's people like you that make people like me need medication.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as the go by.

If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile.

If it drives you insane when you someone asks a question and you answer it and they say why and so you answer that and then they say why again and you answer that one and it goes on and on until you can’t answer anything anymore, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Don't follow me... I'm lost too.

Poke me. I dare you.

Doctors say I have Multiple Personalities. We disagree with that.

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt... then it's hilarious.

DON'T DRINK WATER: fish have sex in it.

Dain bramaged.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

You can't make a person love you. You can only stalk them and hope for the best.

Come to the dark side. We have cookies.

I know Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me. I'm afraid of widths.

If at first you don't succeed do it like your mother told you!

If it's tourist season...why can't we shoot 'em?

What not to say to a police man..."can you hold my beer while I get out my licence?" "I thought you had to be in good shape to be a cop." "You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?"

When a police man asks if you knew how fast you were going don't say, "You should know moron your the one who pulled me over!" but it is okay to think it.

"Ociffer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God"

There are two kinds of Pedestrians in the world; The quick and the dead!!

Right now I'm having Amnesia and Deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before...

Sarcasm is your bodies natural defense against stupid!

I finally got my head together and than my body fell apart!

I only do what the voices tell me to do!!

Growing old is mandatory! Growing up is optional!!

One of lifes many mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make you gain five pounds!!

Marraige is finding the special someone to annoy for the rest of your life!

I don't do perky!

I didn't say it was your fault! I said I was going to blame you!!

My computer beat me at chess however is was no match for me at kickboxing!

There are no stupid questions. Just stupid people!

We could learn alot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty, and some are dull. Some have weird names and all have different colors, but they all hve to be in the same box!

Never underestimate stupid peope in large numbers!

Why did the bee go to the doctor? Because he had hives

Why did the gull fly over the sea? Because if he had flied over the bay, he would've been a bagel

If you know the number of the garbage masher maintenance hatch in A New Hope, copy and paste this into your profile. (3263827!)

If you get really annoyed whenever you see a Harry Potter book, movie poster, preview, or any other type of paraphernalia related to the Potter books, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you haven't read any of the Twilight books and don't feel incomplete in any way for not doing so, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you nearly kill yourself laughing whenever you see one one of the Night at the Museum movies, copy/paste this into your profile.

... you've memorized the Jedi code.

... you refer to children as 'younglings,' elevators as 'turbolifts,' and bathrooms as 'refreshers.'

... you have looked for Ewoks when entering a wooded area.

... you address your teachers as "Master."

... you have attempted to use a glowstick as a miniature weapon.

... when an object was out of your reach, you have extended your hand toward it and expected it to come to you.

... you wave you hand in front of you to open automatic doors.

... you have quoted lines from the Star Wars movies unintentionally.

... you have ever been surprised to open a refrigerator and find that the milk is not blue.

... you know how to write in Aurebesh.

... you have ever insulted someone by calling them 'sleemo.'

... you have painted or drawn a picture in which there are at least two suns in the sky.

... you understand any of this.

If ever you find yourself talking, and then suddenly you realize that you don't know what you are saying, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.

If you spend time reading such things as these and find the as intriguing as I, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your prof

Tips for Beginning Fanfictioners and Writers

1. NEVER EVER HAVE AN OC CONTEST!

2. Mary-Sues are always bad. No exceptions

3. Children of canon characters that you made up are nearly always Mary-Sues. Especially if they're girls.

4. Never read an OC fanfiction from Harry Potter or Danny Phantom.

5. Never write an OC fanfiction for Harry Potter or Danny Phantom

6. Never model your story after Twilight. It will end very badly.

7. If your going to crossover something, make sure it makes sense.

8. Never have the "I'll update after I get # of reviews," author's note. It can turn off the want to review in a second.

9. When reviewing stories, never just write Update Soon, Great Story! Make sure it's at least longer than a sentence.

10. Write because you want to write, not because the reviewers want you to write. This will hurry the story and nearly no one can pull off a hurried chapter.

11. Be descriptive. There's no such thing as too much description.

12. Have a good, sensible plot. Even if it's good writing, It will end bad if there is no plot.

13. Be prepared for your plot to take a different direction than you started with.

14. Expect the unexpected.

15. If someone flames your story without leaving a reason why they hate it, you either ask why they hated it or just ignore the review. Flamers are idiots.

16. There's a difference between a constructive reveiw and a flame. If someone tells you how your story can be improved, do not yell at them. They're just trying to help.

17. If you have a favorite writer and want them to review a story, just ask them to, it's a compliment to the writer but honestly, don't expect them to read it. You'd be surpised how many turn it down.

18. When someone leaves you a constructive review, become friends with them. They'll help you so much.

19. Don't be afraid to write in different genres, this will expand your area of expertise and you'll be surprised what you're good at.

20. Write plenty and write often. The more you do it, the better you get. There's not a difference between Author's block and laziness. (apparently, I need to follow my own advice. XD)

APRIL IS

National Humor Month, International Guitar Month, Keep America Beautiful Month, Lawn and Garden Month, Poetry Month, National Pecan Month, National Welding Month, Records and Information Management Month, Stress Awareness Month, Sexual Assault Awareness Month.

Weekly Celebrations:

Week 1 Library Week, Week 1 Read a Road Map Week, Week 2 Garden Week, Week 3 Organize Your Files Week, Week 3 Medical Labs Week, Week 4 Administrative Assistants Week, Week 4 National Karaoke Week

Each Day:

1 April Fool's Day

1 International Fun at Work Day

1 International Tatting Day

2 Children's Book Day

2 National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day

2 National Walk to Work Day - first Friday of month

2 Reconciliation Day

3 Don't Go to Work Unless it's Fun Day - we know your decision

3 Tweed Day

4 Hug a Newsman Day

4 Walk Around Things Day

4 School Librarian Day

4 Tell a Lie Day

5 Dyngus Day always the Monday after Easter

5 Go for Broke Day

6 Plan Your Epitaph Day - a little morbid if you ask me

6 Sorry Charlie Day

7 Caramel Popcorn Day - Most likely created by a popcorn maker, or an Ecard company.

7 No Housework Day

7 World Health Day

8 All is Ours Day

8 Draw a Picture of a Bird Day

9 Name Yourself Day

9 Winston Churchill Day

10 Golfer's Day

10 National Siblings Day

11 Eight Track Tape Day - do you remember those?

11 Barbershop Quartet Day

11 National Submarine Day

12 Big Wind Day - this day blows me away!

12 Russian Cosmonaut Day

13 Blame Someone Else Day

13 Scrabble Day

14 Ex Spouse Day

14 International Moment of Laughter Day

14 Look up at the Sky Day - don't you have anything better to do?

14 National Pecan Day

14 Reach as High as You Can Day

15 Rubber Eraser Day

15 Titanic Remembrance Day

16 National Eggs Benedict Day

16 National High Five Day third Thursday

16 National Librarian Day

16 National Stress Awareness Day

17 Blah, Blah, Blah Day

17 National Cheeseball Day

17 Pet Owners Independence Day

18 International Juggler's Day - also applies to multitasking office workers

18 Newspaper Columnists Day

19 National Garlic Day

19 Patriot's Day - third Monday of the month

20 Look Alike Day

20 Volunteer Recognition Day

21 Kindergarten Day

22 Girl Scout Leader Day

22 National Jelly Bean Day

23 Lover's Day

23 National Zucchini Bread Day - they hold this at a time when you are not sick of all that zucchini.

23 Take a Chance Day

23 World Laboratory Day

24 Astronomy Day - date varies

24 Pig in a Blanket Day

25 East meets West Day

25 World Penguin Day

26 Executive Admin's Day (Secretary's Day)

26 Hug an Australian Day

26 National Pretzel Day

26 Richter Scale Day

27 Babe Ruth Day

27 National Prime Rib Day

27 Tell a Story Day

28 Great Poetry Reading Day

28 Kiss Your Mate Day - guys, do not forget this one. Kiss her, then read her some poetry.

29 Greenery Day

29 National Shrimp Scampi Day

30 Hairstyle Appreciation Day

30 National Honesty Day

These are some things too make my profile longer than yours

If life gives you lemons, make grape-juice, than cackle with glee as everyone wonders how the hell you you pulled that one off.

If life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand oranges.

If life gives you lemons, throw them at people.

Curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back.

Curiosity killed the cat, but remember, cats have nine lives.

Reality is what you make of it, so your a flying penguin and I'm a smurf.

Don't walk to school, glide!

"I think your crazy" said #1" I thought we already established that that?" said #2 "She's just trying to strop you from killing her"said #3 "Oh, right"

Boys are like trees, they take 50 years to mature.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes, then you're a mile away and have their shoes!!

"If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', then what's the opposite of 'progress'?"

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?"

42.7 of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they'll all think your on drugs.

Be Quite Voices! Or I'll Poke You With A Q-Tip

put this in your file if you're a procrastination addict

RULES FOR LIFE AT HOGWARTS (For Muggleborns only. The Purebloods won't get it. SUCK ON THAT, MALFOY!!XD)!

1) Seamus Finnigan is not after my lucky charms.

2) I do not weigh the same as a duck. Nor should I try to act like one.

3) "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

4) I will not sing "We're off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.

5) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.

6) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.

7) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda.

8) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.

9) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy.

10) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month".

11) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals.

12) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin quidditch matches.

13) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

14) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Bat Mobile, Robin!".

15) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.

16) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor.

17) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental.

18) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny. Even if he is wearing an orange anorak.

19) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends".

20) I will not dress up in a Dementor's suit and use a dustbuster on Harry's lips to make him do what I want.

21) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.

22) I will not hold my wand in the air before casting spells shouting "I got the power!".

23) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell "Ni!" from various directions. (Highly inappropriate, albeit very funny.)

24) I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance when I enter a classroom.

25) It is not necessary for me to yell "Bam!" every time I apparate.

26) I will not steal Griffyndor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallway.

27) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls.

28) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.

29) I am not allowed to begin Herbology class by singing the theme song to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes".

30) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them Smurfs.

31) The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife.

32) "Draco Malfoy, take it up the arse" is not an acceptable quidditch chant.

33) I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.

34) I am not allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur.

35) It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall that she takes herself too seriously.

36) "Y'all check this crap out!" is not an appropriate way to announce that I am about to conduct an experimental spell.

37) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort.

38) I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevy. (He will take you up on it.)

39) I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy.

40) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.

You were bullied a lot in your childhood
You adore pasta, pizza, cheese, and fruit.
You're very happy-go-lucky
You constantly have a dozy look on your face as if you're always away with the fairies
You have a long curly strand of hair that always tends to stick up
You're a good artist
You can be clumsy
You have a friend you always depend upon if you mess up something
If your life was in danger, you would do the typical Italian thing and say: "PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I HAVE RELATIVES IN YOUR COUNTRY!"
You would surrender in a war situation

North Italy

South Italy (Lovino/Romano Vargas)

You love tomatoes
You tend to say "goddamn" and "bastard" to everyone, a lot
You tend to get irritated easily
You have a long curly strand of hair that always tends to stick out
You hate French people
You rely on people too much
You would surrender in a war situation
You often feel like people are after your inheritance
You are lazy at times, and you are horrible at cleaning



Germany (Ludwig)

You're very stoic and serious
Sausages are your favourite foods. (they would be, but I don't get them enough)
You like to walk dogs/your dog
Your boss/principal/tutor/home-room teacher is a nut-case.
You love rules and think they should always be followed to
You think the world would be better if everyone played by the rules
You work very hard too hard...
Your alone time is your 'happy time'
You can appear tough but be very considerate towards people
You've had issues with money once or twice

Japan (Kiku Honda)

You're very mature (not at all~~~)
You think everything over before saying it. -laughs histericly-
You believe in ghosts but aren't phased by the experience when you see one
You isolated yourself during childhood
You became very successful in a short amount of time
You are somewhat inexperienced when it comes to the outside world (my god yes...)
You can seem cold/aloof to other people
You're good at practical tasks
You need time to adjust to new people

The United States of America (Alfred F. Jones)

You love hamburgers
You think you're awesome
You love to invent things
You love going to the cinema/watching films/making films
You can seem to be very brash to other people
You have a tendency to stick your nose into other peoples' business
You're terrified of ghosts
You know aliens exist
You tend to wear a bomber jacket all the time
You wear glasses



The United Kingdom of England, Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland (Arthur Kirkland)

You like tea
You were quite tough and troublesome as a kid
You're very sarcastic and cynical
Your cooking is awful
You love spiritual magical stuff, such as fairies, ghosts...
...But you refuse to believe in aliens.
You have tried doing black magic before (come on, every kid has had to once, right?)
You get drunk quite easily.
When you are drunk, you tend to be very unhappy

France (Francis Bonnefoy)

You're very affectionate
You think you have a great fashion sense
You like wine (I don't drink alcohol)
You're the master of whispering romantic things into peoples' ears
You love red roses
When it comes to l'amour, you don't mind men or women
You're very proud of yourself
You love culture and the arts
You're very flamboyant
You say you're a gourmet

Russia (Ivan Braginski)

You had a very sad childhood.
You're very tall
You have a tendency to switch between personalities
You wear a scarf all the time
You love sunflowers
You love vodka
You can seem intimidating to other people
You're very strong
You have a big nose
You have a strange laugh that can scare people

China (Wong Yao)

You're very mature ((not at all~~~))
You're very superstitious
You're very religious
You love pandas
You love cooking so much that you nag if food has a certain pattern of tastes
You love Hello Kitty
You try to be a role-model for your brothers/sisters/whatever, but are never taken seriously.
You work hard
You're good at drawing
You like sweets

Austria (Roderich Edelstein)

You are very well-raised
You're polite
You love classical music
You like cake
You have a mole on your face
You dedicate your time to your hobbies rather than what needs to be done right away
You are a virtuoso/play very well on at least one instrument
You've composed music before
You tend to call people 'morons'
You wear glasses

Canada (Matthew Williams)

You're often ignored by people
You look younger than you actually are
You love hockey
You love polar bears
You hate fighting
You have one strand of curly hair, like Italy
You often get mistaken for someone else
You feel under-appreciated

You're bilingual
You always carry a bear with you

Cuba

You smoke
You're very physically strong
You've won a lot of fist-fights
In your social circle, there are two brothers - you get along with one, but not with the other.
You have very strong emotions about a variety of topics
You like hot weather
You can be very friendly from time to time
You look very tough on the outside
You make a very nice role-model
You don't let people get a word in edgeways

Hungary (Erszebet Hédeváry)

You have a potty-mouth
You like to wear flowers in your hair
You used to be a very tough kid
You're very reliable
It's better to have you as a friend rather than an enemy
You're very faithful
Your speech and mannerisms can be considered very unladylike
You and your best friend go together like chalk and cheese.
You are graceful one moment and grinning like a maniac the next
If someone yells that yaoi is going on somewhere, you will drop everything to run off to go and see it.

Prussia (Gilbert Weillschmidt)

You're quite mean-spirited
You're a bit of a hooligan
You're very loyal
You're very good at tactics
You hate Russia
You love to fight people
You can avoid marriages quite well
You're not always taken seriously
You like drinking
You want to become stronger

If you love to sadistically torture your favorite characters in your stories, copy and paste this onto your profile.

You know you have been reading too much lemon when:

1. when you skip to the 13, 15, 17, and the epilogue of Empathy.

2. you read the sequel

3. you don't remember the last time you read a yaoi story without lemon

4. you made a list of tips on how to write a lemon

5. you gave it to your friend

6. you write your own lemon

7. you post it on fanfiction.net

8.you made the phase "lemony goodness"

9. you and your friend say it all the time

10. you copy/ paste this onto your profile

HETALIA SURVEY!!

You start laughing hysterically at maps…

You go “Aww” when you see two or more flags together.

You’ve learned more history from it than from an actual history class.

You debate about details like whether the number on America’s back is supposed to be 50 or 96…with supporting screenshots.

You watch APH MADs.

You got a Nico Nico Douga account despite not knowing a single word of Japanese so you could watch even more APH MADs.

World War II starts sounding romantic.

Your teacher asks why you put “Alfred F. Jones” as the answer instead of America, and why you drew a small heart and the name “Arthur” beside it.

You yell “Yeah, he’s the hero!” whenever someone says America.

You misread UK as UKE every single time, and have started mispronouncing it in actual conversation.

You know every country’s flag and location, and people think you must be a huge history nerd, and really, you’ve become one.

You shudder every time you hear the name “Russia” or “Ivan” and quickly glance over your shoulder… just in case.

Whenever you see a fellow Hetalia fan, you shout, “Germaaaannnnyyyyy!” down the hallway.

You write down your favorite pairings all over your history lecture notes, leaving others to wonder what “USxUK”, “Spamano”, “GerIta”, “Giripan”, etc. mean.

You end every sentence with “aru.”

You scream ’PASTAAAAAAAAAA’ every time you happen to have some.

You can’t imagine a functioning Italian mafia.

You want Prussia back on the map. (…The awesome Prussia demands you to do so.)

You can no longer say “international affairs” with a straight face.

No one can mention a country without you thinking about what they look like in Hetalia.

You read a historical book and think it would make a good fanfic.

Other people don’t get it when you say your country’s cute.

You’ve listened to Romano’s Delicious Tomato Song like…80 billion times.

You’re a duke/duchess of Sealand.

You’ve become a thousand times more patriotic.

You find the NEED to travel the world. Like your life depended on it.

You can’t take history/social studies class seriously anymore.

You remember Canada Day BEFORE the 4th of July, as in, you completely forget about America’s birthday. And you’re American.

You want to learn every single language in the world. Even the weird ones.

You recognize which flag belongs to which country, while everyone just looks at you funny.

Everyone who’s named Alfred, Arthur, Peter, Matthew, and Francis is forever linked to Hetalia.

You started using gendered pronouns when talking about countries.

Rather than just being happy that it’s another nation’s Independence Day, you feel the need to rush to the store and get a birthday cake with that nation’s name on it.

Your suggestion for a solution to any world issue is to “SEIZE THEIR VITAL REGIONS!!” Joking or not.

You suddenly wish that you could retake your boring history classes even though it’s all about other countries invading your country and your country isn’t even in Hetalia.

You forced all your otaku friends to love Hetalia.

You actually think about spending your savings to buy any useless Hetalia merchandise.

You laugh inside when you tell people that you’re writing historical fiction now.

You use fanfiction as a study guide. And it helped.

You thought of putting Hetalia characters on your world map in your room.

When they threw the shoe at Bush, you wonder if Alfred managed to duck too/got hit/was laughing his ass off.

You seriously asked your parents if you could go out and travel next summer.

You would rather have nation-tan’s military uniforms than any other clothes.

You feel sad that you don’t own a good world history book.

You think about “VITAL” when someone mentions anything that sounds like “regions”.

You can’t stop thinking about fanfiction cosplay ideas.

You imagine what it would be like if you were a nation-tan with population of one.

You start questioning / looking up your own genetic/ethnic history/make up, just because you want to know if you’re somehow connected to your favorite characters.

You had no idea what you were getting yourself into when you first found out about Hetalia, but by the middle of chapter 2 of the main story, you realized you had an imaginary I.V. of Hetalia hooked up straight into your veins.

You designate all of your friends as a specific country based on their personalities… whether they accept it or not!

You find yourself downloading the national anthems of your favourite nations, listening to them frequently and trying to learn the words.

Going to the airport is more fun than going to Disneyland.

You watch protesters burning any country’s flag in the news and you want to cry even if it’s not your country.

You find yourself glued to Discovery, National Geographic and the History Channel and get frustrated when your friends or family ask you to change the channel.

The “special relationship” between the US and the UK takes on a whole new meaning.

Slang or words from other languages/dialects enter your regular speech even though they’re not common in your language/dialect.

You travel to a foreign country and find it amusing that you were “in” that country.

Destinations that you would’ve never otherwise heard of, let alone thought of traveling to, enter your list of “places to visit before you die”.

You’re considering fandubbing a song that has nothing to do with Hetalia as a Hetalia character.

You cry at the thought of never getting a chance to see the world before you die.

You suddenly start researching for the sake of writing or drawing.

You now insist on calling Hello Kitty ‘Shinatty-chan’.

You start buying things because they remind you of a character from Hetalia. And sometimes you really don’t need them.

You spend hours looking at maps trying to see if Sealand’s on any of them.

You find yourself bragging about the fact that you know that Sealand’s a country and everyone else, even your history teacher, doesn’t.

You randomly quiz your sister/parents/hapless friends about different countries.

The dimension 5 meters becomes REALLY FUNNY.

You don’t mind that you can’t cook because it makes you more similar to Arthur.

You have dreams about Hetalia characters.

You’ve dragged other people into the fandom.

You can’t say ‘pasta’ normally anymore - it’s always PASTAAAAAA~~!

No one knows your sense of humor anymore

Stop the Pairing Wars!

By copying and pasting this in your profile, you vow to respect other pairings and the people that like them.
You shalt not insult them, explain why they can't be together, or say that they would rather be with someone else.
You shalt have your opinions, but shalt not insult pairings.You shalt avoid them if you hate them.
You shalt keep an open mind about stories even if you despise the pairing.
You shalt paste this in your profile.

If you call book characters "Cute" even though you've never actually seen them, copy this to your profile

If you think that Eragon is hotter than Murtagh, copy this onto your profile

95 of people would panic if the Jonas brothers stood on the roof of a 3 story building and said they were about to jump. If you are one of the 5 who who get all of your friends, some popcorn, and a soda and scream "JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!" copy this.

If you've ever had a dream and forgotten what it was about before the dream even ended, copy and paste

There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror. If you told a lie it would suck you in. One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in. The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in. Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.

ROTFLOLASHTINCBISAGOWO TTARUTDIAIOA - Rolling on the floor laughin out loud and so hard that i nearly choke but i see a glass of water on the table and reach up to drink it and im ok again

ROTFLSHVUAKOMAIL- Rolling on the floor laughing so hard Voldemort uses Avarda Kedarvra on me and I live

I'm The Kind of Girl who would...
I'm the kind of girl who walks into a door and apoligizes.
I'm the kind of girl who would rather act stupid than smart.
I'm the kind of girl who would burst out laughing in a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
I'm the kind of girl who would get fired at the M&M's company for throwing out the w's.
I'm the kind of girl who would rather love a guy from a book than in real life.
I'm the kind of girl who gets drunk off soda and loves every minute of it.
I'm the kind of girl who pays attention to the details, then forgets everything in the next minute.

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, your Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "DAMN! You shoulda gotten on that llama and I shoulda gotten on the zebra. We would have been home free."

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you're not upset anymore.

FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Have you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Lose your stuff. But that's okay, you never returned the shirt you borrowed from them either.

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will tell off the crowd that left you and tell you that you're too good for them anyways

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will keep a secret when you tell them one.
BEST FRIENDS: Will tell you a funny secret back to make you laugh.

FRIENDS: Stick around at a party until the cops show.
BEST FRIENDS: Stay with you when you get arrested for drinking the spiked punch and claim to be drunk too, even when they weren't.

FRIENDS: Say bye, when you move and forget you ever existed.
BEST FRIENDS: Stay in touch and even fly over to see you and mooch off your food, just like old times.

FRIENDS: Know when to leave you alone, and do.
BEST FRIENDS: Know when to leave you alone, but don't anyway.

FRIENDS: Are gone after graduation.
BEST FRIENDS: Turn up at your wedding.

FRIENDS: Know where your limits are.
BEST FRIENDS: Know where your limits are and try to get you to break them.

FRIENDS: Help you out in a rough situation.
BEST FRIENDS: Get themselves into a rougher one to try to get you out of yours.

FRIENDS: Defend you in a verbal fight.
BEST FRIENDS: Throw the first punch for you.

FRIENDS: Comfort you after a break up and tell you he's not worth the fight
BEST FRIENDS: Will skip beside you singing "Someone's gonna get it" with a baseball bat

Pyshcology Finals

A psychology professor at the University of Miami knew his students expected a terrifyingly long final exam.

To play with their minds a little (what do you expect from a psychology professor?) he only put ONE question on the final exam.

He watched the reactions of the students as they all opened the exams and saw the one question.

Initially they all looked relieved, but as the difficulty of the question began to sink in, those relieved faces sagged to confusion and consternation.

All, that is, except for one student.

He read the question, tapped his pencil into his palm a few times, then jotted something down on the test paper.

He walked up to the professor, handed him the final, and walked out.

The professor blinked in surprise, looked at what the student wrote, and smiled.

The professor wrote "100" on the top of that student's test.

The question: What is courage?

The student's answer: This is.

Here is 30 things to do in an exam if you know your going to fail it anyway:

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly. (if someone actually does this please tell me)

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Masturbate.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

12 things you shouldn't say to a police officer

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas )
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other
cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says "Gee Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

Pick the month you were born:
January-I kicked
February-I loved
March-I kissed
April-I licked
May—I did the Macarena with
June-I smelled
July—I jumped on
August-I had lunch with
September-I danced with
October-I sang to
November-I yelled at
December-I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1-a birdbath
2-a monster
3-a phone
4-a fork
5-a snowman
6-a gangster
7-my mobile phone
8-my dog
9-my best friends' boyfriend
10-my neighbor
11-my science teacher
12-a banana
13-a fireman
14-a stuffed animal
15-a goat
16-a pickle
17-your mom
18-a spoon
19- - a smurf
20-a baseball bat
21-a ninja
22-Chuck Norris
23-a noodle
24-a squirrel
25-a football player
26-my sister
27-my brother
28-an ipod
29-a surfer
30-a llama
31-A homeless guy

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White-because I'm cool like that
Black-because that's how I roll.
Pink-because I'm crazy.
Red-because the voices told me to.
Blue-because I'm sexy and I do what I want
Green-because I think I need some serious help.
Purple-because I'm AWESOME!
Gray-because Big Bird said to and he's my leader
Yellow-because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange-because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway
Brown-because I can..

Other-because I'm a Ninja!
None-because I can't control myself!

Combine and see what you get!

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful

Only I can change my life no one else can do it for me

You cant expect people to look eye to eye with you if you are looking down at them

People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care

Best friend's are the sisters God forgot to give you

I do it because I can, I can because I want to, I want to because you said I couldn't :P

Never tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon

The power of imagination makes us infinite

It takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but an entire lifetime to forget them.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? I just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda

If you are a cereal killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM MY CHEERIOS!

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!

Be a loser! Because being cool is soo overrated!

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends. No offence guys.

People are like slinkies, basically useless; and yet it's so amusing to watch them fall down stairs.

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much

Don't mess with me I've got a stick.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid

You're just jealouse because the voices are talking to me

"I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned."

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

If at first you don't succeed, Then skydiving isn't for you!

"Who died and made you Wolf?" (Anyone from the AR universe should get this)

My personal motto, 'If you can't beat them, join them; if you can't join them, kill them; if you can't kill them, blow them all to kingdom come!"

I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you.

Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.

You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today.

Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide

If it wasn't for physics and law enforcement I'd be unstoppable

There are two kinds of people: those who categorize people and those who dont care. Can you guess which one I am?

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problem.

I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

You don't have to be faster than the bear; you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun!

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

Enjoying the "Great Outdoors" would be better if it were great.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor's cute, screw the fruit!

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. sizzles

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

No Trespassers! Violators will be shot, survivors will be shot again.

Don't thank me for insulting you, it was a pleasure.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people

Sometimes I Wonder, "Why is that frisbee getting bigger?" and then it hits me!

The voices in my head may not be real but they still have pretty good ideas...

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Normal people make good pets.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

Where negotiation and diplomacy fail, high explosives substitute nicely.

I didn't say it was your fault, I just said I was going to blame you!

Silence is golden, but duck tape is silver.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction!

Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and you LOSE that it's weird.

One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!

Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: The quick and the dead.

Yeah! I love wearing straight jackets, too! I get to hug myself!

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

It's funny till someone get's hurt, the it's freakin hilarious!

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Love me or hate me. Personally, I could care less.

Promises mean everything, but once they're broken, "I'm sorry" means nothing.

Joe: Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...

There is no shame in not knowing. The shame lies in not finding out.

My imaginary friend thinks you have some real problems.

BRB, my fish just drowned

I am getting sick and tired of slitting the throats of the people who say I'm a violent psychopath!

OMG! The rain's wet!

Life is a job. Death is the Lord's way of saying, "You're fired." Suicide is human's way of saying, "I quit." Immortality means, "I like my job."

My thermometer is sick! Get the thermometer…oh wait…

Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.

Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the first one.

If your going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty.

I'm not afraid of the dark. I'm afraid of the ninja's that hide in the dark.

And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be?

Somewhere, were depriving a village of it's idiot.

The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.

"I called your boyfriend gay and then he hit me with his purse."

You think you're all that and a bag of chips. Well I'm all that and a bag of skittles. So taste my rainbow, bitch.

Beware the flying donkey, falling from the sky. You can choose the way you live my friend but not the way you die!

Don't aggravate me, I'm running out of places to put the body's.

Don't be so humble. Your not that great.

You're a good friend, but if the zombies come, I'm tripping you.

I am in my own little world but it's okay. They know me here.

Can't stand me? Then sit down.

You have to take the good with the bad, smile when you're sad, love what you've got, and remember what you had. Always forgive, but never forget, learn from your mistakes but never regret. People change, and things go wrong, but just remember: life goes on.

What's this thing you call "normal"? Is it contagious? OMG! Don't touch me! I might catch your "normal"!

For the millionth time! I can't go to Hell, they have a restraining order against me!

I want a man that when I come running up to him with tears streaming down my face, the first thing he says is, "Baby, whose ass do I have to kick?"

This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence.

People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers.

Never knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run! Death hates that.

I did not hit you, I just high-fived your face.

One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!

Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.

I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.

Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over.

You're intoxicated by my very presence.

He gave her twelve roses. Eleven were real and one was fake. He said I'll love you till the last one dies.

Sir, you are like a pin, but without either its head or its point.

A man was completely drunk and stripped all of his clothes off, turning to a woman and yelling. "WHADDAYA THINK OF THAT!" The woman simply raised an eyebrow. "Well...it looks sort of like a dick. Only a lot smaller"

It doesn't matter if I'm right or wrong, I'm still the one with the gun.

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are...or cheat and italicize them like I did /shot)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
(I don't think that. I'm straight btw)
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one". (I'm a girl)
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player. (I'm a girl)
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork. (It's true!)
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino. Or a vampire
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker. (I love Japan, Prussia, Russia, and all the guys in Hetalia that have blond hair and green eyes [except Poland. I'd love Poland if he wasn't such a girl])
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant. (Have I ever told you that I kind of hate it here sometimes?)
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo. (Never heard this one before)
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent. (I wish I was Canadian!)
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers. (I love beavers!)
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER! (Or a vampire)
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE. (not always!)
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY. (I assume that the gay stereotype is for guys, but I'm STRAIGHT!!!! [And a girl])
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.

Name twelve of your favorite Axis Powers Hetalia characters in any order.
1) Prussia
2) Russia
3) Japan
4) Germany
5) Italy
6) Canada
7) Lithuania
8) Estonia
9) America
10) Switzerland
11) Latvia
12) UK

1) Have you read a five/ten fic before?

Italy/Switzerland? wow...can you say crack?

2) Do you think three is hot? How hot?
YES, Oh MY GOSH WORDS CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO TO DISCRIBE HIS EPIC HOTTNESS!!!

3) What would happen if six got one pregnant?
CANADA got PRUSSIA pregnant?! holy cow, I always thought that Prussia topped.

4) Do you recall any good fics about nine?
No, but is that really even surprising?

5) Would seven and two make a good couple?
Can you say rape?

6) Four/eight or four/nine?
hmmm... Germany/Estonia or Germany/America... Proably I would choose Germany/America

7) What would happen if seven discovered three and eight in a secret relationship?
"Please getout out of Russia samas house, I do not want to clean up after you two."

8) Make a summary of at least twenty words for a two/six fic.
Oh cheese...

"Whait would happen when the small nation that no one ever noticed becomes one with Russia? Was it forced or consentual? Join our detectivs America, Japan, Germany, and Italy as they unravle this complacated mystery!"

9). Is there such a thing as a four/ten romantic fluff story?

No, this paring would only end up as Germany has a sore butt and Switzerland really needs to clean his favorite hand gun.

10) Suggest a title for a one/five Hurt/Comfort fic.

Forgotten feelings

11. What kind of plot would you use for a three/eleven fic?
From my previous knowledge, crack fics have no plot :3

12. Does anyone on your friends list read number seven het? What about nine slash?
She would for Seven het, and for nine slash, she has actually read something very similar to what wouyld happen in a Germany/Switzerland fic

13. If you wrote a songfic about number nine, what song would you chose?
Either "America, F*k yeah!" or "American Idiot"

14. If you wrote a two/three/six fic, what would the warning be?
WARNING: SEVER CRACK, NOT FOR THE WEAK HEARTED, IF YOU ARE NURSING OR PLAN ON BECOMING PREGANNT, OR IF YOU HAVE ANY CHEST PROBLEMS

15. What pick-up line might eight use on five?
hEY iTALY, WOULD YOU LIKE SOME MEAT BALLS WITH YOUR PASTA?

16. Challenge: Write a drabblefic for ten/eight.
Okay, but it will take a while.

17) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?
Stutter for about fifteen seconds before running out of the room with the exucse of having paper work to do, while actually calling Hungray, Japan, and Tiwan to tell them to activate the camras in that room.

18) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One?
insest rape :3

19) Does anyone on your friends list read Seven slash?
yes

20) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?
yes

21) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?
Yes, And he looks epic

22) Would you write Two/Four/Five?

only if it was a compleate crack fic ;3

23) What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?

nothing, he would be topping (I think)

24) When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

Umm, proably about three days ago, I think.

25) What is Six's super-secret kink?

Maple syrup o//O

26) Would Eleven shag Nine? Drunk or sober?

I think that Latvia would never shag anyone, and I find it very unlikly that he would get drunk at all.

27) If Three and Seven get together, who tops?

Lithuania, because before Russia got to him, he was kinda like a male Hungary.

28) "One (Prussia) and Nine (America) are in a happy relationship until Nine suddenly runs off with Four (Germany). One, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven (Latvia) and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve (UK), then follows the wise advice of Five (Italy) and finds true love with Two. (Russia)" What title would you give this fic?

Prussia hooks up with Latvia for a night after having an affair with UK when America suddenly decided to leave the awesome him for his stick up the a* younger brother and is so confused that he goes to Italy for advice and ends up loving the very person that had tourtured him, separated him from his brother, scarred him for life and basicly killed him.

29) How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon?

I think that Poland would be very sad and that something was wrong with Russia for allowing two of his Baltic nations to form a type of alyance.
Adios, amigos!!

Webber, out! PEACE!!!!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Twilight: APH Style by Phoenix-Fire Power reviews
Bella is replaced with me. The daughter of Ivan Braginsky and Alfred Jones. Let's see what those sparkling vampires will do now. Rated T for violence. Not to be taken seriously. Humor and parody story. On hiatus.
Crossover - Twilight & Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 8 - Words: 11,922 - Reviews: 259 - Favs: 202 - Follows: 194 - Updated: 8/21/2011 - Published: 6/5/2010
Run in with the Feds by Riley61 reviews
Maximum Ride is accused of murdering a Naval Officer. With NCIS in charge of the investigation, and Max in a constant struggle to get out of there as soon as possible, it's a wonder anyone gets out alive.
Crossover - NCIS & Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Crime - Chapters: 9 - Words: 26,565 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 5/25/2011 - Published: 3/16/2010 - Max - Complete
Ice Shards by K. Fang-sama reviews
One assignment leads to another, but he questions why it lead to this one. This average day, our youngest taicho goes undercover in order to protect the NCIS team. But, if acting like a child is such a pain, why does he not mind with a certain man?
Crossover - NCIS & Bleach - Rated: T - English - Drama/Crime - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,709 - Reviews: 98 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 194 - Updated: 4/2/2011 - Published: 9/21/2010 - Leroy Jethro Gibbs, T. Hitsugaya
A Hundred Ways to Die by jazsqr reviews
The Volturi needs a lesson taught in Forks, Washington, and they have just the right person for the contract. AU/AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Crime/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,277 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 1/23/2011 - Published: 11/17/2009 - Bella, Edward
When A Curse Goes Wrong by SpazzyRussian reviews
Italy manages to anger England at a World Conference. England proceeds to use his occultic habits to the fullest, and curses the little nation. Oh dear...Germany's in for quite a shock. Rated T for unmentionables and gender confusion. Fem!involved.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,123 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 161 - Updated: 11/23/2010 - Published: 9/29/2010 - N. Italy, Germany
A blonde and a brunette fall off a building by BedazzledFanfic reviews
A blonde and a brunette fall off a building. Which one hits the ground first? I asked the twilight characters this joke. Read what they replied with.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 374 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/28/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
He's a fairy! by Starksarrowgirl reviews
What happens if you put Edward Cullen in a room with Ash, Quinn, Poppy, and James? Trouble for Edward! Oneshot!
Crossover - Twilight & Night World series - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 437 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 11 - Published: 8/25/2010 - Edward, Ash R. - Complete
Fiona and Ziva Walk Into a Bar by Redconky reviews
Two fiercely independent women who know how to hold their own cross paths unexpectedly one night in a Miami bar and discover they have a lot in common even though they're on opposite sides of the "thin blue line".
Crossover - NCIS & Burn Notice - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,409 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 31 - Published: 7/30/2010 - Ziva D., Fiona G.
Eddie is Brutally Staked By The MI6 by CyanideMangoOfMassDestruction reviews
Pretty much what the title says.
Crossover - Alex Rider & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 873 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/5/2010 - Edward
Agent Maximum Ride by Bookits reviews
Max's flock has just died. She is still badly injured and crashes into the Director Jenny Shepherd's NCIS office. Will Max die from battle wounds or will her secret be found out? And then there's the Volturi that she just has to tick off......R&R!
Crossover - NCIS & Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,238 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 5/24/2010 - Published: 6/5/2009 - Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Max
Save the Earth, and me by purplecatgirl reviews
Maxride and APH crosover... i don't really know what it is about. Max goes to speak about global warming at a World Conference and is swept into the world of Hetalia. Post MAX
Crossover - Maximum Ride & Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,448 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 137 - Updated: 5/15/2010 - Published: 4/3/2010 - Max, America
Truth or Dare Hetalia Style by Tanya Tsuki reviews
The bosses have decided that the best way to better relations among the Nations is to lock them in a building over night. Bored, our heroes have decided to undertake a game of truth or dare. A full list of pairings and characters is at the beginning.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,929 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 9 - Published: 3/26/2010 - Complete
AWOL by Lisse reviews
When a Marine goes missing, his twin brother comes to NCIS looking for help. Then things get weird.
Crossover - NCIS & Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,636 - Reviews: 149 - Favs: 851 - Follows: 75 - Published: 1/24/2010 - Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Canada - Complete
Worlds Apart by Mieren reviews
Crossover with Gundam Wing. Something went horribly wrong and Duo and Naruto are in the wrong worlds. Ninja vs technology. How could this possibly go wrong? Complete! Please review!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 36 - Words: 62,244 - Reviews: 980 - Favs: 646 - Follows: 122 - Updated: 12/22/2009 - Published: 12/23/2004 - Naruto U. - Complete
Blue Steel by Crimson and Chrome 42 reviews
What do Zoe Plummer and Abby Scuito have in common? A lot more than you might think. Disclaimers implied. Ratings may change.
Crossover - NCIS & Pacifier - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,887 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 7/10/2009 - Published: 7/3/2009 - Abby S.
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School Troubles reviews
This is after Crocadile Tears for Alex rider, and is at current day for APH. Just as Alex thought he had ecaped MI6, and would never have to hear from them again, three new students show up at his school and turn his world upside-down. Rated T for Russia
Crossover - Alex Rider & Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 8,344 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 89 - Updated: 12/29/2010 - Published: 10/20/2010 - Alex R./Cub, England/Britain
Nations, Mutant Bird Freaks, and Itex, oh my! reviews
What happens when Iggy bombs a World Meeting? How will the nations react to the Flock? How will the Flock react to the nations! Country names used except for Arthur! and this story takes place before Max, for Maximum Ride.
Crossover - Maximum Ride & Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K - English - Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,733 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 121 - Updated: 11/28/2010 - Published: 11/2/2010
Vampires don't sparkel! reviews
This is a Twilight bashing one shot, and an essay I wrote for English. Sue-Mary lives in Spoons, and a sparkely thing breakes into her room, trying to dazzel her. What will she do? Fihgt him, of course!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,914 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 10/29/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete