Dark Sarcasm 503
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Joined 08-17-02, id: 254285
Author has written 7 stories for Star Wars, Song of the Lioness, and Harry Potter.

Heya!

A little about me. I'm a 20 year old who lives in Melbourne, Australia. I just finished yr 12 and IB last year (I went to Wesley College Melbourne...yes yes the purple one (sigh)), and now I'm at Deakin uni studying International Studies and Law. I try to write and update as often as I can, but that's not often.

I am a muso, who plays cello, percussion and used to play piano.

Some quotes that i like are:

- "Whatever you can do or dream you can, do it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it."
- “It is well to remember from time to time, that anything worth knowing cannot be taught.”
- "Good and evil aren’t always as black and white as they seem, there is always shades of grey in between."
- If you're going to tell me I'm wrong, you could at least try to be right
- There is a thin line between genius and insanity, and I've erased that line.
- "We don't do it because it is easy, we do it because it is hard. And what is our reward for hard work? YESSS! More hard work!"

- "Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash" ~ Jerry Seinfeld.

- "Sometimes I lie awake at night and wonder 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night"

- I hateMcDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering...It has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken burger gets blank looks...Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you fcking McTosser. ~ Billy Connelly

My fave characters in some books/movies:

Harry Potter - Hermione, Snape (fanon), Blaise (fanon), Harry, Remus

Les Miserables - Javert (most powerful and misunderstood character in the musical)

Star Wars - Obi-Wan

Tamora Pierce - Daja, Numair, Daine

I also have some original fiction posted on fictionpress.com.

Dark Sarcasm 503

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Muggle Fairy Tales Are Mad! by Meltha reviews
During the Horcrux hunt in book 7, Hermione tells the boys Muggle fairy tales to pass the time. Now with Beauty and the Beast!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 108,513 - Reviews: 427 - Favs: 381 - Follows: 314 - Updated: 3/26 - Published: 1/6/2010 - Hermione G., Ron W.
A New Place To Stay by DebsTheSlytherinSnapefan reviews
Harry is called up to Dumbledore's office at the end of his fourth year and told he is to go and live with Severus Snape. Severus does what no one else bothered to do― he takes care of Harry. Watch as Harry flourishes to all that he was meant to be: A Slytherin with a heart of a lion. No slash. Can Harry, with Severus' help, win this war? Sixth Year Begins With The War.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Adventure - Chapters: 78 - Words: 358,166 - Reviews: 6348 - Favs: 4,113 - Follows: 4,974 - Updated: 3/18 - Published: 6/21/2011 - Harry P., Severus S.
Becoming Lord Potter-Black by Dolceconbrio reviews
On his sixteenth birthday, Harry gets a letter that tells him that there is more about being an Heir than he thinks.There are certain rules and etiquettes to follow. He learns that not everything is as simple as it seems and decides that he will do everything he can to create choices for everyone. Mild Dumbledore-bashing. No pairing Rated T to be safe. Some mentions of child abuse.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 20 - Words: 75,492 - Reviews: 738 - Favs: 1,453 - Follows: 2,254 - Updated: 10/30/2014 - Published: 12/30/2012 - Harry P.
Matchmaker, Matchmaker by Vash The Humanoid Sunshower reviews
For SherlockBBCfic prompt: Sherlock, upon discovering that John is bisexual but has sworn off men, makes it his mission to set John up on various dates to help him find the perfect man. Hilarity ensues. S/J: Pre-slash/Slash Last chapter up!
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 67,623 - Reviews: 527 - Favs: 1,277 - Follows: 623 - Updated: 3/6/2012 - Published: 2/21/2011 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Personal Space by probablyquantum reviews
After the incident at the pool, Sherlock and John renegotiate the rules governing personal space. John/Sherlock pre-? slash. Fluff. One-shot.
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,878 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 164 - Follows: 7 - Published: 4/11/2011 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Body of Evidence by Imbrii reviews
Sherlock/OFC, Sherlock/Sebastian, Sherlock/John. Genderqueer Sherlock. "You were born Sheridan Olivia Holmes. Your family called you Sheryl. You didn't like those names but it didn't occur to you to switch to anything else. Not yet."
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,656 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/24/2011 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
The Book of the Dead by JunoMagic reviews
Sequel of 'The Apprentice and the Necromancer'. Virtual penny dreadful with many short episodes. SS/HG. Hurt/Comfort. Romance. Horror. X–over. On hiatus until further notice.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Horror - Chapters: 42 - Words: 46,150 - Reviews: 754 - Favs: 195 - Follows: 341 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 6/24/2008 - Hermione G., Severus S.
When Up Becomes Down by HiddenAllusion reviews
Response to the Cold Shoulder Challenge: Hermione and Snape find themselves in a situation that they never would have dreamt possible. When they have only themselves to rely on, things change. AU since HBP. Work in Progress
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 37 - Words: 75,651 - Reviews: 624 - Favs: 295 - Follows: 331 - Updated: 4/10/2009 - Published: 10/30/2003 - Hermione G., Severus S.
Better Be Slytherin! by jharad17 reviews
YEAR ONE COMPLETED! As a first year, Harry is sorted into Slytherin instead of Gryffindor, and no one is more surprised than his new Head of House. Snape mentors Harry fic.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 51 - Words: 175,130 - Reviews: 7764 - Favs: 7,077 - Follows: 4,010 - Updated: 3/17/2009 - Published: 8/20/2007 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
The Shame of Clariel by Danceronpointe reviews
Clariel is a shame of the Abhorsens, lirael and sam find out about what she did, set after Abhorsen,
Old Kingdom/Abhorsen series - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 2,257 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 11/30/2008 - Published: 4/23/2008
The House Wilson Radiology Betting Pool by hwshipper reviews
House Wilson established relationship, hospital gossip, betting pools. Includes characters from season 4. I thought I'd finished this a while back, but two additional chapters & a prologue are now up!
House, M.D. - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 26,611 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 143 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 7/30/2008 - Published: 12/23/2007 - G. House, J. Wilson - Complete
A Mother's Love by Lady Knight 1512 reviews
Sequel to my other fic 'Who's That Girl'. This fic continues Lily and James' story from 6 months after their wedding up until their deaths. This will include Harry's birth, the Order of the Phoenix and a few other bumps along the way. CHAP. 3 is an AN.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,417 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 12/21/2007 - Published: 3/17/2006 - Lily Evans P., James P.
Sign of the Lion by HyperCaz reviews
AU BOOK 6 On Harry's sixteenth birthday, things begin to get a little strange. Of course, if you think suddenly gaining new powers, a lionshaped mark appearing on your arm, and having a Dark Lord taking new steps to come after you is normal, well...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 17 - Words: 44,439 - Reviews: 433 - Favs: 326 - Follows: 261 - Updated: 7/24/2007 - Published: 7/30/2003 - Harry P.
Green Eyes or Blue? by theoriginalmeathead reviews
By order of her mother Kel has to take lady lessons! Throw in an evil cousin, an old crush, a new crush and training, what do you get? More drama than Kel ever wanted. Formally titled, 'What a lady? NEVER.' Complete.
Protector of the Small Quartet - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 31,262 - Reviews: 598 - Favs: 198 - Follows: 90 - Updated: 12/31/2006 - Published: 10/14/2004 - Keladry, Nealan - Complete
A Time Lord And Lady by JCL-Tennant-Piper-1985 reviews
The Doctor still regenerates. But in order to prevent her death, the TARDIS changes Rose. She turns her Gallifreyan and into a time lady. Making her the second last of the Doctors kind, if only by default. RoseTen Jack a suprise. SLASH
Doctor Who - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 23,183 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 110 - Updated: 10/1/2006 - Published: 1/23/2006
Nicholas Sayre by Queen Bitterblue reviews
Nicholas Sayre loved his wife. Nick x Lirael, implied Lirael x Sam and undertones of Nick x Ellimere. Implied incest. Completely angstridden. Oneshot.
Old Kingdom/Abhorsen series - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 492 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/31/2006 - Complete
Fall of a Sparrow by GraySkyeMourning reviews
Anakin cannot live without forgiveness, but ObiWan is not sure he can give it. RotS AU
Star Wars - Rated: K - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,983 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/5/2006 - Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan K. - Complete
High Wizard by dormask84 reviews
This will be HPSS. It's starts out fairly typical. Harry is about to turn sixteen and he will soon gain his full adult powers. Harry has to spend a part of summer with Snape. Heard it all before? Try it and find out.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 26,543 - Reviews: 166 - Favs: 149 - Follows: 230 - Updated: 2/15/2006 - Published: 10/27/2004 - Harry P., Severus S.
Don't you cry by GoddessofHell reviews
Our potion master found the love of his life. Only their happiness was bound to a limited time. He wakes up because of a nightmare and reflects the time with his love.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,863 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/29/2005 - Severus S., Hermione G. - Complete
I Promise by FairlightMuse reviews
A grown-up Wendy returns to Neverland to fulfill a bargain with Hook. But he keeps changing the rules! Slightly AU
Peter Pan - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 61,895 - Reviews: 142 - Favs: 163 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 11/20/2005 - Published: 5/29/2005
Chemical Symmetry by Aeria reviews
In a follow up to Subtle Chemistry the Doctor [10] decides a demonstration is needed.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,623 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/10/2005
Betrayed by kateydidnt reviews
In his fifth year Harry Potter was framed for murder and sentenced to Azkaban. Ten years later his innocence is proven. What will Harry do? Written PreOotP. COMPLETE!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 26 - Words: 102,138 - Reviews: 3732 - Favs: 5,631 - Follows: 1,135 - Updated: 7/15/2005 - Published: 4/1/2003 - Harry P. - Complete
The Married Life by chrisfaithalin reviews
COMPLETED: After not seeing each other for many years Hermione auror comes to Harry dada teacher in need of help. She needs Harry to marry her and Harry agrees. Can their fake romance become real?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 39,434 - Reviews: 386 - Favs: 228 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 7/13/2005 - Published: 7/5/2003 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Nothing Unexpected by DarkSarcasm reviews
The strange summer gives way to an even stranger school year, and it all started with that one stranger.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 22 - Words: 61,796 - Reviews: 142 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 7/6/2005 - Published: 10/25/2004 - Hermione G., Severus S.
Coming Silence by Riley Cat reviews
Harry is kicked out during his summer before fifth year. Kidnapped by a man whose more than he seems, Harry learns more about his past than he ever knew. When he returns, two years later, Harry is a changed man (literally). SLASH HPSS
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 47,793 - Reviews: 492 - Favs: 416 - Follows: 160 - Updated: 5/31/2005 - Published: 5/1/2003 - Harry P.
When the world comes back by aoife91 reviews
Hermione is at the ball on her last night at Hogwarts. Will she get that dance with the one she loves? Originally a one shot but NEW CHAPTER ADDED!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,717 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 4/25/2005 - Published: 4/17/2005 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
You Can't Petition for a Smart Girl's Heart by Beware the Noble Heart reviews
WIKTT Marriage Challenge. After the first big battle of the war, Hermione had become somewhat of a hero in the wizarding community and now that she is eighteen… One man in particular is causing all the problems: Lucius Malfoy... MLC fic
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 34,954 - Reviews: 345 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 3/12/2005 - Published: 10/23/2004 - Severus S., Hermione G.
Harry Potter and A PotterBlack's Role in Life by Bobboky reviews
When Harry turned 16 the one thing he did not expect was to be summoned to Gringotts to become Head of two old and powerful Families, become an Ambassador for the Goblins, and get engaged. (let alone engaged four times)
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 59,652 - Reviews: 938 - Favs: 1,285 - Follows: 1,113 - Updated: 2/16/2005 - Published: 11/16/2004 - Harry P., Luna L.
Something Of His Own by Moxy reviews
Chapter 12 UP! Snape finds a book while on his rounds. What he finds inside could change the way he thinks about someone. Enjoy! Not slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 12 - Words: 24,417 - Reviews: 1248 - Favs: 1,091 - Follows: 837 - Updated: 2/7/2005 - Published: 5/21/2003 - Severus S., Harry P.
Harry Potter and the Council of ArchMages by Mirengard reviews
The summer after his fifth year, Harry is sinking deeper and deeper into a depression. However, on his Birthday, Harry gets a surprise that could change his life forever... (First Fic ever, PLEASE READ and REVIEW!) Re-posted, changed all 8 previous cha
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 82,101 - Reviews: 735 - Favs: 752 - Follows: 460 - Updated: 1/26/2005 - Published: 8/3/2003 - Harry P., Ginny W.
A little bit of entertainment by KerrianneLupin reviews
SBRL - Jealously can make a person do crazy things and Sirius Black is no exception to the rule. He's determined to make Remus see that if anyone should be with him then it should be him, but how exactly will he convince the Werewolf of that fact?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 17,777 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 11/27/2004 - Published: 3/1/2004 - Sirius B., Remus L.
The Bachelorette by HHRLVR reviews
Hermione has been convinced by her two best friends to apply for 'The Bachelorette'. Will she meet that special someone, or will she waste her time and embarrass herself in the process? AU...COMPLETE!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 37,289 - Reviews: 222 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 9/8/2004 - Published: 7/10/2004 - Hermione G., Harry P. - Complete
Nothing More by Mira Black reviews
When Sirius saves Remus' life, everyone starts wondering if he did it for reasons other than the obvious....(more details inside) (Remus x Sirius) (COMPLETE!)
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 20,184 - Reviews: 157 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 1/12/2004 - Published: 8/21/2003 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
The Jedi's Beloved by Sokorra Lewis reviews
Kali Palapatine Jinn was destined to be apart of history, but no one knew how far it would take her. Prequel AU. DISCONTINUED.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 26,263 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 7/17/2003 - Published: 4/30/2002 - Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan K., OC - Complete
When Stars Collide by campingwiththecharmings reviews
ABH::AU::Pre TPM: You and Obi Wan Kenobi loathe one another and everyone in the Jedi Temple knows it...so why in the world would they pair the two of you up for a mission without your Masters to control you? FINISHED
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 20,351 - Reviews: 159 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 6/6/2003 - Published: 8/18/2002 - Obi-Wan K. - Complete
Loved By Many by Karr reviews
Short Stories for Romantics ~ Different stories for : K/N, K/D, K/R, and friendly K/R ~Fun small reads~ CHAPTER FIVE UP!!
Song of the Lioness - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,259 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 2/19/2003 - Published: 11/17/2002
Falling in Love is Hard on the Knee's by ewankenobi2002 reviews
*COMPLETE* Tales of love and the military. AU Obi/original R/R please!
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 13 - Words: 13,389 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 11/12/2002 - Published: 10/1/2002 - Complete
Damsel in Distress by Taryn and Jordan reviews
COMPLETE-Hermione's getting married?! She sure did dig herself in deep this time! PG-13 for mild-harsh language. Plot a combination of the Internet and Cinderelle plot bunnies from WIKTT.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 12,566 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 10/4/2002 - Published: 9/30/2002 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
The Bond of Hearts by Saruri Dragonblood reviews
Obi-Wan was like a god to every female in the Temple...except for one. [hiatus, due to the fact that I don't really have a plot set up right...]
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 14,481 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/2/2002 - Published: 4/16/2002
Consequences without Meaning by blondi reviews
Obi-Wan and Amidala begin to have feelings for one another, creating another reason for Obi-Wan and Anakin's later rift. Overall, rated PG13 for mildly suggestive inferences. Chapter VI is NC-17. Please review!
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,291 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 1/1/2002 - Published: 9/29/2000
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Fabric of Time reviews
The fabric of time is never constant. A single event can change not only the future, but the past as well. In the trio's sevent year, Ron stumbles upon Hermione's timeturner...a bad idea. Hermione sends herself back to find him, and finds him with someone
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 5,760 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 1/8/2005 - Published: 12/8/2004 - Ron W., Lily Evans P.
Midsummer Ball reviews
Midsummer and the four from Discipline have to attend. Who will dance with who? DF, TB, SN (please RR)
Song of the Lioness - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,061 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 8/3/2004 - Published: 10/26/2003
You're Who? reviews
AU AU AU! Eventual HHr. What if Harry wasn't the Boy-who-Lived? What if it was one of the others in the Golden Trio?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 2,801 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/31/2004 - Published: 3/8/2004 - Hermione G., Harry P.
The Forgotten reviews
The final battle - the prophecy is fulfilled
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 280 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 7/20/2004 - Neville L.
So close and yet so far reviews
Harmless Fluff. Obi-Wan and Joanne (OC) think about each other......Please RR
Star Wars - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 250 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 3/8/2004 - Obi-Wan K.
The wedding reviews
It's AnakinPadme's wedding day and Padme is writing in her diary - reflecting on those 'special' moments. Though not with the groom - but the best man! (please RR)
Star Wars - Rated: K - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,354 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/16/2002 - Obi-Wan K.
Fate reviews
Joanne gets a new master....over time they realise what they mean to each other - Joanne/Obi (Please R/R)
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,516 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9/16/2002