Not Bob
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Joined 09-18-10, id: 2543576, Profile Updated: 05-20-11
Author has written 1 story for Transformers/Beast Wars.

Name: It's Not Bob. Just try figuring out which way I meant that. Fufufu.

Age: 685

Favorite food: Fruits right now.

Who I think is the most annoying person alive: My little sister who is annoying, cool, and awesome

Things I like: Left 4 Dead, pineapple, frozen grapes, hunters from Left 4 Dead, and fire.

Favorite games: Left 4 Dead/2, Resident Evil 4, Just Dance

Games I want:Team Fortress 2, all VALVE games, something with juice I'm really thirst right now... YS: Then get a glass of water you know what I'm getting one I'm thirsty too. Gets up and walks away. Not Bob: now I'm lonely TT.TT YS: MIZUNE ROCKS!!! Not Bob: Now I'm not lonely. YS: Chichichi. Not James Bond(I think that's his name=_='): Woof woof woof. YS: I BIT JUU! Not Bob : "looks at you." Ow. YS: I'M GUNNA BLOW UP THE WORLD WITH MY GIRAFFE AND HUNTER ARMY!! MWAHAHAHA!! Not Bob: No the hunter army is mine. YS: Not any more. Not Bob: You which me hunter "don't want talk" YS: I'm taking the internet. Good bye people reading this remember to watch your back for spies.

Not Bob: Bye and I love juu all.

YS: Be afraid very afraid. Hide your children.

Not Bob: Hey I don't hurt kids. I like must kids.

YS: *looks at Not Bob* Hide the children well. And hope they're safe.

Not Bob: I wont a pet hell hound :(

Friends & Best Friends

FRIENDS:never ask anything to eat or drink

BESTFRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food

FREINDS:Call your parents M. Mrs and grandma and grandpa


FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail

BESTFRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying DAM we really messed up

FRIENDS: Never seen you cry

BESTFRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when your not down anymore

FRIENDS: Ask you to write down you number

BESTFRIENDS: Has you on speed dial

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later

BESTFRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "my bad .. heres a tissue"

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you

BESTFRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life

FREINDS: Will leave you behind if thats what everyone else is doing

BESTFRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd asses that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door

BESTFRIENDS: Would walk right in and say,"IM HOME"

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell

BESTFRIENDS: Already know not to tell

FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies)

BESTFRIENDS: Are for life

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away when they think youve had enough

BESTFRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,"Girl drink the rest of that you know we dont waste

FREINDS: Will ignore this

BESTFRIENDS: Will repost this

are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boys dont want to put the effort in
and climb up for the good ones or they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask directions.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

I hate it when the voices and my imaginary friends fight.

Have you seen my mind? I seem to have lost it.

If all else fails, try reading the instructions.

Lying is the most fun a girl can have without owning a flamethrower. However, I own a flamethrower, and therefore, life holds more fun for me then just lying!

I'm not clumsy... The floor just hates me.

Smart is sexy.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Remember this, if someone is bothering you. It takes 40 muscles to frown, but it takes only three to stick up your middle finger and say, "Bite me!"

My imaginary friend thinks you have a very serious problem...

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.

Ask me no questions, I will tell you no lies…

When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.

Perfect men are only fictional.

Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can't fire me, I quit.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

Remember: Some people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

I'm not a complete idiot --Some parts are missing.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

God must love stupid people; He made so many.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a life time commitment for a pig.

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.


1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'In.'
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their coffee addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'For smuggling diamonds.'
7. Finish all your scentences with 'In accordance with the prophecy.'
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is 'To go.'
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask 'Why don't the poems rhyme?'
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address your by your wrestling name.
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I won!! I won!!'
18. When leaving the zoo, starting running towards the parking lot yelling 'Run for your lives, they're loose!'
19. Tell your children (or someone) over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of you go.'

Fun things to do on an elevator: Try them today, kids!

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22)WHEN you get inside jump on everyone there.

Guy: Where have you been all my life?
Gurl: Hiding from you.

Guy: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Gurl: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Guy: Is this seat empty?
Gurl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Guy: Your place or mine?
Gurl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Guy: So, what do you do for a living?
Gurl: I'm a female impersonator.

Guy: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Gurl: Do not enter.

Guy: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Gurl: Unfertilized.

Guy: Your body is like a temple.
Gurl: Sorry, there are no services today.

Guy: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Gurl: But would you stay there?

Guy : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Gurl: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Gurl: Really? 'Cause I'd put f and u together.

(if ur a girl that would say stuff like that then post this on your profile)

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the Beginning
The world is has stopped moving. one side is 100 degrees Fahrenheit and the others side is -100 degrees Fahrenheit. You can see the rest in the story.
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