half agony and hope
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Joined 09-26-10, id: 2555191, Profile Updated: 08-17-15
Author has written 17 stories for Mentalist.

When I'm not fangirling over The Mentalist, I'm a graduate student working towards a masters/PhD in biological anthropology. My undergraduate degree is in biology (I minored in anthropology and chemistry), though I had originally planned to major in English or creative writing. Besides writing, my pastimes include dancing, playing soccer, and obsessing over television shows. I particularly enjoy Sherlock, Bones, The X-Files, and Fringe.

My all-time favorite show has recently become The Mentalist. Its final season was the bright light at a particularly dark point in my life. Seeing Jane and Lisbon overcome their struggles week in and week out helped me to overcome the challenges in my life, and I think I'll always be grateful to this show for that. Obviously, I'm not quite ready to let those characters go yet. Sometimes I think I won't ever be ready to.

I always love to hear from readers/writers: let me know if something's inaccurate in my stories or if the grammar is incorrect. Or if you just want to say hi!

I'm also on tumblr as "halfagonyandhope"

Thanks for reading!

Also, the lovely and talented plyshkins has translated some of my fics into Russian. Google "plyshkins" and the titles of the stories in Russian (listed below) to find them on ficbook!

'In Case': На всякий случай

'Yours': Твой

'Of Photographs and Promises': О фотографиях и обещаниях

'Ya'aburnee': Ya'aburnee

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Jane's Error by Donnamour1969 reviews
A modern gothic story, somewhat inspired by the likes of Jane Eyre. Jane is a brooding widower in a creepy old house, where Teresa Lisbon is hired to be the nanny to his daughter, Charlotte. As with most gothic tales, this is riddled with mystery, darkness, suspense, and, of course, romance. Rated T/M for language and adult situations. Lovely cover courtesy of phoenix2812.
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 11 - Words: 54,310 - Reviews: 350 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 112 - Updated: 5/25 - Published: 2/28 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
From Ashes by LouRose87 reviews
"Why did you come?" And she can't answer him because there isn't an answer. At least, not one that makes sense to her. (AU, S6, post RJ)
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,442 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/19 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Broken by Idan reviews
"I know you think I'm being unreasonable because I've always known you were a cop. But you always knew I was broken." Self-therapy after 7x10, Nothing Gold Can Stay. Chapter 2 added with minor spoilers for the 7x11 promo.
Mentalist - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,788 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 2/8 - Published: 2/5 - [Teresa L., Patrick J.] - Complete
Salam by born30 reviews
Tag to 11.02 PPF; Ziva-centric; eventually Tiva. It has been two months since Ziva David left her old life behind for a journey of repentance as an aid worker in the Dohuk region of Iraq. Unlike many of her fellow volunteers, she loves most when the work is hard. When it is hard, repenting is easy. But will it ever be enough to bring her peace? A complete saga.
NCIS - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 108,852 - Reviews: 598 - Favs: 178 - Follows: 247 - Updated: 1/29 - Published: 1/27/2014 - Tony D., Ziva D. - Complete
Beneath the Blue Stars by SierraSilver reviews
"I have something for you," he says. She laughs. "Didn't you already get me what I wanted as a kid? Years ago?" "Yes." He returns from the back of the trailer. "This is something else, though." (A tag to Black Helicopters (6x13) which then becomes an AU going through Violets (6x16) and a little beyond. Jane finally (sort of) does things right.)
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,297 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 16 - Published: 7/22/2014 - Complete
Ruminations and Red Pajamas by starry19 reviews
6x16 Tag - "And then she sat on the floor of her shower, hot water streaming all around her, telling her heart to shut up. It was time she did something for herself. Marcus was kind and thoughtful and, best of all, he wasn't wearing a wedding ring."
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,212 - Reviews: 231 - Favs: 115 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 4/11/2014 - Published: 3/31/2014 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Don't Wait Up by Flaignhan reviews
Apparently, he doesn't know what to say. First time for everything.
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,244 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 235 - Follows: 82 - Updated: 1/14/2014 - Published: 1/13/2014 - Sherlock H., Molly Hooper - Complete
The Mentalist: Red Roulette by Donnamour1969 reviews
Collaboration with the wonderful waterbaby134. Set post season 5 finale. Jane and Lisbon must deal with Red John's changing rules, while being forced to play a new game of their own. But when tragedy hits close to home, will they be able to get past it to catch Red John, before he catches them? Spoilers 5x22. Drama/Romance/Angst/Humor. Rated T/M for language, violence and sexuality
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 71,836 - Reviews: 390 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 151 - Updated: 9/15/2013 - Published: 5/14/2013 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
In the Cards by Idan reviews
NOW COMPLETE! Jane teases Lisbon about her poker skills, which leads to a conversation that surprises them both, spirals into plots and counter-plots, and leaves them facing a dilemma they never imagined, but might secretly want. Minor spoilers for early season 5, but goes AU from there. Thanks to phoenixx87 for the cover!
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 62 - Words: 293,789 - Reviews: 1032 - Favs: 313 - Follows: 281 - Updated: 8/30/2013 - Published: 10/16/2012 - Teresa L., Patrick J. - Complete
Rebuilding the Sun by starry19 reviews
"She was more than willing to pick up the pieces, if he was ever willing to let himself shatter. But he would hold on, she knew, until he couldn't hide the cracks any longer." Jane/Lisbon
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 16 - Words: 43,309 - Reviews: 510 - Favs: 131 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 2/14/2013 - Published: 1/15/2013 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Teresa by Donnamour1969 reviews
Collaborative fic with waterbaby134. Extreme AU, inspired by Jane Austen's "Emma." Jane and Lisbon are lifelong friends, but will a matchmaking scheme make them realize they are well-matched to each other? Romance/Humor/Friendship. Rated K to T.
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 11 - Words: 51,801 - Reviews: 361 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 1/19/2013 - Published: 11/12/2012 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
A Change of Plan by Idan reviews
"We have Lorelei because Red John planned for us to." Jane and Lisbon try to stay one step ahead of Red John's plans for them while figuring out how to turn the tables.
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 46,872 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 9/30/2012 - Published: 8/19/2012 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Long Lost Long Last by hardly loquacious reviews
After a case involving obscure hobbies, Jane decides to bring back the long lost art of letter-writing. In spite of his best efforts, he only manages to secure a single correspondant.
Mentalist - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 103,998 - Reviews: 546 - Favs: 208 - Follows: 117 - Updated: 5/13/2012 - Published: 3/1/2012 - Teresa L., Patrick J.
The Red and the Grey by bloodwrites reviews
Winner, 2012 Paint it Red Best Het Romance! Spoilers up to season 3 finale; directly follows events of 3x24. A new nemesis appears on the scene to avenge Red John, targeting Lisbon to get to Jane. Creepy dollhouses, life on the lam, and sexy Jisbon times abound.
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 110,869 - Reviews: 373 - Favs: 241 - Follows: 107 - Updated: 10/24/2011 - Published: 7/16/2011 - Teresa L., Patrick J. - Complete
Persuasion by hardly loquacious reviews
A single choice can destroy a relationship. What do you do when life throws you back together with the one person you thought you'd never see again? Based loosely on Jane Austen's Persuasion, though the story stands on its own.
Mentalist - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 62,965 - Reviews: 206 - Favs: 107 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 7/16/2010 - Published: 7/7/2010 - Teresa L., Patrick J. - Complete
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Evensong reviews
"'You know,' Jane began, and she was surprised at the emotion in his voice. He cleared his throat and tried again. 'You know I would trade places with you in a heartbeat. You know that, right? I would do anything—anything—to give you back your vision.'" Sequel to Eventide.
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,343 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/28 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Shiver reviews
"So instead of pushing her away, my arms tighten around her, and I pull her body across mine as I recline on the couch, laying us both down so I can sleep beside her. I kiss her again, my lips brushing over the top of her head as she lays on my chest. She shivers against me."
Mentalist - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,284 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 8/17 - Published: 6/10 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
State of Grace reviews
The Blake Association has been dismantled, and Jane and Lisbon return from South America as Abbott seeks to build a new team. Cho, Rigsby, and Van Pelt are also recruited, and the former CBI team undertakes their first case with the FBI—the investigation of Lisbon's father's death, once thought to be suicide but now understood to be murder. Third in the "Into the Blue" trilogy.
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Crime/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 24,470 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 8/10 - Published: 6/21 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Eventide reviews
"She'd always thought she would be safe from Red John. Untouchable. Jane had thought so, too. 'If he harmed you—if he touched you—the game would be over. I'd quit.' She hadn't needed to ask what he'd meant by quitting." AU after Red Rover, Red Rover.
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,999 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 12 - Published: 8/7 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Ya'aburnee reviews
(Arabic): The hope that one's lover will die after oneself because of how excruciating life would be without them. Fourth in the "In Case" series.
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,813 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/13 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Of Photographs and Promises reviews
"He tells her that she is his entire world now, and she promises him her heart. It is not a difficult promise to make. She had given herself to him a long time ago." Third in the "In Case" series.
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,644 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 7 - Published: 5/25 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Sempiternal reviews
(adjective: eternal and unchanging, everlasting) "'Sempiternal,' she whispers. 'The word you're looking for is sempiternal.' He grins. 'And I've found it.'" Post Blue Bird.
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,154 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/15 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
When I Fall reviews
After the death of Red John, and with the Blake Association still at large, Jane and Lisbon flee to South America. Though they've left the conspiracy behind them, Lisbon soon finds their island paradise has its own complications when she begins to question the wisdom of being in a relationship with a professional conman. As always, Jane has the solution. Set after "Into the Blue."
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 26,418 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 5/10 - Published: 3/28 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Yours reviews
"'Your letters,' she gasps as his lips find a particularly sensitive spot on her neck, and her breathing hitches between words. 'You said...you were…mine.' 'Yours,' he agrees. 'I…am yours.'" Companion piece to "In Case".
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,689 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 10 - Published: 5/5 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
In Case reviews
"'Leaving you is going to destroy me all over again,' he whispers, leaning his forehead down to rest against hers." After killing Red John, Jane visits Lisbon before heading off the grid.
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,761 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 11 - Published: 4/26 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Believe reviews
"I'm not going to tell you everything will be fine. That would just trivialize your worries—and it'd probably be a lie. But know this," she said, her tone thoughtful. "The very fact that you're wondering these things means you have changed." Jane and Lisbon voice their fears about beginning a family.
Mentalist - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,300 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/22 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Reichenbach reviews
When Red John discovers that Jane has been faking his breakdown in Vegas, he forces Jane into a deal: Lisbon is allowed to live, but Jane must break her heart by first romancing her and then making her believe he's taken his own life. AU after Red Rover, Red Rover.
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 15,021 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/14 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
To Be Happy reviews
"Lisbon, what makes you happy?" In response, Lisbon leaned forward. "You," she said simply. "You, Jane. Just you. Exactly as you are. I want you—your smile, your laugh, your heart. Your family, your heartache, your pain, all of it. Your past, your present, and hopefully, your future. You—just you—make me happy." Post Il Tavolo Bianco.
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,264 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/6 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Into the Blue reviews
The rational thing to do—the safe thing to do—would be to walk away from Jane as though this moment had never happened. The stakes were already high enough now with Red John so close, and tensions were escalating between them both. But despite all that—or perhaps because of it—Lisbon was tired of rationality, of reason, and of safety. Post Red John's Rules.
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 10 - Words: 25,202 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 2/27 - Published: 1/24 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Still a Mystery reviews
"I'm still a mystery, huh?" said Lisbon, smiling smugly. Jane nodded, then kissed her again. "A mystery I'm lucky enough to spend the rest of my life solving." Post White Orchids
Mentalist - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,221 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 16 - Published: 2/19 - Complete
Not Anymore reviews
A disturbing case forces Jane to examine his future and his plans for himself and Lisbon.
Mentalist - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,389 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/29/2014 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
A Second Lifetime reviews
A week after the events in Miami, Jane and Lisbon finally have time to talk about their new relationship.
Mentalist - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,793 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 10 - Published: 5/23/2014 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
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