Qoheleth
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Joined 08-19-02, id: 255561, Profile Updated: 06-11-18
Author has written 146 stories for Giver, His Dark Materials, Sandman, Jumanji, Animorphs, Harry Potter, Incredibles, Pirates of the Caribbean, Star Wars, Toy Story, DuckTales, Series Of Unfortunate Events, Left Behind, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Batman, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Magic School Bus, Justice League, Superman, Bible, Calvin & Hobbes, NCIS, Sesame Street, Green Lantern, Flash, Batman Begins/Dark Knight, Looney Tunes, Westing Game, StarTrek: The Next Generation, Cthulhu Mythos, Space Trilogy, Greek Mythology, Misc. Comics, Get Smart, Alice in Wonderland, Captain Marvel/Shazam, Chronicles of Narnia, Misc. Cartoons, Enchanted Forest, Avatar, Dick Van Dyke Show, Veggie Tales, Misc. Movies, Flatland, Phineas and Ferb, Fairy Tales, Arthur C. Clarke, Doctor Who, Foundation, Aladdin, Dilbert, Jurassic Park, Avengers, Monty Python, Misc. Books, StarTrek: The Original Series, DC Superheroes, Thor, X-overs, My Little Pony, Children of the Corn, and Independence Day.

I Qoheleth was king over Israel in Jerusalem. And I proposed in my mind to seek and search out wisely concerning all things that are done under the sun; this painful occupation hath God given to the children of men, to be exercised therein. -Eccles. 1:12-13

There are a few things I'd like to say before you read my stuff. First, for the benefit of you statisticians in the audience, I'm an American male of mixed European extraction and legal voting age. Second, not all my ff work is contained on this account; in addition to the stories I contributed to the Reviews Lounge compendia Rainbow Magic and The Reviews Lounge Birthday Ficathon, I have a backup profile under the name Bar Sira, where various additional works of mine can be found. (And, to be thorough, I suppose I should also mention my Fictionpress account - or accounts, technically.) Third, anyone who has any interest in finishing my Westing Game story Life Happens, or any unfinished story posted under the Bar Sira name (or in continuing the saga of Sarah "Sparkle" Palmer, to which my Flash story 30 Days of Speed is an introduction), please let me know. Thank you.


A FEW OFT-NEGLECTED PRINCIPLES OF OUR GENRE:

1. Fidelity is non-negotiable. A fanfiction story that ignores the known facts and texture of the imagined world in which it is set is as much an artistic failure as a science-fiction story that disregards basic science. This does not mean that AU variations are impermissible; what it does mean, however, is that the art of an AU lies precisely in presenting the canon universe just as it would be if one or two key details of history were changed, not in every fact that the author doesn't care for simply vanishing. (Corollary: a story in which the identities of known characters are superimposed on other persons entirely - stories that identify, for instance, the son of a mortal mob boss as "Nico di Angelo", a Regency-era aristocrat as "Severus Snape", or a human IT executive as "Thorin Oakenshield" - are not properly AUs, or even fanfiction, but a sort of daughter genre of dreamscapes and dress-up games; I propose the general term "fantomime". They may well be worthy literary endeavors - in fact, I would argue that we should have another sister site specifically dedicated to them - but they shouldn't be presented as something they aren't.)

Note: Since writing the above, I have been presented with the possibility that the creators of a fandom might not grasp the internal logic of their own work, and might introduce details at odds with the whole spirit thereof, which an ff author would then be justified in causing to "simply vanish". While this seems to me an argument fraught with hazards, I suppose that an author might be able to get away with it who clearly understood what he meant by "the spirit of the fandom" and could defend that conception cogently against all objections. I doubt, however, that those stories where Taylor Swift records are available to Lily Evans generally fall under this heading.

2. Derivatives are not canon. The only facts that an ff author is under any obligation to observe are those that appear in the actual book(s), movie(s), etc., that the story is based on. All else, even if it proceeds directly from the creator him- or herself, is mere suggestion, which the author is at liberty to disregard. (A quasi-exception may be made for such creators as J. R. R. Tolkien, for whom the legendarium itself, rather than this or that specific production based on it, is the central work of art. But this is vanishingly rare, while the mere pretense of it is, nowadays, outrageously common.) To assert otherwise is both to diminish the original work of art, and to make fanfiction writers into servile lackeys of the very people whose self-interest is what marginalized the genre in the first place. (Cf. James 2:6-7 - which reminds me that the Bible subcategory, and others based around non-fiction books, do constitute another quasi-exception to this rule. One is not, of course, at liberty to disregard a known historical fact about a character just because it doesn't happen to be mentioned in one's immediate source.)

3. Character death happens. Fanfiction, by its very nature, has the entire history of a given fictional universe to explore - and in that history, sooner or later, most characters (not all) are going to die. (Moreover, as mentioned in #1, the AU sub-genre is all about exploring the consequences of particular changes to a universe's history, which must often involve the explicit rescheduling of So-and-So's rendezvous with the Reaper.) To object when this happens, or to demand that this aspect of the plot be given away in advance, is unworthy of any but the most childish of ff readers. (The same applies, though not in a specifically fanfictional way, to "trigger warnings" in general. The whole purpose of storytelling is to trigger emotional reactions - in the Sage's words, to awaken pity and terror; anyone who can't handle that should stay away from literary venues.)

4. Pairings are strictly optional. I include this one because it seems to me that a great many of the stories on this site that shamelessly glamorize homosexuality, incest, bestiality, sex with fruit, etc., are less the result of convinced libertinism than of quite understandable boredom with all the lawful pairings a given fandom has to offer. Such authors should perhaps be reminded that, strange as it may seem, one can write a perfectly good story without any romance in it at all.

5. Do your best. Just because you're not getting paid doesn't mean that you can excuse any amount of carelessness by saying, "Hey, it's just for fun." You still have readers who expect something worth reading; you still have fellow authors whose work becomes more likely to be overlooked every time a piece of garbage is posted alongside it. If you can't be fair to them without spoiling your own fun, then probably you should just keep a private journal of your ff instead of trying to interest the global public.


ILLUSTRIOUS AUTHORS SUPPORT FANFICTION:

-"When 'Omer smote 'is bloomin' lyre, / He'd 'eard men sing by land an' sea, / An' what 'e thought 'e might require, / 'E went an' took - the same as me!" -Rudyard Kipling

-"If you had asked Laȝamon or Chaucer, 'Why do you not make up a brand-new story of your own?' I think they might have replied (in effect), 'Surely we are not yet reduced to that?'" -C. S. Lewis

-"Being, somehow, Cervantes, and arriving thereby at the Quixote - that looked to Menard less challenging (and therefore less interesting) than continuing to be Pierre Menard and coming to the Quixote through the experiences of Pierre Menard." -Jorge Luis Borges

-"[Aeschylus] is able to treat the story [of Agamemnon] in this way [i.e., as a vehicle for a certain conception of justice] because his audience knew its main outline already. One great advantage in using myth was that the dramatist was saved the tedious business of exposition." -H. D. F. Kitto

-"'To have composed a special poem for the occasion,' [the Emperor] said, 'would have been the ordinary thing to do. But to find a quote that fits the moment perfectly - that is truly difficult.'" -Sei Shōnagon

-"Then Eliu the son of Barachel the Buzite answered, and said: 'I am younger in days, and you are more ancient; therefore hanging down my head, I was afraid to shew you my opinion. For I hoped that greater age would speak, and that a multitude of years would teach wisdom. But, as I see, there is a spirit in men, and the inspiration of the Almighty giveth understanding; they that are aged are not the wise men, neither do the ancients understand judgment… Therefore because I have waited, and they have not spoken - they stood, and answered no more - I also will answer my part, and will show my knowledge. For I am full of matter to speak of, and the spirit of my bowels straiteneth me.'" -The Book of Job

-[for the good people in the TV Commercials subcategory] "Did you see the one in which this woman is in a supermarket making a telephone call?… What she is saying on the telephone (with nobody watching that cart) is, 'Helen, I've been wondering. What do you use for occasional irregularity?' Now, I just can't leave it there. I want to know more about Helen. I want to know about Helen's husband. Does he say, 'Who was that on the phone? Janice? Where was she? -She was in the A & P and wanted to know what?'" -Jean Kerr


QOHELETH'S RIDDLE CHALLENGE

This is a rather different sort of writing challenge, based on what I flatter myself is a rather interesting principle. At the end of this post, you will find a numbered list of 28 entirely genuine sentences, all taken technically verbatim from real stories existing on this site. (By "technically verbatim", I mean that I have in one or two cases corrected obvious errors of punctuation, but that the text itself is preserved exactly the way the author wrote it - right down to the coarse language of #2, for which I apologize in advance.) Unbeknownst - I believe - to their authors, these sentences, when presented in this order, exhibit a certain remarkable characteristic, which careful attention will reveal to anyone sufficiently clever and well-informed. And the challenge is simply to write a story of your own (or, if you prefer, a new chapter of a story you already have in progress) containing a sentence that could appear in the list alongside these others.

Of course, there are a couple rules that must be observed. In the first place, the sentence must be wholly in English; passages that qualify by having a character lapse into some other language are verboten. (However, loan words from foreign languages that have themselves become acceptable English - e.g., "verboten" - are quite acceptable.) In the second place, while I believe that some of the sentences on the actual list do contain the proper names of original characters, conscious challenge participants are held to a higher standard: all proper names appearing in the sentence must be those of things or persons hitherto known to exist either in the fandom universe or in the real world (or both). And, of course, it goes without saying that the story must meet all the general site rules.

Even within these restrictions, however, I can positively assert that it is possible for at least twelve people, and perhaps more, to write stories that fulfill the challenge. (Indeed, I would be able to vouch for fourteen, if the list were a little longer.) If you believe yourself to have done so, please send me a PM identifying the story in question, the text of the sentence, and - this is most important - the position that it ought to occupy in the list. If it qualifies, I will include it in the list in the proper position, with a star instead of a number to indicate that it is a challenge winner rather than one of the original 28.

Now for the sentences:

1. "Eugene's issues ran deeper than the surface level Delsin was used to dealing with when it came to other people." –wolftez, "Oh, the Baby"

2. "Jo sued the SHIT out of the both of them for extorting and publishing a sex tape on international television, and without consent." –VeryUnknown, "Total Drama Reunion at Celebrity Manhunt", cap. 29

3. "Jud gestured for the stranger to join them up on the boardwalk, saying, 'Let me introduce you to…'" –Susan Hillwig, "Here We Are As in Olden Days"

4. "Constantine spared one last glance for Uther, who was making soft sounds and drooling against Gaius's chest." –Saucery, "The Mouths of Babes"

5. "During a fight with a hollow, something happens to Momo that requires drastic measures to fix." –story magic, summary to "Toshiro's Death"

6. "My arms stung from all the mosquito bites there, but my misery was mainly emotional." –PandaLovingTaco, "The Memories of Lula", cap. 1

7. "Fox and Banjo both stood in their corners as Fox handed his title belt to the ref." –FlameAmigo619, "UGWF: GAME ON! 2", cap. 9

8. "Shadow is dominant, while Silver is least threatening." –Someone who likes the D, "Shadow of the Vampire", cap. 9

9. "'Please, sir,' a child begged through blue-tinted lips, 'in this snowstorm, I have nowhere to go.'" –Pampan, "Tuna and the Beast", cap. 1

10. "'Did he tell you what he wanted?' Tony asked his AI, as he dragged his lab phone towards him to get ready to take the call." –CakeTops, "The Assistant", cap. 2

11. "Subaru chose a pretzel and Kou did the same afterward." –Rosalite, "Diabolik Roomies", cap. 2

12. "A bowl of popcorn and a bottle of cold beer, decent but not the best he's ever had, leave Joe Longo sufficiently prepared to enjoy a movie in the comfortable silence of a mostly empty house." –ifwednesdaywasaflowerchild, "You and Tequila", cap. 1

13. "They followed him in protest at the decision to make Jon a steward instead of a ranger." –Dovah-wolfbear64, "A Different Course of Action", cap. 1

14. "Atomic structure? … no… come on, guys, I just need the atomic structure… atomic structure… no… atomic… aha!" –Shadow Mage Evelyn, "Indiana Elric?", cap. 1

15. "'S-simba, w-watch out for the gun, it's very dangerous when a human uses it,' Sarabi said, still clinging to life." –PerkyGoth14, "Kopa's Adventures in the Wild", cap. 1

16. "Roman had begun to fend off the hag, gaining ground on her and pushing her away from Leia." –ShouldIGetOutandPush, "From a Certain Point of View", cap. 31

17. "All that was up there was a small yellow stuffed animal a child must have left at the edge of the building." –Slenderbrine, "Thunder Draws Near"

18. "What if Jason, Piper, Leo, and Thalia had found someone else waiting for them at the Wolf House besides Hera?" –purpleykt, summary to "Surprise at the Wolf House"

19. "Catching Spencer's eye from across the table, Tamar knew she had made the right decision transferring to the BAU." –BabyGaga86, "First Day", cap. 1

20. "In the end what happened back in April of 2008 in Honolulu kept the little berk alive and out of harm's way when Foyet decided to go after Hotch and his family." –Maura Maud Jadiet, "Sleep Deprived: Dog Days", cap. 4

21. "Your mother tweaked the terms of the contract so that, through the completion of a few forms, the invocation of several bylaws and clauses that you will see detailed in our report, you could essentially void it." –R-dude, "Contractual Invalidation", cap. 1

22. "'…You're a hero, man,' Steve said, smiling proudly down at his best friend." –HipsterMaybe, "Flight 408 Down"

23. "He's still a creep; he's Ian's best friend, for crying out loud!" –starstruckk123, "Spencer and Toby: The First Touch", cap. 66

24. "He'd done it for a long time, but he was getting old and it wasn't what it used to be." –AuroraBanshee, "Treat Him Like a Criminal"

25. "She shot Malfoy a nasty look while the Brewsters' backs were turned, and she made her way into the kitchen." –Marmalade Fever, "The Witness and the Wife", cap. 6

26. "She always loved jam, especially those plum-cherry ones that her mother, Juuri, used to make on a lovely spring afternoon." –Dark Angelic Kitty, "7th Heaven", cap. 5

27. "The hospital grounds were in view when Ven finally said, 'I hope Terra's okay.'" –the primrose path, "Injury"

28. "Explaining that a Kaiju decided to follow us would definitely be the most awkward situation I've been in yet." –ScrewUsirnaems, "To Love a Kaiju"

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

When Math, Psychology, Drama, and Philosophy Clash by Haiza Tyri reviews
A humorous explanation for why there are four different books telling four different versions of the life of Jesus in the Bible.
Bible - Rated: K - English - Spiritual/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,257 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 8/25 - Published: 2/1/2010 - Complete
Emotional Range of a Teaspoon by Sultanbruno reviews
Just what was going on, inside Ron Weasley's head, when he abandoned Harry in DH? Explores Ron's motivations and feelings during that time, from the perspective of his emotions. Rated T for minor adult themes
Crossover - Harry Potter & Inside Out - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,681 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 12/30/2016 - Published: 8/11/2016 - Ron W. - Complete
Anchors and Flight by Ember Nickel reviews
Dan is an anchorman. Tobias stays classy. (Lipogram. Post-book 7.)
Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 647 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/3/2013 - [Rachel, Tobias] - Complete
Idle Hands and Hours by werelemur reviews
The Doctor needs a hobby. Other then fixing the dematerialization circuit, that is.
Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Angst/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 101 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Published: 3/21/2012 - 3rd Doctor - Complete
Growing Up by Pumpkin2Face reviews
Because everything changed when Phineas and Ferb moved away Oneshot
Phineas and Ferb - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 679 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/6/2011
The Shapes of Our Souls by Bird of Poetry reviews
The Animorphs - and their dæmons - reshape themselves. Or, six moments from the time period of books 2 - 5, as told by each of the six Animorphs.
Crossover - Animorphs & His Dark Materials - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,964 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 6 - Published: 6/24/2011 - Complete
Degrees of Poison by Fire Tears reviews
Being friends with Artemis, Foaly had said, would be like being friends with a viper. It was not an inapt analogy. After the events of 'The Time Paradox', Holly and Artemis have a discussion.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,381 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 397 - Follows: 58 - Published: 3/18/2009 - Artemis F., Holly S. - Complete
A Weasley Family Thanksgiving by JoeMerl reviews
During Thanksgiving dinner, Fred just can't shake the feeling that something's not quite right. Rated for things you shouldn't discuss at your family meal. Crackfic.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,696 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 165 - Follows: 17 - Published: 11/27/2008 - Harry P., George W., Molly W., Fred W. - Complete
Minerva McGonagall and the Insurance Salesman by shewhoguards reviews
The hapless insurance salesman squirmed. “If you will recall, Professor McGonagall, last time we spoke I told you we wished to cancel your policy. The amount of issues the school has – it’s simply too high-risk for us...”
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,252 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 150 - Follows: 28 - Published: 4/22/2008 - Minerva M.
The Sleeper Awakes by SnorkackCatcher reviews
It's been coming on for a while," said Percy ... "But I had to find a way out and it's not so easy at the Ministry, they're imprisoning traitors all the time." DH, ch30 . This is Percy’s journey to that point.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,606 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 338 - Follows: 57 - Published: 1/12/2008 - Percy W., Dolores U. - Complete
Platform i by shewhoguards reviews
The first time Remus Lupin tried to board the Hogwarts Express, he went to Platform EightAndAQuarter by mistake.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,490 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 178 - Follows: 29 - Published: 10/21/2007 - Remus L. - Complete
The Art of War by Viola Telcontar reviews
Dooku and a friend discuss politics over a game and some drinks. The seed of a bold plan is planted.
Star Wars - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,761 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/6/2006 - Count Dooku, E. Palpatine - Complete
Behind The Eyes by Phoebonica reviews
...and he simply had an odd habit of disappearing for hours on end sometimes. A quirk, an idiosyncrasy.
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,746 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/27/2006 - Lemony S. - Complete
Boy, Interrupted by TrudiRose reviews
Oneshot: the curse from Chip's point of view.
Beauty and the Beast - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,176 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 7 - Published: 2/2/2005 - Chip, Mrs. Potts - Complete
Formerly, Elastigirl? by littlesoprano reviews
Bob isn't the only one having an identity crisis.
Incredibles - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,836 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 6 - Published: 11/29/2004 - Complete
The Heretic by L. Emmist reviews
Annoying little sisters, helmacrons who can morph, and a whole lot of Yeerks! We've got trouble! -- PG-13 for action. Enjoy Chapter Twenty-Nine! --
Animorphs - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 29 - Words: 36,617 - Reviews: 292 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 7/29/2004 - Published: 12/26/2002
Emotional Blackmail by Kaleyanne reviews
That mighty manipulator known as the Ellimist works his wiles on Erek, convincing him to help the Animorphs save the Iskoort.
Animorphs - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,244 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/20/2004 - Complete
Aximili's Headache by Blue Dragon reviews
Aximili is living his worst nightmare: he's a voluntary controller. And for the sake of his Yeerk, he's wading willingly through his own lies, his own treachery, and towards his own damnation. [during 54]
Animorphs - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 83,751 - Reviews: 315 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 3/7/2004 - Published: 11/7/2001 - Complete
The Snowball Fic by dissolvablelabels reviews
Takes place after book 4 with references to book 1. An itty bitty humor ficlet. Won't take you but a minute. It's funny. Really. Voldemort makes out his list of who to kill and in what order.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 671 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/3/2003 - Voldemort, George W.
The Subreality Series by Nate Grey reviews
The adventures of an unfortunate Writer and his Muse...er, Muses.
Anime X-overs - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 36,848 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 10/1/2002 - Published: 11/5/2000 - Complete
Symphony by Arwen reviews
A life can be likened to a symphony, and rebirth and restarting can come at the oddest moments. A tale of one such symphony and one such rebirth. A war in space combined with personal battles and an epidemic seeded by the enemy. (begun at about book 28; i
Animorphs - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,469 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/3/2001
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Sweetened reviews
Drabble. The way to a Dursley's heart…
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 122 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 9/19 - Harry P., Dudley D. - Complete
Better Lo'ed Ye Canna Be
When Starlight stages an egalitarian coup and seizes the Equestrian throne, Twilight is forced to flee to a remote island. As her surviving friends endure the year of distress that follows, each of them finds herself asking the Magic-Bearer, "Will ye no' come back again?" [Critical AU; originally chapter 2 of the now-defunct anthology fic "Apples and Gems and Daisy Stems"]
My Little Pony - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,071 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/10 - Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity - Complete
Reminders reviews
How poetry entered the life of the Community, and what came about as a result.
Giver - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 16,559 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 8/28 - Published: 9/16/2014 - Katharine
Yes to the Dress reviews
Because, crazy as it sounds, I really believe that the outcome of "Civil War" would have been both happier and more logical if they'd given Wanda her proper costume. AU.
Avengers - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 34,556 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 7/18 - Published: 2/18/2017 - Wanda M./Scarlet Witch
Category Error reviews
Recalling a certain exploit of James T. Kirk's, Dr. Noonian Soong decides to put the new-made Data through a rather peculiar test.
StarTrek: The Next Generation - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 815 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Published: 7/14 - Data, N. Soong - Complete
Element N reviews
In which Violet's full name is revealed, in all its subtle significance and poignant irony, to an (I hope) eagerly waiting world.
Incredibles - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 858 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 8 - Published: 7/7 - Violet P. - Complete
Sacred Host reviews
Somewhere in the Yeerk pool, you know someone is doing this.
Animorphs - Rated: T - English - Drama/Spiritual - Chapters: 41 - Words: 81,090 - Reviews: 541 - Favs: 262 - Follows: 311 - Updated: 6/29 - Published: 3/29/2007 - OC
Decipiebaris reviews
Drabble, slight crack. People just don't know their Latin anymore, do they? (Now with an addendum, since "Fallen Kingdom" upped the illiteracy ante.)
Jurassic Park - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 213 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/20 - Published: 10/16/2015 - Indominus Rex - Complete
What's in a Name? reviews
Five pairings meet their namesakes.
X-overs - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 965 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6/19 - Complete
Triplet
A missing-chapter drabble for the story-writing sequence. The two future Calvins disparage their past.
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 124 - Published: 5/26 - Calvin - Complete
Sally-Anne Perks and the Siege of Troy reviews
Or, "Reading the (Great) Books, Part I". Because there are more important things in this world than changing history.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,280 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 4/16 - Published: 8/19/2016 - Morag M., Sally-Anne P., Mandy B., L. Moon
A Dark Kiss reviews
"Many find it the most satisfying kind…"
Thor - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 302 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/27 - Jane F., Loki - Complete
Strains reviews
Drabble. Why the DC Universe puts up with sloppy hymn-writing much less readily than ours does.
DC Superheroes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 120 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/19 - Complete
Auctorial reviews
Drabble. Scholarly detachment can have unpleasant consequences…
StarTrek: The Original Series - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 122 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/8 - OC - Complete
Blackbird Visions reviews
Or, 13 things you didn't know about Luna Lovegood.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,172 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/23 - Luna L. - Complete
Saint Joseph's Carol reviews
Being essentially what the title says. (And yes, I know it's a little early. C'est la vie.)
Bible - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 212 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12/9/2017 - Joseph the Father of Jesus - Complete
Ghosts and Machines reviews
In which a glimpse by Counselor Troi of a junior science officer's mind sets in motion a startling series of events, forcing the crew of the Enterprise to reassess their ideas about the mind, the heart, and Lieutenant Commander Data.
StarTrek: The Next Generation - Rated: K+ - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,976 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 9/13/2017 - Published: 11/19/2015 - Data, OC
Denominate reviews
Drabble. The real reason why Mary Sues are always setting their caps at Harry.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 134 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/27/2017 - Harry P., OC - Complete
Cousins reviews
Drabble. What a powerful and somewhat unscrupulous wizard, determined to keep Harry from being raised by the Dursleys, would quite certainly do, though the ones you read about always seem to overlook it.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 122 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Published: 3/15/2017 - Albus D., OC - Complete
The Perception reviews
Sequel to "The Parallel". The members of the Morph Force have returned from the Animorphs' universe to their own, and all seems well… until a girl on the other side of the country starts having dreams of turning into a wolf and fighting aliens. Are the two universes merging? Will our heroes' secrets be revealed? And what of this mysterious datum that the Chee are forbidden to know?
Animorphs - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,304 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 3/14/2017 - Published: 12/12/2015 - OC
Advenit reviews
Which is Latin for "One's on the way".
Bible - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 360 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/25/2017 - Mary the Blessed Mother - Complete
Duty reviews
AU. How the aftermath of #33 might have played out, if Rachel had stayed dead. (The first time, I mean.)
Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,080 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/7/2016 - Complete
Reshuffle reviews
Drabble. How do the three nations in "1984" decide who's always been at war with whom?
Misc. Books - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 207 - Reviews: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/28/2016 - Complete
Lords of the Force reviews
The great Jedi creation myth that Qui-Gon Jinn made a lot of people very unhappy by not knowing.
Star Wars - Rated: K - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 916 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/24/2016 - Complete
Predicates reviews
Drabble. The University of Wollamaloo's going to have to tweak its faculty rules now…
Monty Python - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 118 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 9/26/2016 - Complete
Azurite reviews
Drabble. Nothing about the Avengers is black and white - not even, it turns out, the Avengers themselves.
Avengers - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 148 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/31/2016 - Thor, Falcon/ Sam W. - Complete
Hagia Sophia reviews
Ecclesiasticus 24 (and a little of Proverbs 8), set to 8-7-8-7 time.
Bible - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 192 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Published: 4/29/2016 - Jesus - Complete
Writing reviews
Drabble. A speculation about the one time that Jesus hesitated.
Bible - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 100 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 2/19/2016 - Jesus - Complete
Quints reviews
Drabble. In the spirit of the March for Life, another look at the whole Quagmire birth-identity trope.
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 112 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/22/2016 - OC - Complete
Lies Bathilda Bagshot Told Me reviews
Or, why Hufflepuffs understand History of Magic better than Ravenclaws do.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,177 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 16 - Published: 1/1/2016 - Hannah A., Fat Friar - Complete
True and Faithful reviews
In which the Vision has a Christmas wish granted, and makes some old friends. A little holiday fantasy for all those who, when Tony saw the Avengers destroyed, were most moved by the broken shield.
Avengers - Rated: K - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,366 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/19/2015 - OC, Vision - Complete
Emendation reviews
Drabble, more than slight crack. Dedicated to everyone who re-spells Voldemort's name this way, without reflecting on the consequences.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 126 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Published: 11/27/2015 - Voldemort - Complete
Dekramedart reviews
The drabble that explains how Dilbert's company got its name. (What do you mean, what name? It's right there, plain as day, in the strip of July 26, 1993.)
Dilbert - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 190 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 10/14/2015 - Complete
Qalb al-Assad reviews
Sonnet. Teddy Lupin does some stargazing in Gryffindor Tower, and reflects upon a bygone kinsman.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 149 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/2/2015 - Regulus B., Teddy L. - Complete
Political Correction reviews
Because plenty of people complained about the original "Arabian Nights" lyrics, but only one really mattered.
Aladdin - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,067 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/3/2015 - Peddler, Jafar - Complete
Unappended reviews
Drabble. Completely unprecedented, is it, Dr. Shekt? So much the worse for your world, then.
Foundation - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 114 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/16/2015 - Complete
Blanc reviews
Close your eyes. Open your mind. Forget everything you think you know about a certain alien race. And meet Gabriela of Vuunyar.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,617 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/3/2015 - OC, Weeping Angels - Complete
With Royal Beauty Bright reviews
One of Clarke's classic stories, as seen from the other end. (If you don't already know which one, I won't spoil it by telling you.)
Arthur C. Clarke - Rated: K - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,878 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/8/2014 - Complete
The Parallel reviews
Through the vagaries of space travel, a parallel universe's "Animorphs" have been transported to the reality we all know and love. Now they have to figure out a way to get home - but do all of them really want to?
Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 36 - Words: 65,882 - Reviews: 222 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 10/4/2014 - Published: 10/31/2004 - OC - Complete
Imported reviews
Drabble. What happens when you come to "The Ugly Duckling" right after watching the brood-parasitism scenes in "The Life of Birds".
Fairy Tales - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 121 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/30/2014 - Complete
Origin Story reviews
Describing the formation and first adventure of the Justice League of Hogwarts. (Hey, if you're going to do a superpowered-Harry story, do it right, that's what I say.)
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 32 - Words: 57,742 - Reviews: 167 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 7/30/2014 - Published: 10/4/2008 - Complete
King of Everything reviews
Sara Bareilles is going to kill me when she finds out about this.
Bible - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 311 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/17/2014 - John the Apostle, Jesus - Complete
Exweyr reviews
Crossover drabble. It runs in the family...
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 113 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/15/2014 - Dad - Complete
Interfere reviews
Drabble. Even when Candace isn't around to bust her brothers, fate still has its hands full keeping their mother oblivious.
Phineas and Ferb - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 140 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/18/2013 - Linda - Complete
Des Pensées reviews
Or, An Existential Crisis in Pointland.
Flatland - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,366 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/11/2013 - Complete
Brigitte reviews
In the jungles of Jumanji, there are Guardians: young, ordinary mortals plucked out of history to tend the terrors of the game. One of them is a thirteenth-century merchant's daughter named Brigitte. This is her story.
Jumanji - Rated: K+ - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,660 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 11/11/2013 - Published: 7/12/2004 - OC
Oligochaete reviews
Drabble, high-school era. Why Calvin's classmates, if they have any sense, will stay in the closet where it's safe.
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 130 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/27/2013 - [Moe, Ronald] Calvin - Complete
The Bucket Lift, or Frippery Triumphant reviews
A Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory AU describing what might have happened in the Fizzy Lifting Room, had Charlie been just a touch less deserving. (Come on, haven't you ever wanted to hear that verse of the Oompa-Loompa Song?)
Misc. Movies - Rated: K - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 767 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/8/2013 - Complete
Ophiophage reviews
Drabble, technically AU. Even small plot holes look big when you poke them with chopsticks.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 124 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/2/2013 - Harry P. - Complete
Interfaces reviews
Drabble. Larry and Mr. Lunt give new meaning to the phrase "Internet piracy".
Veggie Tales - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 120 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/5/2012 - Complete
Distancing reviews
Drabble. Everyone thought it was just because of the censors...
Dick Van Dyke Show - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 117 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 6 - Published: 8/13/2012 - Robert P., Laura P. - Complete
The Tamarian Version reviews
A challenge to Trekkies everywhere: Can you recognize a "Next Generation" episode when it's told entirely in historical and literary allusions?
StarTrek: The Next Generation - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 143 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/23/2012 - Complete
The Garatron Chronicles reviews
Containing everything you ever wanted to know about the Garatron race, including why they look so much like Andalites, why they can run so fast, and what they're doing on the Anati homeworld. (On temporary hiatus, since the next chapter will require some rather unusual research.)
Animorphs - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 12 - Words: 21,705 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 7/9/2012 - Published: 1/12/2008 - OC
B-Arking Up the Wrong Hometree reviews
You know the one question you wanted to ask all through the movie, right? Well, what if it didn't actually have an answer?
Avatar - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 796 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 10 - Published: 4/13/2012 - Grace A., Parker S. - Complete
House Guests: The Magic School Bus reviews
A companion piece to my HP/Star Trek: The Next Generation crossover. Ever wonder which of the Friz's students would end up in which House? Well, wonder no more.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Magic School Bus - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,285 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 7 - Published: 2/7/2012 - Sorting Hat - Complete
The Rest of the Fanfic reviews
The untold stories of various HP characters, as they might have sounded on Paul Harvey's "The Rest of the Story".
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,512 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/28/2012
Expedient reviews
Drabble. The bus's powers are useful for more than just field trips.
Magic School Bus - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 115 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/7/2011 - V. Frizzle - Complete
Caught on Film reviews
Just whose cameras were those that the toys used to blind the Prospector? And what happened when that family developed their film?
Toy Story - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 19 - Words: 30,607 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 230 - Follows: 130 - Updated: 11/5/2011 - Published: 1/3/2006 - OC - Complete
Empeiros reviews
Drabble. Innocent tongue twister, or expression of ruthless scientific skepticism? You decide.
Enchanted Forest - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 126 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Published: 10/28/2011 - Complete
Services reviews
Drabble. The aliens may not have exterminated humanity, but they sure wrecked a lot of our stuff... or did they?
Crossover - Misc. Cartoons & Independence Day - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 126 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/17/2011 - Complete
This Fic Will Change Your Life! reviews
A series of unrelated one-shots by several authors, each centering around one of the words in Douglas Adams's "dictionary of things there aren't words for yet - but there ought to be". Chapter 6: The Weasley twins go to Motspur.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,203 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 8/13/2011 - Published: 6/22/2010
NCIS Fragments reviews
The problem with writing for a show like "NCIS" is that you're continually thinking of these lovely bits of character interaction without having a plot to attach them to. Herewith, therefore, a collection of miscellaneous scenes in search of stories.
NCIS - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 2,614 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 7/5/2011 - Published: 2/19/2009 - Complete
30 Days of Speed reviews
On April 5, 2003, Central City schoolgirl Sarah Palmer provided the Justice League with vital assistance, and as a reward was granted her heart's desire: one month's worth of contact with the Speed Force. This is her story.
Flash - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 17,743 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 6/10/2011 - Published: 3/8/2009 - OC - Complete
Knockoffs reviews
Drabble. Accept no substitutes... especially not this one.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 162 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/21/2011 - Arthur W., Molly W. - Complete
The Illusions They Recall reviews
Six extra verses for "Both Sides Now". One for each Animorph. Enjoy.
Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 573 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 14 - Published: 4/9/2011 - Complete
Game Theory reviews
One supervillain begets another...
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 398 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Published: 3/7/2011 - Complete
Gaviiform reviews
Drabble. A speculation about why the jurors were in danger of forgetting their names.
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 127 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Published: 3/1/2011 - Complete
From Pole to Pole reviews
Missing-chapter story for "Voyage of the Dawn Treader". Who says there's nothing exciting about having a round world?
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,156 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/14/2011 - Eustace Scrubb, Reepicheep, Caspian X - Complete
Malignancy reviews
Drabble. Never trust a supervillain with a ribbon on his lapel.
Captain Marvel/Shazam - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 111 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/15/2010 - Doctor Sivana, Billy Batson/Captain Marvel - Complete
The Starship of the Seven Windows reviews
Dedicated to anyone else who has had the misfortune to require a new computer during the past year. And they though the Iconian probe was bad...
StarTrek: The Next Generation - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,020 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/20/2010 - J. Picard, Data - Complete
House Guests reviews
Ever wonder which member of the Enterprise crew would end up in which house? Well, wonder no more.
Crossover - StarTrek: The Next Generation & Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,976 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/21/2010 - Sorting Hat - Complete
Sources reviews
Drabble. Not every use for X-ray vision is naughty.
Superman - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 133 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/2/2010 - Clark K./Kal-El/Superman, Jimmy O. - Complete
Life Happens reviews
Requested by udita. Turtle and Theo had planned not to have children - but, as we all know, if you want to hear God laugh...
Westing Game - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,431 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 6/24/2010 - Published: 11/19/2009 - Turtle W., Theo T.
Variety reviews
Drabble. Why is it always the Hatter who gets Alice in these stories?
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 103 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Published: 6/21/2010 - [Alice, Gryphon] - Complete
Performed reviews
Drabble. Suggested by a comment of estrellaSMC's. Of all the records in the Giver's library, one has particular poignancy for him.
Giver - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 175 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 6/9/2010 - The Giver - Complete
Stockton Syndrome reviews
Lady? Tiger? Calvin's not crazy about either of them.
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 534 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/17/2010 - Calvin - Complete
Junior Agent reviews
An AU version of "KAOS in Control", with spoilers for that episode. What if 99 had been hit by the retrogressor ray?
Get Smart - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,202 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/12/2010 - Max S./Agent 86, Agent 99 - Complete
MNC reviews
Crossover. What does it take to prevent the Death-Eater movement from ever existing? Less than you might think.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,311 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/16/2010 - OC - Complete
Tangents reviews
Drabble. Sometimes you're reminded of things at the oddest moments - especially if you have all the memories of humanity inside your head.
Giver - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 143 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 11 - Published: 3/20/2010 - The Giver - Complete
Trademarked reviews
Drabble. Being the best explanation I can think of for this movie.
Crossover - Misc. Comics & Children of the Corn - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 122 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Complete
Surcharge reviews
Post-war drabble sequence. 9,833 sections in the U. S. Tax Code, and not one of them covered this.
Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 449 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 2/23/2010 - Published: 2/19/2010 - OC - Complete
Nehushtan reviews
Sonnet. The events of 4 Kings 18:4, as seen by a nameless Israelite.
Bible - Rated: K - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 115 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Published: 2/14/2010 - OC - Complete
Honorary Member reviews
As the other Leaguers head home on Christmas Eve, J'onn stays behind for the annual visit of a certain honorary League member. No, not that one.
Justice League - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,244 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/24/2009 - J'onn J./Martian Manhunter - Complete
Reunion reviews
Sonnet. Not everyone dislikes winter...
Greek Mythology - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 121 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 7 - Published: 12/10/2009 - [Hades, Persephone] - Complete
Tabernacles reviews
Post-THS drabble. To be Pendragon is to have many gifts - including, occasionally, prophecy.
Space Trilogy - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 139 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/7/2009 - Complete
And Be Ye Thankful reviews
Postscript to "Child's Play". If the team had Thanksgiving dinner together, they ought to have said what they were thankful for, right?
NCIS - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,874 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/25/2009 - Abby S., Leroy Jethro Gibbs - Complete
Ex Antiquitate Urbis reviews
Two young Providence antiquarians meet outside the Judge Durfee house, and share their reflections on the lure of the past. Written for the Yuletide Exchange - and, retroactively, the Malachy Challenge as well.
Cthulhu Mythos - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,736 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 11/7/2009 - Complete
Jethro's Girls reviews
The evening after "The Inside Man", Ziva takes Abby up on the "girls' night out" she proposed the evening before. Abby/Ziva bonding fic.
NCIS - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,645 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/19/2009 - Ziva D., Abby S. - Complete
The Horcrux Song reviews
The classic rock-'n'-roll tune about Lord Voldemort, and his little bits of soul.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 217 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 10 - Published: 10/15/2009 - Voldemort - Complete
Spouted reviews
Drabble. What happens when you hear Brad Bird described as a Randite once too often.
Incredibles - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 133 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/16/2009 - Complete
Defections reviews
Drabble. How the much-vaunted Marriage Law would work in actual practice.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 128 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/26/2009 - Complete
He'll Be Coming Like the Lightning When He Comes reviews
For those who like an apocalyptic note in their campfire songs.
Bible - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 418 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 9 - Published: 7/19/2009 - Jesus - Complete
Annually reviews
Drabble. Geordi LaForge gets a little astronomy lesson.
StarTrek: The Next Generation - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 131 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/12/2009 - B. Crusher, G. LaForge - Complete
The First Joyful Mystery reviews
The first of a series. In which Jonas is given a memory of the Annunciation.
Giver - Rated: K - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,549 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 6/27/2009 - Published: 2/2/2004 - Jonas - Complete
My Last Supper reviews
If the ABBA people expect me to apologize for this, they little know their man.
Bible - Rated: K - English - Parody/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 314 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Published: 6/14/2009 - Jesus - Complete
All Answers Are Wrong reviews
Sandy's thoughts as he slips Section Fifteen into the drawer. Slight Sandy/Turtle... something, I'm not really sure what.
Westing Game - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 980 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/23/2009 - Sandy M. - Complete
A Modern Fable reviews
You'd just better like puns. That's all I can say.
Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 353 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/21/2009 - Cassie - Complete
Anvils Keep Falling on My Head reviews
A possible theme song for Wile E. Coyote. B. J. Thomas, I apologize in advance.
Looney Tunes - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 180 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Published: 4/15/2009 - Wile E. Coyote - Complete
Private Practice reviews
A truly disturbing speculation about the Joker's true identity, inspired by an offhand remark in "Dave Barry Turns 40".
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 569 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Published: 4/9/2009 - Joker - Complete
Easements reviews
Drabble. Takes place at the end of the beginning-of-term banquet in OotP.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 128 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/27/2009 - Severus S., A. Sinistra - Complete
High Heaven, Low Earth reviews
The story that answers the question: Why did Japan get involved in the Second World War, if it was really a conflict between Greek gods?
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,862 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/26/2009 - Complete
First Years reviews
Shortly before their first banquet as Hogwarts professors, Severus Snape and Charity Burbage have an illuminating conversation.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,599 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/31/2009 - Severus S., Charity B. - Complete
Smitten reviews
Drabble. When they said anything, they meant anything.
Green Lantern - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 107 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 8 - Published: 9/28/2008 - OC - Complete
PVS: Pudicitia Venatricis Sempervivens reviews
When Artemis visits a hospital in her capacity as goddess of childbirth, Thalia develops a fondness for a young coma victim. Upon learning that she is about to be euthanized, she petitions Artemis to intervene - but that may not be as easy as it sounds.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,567 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/28/2008 - Thalia G., Artemis - Complete
Flight 123 Down reviews
Vignette. Grover the Waiter isn't always just a nuisance...
Sesame Street - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 458 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/22/2008 - Complete
Tallahatchie reviews
Drabble. "Voluntary hosts... were being slammed into the cages alongside their reluctant brothers and sisters. Just in case." -#37
Animorphs - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 119 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/21/2008 - OC - Complete
Violet's Trylet reviews
Why Violet Baudelaire is an inventor and not a poet.
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 425 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/14/2008 - Violet B., Klaus B. - Complete
Supers and Slide Guitars reviews
A story of loss, heartbreak, wild hope, blissful reunion, and several bad puns involving country music lyrics.
Incredibles - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,078 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 5/3/2008 - Published: 4/30/2007 - Mr. Incredible - Complete
Timor Mortis reviews
A nameless seaman reflects on Davy Jones's final question.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 573 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/2/2008 - OC - Complete
The Favour of Princes reviews
Abby comes into work one morning and finds that Ziva is, and apparently always has been, Gibbs's favorite team member. How will she react?
NCIS - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,162 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 6 - Published: 5/1/2008 - Abby S., Leroy Jethro Gibbs - Complete
The Sport of Kings reviews
A very short, very dark, very AU vignette. The Earth has been conquered, the other Animorphs have been infested, and Tobias... has been killed? No, that would be too easy.
Animorphs - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 515 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/20/2008 - Tobias - Complete
Rarely, Rarely, Comest Thou reviews
Desire visits Delight shortly before she becomes Delirium. Sheer sisterfluff of the sort you rarely see in this subcategory.
Sandman - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,919 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/19/2008 - Desire, Delirum/Delight - Complete
Doubt reviews
Calvin wonders whether Hobbes is real, after all.
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 337 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/4/2008 - Calvin, Hobbes - Complete
The Revelation of J'onn reviews
Feghoot. Telepaths have their own ideas of fun - and of some other things...
Justice League - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 328 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/19/2008 - Wally W./Flash, J'onn J./Martian Manhunter - Complete
Double Acrostic reviews
A classic Victorian puzzle with a Batman twist.
Batman - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 593 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/11/2008 - Complete
Postprandial Speech of the Wolf reviews
That is, when he was a guest of the lamb, Is. 11:6, NAB. A sonnet.
Bible - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 200 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/20/2008 - Complete
Concordancia reviews
Drabble. A reflection on some of our hero's characteristics.
Superman - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 165 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Published: 1/10/2008 - Clark K./Kal-El/Superman - Complete
The Second Joyful Mystery reviews
The second in a projected series of 20. In which J'onn J'onzz is flung back in time and witnesses the Visitation.
Justice League - Rated: K - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,443 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/30/2007 - J'onn J./Martian Manhunter - Complete
The City, the Giant, and the River reviews
In which the Endless unwittingly pay tribute to one of the great works of English literature. Happy birthday, John Bunyan.
Sandman - Rated: K - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,420 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 7 - Published: 11/28/2007 - Destruction, Despair, Death - Complete
Contrary Moon reviews
Takes place during Gets Lost in Space. Phoebe discovers that one of Saturn's moons has great personal meaning for her.
Magic School Bus - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 679 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/29/2007 - Phoebe T. - Complete
The Disastrous Deity reviews
Feghoot. Demeter's children had no idea that the deck was so stacked against them...
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 316 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/29/2007 - OC, Dionysus - Complete
Speed reviews
Dash's response to Violet's death, as seen by a superhero reporter at the Metroville Times.
Incredibles - Rated: K - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 802 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 8 - Published: 8/14/2007 - Dash P. - Complete
Unaltered reviews
Drabble. There are, indeed, many disadvantages to serving evil...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 129 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/6/2007 - Voldemort, Severus S. - Complete
Shibboleth reviews
Drabble. Every technology has its drawbacks.
Animorphs - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 129 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/9/2007 - Complete
This Narrow World reviews
The most unfairly stereotyped cabin at Camp Half-Blood speaks up for itself, sort of.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 494 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 13 - Published: 6/29/2007 - Complete
Aquila Rapax reviews
In which a regrettably vague prophecy, a paranoid Potions master, and a platter of Mexican empanadas conspire to show yet another Defence against the Dark Arts teacher the door.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,373 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/27/2007 - Horace S., OC - Complete
Love in N Dimensions reviews
My goal was to create a pairing that had never been used before. I think I might have succeeded.
Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 706 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/11/2007 - Complete
Metastasis reviews
It just keeps growing... and growing... and growing...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,577 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/18/2007 - Godric G., Albus D. - Complete
Hobbyist reviews
Drabble. A quick glance into Oracle's private life in the Clocktower.
Batman - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 113 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/9/2007 - Barbara G. - Complete
Miscues reviews
In which a misunderstanding arises about the meaning of the word "billiard", 4,000,000,000,000,000 Bludgers attack Hogwarts, the Room of Requirement eats a Defence against the Dark Arts teacher, and Argus Filch saves the day, not necessarily in that order.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,783 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 6 - Published: 4/3/2007 - S. Vector, Argus F. - Complete
The Answer Forty-Twa reviews
A brief summary of the quest for Ultimate Truth. With apologies to the Clancy Brothers.
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 346 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/7/2007 - Complete
Henrietta reviews
Drabble. For some, the Rapture was a death sentence; for others, it was a wake-up call. For others still, it was a nuisance, plain and simple.
Left Behind - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 105 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/2/2007 - OC - Complete
The Defenestration of Cornelius Fudge reviews
Being a scrupulously researched account of the first meeting of Cornelius Fudge and Margaret Thatcher. Well, scrupulously researched in the sense that I looked up which way Downing Street runs.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,131 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 6 - Published: 1/17/2007 - C. Fudge - Complete
Mode-rn Bride reviews
Well, where did you think Elastigirl got her wedding dress from?
Incredibles - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,202 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 14 - Published: 1/11/2007 - Edna Mode, Elastigirl - Complete
The Treacherous Tile reviews
Although this story is only 322 words long, it manages to contain a sneaky trap, mah-jongg, bugging, and an elaborate pun. Under these circumstances, my readers will doubtless wish to avoid it.
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 363 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/27/2006 - Lemony S., Count O. - Complete
A Sorting Song by Dumbledore reviews
A companion to Textualsphinx's "A Sorting Song by Severus". Nobody outdoes Albus when it comes to patter songs.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 677 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 17 - Published: 12/3/2006 - Sorting Hat, Albus D. - Complete
Question and Answer reviews
Feghoot. Gyro has some difficulty getting his Helper to answer a few questions.
DuckTales - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 418 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Published: 10/25/2006 - Complete
Hello, Young Supers reviews
Based on Rodgers and Hammerstein's "Hello, Young Lovers". Elastigirl reflects on the supers born after the Act.
Incredibles - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 382 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/10/2006 - Elastigirl - Complete
Prevent reviews
Drabble. The best laid plans of mice and supers...
Incredibles - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 129 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/7/2005 - Violet P. - Complete
It Will Be Done, My Lord reviews
A clone's-eye view of Order 66.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 207 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 115 - Follows: 15 - Published: 10/2/2005 - Complete
Standards reviews
Drabble. The dilemma of a college-bound superheroine.
Incredibles - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 130 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/8/2005 - Mr. Incredible, Rick Dicker - Complete
Unmerit reviews
Drabble. A meeting between Jack Sparrow and one of his many fans.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 179 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 3 - Published: 12/26/2004 - Capt. Jack Sparrow, OC - Complete
Yes, Violet reviews
Just a little bit of Christmas-Eve fluff. Violet spies on Santa Claus.
Incredibles - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,220 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/24/2004 - Violet P. - Complete
Delivery reviews
A 100-word drabble involving Vernon Dursley and an owl.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 130 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/27/2004 - Vernon D. - Complete
Sonnet upon the Youngest Endless reviews
Being a record of the poet's sentiments upon discovering that Delight and Delirium were the same person.
Sandman - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 193 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/7/2004 - Delirum/Delight - Complete
Sonnet unto His Dæmon reviews
Being, well... a sonnet unto the author's dæmon.
His Dark Materials - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 131 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/10/2004 - Complete
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