Qoheleth
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Joined 08-19-02, id: 255561, Profile Updated: 06-23-12
Author has written 107 stories for Giver, His Dark Materials, Sandman, Jumanji, Animorphs, Harry Potter, Incredibles, Pirates of the Caribbean, Star Wars, Toy Story, DuckTales, Series Of Unfortunate Events, Left Behind, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Batman, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Magic School Bus, Justice League, Superman, Bible, Calvin & Hobbes, NCIS, Sesame Street, Green Lantern, Flash, Batman Begins/Dark Knight, Looney Tunes, Westing Game, StarTrek: The Next Generation, Cthulhu Mythos, Space Trilogy, Greek Mythology, Misc. Comics, Get Smart, Alice in Wonderland, Captain Marvel/Shazam, Chronicles of Narnia, Misc. Cartoons, Enchanted Forest, Avatar, Dick Van Dyke Show, Veggie Tales, Misc. Movies, Flatland, Phineas and Ferb, Children of the Corn, and Independence Day.

I Qoheleth was king over Israel in Jerusalem. And I gave my heart to seek and search out by wisdom concerning all things that are done under heaven: this sore travail hath God given to the sons of man to be exercised therewith. -Eccles. 1:12-13

There are a few things I'd like to say before you read my stuff. First, for the benefit of you statisticians in the audience, I'm an American male of mixed European extraction and legal voting age.

Second, I am currently holding a contest to find a new author for my Westing Game story Life Happens. The details are given in the author's note in the first chapter, should anyone reading this be interested.

And finally, I'd like to take this space to introduce: THE GREAT MALACHY O'MORE FF CHALLENGE.

You may be familiar with a list of Latin phrases, generally two or three words long, that were ostensibly written by St. Malachy O'More as prophetic descriptions of every pope and major antipope from Celestine II to Benedict XVI. (For instance, the ineffectual Dutchman Adrian VI is described as Leo Florentius, or "the Florentine lion" - go figure.) What I'd like to do is set up a writers' challenge: you contact me to express your interest, I will randomly assign you a motto, and you then have to write a fic that uses that motto as its title. What nature that fic takes doesn't much matter; it can be a story, a poem, or something else entirely. The only requirement is that it has to fit its title. (See my C2 archive for examples of how this can work out.)

Thank you very much for your time.


G. K. CHESTERTON ON...

...THE JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA: "[E]ven polytheism seems often the combination of several monotheisms. A god will gain only a minor seat on Mount Olympus, when he had owned earth and heaven and all the stars while he lived in his own little valley." -The Everlasting Man

...CERTAIN OF MY REVIEWERS: "'...Oh, if these new pagans would only be old pagans, they would be a little wiser! The old pagans knew that mere naked Nature-worship must have a cruel side. They knew that the eye of Apollo can blast and blind.'" -"The Eye of Apollo", from The Innocence of Father Brown

...THE FORMER ENGLISH TRANSLATION OF THE MASS: "Christianity even when watered down is hot enough to boil all modern society to rags. The mere minimum of the Church would be a deadly ultimatum to the world." -Orthodoxy

...WHAT WAS WRONG WITH MAMMA MIA!: "For the purpose even of the wildest romance, results must be real; results must be irrevocable. Christian marriage is the great example of a real and irrevocable result; and that is why it is the chief subject and centre of all our romantic writing." -also Orthodoxy

...THOSE WHO OBJECT TO THIS SITE HAVING GUIDELINES: "Anarchism adjures us to be bold creative artists, and care for no laws or limits. But it is impossible to be an artist and not care for laws and limits. Art is limitation; the essence of every picture is the frame." -Orthodoxy, once again

...THE EUROPEAN UNION, AND WHY IT REALLY DIDN'T WANT CHRISTIANITY MENTIONED IN ITS CONSTITUTION: "The instinct of the Pagan empire would have said, 'You shall all be Roman citizens, and grow alike; let the German grow less slow and reverent; the Frenchman less experimental and swift.' But the instinct of Christian Europe says, 'Let the German remain slow and reverent, that the Frenchman may more safely be swift and experimental. We will make an equipoise out of these excesses. The absurdity called Germany shall correct the insanity called France.'" -yep, you guessed it, Orthodoxy

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Invictus by Asianchoose reviews
Oublie les rancunes et les jalousies. Grandis. Ne reste que le doute, invaincu.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - French - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,458 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Published: 1/9/2013 - Scorpius M., Rose W. - Complete
Look Beside You by the ticking clock reviews
Because they are more than just a team-they're a family.
Avengers - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,281 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/13/2012
Idle Hands and Hours by werelemur reviews
The Doctor needs a hobby. Other then fixing the dematerialization circuit, that is.
Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Angst/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 101 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Published: 3/21/2012 - 3rd Doctor - Complete
Growing Up by Pumpkin2Face reviews
Because everything changed when Phineas and Ferb moved away Oneshot
Phineas and Ferb - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 679 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 16 - Published: 7/6/2011
The Shapes of Our Souls by Bird of Poetry reviews
The Animorphs - and their dæmons - reshape themselves. Or, six moments from the time period of books 2 - 5, as told by each of the six Animorphs.
Crossover - Animorphs & His Dark Materials - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,964 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/24/2011 - Complete
When Math, Psychology, Drama, and Philosophy Clash by Haiza Tyri reviews
A humorous explanation for why there are four different books telling four different versions of the life of Jesus in the Bible.
Bible - Rated: K - English - Spiritual/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 778 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/1/2010 - Complete
Lipogram by Ember Nickel reviews
Johnson, postwar. Just for an instant it's as if nothing is missing.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 194 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 7 - Published: 7/17/2009 - Angelina J. - Complete
A Weasley Family Thanksgiving by JoeMerl reviews
During Thanksgiving dinner, Fred just can't shake the feeling that something's not quite right. Rated for things you shouldn't discuss at your family meal. Crackfic.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,696 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 7 - Published: 11/27/2008 - Harry P., George W., Molly W., Fred W. - Complete
Minerva McGonagall and the Insurance Salesman by shewhoguards reviews
The hapless insurance salesman squirmed. “If you will recall, Professor McGonagall, last time we spoke I told you we wished to cancel your policy. The amount of issues the school has – it’s simply too high-risk for us...”
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,252 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 16 - Published: 4/22/2008 - Minerva M.
Platform i by shewhoguards reviews
The first time Remus Lupin tried to board the Hogwarts Express, he went to Platform EightAndAQuarter by mistake.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,490 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 11 - Published: 10/21/2007 - Remus L. - Complete
The Art of War by Viola Telcontar reviews
Dooku and a friend discuss politics over a game and some drinks. The seed of a bold plan is planted.
Star Wars - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,761 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/6/2006 - Count Dooku, E. Palpatine - Complete
Behind The Eyes by Phoebonica reviews
...and he simply had an odd habit of disappearing for hours on end sometimes. A quirk, an idiosyncrasy.
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,746 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/27/2006 - Lemony S. - Complete
Boy, Interrupted by TrudiRose reviews
Oneshot: the curse from Chip's point of view.
Beauty and the Beast - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,176 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/2/2005 - Chip, Mrs. Potts - Complete
Formerly, Elastigirl? by littlesoprano reviews
Bob isn't the only one having an identity crisis.
Incredibles - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,836 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/29/2004 - Complete
The Heretic by L. Emmist reviews
Annoying little sisters, helmacrons who can morph, and a whole lot of Yeerks! We've got trouble! -- PG-13 for action. Enjoy Chapter Twenty-Nine! --
Animorphs - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 29 - Words: 36,617 - Reviews: 290 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 7/29/2004 - Published: 12/26/2002
Emotional Blackmail by Kaleyanne reviews
That mighty manipulator known as the Ellimist works his wiles on Erek, convincing him to help the Animorphs save the Iskoort.
Animorphs - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,244 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 10 - Published: 6/20/2004 - Complete
Aximili's Headache by Blue Dragon reviews
Aximili is living his worst nightmare: he's a voluntary controller. And for the sake of his Yeerk, he's wading willingly through his own lies, his own treachery, and towards his own damnation. [during 54]
Animorphs - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 83,751 - Reviews: 312 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 3/7/2004 - Published: 11/7/2001 - Complete
The Snowball Fic by dissolvablelabels reviews
Takes place after book 4 with references to book 1. An itty bitty humor ficlet. Won't take you but a minute. It's funny. Really. Voldemort makes out his list of who to kill and in what order.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 671 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/3/2003 - Voldemort, George W.
The Subreality Series by Nate Grey reviews
The adventures of an unfortunate Writer and his Muse...er, Muses.
Anime X-overs - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 36,848 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 10/1/2002 - Published: 11/5/2000 - Complete
Symphony by Arwen reviews
A life can be likened to a symphony, and rebirth and restarting can come at the oddest moments. A tale of one such symphony and one such rebirth. A war in space combined with personal battles and an epidemic seeded by the enemy. (begun at about book 28; i
Animorphs - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,469 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Published: 9/3/2001
A Loss by Blue Dragon reviews
After the war, certain things have happened, but the Yeerks aren't gone. Worse they're after the Animorphs. Jake knows, because he comes home to find Ax dying and the Yeerks at his house...
Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,076 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/13/2000 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Exweyr reviews
Crossover drabble. It runs in the family...
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 113 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/15 - Dad - Complete
The Parallel reviews
Through the vagaries of space travel, a parallel universe's "Animorphs" have been transported to the reality we all know and love. Now they have to figure out a way to get home - but do all of them really want to?
Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 35 - Words: 64,410 - Reviews: 215 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 1/20 - Published: 10/31/2004 - OC
Sacred Host reviews
Somewhere in the Yeerk pool, you know someone is doing this.
Animorphs - Rated: T - English - Drama/Spiritual - Chapters: 32 - Words: 57,132 - Reviews: 424 - Favs: 195 - Follows: 216 - Updated: 12/28/2013 - Published: 3/29/2007 - OC
Interfere reviews
Drabble. Even when Candace isn't around to bust her brothers, fate still has its hands full keeping their mother oblivious.
Phineas and Ferb - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 140 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/18/2013 - Linda - Complete
Des Pensées reviews
Or, An Existential Crisis in Pointland.
Flatland - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,366 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12/11/2013 - Complete
Origin Story reviews
Describing the formation and first adventure of the Justice League of Hogwarts. (Hey, if you're going to do a superpowered-Harry story, do it right, that's what I say.)
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 30 - Words: 53,527 - Reviews: 147 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 12/2/2013 - Published: 10/4/2008
Brigitte reviews
In the jungles of Jumanji, there are Guardians: young, ordinary mortals plucked out of history to tend the terrors of the game. One of them is a thirteenth-century merchant's daughter named Brigitte. This is her story.
Jumanji - Rated: K+ - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,660 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 11/11/2013 - Published: 7/12/2004 - OC
Oligochaete reviews
Drabble, high-school era. Why Calvin's classmates, if they have any sense, will stay in the closet where it's safe.
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 130 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/27/2013 - [Moe, Ronald] Calvin - Complete
The Bucket Lift, or Frippery Triumphant reviews
A Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory AU describing what might have happened in the Fizzy Lifting Room, had Charlie been just a touch less deserving. (Come on, haven't you ever wanted to hear that verse of the Oompa-Loompa Song?)
Misc. Movies - Rated: K - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 767 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/8/2013 - Complete
Ophiophage reviews
Drabble, technically AU. Even small plot holes look big when you poke them with chopsticks.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 113 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/2/2013 - Harry P. - Complete
Interfaces reviews
Drabble. Larry and Mr. Lunt give new meaning to the phrase "Internet piracy".
Veggie Tales - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 120 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/5/2012 - Complete
Distancing reviews
Drabble. Everyone thought it was just because of the censors...
Dick Van Dyke Show - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 117 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Published: 8/13/2012 - Robert P., Laura P. - Complete
The Tamarian Version reviews
A challenge to Trekkies everywhere: Can you recognize a "Next Generation" episode when it's told entirely in historical and literary allusions?
StarTrek: The Next Generation - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 143 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/23/2012 - Complete
The Garatron Chronicles reviews
Containing everything you ever wanted to know about the Garatron race, including why they look so much like Andalites, why they can run so fast, and what they're doing on the Anati homeworld.
Animorphs - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 12 - Words: 21,710 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 7/9/2012 - Published: 1/12/2008 - OC
B-Arking Up the Wrong Hometree reviews
You know the one question you wanted to ask all through the movie, right? Well, what if it didn't actually have an answer?
Avatar - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 796 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/13/2012 - Grace A., Parker S. - Complete
House Guests: The Magic School Bus reviews
A companion piece to my HP/Star Trek: The Next Generation crossover. Ever wonder which of the Friz's students would end up in which House? Well, wonder no more.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Magic School Bus - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,285 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/7/2012 - Sorting Hat - Complete
The Rest of the Fanfic reviews
The untold stories of various prominent fictional characters, as they might have sounded on Paul Harvey's "The Rest of the Story". May be moved to the Crossovers subcategory, depending on whether I come up with any such stories about non-HP characters.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,512 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/28/2012
Expedient reviews
Drabble. The bus's powers are useful for more than just field trips.
Magic School Bus - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 115 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/7/2011 - V. Frizzle - Complete
Caught on Film reviews
Just whose cameras were those that the toys used to blind the Prospector? And what happened when that family developed their film?
Toy Story - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 19 - Words: 30,499 - Reviews: 155 - Favs: 165 - Follows: 124 - Updated: 11/5/2011 - Published: 1/3/2006 - OC - Complete
Empeiros reviews
Drabble. Innocent tongue twister, or expression of ruthless scientific skepticism? You decide.
Enchanted Forest - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 126 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Published: 10/28/2011 - Complete
Services reviews
Drabble. The aliens may not have exterminated humanity, but they sure wrecked a lot of our stuff... or did they?
Crossover - Misc. Cartoons & Independence Day - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 126 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/17/2011 - Complete
This Fic Will Change Your Life! reviews
A series of unrelated one-shots by several authors, each centering around one of the words in Douglas Adams's "dictionary of things there aren't words for yet - but there ought to be". Chapter 6: The Weasley twins go to Motspur.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,203 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/13/2011 - Published: 6/22/2010
NCIS Fragments reviews
The problem with writing for a show like "NCIS" is that you're continually thinking of these lovely bits of character interaction without having a plot to attach them to. Herewith, therefore, a collection of miscellaneous scenes in search of stories.
NCIS - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 2,614 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 7/5/2011 - Published: 2/19/2009 - Complete
30 Days of Speed reviews
On April 5, 2003, Central City schoolgirl Sarah Palmer provided the Justice League with vital assistance, and as a reward was granted her heart's desire: one month's worth of contact with the Speed Force. This is her story.
Flash - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 17,732 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 6/10/2011 - Published: 3/8/2009 - OC - Complete
Knockoffs reviews
Drabble. Accept no substitutes... especially not this one.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 131 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/21/2011 - Arthur W., Molly W. - Complete
The Illusions They Recall reviews
Six extra verses for "Both Sides Now". One for each Animorph. Enjoy.
Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 574 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 11 - Published: 4/9/2011 - Complete
Game Theory reviews
One supervillain begets another...
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 398 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Published: 3/7/2011 - Complete
Gaviiform reviews
Drabble. A speculation about why the jurors were in danger of forgetting their names.
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 120 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/1/2011 - Complete
From Pole to Pole reviews
Missing-chapter story for "Voyage of the Dawn Treader". Who says there's nothing exciting about having a round world?
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,157 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/14/2011 - Eustace Scrubb, Reepicheep, Caspian X - Complete
Malignancy reviews
Drabble. Never trust a supervillain with a ribbon on his lapel.
Captain Marvel/Shazam - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 111 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 7 - Published: 11/15/2010 - Doctor Sivana, Billy Batson/Captain Marvel - Complete
The Starship of the Seven Windows reviews
Dedicated to anyone else who has had the misfortune to require a new computer during the past year. And they though the Iconian probe was bad...
StarTrek: The Next Generation - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,020 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 11 - Published: 10/20/2010 - J. Picard, Data - Complete
House Guests reviews
Ever wonder which member of the Enterprise crew would end up in which house? Well, wonder no more.
Crossover - StarTrek: The Next Generation & Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,976 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/21/2010 - Sorting Hat - Complete
Sources reviews
Drabble. Not every use for X-ray vision is naughty.
Superman - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 133 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 12 - Published: 7/2/2010 - Clark K./Kal-El/Superman, Jimmy O. - Complete
Life Happens reviews
Requested by udita. Turtle and Theo had planned not to have children - but, as we all know, if you want to hear God laugh...
Westing Game - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,430 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 6/24/2010 - Published: 11/19/2009 - Turtle W., Theo T.
Variety reviews
Drabble. Why is it always the Hatter who gets Alice in these stories?
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 103 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Published: 6/21/2010 - [Alice, Gryphon] - Complete
Performed reviews
Drabble. Suggested by a comment of estrellaSMC's. Of all the records in the Giver's library, one has particular poignancy for him.
Giver - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 175 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/9/2010 - The Giver - Complete
Stockton Syndrome reviews
Lady? Tiger? Calvin's not crazy about either of them.
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 534 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/17/2010 - Calvin - Complete
Junior Agent reviews
An AU version of "KAOS in Control", with spoilers for that episode. What if 99 had been hit by the retrogressor ray?
Get Smart - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,201 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/12/2010 - Max S./Agent 86, Agent 99 - Complete
MNC reviews
Crossover. What does it take to prevent the Death-Eater movement from ever existing? Less than you might think.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,311 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/16/2010 - OC - Complete
Tangents reviews
Drabble. Sometimes you're reminded of things at the oddest moments - especially if you have all the memories of humanity inside your head.
Giver - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 143 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 8 - Published: 3/20/2010 - The Giver - Complete
Trademarked reviews
Drabble. Being the best explanation I can think of for this movie.
Crossover - Misc. Comics & Children of the Corn - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 122 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Complete
Surcharge reviews
Post-war drabble sequence. 9,833 sections in the U. S. Tax Code, and not one of them covered this.
Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 449 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 2/23/2010 - Published: 2/19/2010 - OC - Complete
Nehushtan reviews
Sonnet. The events of 4 Kings 18:4, as seen by a nameless Israelite.
Bible - Rated: K - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 116 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/14/2010 - OC - Complete
Honorary Member reviews
As the other Leaguers head home on Christmas Eve, J'onn stays behind for the annual visit of a certain honorary League member. No, not that one.
Justice League - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,242 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/24/2009 - J'onn J./Martian Manhunter - Complete
Reunion reviews
Sonnet. Not everyone dislikes winter...
Greek Mythology - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 121 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/10/2009 - Hades, Persephone - Complete
Tabernacles reviews
Post-THS drabble. To be Pendragon is to have many gifts - including, occasionally, prophecy.
Space Trilogy - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 139 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/7/2009 - Complete
And Be Ye Thankful reviews
Postscript to "Child's Play". If the team had Thanksgiving dinner together, they ought to have said what they were thankful for, right?
NCIS - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,874 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/25/2009 - Abby S., Leroy Jethro Gibbs - Complete
Ex Antiquitate Urbis reviews
Two young Providence antiquarians meet outside the Judge Durfee house, and share their reflections on the lure of the past. Written for the Yuletide Exchange - and, retroactively, the Malachy Challenge as well.
Cthulhu Mythos - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,736 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 11/7/2009 - Complete
Jethro's Girls reviews
The evening after "The Inside Man", Ziva takes Abby up on the "girls' night out" she proposed the evening before. Abby/Ziva bonding fic.
NCIS - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,645 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/19/2009 - Ziva D., Abby S. - Complete
The Horcrux Song reviews
The classic rock-'n'-roll tune about Lord Voldemort, and his little bits of soul.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 217 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 9 - Published: 10/15/2009 - Voldemort - Complete
Spouted reviews
Drabble. What happens when you hear Brad Bird described as a Randite once too often.
Incredibles - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 133 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/16/2009 - Complete
Defections reviews
Drabble. How the much-vaunted Marriage Law would work in actual practice.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 128 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/26/2009 - Complete
He'll Be Coming Like the Lightning When He Comes reviews
For those who like an apocalyptic note in their campfire songs.
Bible - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 418 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 5 - Published: 7/19/2009 - Jesus - Complete
Annually reviews
Drabble. Geordi LaForge gets a little astronomy lesson.
StarTrek: The Next Generation - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 131 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/12/2009 - B. Crusher, G. LaForge - Complete
The First Joyful Mystery reviews
The first of a series. In which Jonas is given a memory of the Annunciation.
Giver - Rated: K - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,549 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 6/27/2009 - Published: 2/2/2004 - Jonas - Complete
My Last Supper reviews
If the ABBA people expect me to apologize for this, they little know their man.
Bible - Rated: K - English - Parody/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 289 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Published: 6/14/2009 - Jesus - Complete
All Answers Are Wrong reviews
Sandy's thoughts as he slips Section Fifteen into the drawer. Slight Sandy/Turtle... something, I'm not really sure what.
Westing Game - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 980 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/23/2009 - Sandy M. - Complete
A Modern Fable reviews
You'd just better like puns. That's all I can say.
Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 353 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/21/2009 - Cassie - Complete
Anvils Keep Falling on My Head reviews
A possible theme song for Wile E. Coyote. B. J. Thomas, I apologize in advance.
Looney Tunes - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 180 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Published: 4/15/2009 - Wile E. Coyote - Complete
Private Practice reviews
A truly disturbing speculation about the Joker's true identity, inspired by an offhand remark in "Dave Barry Turns 40".
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 569 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Published: 4/9/2009 - Joker - Complete
Easements reviews
Drabble. Takes place at the end of the beginning-of-term banquet in OotP.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 128 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/27/2009 - Severus S., A. Sinistra - Complete
High Heaven, Low Earth reviews
The story that answers the question: Why did Japan get involved in the Second World War, if it was really a conflict between Greek gods?
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,862 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/26/2009 - Complete
First Years reviews
Shortly before their first banquet as Hogwarts professors, Severus Snape and Charity Burbage have an illuminating conversation.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,599 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/31/2009 - Severus S., Charity B. - Complete
Smitten reviews
Drabble. When they said anything, they meant anything.
Green Lantern - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 107 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 8 - Published: 9/28/2008 - OC - Complete
PVS: Pudicitia Venatricis Sempervivens reviews
When Artemis visits a hospital in her capacity as goddess of childbirth, Thalia develops a fondness for a young coma victim. Upon learning that she is about to be euthanized, she petitions Artemis to intervene - but that may not be as easy as it sounds.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,567 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/28/2008 - Thalia G., Artemis - Complete
Flight 123 Down reviews
Vignette. Grover the Waiter isn't always just a nuisance...
Sesame Street - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 458 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/22/2008 - Complete
Tallahatchie reviews
Drabble. "Voluntary hosts... were being slammed into the cages alongside their reluctant brothers and sisters. Just in case." -#37
Animorphs - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 119 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/21/2008 - OC - Complete
Violet's Trylet reviews
Why Violet Baudelaire is an inventor and not a poet.
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 425 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/14/2008 - Violet B., Klaus B. - Complete
Supers and Slide Guitars reviews
A story of loss, heartbreak, wild hope, blissful reunion, and several bad puns involving country music lyrics.
Incredibles - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,078 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 5/3/2008 - Published: 4/30/2007 - Mr. Incredible - Complete
Timor Mortis reviews
A nameless seaman reflects on Davy Jones's final question.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 573 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/2/2008 - OC - Complete
The Favour of Princes reviews
Abby comes into work one morning and finds that Ziva is, and apparently always has been, Gibbs's favorite team member. How will she react?
NCIS - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,162 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/1/2008 - Abby S., Leroy Jethro Gibbs - Complete
The Sport of Kings reviews
A very short, very dark, very AU vignette. The Earth has been conquered, the other Animorphs have been infested, and Tobias... has been killed? No, that would be too easy.
Animorphs - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 515 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/20/2008 - Tobias - Complete
Rarely, Rarely, Comest Thou reviews
Desire visits Delight shortly before she becomes Delirium. Sheer sisterfluff of the sort you rarely see in this subcategory.
Sandman - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,919 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 18 - Published: 3/19/2008 - Desire, Delirum/Delight - Complete
Doubt reviews
Calvin wonders whether Hobbes is real, after all.
Calvin & Hobbes - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 337 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/4/2008 - Calvin, Hobbes - Complete
The Revelation of J'onn reviews
Feghoot. Telepaths have their own ideas of fun - and of some other things...
Justice League - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 328 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/19/2008 - Wally W./Flash, J'onn J./Martian Manhunter - Complete
Double Acrostic reviews
A classic Victorian puzzle with a Batman twist.
Batman - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 593 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/11/2008 - Complete
Postprandial Speech of the Wolf reviews
That is, when he was a guest of the lamb, Is. 11:6, NAB. A sonnet.
Bible - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 200 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/20/2008 - Complete
Concordancia reviews
Drabble. A reflection on some of our hero's characteristics.
Superman - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 165 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Published: 1/10/2008 - Clark K./Kal-El/Superman - Complete
The Second Joyful Mystery reviews
The second in a projected series of 20. In which J'onn J'onzz is flung back in time and witnesses the Visitation.
Justice League - Rated: K - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,443 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/30/2007 - J'onn J./Martian Manhunter - Complete
The City, the Giant, and the River reviews
In which the Endless unwittingly pay tribute to one of the great works of English literature. Happy birthday, John Bunyan.
Sandman - Rated: K - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,420 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Published: 11/28/2007 - Destruction, Despair, Death - Complete
Contrary Moon reviews
Takes place during Gets Lost in Space. Phoebe discovers that one of Saturn's moons has great personal meaning for her.
Magic School Bus - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 679 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/29/2007 - Phoebe T. - Complete
The Disastrous Deity reviews
Feghoot. Demeter's children had no idea that the deck was so stacked against them...
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 316 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/29/2007 - OC, Dionysus - Complete
Speed reviews
Dash's response to Violet's death, as seen by a superhero reporter at the Metroville Times.
Incredibles - Rated: K - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 802 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/14/2007 - Dash P. - Complete
Unaltered reviews
Drabble. There are, indeed, many disadvantages to serving evil...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 129 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/6/2007 - Voldemort, Severus S. - Complete
Shibboleth reviews
Drabble. Every technology has its drawbacks.
Animorphs - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 129 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/9/2007 - Complete
This Narrow World reviews
The most unfairly stereotyped cabin at Camp Half-Blood speaks up for itself, sort of.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 494 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 8 - Published: 6/29/2007 - Complete
Aquila Rapax reviews
In which a regrettably vague prophecy, a paranoid Potions master, and a platter of Mexican empanadas conspire to show yet another Defence against the Dark Arts teacher the door.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,373 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/27/2007 - Horace S., OC - Complete
Love in N Dimensions reviews
My goal was to create a pairing that had never been used before. I think I might have succeeded.
Animorphs - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 706 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/11/2007 - Complete
Metastasis reviews
It just keeps growing... and growing... and growing...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,580 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/18/2007 - Godric G., Albus D. - Complete
Hobbyist reviews
Drabble. A quick glance into Oracle's private life in the Clocktower.
Batman - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 113 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/9/2007 - Barbara G. - Complete
Miscues reviews
In which a misunderstanding arises about the meaning of the word "billiard", 4,000,000,000,000,000 Bludgers attack Hogwarts, the Room of Requirement eats a Defence against the Dark Arts teacher, and Argus Filch saves the day, not necessarily in that order.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,772 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/3/2007 - S. Vector, Argus F. - Complete
The Answer Forty-Twa reviews
A brief summary of the quest for Ultimate Truth. With apologies to the Clancy Brothers.
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 346 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/7/2007 - Complete
Henrietta reviews
Drabble. For some, the Rapture was a death sentence; for others, it was a wake-up call. For others still, it was a nuisance, plain and simple.
Left Behind - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 105 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/2/2007 - OC - Complete
The Defenestration of Cornelius Fudge reviews
Being a scrupulously researched account of the first meeting of Cornelius Fudge and Margaret Thatcher. Well, scrupulously researched in the sense that I looked up which way Downing Street runs.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,131 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/17/2007 - C. Fudge - Complete
Mode-rn Bride reviews
Well, where did you think Elastigirl got her wedding dress from?
Incredibles - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,202 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 6 - Published: 1/11/2007 - Edna Mode, Elastigirl - Complete
The Treacherous Tile reviews
Although this story is only 322 words long, it manages to contain a sneaky trap, mah-jongg, bugging, and an elaborate pun. Under these circumstances, my readers will doubtless wish to avoid it.
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 363 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 7 - Published: 12/27/2006 - Lemony S., Count O. - Complete
A Sorting Song by Dumbledore reviews
A companion to Textualsphinx's "A Sorting Song by Severus". Nobody outdoes Albus when it comes to patter songs.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 677 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 11 - Published: 12/3/2006 - Sorting Hat, Albus D. - Complete
Question and Answer reviews
Feghoot. Gyro has some difficulty getting his Helper to answer a few questions.
DuckTales - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 418 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Published: 10/25/2006 - Complete
Hello, Young Supers reviews
Based on Rodgers and Hammerstein's "Hello, Young Lovers". Elastigirl reflects on the supers born after the Act.
Incredibles - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 381 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/10/2006 - Elastigirl - Complete
Prevent reviews
Drabble. The best laid plans of mice and supers...
Incredibles - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 129 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/7/2005 - Violet P. - Complete
It Will Be Done, My Lord reviews
A clone's-eye view of Order 66.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 207 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/2/2005 - Complete
Standards reviews
Drabble. The dilemma of a college-bound superheroine.
Incredibles - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 130 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/8/2005 - Mr. Incredible, Rick Dicker - Complete
Unmerit reviews
Drabble. A meeting between Jack Sparrow and one of his many fans.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 179 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Published: 12/26/2004 - Capt. Jack Sparrow, OC - Complete
Yes, Violet reviews
Just a little bit of Christmas-Eve fluff. Violet spies on Santa Claus.
Incredibles - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,220 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/24/2004 - Violet P. - Complete
Delivery reviews
A 100-word drabble involving Vernon Dursley and an owl.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 130 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/27/2004 - Vernon D. - Complete
Sonnet upon the Youngest Endless reviews
Being a record of the poet's emotions upon discovering that Delight and Delirium were the same person.
Sandman - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 193 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Published: 6/7/2004 - Delirum/Delight - Complete
Sonnet unto His Dæmon reviews
Being, well... a sonnet unto the author's dæmon.
His Dark Materials - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 131 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/10/2004 - Complete
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