nony0mous
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Joined 09-28-10, id: 2557251, Profile Updated: 08-07-11
Author has written 24 stories for Harry Potter, Artemis Fowl, and 39 Clues.

"If all the world's a stage, then I want a refund." - nony0mous

"If at first you don't succeed, you'll never have another chance." - Pseudonymous Bosch, This Isn't What It Looks Like

"Lord, what fools these mortals be!" - Puck, A Midsummer Night's Dream


Welcome... TO MY PROFILE! [Insert echo here]

I don't actaully do much here except list some quotes. I used to have a lot more here...

I am [subject age here] years old and live in [subject hometown here]. I like [insert activity here]. I would recommend you to check out the stories of [REDACTED] , a great author who will kill me because she has repeatedly told me not to put her pen name here.If you find that my stories are not as horrible as they are (I was probably high when I wrote most of them) and you actually like them, then feel free to subscribe to me.

PM me anytime!


"So this is how liberty dies... with thunderous applause." - Padme Amidala, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

"How can you fail to take over the world with a booty box full of truffles?" - Artemis Fowl, Artemis Fowl: The Opal Deception

"I want to be president of the galaxy. Is that too much to ask?" Random Dent, And Another Thing...

"Dobby is used to death threats, sir. Dobby gets them five times a day at home." Dobby, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

"Give. Me. The. Bear." Angel, Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment

"There's nothing more dangerous than someone trying to act for the greater good." Maximum Ride, Angel: A Maximum Ride Novel

"Tell me, what exactly is the function of a rubber duck?" Arthur Weasley, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Movie)

"Dobby cannot let Harry Potter lose his Wheezy!" Dobby, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

"I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahs!" Gazzy, Maximum Ride: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

"Let us not deprive Molly any longer of the chance to deplore how thin you are." Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

"... although of course, if I were a Death Eater, I would have been sure to research my own jam preferences before impersonating myself." Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

"Shun the non-believer!" Pink Unicorn, Charlie the Unicorn

"Do you know the biggest lesson I learned from what you did? We're a lot alike, you and I. You tested me, I tested you. You killed me, I – oh no, wait. I guess I haven't killed you yet. Well … food for thought." GLaDOS (Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System), Portal 2 (Trailer)

"Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?! Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!" - Cave Johnson, Portal 2

"Burning people! He says what we're all thinking!" GLaDOS, Portal 2 (on hearing the above quote)

"It just goes to show, people with brain damage are the real heroes in the end, aren't they?" Wheatley, Portal 2

"You don't know pride. You don't know fear. You don't know anything... you'll be perfect." GLaDOS, Portal 2 (Trailer)

"If you have trouble with simple counting, use the following mneumonic device: One, comes before two, comes before sixty, comes after twelve, comes before six-trillion, comes after five-hundred-and-four. This will make your earlier counting difficulties seem like no big deal." Fact Sphere, Portal 2

"In the beginning, the Universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry and has largely been considered a bad move." The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

"It's like magic but much more expensive." Oliver Watson, I Am a Genius Of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to Be Your Class President

"And just then, it connected perfectly to the chickens." Shigeru Miyamato, Iwata Asks

"They are the evil blood suckers who only care about themselves and their own narrow vision of the world. They're kind of like Fox News." Alice Sullen, Vampires Suck

"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits." Albert Einstein

RANDOM FACT TIME!:

http://youngmelonworld.blogspot.com/2011/05/fun-facts-from-fact-sphere.html

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

This is not a fanfic by Sooperlooper reviews
This is not a summary
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,066 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 3/24/2012 - Published: 1/27/2007
Potions Class: Fun Lessons We Can ALL Enjoy! by rosepetal704 reviews
In which Harry annoys Snape, Snape tries to make him stop, and Harry annoys him some more. And also...how could Harry really have survived falling out of an airplane? 7th in the Potions Class series, but you don't have to read the others to enjoy this.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,122 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 6 - Published: 11/4/2011 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
I could really use a hug right now, Professor by rosepetal704 reviews
Harry Potter wants a hug. Will Snape give him one? And do sparkly high heels, purple motorcycles, and Hopping Hershey's bars have anything to do with it at all? 6th in the Potions Class series.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,446 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 7 - Published: 8/22/2011 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
The Time Travel Adventures Of James, Albus & Teddy by Hello My Name Is Awesome reviews
James, Albus, and Teddy go on adventures with a time turner. R&R
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,055 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 8/10/2011 - Published: 11/3/2010 - James S. P., Teddy L.
How To End Harry Potter In 200 Words or Less by BeeUtifulgirl reviews
Or, Funny Ways to Kill Voldemort in a series of unrelated One-Shots. Most are just fun. I don't mean to offend anyone in any way. I'm just letting my morbid sense of humor run wild. Hope you enjoy.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 14 - Words: 3,210 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 5/10/2011 - Published: 1/27/2011 - Voldemort
Mops, Brooms, and Other Random Stuff by rosepetal704 reviews
Harry annoys Snape near to the point of insanity. Again. Big surprise. 5th in the Potions Class series, but takes place before Harry Potter and the Revenge of the Potions Master.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,510 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 6 - Published: 4/23/2011 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Hermione the Pig by Haylis reviews
Sequel to Ron the Cow, but can be read as a stand alone. Hermione faces trouble like never seen before! Really, you haven't seen this before. WARNING: DO NOT READ! UNLESS YOU WANT TO!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Western - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,289 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Published: 4/6/2011 - Hermione G.
The Adventures of Overrated Bunny by silverlasso reviews
In an alternate universe, Harry and Voldemort were born as magical bunnies instead of human wizards. This is the first installment in the epic saga of their most glorious conflict.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,263 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/11/2011
Harry Potter and the Revenge of the Potions Master by rosepetal704 reviews
Snape finally gets his evil revenge...Fourth in the Potions Class series. You probably won't get this if you haven't read the previous one, Lime Green Wasps, Ballet, and Big Red Bouncy Balls.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,828 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/30/2011 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
A Discussion About Hair by rosepetal704 reviews
Harry and Snape have a discussion about hair...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 617 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/23/2011 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
Legend of the Evil Snowman Dude by rosepetal704 reviews
Harry, Ron, and Hermione have a very...interesting...conversation one night, involving Snape's awesome new look, dancing unicorns, and an evil snowman...What the heck? AU, set in fifth year.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,085 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/25/2010 - Complete
Lime Green Wasps, Ballet, and Big Red Bouncy Balls by rosepetal704 reviews
Harry explains why, once again, he hasn't done his homework. And this time, he has a really good excuse. A perfectly believable one. But- does Voldemort really know ballet? Third in the Potions Class series, but can stand alone.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,722 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/8/2010 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
A Very Original Story by Spring Sunrise reviews
Alternate titles: Isabel Returns, Defeating the Vespers, or Amy and Ian Spontaneously Make Up! It's every bad cliche you've ever seen rolled up into one big parody! Well, maybe not so big. Two-shot.
39 Clues - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,342 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 11/27/2010 - Published: 11/26/2010 - Amy C., Dan C. - Complete
How It Could Have Ended: What A Bad Idea by Joshua Primrose reviews
The Horcruxes are destroyed and there is just one thing that Harry has left to do, and Voldemort made a mistake.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 212 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/24/2010 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Why you shouldn't give the Dark Lord muffins by Insane. Certifiably reviews
Hermione has an idea. Voldemort goes on a sugar rush. Lame summary, I know.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,289 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/20/2010 - Voldemort, Harry P. - Complete
Voldemort Raking Some Leaves on a Windy Day by Perry Fowl reviews
Join Voldemort on his quest to get the ultimate Princess Dora video game! Featuring Shaquille O' Neal!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 785 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 11/7/2010 - Published: 10/27/2010 - Tom R. Jr.
Attack of the Lemon Drops by rosepetal704 reviews
Harry helps Dumbledore find his lemon drops...Short companion piece to Harry Potter and the Reason he was Late for Class.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,027 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/9/2010 - Complete
Harry Potter and the Forgotten Homework by rosepetal704 reviews
The first in the Potions Class series: A parody in which Snape asks Harry why he doesn't have his homework, and Harry explains...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,164 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 5 - Published: 10/5/2010 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Hermione's Turn by potato4 reviews
"I'll call it... SPBFW!" "Bless you."/ "I thought you were taking us to dinner, not a bloody Hogwarts reunion!"/ "YOU KILLED NEMO!"/ It's Hermione turn to pick where the Trio goes to dinner, and she picks a fancy restaurant. Funny parody fic. R/R!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,679 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 7 - Published: 10/1/2010 - Hermione G., Harry P. - Complete
The Three Words that Changed Dora's Life by 1000th Ghost reviews
Come on, let's get to it. I know that we can do it! Anyone else want to wipe that sunshine-rainbows grin off Dora the Explorer's face?
Dora the Explorer - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,385 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/11/2008 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Harry Eats a Cookie reviews
STOP THE PRESSES! The famous Harry Potter is eating a cookie! Read this story to find out about all the gooey details!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,013 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 10 - Published: 7/19/2011 - Harry P. - Complete
Voldemort's Hot Dogs reviews
Voldemort has a hot dog stand, and now Harry wants some of those hot dogs. He'll do anything to get those hot dogs...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 998 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/30/2011 - Harry P., Voldemort
The Death Eatery reviews
Welcome to the Death Eatery! May I take your order? May I suggest your order a Basilisk Burger? Ronald Weasley is...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 856 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/30/2011 - Ron W. - Complete
The Bark Lord and the Invincibility Coke reviews
The Bark Lord has a mission for Draco Malfoy. He is to steal the Invincibility Coke from the horrible Ebony, and deliver it safely into the paws if Voldemort. But missions like these never go well.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,301 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/23/2011 - Draco M. - Complete
Hermione's Secret Service reviews
Hermione is acting strange. What is she doing? What is her goal?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 127 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 4/18/2011 - Hermione G. - Complete
Dessert Stress reviews
Voldemort wants cheesecake, so why can't he have it? Can he stop himself from taking away all of the delicious food on the planet? Probably not. But that is the choice that a Dark Lord must make.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 699 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/17/2011 - Voldemort - Complete
Epic Fail reviews
Something unbelievable has happened at Hogwarts. Something that will knock the wands off of your hands...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 463 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 13 - Published: 4/16/2011 - Fred W., George W. - Complete
Big Red Buttons: DO NOT PRESS reviews
Big red buttons are showing up at Hogwarts, and now everyone has gone insane. But there must be a way out - or is there?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,067 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/10/2011 - Harry P. - Complete
How to Kill the Chosen One For Dummies reviews
Are you one of the many who want to kill Harry Potter? Are you sick of his stuck up attitude? Then this book is for you! We'll show you creative, original ways to eliminate the Chosen One from your life - forever!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 594 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 10 - Published: 4/10/2011 - Harry P.
A Sort Of Sorting reviews
Everybody knows how Harry was sorted, but what happened while Ron was under the hat? Hermione? Professor McGonagall? What about Voldemort, or Snape?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 12 - Words: 4,537 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 4/8/2011 - Published: 10/9/2010 - Sorting Hat - Complete
Voldemort the Llama: The Untold Story reviews
After being killed by Harry Potter, the Dark Lord was whisked away and turned into a llama...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,170 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/2/2011 - Voldemort - Complete
Dark Chocolate Cake reviews
Dumbledore arrvies to bring Voldemort some delicious cake!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 250 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 5 - Published: 3/24/2011 - Complete
Why Must the Good Die Young? and Other Cliches reviews
Enjoy a series of drabbles in which Harry and Co. show why there are cliches.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 938 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/12/2011
The Dark Lord's New Clothes reviews
After the war, Harry and Ron are visited by the Dark Lord. And they see a side of him they wish they've never seen... the sight of Voldemort in a chicken suit.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,721 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/4/2011 - Harry P., Ron W. - Complete
What Am I Supposed to Do Now? reviews
Voldemort is so close to achieving the impossible... killing Harry Potter. But what is he supposed to do after the kill?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,405 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/27/2011 - Voldemort - Complete
Just Another Day at Hogsmeade reviews
Aberforth needs Moody's help with an urgent problem. But the more important problem is that the problem isn't really a problem. It's something much, much worse.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,850 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/13/2011 - Alastor M., Aberforth D. - Complete
A Quest For Unseasoned Fries reviews
Where in the world can Harry find a replacement for his unseasoned fries? His destiny is to travel with Voldemort until they find those fries... and yes, the fate of the world depends on it.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 10 - Words: 7,028 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 1/21/2011 - Published: 12/18/2010 - Harry P., Voldemort
A Conversation About Boggarts reviews
The incredibly insane Lupin, blinded by the nobility of Harry, suggests that Harry fears fear. Last time I checked, dementors mean madness, not fear. Pages 155 to 158 of Prisoner of Azkaban will never be the same.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 844 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/20/2011 - Harry P., Remus L. - Complete
In Which Ron Attempts To Use A Computer reviews
Hermione bought Ron a Mac. Unfortunately for him, the computer hates him. Watch as Ron struggles to make the computer actually work!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,506 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 1/2/2011 - Published: 1/1/2011 - Ron W. - Complete
Hi Lo PickleO reviews
Harry wants a pickle. He won't stop until he gets his pickle.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 446 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/25/2010 - Harry P., Sirius B. - Complete
Voldemort Goes to the Bank reviews
The King of Evil needs more money! But if he's banned from Gringotts, he'll have to go to a Muggle bank... R&R!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,326 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 11/6/2010 - Published: 10/19/2010 - Voldemort
The Boy Who Snored reviews
In the beginning, everyone was doomed. Here is the story of what started a whole revolution that totally failed, the story of the one who could not defeat Goldysnort - Hairy Butter. Parody of The Sorcerer's Stone Chapter 1.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,811 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/22/2010 - Complete
EVIL: Every Villain Is Lemons reviews
Isabel and Opal team up to become the most insane and hilarious team of evil overlords. And when all else fails... evil does too. So now its up to the Madrigal Mermaids and a bunch of nonsense to save the day! Or doom it. Whichever comes first.
Crossover - Artemis Fowl & 39 Clues - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 15 - Words: 7,942 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 10/3/2010 - Published: 10/2/2010 - Opal K., Isabel K. - Complete
So You Want To Be a Death Eater reviews
How would you like the amazing job of a Death Eater working for the Dark Lord himself? Join Natalie Kabra as she finds out what you can get when you pass 0 OWLs!
Crossover - Harry Potter & 39 Clues - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 694 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 9 - Published: 10/2/2010 - Natalie K. - Complete
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