Crazeemee
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Joined 09-28-10, id: 2557877, Profile Updated: 05-12-11
Author has written 3 stories for Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Twilight, and Kane Chronicles.

hey... Crazeemee here. I don't plan on wasting my time and yours telling you all about e, so here are some stuff I liked on all the other profile I saw. Cheers.


Some Amazing Qoutes:

1. "When I was a little girl I used to read fairy tales. In fairy tales you meet Prince Charming and he's everything you ever wanted. In fairy tales the bad guy is very easy to spot. The bad guy is always wearing a black cape so you always know who he is. Then you grow up and you realize that Prince Charming is not as easy to find as you thought. You realize the bad guy is not wearing a black cape and he's not easy to spot; he's really funny, and he makes you laugh, and he has perfect hair."
- Taylor Swift

2. "if your going through hell, keep going"
- Unknown

3. "To me, Fearless is not the absense of fear. It's not being completely unafraid. To me, Fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death."
- Taylor Swift

4. " don't tell me the sky is the limit when there is footprints on the moon"
- Unknown

5. “The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time”
- Friedrich Nietzsche

6. "I sometimes go to my own little world, but that's okay, they know me there."
- Joel Hodgson

7. Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak, Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen."
- Sir Winston Churchill

8. "Your lucky enough to be different, never change"
- Taylor Swift


YOU KNOW YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH PJO WHEN...

-You repeatedly read page 203 in The Battle of the Labyrinth

-You are completely convinced one of your female teachers is a fury

-You say, "OH MY GODS!" and "What the Hades?" on a regular basis

-You blame Poseidon for bad weather

-You go to the Empire State Building and you ask for the 600th Floor

-There’s a thunderstorm going on and you scream, “CALM DOWN, ZEUS!”

-Every time you use the Internet, you thank Hermes

-When you see Harry Potter, you think of Percy with glasses

-You burn food to see if it smells good

-You see an owl, you go, “Hi Athena!”

-You’re in a swimming race and you pray and sacrifice to Poseidon

-You think that your favorite singer is a child of Apollo

-Someone close to you dies and you give them money (LOTS of it) just in case…

-Everyone else is creating a Twilight family and you create a PJO family

-You go on a cruise and you hope the boat isn’t The Princess Andromeda…

-You’re on a boat and you pray that Poseidon is in a good mood

-You’re in the air (hang-gliding, cliff-diving, bungee jumping, flying in a plane, etc.) and hope Zeus won’t blast you out of the air

-You go to Aunty Em’s and say you’re camera shy.

-You find your true love and thank Aphrodite for sending him/her to you

-You bring a blue plastic hairbrush with you everywhere

-When something bad happens, randomly blame Kronos

-You sometimes try to control water

-You don't read anything but PJO for 3 months (they're the best 3 months of your life)

-You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address

-You carry a ballpoint pen in your pocket.

-When you go to Office Max for pens, you ask for one that turns into a sword

-Every time you play dodge ball, you bring a suit of armor

-Whenever your internet slows down, you yell at the sky and say, "HERMES! WHY DO YOU LOVE ANNOYING ME?!"

-You swear, "OH STYX!" then look apologetically at the sky (better safe than sorry)

-Whenever you go to a PJO site in the US (such as the Hoover Dam or the Air and Space Museum) you yell "PERCY'S BEEN HERE!" to the tourists

-Demand your family to have a group hug every week (Hera's watching...)

-Blame Athena for bad grades

-Ask the flight attendant if Zeus is in a good mood before entering the plane

-Glare at donut store chains and blame it on the Hydra

-Carry “Hermes” vitamins whenever you go get a pedicure as a safety precaution

-You start a conversation with guinea pigs (they used to be men, after all)

-Whenever you see a spider, you curse Arachne

-You buy everything you see with an owl or trident on it

-You yell “Burrito Fight!” whenever you’re in a Mexican restaurant

-You checked to make sure your vice-principal doesn’t have a tail

-You go to the Hallmark store and say you need to get a father’s/mother’s day card for your godly parent

-You start hearing Percabeth in every song you hear

-You started calling your dog Mrs. O’Leary

-You know who your godly parent is

-You never looked at a ballpoint pen the same way again

-When people ask you to play capture the flag, you ask if magical items are allowed

-You refuse to lie down on a waterbed

-You ask suffers in Bermudas if they know Poseidon

-You go to CVS and ask for Hermes vitamins in gummies

-You know more about PJO than most sane people

-You’re nodding and smiling when you read this

-You have done at least 10 (Or more) of the above things

-You are so obessed with the couple Percy-Annabeth, that you are proud to call yourselves supporters of Percabethism! (Amen!)

-You could think of at least 20 more things to add to this list

-You're convinced that all anti-PJO fans have taken a dip in the river Lethe, which explains their brainwashed views on PJO

-You dream of Percy and other PJO characters every night

-You think this list could go on into infinity (which I do)


The Percy Jackson pledge:

I promise to remember Percy
whenever I'm at sea
I promise to remember Annabeth
whenever a spider comes at me
I promise to protect nature
for Grover's sake of course
I promise to remember Luke
when my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Chiron
whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride''
I promise to remember Tyson
whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side
I promise to remember Thalia
whenever a friend is scared of heights
I promise to remember Clarisse
whenever I see someone that gives me a fright
I promise to remember Bianca
whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother
I promise to remember Nico
whenever I see someone who doesnt get along with others
I promise to remember Zoe
whenever I watch the stars
I promise to remember Rachel
whenever a limo passes my car.
yes I promise to remember PJO
wherever I may go.


You Know You’re a Book Addict If:

You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on. (Yup...)

Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading. (He he he... sounds like something I'd do)

You write fan fictions about the book. (No... I'm just on fanfiction for the heck of it. :P)

You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read your favorite books. (and am successful most of the time, too)

You accidentally call everyone by the character's names. (Do I know you?)

Everything reminds you of the book. (yes)

You quote random lines all the time. (yes)

You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. (yes)

You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class. (not really... okay, okay fine... maybe once... or twice...)

You have pictures of your favorite characters on your iPod. (no)

You've got a book memorized. (Pretty much)

You've read a book more than five times. (Five? please. I've read it more than 12.)

You've read a book with 400+ pages in less than two days. (absolutely)

You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like. (no)

You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend. (yeesh! NO!!)

You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional.

You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional.

Your idol is a character from a book.

I am a book addict and proud of it! If you are, then copy and paste this on your profile page.


The Kane Chronicle Pledge:

I promise to remember Carter

When I travel far away

I promise to remember Sadie

When I have something sarcastic to say

I promise to remember Desjardins

When someone doesn't fight fair

I promise to remember Amos

When someone has beads in their hair

I promise to remember Iskandar

When I see someone very old

I promise to remember Bast

When I see cat's eyes that are gold

I promise to remember Horus

When I see a beautiful bird

I promise to remember Isis

Whenever strange voices are heard

I promise to remember Set

When someone is clever and sly

I promise to remember Anubis

When a cute boy catches my eye

I promise to remember Zia

When I see someone working magic

I promise to remember Julius Kane

When someone's life is tragic

I promise to remember Ruby Kane

When someone I love is gone

And whenever I read The Red Pyramid

I'll always remember this song.

- written by Chick With Brains.


15 Things to do at Wal -Mart

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!... Take me with you!!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"


(\_/)
(+'.'+) This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your
(")_(") profile to help him gain world domination.


If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think that girls are equals to boys, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile

If you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it. (P.S. If dyslexia is like this, I think I could handle it)

Peanut Butter goes with jelly. It also goes with chocolate. Jelly goes with bread, and bread crumbs are good on chicken. Chicken is good with ketchup. Ketchup is good on a hamburger. Hamburgers are sold at McDonald's. McDonald's is not healthy for you. If you like all or most of the stuff that I said here, copy and paste this onto you page. If you don't, copy and paste anyway but stop eating at McDonald's because it will make you fat.

If you constantly forget what you're saying or are about to say, and i mean CONSTANTLY, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love Fanfiction.net, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think that The 39 Clues is the best series ever paste this to your profile

If you have ever pushed a door that clearly said PULL, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep), Alleyanna Cullen,hugz.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6 (hoo yeah), GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, The Friendly Chupacabra, Shorty and KG Inc.(:D), percabethsupporter4ever, Tia and Tori INC, luciangirl06, crazeemee

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself post this in your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

It you own a pet copy and paste this into your profile.

If FanFiction to you is what MySpace or Facebook is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

If you believe in God, copy this into your profile.

I believe in Jesus Christ, If you do too post this on your profile

Edward isn't a Vampire , He lives in the forest , he doesn't eat people ,and he sparkles. He's obviously a Fairy. :)

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.


Please don't read this,

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. Im sorry but i have now cursed you. If you dont copy and paste this onto your profile, she will suffocate you. If you are so kind and DO copy and paste this, she will completly forget you and you will live in peace.


If you're a Demigod copy this into your profile and sign your name

Shorty/Kris

KG/Lizzy

Wisegirl101/Lindsay

WiseOne27

SeaweedBrain013/Sebz

CloudyAlore/Faye

XxxBeLLxXxGiRlxxX76/Bells

xXthe shadow huntressxX

annapercy1

Hula

The New Ace of Spies

7Cerberus7

Storyteller-221/Kali Lennor

AthenaPersephone14

Laserfire

JBaddict1234

SeaweedGirl1

Goddess of Discord and Cookies/Kristen

luciangirl06

crazeemee


This is about abortion...

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine, but i will have a lot of it
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this


40 Secrets about yourself.
Be honest no matter what.

1. Have you ever been asked out?
Yes

2. Where did you get your default picture?

A google search

3. What's your middle name?

Jankiprasad ( no, really.)

4. Your current relationship status?

Single

5. Does your crush like you back?

I don't have one

6. What is your current mood?

Sleepy

7. What color of underwear are you wearing?

WHAT?!

8. What color shirt are you wearing?

Black (I'm not goth. Black is just a nice colour)

9. Missing something?

Don't think so

10. If you could go back in time and change something, what would you change?

My first group of friends... they're the biggest B* ever.

11. If you must be an animal for one day, what?

A dog then I'd try to communicate with my dog.

12. Ever had a near death experience?

Nope, and I hope to keep it that way.

13. Something you do a lot?
Text

14 The song stuck in your head?

Band Aid

15. Who did you copy and paste this from?

Someone from www.fanfiction.net called luciangirl06

16. Name someone with the same birthday as YOU?

No one whom I know shares my birthday

17. When was the last time you cried?

I don't remember

18. Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?

Yes

19. If you could have one super power what would it be?

Ability to control and move objects with my mind. ( people, too)

20. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

I don't know.

21. What do you usually order from starbucks?

It's never the same

22. What's your biggest secret?

If I tell you, then it wouldn't be a secret anymore.

23. Favorite color?

Silver

24. Do you still watch kiddie shows or tv shows?

No... they're dumb

26. What are you?

A human, duh.

27. Do you speak any other language?

Yes. I speak Kannada, Tamil, Hindi, Sanskrit, English, and just a tiny bit of French. (Most of them are languages of India)

28. What's your favorite smell?

The smell of rain on mud

29. Describe your life in one word what would it be?

Perfect

30. Have you ever kissed in the rain?

Ew, NO!

32. What are you thinking about right now?

Umm... What o you think, dumbass? This question...

33. What should you be doing?

Eating my breakfast... but that can wait

34. Who was the last person that made you upset/angry?

Umm...I don't know

35. How often do u talk to God?

Not very often.

36. Do you like working in the yard?

I want to but I've never actually done it.

37. If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?

Cahill... that would be fun.

38. Do you act differently around the person you like ?

I don't like anyone, how many times do I have to answer this?

39. What is your natural hair color?

dark brown mixed with black

40. Who was the last person to make you cry?

I don't know.


Ten Reasons That Humans Are The Evilest Of All Animals:

1.) We are the only known species that abuses our own children

2.) Our dog would die for us, but we'd never die for them

3.) We hunt for fun

4.) We have caused more animals to become extinct then any other species

5.) We waste everything we have

6.) We take too many things for granted

7.) We ruin the planet without caring

8.) No other animals will kill another species unless it is for food, territory, to protect their food or children, self-defence, or if they feel threatened. We just do it for coats, boots, rugs, fun, sport, and other sick reasons

9.) Animals are better listeners

10.) As far as sciencetist know, they claim that we are the smartest species. Well think about this: if we are the smartest species, how come we need to use so many complicated machines to survive? Other animals have very little-if any technology, so why do we need to destroy the planet in order to 'survive'? If we really were so smart, why would we need all this stuff?


YOUR GIRL SIDE:

~You wear lip gloss/chapstick. (yes)
~You love to shop. (Yes.)
~You wear eyeliner. (no)

~You wear the color pink (yes, but only if I don't find anything else.)
~Go to your mom for advice. (yes)
~You consider cheerleading a sport (yes)
~You hate wearing the color black. (no)

~You like hanging out at the mall. (no, not really)

~You like getting manicures and/or pedicures. (no)
~You like wearing jewelry. (no)
~Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe (yes)

~Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies. (no)
~You don't like the movie Star Wars. (yes)
~You were in gymnastics/dance? (yes)
~It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up. (no)
~You smile a lot more than you should. (no... only around my friends, 'cause they're just awesome!)
~You have more than 10 pairs of shoes. ( no)
~You care about what you look like. (a little)
~You like wearing dresses when you can. (no)
~You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne. (deodrant, because I sweat a lot when I play basketball)
~You love the movies. (yes... some of them)
~Used to play with dolls as little kid. (yes)
~Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it. (no)
~Like being the star of everything (no)

Total= 12


NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast

PJO FANS:will tell Zeus to make it rain

NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!
PJO FANS: say OH MY GODS!

NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings
PJO FANS:won't go to one because they will take away their awesome demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you!
PJO FANS: say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you!

NORMAL PEOPLE: think that PJO fans are stupid
PJO FANS: know that normal people are stupid

NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!
PJO FANS: when being chased use their awesome demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms
PJO FANS: yell at Zeus to calm down

NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation
PJO FANS: would try and find Camp Half Blood

NORMAL PEOPLE:dont have this on their profile
PJO FANS: MUST have this on their profile!


Her name was Auroura
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly crys
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"God, why? Why is
My life always sinking?"

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless pest!"

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

If child abuse makes you sick and you think it's horrible and should be stopped, put this poem on your profile.

Try not to Cry


FRIENDS: helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"

FRIENDS: gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN DUDE! RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting next to you sayin "THAT WAS FREAKIN' AWESOME!!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Have you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's butt that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life

FRIENDS:Will comfort you when the guy rejects you
BEST FRIENDS:Will go up to him and say 'it's becuase your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this thing!!


ANNOYING THINGS TO DO:

~ In an elevator...

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer inside and ask "Got enough air in
there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE at another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

~ To Carlisle Cullen...

10. Tell him only to address you in a cute English accent.

9. Call him Carlisle, but be sure to pronounce the “s”. When he corrects you, give him a weird look and tell him the “q” is silent.

8. Ask if blondes really do have more fun.

7. Inquire as to what he actually does on his night shift on the hospital, with all the pretty nurses in the ER.

6. Instead of telling him to “get lost” in an argument, tell him to swim to France.

5. When he annoys you, respond with “times have changed, old man”.

4. Ask what type of superhuman power compassion is – what does he do in a fight? Love thy enemy to death?

3. Leap out from behind the desk in his study when he isn’t expecting it and spray him with Holy Water.

2. Call him McSteamy or McDreamy.

And the Number One way to annoy Carlisle Cullen?

1. Run around the Emergency Room screaming “I’ve been bitten! I’ve been bitten!”

~ To Jasper Cullen...

10. Beg him not to eat you.

9. Inform him that he seems to be the “depressed” Cullen.

8. Go up to him, look him in the eye and ask if he is hungry.

7. Spell his name with two “a”’s (Jaspar) and call him Jaspar Cullen. When he objects, saying his name is Jasper Hale, wave your hand at him and tell him all that blood must have gone to his brain.

6. Tell him only girls feel emotions. Then giggle and run away.

5. Dress up in a cape and fangs and leap out in front of him when he is least expecting it, proclaiming you have come to suck his blood.

4. Send out waves of lust and see how he reacts.

3. When he gets too close made your fingers into the sign of the cross and cry, “The power of Christ compels you!”.

2. Splatter red paint all over his and Alice’s room and videotape his reaction.

And the Number One way to annoy Jasper Hale?

1. Whenever he says anything, snap to attention, shout “Sir, yes sir!” and salute, army style.

~ To Edward Cullen...

10. Sing “Discovery Channel” by the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.

9. Hot wire his Volvo and take it on a joyride.

8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically pedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.

7. Ask how Tanya is.

6. End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”

5. Call him Romeo both behind his back and to his face.

4. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with “What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”

3. Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.

2. Whenever he leaves a room or says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg him not to go, not again.

And the Number One way to annoy Edward Cullen?

1. Take his silver cell phone and change the ring tone to “Like a Virgin” by Madonna.

~ To Alice Cullen...

10. Take her credit cards and shopping vouchers, hold them above your head and tell her to “jump for it”.

9. Tell her if she was just a few centimeters shorter she could legally be a midget.

8. Wear the trashiest possible clothing whenever you can.

7. Tie her up in a straitjacket. When she protests, tell her she needs to go back to the loony bin.

6. When you go into the sun with her, fall into a twitching heap on the ground and moan “I’m melting.”

5. Pelt her with cloves of garlic.

4. When she gets a vision, ask if her “spidey senses” are tingling.

3. Trip her up and ask if she saw it coming.

2. Ask her what you will be doing in five minutes every ten minutes.

And the Number One way to annoy Alice Cullen?

1. Email her dozens of application forms for the position of speaker on psychic hot lines.

~ To Emmett Cullen...

10. Tell him he looks like a creepy stalker rapist.

9. Inform him, as politely as possible, that he has grizzly in his teeth.

8. Ask who wears the pants in his relationship.

7. Try to stab him through the heart with a stake.

6. Tell him brawn is out, scrawn is in.

5. Inquires as to how he feels to be the least-liked Cullen male.

4. When he is around, wonder aloud what Rosalie calls him in bed.

3. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with that Jeep.

2. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with those muscles.

And the Number One way to annoy Emmett Cullen?

1. When he denies the above two claims, respond with “That’s not what Rosalie saaaaaid!”

~ To Rosalie Cullen...

10. Tell her that, because everyone thinks she and Jasper are twins, they should get together. When she asks why, say that Incest is in at the moment.

9. Call her “Ice Queen” behind her back and to her face.

8. Whenever she argues anything, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”

7. Claim that being a human ain’t so great.

6. When she argues the above claim, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”

5. Try to exorcise her and her evil ways.

4. Tell everyone that Edward didn’t go to Italy because Rosalie said Bella was dead – he went to Italy because he envisioned Rosalie’s ugly face.

3. Call her “Hoe-salie” at least once, to her face.

2. Remind her that Edward chose a pathetic human girl over her.

And the Number One way to annoy Rosalie Hale?

1. Steal her silver cell phone and change the ring tone to “Roxanne” by The Police. When she asks why the hell you did it, say that she reminds you of Roxanne


You know you live in 2010 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years.

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen name or myspace.

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.


Ways to Annoy Your Parents

-I am not responsible for any shouting, yelling and punishments they give you. Please note: USE AT YOUR OWN RISK! Please do not sue me when your parents hand out your punishment for using this.

1 - Follow them all the time

2 - Say "Muu" when they call you

3 - Pretend you got amnesia

4 - Keep walking backwards

5 - Run all over the house with a bulb in your hand and saying "The Sun! It's dying!"

6 - Run on the walls

7 - Sing out loud while you run all over the house wearing only underwear

8 - Say that wearing clothes is against your religion

9 - Stay in front of them at four in the morning and with a big smile in the face say "Good morning, sunshine!"

10 - Run in circles

11 - Recite a whole movie. Three times.

12 - Pretend you're fighting yourself. Lose.

13 - Pull somebody's hair and scream "DNA!"

14 - Wear a T-Shirt that reads "I'm Retarded!"

15 - Wear jeans on your heads, a t-shirt on your waist and say it's a new fashion concept

16 - Try to find another way to drink something in a glass

17 - Glue your finger on your nose with Super Glue

18 - Talk to a pen

19 - Have imaginary friends. Talk to them all the time.

20 - Pretend you're a viking

21 - Try to climb on the walls

22 - Scream really loud "WHERE-IS-MY-MOTHER!?"

23 - Put an ice-cream cone on your forehead and say you're a beautiful unicorn

24 - Do what they tell you to

25 - Stay turning the lights on and off and after 5min say "ooh! I get it now..."

26 - Eat non-eatable things.

27 - Sit in front of the fan with your arms wide open and sing "I believe I can fly!!"

28 - Hold their hands and say "I see dead people..."

29 - When taking a shower, scream "I'm drowning!"

30 - Chase an imaginary tail

31 - Demand your own telephone number

32 - Scream "Lie!" for everything they say

33 - Pretend you're 268 years old

34 - Stay upside down in your closet

35 - Pretend you're a telephone

36 - Try to swim on the ground

37 - Knock on their door all the night

38 - Pretend you have multiple personalities

39 - Deny everything they say before they finish saying and say "Why what? Are you trying to find a reason to punish me?". Take a long breath, blink three times and say "Can I help you?"

40 - Ask "What?" for everything they say and pretend you don't understand

41 - Look at you father for some time and then say "I'M USING NEW SOCKS!"

42 - Always repeat "What would give you that idea?"

43 - When your mother start talking to you, say "Lo siento, No hablo Inglés"

44 - Tell them you have a very imporant secret that you can't tell to anyone, they'll insist on you to tell the secret, then you whisper "I'm Spiderman/Catwoman!"

45 - Stay looking at nowhere for some time and quickly look at your parents with a scared expression and say "Did you feel that?!"

46 - Write "Will you really eat this little bird?"/"Eggs are friends, not food!" on every egg you got in the freezer

47 - When having dinner, stand up and say to one of your siblings: "Due to economic problems, you will be banished from this house."

48 - When visiting your grandparents, start singing "Uuhm, you touch my tchalala!"

49 - Always say "That's so hot" with Paris Hilton acent

50 - Tell them everything you did was just to annoy them


Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Through A Glass Darkly by Luna Rapunzel reviews
Nothing's fair in love and war anymore. xx The sixth year. JPLE, MMSB
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 34 - Words: 162,798 - Reviews: 584 - Favs: 469 - Follows: 557 - Updated: 6/7 - Published: 6/7/2009 - [Lily Evans P., James P.] [Marlene M., Sirius B.]
Jigsaw Pieces by Jess.91 reviews
Short one shots, not drabbles, of various eras, character and genres. - Because life's all jigsaw pieces, they just don't always fit -
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 197 - Words: 241,369 - Reviews: 2374 - Favs: 355 - Follows: 238 - Updated: 11/20/2014 - Published: 10/14/2007
James Potter Chronicles: Year Four by Mean St reviews
After narrowly escaping death once again, James Potter now finds himself facing a hearing with the Wizengamot to determine whether he will be allowed to return to Hogwarts, or face a life-time sentence in Azkaban Prison.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 56 - Words: 137,927 - Reviews: 514 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 6/18/2012 - Published: 2/9/2012 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
What Meets The Eye by the lola reviews
There's a story to tell from every image - even the perfect image of Astoria Greengrass on a walk in the rain. "Fractured memories of long days spent in old book shops swirl around her sore mind. Hours of whispering, debates, and hunts for those rare books haunt her, giving her a reason to smile but a reason to cry too."
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 971 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 10 - Published: 6/16/2012 - Astoria G., Draco M. - Complete
Triforce Trilogy: The Switch by FlameTamer16 and IceBreaker14 reviews
When Kronos and Voldemort decide to ban together to get rid the heroes, the demigods find themselves at Hogwarts to take on the Triwizard cup, and the wizards at Camp-Half Blood, to tackle the Labyrinth. Percabeth fluff, and Hinny. Can they make it home?
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 33 - Words: 61,756 - Reviews: 342 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 125 - Updated: 6/10/2012 - Published: 1/31/2011 - Harry P., Percy J.
Shotwand Wedding by Skettimon reviews
Apparently when Hermione Granger-Weasley got excited about weddings and grandbabies, all logic went flying out her ears. Rated M for language; CAN follow The Before, but not necessary to read before this one.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,233 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/11/2012 - Rose W., Scorpius M. - Complete
Snaps by Jewels5 reviews
James comes up with a nickname.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,680 - Reviews: 327 - Favs: 937 - Follows: 113 - Published: 5/1/2011 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Come In With The Rain by FlameTamer16 reviews
He was gone in the blink of an eye, and now she's left with nothing but memories. Her only hope is that maybe, maybe he will come in with the rain. Post TLH songfic.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,652 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/26/2011 - Annabeth C., Percy J. - Complete
Kiss and Tell by SunshineDaisiesWindmills reviews
The rules were simple. Provoke each other. Scream at each other. Snog each other. Do this as frequently as possible, but don't ever, ever kiss and tell.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 51,598 - Reviews: 827 - Favs: 1,524 - Follows: 579 - Updated: 2/28/2011 - Published: 3/17/2010 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Boyfriend by Molly Raesly reviews
Potter was going to say that he wasn't my boyfriend. I couldn't let him do that. For the love of Merlin, I could not let him do that. I had to stop him. He couldn't tell her the truth. So I did the only conceivable thing I could think of. I kissed him.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 136,472 - Reviews: 2455 - Favs: 4,555 - Follows: 1,014 - Updated: 12/29/2010 - Published: 11/30/2009 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
The End by Lili Evans dotcom reviews
A Christmas Gift; the Epilogue of All Over Again that, one day will become it's last Chapter. Enjoy and Merry Christmas!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,101 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/26/2010 - James P., Lily Evans P.
Tired by Instant of Insanity reviews
James Potter is fighting so many battles, and he is tired of it. It seems that fighting so quickly turns to losing.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,680 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 187 - Follows: 13 - Published: 9/29/2010 - James P. - Complete
Subtle Perspectives by amethysth reviews
Though they've "known" each other for years, it takes Lily Evans and James Potter several moments to truly connect. *Complete*
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,166 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 310 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 9/25/2010 - Published: 9/20/2010 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
A Month of Sundays by marziipan reviews
How exactly does Lily discover her buried feelings for James Potter? Picks up from James's and Lily's 5th year, shortly after Lily ends her friendship with Snape.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 88,345 - Reviews: 987 - Favs: 1,648 - Follows: 430 - Updated: 1/8/2010 - Published: 7/25/2009 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
Full House by MissSugarQuill reviews
Dumbledore's new idea is not appreciated at all by Lily Evans. Learning to live by one's self should surely be left till after school. Unfortunately for her, this develops into more of a problem. Like becoming the arrogant James Potter's little housewife.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 104,572 - Reviews: 578 - Favs: 230 - Follows: 290 - Updated: 2/11/2009 - Published: 7/1/2005 - James P., Lily Evans P.
Emerald Eyes by IvyClimbing reviews
Through all the crying, laughing, & slapping, James Potter,‘just a friend’, is always there for Lily. So you can imagine her shock when she realizes she's fallen for him. Too bad James is already in love with a girl thats NOT her. Oh the drama! R&R
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 36 - Words: 222,486 - Reviews: 1114 - Favs: 542 - Follows: 214 - Updated: 3/25/2008 - Published: 1/21/2004 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
Absolute Shocker! by James-RoxMySox reviews
Lily Evans is your average teenage girl,with a chocolate chip cookies obsession, issues with coordinatation and not exactly fond of James Potter. Diary of our beloved, engimatic Red head Rated for language
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 40 - Words: 177,504 - Reviews: 1814 - Favs: 640 - Follows: 434 - Updated: 1/10/2007 - Published: 8/14/2004 - Lily Evans P., James P.
The Circle by FernWithy reviews
After Sirius's prank on Snape, James tries to fix what's wrong among the Marauders. Sequel to Gone.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,146 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/15/2006 - James P., Sirius B. - Complete
How to Fall in Love by Pantz reviews
Who ever has all the answers about love?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,226 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 157 - Follows: 17 - Published: 7/21/2006 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
Gone by FernWithy reviews
Regulus Black is surprised by his brother's congenial behavior, not knowing that it's the last time they'll be together for the Christmas holidays.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,838 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/1/2005 - Sirius B. - Complete
Obsessive Lily Disorder by Procrastinator-starting2moro reviews
James worships the ground Lily, er, throws him on? Includes stalking, Polyjuice potion and James attempting many acts of suicide such as drowning his head in toilet bowls because Apple Of His Eye Evans hates his guts. Or does she? Complete .
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 144,021 - Reviews: 2043 - Favs: 1,949 - Follows: 447 - Updated: 10/29/2005 - Published: 6/7/2005 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Redundancy by charmingly-holly reviews
“Lily, getting you to go out with me is not a challenge. It’s an impossible feat that will only result in death or dismemberment. Or castration, though hopefully you’ll be kind enough to stick with the other options. But I have my doubts.”
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,477 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 243 - Follows: 29 - Published: 10/12/2005 - Lily Evans P., James P.
Smart by Jewels5 reviews
He knew I wouldn’t cry. I’m smarter than that. Selfishness urges me to, but of course I wont. I don’t want to cry. I don’t even want to persuade him. Fate rests in our words, so I’ll speak none. He knows I wont go hard on him. He’s smarter than that.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,462 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 15 - Published: 8/17/2005 - Ginny W., Harry P. - Complete
The Reluctant Chaser by Mardia reviews
When the Gryffindor team finds an amazing Chaser, they're thrilled. To their horror, she refuses to play...FINISHED. No, for real. PreOotP.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 47,700 - Reviews: 819 - Favs: 451 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 6/23/2005 - Published: 10/25/2002 - Lily Evans P., James P.
The Platform by gpoy reviews
LJ, one-shot. Sad, dark blue fluff, the silkier kind. 'You must have loved her very much, not many people remember enough to wait.'
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,869 - Reviews: 247 - Favs: 639 - Follows: 45 - Published: 7/14/2004 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
The Doll Army by FernWithy reviews
Six year old Dora Tonks gets a visit from three Marauders, and her dolls get a new mission in life.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,352 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 333 - Follows: 28 - Published: 8/15/2003 - Remus L.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

One and the Same reviews
Gaea is becoming stronger, and so is Apophis. Both the Magicians, and the Demigods know they have no chance of winning their battles alone, but together...
Crossover - Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Kane Chronicles - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 8,575 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 5/14/2011 - Published: 4/7/2011 - Percy J., Sadie K.
Haunted reviews
This is a songfic set during New Moon, based on Taylor Swift's song 'Haunted.'
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 981 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 4/29/2011 - Bella, Edward
Sparks Fly reviews
Annabeth's inner feelings about her relationship with Percy, based on Taylor Swift's song 'Sparks Fly' from the album 'Speak Now.'
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 946 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/29/2011 - Annabeth C., Percy J. - Complete