Author has written 6 stories for Skulduggery Pleasant series, and Generator Rex.
Hola! I really can't be bothered to do this right now, so your just going to have to make up your own information about me, and imagine it here. Sound good?
20 fun things to do @ WalMart
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "'Code 3' in Housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go up to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping dept. and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding dept..
8. When a desk clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?".
9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror. And pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting dept., ask the clerk if he knows where in anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. In the auto dept., practice your 'Madonna Look' using different funnels.
13. Hid in a clothing rack, and when people browse through it, say, "PICK ME! PICK ME!".
14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream... "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!".
15. Go inot a fitting room and wait a while, and then yell, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!".
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle, shouting, "Go, Pikachu, GO!".
17. If you can, write 'I see dead people...' on all the typewriters.
18. Unwrap all the chocolate bars, saying, "I've got to find that golden ticket.".
19. Put a Dora the Explorer doll in the middle of the store, and if someone tries to pick it up, jump out and say, "SWIPER NO SWIPING!". But remember, you have to do it 3 times.
20. Throw Skittles at people and shout, "Taste the Rainbow!".
37 Things to do in an Elevator
1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."