i couldn't quite resist adding this because it made me laugh so dam hard ha ha - so thanks to number1-Novice-ever for these hilarious quotes :
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Frito's! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
"And than suddenly he was there, charging down the hallway like death in a cowboy duster."- Rose Hathaway
"I'd said it before and meant it: Alive or undead, the love of my life was a badass. "- Rose Hathaway
"Hey, Mason, wipe the drool off your face. If you're going to think about me naked, do it on your own time"
"No one had ever called me unnatural before, except for the time I put ketchup on a taco."- Rose Hathaway
"Good God, Men everywhere." -Rose Hathaway
"And I thought the whole point of my education was that violence is the answer." -Rose Hathaway
"Even I make mistakes. I know it's hard to believe, kind of surprises me myself, but I guess it has to happen. It's probably some kind of karmic way to balance out the universe. Otherwise it wouldn't be fair one person so full of awesomeness." -Rose Hathaway
Oh God," I said. "I'm Zmey's daughter. Zmey Junior. Zmeyette, even."
He's (dimitri) the kind of hot that makes you stop in the middle of the street and get hit by traffic. - Rose
Rose:"And besides, you don't hang out with him 24/7."
I hate you." (Rose)
"I love pity parties. I wish I'd bought the hats." -Christian Ozera
"Don't worry, I won't bite. At least not in the way you're afraid of." -Christian Ozera
"You did not just say that. I have the feeling were on the verge of hugging and coming up with cute nicknames for each other."
"I'm not jealous I'm just-"
"My cigarettes and I are going outside. At least they show me respect." -Adrian Ivashkov
"Aw you'd never hurt me. My face is too pretty." -Adrian Ivashkov
"Dreams, dreams. I walk them; I live them. I delude myself with them. It's a wonder I can spot reality anymore."- Adrian Ivashkov
"Don't worry, little dhampir. You might be surrounded by clouds, but you'll always be like sunshine to me." -Adrian Ivashkov
"Oh my God. A kind word from Rose Hathaway, I can die a happy man." (Adrian)
"Great-Aunt. And I'm her favorite great nephew. Well I'm her only great nephew, but that's not important. I'd still be her favorite," Adrian
"I'd do a lot of things to protect you Roza."- Dimitri Belikov
"You're strong--so so strong, It's why I love you."-Dimitri Belikov.
"You're beautiful in battle Rose, like an avenging angel come to deliver the justice of heaven."- Dimitri Belikov
"I gave up on you. Love fades, Mine has." - Dimitri Belikov
"The Battle cry sort of gave you away. Try not to yell next time." -Dimitri Belikov
Rose: "Oh God, that's horrible. And she... she just let it happen?"
So I suggested to Dimitri that maybe he should let me off this time. He laughed, and I’m pretty sure it was AT me and not WITH me.
Deadlines an't real to me unless i'm stairing them in the face - Percy
Ever had a flying burrito hit you? Well, it's a deadly projectile, right up there with cannonballs and grenades. - Percy
"Grover was sniffing the wind, looking nervous. He fished out his acorns and threw them into the sand, then played his pipes. They rearranged themselves in a pattern that made no sense to me, but Grover looked concerned.
With great power... comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later. - Nico
"Love conquers all," Aphrodite promised. "Look at Helen and Paris. Did they let anything come between them?"
Dreams like a podcast,
Annabeth: Hey, Seaweed Brain.
"It's him," I said. "Typhon."
She glanced at the minotaur horn in my hands, then back at me. I imagined she was going to say, You killed a minotaur! or Wow, you're so awesome! or something like that.
"Percy (to Annabeth): If I was going to pick one person in the world to reattach my head, I'd pick you.
"Families are mess. Immortal families are eternally messy. Sometimes the best we can do is to remind each other that we're related, for better or worse...and try to keep the maiming and killing to a minimum." - God
"Monkey bar," Annabeth said. "I'm great at these." She leaped onto to the first rung and start swinging her way across. She was scared of tiny spiders, but not of plummeting to her death from a set of monkey bars. Go figure." - Percy and Annabeth
teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it However, halfway down the alley she noticed
She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep.
Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.
The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God?
A girl and a guy were speeding, on a motorcycle, over 90 mph on the road...
Girl: Slow down. I'm scared
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, you're really scaring me!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.Girl hugs him
Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? It's bugging me.
(In the paper the next day)
A motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it, but only one survived.
girls, dont you wish that you had a guy like that? only, i think that it would have been smarter to just keep going until the gas ran out...
What would you do for someone you love?
At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping it all over his lap.
When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him by never even bothering to practice.
When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back.
When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.
When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.
When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.
When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.
When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.
When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him by taking it every chance you could.
When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him by being on the phone all night.
When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn.
When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.
When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you how deep he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the country.
When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children.
And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
what i think the characters from Vampire academy could look like:
...A Real Boyfriend Should...
When she stares at your mouth
- Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.
- When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is; 'whose butt am I kicking baby?'
Characters from the darkest powers and women of the otherworld:
Possible Elena Michaels :
Characters from stories:
Story: This is my life:
what Bethany Johnson looks like :