Updated on 28 April 2021.

Yes I'm alive, or at least one of us is. It is with much anguish and pain that I wish to inform our readers that my better half and beloved, annoying, cherished, fucking idiot of a twin sister, Kur0 passed away on 6 March 2018 due to congenital heart failure after a severe pneumonia attack.

I... have returned and attempted to write occasionally after that. I bluntly confess that while I never replied, I was still here in the past 4 years, I read your reviews, I read the many many messages you sent to us privately and I blankly stared at our work, our profile.

I didn't want to leave it hanging, but every time I tried to write anything, I just felt crushed and started crying. I didn't want to leave it, it was one of the few things we continued to share even after I moved out of OZ... I convinced myself I just needed time, it'll hurt less eventually then I can continue and finish our work. I even went around telling and private messaging people, set a deadline for myself to come back. But... It never worked. I'd manage to go as far as opening our last document, then I'd see her stupid comments at the side and the silly jokes she wanted me to fit in, the sappy s* she insisted we must have and I'd start crying again.

Anything I wrote at that point came out a horrible, grim, gloomy mess that would just be an insult to what we've already written. It has taken me 4 years to come to a point where I can at least update this profile without breaking into tears in the process and openly tell everyone that I'm sorry for failing to meet all your expectations. Eventually, I may be able to properly write again, but it will not be anytime soon.

I'm sorry.

Kishi.

About Us...

Rather then focus on the abilities of characters, we generally go for stories where the interaction between characters, development of the way they think, the way they act, growth of character and abilities to match and as such i am a great fan of multiple anime and stories.

Prominent among some are like Naruto (which we both gradually gave up on though, due to great dislike of stories where the characters get by through pure dumb luck and underdog support. Once is ok, twice is ok, five times is pushing it, 500 chapters of it is pure stupid), type-MOON series which are pure awesome(FSN,tsukihime its rarer cousin kara no kyoukai etc), eragon, percy jackson but only the first series, the subsequent ones are dissappointing, and some of the rarer gems which i wont list here

Despite dabbling in the World of Anime and Manga for nearly 15 years, good characters that we can emotionally connect to are few and rare. Only five anime/manga/game females have ever been able to inspire at least a hint of emotion response from me. Surprisingly Kur0 agrees, she dislikes all the hype that comes with pretty boys

1. Tamamo no Mae - Fate/Extra

2. Kaine - Nier

3. Aqua - Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep

4. Alicia Melchiott - Valkyrie Chronicles

5. Eri Sawachika - School Rumble

Our stories

Our biggest issue with canon manga is that Sasuke serves as an inadequate foil to Naruto, one that gets too much screen time just because he showed attention to an emotionally deprived Naruto. That is the only real connection they share. That and the cool factor Sasuke has obviously doesn’t hurt.

Kinda sad isn’t it? Makes me regret being human.

Anyway, if we take it to its logical conclusion, if Naruto wasn’t so hung up on Sasuke, or at least had one other connection outside of Team 7 early on, he would have made more friends instead of treating everyone else outside of Team 7 and the big three (Gaara, Jiraiya and Killer Bee) like expendables and Sasuke’s significance would basically be zero. Nada. Zilch. Just someone he has to off eventually.

It would be more accurate to say that while I resent him for having so much pointless screen time which could be used to make Naruto more analytical (Has ANYONE ever heard of a STUPID Hokage that knows jack about diplomacy?) and less pointlessly flashy or develop other characters instead of shunting them aside (Rock and Hinata anyone?); in the end I couldn’t care less about a flat character like him.

Thus, we've always wanted to see how Naruto would react if Naruto was subjected different set of circumstances outside of Sasuke, Sasuke and Sasuke. Mostly because we both thought that, as attention starved as Naruto Uzumaki was, he held onto any show of affection like a dead man to a life line; resulting in a one track mind regarding Sasuke and Sakura.

From there, our works are born.

Amethyst Love is about a Naruto who has found something more important than those ideals.

Broken Faith was about a Naruto who has abandoned those ideals as childish but slowly learns to see that maybe, just maybe, being idealistic isn't all that bad after all.

Caliburn Initiative is about Naruto that held onto his ideals. The problem was that the environment he is in has changed. His ideals are NO LONGER RELEVANT.

End Game is about one who has taken those ideals to the extreme.

Unwavering Fate is about one whose ideals have changed along with the environment but the core principles never changed.

Needless to say, The Hunter, Blessed Curse and Fata Morgana don’t really count.

That's always the core of all our stories. Please enjoy our work.

XXXXXXXXKur0KishiXXXXXXXXX

The Situation in Hell

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."

*I stole this off Kenchi618's profile, so props to him, and props to whoever wrote this*

Well it’s happened.

My faith in humanity has officially went down the drain as every other self-respecting Naruto fan with a hint of common sense self destructed when chapter 627 came out then Kishimoto buried the remains in dog shit with 628 and my Hokage vs Madara boner just… died.

It… galls me, you know. Sharingan gets all sorts of uber skills in the past 30 or so chapters while Naruto gets reduced to barely any screen time, repeating shounen stock lines about friendship and play GLORIFIED SHIELD cum WALKING BATTERY.

(Naruto... If you really had that much power to spare, why didn't you just put everything into one overpowered Rasengan and finish it instead of letting the Shinobi Alliance NIBBLE away at the Juubi's petrified ass? If the first don't work, I highly doubt the second will after all.

What's that? Kishimoto needs to write Shounen-y stuff about how teamwork and compassion with complete strangers will win the day even if this is the first time they used CORROSIVE KURAMA SPAM? Alright, gotcha.)

Ever since Madara and his testicles from the sky showed up, along with the Rinnegan is an upgrade of the Sharingan bullcrap, I had to force myself to read it, just to keep up with things so that my fics don’t become too obsolete. Then 627 happened. Given what I wrote in chapter 8 of Caliburn long before 627 or 628 came out, I thought I’d at least feel some amusement at the irony but I can’t even muster enough excitement to say “I told you so.”

His attempted murder of several characters that were miles cooler and far more interesting than a self centred Avenger, not including that one nut job of a fangirl who FORGAVE him for nearly killing her and abandoning her *cough Karin cough* after a convincing and touching and heartwarming and and honest CHAT.

(Though I’m honestly inclined to think that Kishimoto put Karin’s reaction in as a jab to all the Uchiha ass kissers. Kill people, act like a complete jerk and people will still accept you because you’re good looking or whatnot. But then again, that would mean giving Kishimoto the benefit of the doubt, and I'm not sure I'm ready to do that yet.)

Nope. Still reading.

A big bad who’s one and only reason for spewing his hate semen all over the world was because his childhood crush died while a dirty old man touched him. Admittedly, Naruto going bat shit crazy on the world because Sakura fell into a ditch and died would totally be cool to read. There's still something deeply amusing about a bunch of super powered people fighting a damned war over someone's dead crush though.

Still reading.

The Hero’s entire motto about determination and hard work being thrown right out the window anytime he makes even a single badass move because the mangaka just couldn’t HANDLE the idea of an idiot shinobi showing up his favourite character and FINALLY GAINING SOME BADASS CREDENTIALS. Sobbing and hyperventilating at the thought of Sasuke being hunted down? In front of the goddamned Raikage? Fuck... really? For perspective, when Konoha was destroyed, all he did was scowl while he pumped Nagato’s ass full of glowing blue basketballs.

I’m still trying. Honest.

Those red tennis balls that were supposed to be rarer than a shiny three legged Arceus and yet keep showing up all over the place, up to and including in someone’s fraking WALL while they keep getting more and more imba powers from instant kill fire blast to unbreakable mind rape skills to Giant Glowing Samuraiz! until Kishimoto straight up tells you they can give reality the middle finger while our beloved Hero limps along the entire 600 plus chapters with what is essentially two separate Jutsu, not counting KURAMA SPAM, even though the series essentially began by talking about how Naruto could be someone despite having a demon in his gut. Instead, we get to see the Rasengan meshed, twisted and abused until it's basically the Paris Hilton of Naruto.

Hint: Making it bigger and calling it something else isn’t really making much of a difference. What’s that? Kishimoto says it does? Oh. Well... *turns the page*

The plot buggering itself sideways to keep aforementioned Avenger and his pretty face juuuust within redeemable limits because the mangaka, along with almost every girl and guy with a raging stiffie for the Uchiha’s tall, dark and handsome good looks and UBER COOL, EMO, ANGSTINESS that inspires nearly 80% of every teenager on Earth to put on red contacts and silently stand in a corner with a cool, sexy, frown. *I HEAR A MILLION PEOPLE WANKING*

Oh, you mean I’m supposed to turn that page so I can find out what other new rule breaking power they inherited in the last 30 or so chapters?

Our dearest Avenger and his mildly dysfunctional yet incredibly cool and handsome family finally being... REDEEMED AND ACCEPTED BY EVERYONE THEY BUGGERED WITH A JACKHAMMER after HAVING A CHAT with a coupla rotting dudes in the UZUMAKI TEMPLE that somehow contains PRICELESS ARTIFACTS THAT CAN OVERTURN LIFE AND DEATH and just so happens to be a couple of meters OUTSIDE KONOHA while a certain blonde grew up in a trash dump without learning jack about his birth parents? The fact that he already KNOWS everything they said because everybody, up to and including his dead brother's ass has been yelling it at him the entire time doesnt matter because they OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T TALK ABOUT THE WILL OF FIRE!

Sigh.

No matter how awesome the four dead Hokage coming to life to kick Madara and Obito’s ass is, it just doesn’t hold up against 50 chapters of flashback abuse and 300 chapters of Kishimoto justifying Sasuke’s revenge trip before he just… switches.

Sound of faith shattering into a bajillion pieces*

For some strange reason, I hear that sound a lot whenever I go to the toilet.

Knowing that this was coming really didn’t make it any easier but I salute you, Kishimoto. Kubo Tite tried, but you succeeded. I know I’m just one single, well two, random nobodies that read your work while peppering the internet with poorly written imitations and I know that a lot of people love the dead Hokage's coming out to go all out in their awesomeness, I did as well... maybe there's something wrong with me, but I just can't accept this happy ending. Here’s one less person you can count on buying your latest volume.

Forgive my rant.

Chapter 631. Now there's Suspension of Disbelief and then there's Insulting my Fucking Intelligence. Guess which one this chapter is.

Sasuke wants to be Hokage and Naruto does everything short of ACTUALLY kissing him while the net is full of people proclaiming Kishimoto's greatness. If that wasn't already bad enough, it also happens to be full of people SQUEEING to kingdom come about Minato comparing Sakura to Kushina while Naruto grins and nods. Let me get this straight first, I don't care about that ship tease, what I DO care about is that as far as those three idiots are concerned, Hinata can die offscreen for all it matters. I'm not a Hina/Naru shipper TBH, far from it, but ignoring a girl's confession after she tried so hard is pretty jerkassish to me. Even a polite, 'No I don't like you because your eyes freak me out' wouldn't have been as assholish as this.

Is is something in the water? Is the air too poluted?

because all too suddenly, Common Sense doesn't seem too common anymore. They should rename it to Rare sense.

As in-Short-Fucking-Supply- sense.

P.S About the only good thing about this chapter is that Hashirama is goddamn awesome; You shut up! I'll deal with you later! Madara; Bitch slapped.