Ioga
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Joined 10-08-10, id: 2568751, Profile Updated: 05-01-14
Author has written 13 stories for Ancient Anguish, Naruto, Monty Python, and True Blood.

Hot diddly, I never guessed that having a Fanfiction.net account would be more rewarding than a Fictionpress one. The readership size difference between a Naruto fic and anything original I've put to words is staggering. It even got me motivated to actually write out a random silly scene that expanded into a 15k-word fluff. The experience gained: 1) I'm able to write new stuff again! Woot! I even have a routine now! 2) I'm able to FINISH a story?! TWICE?! Colour me flabberghasted! 3) Romance/relationship stories good, Naruto stories great, romance/relationship stories in Naruto: hit counts that overshadow the sum of everything else you've created on a 100:1 range. I even dipped my toe into True Blood - maybe I can combine my shapeshifter fetish with fanfiction readers?

Yeah sure, I'm still going to go on producing original fiction too, but as during my shoebox-writing time, it'll be more because it's forcefully clawing its way out through my forehead than any expectation of a vast readership. The definite upside, though, is the existence of review exchange systems to get solicited feedback. I'm Returning Reviews (TM) on principle, but am at the time rather slow at reading due to time constraints.

If you want to export my works in easier-to-store formats, I am cross-posting them on my Archive of our Own account under the same handle.


"Earth and Heaven" is a Naruto fanfic that was inspired by the Hinata vs. Neji fight in the chuunin exams. "Flight of Fancy" is a Naruto tongue-in-cheek romantic fic triangulating Tenten, Kakashi and Neji. I try to advance my nefarious shifter agenda on Fictionpress and here (see below).

"As you were" is a True Blood fanfic. I do try to stay away from vampires, but honestly, the series has two breeds of shapeshifters and the main character (yeah, you heard me ;)) is Scandinavian. How could I walk away?

"But Ears Are Important" is a story of what you get when a strong female character gets swept off her feet by one of those blasted cool elf mages that every fantasy Multi-User Dungeon (MUD) is (/ should be) crawling with. This one is set in a MUD Ancient Anguish (AA), but it is readable as a piece of generic fantasy if you haven't been around it. The different "Verses" are old lyrical insider jokes, posted mostly to boost the newly founded AA category. ;)

"Ode to a rogue" is a trilogy I wrote to celebrate the strange feats of Moriyokiri, a legendary rogue on Ancient Anguish. He's a character you should get to know. ObAdvertisement: Ancient Anguish is still around at anguish.org, go try it if you like living in stories! End advertisement. Moriyokiri is not my original creation, and any names, rituals etc referenced are straight from AA.


And, of course, it would be downright criminal to have an account here without pointing at a couple of definite favourites:

Harry Potter and the methods of rationality by LessWrong - If you have a thing for science and can avoid puking at the first mention of Harry Potter, you have got to read this. Seriously. What happens when you make Harry think like a scientist*? Chaos ensues, is what!

The Contentious Heart by elle6778 - A Naruto fanfic with an ItaSaku setting. I didn't even particularly like either character, but after this... elle6778 writes a mean Naruto romance in general, and her stories inspired me to publish myself - to give something back to the community that produces stuff like this.

The Mage and the Wolf by Phoenike - A Dragon Age fanfic with Fenris and Hawke. But get this: I did not know half a thing about Dragon Age before I started reading this fanfic, and it it made me want to learn more about the original. This is, in my opinion, what separates great fanfiction from good fanfiction.

(*) And if you think LessWrong picked a tough job in making Harry Potter brainy, just try Luminosity; it's a Twilight fanfic which builds on the assumption that Bella has half a brain and apparently gets somewhere from there. It just convinces me that the transhumanist crowd is a bunch of masochistic crazies.

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Cat'O'Nine Tails by Kaze and Kiba reviews
Sakura you are being sent undercover to capture Uchiha Itachi, and any other Akatsuki you come into contact with, while on your mission. Ha. Yeah right, just let me get my big net and ass kicking boots...What do you mean when you say 'Disguised as a cat?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 37 - Words: 142,897 - Reviews: 2649 - Favs: 1,931 - Follows: 1,906 - Updated: 3/10 - Published: 3/7/2010 - Sakura H., Akatsuki
Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality by Less Wrong reviews
Petunia married a biochemist, and Harry grew up reading science and science fiction. Then came the Hogwarts letter, and a world of intriguing new possibilities to exploit. And new friends, like Hermione Granger, and Professor McGonagall, and Professor Quirrell... COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 122 - Words: 661,619 - Reviews: 32478 - Favs: 19,385 - Follows: 15,748 - Updated: 3/14/2015 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Kung Fu Panda by Sandataba reviews
"I assure you Hokage-sama, I am NOT the Dragon Warrior, no matter what Gai's crazy turtle says!" Tenten is the chosen one. Both she and Neji vehemently object. Alternate histories, universe-bending realities, and one teashop girl, standing in front of a homicidal fate-obsessed boy, just asking him not to kill her. Tenten x Evil!Neji. Quite the AU
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 35,637 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 2/4/2015 - Published: 9/5/2010 - Neji H., Tenten, Genma S., Akatsuki - Complete
Sometimes Fantasies come True by Crimson Siyrean reviews
Kakashi tries to save an ally from an unknown kunoichi determined to use all her skills to complete her mission. Problem is, it turns out that kunoichi was Hinata and Kakashi just blew her assignment. But if that's all, then why can't they look at each other?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 40,730 - Reviews: 296 - Favs: 287 - Follows: 342 - Updated: 7/5/2013 - Published: 12/26/2009 - Kakashi H., Hinata H.
Team Gai is Family by Sandataba reviews
TGIF Series. A compilation of short stories about Team Gai. Updated, incidentally, on Fridays. Stories 9 & 10: Family and fanaticism
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 11,611 - Reviews: 125 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 10/26/2012 - Published: 2/9/2011 - Team Gai, Tenten
Dirty Old Men by Crimson Siyrean reviews
After being forced to take seduction classes, the girls decide to take revenge on the opposite sex by showing them just what they've learned about using their feminine wiles. Unfortunately, it doesn't take long to realize that perhaps they've bitten off a bit more than they could chew when getting involved with an older man. Large Ensemble Cast Genma/Hinata Kakashi/Tenten main
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 38 - Words: 152,410 - Reviews: 1495 - Favs: 996 - Follows: 1,055 - Updated: 10/10/2012 - Published: 4/12/2009 - Kakashi H., Tenten, Hinata H., Genma S.
The Mage and the Wolf by Phoenike reviews
"Thank you for saving my life, mage. But if you touch me again, I will probably have to kill you." Rivalry m!Hawke/Fenris with a twist. Hadriana, Isabela, later Zevran prominent. Some mild-ish noncon, dubcon.
Dragon Age - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 139,087 - Reviews: 240 - Favs: 199 - Follows: 236 - Updated: 2/14/2012 - Published: 4/21/2011 - [Hawke (M), Fenris]
Not the Slightest Folly by Lawliet's Angel reviews
"No, Sherlock," John interrupted. "I understand that it's a hedgehog. I'm thrilled that you've found something to talk to that actually has working ears. What I fail to comprehend is why you've chosen the animal equivalent of a cactus." Sherlock/John
Sherlock - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,603 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 150 - Follows: 16 - Published: 12/25/2011 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Two for the Price of One by Jan Lee reviews
[SUPER-ONESHOT.] Who would've thought Ino could get two elusive men into the sack at the same time? Yeah, she didn't think so either, until she did. Ino-centric. Ino/Yamato/Kakashi. Citrus.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,163 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 5 - Published: 11/25/2011 - Ino Y., Kakashi H., Yamato - Complete
Scorpion's Disciple by nobody102 reviews
AU. Orochimaru's resignation from Akatsuki is more intense than in canon, resulting in a meeting between young Naruto and Sasori… Slow buildup. Last chapter is a summary, technically not complete.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 15 - Words: 149,612 - Reviews: 2300 - Favs: 4,968 - Follows: 3,437 - Updated: 10/17/2011 - Published: 6/25/2009 - Naruto U. - Complete
The Return of the Heir by elle6778 reviews
Konoha is on its way to recovery with Kakashi at the helm. Sakura thinks that she's getting back on track with her life. Until Itachi walks back into Konoha, a free man. One secret had once torn them apart. What about the other? Sequel to The Lost One.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 156,417 - Reviews: 1633 - Favs: 1,135 - Follows: 718 - Updated: 8/22/2011 - Published: 12/15/2009 - Sakura H., Itachi U. - Complete
It Was on a Cold and Chilly Table by Jan Lee reviews
[SHORT STORY.] So it's time for Kiba's physical exam. Do you think a guy could have some privacy? Hell, no. Not with Yamanaka Ino as his medic. Good thing? Or bad? Kiba-centric, Kiba/Ino. CITRUS.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 9,045 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 1/29/2011 - Published: 1/25/2011 - [Kiba I., Ino Y.]
Infidian the Beautiful by Sydiemath reviews
Written in 2007 in praise of a large addition to the game: the eastern continent of Infidian. Set to the tune of a popular American patriotic song.
Ancient Anguish - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 153 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/9/2010 - Complete
The Anguish Child's ABC's by Sydiemath reviews
A popular children's book on both Anguish and Infidian. As with all of Ancient Anguish, a text-based game, you must use your imagination for the pictures. Thanks to all who helped brainstorm these abc's!
Ancient Anguish - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 213 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/9/2010 - Complete
RanmaTronic by Kadunta reviews
MCP couldn't compute Ranma's curse, so he had to be removed from the physical world. Nabiki thought she was smart, but she wasn't smart enough to stay out of trouble. Let us follow them as they try to return to the real world.
Crossover - Ranma & Tron - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 10 - Words: 74,129 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 11/14/2010 - Published: 7/28/2010 - Ranma, Nabiki - Complete
The Spy Who Henge'd Me by Sandataba reviews
A mysterious, handsome man. Tenten. Yes, Tenten is the mysterious handsome man! Her missions are getting weirder and weirder. Kakashi x Tenten
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,994 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 10 - Published: 9/9/2010 - Tenten, Kakashi H. - Complete
In Which Holmes Covets His Possessions by Lawliet's Angel reviews
Dr. John Watson is not about to let anyone give him dating advice, ESPECIALLY not Sherlock Holmes. HolmesxWatson ONESHOT
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,683 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 9 - Published: 8/20/2010 - S. Holmes, J. Watson - Complete
Subbed by Kadunta reviews
Unedited reupload. Love and obsession are hard to tell apart. Ranma's living proof of that, but some obsessions are less obvious than others.
Ranma - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,575 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 6 - Published: 7/28/2010 - Ranma, Kasumi - Complete
Mounted by CatEye360 reviews
Tenten gave into a fit of giggles, "Oh Shika-" Only to find herself in a tangle of strong arms and hands, flipped over and pushed facedown - hard. Shika shows Ten who's boss. Rated for sexual situations.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 421 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/30/2010 - Shikamaru N., Tenten - Complete
The Lost One by elle6778 reviews
Memories lost, Itachi began to settle into life as a civilian in a secluded village. But when fate thrust Sakura into the picture, he knew he could no longer avoid his past. ItaSaku. Spoiler up to Manga Chapter 449. Prequel to The Return of the Heir.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 131,913 - Reviews: 881 - Favs: 887 - Follows: 335 - Updated: 5/24/2010 - Published: 11/7/2009 - Sakura H., Itachi U. - Complete
Vespertine by Cynchick reviews
Two enemies strike a bargain to save what they both hold dear. He will reveal a truth that shakes her beliefs, drawing her into a web of lies and betrayal. She will offer the redemption for which he never hoped and show him how to be human again. ItaSaku.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 117,376 - Reviews: 2161 - Favs: 3,492 - Follows: 1,188 - Updated: 2/22/2010 - Published: 3/25/2009 - Itachi U., Sakura H. - Complete
The Greek Problem by Candle Beck reviews
Slash, Holmes/Watson. People die for love and they kill for it.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14,039 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 253 - Follows: 13 - Published: 2/7/2010 - J. Watson, S. Holmes - Complete
A Flirty Flower by Jan Lee reviews
[ONESHOT] Ino's a flirt, and she gets more than she bargained for when she flirts with Kankuro. Ino-centric, Ino/Kankuro.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,029 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 6 - Published: 6/15/2009 - [Ino Y., Kankuro] - Complete
Edward meets Sherlock Holmes by Van Wolfe reviews
Why did Edward stop hunting criminals? During those brief ten years, he was just like a superhero...So why? Because he met someone. A man named Sherlock Holmes.
Crossover - Sherlock Holmes & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,556 - Reviews: 196 - Favs: 299 - Follows: 31 - Published: 1/27/2009 - Sherlock Holmes, Edward - Complete
Basic Human Needs by Maiden of the Moon reviews
What’s more," L continued, wholly unfazed, "after deep consideration of all factors, I’ve concluded that there is a sixty eight percent chance that you would not only enjoy engaging in sexual intercourse with me, but that you would prefer me to Misa."
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,237 - Reviews: 325 - Favs: 729 - Follows: 71 - Published: 10/22/2008 - L, Light Y. - Complete
The Contentious Heart by elle6778 reviews
This is just another infiltration mission, right? Granted, Sakura's target is the Akatsuki, but there is still no reason for this conflict in her heart. Little does she know that Itachi is just as disconcerted. ItaSaku. Spoilers up to Manga Chapter 353.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 277,720 - Reviews: 2241 - Favs: 2,129 - Follows: 669 - Updated: 9/14/2008 - Published: 12/18/2007 - Itachi U., Sakura H. - Complete
Laundry Day by CatEye360 reviews
Besides, you haven't added my clothes yet so I might as well get naked for a good cause while we're at it. KakaTen
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,003 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 6 - Published: 11/22/2007 - Kakashi H., Tenten - Complete
Perception by Cynchick reviews
The Akatsuki think Sakura will be the perfect bait to lure the Kyuubi but they get a whole lot more than they planned for. A story about the blurred line between good and evil and how what we think we know can be proven very wrong. ItaSaku
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 140,125 - Reviews: 1978 - Favs: 3,119 - Follows: 685 - Updated: 10/5/2007 - Published: 5/26/2007 - Itachi U., Sakura H. - Complete
A Fair Fight by vampirepenguin reviews
Tenten doesn't mind fighting dirty if she has to, but she prefers an even match. [oneshot, KankurouTenten]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 700 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 4 - Published: 9/8/2007 - Tenten, Kankuro - Complete
Necromancer by V-chan2k6 reviews
Uchiha Sasuke was holding on to something. In one chance encounter, she brought it back to life. [COMPLETE]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 87,757 - Reviews: 535 - Favs: 660 - Follows: 143 - Updated: 9/6/2007 - Published: 8/14/2006 - Sasuke U., Tenten - Complete
Inamorato by firefly reviews
Nobody told Tobi that out of all the calendar holidays, Valentine’s Day was the last one to be passionately celebrated in the company of seven homicidal men. Crackfic.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,086 - Reviews: 1578 - Favs: 3,913 - Follows: 423 - Published: 4/10/2007 - Obito U., Deidara - Complete
A Friendly Spar by vampirepenguin reviews
Temari likes it better when the odds are against her. It makes victory sweeter in the end, she thinks. [TemariNeji, oneshot]
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 696 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/13/2006 - Temari, Neji H. - Complete
Juppon Buki by Istoria reviews
Ten weapons, ten stories, the long path to achieving a dream. A character study of the weapons expert Tenten.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 22,752 - Reviews: 469 - Favs: 785 - Follows: 125 - Updated: 1/19/2006 - Published: 8/11/2004 - Tenten - Complete
Little Green Leaf by Ninja Shen reviews
...Fine. If you wanna die so bad, it's your call. But you gotta prove to me you're worth the effort. I'll let you fight my sister... but first, you gotta get through ME. Kankuro x Tenten [finished]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 36,591 - Reviews: 672 - Favs: 975 - Follows: 135 - Updated: 10/29/2005 - Published: 11/10/2004 - Kankuro, Tenten - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Flight of fancy reviews
Tenten, a long-time sleeper agent in Konoha, breaks her cover to deliver vital information back to her home village. As she tries to flee Fire Country with her precious cargo, she is pursued by the very people she has learned to like and admire. (Completed! Yay!)
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 30,553 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 5/1/2014 - Published: 2/6/2011 - Tenten, Kakashi H. - Complete
An intercepted message reviews
A runner heading northwards has something run into her. (Ancient Anguish is a text-based, fantasy-themed role-playing game. No earlier knowledge of the world is required. If you are familiar with general Dungeons and Dragons or Lord of the Rings inspired fantasy, we are on the same track.)
Ancient Anguish - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,565 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 11/11/2013 - Complete
Random encounter
A shifty encounter in the northern woods: Who hunts whom? (I tend to write rather euphemistic stories with Strong Adversaries. This story is the result of my homework assignment: try writing smut where the female party takes an active role for a change.) Prior knowledge of the AA world not needed, as usual.
Ancient Anguish - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,224 - Published: 10/11/2013 - Complete
A white dwarf reviews
An intruder at my master's estate? And the weather was just perfect for a lightning-bolt flinging. Oh yes, he would be dead before his well-crisped corpse hit the ground.
Ancient Anguish - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,581 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 8/28/2012 - Published: 7/24/2012 - Complete
Don't Kill The Messenger reviews
One-shot. Kakuzu does not like bad news. Sometimes it can be very difficult to be running the daily operations of a criminal organization of crazily powerful madmen.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,067 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/8/2012 - Kakuzu - Complete
But Ears Are Important reviews
The usual: you have a human mercenary, and an elf mage, and friendly barbs turn into romance once there's enough near-death experience involved. This story is placed in Ancient Anguish, but can be read as general fantasy; no knowledge of AA is required.
Ancient Anguish - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,787 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 11/6/2011 - Published: 11/16/2010
As you were reviews
What would be the worst thing that could happen to a werewolf Finn? Facing an insanely powerful, were-loathing vampire... who turns out to be Swedish! Arrrgh! OC x Eric, ObTribute to his blatant Scandinavianity. Contains grave humour.
True Blood - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,244 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 4/22/2011 - Published: 4/14/2011 - Eric N. - Complete
Ode to a rogue, a trilogy reviews
Moriyokiri, the legendary rogue, demonstrates his strange charms in three meetings: with a cleric, another rogue, and a Knight. No knowledge of Ancient Anguish is needed; this can be read as regular fantasy.
Ancient Anguish - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,566 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 1/15/2011 - Published: 10/13/2010 - Complete
Verses: Alton In A Pie
Yet another attempt to challenge Alton, the master mage, goes horribly wrong. And I cannot even get this pie song out of my head.
Ancient Anguish - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 309 - Published: 12/4/2010 - Complete
Verses: The Eldar Elf Song
This piece combines the Lumberjack sketch with an Ancient Anguish guild of elves, imaginatively called The Eldar.
Crossover - Monty Python & Ancient Anguish - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 206 - Published: 12/4/2010 - Complete
Verses: Knights of Ducat tables reviews
This piece is about the complicated life of the Knights of Drin. They frequent the Golden Ducat inn, where the tables are - of course - round.
Crossover - Monty Python & Ancient Anguish - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 117 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12/4/2010 - Complete
Verses: AA on a server farm reviews
This is the result of a perilous attempt at taking the Old MacDonald Had A Farm melody as a basis for a birthday song for Ancient Anguish. You have been warned.
Ancient Anguish - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 206 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12/4/2010 - Complete
Earth and Heaven reviews
One autumn night, Neji appears before Hinata, intent on to overthrowing the head family. This fic departs from canon some time before the chuunin exams, timed a few years after it.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,603 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 6 - Published: 10/15/2010 - Hinata H., Neji H. - Complete