Ranmyaku Kiritsu
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Joined 10-10-10, id: 2571910, Profile Updated: 08-04-12

Hello, if you came here expecting to see window after window of bio, i apologize

I often go by Arkan or Ran

I live in the USA

I will probably never publish anything, so most of your time here has been wasted

I love books, light novels (wish there was more sites like BakaTsuki, or better yet more translators and editors), and reading in general

I would prefer being a Betareader over being an author, but alas i am not "eligible" as of yet. (Read:Laziness)

Ninja Tips for Healthy Living

Exercise is important, but jogging is for wimps. Plenty of exercise can be had leaping from bushes and kicking joggers in the head.

Laughter is medicine. Ninjas practice the art of inappropriate laughter. Laughing when hearing about cancer also shows the Ninja's strength.

Ninjas occasionally, without warning, stab friends with throwing stars. Life is random. Ninjas embrace this fact of life.

Killing the wrong person happens. Ninjas know this. It's useless to live in the past.

Fiber in your diet is important. Ninjas eat the shirt off a complete stranger's back at least once a week.

Sex is extremely important to one's physical and mental health. Ninjas therefore fantasize about sex two, three, maybe seven times a day.

Everyone knows yoga classes are filled with women. Ninjas prove their strength and impress the ladies by killing the yoga instructor.

Samurais are the source of much stress for Ninjas. They think they're soooooo cool with their armor and swords and those awesome helmets. It's in a Ninja's best interest not to think about such things.

A strong handshake is a sign of good health and vigorous character. Ninjas therefore squeeze as tightly as possible and do not let go when shaking hands. Strong eye contact is also recommended.

When eating the still beating heart of the enemy, Ninjas eat it all. There are starving Ninjas in Africa who don't have any hearts to eat.

Cleanliness is next to Godliness. If Ninjas get ketchup stains on their outfits whilst eating out, they throw smoke pellets and disappear. Later, outside their den, they burn their outfits while screaming uncontrollably at the top of their lungs.

Mind Control is one of the Ninja's most powerful skills. Making small children give you money is not only hilarious, but quite lucrative, and therefore, healthy.

It's good for Ninjas to treat themselves to Western pleasures occasionally. That's why there's nothing wrong with putting on a comfortable Ninja outfit, lighting some candles, and watching "Ninja Vixens: Virgin Nightmares."

It is important for Ninjas not to be their own worst enemy. Therefore, Ninjas should be sure to practice proper dental care before wearing a face mask.

Secrecy is of upmost importance to the Ninja's peace of mind. Not even the Ninja's parents can know their identities. Not even if a Ninja still lives in the basement of his parents' house.

Ninjas always ride shotgun. It's good for their sense of self worth. If Ninjas are being forced to sit in the back seat, remember they always carry garrotes.
-By SkittleKick

I present to thee, the very model of a scientist salarian

I've studied species turian, asari and batarian.
I'm quite good at genetics (as a subset of biology)
Because I am an expert (which I know is a tautology)

I'm also quite familiar, too, with matters dealing medicine.
I'll diagnose and treat the galaxy's most sickly quarian.
I've cured most deadly plagues that bring populations to their knees
And I've learned to greatly limit the average amount of fertile Krogan seeds!

And he's learned to greatly limit the average amount of fertile Krogan seeds!
And he's learned to greatly limit the average amount of fertile Krogan seeds!
And he's learned to greatly limit the average amount of fertile Krogan-ogan seeds!

My xenoscience studies range from urban to agrarian,
Tuchanka, Illium, Omega, and those far more alien.
In short, in matters turian, asari, and batarian.
I am the very model of a scientist salarian.

In short, in matters turian, asari, and batarian,
He is the very model of a scientist salarian!

I know the numerous details of several species' chemistry,
From elcor to the volus, from evolution to anatomy,
Krogan reproduction, and the dextro-amino acid strains,
Of which turians and quarians form their cells and organs, bones and veins.

Humans are unique with their wide array of gene diversity,
My research of Collector technology shook society,
About beings' reaction to stress, my knowledge remains precise,
Those seeking support in intercourse, I can offer my advice.

Those seeking support in intercourse, he can offer his advice!
Those seeking support in intercourse, he can offer his advice!
Those seeking support in intercourse, he can offer his ad-his advice!

This vast supply of knowledge covers every living sapient.
My brilliant hardened mind is virtually omniscient.
In short, in matters turian, asari, and batarian,
I am the very model of a scientist salarian.

In short, in matters turian, asari, and batarian,
He is the very model of a scientist salarian!

Beyond scientific expertise, I've also skills in combat,
Killed people, once with farm equipment, many other violent acts.
One probably wouldn't tell from my exterior appearance.
In fact I'm quite familiar in subjects involving ordnance.

Though I've no trouble eliminating those I see as dangerous,
I can't deny that things I do are considered to be heartless,
Ethics and morals in the past have proven somewhat conflicted
But know it's for learning, growth, not death, for which I am addicted!

But know it's for learning, growth, not death, for which he is addicted!
But know it's for learning, growth, not death, for which he is addicted!
But know it's for learning, growth, not death, for which he is addict-addicted!

With my military past, I'll put a bullet in your head with ease.
I've disposed of ruffians almost as frequently as disease.
But still, in matters turian, asari, and batarian
I am the very model of a scientist salarian!

But still, in matters turian, asari, and batarian,
He is the very model of a scientist salarian!

*cough*

BY: masterryan005 down at the bioware forums

Iacta alea est!

Á beintôt

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God Slaying Blade Works by Marcus Galen Sands reviews
The first Fate/Stay Night-Campione! crossover. A Heavens Feel Shirou finds that himself and Illya have been pulled into another world by a corrupted Grail. There his actions lead to him becoming the Eighth god killing Devil King. Now he has to deal with becoming someone who rules where he walks, even if he doesn't want to. That and trying to find a way back home.
Crossover - Fate/stay night & Campione!/カンピオーネ! - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 31 - Words: 691,873 - Reviews: 3916 - Favs: 3,182 - Follows: 2,959 - Updated: 3/31 - Published: 9/27/2012 - Shirō E., K. Godou
A Long Journey Home by Rakeesh reviews
In one world, it was Harry Potter who defeated Voldemort. In another, it was Jasmine Potter instead. But her victory wasn't the end - her struggles continued long afterward. And began long, long before. (fem!Harry, powerful!Harry, sporadic updates)
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 155,338 - Reviews: 403 - Favs: 1,168 - Follows: 1,235 - Updated: 3/31 - Published: 11/19/2013 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G.
Guilty Melody by Mae Bleu reviews
AU What if things had gone a little bit differently at that one critical moment? "It's okay." He said sternly, tightening his grip. He could feel the crystals spreading. He ignored them. "I'm right here with you, Sis."
Guilty Crown/ギルティクラウン - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 71,981 - Reviews: 461 - Favs: 434 - Follows: 420 - Updated: 3/3 - Published: 4/14/2012 - Shu O.
A Soul of Fire by Satire Swift reviews
It has been five years since the horrors of the Fifth Holy Grail War, and Shirou Kotomine, Executor of the Church, is being sent to Shin Tokyo to oversee the area. When a series of happenstances cause him to find his birth family and a secret battle royale between alien babes, he decides to do what he does best. Let's just hope there's a city after he's done. An In Flight spin off.
Crossover - Fate/stay night & Sekirei - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 185,572 - Reviews: 950 - Favs: 1,605 - Follows: 1,635 - Updated: 3/1 - Published: 12/19/2012
Path of the King by Neoalfa reviews
"With swords that aren't yours, with skills that aren't yours, for dreams that aren't yours. Your entire existence is a lie!" - "Then I'll show you that even fake dreams can become reality." A different choice, a different path, a different FATE. Shirou/Multi
Fate/stay night - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 279,686 - Reviews: 2931 - Favs: 3,495 - Follows: 3,355 - Updated: 2/25 - Published: 12/21/2011 - Shirō E., Caster
The Magic of Her by halfdemonfan reviews
The box had been opened; there was no going back. Canon. Ren/Kyoko
Skip Beat! - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 144,921 - Reviews: 1051 - Favs: 959 - Follows: 1,292 - Updated: 1/13 - Published: 8/8/2011 - Ren, Kyoko M.
Temporal Tide by Avanwolf reviews
AU. Heartbroken and lost, ripped from her home and turned against her will, Bella tries to learn what it means to be a vampire. Skipping through time, can a love a thousand years in the making come to fruition? Tanya/Bella Femslash. Time Travel.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 69,709 - Reviews: 1505 - Favs: 1,304 - Follows: 1,622 - Updated: 1/10 - Published: 4/10/2012 - [Bella, Tanya]
A New World, The Story Of A Lost Shinobi by Lanky Nathan reviews
A different custom. A different language. A different time. A different dimension. Damnit Kakashi, where the hell did your Kamui send me?
Crossover - Naruto & Fairy Tail - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 33 - Words: 315,816 - Reviews: 3961 - Favs: 4,074 - Follows: 3,884 - Updated: 12/12/2014 - Published: 3/11/2012 - Naruto U.
Drifting by AlphaDelta1001 reviews
Naruto is many things; troublesome, wild, unpredictable, adventurous, untamable, unique. But there's a benefit to being wild and unpredictable; no one has the faintest idea what you're going to do next. NarutoHarem
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 49 - Words: 1,087,643 - Reviews: 5216 - Favs: 5,172 - Follows: 4,758 - Updated: 10/16/2014 - Published: 12/25/2012 - Naruto U.
From Fake Dreams by Third Fang reviews
Emiya Kiritsugu was happy living the rest of his short days. He had put his past behind him... until he began to dream of futures that had yet to be. Let it be known that the Magus Killer was not dangerous simply because he was dying and had no plans to fight.
Fate/stay night - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 37 - Words: 616,054 - Reviews: 4546 - Favs: 3,842 - Follows: 3,397 - Updated: 10/3/2014 - Published: 7/22/2011 - Shirō E.
Indomitable by ShaperV reviews
Naruto isn’t a moron. Jiraiya isn’t a clueless loser. The Kyuubi doesn’t intend to die. Three simple facts that will change the course of history. Eventual Naruto/Multi
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 82,589 - Reviews: 1312 - Favs: 4,233 - Follows: 4,690 - Updated: 6/24/2014 - Published: 7/10/2009 - Naruto U.
Fate: Heaven's Works by badliar 2312 reviews
Direction. A guidance given to a certain subject for it to be precise in its progress towards its objective. In the onset of the Fifth Holy Grail War, none of its participants thought that Shirou Emiya was a powerful threat. But guided by his improved distortion and trained in the arts of his personalized Gradation Air, he will become what his father had dreamed of... a hero.
Fate/stay night - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 10 - Words: 138,401 - Reviews: 509 - Favs: 1,480 - Follows: 1,510 - Updated: 6/16/2014 - Published: 3/12/2013 - Shirō E.
Infinite Stratos: Resolve by Shiranui Amaterasu reviews
Seeing his sister sacrifice so much for his sake, Ichika vows to grow stronger and protect her instead. His new found resolve will alter his life forever... "Tabane-nee… I have a request… Please teach me about the Infinite Stratos!" *Up for adoption*
Infinite Stratos/IS<インフィニット・ストラトス> - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 12 - Words: 142,001 - Reviews: 428 - Favs: 805 - Follows: 746 - Updated: 6/4/2014 - Published: 11/30/2011 - Ichika O. - Complete
Chasing Yesterday by The King in White reviews
Rokudaime Hokage Uchiha Sasuke is a man with nothing beyond duty to the dead. Yet when a second chance comes from the lips of a demon, his battles begin anew...
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 183,292 - Reviews: 1306 - Favs: 2,448 - Follows: 2,474 - Updated: 5/17/2014 - Published: 3/5/2012 - [Sasuke U., Naruko U.] Itachi U., Hinata H.
Destiny is a Hazy Thing by Calanor reviews
The Yondaime had a plan, Madara had another. They were not the only ones who wanted their own vision to come to pass, but the future is never certain. When all plans of gods and men fail Naruto is suddenly free to choose his own destiny. Slow development
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 45 - Words: 567,152 - Reviews: 1495 - Favs: 1,350 - Follows: 1,300 - Updated: 4/28/2014 - Published: 9/29/2011 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Gray Morality by DeltaNovember reviews
When Touhou's Izayoi Sakuya is snatched away from her master by some low-level magician from another world, she has no choice but to bide her time serving a false mistress. Just how far will the Scarlet Devil Mansion go to reclaim their lost property?
Crossover - Familiar of Zero & Touhou Project - Rated: M - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 22 - Words: 152,720 - Reviews: 355 - Favs: 304 - Follows: 268 - Updated: 3/20/2014 - Published: 10/11/2013 - Louise, Sakuya I. - Complete
In Flight by gabriel blessing reviews
Honestly, Shirou was beginning to think that he should be used to this; being unwittingly selected to take part in brutal tournament that he had no idea existed until he found himself in the middle of it. Then again, second times the charm, right?
Crossover - Fate/stay night & Sekirei - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 44 - Words: 762,492 - Reviews: 8067 - Favs: 4,907 - Follows: 3,271 - Updated: 12/21/2013 - Published: 12/14/2010 - Shirō E. - Complete
The Sibling Complication by Eliya Shirwood reviews
After a disastrous two weeks, the troubled siblings find themselves entangled in a forbidden relationship that they will either regret or cherish forever. (A/N: Waterpark arc finished!)
My Little Sister Can't Be This Cute/俺の妹がこんなに可愛いわけがない - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 34 - Words: 136,762 - Reviews: 475 - Favs: 358 - Follows: 379 - Updated: 10/10/2013 - Published: 8/31/2011 - Kyousuke K., Kirino K.
The Protector's Temptation by Sedor reviews
On the eve of his 17th birthday, a powerless Ichigo is given a chance to regain his powers once again, but with a completely different twist. AU from after the Winter War. Chapter 22 & 23 edited. Please see note EDIT, for more information.
Bleach - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 24 - Words: 101,564 - Reviews: 1197 - Favs: 1,788 - Follows: 1,726 - Updated: 8/23/2013 - Published: 7/16/2012 - Ichigo K., Kyoka Suigetsu
In Your Dreams by Halbarad reviews
Golden Week has arrived! While the rest of the SOS Brigade makes plans, Kyon is forced to go to a family reunion far out in the country - so Haruhi gives him an assignment: learning about lucid dreaming. Surely nothing unusual could come of that...
Haruhi Suzumiya series - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 137,428 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 186 - Follows: 151 - Updated: 4/12/2013 - Published: 11/22/2011 - Haruhi S., Kyon - Complete
Coincidence and Misunderstandings by Silently Watches reviews
The Azarathian coming of age is only a few short months away for Raven, and she is struggling with some ugly truths about herself. Can a bubblegum haired thief set her straight, or just confuse her even more? Raven/Jinx, AU
Teen Titans - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 71,137 - Reviews: 372 - Favs: 714 - Follows: 337 - Updated: 2/26/2013 - Published: 6/20/2012 - [Raven, Jinx] - Complete
Yet again, with a little extra help by Third Fang reviews
Things didn't go so well this time after Danzo betrayed konoha and joined Akatsuki. As the Kyubi was being removed from Naruto however, an unexpected stranger arrived to change all for the better... maybe. NaruHina timetravel some oc please review
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 77 - Words: 1,262,281 - Reviews: 5329 - Favs: 3,901 - Follows: 2,350 - Updated: 12/25/2012 - Published: 7/14/2009 - Naruto U., Hinata H. - Complete
The Golden Power by DBAinsw reviews
[TP]The Golden Power is omnipotent and omniscient. Its true nature is beyond mortal ken, but only mortals can decide how it is used. Any third of it could dominate the planet, but only all three together can save it. A tale of Royalty, Gods, and a Hero.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 26 - Words: 319,770 - Reviews: 601 - Favs: 679 - Follows: 485 - Updated: 4/27/2012 - Published: 5/18/2007
Orion by justtestingmyboundaries reviews
Eragon realizes the futility of his current endeavor and seeks help from outside sources. However, the price he pays seems to deep to those around him. Rated M for torture and lemon One shot ExA
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 20,094 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 229 - Follows: 71 - Published: 11/2/2011 - Arya, Eragon S. - Complete
When it all Comes Together by F-Hazard reviews
Let's see, what's to tell about me? I own a small candy store, I am as close to being a master of seals as anyone my age can be, and I have a voice in my head, er, sword. My name? Well, I was born as Naruto, now... not so much.
Crossover - Naruto & Bleach - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Spiritual - Chapters: 8 - Words: 95,942 - Reviews: 205 - Favs: 548 - Follows: 413 - Updated: 7/1/2011 - Published: 12/11/2010 - Naruto U., K. Urahara
The Hill of Swords by gabriel blessing reviews
When Louise Valliere performed her summons for her familiar, she certainly didn't expect for it to be a human! Strangely enough, the boy she summoned, Shirou Emiya, didn't expect to get summoned so soon. He hadn't even died yet!
Crossover - Fate/stay night & Familiar of Zero - Rated: M - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 23 - Words: 356,642 - Reviews: 2184 - Favs: 4,371 - Follows: 1,476 - Updated: 11/17/2010 - Published: 7/18/2010 - Shirō E., Louise - Complete