Author has written 23 stories for Harry Potter, Ib, and Hunger Games.
So...I'm not dead.
I'm hoping to churn out a whole lot more stories, but recently [other] personal problems have been cropping up, so I won't have much time to update. To those that have stuck with me through this story, I truly thank you!
Hopefully, once everything clears up, I'll return to writing regularly again. So in the meantime, don't forget to review! Reviews are a writer's best friend.
Hello there, fellow writers.
-My name, in real life, is Jasmine. No point looking through the telephone book to find out who am I, you'll just kill yourself.
-I'm in high school horror. Really, I don't mind high school much, but MY school is just crushing me.
-JK Rowling is the person who got me to start writing. She's my idol. I don't know where I'd be without her.
-I don't like Twilight, House of Night series or anything to do with fake vampires. They are the bane of my existence.
-I don't like Justin Bieber.
-I'm not really sociable, and I prefer to be alone most of the time.
-My favorite color is black.
-I am addicted to apples. [I don't know why I decided to tell you that]
MY MOTTO(s) (I HAVE A LOT):
Being weak is no excuse for anything.
Hope for the best, expect the worst.
Go for what you believe in- don't let anyone control you.
The world may not understand you, but you understand you, and that's enough.
When you fall, pick yourself up and try again, or you'll never go anywhere.
If the world helps you, it'll never be your work; it'd be the world's.
Everyone has their own problems- it's up to each one of us to decide whether we want to solve them or not.
A heart can be ripped apart and shattered into pieces, but as long as it's still beating a person can still move.
Everyone was born original; don't die a copy.
You're human. Act like one.
The sorting hat says that I belong in Slytherinr!
Said Slytherin, "We'll teach just those whose ancestry is purest."
Slytherin students are typically cunning and hungry for power. Important members include Draco Malfoy (Harry's nemesis), Professor Severus Snape (head of Slytherin), and Lord Voldemort.
Take the most scientificever created.
Stupid sayings that make me laugh like crazy:
An apple an day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
If at first you don't suceed, skydiving isn't for you.
Change is inevitable... Except from a vending machine.
I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous.
Join the dark side, we have cookies.
I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.
All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.
It doesn't matter what temperature the room is. It's always room-temperature.
They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it everytime I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?
WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls...and polls...people...and off the occasional cliff
I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do, kill me?
It's always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I've found it?
Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...
I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.
If guys had periods they would brag about the size of their tampons.
I met some crazy people. They made me their leader!
Sarcasism is your bodys natural defense against stupidity.
That, my children, is called a wall. But beware, the wall is solid. Yes be afraid! Be very afraid, for we cannot walk through it! Believe me children, for I have attempted this many times before.
People used to call me names, but thats ok, they're dead now.
At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote.
The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.
There are three kinds of people: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who don't know what the heck is happening.
I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and she got away.
I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless
Welcome to the dark side. Are you surprised we lied about the cookies?
Come to the light side. We have PUDDING!
Welcome to the light side. Heh, sorry, but we ran out of pudding.
The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.
I'm not suffering from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Some say the glass is half empty, others half full, all's I want to know is who the Dark Forest is drinking my water!
You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid...
What is another word for "thesaurus"?
Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is.
You always get whats coming to you; unless it gets lost in the mail.
Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is.
The trouble with real life is that there is no background music
If you try to fail and succeed, which one did you do?
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
How come when you mix water with sugar, you get glue and then when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go?
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer hole and die.
Hell is full of musical amateurs
There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line
Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking
The below statement is true
The above statement is false
Don't make me angry, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies
Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy? Take him into a round room and tell him to sit in a corner.
Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later.
God must love stupid people...he made so many
There is no great genius without a mixture of madness
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
You, you, and you panic. The rest of you follow me.
PMS: Every woman's legal right to be a bitch.
I have a dream and in it, something eats you.
Its sad your own mom dresses you like that.
Everyone is beautiful on the inside. If you think bones and guts are beautiful.
Its always funny until someone gets hurt. Then its hysterical
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems
Looking for a perfect girl? Go buy yourself a barbie doll.
I know KUNG-FU and 42 other dangerous words
Quick, whats the number for 9-1-1?
By the time you finished reading this you'll realize you just wasted 5 seconds of your life
Hi! I'm human. What're you?
Have you considered suing your brain for non-support?
I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass!
I may not be perfect but at least I'm confident
A friend would call you a retard but a best friend would call you one and act like one with you.
Boy break hearts so why don't we break their necks?
We are the people our parents warned us about!
MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men!
In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.
Light travels faster than sound. That is why...some people seem bright until you hear them speak.
When someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown about it, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap outta them.
People like you are the reason we have middle fingers.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Hmm...I wonder...
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand for chocolate!
I didn't say it was your fault, I just said that I'm going to blame you.
Evening news is where they tell you 'good evening' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
I'm not always a dork- sometimes I'm asleep.
Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
I'm not insensitive, I just don't care.
The only reason why I'm here is because heaven wouldn't have me and hell was afraid I'd take over.
A good girl is just a bad girl who's never been caught.
Who doesn't love comebacks that make the other person sound stupid?
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.
VERY FEW PERSONAL PROBLEMS CAN'T BE SOLVED THROUGH THE SUBTLE APPLICATION OF HIGH EXPLOSIVES!
Taste the rainbow- eat crayons.
There are three types of people, those who can count and those who can't.
History lesson: Dinosaurs didn't go extinct, Barney came and they all commited suicide.
I ran with scissors- AND LIVED!
Slinky Escalator = Endless fun!
Last night I lay in bed and look at the sky, and thought: I'm too old for glow in the dark stickers.
Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy off of.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
I'm not a complete idioit- some part are missing.
Sometimes I wonder, "Why is that frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.
I see regular people- RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
Conciousness: That annoying time between naps.
A secret admirer is only a stalker with a stationary.
This is Bob. Bob likes you. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob.
We're all gonna die, but I got a helmet.
If you don't like my driving, stay off the sidewalk.
You say phsyco like it's a bad thing...
Stupidity killed the cat, curiousity was framed.
People are like slinkies; basically useless, but ever so fun to watch fall down stairs.
I find 'good morning' a contradiciton of terms.
CUTE BUT PHSYCO- THINGS EVEN OUT.
If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em.
Hell issued a restraining order on me... Oh the fun to be had!
You're just jelaus that the voices only talk to me.
What you might call stupidity, I call selective understanding.
I would be more scared if you were aiming for the court next to me.
If you're color bling, eating sweets must be a completely different experience. "Come on skittles, give me red... LEMON DAMNIT!"
LOVE YOUR ENEMIES... IT PISSES THEM OFF.
I'm not so good with the advice, can I intrest you in a sarcastic comment?
The voices in my head may not be real, but they sure have good ideas...
Ooops! Did my sacasm hurt your feelings?
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
One day we'll look back on this, laugh nevously, and change the subject.
I intend to live forever... So far so good.
Embrace your inner rebel- DON'T SIT UP STRAIGHT!
One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!
Boys are like trees, they take 50 years to grow up.
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is GOING somewhere.
I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.
You don't like me, well it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.
So what if we act like imature idiots? We're having fun.
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh,he just took a wrong turn,got lost,and is to stubborn to ask directions.
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?
You're a speacial kind of stupid, aren't you?
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
God created man-THEN had a better idea!
There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled
Old enough to know better, young enough to do it again.
Sure I have super powers! I just don't wanna show you.
You're awesome! But when the zombies come, I'm tripping you.
I'NOT WEIRD... JUST PLOTTING...
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
An alarm clock is a device that wakes you up just in time to go back to sleep.
I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids.
Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
A good lawyer knows the law; a clever one takes the judge to lunch.
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
A good essay is 10 inspiration, 15 perspiration, and 75 desperation
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
I can resist everything except temptation.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
Therapist = The/rapist...scary thought
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
There's nothing wrong with talking to random objects, its when they start to talk back that you need to worry.
Who ever said that words never hurt obviously has never got hit by a dictionary.
You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
Trouble defies the law of gravity. It's easier to pick up than to drop.
Procrastination is the greatest laborsaving invention of all time.
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough.
I don't obsess, I think intensly.
Smile; it makes others wonder what you're up to.
When I go, I want to die peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried to slam a revolving door.
Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried.
SHIT HAPPENS... BUT MOSTLY TO ME, SO DON'T WORRY.
You mess with me, you mess with a trailer park full of drunken lunatics. With guns.
Life was so easy when all boys had cooties.
I teach you to lie cheat and steal. And the moment I'm gone you stand in line.
Do you ever wonder where eraser bits go??
Silence is golden. Ductape is Silver.
Not all of those who wander are lost. - J. R. R. Tolkien
I don't have a short attention sp- O h h h h, look a kitty;
Chaos, panic, and pandemonium. My work here is done.
I ran out of sick days, so I called in dead.
You always said tomorow would be a better day. I guess tomorow never came.
Did it hurt when I fell from heaven?...No but it hurt when they clipped my wings for being the devil.
Why does a Rose represent Love, when a rose always dies?
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
There are three sides of an arguement -- your side, my side and the right side.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
The man who smiles when things go wrong, has thought of someone to blame it on.
Behind every sucessful man, is a surprised woman.
You have a right to your opinions. I just don't want to hear them.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
If at first you don't suceed, destroy all the evidence that you tried.
I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down. No problem.
Violence isn't the answer. It's the question and the answer is yes!
Procrastinate now, don't put it off.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking.
Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they'll all think your on drugs.
All Men Are Animals; Some Just Make Better Pets.
The only reason that I talk to myself is because that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, and all the kings’ horses and all the kings’ men... ate scrambled eggs for 2 weeks.
No, I don't have PMS. I just really hate you.
There are 2 types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead.
Everyone Has A Photographic Memory. Some Just Don’t Have Film.
Everyday is a gift, thats why they call it the present.
I have the answer in my head. i just havent found it yet.
Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it.
Reality is an illusion created by lack of alcohol.
Ashes to Ashes Dust-to-Dust, Life is short so Party We must!
Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
They say "guns dont kill people, people kill people.' Well, i think the gun helps, cuz if you just stood ther and yelled BANG I dont think you'd kill too many people.
So, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?
Save the earth. it's the only planet with chocolate.
I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind! But not my brain. I need that
I live in my own little world. But it's ok, they know me there.
Education is important. school however, is another matter.
All right, all right. If you have to tell her the truth, at least wait until the timings right... and thats what deathbeds are for.
When in doubt, make up words!
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, the rest of our lives they tell us to just sit down and shut up.
A postitve attitude may not solve all your problems, but it annoys enough people to make it worth it!
Before you critisize someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way you'll be a mile away and have their shoes!
The statistics of insanty is that 1 of every 4 people have a mental illness. Look at your three best friends, if they're ok, then it's you!
When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.
A wise man once said, 'Ask a girl'.
There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...
Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.
Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.
A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.
I've heard that its possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it.
Money can't buy happiness... But it sure makes misery easier to live with...
If you learn from your mistakes, then why ain't I a genius?!
Buckle up... it makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car.
Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young.
Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.
I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.
I am nobody... nobody is perfect... I must be perfect then...
I hear voices, and they don't like you.
If you want breakfast in bed...sleep in the kitchen.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Forgive your enemies, just don't forget their names.
Friends or best friends
FRIENDS:never ask anything to eat or drink
BEST FRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food
FRIENDS:Call your parents Mr. Mrs and grandma and grandpa
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD GRAMPS AND GRANDPA
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail
BEST FRIENDS: would be in the cell next to you screaming at the top of their lungs: "THAT WAS TOTALLY AWESOME!! LET'S DO IT AGAIN!!"
FRIENDS: Never seen you cry
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when you're not down anymore
FRIENDS: helps you when you fall
BEST FRIENDS: takes your ungraceful, muddy photo and posts it on the school's bulletin board
FRIENDS: Ask you to write down you number
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "my bad .. here's a tissue"
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what everyone else is doing
BESTFRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's asses that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door
BEST FRIENDS: Would walk right in and say,"IM HOME"
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away when they think you've had enough
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,"Girl drink the rest of that you know we dont waste!!"
FRIENDS: Are through school
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life
FRIENDS: Will ignore this
BESTFRIENDS: Will repost this shit
So...um, the stories are just down there. Yep, right there.
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