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Ok now,What's up, people call me kyle or Ky(don't call me Ky), then there's Chewbacca and vanilla thunder. I'm 16 years old and I love to read books. I have read over 112 stories,ranging from comic books to movies. My favorite fan fiction to read is the ''Hunger Games. If you want to you can P.M. me for anything random.
This is my account on FictionPress. and to all who read my stories please review.
This is from my friend IzzyTheNinja:
This year, we were assigned a speech on anything we wanted. Since I was leaving the school district, I decided to share my story, and do my speech on bullying. In the speech, I put that in fourth grade, I tried to commit suicide. At the end, I got the reactions of several people. "I'm scared of you now..." and "It's true. It was the scariest day of our class's life." Well. The second one really made me mad. The girl was worried about how she had been scared. Hello!? What about me!? She didn't even care though. Another reason I was mad at her was because the whole reason I had done it was because of what they'd done to me. How much they'd bullied me. Now, I was sharing it because of what the second class had done to me. I can't tell you how disappointed I was when I heard her people say that. I hope that sharing this will spread that many people are bullied. I am counting on you, to help me rid the world of this awful habit we humans have. Help me give the people who are being bullied a voice.
Here is a couple of links to the funnyest Harry Potter spoofs ever. WARNING: A LOT OF BAD LANGAUGE, AND SOME SEXUAL HUMOR.
Here are some brain teasers(answers are at the bottom)
If a dime and a quarter were on the Empire State Building, which would jump off first?
If a rooster lays an egg on a roof then what side does it roll down.
How many of each animal did moses take on the boat.
How does an orphan cross the street to get to his parents.
If a man were born in Greece, raised in Spain, came to America, and died in San Francisco, what is he?
Which is correct, "Nine and five is thirteen," or "Nine and five are thirteen?"
The dime, because it has less sense (cents).
Roosters don't lay eggs.
It wasn't moses it was Noah.
Orphans don't have parents.
Neither. Nine and five equals fourteen.
Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27,2006,because it was" too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientists likings.If you think Pluto should be a planet,copy and paste this to your profile.LONG LIVE PLUTO!!
girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Girl:Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Girl: Choose-me or your life?
Boy: my life.
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after and says..
The reason you don't cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason why I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
Now... make a wish.Wish REALLY hard!! WISH WISH WISH WISH your wish has just been received.Copy and paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and... Your wish will be granted.
Girls don't realize these things.
But most of all
Girls repost this if you know a girl who did this.
Do it one by one,don't look ahead!
1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.
2. Which is your favorite color out of read,black,blue,green,or yellow.
3. Your first initial?
4. Your month of birth?
5. Which color do you like more,black or white?
6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
7. Your favorite number?
8. Do you like California or Florida more?
9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?
10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).
Are you done?
If so scroll down
(don't cheat- -)
1. You are completely in love with this person
2. If you choose
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are Conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love.
Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.
3. If your initial is:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom.
S-Z: You like to help other and your love life looks very good.
4. If you were born in:
Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
Apr-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but memories will last forever.
July-Sept: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good.
Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.
5. If you choose...
Black: Your life will take off in a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides with you and would do anything for you, but may not realize it.
6. This person is your best friend.
7. This is how many close friends you will have in a lifetime.
8. If you choose
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laid back person.
9. If you choose...
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love.And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.
10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come before your next birthday.
If you are pro gay rights, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are pro abortion, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think racism is wrong, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think hitting women is wrong, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think twilight SUCKS, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think Justin Beiber is a MEGA-DOUCHE, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think it's weird that Percy Jackson and Annebeth Chase are together (BECAUSE THEIR COUSINS), copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are against bullying, copy and paste this EVERYWERE!!
101 Things not to do at Hogwarts.
1. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
2. I will not sing “We’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz” when being sent to the Headmaster’s office.
3. I will not play poker or bridge with Professor Trelawney’s tarot deck.
4. Seamus Finnegan is not “after me Lucky Charms.”
5. I will not draw mustaches, glasses, scars, devil horns, or other paraphernalia on the paintings in Hogwarts while the subjects are sleeping. They do not find it amusing.
6. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
7. Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not count for extra credit.
8. I will not change gravity on the Hogwarts grounds. My fellow students do not need to develop extra muscles and jumping into an orbit is not funny.
9. I am not the Wicked Witch of the West.
10. I will not ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.
11. I will not follow potion instructions in reverse order “to see what happens.”
12. I will not walk up to a Hufflepuff and ask if he/she is going to huff and puff and blow my house down.
13. I will not accept anything edible from a Weasley.
14. Hogwarts is not in the flight path of any Muggle airport, and Muggle airplanes cannot crash into Hogwarts. That being the case, there is no need to have first years standing on the spires of Hogwarts waving torches screaming "Go away, go away!!"
15. I will not ask for advice from Peeves on how to wreak havoc.
16. Making rumors about Harry and Draco's secret love life is not funny and it will stop soon.
17. I will not suggest to Fred and George that they invent and sell Anti-Anti-Cheating Charm quills.
18. I will not tell first years that the best way to study is to stay up all night balancing your textbook on your head, as gravity will cause the information to sink through the skull and into the brain.
19. I will not point to Harry Potter’s scar and ask if his Voldy senses are tingling.
20. I will not organize a Junior Death Eaters Training Camp at Hogwarts. I will not hand out medals for "Hexing Harry Potter,” "Endangering a teacher’s life by jinxing,” or “Throwing a person from the Astronomy Tower.” I will not send the latter to Professor Snape and make him an honorary member.
21. I will not add "according to the prophecy" at the end of all my sentences to raise my Divination grade.
22. I will not refer to the Accio charm as "The Force.”
23. I will not push Professor Flitwick from his stack of books claiming I need them for my studies.
24. I will not spike my best friend’s pumpkin juice and tell him to go hit on Professor McGonagall.
25. When asked a question by a teacher I will not inform them that the answer is protected by a Fidelius Charm and I am not the Secret Keeper.
26. I will not hiss at Harry Potter instead of talking.
27. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.
28. I will not organize a witch burning, even if I have been assigned to do a presentation on Muggle history in my Muggle Studies class.
29. I will not tell Oliver Wood that Quidditch as been permanently canceled.
30. I will not bewitch Percy Weasley's prefect badges to yell "I'm in love with myself!" every time it senses movement.
31. The Easter Bunny is not Jesus’ Animagus form.
32. I will not sign up the Great Lake at Hogwarts for the Summer Olympics swimming competitions.
33. I will not convince first years that the new password to Gryffindor Tower is "Petrificus Totalus" and must be recited with their wands pointed at themselves.
34. I will not give a "Chosen by whom, actually?" shirt to Harry Potter for Christmas.
35. I will not refer to Aragog as “Charlotte.”
36. Crucifixes do not ward off Slytherins.
37. I will not jump up and yell "VOLDERMORT, RUN!" in the middle of a D.A. meeting.
38. If Death Eaters attack Hogsmeade, I will not point at the Dark Mark and shout “To the Batmobile, Robin!”
39. I will not tell everyone that Draco Malfoy started the Hug A Muggle Campaign.
40. I will not use magic to change test questions into those I can answer.
41. I will not tell Ronald Weasley that his sister was caught snogging any of the following: 1) Draco Malfoy, 2) Any other Slytherin, 3) Michael Corner, 4) Any other Ravenclaw, 5) Zacharias Smith, 6) Any other Hufflepuff, 7) Neville Longbottom, 8) Any other Gryffindor.
42. Asking Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger "When's the wedding?" is only funny a few times.
43. I will not lock the Gryffindors and Slytherins in a room and take bets on who will come out alive.
44. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.
45. I will not dress in long black capes with hoods. Draco Malfoy tried this and almost peed his pants. I must learn from his experience.
46. I will not tell Professor Binns that he is dead and a) needs to move on, or b) get a life.
47. I will not change the speed of light to 30 mph and enjoy watching my fellow students and the teachers find out about the miracles of relativity.
48. I will not start a betting pool on the fate of this year’s Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, as it is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.
49. I will not hand out shirts that say “Potter 6, Voldemort 0.”
50. Astronomy class will not cause me to be abducted by aliens.
51. I will not convince the first years that "Death Eaters" is the name for a cookery club specialized in experimental dishes.
52. I will not start a howler chain-letter saying "Your life will be cursed for seven years if you don’t send this to 10 fellow students within 15 minutes."
53. I will not melt if water is poured over me.
54. I will not bewitch my cauldron to change the freezing-point of water. I will not ask Professor Snape why my potion is freezing while the cauldron is heated. Nor will I point out that I doubted from the beginning that he would be able to sort that out for me.
55. I will not tell the first years on the Hogwarts Express that they have free choice of house if they swim over the lake.
56. Professor Flitwick’s first name is not Yoda.
57. It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory, no matter how wicked the result would be.
58. Sneaking slugs into Ron Weasley's food is not funny.
59. I will not tell Professor Snape that we the student body have been discussing his role in unfortunate events involving the late headmaster and have deemed him a miserable and pathetic excuse of a human being.
60. If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
61. I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do in front of people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover.
62. I will not hang up a sign saying "Reserved for Draco Malfoy" at the girls’ bathroom door.
63. I am not allowed to ask pureblood students things like, “If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?”
64. I will not tell Dobby that Harry Potter's one greatest desire is for a pit bull named Ripper.
65. I will not tell Professor McGonagall about the great Muggle enhancer out there called botox.
66. "42" is not the answer to every question on the O.W.L.s.
67. I will not set Ravenclaws on the task of calculating the exact value of pi.
68. Getting the Sorting Hat drunk only makes his song funny the first time.
69. Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.
70. I will not ask Professor Flitwick how Santa Claus is doing.
71. Asking “How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?” and walking away is only funny the first time.
72. I will not ink my owl's feet, have it walk across parchment, and sell the results as cheat sheets for Ancient Runes, even though Crabbe and Goyle keep falling for it.
73. I will not change the speed of sound so that communication by owl is quicker than talking to each other.
74. I will not point out to Professor Sinistra that Astrology needs to be rewritten as Pluto is no longer a planet.
75. I will not encourage bungee jumping from the Astronomy Tower, nor do it myself, as it is disrespectful of Professor Dumbledore’s memory.
76. I will not tell Gryffindor first years that sneaking into the Slytherin dormitory is a rite of passage to truly become a Gryffindor.
77. Ravenclaws do not find a sign saying "The library is closed for an indefinite time period" amusing in any sense.
78. I will not tell Professor Snape he needs to go to his "Happy Place."
79. If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-De-Dee: The Voldemort Musical," I will do so under a nom-de-plume.
80. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that my teacup says she's lying.
81. I will not imitate Steve Irwin while in Care of Magical Creatures class, even if I have the best fake Australian accent.
82. I will not enchant the telescopes on the Astronomy Tower to display non-existent constellations during O.W.L. exams.
83. My headmaster's name is Albus Dumbledore, not "Gandalf."
84. Underwater broom riding does not distinguish the master from the layman. It is not required to become member of any Quidditch team.
85. I will not use Legilimency to get the right answers from my teachers.
86. I will not use Legilimency to get what my fellow students think are the right answers.
87. I will not psycho-analyze Professor Trelawney, as it clouds her Inner Eye.
88. "To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.
89. I will not put a paper sign on Firenze's back saying "Pony Rides: 3 Sickles.”
90. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not "an extra credit project for Herbology."
91. Neil Gaiman is not spying on us.
92. I will not point out to the house-elves how much sushi could be made of the giant squid.
93. I will not suggest that we read coffee beans in Divination instead of tea leaves for a bit of a change.
94. I will not tell the teachers that they cannot assign homework, as we do not actually go home during the school year to do it.
95. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date for the Yule Ball.
96. I will not make fun of Hufflepuffs because their house colors make them look like bees.
97. I will not use silencing charms on my Prefects.
98. I will not to conjure the words "DRINK ME" onto the vial of any potion in Professor Snape's classroom.
99. I will not add a spoonful of sugar to each potion I make. Mary Poppins was not a brewer of potions.
100. Stealing first-years' clothing and then tossing it into and around the Whomping Willow is highly frowned upon.
101. I will not tell Harry Potter that he is fictional and that everything he has worked for is nothing more than a couple of best selling novels and loads of bad fanfiction.
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
If you're a Demigod copy this into your profile and sign your name
xXthe shadow huntressxX
The New Ace of Spies
You know you live in 2009 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or my space
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) and you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.