Author has written 3 stories for Naruto, Minecraft, Doctor Who, and Looking for Group.
Name: WAFFLEZ MAN!!! A.K.A: UNPREDICTABILITY INCARNATE A.K.A: BAT SHIT LOCO!!!
Sex: Yes please! (Just Kidding!)
Gender: Won't change in my lifetime
Location: Classified as it might alert the spies to my presence
Age: Slowly increasing
Description: See Above
I Have Started A New Story. It Is A Series Of One-shots About Minecraft. They Were Written By Me And My Friends And I Posted Them Because I Am The Only One With A Fanfiction.net Account. Read It And Enjoy!
I HAVE GOTTEN PERMISSION FROM SAGE OF SEALS TO USE HIS STORY FORMAT FOR A NEW CHALLENGE!!! INTRODUCING... THE NARUTO READS... CHALLENGE!!! IF ANY AUTHOR WANTS TO DO A NARUTO READS FOR ONE OF THEIR STORIES, THEY JUST HAVE TO PM ME AND I WILL SET THEIR STORY UP IN MY C2 ALLONG WITH WHICHEVER STORY THEY ARE READING (I.E. NARUTO READS RETRIBUTION AND RETRIBUTION) I WILL ALSO ADD THEIR USERNAME, THE NARUTO READS NAME, AND THE ORIGINAL STORY TITLE.
NARUTO READS... CHALLENGE LIST:
Naruto Reads Naruto by Sage Of Seals
-One Man Team by Ackdam
-The Night The House of Cards Was Built by drakensis
-Yet Again With A Little Extra Help by Third Fang
Naruto Reads Retribution & Retribution by RagingDragon04
Fanfiction by Jade B. Raven
Here is a request to anyone who would like to accept.
A NARUTO BLEACH CROSSOVER WITH A LITTLE BIT OF POKEMON
FANFIC STORY REQUEST
I am requesting a 2 part story to be written on FF with the first part being a Naruto/Pokémon Crossover titled "Narumon" or something along those lines. The setting will be in the Naruto universe with all of the normal characters in Naruto. The only difference from normal will be that there are Pokémon in the Narutoverse. Ninjas are trained to catch Pokémon by weakening them with jutsus and then catching them with special tri-pronged kunai (think like the Yondaime Hokage's Hirashin kunai). After the ninja trains with and eventually bonds with the Pokémon, they can use jutsus with the Pokémon or the Pokémon can do the jutsus through the ninja (ninja supplies the chakra, Pokémon does the jutsu). If someone writes this story then all I want is the ending of the first part to be with Sasuke killing Naruto at the Valley of the End and then Naruto waking up in the Soul Society and told that he will be trained as a Soul Reaper. The second part will be titled "Narumon and The Soul Reapers" or something like that. It will be placed after a time skip following Naruto getting killed. There will have to be some flashbacks to tell about his time in the Soul Society. This one will have Naruto returning from the dead and finding himself back in the Valley of the End right after Sasuke ran off (like the Tsukuyomi, where his entire training as a Soul Reaper was crammed into one second while it felt like years). Naruto's mission them becomes to track down and kill Orochimaru, Sasuke, Kabuto, and all of the members of Akatsuki. As long as the stories include those key things, it doesn't matter what else is in there. I don't care about the pairing as long as there is no yaoi or yuri as I'm not fond of either, it can be a harem if you want but if it is then you have to include at least Anko, Ino, and Hinata, in whatever order you want and you can add anyone else after them. The categories I would like to include humor at least, both parts have to be at least 30 chapters each, and the rating should be either T or M. Also, if possible, get in as much Sasuke, Sakura, Kakashi, and Council bashing as possible please. Other than that it's all up to whoever chooses to write this. Have Fun!
Anyone who has seen my newest story Naruto the Mokuton Jumpher, can participate in the vote.
I got these next 2 things off of FerPeinRikudou's Profile page thnx FerPeinRikudou!
║║║║╔╗║╔╗║║║╠╗╔╣╔╗║║║Put this on your
║║║║╚╝║╚╝╣║║║║║║║║║╚╝page if you love
When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.
-Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when Chuck Norris is going to kill you.
-Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live.
-Chuck Norris doesn't have a bank account. He just tells the bank how much he needs
-If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down
-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
-Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
-The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
-Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
-Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
-The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
-Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.
-Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all died and are in Heaven. Each of them hope to occupy the seat next to God. God asks Vin Diesel why he thinks he should have the seat and Vin replies, "I believe... I should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my toughness and pride." Arnie says, "I believe... that I should be the one sitting next to you because of all my achievements." God then turns to Chuck Norris, who replies with, "I believe... you are sitting in my seat."
-When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
- Chuck Norris once survived a suicide bombing. He was the bomber.
-Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
-Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
-Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
-Little kids enjoy lighting ants on fire with magnifying glasses. Chuck Norris enjoys lighting little kids on fire with ants. Scientists have yet to find out how this feat is achieved.
-If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.
-We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't believe in magic.
-Chuck Norris once went on Celebrity Jeopardy and answered, "Who is Chuck Norris?" to every question. It was the first and only time in Jeopardy history that a contestant answered every single question right.
-At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris
-A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
-Chuck Norris has to sort his laundry into three loads: darks, whites, and bloodstains.
-If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris.
-Geico saved 15 by switching to Chuck Norris.
-If you see Chuck Norris crying he will grant you a wish, if your wish is dying.
-They say that lightning never strikes the same place twice. Neither does Chuck Norris. He doesn't have to.
-Water boils faster when Chuck Norris watches it.
-Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.
-The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... The only thing fear has to fear is Chuck Norris.
-The most effective form of suicide known to man is to type "Chuck Norris" into Google and hit "I'm Feeling Lucky!”
-Chuck Norris never gets brain freeze. Slurpees know when to back the fuck off.
-Chuck Norris refers to himself in fourth person.
-Switzerland isn't really neutral. They just haven't figured out what side Chuck Norris is on yet.
Chuck Norris doesn't give Christmas presents. If you live to see Christmas, that is your Christmas present from Chuck.
-Chuck Norris ends every relationship with "Its not me, its you".
-Chuck Norris was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would be faster to run.
-Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
-Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
-Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
-Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.\
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE:
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered for having cultivated such valuable lessons as: knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust, his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
100 Rules of Anime
The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural
phenomenon that seem to appear in various forms in all sorts of anime. The original
intent was an effort to classify these incidents into a list of "laws" that
explained how Anime physics are different from our own (real?) world. It is our hope
that you find them useful to studying Anime, or at the very least, worth a good
#1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity- The normal laws of physics do not apply.
#2 - Law of Differential Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, is
thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.
Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit
the ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium.
#3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics- In space, loud
sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.
#4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion- In space, constant thrust
equals constant velocity.
#5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion- The larger a
mechanical device is, the faster it moves, Armoured Mecha are the fastest objects
known to human science.
#6 - Law of Temporal Variability- Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero
whenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends and
lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.
#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality- "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys" both die in one of
two ways - either so quick they don’t even see it coming, OR it’s a long drawn out
affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human
existence or why the toast always lands butter side down. NOTE: Sometimes, Anime
heroes or villains never really die! In these rare cases they were a clone or cyborg
and the real hero/villain’s suspiciously missing in "Malletspace", or something.
#8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality- It takes some time for bad guys to die...
regardless of physical damage. Even when the "Bad Guys" are killed so quickly they
don’t even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is
attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.
#9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis- Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are
depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color
(usually red or white).
#10- Law of Dramatic Multiplicity- Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a
"Good Guy" kicks the "Bad Guy" in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3
#11- Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary- Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary- Large cities are the most explosive substances known to
human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities,
sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".
#12- Law of Phlogistatic Emission- Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.
#13- Law of Energetic Emission- There is always an energy build up (commonly
referred to as an energy "bulge") before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because
of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the
Law of Inherent Combustibility.
#14- Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude- The destructive potential of any
object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass.
First Corollary- Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also
known as the A-Ko phenomenon.
#15- Law of Inexhaustibility- No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of
course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.
#16- Laws of Inverse Accuracy- The accuracy of a "Good Guy" when operating any form
of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the
"Bad Guys" when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot
decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A "Good Guy" in a
drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and
several battalions of "Bad Guys" firing on a "Good Guy" standing alone in the middle
of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary- The more "Bad Guys" there are, the less likely they will
hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is faced with insurmountable odds,
the "Bad Guys" line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a
single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is actually hit by enemy fire, it is
in a designated "Good Guy Area", usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm,
which restricts the "Good Guy" from doing anything more strenuous than driving,
firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex
martial arts maneuvers.
Fourth Corollary- The more times the "Bad Guy" fires, the fewer times he
#17- Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability- Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The
Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs
to get out more.)
#18- Law of Hemoglobin Capacity- the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood,
sometimes more, under high pressure.
#19- Law of Demonic Consistency- Demons and other supernatural creatures have at
least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not
unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. Also, acid has been known to work
just as well...
#20- Law of Militaristic Unreliability- Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and
large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped
and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a
First Corollary- Whenever a single war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goes
up against an entire army, the army always loses.
#21- Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t...
#22 -Law of Inconsequential Undetectability- People never notice the little
things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.
#23- Law of Juvenile Intellectuality- Children are smarter than adults. And almost
twice as annoying.
#24- Law of Americanthromorphism- Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles,
either as a really nasty skinny "Bad Guy" or a big stupid "Good Guy".
First Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb
Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line
Second Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the American
translators are the American editors and censors.
Third Corollary- Canadians are usually portrayed as smart, strong, handsome
#25- Law of Mandibular Proportionality- The size of a person’s mouth is directly
proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.
#26- Law of Feline Mutation- Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
1) be female.
2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation.
3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any.
#27- Law of Conservation of Firepower- Any powerful weapon capable of
destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and
used as a last resort.
#28- Law of Technological User-Benevolence- The formal training required to operate
a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.
#29- Law of Melee Luminescence- Any being displaying extremely high levels of
martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing
aura. This aura is usually blue for "Good Guys" and red for "Bad Guys". This is
attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.
#30- Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism- All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are
hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.
#31- Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum is
considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or
#32- Law of Follicular Permanence- Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and
can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical
abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s
hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!
#34- Law of Probable Attire- Clothing in anime follows certain predictable
guidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of
whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive
amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off
somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female’s clothes,
then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the
Gratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably
wear long cloaks that don’t hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability)- All anime characters are resistant to
extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability)- Bikinis render the wearer
invulnerable to any form of damage.
Third Corollary (Probable Attire permanence)- The clothing on the hero is
indestructible. Their capes, robes, (and if they are girls,) skirts, dresses, bows,
or any loose clothing will just flap when they are in the middle of a fire or ice
attack... Unless it's a hentai. It is believed that the clothes are made out of
Anime Character hair. (re. Laws 32 & 48)
#35- Law of Musical Omnipotence- Any character capable of musical talent (singing,
playing an instrument, etc. Is automatically capable of doing much more "simple"
things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so
on... especially if they’ve never attempted these things before.
#36- Law of Quintupular Agglutination- Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "Good
Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic
positions, which are:
1) The Hero/Leader
2) His Girlfriend
3) His Best Friend/Rival
4) A Hulking Brute
5) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
1) Extreme Coolness
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible Irritation
#37- Law of Extradimensional Capacitance- All anime females have an
extrasdimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from
which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment’s notice. This mysterious
dimension is commonly called "Malletspace".
First Corollary (AKA The Hammer Rule)- The most common item stored is a
heavy mallet, costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.
#38- Law of Hydrostatic Emission- Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is
because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released
at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in
the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are
actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is
because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the
back of the head. When extremely stressed , embarrassed, or worried, this sweat
gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.
#39- Law of Inverse Attraction- Success at finding suitable mates is inversely
proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the
less you get and vice-versa.
First Corollary- Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real
#40- Law of Nasal Sanguination- When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get
erections, they get nosebleeds. No one’s sure why this is, though... the current
theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see
Law #38 above). Females don’t get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush
along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.
#41- Law of Xylolaceration- Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal
swords, if not sharper.
#42- Law of Juvenile Omnipotence- Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it
done in half the time and twice the angst.
#43- Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia- There is no Law #43.
#44- Law of Nominative Clamovocation- the likelihood of success and damage done by a
martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect).
#45- Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis- Regardless of how long or involved the
transformation sequence or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"
witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to
#46- Law of Flimsy Incognition- Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy
mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.
#47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some
unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or
spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind
the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.
#48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or
burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later,
your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect").
First Corollary- When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame,
wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s)
to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut and
letting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be in
part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44.
#49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will
get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform
magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as
the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor") This is because he always deserves it, and will
help him to cope in today’s society. (>Sniff Sniff
#50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are
under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY
small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter).
Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression.
#51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws
44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and
the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"
witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack
are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon Slave
52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters
(usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or
perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC!! The reasons
for this are:
1) They forgot that the person is telepathic.
2) They just don’t give a damn.
The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are:
1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else.
2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic.
3) They just don’t give a damn.
#53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.
#54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald,
wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits.
First Corollary- If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid,
etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying
pan or something.
#55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and
withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power
weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.
#56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons
will never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late.
First Corollary- All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome
which require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use
it against the "Good Guy".
Second Corollary- No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior military
device without one of the following events occurring:
a) The control device being broken.
The control device being taken by the "Good Guy".
c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just
"fooled" by the "Good Guy".
d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device.
#57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of
the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman.
#58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance,
resulting in two outcomes:
a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me
A negative charge will result in the
#59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition
available (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate
when compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7
for speaker pods)
#60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s
attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them.
(Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto OVA have a seemingly endless supply of willing
girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot
couldn’t get a date despite or because of their constant attempts.)
#61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an
awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract,
except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single
drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11.
#62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years
is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.
#63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the
few... of even the one.
#64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be
funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall
to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall.
(The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)
#65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the
male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually
helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can
sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the
guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. (see law #49)
#66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation-
First Corollary- If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater
than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse
coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least
500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping".
Second Corollary- The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to
normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also
inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all
actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot
from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb.
of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits a
mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing
this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential.
#67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the
Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be
increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does
not happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads
to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will always be offset by
an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient.
#68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the
control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through
means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis.
First Corollary- Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which
clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant
Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at
will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and
lethality of the maneuver.
Second Corollary- It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or
disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not
always apply to "Bad Guy" characters, or "Good Guy" characters in situations where
the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of
Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.
#69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any
situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding
increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usually
come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in
Ambient Dramatic Tension.
#70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a
survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly
and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often
referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain
activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in
#71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male
character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at
another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an
interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of
Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. (see Laws # 37, 49, and
#72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head
shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the
wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages
will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.
#73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to
a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking
sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the
edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly
past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime.
#74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When
faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime
characters will either:
a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws e.g., slowdown and
Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a
position to ravish beautiful girls, or
c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.
#75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can
summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.
#76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a
secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around
him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?
#77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick
strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the
elements, etc. (see Laws 32 & 48)
#78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST
capable of dealing with it.
#79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial
arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with
your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just
doesn’t work in real life...
#80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is
male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a
shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain
is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole
(horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.
#81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if
you’re normally a klutz.
#82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a
Hentai anime is to start having sex.
#83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become
First Corollary- Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the
hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he
is wrong and will invariably be toastied.
#84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed
by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could
accomplish... but his old teacher did!
#85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire
straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (see
Laws #67, 69, and 84)
#86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in
beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won
against the "Good Guy" (because they’re Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they
tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack.
Usually this results in:
a) The hero escaping.
Clean-up for the underlings.
c) The villain getting toastied.
#87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon.
#88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have
the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water,
rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling
themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up.
#89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large
penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the
size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...
#90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following
1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples.
2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas.
#91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and
up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive
#92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance
while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them
#93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at
least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death!
First Corollary- If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a
Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the
male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following
him around is there because:
1) It’s his girlfriend’s.
2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so.
3) Chicks will dig him more.
Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by
a cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal,
real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal
that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because:
1) It’s her boyfriend’s.
2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so.
3) It makes her look cool.
#94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability
that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like
bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though
they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the
Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.
#95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any
human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...")
First Corollary- Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime
girls eventually get into it & begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is,
but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the
skin of the tentacle...
Second Corollary- Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never
experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also
known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect).
Third Corollary- Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/human
relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again.
#96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other,
sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage
begins to occur.
First Corollary- A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it
from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko
#97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that
enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being
immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect".)
#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or
spaceborne, have the following crew members:
1) The captain
2) His Lieutenant
3) Various female technical staff
4) A hotshot pilot
5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not)
6) The Doctor
7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not)
Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include:
1) Extreme coolness/luck
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible irritation
4) Extreme cuteness
5) Irresponsible drunkenness
7) Emotionless (Idiots.)
#99- Law of Sparklies- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest
appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said
character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love.
No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At
least, Marker Apenname seems to think so...
#100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen.
The previous was created by Insane Advocate and his two friends. Aswell as various internet sources inorder to help others understand the things that happen in anime. So to help others understand anime affter you have read this please copy and paste this to your profile thank-you.
If you have insanely annoying siblings copy and paste this on your profile
If you like being utterly random copy and paste this on your profile ( Sometimes i do some times i don't...)
If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventalated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile
If you love Naruto so much you wish the characters were real so you coud be one of them, copy and paste this on your profile
If you have ever had an arguent with yourself and LOST, copy and paste this on you profile.
If you want to smack the living daylights out of Sasuke for leaving Sakura copy an paste this on your profile!
If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking copy and paste this on your profile
If you have ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes copy this on your profile
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this on your profile
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you were going to say it copy this on your profile
If you have ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head against a desk for no reason copy this on your profile
If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the conversation copy this on your profile
If you hate those mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy and paste this on your profile
If you have been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing copy this on your profile
If you have ever crashed into a wall while sugar high copy and paste this on your profile
If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination put this on your profile
If you, with no warning, laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, copy this on your profile
If you have ever thrown something at a TV screen when you saw a character you despised, copy and paste this on your profile
If your profile is long, copy this onto it to make it even longer
If you have ever copy and pasted something copy and paste this onto your profile
If you have ever dreamed about being an Anime Character, copy and paste this into your profile
If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear beating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc. then copy this into your profile!
If you avoid teen fads and don't live your life according to others copy and paste this
Favorite anime sayings:
BELIEVE IT! (Naruto Uzumaki)
You don't have enough hate. (Itachi Uchiha)
Let's see. My first impression: I hate you - (Kakashi Hatake)
Too troublesome. (Shikamaru Nara)
You're annoying- (Sasuke Uchiha)
Love wins!- (Sakura Haruno)
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, watching-waiting-wishing, 100-percent-Harry-Potter-obsessed, iluvdavidwright45, dianeandnumairareahotcouple,windsoftiti, Ilovethelittletacos...Ilovethemgood, i-have-issues-deal-with-it, Kiba Obsessed Demonic Angel, Digital98, Anime-Kunoichi,Chinbaldo,Naruto Ninja44,May and Dawn are the best, rst64tlc,NeonZangetsu, RandomAnonymousMan
If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
92 percent of American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others.
If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai ChOpstIcKsXOXO, RadicalEd57, Fierygirl0, tsukiko3000,Neonzangetsu,RandomAnonymousMan
If you're addicted to anime,copy & paste this into your profile.
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile.
If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile
If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', then what's the opposite of 'progress'?
We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police
I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth.
Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
I am not a humanitarian. I am a hell-raiser.
Heck is the place for people who don't believe in Gosh.
I'm not a complete idiot... Some parts are missing.
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every-time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?
Sarcasm is one more service I offer. Compassion costs extra.
Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
I will temporarily rule the world, forever.
Life is like robbing a bank; so worth the while!
You want to know who your real friends are? Screw up and see who's still there- (A good one!!)
Let's see. My first impression: I hate you - Kakashi (Naruto)
Don't tell me the sky's the limit, when there's footprints on the moon-
Don't look at me with that tone of voice!-
Silence is golden, duck-tape is sliver-
Too troublesome - Shikamaru (Naruto)
It's a wonder they haven't locked you up yet-
A good friend would come and bail you out of jail. A true friend would be sitting there beside you saying, "Man that was fun! Let's do it again!"
Question: if some one with multiple personalities threatens to commit to kill himself is it considered a hostage situation??
Who ever said that anything was possible has obviously never tried to ski through a revolving door...
He shouldn't let his mind wander, it's too little to go out on its own
He had a good idea once, but it died of loneliness
"Comfort the Disturbed and Disturb the Comfortable" -Unknown
-"Fiction is a lie and good fiction is the truth inside the lie" -Unknown
Genius by Birth
Lazy by Choice
Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
You've gotta die in creative ways.
They keep saying the right person will come along; I think mine got hit by a
truck. Then the truck backed up and ran them over again.
If it's not nailed down, it's fair game.
To err is human, to forgive is not Company Policy
When in doubt, use brute force. When that doesn't work...RUN LIKE HELL!
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
If you are feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together.
Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.
I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.
You can't fall off the floor, but you can always pick yourself back up.
Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough.
If you mess with anything long enough, it'll break.
Push something hard enough and it will fall.
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. (I Live by
this one XD)
There's no point in being grownup if you can't be childish sometimes!
I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.
Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror and you
wouldn't have been notified.
Tomorrow will be canceled due to lack of interest.
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia,
but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?
Do what comes naturally now. Seethe and fume and throw a tantrum
Sleep: A completely inadequate substitute for caffeine
The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first
given opportunity (It's true I tell you!)
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all the evidence that you tried.
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view
I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going
to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and
break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear,
in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something
to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth
and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt
on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA"You'll sit there until all that
spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if
a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told
you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this
world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. " There are millions of less
fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when
you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing
your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I
know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your
toes, don't come running to me. "
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your
vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do
you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll
And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll
have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you".
Naruto for Rokudaime Hokage! If you also want Naruto to succeed Tsunade as the next Hokage, then copy and paste this to your profile page, and add your name to the list! Help Naruto achieve his dream!: KinKitsune01, Dipstick1214,Thousand Tailed Holy FangFlash, Fallen-Ryu,Hokage of Dragons, Jimbaliya the hunter, RandomAnonymousMan
If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile
This is Bunny.
(='.'=) Put him on your
(")_(") homepage and help him on his
way to WORLD DOMINATION!!
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible. (Its REALLY fun to ignore responsibility!!!)
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy. (Only half true... i have never needed anti-depressants)
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME/MANGA so I MUST be a freak.
I watch ANIME AND/OR READ MANGA so I MUST have no life.
I like to COSPLAY so I MUST be a crazy loser.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI/YURI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish (Actually true but its a choice to be childish, and its fun!)
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pendantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist
JUTSU LIST COMPILED BY CRIMSONTHEBLOODYDEMONKING
English Name/Japanese Name
100% Single Punch
1000 Meter Punch
Kongo Roheki/Adamantine Prison Wall
Air Raid Shot
Shihohappo Shuriken/All Directions Shuriken
All Weapons Above Heaven
Altering Terrain Diagram Scroll
Zofuku Kuchiyose no Jutsu/Amplification Summoning Technique
Animal Cursed Seal
Kagero Ninpo: Utakata/Antlion Ninja Arts: Ephemeral (Hand Seals)
Rakanken: Shoshitsu/Arhat Fist: Rising Knee
Rakanken: Tokken/Arhat Fist: Thrusting Shoulder
Rakanken: Hosho/Arhat Fist: Crumbling Palm
Rakanken: Shogekisho/Arhat Fist: Upwards Attacking Palm
Rakanken: Assho/Arhat Fist: Pressure Palm
Rakanken: Gangeki/Arhat Fist: Rock Attack
Arm of Shukaku
Suna no Yoroi/Armor of Sand
Nenkin no Yoroi/Armor of Sticky Gold
Army of the Dead Souls
Artistic Bird/Beauty of Destruction
Shinra Bansho Doka no Jutsu/Assimilate All Creation Technique
Doka Iwafubuki/Assimilated Rock Blizzard
Doka Ganseki Sensha/Assimilated Rock Tank
Doka Sabaku Kyu/Assimilated Sand Binding Coffin
Doka Sabaku Soso/Assimilated Sand Waterfall Funeral
Attack of the White Serpents
Mizudan Suisha/Ballistic Waterwheel
Bando's Chakra Armor
Bansho Ten'in/Heavenly Attraction of All of Creation
Kekkai: Hojin/Barrier Encampment Method
Kekkaimon Goju Jutsu: Hachimon Heijo/Barrier Gate Five Seals Technique: Castle Closing Eight Gates (Hand Seals)
Barrier Shatter Technique
Kekkai: Tengai Hojin/Barrier: Dome Method Formation
Kekkai: Gama Hyoro/Barrier: Toad Gourd Prison
Konori Seichu/Bat Controlling
Bat Controlling Ultrasonic Mind Waves
Jujin Bunshin/Beast Human Clone
Jujin Taijutsu Ouji: Tensoga/Beast Human Martial Arts Secret Technique: Heaven Twin Fang
A GUIDE TO THE WONDERFUL LANGUAGE OF UCHIHANESE
Hn-I don't care.
Hn-Go away, you annoying person.
Hn-I hate you.
Hn-You are a useless waste of air.
Hn-I won't go out with you because I am (obviously) gay. (No offence meant to gay people)
Hn-I'm special! The civilian council told me so!
Hn-DUCK ASSES ARE AWESOME!!! (His hair, for the few of you that won't understand this)
Hn-Michael Jackson can have me anyday!
Hn-Secretly I'm very lonely.
Hn-I LOVE TOMATOES!!!
Hn-You don't lack hate, you're just a pitifully weak.
Hn-I wake up at 3:00 AM and spend 4 and a half hours doing my hair.
I got the idea to do this from reading MaliceArchangela's Quiet on The Golf Course. If you can think of more translations, copy and paste this onto your profile and the add your name to the list: MaliceArchangela, RandomAnonymousMan, JLWafflezMan,
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.
Deidara: /^_\ )
Pein: - : -
Sasori : @_@
Copy and paste this to your page to help them take over the world!
Are you a big Naruto fan? Well below are some signs to show that you are addicted to Naruto!
· Dye your hair blonde and try to walk up a tree.
· Live by a strict diet of only ramen.
· Call your semester examine a Chuunin exam.
· Trade in your favorite hat for a forehead protector.
· Roll your eyes back in your head and shout "Byakugan".
· Copy every thing a person does and claim it's your bloodline.
· Stay up all night waiting for the release of the next manga chapter.
· Start adding the words chan and kun on the end of your friends names.
· Paste a piece of paper that says come come paradise on the front of adult books.
· Jump off a cliff and attempt to use Kuchiyose No Jutsu to summon the toad king.
· Keep all your money in a frog shaped wallet.
· Memorize the 64 points of Ninpou.
· Stick your hand in a electric box and scream "Chidori" as you pass out.
· Join a website and use the name Neji as your s/n.
· Start to call your teachers Sannin.
· Claim your going to kill your best friend so you can have a better Sharigan.
· Sit in your local book store and read the manga all day.
· Agree to stay up and write this list so you can be added to the staff of Naruto Central.
· Spend your week searching down Naruto sites.
· Graduate high school and proclaim yourself as an Anbu.
· Cry at the flash back scenes of Sasuke's family.
· Try to hit Itachi through the screen when he tortures Sasuke.
· List Anbu as current occupation on a job application.
· Can spout out a random character quote on command.
· Draw symbols on a scroll and try to seal a whole in a wall with it.
· Sneak around and try to beat your grand father.
· Wake up in the middle of the night and scream "Itachi why?!".
· Eat all day and all night, and then try to roll into a ball and run someone down.
· Get bit by a snake and decide stabbing the wound is a good idea.
· Read manga 24 hours non-stop.
· Decide that if u can't hit a tree 1500 times then you'll jump rope 1500 times.
· Decide to call your moral code your "ninja way".
· When you run, you run with your arms behind you.
· Try to walk on top of a hot spring.
· When someone asks you what your dream is, say that its to be Hokage.
· Write your name in blood on a big scroll.
· Take a leave of absence for two and a half years and when you come back pretend you're cooler and smarter.
· You paint the kyubii seal on your stomach and claim you have a demon inside of you.
· You dye your hair red and carry around bags of sand.
· You carve the Hokage's faces on a mountain.
· You name your dog Akamaru or Pakkun.
· You always wear sunglasses and keep bugs in your pockets.
· You get red contacts and claim you are from the Uchiha bloodline.
· You always wear green, skintight clothes.
· When you do something stupid, you claim you were being controlled by the Shadow Possesion Jutsu.
· You dye your hair white and spy on girls.
· You collect frogs and claim to be a Toad Sage.
· You wear a gigantic black cloak with red clouds on it and claim to catch demons.
· You sharpen chop sticks and claim them to be senbons.
· You yell out "Wind Shuriken Throw of Death" when throwing a frisbee.
· You stick pythons up your sleeves, jump down from a tree, and say that you're Orochimaru.
· Throw knives around the house and scream "I am practicing to throw my kunais!!"
· You try to gulp down ramen and nearly choke.
· Paint dark circles with mascara around your eyes and claim to be able to control sand.
· You faint when someone touches your forehead.
· You flail your arms in circles to try and kill bees.
· You try to kill your brother every day.
· Dye your hair pink and follow around the hottest guy you can find.
· You constantly crack your knuckles and do hand signs without even thinking.
· You claim your gym teacher to be your mentor.
· You always wear an orange jumpsuit.
· You claim your life goal is to kill your brother.
· You drink sake and say you are in the "spring time of youth".
· You add the word dattebayo to the end of each sentence.
· You keep alcohol in your mouth then spit it out with a match by your mouth to create a fireball.
· You poke people in their butts and yell "A thousand years of pain!".
· You always carry a large fan behind you.
· You paste Naruto's face on pictures of your friends and claim to have met him.
· In the middle of the night, you blast a flashlight into your dad's eyes and yell "Chidori!"
· Get Konoha tattoos on various parts of your body.
· Tattoo the love symbol on your forehead to look like Gaara.
· Carry a fan and wave it at anyone with a shadow.
· Draw a swirl on your palm and claim to be able to do the Rasengan.
· When being attacked, you spin in circles to defend yourself.
· When fighting someone, you attack to hit that at their chakra points.
· You name your pig Ton-ton.
· You look in the mirror and think its your shadow clone.
· You yell "Konoha Senpuu" when kicking a soccer ball.
· You carry around a puppet all day and claim it is dangerous.
· You call your teacher Iruka-sensei.
· You go to school with a forehead protector and claim it is the new trend from the Hidden Leaf Village.
· You say "Believe It" or "Dattebayo" after every sentence.
· When you fight, you poke your opponent 64 times.
· You stay up all night claiming that the Shukaku will eat you.
· You lay and stare at the clouds all day claiming everything to be troublesome.
· You have a frog wallet.
· Every time your class goes on a field trip, you call it a mission.
· You get angry and feel like punching Karin whenever she makes a move on Sasuke.
· Paint your skin red and tell everyone you opened the third chakra gate.
· You type in Konoha as your hometown on Internet forms.
· You keep paper shurikens in your fanny pack.
· You draw mouths on your palm during art class and pretend the clay figures you make come from the mouth.
· When your parents ask you why are your eyes so bloodshot, you tell them it's your Sharingan eye.
· Say "Itadakimasu" before you eat.
uh...that's it! (Man I'm addicted)
You KNOW you're obsessed with Naruto when...
1. You make a leaf village forehead protector.
2. You actually take the time to learn the jutsu hand motions.
3. Every time you put your glasses on, you whisper, 'Sharingan!'.
4. You dye your hair pink to get the 'Naturally Sakura' look.
5. You want people to refer to you as 'The 6th Hokage'.
6. You keep butter knives in your pocket and call them kunais.
7. You drew the Uchiha clan symbol on the back of your new jean jacket.
8. You name your dog Akamaru.
9. You throw sand at people and etch the symbol for 'Love' in Japanese on the side of your forehead.
10. You ask the chicken you ate last night to lend you some chakra.
11. You let a rabid snake bite you, hoping to get the seal.
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