Author has written 6 stories for Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Six Feet Under, and Kingdom Hearts.
Hi, my name is Zack. I'm 16 years old, and I do not have a gender.
I am here on fanfiction.net because there are a lot of interesting stories here, and I myself have a bunch of things I'd love to share. I hope you enjoy my work, even if a lot of it is quite shoddy or perhaps hard to read. I'm working on it.
Things I'm not allowed to do and things that I have to remember at Hogwarts:
1) Seamus Finnigan is not after me lucky charms.
2) I do not weigh the same as a duck. Nor should I try to act like one.
3) "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.
4) I will not sing "We're off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.
5) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class. Again.
6) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.
7) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda.
8) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.
9) We are not allowed to feed first years to Fluffy.
10) I will not crack any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month."
11) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals.
12) I will not sing the "Badger Song" during Hufflepuff vs. Slytherin quidditch matches.
13) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.
14) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Bat Mobile, Robin!"
15) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.
16) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor.
17) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental.
18) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny. Even if he is wearing an orange anorak.
19) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends."
20) I will not dress up in a Dementor's suit and use a dustbuster on Harry's lips to make him do what I want.
21) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.
22) I will not hold my wand in the air before casting spells shouting: "I got the power!"
23) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights who say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell "Ni!" from various directions.
24) I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance when I enter a classroom.
25) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bam!" every time I apparate.
26) I will not steal Griffyndor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallway.
27) I am not allowed to sing/hum my own personal spy music when wandering the halls.
28) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.
29) I am not allowed to begin Herbology class by singing the theme song to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes."
30) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.
31) The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife.
32) "Draco Malfoy, Take it up the Arse" is not an acceptable quidditch chant.
34) I am not Allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur.
34) It is a mad idea to tell Professor Mcgonagal that she takes herself too seriously.
35) "Ya'll check this shit out!" is not an appropriate way to announce that I am about to conduct an experimental spell.
36) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort.
37) I will not offer to pose nude for Collin Creevy.
38) I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy.
39) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from "The Phantom of the Opera."
40) Eating random sweets floating in the halls is a BAD idea.
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