Author has written 2 stories for Misc. Books, and Fullmetal Alchemist.
Hi! My name is Dragonmanvirus0007.
Letting you know, I AM a bit cra-... ok, let's get rid of the a bit. I AM crazy. I know it, so no need to call the mental hospital and tell them that one of their patients has escaped again.
Mental Hospital Doctor: THERE HE IS!!! GET HIM!!!!! (runs with syringes and straitjackets)
Oh, crap. Here come the asylum peeps.
Doctors: IT'S A MENTAL HOSPITAL!!! FOR CURING PEOPLE LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...wow. Thanks, I think.
Doctors: YOU'RE WELCOME!
Hey, Dragonmanvirus0007 here. Just to let you know, I will not take anyone's characters. But if you want me to put your character in my story, post a review with who your character is and his/her/its personality, and I will have it be in there for a cameo, maybe a chapter or two. If you want your character in again, follow the instructions above.
Elem (in progress): Fullmetal Alchemist; AUOOCOC(s?)- What happens when the Fullmetal characters find another skilled Alchemy kid? Set years after the first season.
I took a villain test (search "villain test" on Google and click first one), and here is what I got:
You are Venom
I took a superhero quiz and this is what I got:
You are Spider-Man
You know you live in the age of technology when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or facebook
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did
"I have 99 problems, and a botch is 1." -Blaine Capatch (Nerd Poker, Episode 56)
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.
First of all, here is my definition of writer's block: Writer's Block- n. 1. A mental barrier in the writer's mind that prevents the flow of new ideas to the brain. 2. A writer's worst nightmare and the bane of their existence. If you have experienced writer's block, know the pain of writer's block, and agree with me, then post this onto your profile immediately. If you haven't experienced writer's block yet, you undoubtedly will so post this onto your profile anyway.
If you are crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, or anything else that applies, copy and paste this to your profile. (I thought it said apples for a second there!)
A large percent of authors do not know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. If you do know the difference, copy and paste this to your profile
Along with not knowing the difference between 'your' and 'you're', some people don't know how to properly use 'their', 'there', and 'they're'. If you do know when to use these three words than paste this onto your profile and remember to thank your grammar teacher.
Too many people are on crack. If you're not, then add this to your bio
Too many people have smoked marijuana. If you haven't, write this to your profile
If you've ever busted a move/burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile
Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. (I've done this...)
If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. (What are these?)
95 of teenagers would panic if the Jonas brothers were about to jump off a 100 foot building. Copy and paste this if you were the other 5 that would bring popcorn and invite friends
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this into your profile
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile
If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile. (If you want Lucky Charms so bad, and have the energy to go out and chase that leprechaun, then haul your butts out to the store and buy a box!)
If you have siblings that drive you crazy then copy this onto your profile. (amplified, seeing as I have 1)
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. (Use plural for me.)
I'm an animé watcher/a manga reader, and I'm proud of it. If you are, copy and paste this line into your profile.
93 of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If your part of the 7 that would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Deidara's Manialoll 4 Ever, Edward's One True Love, ANBU Inu, oceaneyes85253, MaybelleDragon-chan, TheEmoSideOfMe, ChristinaAngel, EdwardlovesChristyalways, Shoelacey, KlutzyBurnette, CrazyHorseNinja, xxIxAMxTHExPIExx, Mamoru4ever, SilentWhiteRose, Velgamidragon, Hikari Kame, ottawawolf, Dragonmanvirus0007
If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!
If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile! (I reply to them, too)(... is it safe to have multiple voices?)
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile (I have, too)
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile (see comment just above)
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile (great way to stop an argument or to move away gracefully (like a DDR n00b) from an awkward topic)
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile
I want child abuse to stop, and if you do, too, copy and paste this onto your profile.
I have dreams about being in an animé/a manga, and I'm proud of it. If you are, copy and paste this line into your profile.
If you have ever attempted to mimic Artemis's vampire smile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever tried to bury an acorn at the full moon, or thought about it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever yelled at an inanimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you know the difference between a one-handed and a two-handed sword, copy and paste this into your profile.
My best friend is insane. If you have an insane friend, copy this into your profile! (does self count?)
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.
If you know someone who deserves punishment but you are to nice to do that to anyone even if they do deserve it, copy and past this to your profile.
Research shows that 92 of today's population have moved on to rap. If you are one of the 8 that stayed with rock, metal, pop, country, or alternative, copy and paste this onto your profile! (Some of my favorite bands do rap, but it is better than the generic crap that is out there)
SPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! If you are really random copy and paste this to your profile.
I have a GIANT I mean GIANT GIANT GIANT imagination, and I'm proud of it. If you are, copy and paste this line into your profile. (like I said before, I have multiple personal worlds.)
If you know you can fly, no matter what the laws of physics state, copy and paste this to your profile then add your name to the list: Wind Crystal, ChrisGrey, MewMewFerret, MewBleuberri, ANProductions, ANMProductions, CrazyHorseNinja, Velgamidragon, Hikari Kame, ottawawolf, Dragonmanvirus0007
If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. (helps me sleep)
If you hug cute toys when no one's looking, paste this to your profile and add your name. AlukaKaiserin (i love my fox...).Uya Comaru (Bunnie and Wolfy are my loves). Velgamidragon (Eee, Snowy!). HikariKame I have an obscene load of plushies..., ottawawolf (Simba! huggles), Dragonmanvirus0007 (Chops! spweeeeee!!!)
If you think aliens are really out there, and the only reason they haven't contacted us is because they think we're stupid (we are!), copy and paste this into your profile.
If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile :D ;3 XD :-D
If you think that the supernatural is real, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that it is possibly to transfer one's body into a video game/anime/movie/TV show/cartoon, copy and paste this onto your profile.
PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS!
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it!
A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won't repost it?
Repost this if you truly believe in God, or a god.
PS: God/a god is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what,
Wisdom of Life - Quotable Quotes.
According to the latest figures, 43 percent of all statistics are utterly worthless.
20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .
Those that fit me are in bold.
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
Copy and paste this into your profile if you think stereotypes are wrong.
Send This In An E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile!
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Try to half-ass comfort you when you feel down.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Always keep your stuff they borrowed in perfect condition.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink because they think it's polite.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Ask you what you number is.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Have to be reminded not to tell.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will offer to pay when you have a drink.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Don't let friends drive drunk.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will apologize when you forget lunch money and say that they don't have any left.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will smile and say "Don't worry about me" when they forget their lunch money, even if you didn't offer to pay.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will automatically tell you you're beautiful when you ask if something makes you look fat.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Would tell you not to get a face-lift because you already look perfect.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Tell you your zits aren't noticeable.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Laugh with you.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Congratulate you when you get good grades.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Encourage you not to skip school.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will glare at the guy who dumps you and say "Forget him. You're too good for him."
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Crush on your older brother whom you absolutely despise.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
FRIENDS: Will help me find my way when I'm lost
FRIENDS: Will help me learn to drive
FRIENDS: Will watch my pets when I go away
FRIENDS: Will help me up when I fall down
FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with me
FRIENDS: Ask me for my number
FRIENDS: Hide me from the cops
FRIENDS: let me make an idiot of myself in public
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
A friend is the best weapon you can have in a battlefield.
Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days."
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. " There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me. "
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you".
When life gives me lemons, I make orange juice and leave the world to wonder how the heck I managed it
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you
If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.
I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it
Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door
The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on
Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt
Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience
I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday
Someday, we'll look on this, laugh nervously and change the subject
I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me
Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them
Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas
If I had any dignity that would have been humiliating.
Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!
That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast.
Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."
When in doubt, push random buttons!
Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter
When you talk to God, that's religion. When God talks to you, that's psychotic.
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.
Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?"
There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.
They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...
Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking
You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it
He who laughs last thinks slowest
An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work
I'm not cynical, everything just sucks
I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid
It's not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.
There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.
The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’re good
I'm not as dumb as you look
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
Sarcasm is one more service we offer.
Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.
I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.
They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?
Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.
Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to
Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.
Always take the time to smell the roses...and sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.
If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek...nothing gets the message across like a good mooning.
If genius is 1 inspiration and 99 perspiration, I must be sharing elevators with a lot of bright people.
It's always darkest before dawn...so if you're gonna steal the neighbors newspaper, that's the tme to do it.
It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown...and fewer still to ignore someone completely.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked up into jet engines.
I believe no problem is so large or so difficult that it can't be blamed on someone else.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
My father always said laughter is the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us ended up dying of tuberculosis.
It takes a big man to cry...but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
When I'm feeling down I like to whistle...it makes my neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
Doors are on a house so you don't have to go through the windows.
If you can't get the skeletons out of your closet, you'd better teach them to dance.
Stupid is just a 5 letter word.
Don't ask me to think inside my head, because I lost my inside voice.
Friends are like condoms, they protect each other when things get hard.
No one ever says "it's only a game" if their team is winning.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
If UFO's are supposed to be so intelligent, then why have they abducted humans?
Anyone who says "As easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it.
If voting could change anything, it would be illegal.
That that is, is. That that is not, is not. That that is is not that that is not, and that that is not is not that that is.
If you got a problem, cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it.
I never repeat myself, so pay close attention to me the first time, cause I never repeat myself.
Work is blackmail for survival.
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth without first giving him a Certs.
Canaries are the best, especially with ketchup on them.
Slow and steady gets you trampled by the other guys.
When opportunity knocks, shoot first and ask questions later.
Fun flies when you're doing time.
When all else fails, use duct tape.
Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs", what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injection?
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow, isn't looking good either.
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"
My Reality Check bounced.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing
These are actually on the labels.
On Sears hairdryer:
On a bag of Fritos:
On a bar of Dial soap:
On some Swann frozen dinners:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
On Nytol sleep aid:
On a Korean kitchen knife:
On a string of Christmas lights:
On a food processor:
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
On artificial bacon:
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a child's Superman costume:
On an American Flag: Made in China
At Funplex: Paintless Paintball (So it's...ball?)
Next to a kid's place: Adult Movies
In a Parking Lot: Do not park in the parking lot. (That's okay, the streets are empty.)
A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And yet you have the nerve to call me colored"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Copy this onto your site and help stop racism
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Girl: Choose -- Me or your life.
Boy: My life.
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says:
"The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind"
"The reason why I don't like you is because I love you"
"The reason why I don't want you is because I need you"
"The reason why I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left"
"The reason why I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you"
"The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you"
"The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life"
Translations: Japan - English (((not by me!)))
Jobun = Foreword
Ichi = One
Haru = Spring
Sayonara = Goodbye
Moshi moshi? = Hello? ("Moshi moshi?", is something they say everytime they answer the phone)
Oh dear Kami-sama = Oh dear Lord / Oh dear God
Nakama = It can mean friend, but has a much stronger meaning to it like: Super-duper-bestest-friend-in-the-whole-wide-world-where-nothing-can-ever-ever-ever-EVER-tear-us-apart...
Koibito / Amate = Lover
Anata = means 'you' but also can mean 'dear'
Koi = Love
Koishii = Dearest / Sweetheart
Ichizoku = Family or Clan, ex. The Uchiha Ichizoku (The Uchiha Clan)
Otou-sama, Otou-san, Otou-chan, Tou-sama, Tou-san, Tou-chan, Chichioya (Chichiue),'Oyaji' = Father, dad, 'Old man'
Okaa-sama, Okaa-san, Okaa-chan, Kaa-sama, Kaa-san, Kaa-chan, Hahaoya (Hahaue) = Mother, mom
Onii-sama, Onii-san, Onii-chan, Nii-sama, Nii-san, Nii-chan, Aniki, Ani, (Name, ex. Naruto)-nii = Older brother, Big brother, (Ani) brother equally, big brother (Naruto)
Onee-sama, Onee-san, Onee-chan, Nee-sama, Nee-san, Nee-chan, (Name, ex. Sakura)-nee = Older sister, Big sister, big sister (Sakura)
Otouto-sama, Otouto-san, Otouto-kun, Otouto-chan, Otouto, (Name, ex. Sasuke)-otouto = Younger brother, little brother, baby brother, little brother (Sasuke)
Imouto-sama, Imouto-san, Imouto-chan, Imouto, (Name, ex. Hanabi)-imouto = Younger sister, little sister, baby sister, little sister (Hanabi)
Ojii-sama, Ojii-san, Ojii-chan, Jii-sama, Jii-san, Jii-chan, 'Oyaji' = Grandfather, 'Old man'
Obaa-sama, Obaa-san, Obaa-chan, Baa-sama, Baa-san, Baa-chan, Sobo = Grandmother, Granny, 'Old hag'
Oji-sama, Oji-san, Oji-chan, Ji-sama, Ji-san, Ji-chan = Uncle
Itoko-sama, Itoko-san, Itoko-kun, Itoko-chan = Cousin
Ossan = Old man / Mister
Onna = Woman
Gaki = Brat
-sama = For higher status, ex. Hokage, Clan Head, ex. Tsunade-sama, Hiashi-sama
-san = For people you respect, ex. Kakashi-san, or with surname only: Hatake-san
-kun = For a boy / man you are familiar with, ex. Sasuke-kun
-chan = For a girl woman you are familiar with, also refered to cute, ex. Sakura-chan
-sensei = For a teacher, doctor, ex. Iruka-sensei, Tsunade-sensei
-taichou = For a captain, ex. Hatake-taichou (Captain Hatake)
-shishou = For boss or a teacher in a job, ex. Tsunade-shishou (By Sakura)
-senpai = For a senior in school or in a job, ex. Neji-senpai, Deidara-sempai
-kouhai (Sp?) = For a junior in school or in a job, ex. Naruto-kouhai
Alicia Moonstoan (2)
Vivica Night (8)