Topaz
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Joined 11-18-00, id: 26003
Author has written 17 stories for Harry Potter.
Yar. It is I, Topaz, who have [has? there's a sticky grammar predicament] decided to return and redo my bio. Hello, person. Why are you here? I haven't written anything in ages. Go crawl back in your hole.

Here is some basic information about myself.
Name: Topaz. Well, not really. We'll just pretend it is.
Age: 15. I can ALMOST drive . . . almost almost . . . Driver's Ed is crap. . . .
Gender: Female, I think.
Hair: Brown. Fascinating, no?
Skin: Very pale. I just got sunburned in the SHADE a few days ago.
Eyes: Subject to change.
Ears: Check.
Nose: Check. Currently sunburned.

So how are you? How am I? How is the world? The world's in sucky shape. The screen name I gave is no longer in use, but I'm not giving out my new one because I'm busy being a hermit and not talking to people. So there. :P You can email me at tangtopaz@hotmail.com if there's some pressing need like those men in white coats think you're me or something.

I might return someday with another account, but for now . . . Topaz is dead.

Dead.

Muahaha.

A scream echoes far off in the distance.

That was quite a loud thud, wasn't it?

Little crimson droplets fly through the air.

Pretty . . . it's like a fountain!

The obligatory "Noooo!" is shrieked by some random observer, who then dives toward the motionless corpse at your feet.

Gosh, it smells bad in here. Like blood, y'know?

Said corpse staggers to its feet and wanders off, humming happily.

Thank you. Thank you very much.
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Hogwarts Sing-A-Long reviews
Hogwarts sing-a-long, join the fun... It's finally finished! A chaptered story that's actually finished...read it now, you know you want to! Oh. Really? Not even a tiny bit? Well, fine, just be that way!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,850 - Reviews: 111 - Favs: 7 - Updated: 6/27/2001 - Published: 5/19/2001
Curses, My Nose Fell Off! reviews
How Eloise Midgen cursed her nose off. Note my creative names for the chapters ^_^.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,390 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/10/2001 - Published: 3/5/2001
Quicksand reviews
Short, fluffy little R/H fic. I can't believe I wrote this. *cringes*
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 464 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 3/9/2001
Mad Libs, Harry Potter Style reviews
You get to fill in the blanks for both a positive review and a flame. In case you don't know what mad libs are, I included directions. Have fun!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 532 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/20/2001
Who's The Perfect One For You? reviews
Harry & friends take a survey to find the perfect guy/girl for them. It's based on a true story ,too... *shudder*
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,422 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 12 - Published: 1/31/2001
The Unicorn's Horn reviews
My version of the fifth book, where 7 American students visit Hogwarts for half the year and 7 Hogwarts students go to America for the second half. I know the American wizarding school thing is WAY overdone, but I've tried to be creative, so please review
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,001 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 1/29/2001 - Published: 1/17/2001
Neville Has A Hairy Tongue reviews
A respone to METMA Mandy's challenge. Er... rather strange. (Duh) Please read! Although you will probably be traumatized... ^_^
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,507 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 4 - Published: 1/26/2001
The Confessions Booth reviews
"Bless me, Snape, for I have sinned..."
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,752 - Reviews: 373 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/19/2000
It's A Wonderful Life Except In Potions reviews
My first non-sugar-high fic! Yay! Instead of being insane it's just cheesy...joy.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,337 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/16/2000
The Day the Characters Took Over the World reviews
When angry characters take over the world, what are the fic authors going to do?! Well, first off, they're going to bash me over the head for writing such a dumb summary...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,417 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/16/2000
Harry Potter And The Standardized Test reviews
Um... look at the title. Also includes the origin of the MCAS (I'll give you a hint: Voldemort).
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 887 - Reviews: 133 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/4/2000
Love Potions And Eggnog Cookies Don't Mix reviews
Um... heh heh... sort of D/H emphasis on the words 'sort of'... oh, just read it! Really strange. Kinda scary.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,777 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 5 - Published: 11/27/2000
The Wonderful World Of I Forget The Name reviews
Complete random nonsense. Only to be read if you are on a sugar high. :-)
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,558 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 9 - Published: 11/24/2000 - Complete
The Evil Pumpkin Juice reviews
No particular plot except the one Hermione bought, but everyone ignored that... um, nevermind... a cliche with no self insertion except one little sentence that doesn't really count...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 644 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 4 - Published: 11/22/2000
Mary Sue Returns reviews
And our beloved *cough* heroine (not the drug) returns! NOT a chapter, just a sort of sequel. Yah. Sure. ^_^
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 899 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11/20/2000
Song Of the Snorting Hat reviews
This the the Sorting Hat. This is the Sorting Hat on drugs.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 201 - Reviews: 194 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/20/2000
Mary Sue Comes To Hogwarts reviews
Well, it's been done a lot by now, but who cares. I present to you...the dreaded...Mary Sue!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,057 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/19/2000