Kai the Mad
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Joined 11-05-10, id: 2603960, Profile Updated: 04-10-12
Author has written 4 stories for Redwall, and Metal Gear.

Kai Bearslayer the Mad has joined the ranks of the Redwall fanfiction writers! Huzzah...

Well, have you ever met one of those types of people who obsess over things? I'm one of them. My obsessions vary, but so far it's been pretty consistent with Redwall, most progressive metal and symphonic metal bands, Skyrim, and wondering why people act the way they do.

I can't tell if I'm the black-sheep of the fandom or not, but I think I'm the only atheist Redwall fan (so far, I mean, how many fans can there possibly be out there that I haven't seen yet?). I can understand where everyone gets the religious vibes from the series, considering that it generally takes place in or around an abbey, but I just never quite caught it. But do we need to follow a specific religion to enjoy a good series of books?

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm an ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.

I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.


I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

Don't stereotype, people. It's not nice ;)

-Some thoughts-

I don't like MartinxRose fics, because they make us all sad that Rose died and they can never get to be together.

Why doesn't Badrang have fic about him here? I've seen oodles of Cluny fics, a few Slagar fics and Veil fics, and even a Klitch one, but why not Badrang? Is it because of Rose? Cluny killed an abbot, Slagar beat and enslaved children, and Veil attempted murder. How do their actions get to be forgiven, but killing one little mousemaid makes the whole fandom want to stuff you in a garbage disposal and turn it on? Actually, why is it that the only thing some people hate Badrang for is Rose's death? He's done worse than that. Was it that the fandom didn't like him because he owned slaves and had them beaten, and when he killed Rose that was just his moral event horizon and the fandom grabbed their pitchforks and torches and started an angry mob? I like Badrang. He'll probably stay my favorite character for a long time.

I don't like your female Dovahkiin. Male Dragonborns FTW!

Likes: Lots of things :D

Dislikes: More things than what I like :(

I also take requests, as long as they're reasonable cuz' I wont do porn or yaoi/yuri. Why? I respect fictional characters, as weird as it may be.

I'm going to sound like a lunatic but I am actually hoping that I can do this... My goal here and in life is to write the longest ongoing fanfiction on the site. I don't know how the hell I'm going to accomplish that, but I'll try.

While I'm still here, my stories may contain swear words and slang. I'm sorry if this offends you but I'm not one of those who has a cuss word every other word, I use it as tastefully as I possibly can.

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Things Better Left Unvisited by Spider Milkshake reviews
There are things in the Redwallverse that sorely need addressing... Things of a nature unfit for the ears of Dibbuns, but they're probably sitting on the Dormitory steps right now, listening in and giggling. Read if you dare.
Redwall - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 29 - Words: 23,554 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 12/3/2013 - Published: 8/17/2012
Cold and Dark by Kelaiah reviews
A frail pine marten, a sinister wildcat, a haunted otter, a conniving fox... This is their story.
Redwall - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 27 - Words: 99,334 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 10/12/2012 - Published: 1/22/2007 - Complete
Tassel's Tribulations by Cairn Destop reviews
A day in the life of a Badgermom.
Redwall - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,383 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/31/2012 - Published: 8/30/2012 - Complete
Of Fur and Flame Book Two: Passages by Killy-S reviews
The Arson and his wife sail across the sea. Meanwhile back at Salamandastron two haremaids grow up. Time passes, warriors will be made, and new enemies will rise. Continued from Book one: Two Daughters
Redwall - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 28,343 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 8/8/2012 - Published: 3/23/2011 - Complete
Viva La Vida by BrokenShadowBreeze reviews
Ulfric reflects on what could possibly be his last moments before crossing into Sovngarde. Drabble-esque songfic to Coldplay's Viva La Vida. DragonbornxUlfric if you tilt your head sideways and squint with one eye closed.
Elder Scroll series - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 739 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/23/2012 - Ronthil, Dragonborn/Dovahkiin
Jagged Crown by the-lovecat reviews
Ulfric Stormcloak has succeeded in taking Skyrim from the Empire, and now holds Elisif the Fair prisoner in her own palace. With the Thalmor now wanting Elisif's life, can the two put aside their differences and fight back? Elisif/Ulfric
Elder Scroll series - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 14,360 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 1/13/2012 - Published: 12/10/2011
The Best Laid Plans of Vermin by gethsemane342 reviews
Even vermin fall in love - but how do they get their crush to notice them?
Redwall - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,269 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/16/2011 - Complete
Point of View by Danderil reviews
A short Redwall one-shot from a unique viewpoint; A commanders thoughts before he starts a war.
Redwall - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 620 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 8/28/2011 - Complete
Redwall Dating Game by Kelaiah reviews
A Gameshow where Redwall characters find dates with each other! PLEASE READ & REVIEW! CHP 4 UP!
Redwall - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,241 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 8/28/2010 - Published: 1/18/2007
Bluefen's Story by Orion's Halo reviews
In "The Outcast of Redwall," Swartt's story was told. Bryony's was told. Veil's was told. But what about Bluefen, the pretty shadow of a wife to whom Mr. Jacques gave no dialogue? This is her story. Rated M for violence, sex, and alcohol use.
Redwall - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 22,461 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 6/23/2010 - Published: 1/5/2009 - Swartt Sixclaw
Somewhere in Time by Innocent-Youth reviews
One-shot. Pairing: Roy Khan-Kamelot /Simone Simons-Epica . "But every evening she’s mine for about four and a half minutes." Roy's POV. Rated K just to be sure. Reviews are love!
X-overs - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 453 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Published: 2/26/2009 - Complete
Veiled in Deceit by Laburnum Steelfang reviews
A very different look at how a certain minor character could have been, written deliberately to challenge the general views of the fandom. WARNING: Includes non-graphic but obvious mature content and disturbing imagery.
Redwall - Rated: M - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,436 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 11 - Published: 7/5/2008 - Complete
Swike's Story by Maiden of the BH reviews
Swike, sold into the army of Lord Koron, must learn to adapt and change. Her talents may get her far, but it's her strength of spirit that will guide her actions in the end. Rating for violence.
Redwall - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 55 - Words: 118,466 - Reviews: 192 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 4/10/2008 - Published: 9/13/2004 - Complete
If I Should Wake Before I Die by Dirk O'Reilly reviews
What if Rose only suffered head trauma when Badrang threw her against the wall, instead of death? What would be the consequences of the injury for herself and others? Told in first person, from multiple points of view. Narration based on As I Lay Dying.
Redwall - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,491 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 9/2/2007 - Published: 5/26/2007
All the Things Unsaid by VampCat reviews
It seems that Marlfoxes by nature are incapable of feeling love. However, Gelltor has a far worse problem. He loves someone who will never love him back. [slash GelltorMokkan]
Redwall - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,154 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/30/2004 - Published: 1/16/2004 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Unexplainable Insanity reviews
Otherwise known as "what happens when you have way too much free time on your hands." But that title was way too long.
Redwall - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 378 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/18/2012 - Martin the Warrior - Complete
Sona Legend
A seven-year-old girl meets up with a group of people who may or may not be terrorists and discovers that they know her parents. Also, there's something about shape-shifting and fantasy elements that have no place in the Metal Gear series. I fixed some errors to make it readable and wrote it exactly as it was written in the notebook, typos and even that random pilcrow in all.
Metal Gear - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,609 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/5/2012 - Complete
The Dog who Saved Redwall reviews
Kai, a dog who may or may not be insane, and the hero chosen by Martin himself must save Redwall and the army of Cluny the Scourge. From what? I'm sure you know what it is. COUGHCOUGHMARYSUESCOUGHCOUGH! The cheesey humor warning here is sharp...cheddar!
Redwall - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,830 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/17/2011 - Published: 2/14/2011 - Cluny the Scourge, Matthias
Mama reviews
Nothing is stronger than the bond between mother and child. Might be OOC but I don't know that much about Sela and Chickenhound/Slagar's relationship together. Kinda sappy.
Redwall - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,426 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/23/2011 - Sela, Chickenhound/Slagar the Cruel - Complete