The Devil's Niece
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 11-07-10, id: 2605937, Profile Updated: 07-24-11
Author has written 6 stories for Twilight.

MY QUOTE FOR THE DAY: "Whatever is not nailed down is mine; what I can pry loose is not nailed down." -Collis P. Huntingdon

Little Info About Me:

Have dark brown hair and hazel eyes, turns 16 on October 20.

I am 5' 2", which is short, especially considering I'm flat-footed.

I like all things involving anything to do with magic, like stuff about mermaids and wolves and vampires and angels and wizards and witches and Wiccans and...yeah, you get the picture.

Nicknames: Calculator, Calejandro, California, Callie, Callie babe, Callie girl, Skittles, the devil's niece, and...yeah, that's about it.

Interests: Watching football (GO GIANTS!), playing football (tackle only, I'm awful at two-hand touch), playing basketball, playing soccer, playing baseball/softball, hanging with my friends (who are mostly guys), hanging with my boyfriend, writing and reading, cooking, watching movies and sometimes T.V, and learning more about Greek Mythology.

So I love the culture. Sue me.

Favorite Books: *The Gallagher Girls, Percy Jackson, Keeping The Moon, The Art of Racing in The Rain, Harry Potter, The Help, Catch, Holes, Twilight Saga, Maximum Ride, Graceling, I Am Number Four, Witch & Wizard, The Gift, The Glass Castle, The Princess Bride, Much Ado About Nothing, Esperanza Rising, Becoming Naomi Leon, Black Beauty

*I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have To Kill You; Cross My Heart and Hope to Spy; Only the Good Spy Young; Don't Judge a Girl By Her Cover*

Favorite Movies: Bad Boys II; I, Robot; This Christmas; Madea's Family Reunion; Madea Goes to Jail; Diary of A Mad Black Woman; Push; Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen; Barbershop; Black Beauty; Much Ado About Nothing; Zoom: Academy for Superheroes; The Secret Life of Bees; TMNT I; TMNT II; TMNT III; Lion King II: Simba's Pride; Mulan; Mulan II; Treasure Planet

Favorite T.V Shows: Lie To Me, The Mentalist, Ghost Whisperer, Charmed, Medium, Cold Case, Tyler Perry's: Meet the Browns, Tyler Perry's: House of Payne, Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, Young Justice, Tom and Jerry, Looney Toons, *Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; Power Rangers SPD, Power Rangers Mystic Force, Power Rangers Ninja Storm, Power Rangers Jungle Fury; Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue

*All the different series - my favorites were the original and Fast Forward.*

Stuff To Fill the Space-

1. You've gotta take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you've got and remember what you had. Always forgive but never forget. Learn from mistakes but never regret.

2. Bringing your own food to the movie theaters.

3. No matter how much you hate school, you always end up missing it when you leave.

4. Staring at someone for a REALLY long time, just to see how long it takes them to notice. Then looking away when they finally do.

5. Someone copies off you during a test. So how do they score more than you?

6. "Ha! I'm older." "Ha, you'll die first." "Not if I run you over." XD

7. Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over.

8. Losing someone hurts. Missing them hurts more. Wanting them back kills you.

9. If those chain messages were accurate, I'd be dead 305 times by now.

10. Where's Kanye when your parents are about to give a long speech?

11. Best revenge? Smile, be happy, never let them know it hurt.

12. Do. Not. Touch. Me.

13. "I think I'm losing my mind." - "You can't lose what you never had, man."

14. Walking by someone you used to know and pretending you never met.

15. Trying to act natural around the cops, even when you didn't do anything.

16. "Friends are like bras; close to the heart and supportive."

17. When I'm in awkward situations, I whip out my cell phone.

18. "I didn't do it." - "Then why are you laughing?" - "Cause whoever did it is a freaking genius."

19. "Haha, remember that time when you-" Dude, shut up, my mom's right there!

20. Is that all the firework does? Oh crap, it spins, run!

21. Ow. I forgot that wall was there.

22. 2 biggest weapons in the world: a girl's smile and her tear. Both can force a man to do anything.

23. Hi spider, nice spider, let me pet you...with my shoe...good spider...

24. I'm FLYING! Just kidding, I'm falling with style.

25. Why do guys drink beer, and girls eat chocolate right after a break-up? Because the sweetness of chocolate makes girls forget the bitterness of breaking up, and the bitterness of beer makes guys forget the sweetness of the girl.

26. Anatadaephobia: the fear that somehow, somewhere...a duck is watching you.

27. "Be yourself, don't take anything from anyone, and never let them take you alive" -Gerard Way

28. People are going to hate you, love you, love to hate you and hate to love you - but the ones that mean the most will always be there.

29. A-B-C-D; Gummi bears are chasing me; One is red, one is blue, one is trying to steal my shoe; Now I'm running for my life; 'Cause the red one has a knife.

30. No, I haven't met Mr. Right yet - but I have met Mr. Rude, Mr. Faker, and Mr. Player.

31. Blanket on, too hot. Blanket off, too cold. One leg in, one leg out, perfect...until the awkward moment when the demon from Paranormal Activity grabs you by the ankle and drags you through the hall.

32. You fight like a married couple, flirt like first loves, talk like best friends, and protect each other like brother and sister. Obviously, it's meant to be.

33. Don't steal my sayings, you uncreative person, you.

34. "Age is just a number." Yeah, and jail is just a room.

35. When stopped by the police and told "Your eyes are red. Have you been drinking?" DO NOT reply with "Your eyes look glazed. Have you been eating donuts?"

36. You're several years younger than me, you have sex, you drink and smoke, you got 5 boyfriends, and you're failing school. Yeah, your mom should feel proud.

37. That awkward moment when no one wants to give their wand to Voldemort.

38. Wondering just how ironic it would be if someone was punched in the face with Johnson's No More Tear shampoo.

39. 1 universe, 9 planets, 7 continents, 204 countries, 809 islands, and I had the fortune of meeting you.

40. Who is THAT sexy beast...whoops, clicked on my own profile again!

41. Don't drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

42. I'd run to you, in the pouring rain, at 20 degrees, on a school night, just to punch you in the face. The only reason I haven't is because I don't know where you live.

43. You know, you annoy the crap outta me, but smoking my cigs keeps me calm. You better hope I never run out of cigarettes, 'cause if I do, I WILL FIND YOU.

44. Two boys like a girl - one says "I'll fight you for her.", but the other says "I wouldn't, because love isn't something you fight for, it's something that happens and you protect."

45. You though I was quiet - then you got to know me.

46. Don't worry, I'll kill the bug- OH SHIT IT FLIES!

47. Adults? Yeah, they're just kids with money.

48. "But Mom, what if I get kidnapped?" -- "They'll bring you back, trust me."

49. What's thought when sober, is spoken when drunk.

50. The awkward moment when an Asian gets a 99% in math and you know you're never gonna see them again.

51. "Hey, did you just-" "No." "But I just saw you-" "Nope." "Wait, let me finish the damn-" "Not happening."

52. For guys it's "bros before hoes", for girls it's "chicks before dicks". For me it's "whoever got my back over them fake-assed bitches any day".

53. "How are you?" "I AM GOD!" "..."

54. Hey, this is an A and B conversation, so C your way out of it before D jumps over E and Fs you up like a G.

55. Remember when protection was a helmet? And getting high meant swinging? That stranger in the hallway was your bestfriend, and cigarettes were lollipops. Sluts were the innocent ones and kissing didn't lead to sex. The only thing you got from boys were cooties, and detention didn't turn into suspension - vodka was soda, and homework never hit the trash. Race issues were about who was fastest, and your worst enemies were your siblings. I miss those days.

56. I'll be Burger King and you'll be McDonalds - I'll be doing it my way, and you'll be loving it.

57. "Bitch, I hate you." - "Aw, I love you too."

58. How can I remember a song from when I was 8, but I can't for the life of me remember why I walked into the kitchen.

59. They say age is just a number. They also say jail is just a room. I say that lemonade is a sugary soft drink designed to keep the masses invested in the corporal advertisement known as business. Clever, eh?

60. It's not hard to fly. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

61. The people in 1910 probably thought that in 2010 we'd have flying cars and robots...but no, so far we've been able to come up with backwards robes and animal shaped rubber-bands.

62. "Love me or hate me, both are in my favor...if you love me, I'll always be in your heart...if you hate me, I'll always be in your mind." -William Shakespeare

63. Think of a number. Double it. Add 6. Half it. Subtract by the original number. Your answer is 3. Always 3.

64. "In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards." -Mark Twain

65. "There are some situations from which one can only escape by acting like a devil or a lunatic." -George Orwell

66. "If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started." -Anon

67. "What does Christmas mean if we can't encourage small children to sit on a stranger's lap?" -Ian O'Doherty

68. "The tooth fair teaches children that they can sell body parts for money." -David Richerby

69. I love giving opinions, I've got hundreds of them.

70. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

71. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

72. If at first you don't succeed, blame someone else and seek counseling.

73. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

74. You never know how many friends you have until you rent a beach house.

75. You may be recognized soon. Hide.

And more coming...


Your parents are coming home while you're having a party-
T.V Kids:
Yo, yo, everybody out! My parents will be here!
Hey! My 'rents are coming! Everybody out!
Will from F.P.B (Fresh Prince):
Party over! Y'all don't gotta leave, but y'all gotta get the hell outta here!

Mom: What was that?
You: Nothing...

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: Bathroom.
Teacher: You have a pass?
Student: The bathroom doesn't give late passes.

Student: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: No.
Student: I'M ON MY PERIOD!!
Teacher:'re a boy.
Student: ...and you're point is...?

Boy: I love you.
You don't. Prove it.
Throw away your XBox.
*points to door* Get out.

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver. And electricity runs good with copper coils. Of course, the duct tape helps.

*AGE 6*
Girl: Daddy look! *points at boy* That's my new friend.
Dad: That's great. Go play sweetie!
*AGE 13*
Girl: Hey Dad, there's my bestfriend.
Dad: No the hell he isn't! *points to random girl* THAT is your new bestfriend.

Girl: *crying*
Hey, what's wrong?
My boyfriend broke up with me. *cries harder*
*holds her close* Why?
I broke his Black Ops disc.
*pushes her away* YOU DID WHAT?! Outta my house.

*AGE 6*
Sister: *crying*
Brother: What's wrong?
Sister: I got a owie.
*AGE 15*
Sister: *crying*
Brother: What's wrong?
Sister: My boyfriend broke up with me. *keeps crying*
Brother: *loads shotgun* I'll be right back.

Charlie: You can eat the grass?
Willy Wonka: Of course you can! Everything in this room is edible, even I'm edible! But that is called "cannibalism", my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.

Elementary School:
*everyone is quiet*
Middle School: *whispers* "Can I have a piece of gum?"
High School: *shouts across room* "YO, WHAT'S THE ANSWER TO NUMBER 5?!"

Boy's texting...
Friend: "Hey man, who ya texting?"
Boy: "My girlfriend..."
Friend: "Why would you do that?"
Friend: "Okay dude..."

You: So what'cha wanna do?
Friend: I dunno, what do you wanna do?
You: Well, I was kinda hoping you would suggest something...

Teacher: I'm calling your mother!
You: Tell her I say hi!

Teacher: I'm done, go in the hall!
Elementary School: No, I'm sorry, I'll be good!
Middle School: Um, okay...? Bye.

Teacher says we're watching Bill Nye The Science Guy-
Elementary School: Who? Oh, that guy. YAY!
Middle School: Ugh, why?! He's so stupid!

When You're In Trouble-
If You're Black or Hispanic:
I'M GONNA WHOOP YOUR ASS! *grabs belt*
If You're White: GO TO YOUR ROOM, YOU'RE GROUNDED! *walks away*
If You're Asian: DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS CALLED? *points to raised hand* DISCIPLINE!

Mom gets you an Elmo t-shirt-
Elementary School: YAY! THANKS MOMMY!
Middle School: Heh, uh, thanks Mom...*mutters under breath* I gotta go bury this somewhere.

Teacher: I'm calling your mother!
Elementary School:
Middle School:
Um, alright...? *secretly worrying*
High School:

Harry Potter: HA! YOU DON'T HAVE A NOSE!
Harry Potter:
That's your fault, but you know what I have that you don't?
What's that?!
Harry Potter:

Black Kid: My mom kicked my ass yesterday.
Hispanic Kid: Mine too.
Asian Kid:
Mine too!
White Kid:
I got sent to my room. :(
Black, Asian, and Hispanic Kids: *look over in disbelief* YOU HAVE A ROOM?!

Police officer pulls you over-
Police: Papers?
You: Scissors, I win! :D
Police: Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the vehicle...

You know, math can be fun. 1, 2, me and you - 3, 4, against my door - 5, 6, just a few licks - 7, 8, you won't be able to walk straight - 9, 10, shall we go again? ;D

S.C.H.O.O.L - Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Lives
C.L.A.S.S - Come Late And Start Sleeping
F.I.N.A.L.S - Fuck I Never Actually Learned Shit

You cry, I cry; you laugh, I laugh; you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

And maybe more.

Favorite Pairings:

Alice/Bella, Edward/Jasper, Edward/Jacob, Edward/Carlisle, Jacob/Jasper, Sam/Jacob, Jacob/Seth, Edward/Bella, Alice/Jasper, Edward/Seth, Bella/Jacob, Esme/Carlisle, Twilight Wolves/OC's

Maximum Ride:
Fang/Max, Ella/Iggy, Nudge/Iggy, Fang/Iggy

Percy Jackson Series:
Percy/Annabeth, Nico/Thalia

Harry Potter:
Hermione/Ron, Harry/Ginny, Harry/Ron, Draco/Ron, Harry/Draco, Harry/Hedwig

Avatar: The Last Airbender:
Zuko/Aang, Aang/Katara, Sokka/Suki, Zuko/Mai, Sokka/Toph, Sokka/Zuko

Well, there you have it. This should also somewhat explain some of my stories, if you get my point. You might, you might not...who knows what goes on in that mind of yours?

Anyways, hope you enjoy my stories. I'll try to work hard and update as much as I can.

Bye. Thanks for reading my profile.

My FanFiction Family: Erika, Macy, DJ, Carter

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

dear blank, sincerely blank by tequilya reviews
humorous exchanges between characters that always start with 'Dear', and end with 'Sincerely'. Drabble fic. Revived.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 83 - Words: 5,534 - Reviews: 2421 - Favs: 969 - Follows: 570 - Updated: 7/12/2017 - Published: 9/5/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G., Draco M., Voldemort
shattered bottles of crimson by tequilya reviews
yeah, she's that girl your parents warned you about - DerrickClaire
Clique - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 539 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/8/2017 - Published: 12/13/2010 - Claire L., Derrington - Complete
Over The Top by starfish422 reviews
Slash: Edward is an unabashed pleasure-seeker, one of the club kings of the Seattle gay community. One night at his favorite club, he meets an enigmatic man who rocks the world he has created. Explicit sexuality/language/mature themes.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 35 - Words: 177,668 - Reviews: 6827 - Favs: 2,461 - Follows: 1,264 - Updated: 2/15/2016 - Published: 2/15/2009 - Edward, Jasper - Complete
Mergers and Acquisitions by Touchstone67 reviews
When Edward pays for a night of harmless fun, he didn't expect to get the purchase of a lifetime. Will his nights in Seattle change his whole life in Chicago? Full length story for the second place winner in the Slash/Backslash Contest. Rated M, J/E
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 42 - Words: 647,177 - Reviews: 5103 - Favs: 1,752 - Follows: 1,368 - Updated: 6/22/2013 - Published: 1/9/2010 - Jasper, Edward
Feral by opal aline reviews
When Bella signed up for a summer archeology program, she thought she'd be exploring fossils and sedimentary rock. Little did she know, she would find herself the primary caretaker for a man with no verbal capacity or human interaction skills-a feral man
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 35 - Words: 123,153 - Reviews: 4519 - Favs: 3,684 - Follows: 2,846 - Updated: 12/29/2012 - Published: 1/1/2011 - Complete
The Cullen Inheritance by twilightluver001 reviews
Money. Respect. NYC. Edward Cullen had them all, being the grandson of Elizabeth Cullen. When out of nowhere came in Bella Swan, who saved Gran's life, his life began to go downhill. Now he was in danger of losing his most prized possession: his legacy.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 51,542 - Reviews: 879 - Favs: 645 - Follows: 802 - Updated: 6/23/2012 - Published: 9/6/2010 - Edward, Bella
Conversations with My Killer by Oracle Vas reviews
To me, life was a heartbeat in time and a breath of air. Jasper showed me it was truth, justice, faith, love, and fear. He dared me to be different. He encouraged me to defy the rules of my world and create my own. And on my last day, he took it all.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 31 - Words: 193,610 - Reviews: 4862 - Favs: 2,193 - Follows: 2,207 - Updated: 4/3/2012 - Published: 7/13/2010 - Bella, Jasper
I Love Hating You by Huff-PuffI'llNeverBeBlownAway reviews
Brady James led me on. Brady James broke my heart. Brady James can drop dead. This is a stereotypical story, girl Kendall likes boy Brady , boy notices girl, boy humiliates girl, girl hates boy, boy imprints on boy-hating girl. Ahh, love. Brady/OC
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 15,542 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 2/2/2012 - Published: 10/23/2010 - Brady
Embracing the Light by KDJ reviews
Isabella Swan, rescued from her abusive parents, goes to a foster family. Will she finally be able to embrace the light, or will her darkness return. Edward/Bella. Rated M for mature subjects and future lemons. AH, AU, OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,633 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/22/2011 - Bella, Edward
Popcorn Toss by ThePenWielder reviews
Max and Fang are 16, the world is safe, the Flock has a house all to themselves, and hormones are raging. Could life get any better? An almost plot-less loose connection of stories between the cutest avian couple ever just to make you laugh. Complete!
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 28 - Words: 73,037 - Reviews: 883 - Favs: 446 - Follows: 322 - Updated: 7/20/2011 - Published: 12/28/2008 - Max, Fang - Complete
A Thousand Leaves by BellaSunshine reviews
Isabella Swan grew up as the best friend of Alice Cullen, younger sister of Edward Cullen, who was never nice to Bella despite her being an "honorary Cullen." Everything changes when Edward is sent to prison for the murder of Bella's mother. AU-Human
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 41 - Words: 196,783 - Reviews: 7513 - Favs: 5,196 - Follows: 2,959 - Updated: 6/9/2011 - Published: 8/27/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Hide In Plain Sight by FangMom reviews
Edward is an actor, hounded by paparazzi and fans. His financial advisor Jacob invites Edward to stay with him and his family in Houston. Can Edward hide in plain sight and will his relationship with Jacob's wife Bella tear a close-knit family apart?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 266,336 - Reviews: 1880 - Favs: 1,386 - Follows: 886 - Updated: 5/26/2011 - Published: 12/14/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Greatest Miscalculation by mew-tsubaki reviews
M&MWP, oneshot. A Charlitrix story as seen from the eyes of Mrs. Weasley. Molly thought she finally had the perfect family...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,691 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/19/2011 - [Charlie W., Bellatrix L.] Molly W., OC - Complete
The Importance of Family by M'rika reviews
The war was gearing up, and Rodolphus just happened to bump into Andromeda and her daughter. Andromeda made an ill-advised joke, and well, he didn't take to it kindly. Oneshot. Non romantic pairing.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 699 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/16/2011 - Rodolphus L., Andromeda T. - Complete
Snapdragon by Tabby Kattene reviews
Everyone loves the reality TV show Winx Club. It's quirky and magical and on Magix primetime. But behind the cameras, the most popular starlet knows a few dirty little secrets that could rock the ratings.
Winx Club - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,184 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/15/2011 - Bloom, Roxy - Complete
Moving On by Lady Zenayla reviews
"Gullible. Foolish. Naive. Her. She thought his love for her was infinite. Forever. Expect the unexpected." -ONESHOT. Bella/Edward. Set after New Moon. AU.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,070 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/12/2011 - Bella - Complete
L'Atterrissage by with the monsters reviews
Liberate your sons and daughters; some are gods and some are monsters. - -for misswhiteblack's Next Generation Competition.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 32,492 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 3/30/2011 - Published: 1/16/2011 - Complete
The Harder They Fall by LadyExcalibur2010 reviews
Outtakes from "The Bigger They Are" from different POVs. Won't make much sense without reading Bigger. Bella is a military widow with four sons, Edward is a confirmed bachelor and career soldier. He only does casual, but she's got lots of baggage.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 57 - Words: 121,585 - Reviews: 2756 - Favs: 998 - Follows: 881 - Updated: 3/21/2011 - Published: 6/15/2010 - Bella, Edward
My Bloody Valentine by SweetDulcinea reviews
I lowered my mouth to his, sweeping my tongue inside to suck up the blood that had pooled there. “And that, dear friend, is because, even in death, you do not deserve Bella’s sweet lips to be the last you’ve kissed.” Darkward-3rd place winner! *Mature*
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 2 - Words: 19,972 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 245 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 3/16/2011 - Published: 10/22/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Escaping The Darkness by JazzMonster reviews
Edward wins Jasper while gambling with Aro to be his "slave". But Edward wants a real relationship with him, but Jasper has never been shown these affections before, and with his past, can he really trust anyone? AH. WARNING- Rape, self harm, etc...SLASH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 47,394 - Reviews: 155 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 186 - Updated: 2/28/2011 - Published: 8/16/2010 - Jasper, Edward
Cullen and Swan: Matchmakers by Ms. Jessica Cullen reviews
Bella Swan has a dirty little secret, Edward reads word porn like an addict. The two connect in a kinky, delicious way. Oh! Did I forget to mention that they like playing cupid? M for every type of perversion in the world.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 166,445 - Reviews: 1314 - Favs: 1,158 - Follows: 593 - Updated: 2/21/2011 - Published: 7/11/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Alley Cat by fortheloveofwomencontest reviews
After watching Alice put up with sexual harassment at work for far too long, Bella feels her lover needs some guidance dished out with a heavy hand. BDSM/power exchange themes. An entry for the For the Love of Women contest.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,447 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 21 - Published: 2/7/2011 - Bella, Alice - Complete
Save Your Heart by Wolf-of-the-North reviews
Jake ran away after he gets invited to Bella's wedding. Sam thinks he needs to go so he follows Jake into the Canadian wilderness. But, what happens when Sam's best kept secret finally falls into Jake's hands? And why does Bella now regret being a vampire
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,689 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 112 - Updated: 1/23/2011 - Published: 12/27/2010 - Sam, Jacob
Bella Makes A Discovery by The Cookie Eats You reviews
In which Bella makes a discovery, and Edward and Jacob have some bonding time... JacobxEdward slash. You have been warned.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,267 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/22/2011 - Jacob, Edward - Complete
Kidnapping Superboy's Shirt by Skylark Evanson reviews
Robin and Kid Flash kidnap Superboy's shirt and Aqualad is just along for the ride. What could possibly go wrong?
Young Justice - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,336 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 153 - Follows: 24 - Published: 1/15/2011 - Conner K./Superboy, Kaldur/Aqualad, Wally W./Kid Flash, Richard G./Robin - Complete
The Bigger They Are by LadyExcalibur2010 reviews
Confirmed bachelor and career soldier, Edward Cullen was perfectly happy with his life. Until a young punk busted his windshield. Suddenly, he finds himself drawn to a beautiful widow with a LOT of baggage- four rambunctious sons. AH/AU - COMPLETE
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 78 - Words: 304,177 - Reviews: 9820 - Favs: 5,958 - Follows: 2,852 - Updated: 1/5/2011 - Published: 6/4/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Show Me by Beautiful Figment reviews
A continuation of Louder Than Words. Edward returns from a week-long job conference and has come to an inportant conclusion in his relationship with Jasper. AH/OOC Slash
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,866 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 28 - Published: 12/29/2010 - Edward, Jasper - Complete
Louder Than Words by Beautiful Figment reviews
Following a difficult break-up, Edward meets Jasper at a coffee shop, where he discovers what he's been missing all along. AH/OOC Slash.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,790 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 218 - Follows: 45 - Published: 12/29/2010 - Edward, Jasper - Complete
Good Girl Gone Bad by Sabi'sSookie reviews
Bella found out her man was a cheating dick... at the alter. One night of wanting to let go changed things forever! AU/One shot. Bella/Paul. Mature readers ONLY
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,103 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 611 - Follows: 152 - Published: 12/8/2010 - Bella, Paul - Complete
blind by candycity reviews
[Harry/Ginny] Sometimes you think he's blind, really. Freeverse.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 484 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/20/2010 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
Leah, What Have You Done? by livebyinsanity reviews
Leah's visit to the cliffs, her private thinking spot is cut off short by an encounter with Emily. In the short confrontation that follows, what will happen that will ruin Leah's life? Forever... One shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,140 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/6/2010 - Leah, Emily - Complete
Bella Is Still A Moron by LovingPipersBoys reviews
Another collection of short stories about Bella, Edward and Jacob. Bella is blinded by both men, their charm and what seems like love for her and each other. Poor stupid little Bella. If you like this read The Bella Is A Moron Files as well.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,595 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 10/11/2010 - Published: 9/20/2010 - Edward, Jacob
The Twilight Chronicles by Jammeke reviews
Things the character would say—if I had anything to say about it.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 9,736 - Reviews: 531 - Favs: 481 - Follows: 135 - Updated: 10/1/2010 - Published: 1/8/2009 - Complete
I Want Forever With You by LovingPipersBoys reviews
I turn my attention to the dog pound and I notice the girl staring at me. She was looking me up and down, her eyes black and lustful, her breathing heavy and erratic. She kept licking and biting her lips. This should be interesting. Leah/Rosalie
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,384 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 40 - Published: 9/28/2010 - Leah, Rosalie
The Death Dealer by LovingPipersBoys reviews
They took everything away from him. Now he was going to make them suffer. It really didn't have to be this way but that's what happens when you kill a wolf's imprint. Dark tale of death. Edward/Jacob. Don't read if you're overly sensitive. One shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 958 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 5 - Published: 9/20/2010 - Edward, Jacob - Complete
The Cellar Door by Ealasaid77 reviews
Edward is done with his boyfriend James. Jasper is done with his as well, he just doesn't know it yet. How can these two boys turn their heartache into something good? This is a very belated birthday present for OCDJen. This is not a one shot.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 12 - Words: 33,399 - Reviews: 285 - Favs: 118 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 9/1/2010 - Published: 8/16/2010 - Edward, Jasper - Complete
Collision by marie0912 reviews
For the Slash/Backslash 02 contest - "We were best friends for five years. We were enemies for almost fifteen. Will you be my lover for the next fifty?" The card that lay nestled with the crushed bouquet of daisies read. A romantic tragedy.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,385 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 18 - Published: 8/14/2010 - Edward, Jasper - Complete
Truth or Dare? by TheFatalIllusion reviews
When unusual circumstances leave the Dark Lord, Lucius and Draco Malfoy, Severus Snape, Ron, Hermione, Ginny and finally Harry Potter trapped together, unable to use their magic, what will happen when Harry suggests the innocent game of Truth or Dare?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 12 - Words: 85,819 - Reviews: 974 - Favs: 2,814 - Follows: 908 - Updated: 7/22/2010 - Published: 6/12/2010 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Whiskey Nights by Gimpy1 reviews
"For half an hour the complicating mess of the struggle vanished and we weren't man and woman, hero and betrayer, just two faceless, nameless people having their moment of bliss."
X-Men: The Movie - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,503 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/12/2010 - Rogue, Logan/Wolverine - Complete
I'd Lie by jewelsbyers reviews
Victoria has always been in love with her childhood friend James. With graduation approaching, all she has to do is tell him... or not. Rated for language, sexual references and illegal substance abuse by one character. AU/AH.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 13,941 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/7/2010 - Published: 6/7/2010 - James, Victoria - Complete
Such Great Heights by SydneyAlice reviews
Edward Cullen is in desperate need of a nanny after his wife walks out on him and their five-year-old son. Bella Swan is a teacher with no job prospects. Can she find her true place in the world while helping father and son overcome their pain? AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 32 - Words: 107,444 - Reviews: 9651 - Favs: 8,666 - Follows: 3,475 - Updated: 7/2/2010 - Published: 1/9/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Bella's Revenge by gypsysue reviews
Bella suffered. Bella hurt. Bella needed the guilty to pay. AH Rated M. Birthday Fic for queenofgrey. Happy Birthday hon. Hope you enjoy my very first Bella Edward for ya :D
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,820 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 8 - Published: 12/20/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Of Slums and Sultans by starfish422 reviews
Slash: Jasper is a privileged high school senior. A fight between his friend and a "blue collar" student leads to a surprising discovery about someone he's lusted after for a long time. Written for the Support Stacie Auction. Explicit sexuality/language.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,598 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 187 - Follows: 58 - Published: 10/24/2009 - Jasper, Edward - Complete
Bella Swan: Kidnapper by Kambria Rain reviews
Um. Hi. I don’t really know how to say this, but I have your kids with me, and I was thinking maybe you would like them back. So yeah… call me.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 74,736 - Reviews: 9141 - Favs: 16,192 - Follows: 3,493 - Updated: 6/27/2009 - Published: 5/15/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Misadventures of Elmo, Charlie, and Lenny by AliceMcCarty reviews
So, Edna," "It's Edward, sir. And isn't that a girl's name?" "Your point?" "Ah, good one sir." "Yes, I thought so." This is what happens the first time Charlie and Edward meet. Includes an overprotective father and a gun named Lenny. All human. Oneshot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,867 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/27/2009 - Bella, Charlie S. - Complete
Boy Meets Girl by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
Complete. They met each other on a subway. She was still wearing the bracelet from the hospital. He still had track marks from the night before. My answer to a challenge. No character deaths or abuse. All human. Alice and Jasper
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 18,156 - Reviews: 953 - Favs: 619 - Follows: 264 - Updated: 3/23/2009 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
Playing with Fire by Jolie en Rose reviews
Sometimes playing with fire doesn't always mean a reddened blaze. Please R&R!
Clique - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,008 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/27/2008 - Complete
All The Pretty Corpses by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
COMPLETE Bella Swan is a siren to the vampires. They come far and wide to hear her beautiful voice. NOT a song fic. BXE Darker side of Stephenie's vampires.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 12 - Words: 26,132 - Reviews: 779 - Favs: 495 - Follows: 215 - Updated: 11/2/2008 - Published: 5/22/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Temptation by FableLiterature reviews
“I Sirius Black, love thee Remus Lupin.” Remus rolled his eyes. “Padfoot, you're drunk, stop talking nonsense.” RL.SB.SLASH
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,836 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/11/2008 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
That Ring Tone by xAmerican Angelx reviews
When she hears that ring tone, Bobby leaves. No explaination. Nothing. She starts to get quite suspicous. Pairing a surprise! Read if you wanna find out!
X-Men: The Movie - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 858 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/15/2008 - Iceman, Pyro - Complete
Peonies by sillybella reviews
I return every year to watch the peonies bloom. Bella planted them to remind me of our love. “Because you won’t change me, and someday I’m going to die.” It's been twenty years since I left. Did she have the happy human life I wanted for her? AU E/B
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 22 - Words: 32,024 - Reviews: 1339 - Favs: 1,741 - Follows: 379 - Updated: 6/14/2007 - Published: 11/27/2006 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Different Worlds reviews
Edward Cullen is captain and quarterback of the school football team. And most popular and respected guy in school. So in other words, perfect. Jasper Whitlock is the loner, the social outcast, the loser; nothing like his crush. FULL SUMMARY INSIDE.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 49,696 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 90 - Updated: 7/22/2011 - Published: 12/23/2010 - Edward, Jasper
the wrong mate reviews
-it's so stupid really how b l i n d people can be- Freeverse. Onesided Bella/Jasper. For some reason I'm obsessed with them now. Ah well. Read if you wish.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 384 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 6 - Published: 4/18/2011 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
the devil's daughter reviews
-her family think she's an angel. when in r e a l i t y, she's the devil's daughter- Free-verse. Onesided Renesmee/Alec.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 319 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/17/2011 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Alec - Complete
got nothing to lose, now you gotta choose reviews
-stuck in a world of magic. caught between werewolf and vampire. 2 who would do a n y t h i n g for her. but you can't have both- Freeverse, my first. Bella/Jacob/Edward. Somewhere around Eclipse.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 491 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/17/2011 - Bella - Complete
Over and Over reviews
'His heart once again sank to the rocky depths as James stepped in and hugged him close. He was once again reminded of how much Edward wasn't his.' Song-fic to Over and Over by Three Days Grace. Jasper/Edward. All human.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,372 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/13/2011 - Edward, Jasper - Complete
Honesty Versus Insanity reviews
You wonder when you will emerge from this sea of hysteria and dementia and lunacy that is now your life. You realize, yes, he was right. Honesty is the best policy - but insanity is the best defense. M-preg. Don't like, don't read.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,845 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/29/2011 - Edward, Jasper - Complete