Re-post this if you truly believe in God.

PenName: Purple 'N' Blue Wings. Wings for short.

Gender: female

Age: 17

I am also Angel from the profile Children of Darkness, which is an account shared with two of the best friends a girl could hope for. Star and Quasar, I LOVE you guys!

Without GOD, our week would be:

Sinday,

Mournday,

Tearsday,

Wasteday,

Thirstday,

Fightday,

Shatterday.

Repost this if you are not ashamed of GOD.

This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

Dear Friend,

I just had to write to tell you how much I love you and care for you. Yesterday, I saw you walking and laughing with your friends; I hoped that soon you'd want Me to walk along with you, too. So, I painted you a sunset to close your day and whispered a cool breeze to refresh you. I waited; you never called. I just kept on loving you.

As I watched you fall asleep last night, I wanted so much to touch you. I spilled moonlight onto your face trickling down your cheeks as so many tears didn't even think of me; I wanted so much to comfort you.

The next day I exploded a brilliant sunrise into a glorious morning for you. But you woke up late and rushed off to work-you didn't even notice. My sky became cloudy and My tears were the rain.

I love you. Oh, if you'd only listen. I really love you. I try to say it in the quiet ofthe green meadow and in the blue sky. The wind whispers My love through out the tree tops and spills it into the vibrant colors of the flowers. I shout it to you in the thunder of the great waterfalls and composed love songs for birds to sing for you. I warm you with the clothing of My sunshine and perfume the air with nature's sweet scent. My love for you is deeper than the ocean and greater than any need in your heart. If you'd only realize how I care. I died just for you.

My Dad sends His love. I want you to meet Him. He cares,too. Fathers are just that way. So please call Me soon. No matter how long it takes, I'll wait because I love you.

Your Friend,

Jesus

obsessed with; Harry Potter1-7, everything Percy Jackson, allot of alternative music, the black magician trilogy and the deamon wars trilogy. As well as a load of other thigs that are different or fantacy related

despise: the twilight saga. the characters deserve to be put into psychiatric care and there is no plot line. this is why i believe there are so many fanfics in such a short space of time. people are trying to improve it. i also despise glee and high school musical, AND PEOPLE CALLING THE WELSH ENGLISH! WE ARE WELSH YOU IDIOTS!

Well, I'm obviously proud to be welsh- another thing you should know... my friends say i should be in a nice white jacket that lets me hug myself. I agree. It would be nice and warm, and the hugging part would make me feel warm. (The same goes for each of my friends... we aren't normal)

i accept all kinds of reviews, i view them as constructive criticism.

deviantART profile: http:///

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today

Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe in the tiune God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

then copy and paste this in your profile

If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...

"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."

My Forum page where I post challanges; http://www.fanfiction.net/myforums/Purple_N_Blue_Wings/2610323/

Please check it out!

KNOCK KNOCK!!
Who's there?
You know.
You know who?
Avada Kadavra!!

Max, I think we both know your parents aren’t missionaries.” –FBI investigator
“No? Well, for God’s sake, don’t tell them. They’d be crushed. Thinking they’re doing the Lord’s work, and all.” –Max

If I were trapped in a single room with two tigers, you, and a gun with two bullets I'd shoot you twice.

Someone call Toys R Us, they want their Barbie back

I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.

If two wrongs dont make a right, try three.

Borrow money from pessimists- they dont expect to get it back!

Live life like it's your last day, love like you've never been hurt, and laugh so hard it makes you cry. Life is beutiful but short, cherish every minute of it.

BITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Racism is wrong and can often times destroy people's self confidence. It's a horrible and cruel way to treat people. To prove that we are all alike, try this simple experiment: Hold your hand up to a light of some kind. You'll see a shadow cast nearby. Now, have someone of a different race hold their hand up too. You'll see, essentially, the same image. Five fingers and a palm. Skin color doesn't matter when you get right down to it. If you are against racism, copy this message.

If you prey on the old, you're a coward. If you prey on the young, you're just pathetic. If you prey on the weak, you're even weaker. But if you prey on my friends, you're history.

When you are sad, I will dry your tears. When you are scared, I will comfort your fears. When you are worried, I will give you hope. When you are confused, I will help you cope. When you are lost and can't see the light, I will be your beacon shining ever so bright. This is my oath, I shall pledge until the end. You ask why? Because you are my friend.

In Remembrance

In Remembrance to Severus Snape…
…A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor…
...without all the red and gold crap.
In Remembrance to Fred Weasley…
…Who fought bravely to the very end….
…And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half…
…And will loyally await his soul mate and brother…
…with many jokes…
...he's got forever to think of them, right?
In Remembrance to Dobby…
…Who was more free and full of love…
...than any elf, and most humans.
In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin…
...the last real Marauder...
…who was not just a wonderful father…
….a incredible husband and brave hero…
...as well as a freakin' awesome werewolf.
In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks…
…who died for ‘the greater good’…
...and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora.
In Remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody…
…who’s motto ‘constant vigilance’ kept him alive…
...and scared the crap out of some kids too.
In Remembrance of Tom Marvelo Riddle a.k.a. Voldemort…
…who was pretty cool, and cute when he was younger…
…but who got his ass thoroughly kicked in the end
In Remembrance of Albus Dumbledore…
…whose past and wisdom confused us…
…whose seeming betrayal shocked us…
…but actually who turned out to be an okay guy in the end...
...despite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing.
In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange…
… because it’s was awesome how Molly slapped her with that Avada Kedavra!
...She deserved everything she got and more.
In Remembrance of Colin Creevey…
…who we really didn’t know too well…
…but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war…
…so he must’ve done something good…
…besides stalking Harry.
In Remembrance of Hedwig…
...Harry actual first friend…
...who lived and died soaring.
In Remembrance of George's Ear...
...may he forever be 'holey'...
...at least Fred has some company...
...a little piece of George, to last him forever.

Post this if you are a true HP fan

The Harry Potter Pledge:

I promise to remember Harry

When someone grows up with no love

I promise to remember Ron

When someone is jealous

I promise to remember Hermione

When I meet someone with wisdom beyond their years

I promise to remember James and Lily

when someone dies before their time

I promise to remember Dumbledore

At the thought of the greater good

I promise to “Solemely Swear That I Am Up To No Good”

for Gred, Forge, and Padfoot of course

I promise to remember Moony

And fight for human rights

I promise to remember Snape

When My heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Narcissa

When I’d do anything for family

I promise to remember Tonks

When someone is hyper

I promise to remember Hedwig,

who lived and died soaring

I promise to remember Percy

When ambition gets the best of me

I promise to be careful

For Moody’s sake, of course

I promise to remember Hagrid

When one is wrongly blamed

I promise to remember Neville

when I stand up for what is right

I promise to remember the Marauders

When a friend says “Call me and I’ll be there.”

Yes I promise that I will

remember Harry Potter

I don't care if you're gay or straight, everybody needs love.
I don't care if you're diseased with an incurable sickness, everybody deserves a chance.
I don't care if you're ugly or pretty, everybody has flaws.
I don't care if you're black or white, everybody has the same capabilities.
I don't care if you're weird, everybody needs to change.
I don't care if you're rich or poor, everybody needs warmth.
I don't care if you're different, everybody is.

"He handed her 11 red roses and one fake rose, he said ‘I will love you until the last rose dies."

"Wedding? I love a wedding. Drinks all round!"

"I'm a Pirate love- Savvy?"

"Of all the things I’ve lost… I miss my mind the most."

"Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas."

"Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!"

"When in doubt, push random buttons!"

"When you talk to God, that's religion. When God talks to you, that's psychotic."

"Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies."

When you were 5, your mom gave you a ice cream cone. You thank her by yelling at her that it's the wrong kind.
When you were 9, your mom drove you from swimming class to soccer and one birthday party to another. You thanked her by slamming the door and never looking back.
When you were 10, your mom payed for piano classes. You thanked her by never coming to class.
When you were 12, your mom was waiting for a very important call. You thanked her by talking on the phone all night.
When you were 14, your mom payed for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by not bothering to write a single letter.
When you were 16, your mom taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you got.
When you were 17, your mom drove you to the mall and gave you her credit card. You thanked her by maxing it out.
When you were 18, your mom cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by partying until dawn.
When you were 20, your mom drove you to collage. You thanked her by saying good-bye to her outside the drom so you wouldn't have to say bye in front of your friends.
When you were 26, your mom payed for your wedding. You thanked her by moving halfway across the world.
When you were 30, your mom fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents became to children.
Then, one day, she quietly died and everything you did came crashing down on you.
If YOU love your mom, re-post this and if you don't, you won't care if your mom dies, will you?

WHAT EACH KISS MEANS
-Kiss on the stomach; I'm ready.
-Kiss on the Forehead; I hope we're together forever.
-Kiss on the Ear; You're my everything.
-Kiss on the Cheek; We're friends.
-Kiss on the Hand; I adore you.
-Kiss on the Neck; We belong together.
-Kiss on the Shoulder; I want you.
-Kiss on the Lips; I love you.What the gesture means...
-Holding Hands; We definitely like each other.
-Slap on the Butt; That's mine.
-Holding on tight; I don't want to let go.
-Looking into each other's Eyes; I just plain like you.
-Playing with Hair; Tell me you love me.
-Arms around the Waist; I like you too much to let go.
-Laughing while Kissing; I am completely comfortable with you.Advice;
Don't ask for a kiss, take one.
If you were thinking about someone while reading this,
you're definitely in Love.Requirements;
Post this again after reading!!
Or you will have a bad year of Relationships.If you LIKE, LOVE, OR MISS someone right now
and can't get them out of your head
then Re-post this within One Minute and Whoever you are
missing will surprise you.
Repost this as "what each kiss means''

"MENtal anxiety, MENtal breakdown, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... Did you ever notice how all of out problems begin with MEN?"

Love your enemies... it pisses them off.

Angry people need hugs (or sharp objects).

Don't smoke and throw the butts on the floor. The cockroches are getting cancer!

An apple a day keeps everyone away, as long as you throw them hard enough.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.

"Doctors say I have multiple personalties. We disagree with that."

"It doesnt matter whether the glass is half empty or half full,just drink it and get it over with."

"I'm not afraid of Death.What's he gonna do, kill me?"

"Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery."

"Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster."

"I’m not paranoid… WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?!"

"Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that."

"Whose sick joke was it for the fear of long words to be called hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia?"

"You know it’s going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor."

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever sung a song you hated so much, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventilated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

If you avoid teen fads and don't live your life according to others copy and paste this.

If you've ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this into your profile.

I once read that only math can save us now. Put this in your profile if you're screwed.

Most teenagers today complain about how fat they are. If you're happy with your body and don't flip out if you eat something with more than 200 calories, then post this in your profile.

If you believe adoption is more preferable than abortion, put this in your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile.

If you have ever considered going to the dark side since they have cookies, copy this onto your profile.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room for no reason copy this into your profile

If with no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, copy this into your profile.

Insanity is defined as doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results. If you're insane, copy this onto your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself . So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiilling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

I'm the kind of person who walks into a door and apologizes.

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just one review, paste this into your profile.

If you have ever stared at a computer screen for hours and hours reading stories that people who have no lives whatsoever and have enough obsession with something to write a story about it have written, and you are one of the aforementioned people, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could have clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you're easily confused or confuzzled add this to you're profile

If you want to learn Japanese, copy/paste this into your profile

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this in your profile.

If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the heck of it then copy this into ya profile.

98 of teens won't stand up for God ... Repost this if you're one of the 2 who will.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with something considered childish for someone your age, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever sat in a class and poked the person in front of you just for fun, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table for no reason copy and paste this onto your profile

If you think being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this into your profile.

If you like being utterly random copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever been hit by a parked car copy and paste this into your profile.

If your right mind has ever had a fight with ur left mind copy it into your profile.

If you listen to and talk back to the voices in your head and find nothing wrong with it because you know they're there, put this in your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

kissing is healthy.bananas are good for period 's good to cry.chicken soup actually makes you feel better.94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.lying is actually really only need to apply mascara to your top 's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first 's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.chocolate will make you feel better.most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.a good friend never judges.a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.boys aren't worth your tears.we all love ... make a wish.Wish REALLY hard!!WISH WISH WISH WISHYour wish has just been recieved.Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...Your wish will be granted

Paper may beat rock, but cannon ball make big hole in paper.

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen!

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Don’t follow me, I’m lost too.

This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob.

-93 percent of teens would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're part of the 7 percent who would say, "What was your first clue?" Copy and paste this into your profile.

-98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.

-92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breath. Copy this into your profile if you'd be part of the 8 percent laughing your ass off.

Sayings...for shirts or otherwise...mostly shirts:

Foxy

The voices in my head say you have mental problems

I will not obey the voices in my head

I do not suffer insanity...I enjoy every minute of it

I hate nothing...just dislike with a passion of a thousand suns

If life hands you limes...make a martini

You’re just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you

Sarcasm in your body’s natural defence against stupidity

I’m nobody...nobody’s perfect...so I’m BETTER THEN YOUUUUU

Stupidity killed the cat curiosity was blamed

I’m not random I just have many thoughts

I hear voices and they don’t like you

Mirrors don’t talk...and luckily for you they don’t laugh

Bravery is just a nice way of saying stupidity

Ambition is just a lame excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy

You laugh because I’m different. I laugh because you’re an idiot

Damn straight I’m good in bed...I can sleep for days

It wasn’t me

Better to sleep on what you intend to do...then to stay awake over what you’ve done.

Try? There is no try. Do or do not.

Smile. It confuses people

Why be difficult when with just a little bit of effort you can be impossible

With a face like yours, who’d want to be human?

Speaking is not communication

Silence is golden but duct tape is silver, so make my day golden and colour it with silver.

Boys are like trees – they take fifty years to grow up

Boys are like slinkies – useless but fun to watch fall down the stairs

It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice

It’s the little voices that tell me to go SHOPPING!

Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception

How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he’s lost?

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain

Work interests me; I could just sit and watch it all day long

When life hands you a lemon, squirt life in the eye and run like hell

When life gives you lemons, read them, then send back a critique... (Thanks Contramancer)

Borrow money from pessimists... they don't expect it back

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some of them just don't have film!

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'you can't fire me - I quit’

The trouble with life is there's no background music

Remember, today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday

Foot: A special device for finding furniture in the dark

When I was born, I was so surprised; I didn't talk for a year and a half

A woman's guess is much more accurate than a man's certainty

Man has will, but woman has her way

The only way to make your PC go faster is to throw it out a window

Start every day with a smile and get it over with

The road to success is always under construction

Cats regard people as warm-blooded furniture

Death is more universal than life; everyone dies, but not everyone lives

Never knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run away! Death really hates that!

Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more

I never cease to be dumbfounded by the unbelievable things people believe

The road to success is lined with many tempting parking spaces

In ancient times, cats were worshiped as gods. They have not forgotten this

We are not retreating. We are advancing in another direction

There are no stupid questions. Just stupid people

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman

It's mind over matter. If i don't mind you, then you don't matter

When everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something

Death is hereditary

There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side, and the right side

When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them. YAY!!

Big girls don't cry- we get even

I’m rubber, you’re glue, and whatever you say bounces of me and sticks to YOU!

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird

Parents spend three years teaching kids how to stand up and speak, and the rest of their lives telling them to sit down and shut up.

I came, I saw, I kicked their asses.

Always remember you are unique...just like everyone else.

Don’t judge a book by its movie.

Do you have an off button?

Chaos, panic, disorder...my work is done here

Do you believe in love at first site, or should I walk by again?

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd.

I’m bringing Sexy back!

Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? I just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda.

Just because you’re paranoid doesn't mean they aren’t out to get you!

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

Truth is always stranger than fiction.

Death is but a door...it swings both ways.

I like the insanity but stop the stupidity!

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door.

Order is for the stupid, true geniuses live in chaos.

Death is for those with nothing better to do.

In the end the world as we know it doesn’t exist.

This is not something to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown, with great force!

Those who live by the sword get shot by those that don't.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party!

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

When life gives you lemons, give them back and DEMAND CHOCOLATE.

When life gives you lemons, give them back and demand cash.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

LOOK MA, NO BRAIN!

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man.

Death is a way of God telling you not to be a wise guy.

That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again.

Its tourist season, so why can't I shoot them?

If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.

Don't play dumb with me, I'll always win.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.

Evening news is where they tell you 'good evening' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Join the army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your kids.

They didn't let me out; they just gave me a day pass!

There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who can't.

A day without sunshine, is like, night.

According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.

All those who believe in psycho kinesis raise my hand.

BAD COP! NO DONUT!

Confucius say: "Man who stands on toilet is high on pot!"

Corduroy Pillows: they’re making headlines!

Do not play leap frog with a unicorn.

Elvis has left the planet.

Florida: We're number one! Wait! Recount!

Gravity is a myth: the Earth sucks.

Horn broken: watch for Finger!

I have the body of a God...Buddha...

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Then it's hilarious!

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail… but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying “damn…that was fun”

333 I’m only half evil

Don’t take life too seriously. It isn’t permanent

I don’t have a drinking problem; I get drunk I pass out no problem.

Yesterday is another country, Borders are now closed.

I don’t play dumb, I always lose.

Nuttier then a fruitcake

Spoon!

Right now I've got amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

When choosing between two evils I always like to go for the one I've never tried before.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Be kind to your offspring. They get to choose your nursing home.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.

Cancer cures smoking.

Constipated people don't give a crap.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Do old men wear boxers or briefs? - Depends.

Don't steal. The government hates the competition.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

I bet I can stop gambling.

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to become a vegetarian.

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

Your kid may be an honour student but you're still an idiot.

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat?

Few women admit their age, few men act it.

Vegetarians taste better.

I do whatever my rice crispies tell me to.

Elvis shot JFK.

So many people...so few comets

Comfort the disturbed. Disturb the comfortable.

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

You non-conformists are all alike.

Love: Two vowels, two consonants, two fools.

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

Pride is what we have. Pity is what others have.

Forget about world peace . . . visualize using your turn signal.

Sex is like pizza, when it's bad it's still kinda good.

Warning: Dates on calendar are closer than they appear.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of "smart."

Jesus loves you! But everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

Spandex: A privilege, not a right.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

At a nudist wedding everyone can see who the best man is.

Caution: I know karate...and six other Chinese words.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Never visit a doctor who can't keep her office plants alive.

Dyslexics of the world unite!

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.

Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

We are Microsoft. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" . . . until you can find a rock.

The early bird may get the worm, but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese.

Follow your dream...Unless it's the one where you're at work only wearing underwear during a fire drill.

Forecast for tonight: dark.

I always wanted to be a procrastinator but I never got around to it.

I don't get even, I get odder.

If marriage was outlawed only outlaws would have in-laws.

If Noah had been truly wise, he would have swatted those two flies.

Don't drink and park. Accidents cause people.

If your nose runs and your feet smell you were probably built upside down.

I like you but I wouldn't want to see you working with sub-atomic particles.

"Auntie Em: Hate you; hate Kansas, taking the dog." - Dorothy

Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.

In just two days tomorrow will be yesterday.

Last night I played a blank tape full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

I'm not broke I'm just having an out of money experience.

My inferiority complex is not nearly as good as yours.

Ignoring bullshit is wrong, bullshit makes the flowers grow, and that's beautiful.

If you can't baffle them with brilliance, befuddle them with bullshit.

People will believe anything if you whisper it.

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good

If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough

Quantum Mechanics: the stuff dreams are made of

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have

24 hours in a day... 24 beers in a case... coincidence?

If you choke a Smurf what colour does it turn?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery

For Sale: Parachute, only used once, never opened, small stain

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

Someday we'll look back on all this, and plough into a parked car.

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he/she isn't there the first time you need them, chances are you won't need him/her again.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo

If you're going to do something wrong, have fun doing it.

You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP

A true friend stabs you in the front

Cry me a river, build a bridge, and jump off it.

I take a simple view of living. It is to keep your eyes open and get on with it.

You can't say that civilization doesn't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.

To some, death may be a blessing, to others, a vice. Me? I think death is a necessity.

They condemn what they do not understand

There are a few ways to silence the screams. Bullets happen to be one of the more efficient methods.

What if the hokey-pokey really is what it's all about?

My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth.

Friends are like stars, they come and go but the ones that stay are the ones that glow.

Caution: Handicapped people will be eaten by crocodiles below.

Out of my mind, please leave a message.

Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.

I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something sparkly.

Hate, a kind of love given to people who are dumb.

Scatter me across the sky, and I'll shine all night, and just like a star, I'll end up falling for you.

If you don't laugh at yourself, I'll be glad to do it for you. :)

When you stressed just... YODEL!

Don't hit kids. No, seriously, they have guns now.

Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

Have fun, laugh at things that aren't funny, and make a HUGE loser out of yourself in public.

Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.

Anyone can make you smile, anyone can make you cry, but it takes someone real special to make you cry with tears in your eyes.

People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers.

Pictures fade away but memories are FOREVER!

Take candy, not drugs.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel it.

My imaginary friend thinks you have problems.

Caution: water on road during rain.

WARNING: Children left unattended will be sold to the circus.

The worst part about being lied to is knowing you're not worth the truth.

If your heart was really broken you'd be dead, so be quiet...

If you're gonna be two faced, sweetie, at least make one of them pretty.

Even the best fall down sometimes.

Dementors: Turning people emo since 370 B.C.

A friend helps you up when you fall down. A best friend laughs and trips you again.

Live your life with arms wide open; you never know what might be thrown at you...

I don't have a dog... I eat my own homework.

I'm not random; I just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL!

Please: Don't throw your cigarette butts on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer.

Weapon of choice, Hmmmm... I'd have to say... SPORK!

Save the earth, it's the only place with chocolate!

Do NOT label me, I'm no soup can!

Elmo watches you from your closet.

People who say guns kill are silly. I'd be pretty freaked out to see a gun running down the road shooting everyone!

XXXXX

If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason put this on your profile.

If you have ever slapped yourself on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

If you are really random put this on your profile.

This is a true story. All schools have a class clown, someone that gets on everyones nerves and that no one likes. There was one of these boys in this one school. Nobody liked him at all. He had no friends, the teachers hated him for his disruptiveness, and the students found him annoying beyond belief. He never seemed to care. One day, he had finally stepped on his teachers last nerve. What the teacher did was make everyone in the class stand up and tell the boy something they didn't like about him. As each of the thirty students stood up and said something about him they didn't like, he only sat and didn't seem to mind. All of the students did it.

That day, when school was out, the boy went home, grabbed his dads gun, and shot himself in the head.

If you think that the teacher was to blame, and that what she did was morally wrong and completely shameful, copy and paste this into your profile. Then, if you would have been the one to stand up and say "I'm not going to do this" then add your username to the list. Antire5, EmoWolves of Shadow, Killercat-nya, Juura99, Ezlyluved96 (aka Renae), MyNameIsLambo, Crystal Prime, Fox of Magic, Purple 'N' Blue Wings,

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent that aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, Weasel Chick, Revenant666, dragonsroar, foxdude33, FallenLex, Soelle, Moon-Freak00, clam theif, sparky-chan123, hittocerebattosai, psychoticKisshu, BakurasLoyalServant, mystickitsune92, Purple 'N' Blue Wings

There was once a girl named Ashley who had a boyfriend named Jack.

Jack was the most popular guy in school.

The three most popular girls were Courtney, ASHLEY, and Emma.

Jack thought of Ashley as OKAY, but he REALLY liked Courtney.

Courtney liked jack also.

Well, of course she did, everyone did!

Ashley and Courtney were worst enemies.

Courtney tried to steal Jack away every time she had a chance to.

One day, Courtney asked Jack if he wanted to go to the movies.

Ashley heard everything...what movie theater and what time.

Ashley approached the movies that night and followed Jack and Courtney.

Ashley sat right behind them.

She watched them get close to each other and kiss...not only kiss, but practically get it on in the theater.

Courtney told Jack: "Do you want to come to my place and skip this boring movie?" He replied": "Hell, yes."

Ashley had peeked through Courtney's window.

Jack and her were messing around and Ashley watched the whole thing.

The next day at school Ashley wasn't there.

For the next few days Ashley wasn't there.

A week later her mother found her in her closet dead...she committed suicide because she had loved Jack so much.

Next to Ashley's dead body was a note.

A note that read: My dearest Jack, I watched you at the movie and at Courtney's house and I will continue to watch you.

I never thought you would do something like this to me.

I really loved you, Jack.

I died for you just like Jesus died for us.

Always with you, Ashley.

Please forward this or Ashley will haunt you and try to kill you because she wants everyone to know about Courtney

Eventually, Jack mustered the courage to ask, “So, Doc. Is there a reason I should avoid using the sonic dish cleaner for this mess?”

The Doctor blinked, and slowly replied, “No, I don’t suppose that there is. Not as such.”

Jack regarded him carefully

“Will it explode, or otherwise emit radiation outside of its intended operational parameters?”

The Doctor shook his head.

“Travel unexpectedly in space or time for no apparent reason?”

The Doctor shook his head again.

“Commit grievous harm upon my flatware? And I include mysteriously painting it pink in that category, just so we’re clear.”

Another shake of the Doctor’s head, his eyes innocently wide, as if he couldn’t imagine why Jack would be asking him.

“Good enough for me,” Jack said, and began stacking dishes.

xxxxxxxxx

Never meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.”

The Mutant and the Witch clothes: Harriets outfit in chapter 2:

http:///night_out/set?id=64780563

http:///cgi/set?id=64781478 - Harriet's outfit for chapter 3

harriet’s dress for Fleur and Bill’s wedding.

http:///item/4E1D9C82/1950s-Halterneck-Purple-Satin

Why am I not surprised?

Set for Prom outfit for Halo-

http:///prom_night/set?id=64731424

Set for Halo, a day at High schol-

http:///halo_school_day/set?id=64733767

Wepon Nine:

A set for Ebony- http:///ebony_creed/set?id=64786083

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care
2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)

Why is it, that the good looking ones are allways either taken, gay or fictional?

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; I'm not sure about the universe.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

Scared to remember, terrified to forget

God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.

Heaven doesnt wan't me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can't fire me, I quit.

Don’t mess with me I've got a stick.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't

I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Harry Potter RULES!

FEMALE COMEBACKS!!
Pick up line comebacks, add to it

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

"Forget the shooty dog thing."-Mr Finch (krillitane) commenting on K-9 in 'School Reunion'

"Oh my God...I'm the tin dog"-Mickey Smith on realising his true role in the TARDIS in the same episode

"You bad dog!"-Mr Finch

"Affirmative"-K-9's reply after blowing up the poisonous Krillitane oil in the same episode

"Daleks have no concept of elegance!"- Dalek Thay

"This is obvious"- Cyber unit 1066/1065- Daleks and Cybermen arguing in 'Doomsday'

"Its like Stephen Hawking meets the speaking clock!" Mickey Smith in the same episode

"You may throw my hat if you like mr Gibbs."- Jack Sparrow

-Gibbs throws hat-

"Now go and get it."- Jack Sparrow in POTC 3 after the battle of the maelstrom and destruction of the endeavour.

"End of the universe, have fun, bye-bye!" The Master at the end of Utopia as he is pinching the TARDIS.

"I believe 'die bitch' conveys my feelings properly"

"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."

"Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again"

To put it nicely, I hope you choke

"True love is when you don't want to sleep because real life is so much better than a dream"

Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn

"Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over."

Laughing is something you do while torturing somebody, slow and painfully

Blood is red, bruises are blue, my dear sweet arch nemesis; a violent death is the only death for you

Don't piss off an Anger Management Class, drop-out.

I'm not crazy.I'm psychotic.There's a difference.

Women go into marriage expecting men to change, and they don't. Men go into marriages expecting women to stay the same, but they don't.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.

There's nothing that can't be fixed by:A)duct tape B)chocolate or C)running it over.I prefer option C.

The reason I'm still here is because Heaven doesn't want me,and Hell's afriad I'll take over.

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday.

Don't get mad;Get sadistic.

My mind isn't twisted, it's sprained.

Common sense is the enemy of comedy.

Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an ART

My attention span is just short enough to annoy you and ignore you at the same time.

Knowledge is power;Power is the root of all evil.Therefore study evil and excel at it.

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.

If you read people's profiles, looking for things to copy and paste to your own, copy and paste this already!

If you ever wished you could live in a story, copy and paste this to your profile.

Chocolate is YUMMY! If you are a chocoholic, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you realize that copy and pasting things to your profile is totally pointless, and yet you do it anyways, pointlessly copy and paste this to your profile.

If several inanimate objects just seem to hate you (STUPID LOCKER!) copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think having wings would be one of the COOLEST THINGS EVER, copy this to your profile.

What is this 'kindness speak of?

Why don't you slip into something comfortable;like a coma.I will gladly help you.

Define 'normal'

When in doubt...throw a chair.

If the opposite of pro is con, what's the opposite of Progress?

Only two things are infinite:1)The universe.2)Human stupidity

There are few problems that can not be solved with large amounts of explosives.

Boys don't fall for me; I trip them.

It's always darkest before dawn...so if your gonna steal your neighbor's news paper that's the time to do it.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

Keep smiling;It makes people wonder what your up to.

Catch a man a fish, and you sell it to him. Teach a man to fish and you ruin a wonderful business opportunity.

Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere

Anyone can write. But to capture an audience with so much power, spirit and feeling that they forget everything around them - that is a true gift.

I can forgive, and I can forget, but I want you to know, you've lost my respect.

Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps, for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between how things are and how they ought to be.

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Reeses Pieces, Coco Puff, mess with me; I’ll fuck you up.

Got a problem with me? Solve it. Think I’m trippin’? Tie my shoes. Can’t stand me? Sit down. Can’t face me? Then turn the fuck around!

You sit and listen while I talk about fictional characters like they actually exist.

Yes I am insane, but sometimes I have these periods of boredom where I have to act normal like you.

They say murderers are loners...OF COURSE THEY'RE LONERS! THEY'VE BEEN KILLING PEOPLE!!

Animals were created to love those that nobody else wants.

Why kill them with kindness when using a chainsaw is a lot cooler?

When I start killing off the human race, you'll be sorry you weren't nicer to me

Neither guns, nor knives, nor axes kill people. The people living just next door or sitting next to you at work are the ones that kill people.

Roses are red, violets are blue,St. Valentine was beheaded, and you should be too.

DRAGON PRIDE METER:
Too . . . high . . . to count . . .
If you're proud to be a dragon lover, stick this onto your profile

If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile.

Harry Potter: Oath

I promise to remember Tonks

Each time time I knock something down.

And I promise to remember Charlie Weasley

Whenever I'm out of town.

I promise not to obey traffic laws

For Sirius's sake of course.

And I promise to remember Lupin

When my heart fills with remorse.

I promise to remember Arthur

Whenever I am at St Mungo's Room.

And I promise to remember the Weasley Twins

Every time fireworks boom.

I promise to remember Lily

When I see someone that holds pure beauty,

And I promise to remember Dobby

Whenever a pair of socks spots me.

I promise to remember Teddy

When I see someone with turquoise hair.

And I promise to remember Molly

When someone tells me they care.

I promise to remember Ginny

Whenever bogey hexes are unfurled.

And I promise to remember the Death Eaters

When someone speaks of dominating the world.

Yes I promise to love Harry Potter

Wherever I may go.

So that all may see my obsession

Because I know what the wizards know.

Kids Are Quick

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Glen, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLEN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLEN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

Johnny was in class one day, and the question the teacher asked her students was this: Does anyone know where God is? After asking this question only Johnny raised his whole arm and shook it back and forth, excitedly. The teacher knowing that Johnny was quite percocious and leary of calling upon him, she continued to solicit answers from the rest of her class. No other children responded. Reluctanly, she then asked Johnny where God was?

His answer was that God was in the bathroom. Surprised and reluctant, she then asked Johnny to explain. He answered, that every morning when he gets up, he hears his father banging on the bathroom door yelling, god are you still in there?

7 Reasons Not to Mess with Small Children.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

97% of teens and middle-aged women would cry if they saw Edward Cullen from
Twilight standing on top of a skyscraper about to jump. If you are one
of the 3% who would sit there eating popcorn, screaming, "DO A FLIP, YOU
SPARKLY BITCH!", then please copy and paste this in your profile.

This is weird, but interesting! If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can I'm one of them. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!Paste this to your profile if you can read this!

Dear Mathematics- I am not a therapist. Solve your own problems.

Warning: If zombies chase us, I'm tripping you.

If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out.

To some, silence is golden and ducktape is silver, but to me, they're one and the same.

Guns don't kill people, People with mustaches do.

If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because you're a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, put this into your profile.

THINGS I MUST NOT DO AT HOGWARTS AGAIN:

1. I will NOT sing “We’re off to see The Wizard” when I am sent to the headmasters office.

2. Dobby is NOT Yoda is disguise.

3. He is NOT Gollum either.

4. I will NOT bring a magic-8-ball to Divination Class.

5. My homework was NOT eaten by a werewolf. Especially when my teacher is Professor Lupin.

6. I will NOT tell the first years to make a tree-house in the Whomping Willow.

7. I will NOT give Lupin a flea collar.

8. Nor will I leave dog-biscuits on his desk.

9. If a classmate falls asleep I will NOT take advantage of this and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

10. Starting a betting-pool on the fate of this year’s Defence against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky. It is NOT a clever money-making concept.

11. I do NOT have a Dalek Patronus.

12. I will NOT teach House-Elves to impersonate Jar-Jar Binks.

13. Shouting “To Infinity and Beyond!” was only funny the first time I took off on a broom.

14. I will NOT refer to the summoning charm (Accio) as “The Force”.

15. “Springtime for Voldemort” is NOT an appropriate title for the school production.

16. I will NOT greet Prof. McGonagall with “What’s new Pussy-cat?”.

17. I will NOT send shampoo to Snape’s office, no matter how badly he needs it.

18. "Potter 6, Voldemort 0" is not a valid T-shirt slogan.

19. Even though they are easier to use and probably more effective, I will not use guns against the Death Eaters.

20. I will not charm Firenze pink and call him "My Little Pony."

21. No matter how funny it is I will NOT leave kitty litter in Prof. McGonagall’s office.

22. I will NOT dress up as Lord Voldemort for Halloween.

23. I will NOT ask Harry Potter if his “Scar-Senses” are tingling.

24. I will NOT call Dumbledore Santa Claus. Even if it is Christmas.

25. I will NOT tell Voldemort to “Get a life”.

26.I will NOT tell Draco Malfoy to 'make like a ferret and bounce'

27. I will NOT ask Aragog how things are going with his wife, Shelob.

28. I will NOT refer to DADA teachers as canaries in a coal mine.

29. “To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys” is not an appropriate career aspiration, even for a witch.

30. Providing Peeves with a case of Dungbombs was socially irresponsible and I will never do it again.

31. Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles marked ‘Firewhisky’. Charming the label does nothing.

32. The headmaster's name is Albus Dumbledore, NOT Gandalf.

33. I will stop calling the Weasley twins Merry and Pippin. I must also not call Ron and Harry, Frodo and Sam. I probably shouldn’t call Malfoy, Legolas either.

34. When Death Eaters are attacking Hogwarts, I will not point at the Dark Mark and say; To the Batmobile, Robin.

35. Remember: I am not allowed out of my dorm when Ministry Representatives are in the castle.

36. Taking Polyjuice Potion and walking up to the person you’re supposed to be and pretending to be a walking mirror or their long lost twin can make them go insane and is not a hilarious practical joke.

37. If I see a Dementor I must not hiss ‘Sssssshire...Bagginsss’.

38. The fact that Draco Malfoy is short, pale, blond and rat-faced is no reason for me to tell the Slytherins that Peter Pettigrew should be paying Narcissa child support.

39. I will NOT ask Professor Flitwick where Snow White is.

40. Asking Snape if his sister’s ok after that house fell on her is tasteless and will earn you a month of detention.

41. Shouting “Abracadabra” can be misheard and start a panic.

42. I cannot perform the Avada Kadavra curse, and pretending I can to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover.

43. When applying for a post at the Ministry, I should not write “Fred and George Weasley” as my greatest influence at Hogwarts. Putting Lord Voldemort is probably not best either.

44. I am no longer to discuss my theory that Voldemort is Sauron’s second cousin.

45. The Bludger is not a bowling ball, and Snape is not a bowling pin. I am not to attempt to disprove this.

If you've ever cried when Tony Stark almost died...

If you've ever googled how to be a SHEILD agent...

If you've ever compared a guy to a certain SHIELD agent...

If you still read fanfics and watch the films even when people call you a nerd...

If it broke your heart when your favorite one died...

...and you cheered like hell itself had fallen when they returned to life...

...Post this, fellow Avenger, and know that if we can’t save the world we will sure as hell avenge it.

Read on if you believe in life after death, or rebirth

Things always happen for a reason right? So why do some people get a second chance at life? Did God think that that person deserves another chance or was it an accident? I'm not sure but does God recycle people or something? Like, lets say that you die young or you're murdered or had some lethal disease. Does God take their memories, wipe them squeaky clean, then put them in a baby so they can have a second chance? If you think this happens, put down your username:

Amberholly, Fox of Magic, Purple 'N' Blue Wings,