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Joined 11-11-10, id: 2611717, Profile Updated: 11-10-15
Author has written 11 stories for Disney, Care Bears, Fairy Tales, Dragon Age, Wicker Man, Misc. Cartoons, Rock and Rule, Marvel, Deadpool, Hellsing, and Ghost Rider.

By the way, sorry for misspelling my profile name. The correct word is Plebotinum (link

Ok, now I'm just trying to fill space. Did anyone notice that Mario the plumber is just like a Viking berserker? He eats red mushrooms to get increased strength (and size), and wears an animal costume to be one with the spirit (raccoon, not bear or wolf, though).

Differences/similarities between Twilight by Stephanie Meyer and Darren Shan/Vampire's Assistant/Cirque Du Freak By Darren O'Shaughnessy:

1. Stephanie Meyer based Bella Swan, who later turns into a vampire, on herself to live out romantic fantasies she is unable to get due to being married and overweight. Darren O'Shaughnessy based Darren (also turned vampire, on himself) to live out his manly adventure fantasies that he cannot get due to being overweight.

2. Edward Cullen is a strict, dominating overprotective father figure to his girlfriend/wife Bella in a way her weak-willed and ineffectual father isn't (incest subtext!). Larten Crepsley and his girlfriend Arra Sails are strict and dominating parental substitutes for Darren.

3. Meyer's vampires are different from Stoker's: stronger than normal, dull teeth, venom, unable to feed non-lethally on their victim no weaknesses aside from decapitation by superhumanly strong opponents plus fire due to sparkly,diamond bodies, have painful transformations and much more appealing to female readers despite their extreme powers. Also super retarded and sissy despite their extremely strong powers.

O'Shaughnessy's vampires are closer to Stoker's, but still different: feeding by knocking humans out with exhaled sleep gas and harmlessly piercing the neck with two claws and healing the wound with their saliva, transforming or 'blooding' humans into vampires by piercing the fingers on each party's opposite hands and mixing the blood, using static electricity from fast running to pick locks and have a 'Vampanese' variety whose skin is purple from drinking too much blood, and are much more manly despite having weaknesses to injury and sunlight.


(Not Twilight Sparkle. The Stephanie Meyer book.

Stuff about me:


Yard sales and thrift stores and flea markets

Spatulas (they're the closest thing to Naruto kunai!)

Youtube videos of cute animals

Nice hats

Music: Lordi (Hard Rock Hallelujah, Granny's Gone Crazy, Blood Red Sandman, Candy for the Cannibal), Blue Oyster Cult (Don't Fear The Reaper, I'm Burning For You, Perfect Water), Don't Stop Believin' by Journey


People who deny that OCD, depression, learning disabilities and other mental problems don't exist

Injustice (its impossible to escape-if Tyler Durden destroyed society in Fight Club, there would be just as many a-holes in his "post-apocalyptic utopia")

Psychiatrists (not anymore). Still, Scientologists are the only thing worse than shrinks.


Rap music


People who talk too fast

People who interrupt me (not because I'm narcissistic!)

Simple Guide to Being a Total Badass:

Even you (Yes, you there. I'm talking to you!) Even you can learn to be a total badass. No matter who you are, what your job is or how wimpy you are, you can learn to be a total badass, just like in the action movies. You'll probably change your mind and decide to let the Kobra Kai students keep beating you because being a badass sucks, but

  • Starting young is preferable. If your daddy punched you in the face full strength and and you first stabbed a person while you were still in kindergarten, then congratulations. You are a a modern day Spartan, and becoming a badass will be much easier for you. all you have to do is not die, and you can beat anyone in a fight. If you are older when you decided to become a badass, then unfortunately, you have to make up for lost time by training harder than normal and with less rest. You can rest when you're dead.
  • Strength training is important. Push ups, pull ups and ab crunches are the fundamentals. Try to do at least one hundred reps. Dumbbells are important, but not necessary.
  • Develop pain tolerance. No matter how hard you train, you will be injured. The pain will be with you after the injuries heal, even when (and if) you survive to an old age. Just stop bitching and take your pain killers or alcohol. Preferably at the same time.
  • Learn to punch. Fuck those fancy moves, the heavy bag and shadow boxing are all you need to fight. Kicks above the waist are like dumbbells: nice, but you can do without them.
  • Only drink hard liquor and beer. Wine is for wimps. You can still drink it, but from a paper cup or from the bottle and only at home, never in public to preserve your reputation (unless you're a rich, cravat-wearing kind of badass. Then you must only drink expensive wine). Only smoke cigarettes, cigars and pipes. E Cigarettes are for hipsters. If you ever use strawberry-flavored E Liquid, just put a gun in your mouth and pull the trigger. The only foods you eat must be high in protein and artery-clogging. You won't live long enough to get a heart attack.
  • Do cardio. Jogging, jump rope and shadowboxing are all you need. No matter how much you smoke, drink, or eat fried foods, you must never ever run out of breath while fighting, even if you smoke a pack a day. Especially if you smoke a pack a day.
  • No matter how much you smoke and eat fried foods, you must be a monster in bed. To do that, just avoid choking your prehistoric monster chicken and wait for a woman to drop in your lap. If your soldier does have trouble getting up, take Ginseng, Damiana, and other herbs, but keep them a secret, like your wine drinking.
  • Never start fights or brag about how awesome you are. You're supposed to hate fighting because of your PTSD. Just brood in a corner and nurse your drink until trouble finds you (and it will!). You'll be doing the world a favor, since anyone stupid enough to start a fight with you deserves a Darwin Award.
  • Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

    Dementor Humour? by Drauchenfyre reviews
    A cold and lonely night in Azkaban...
    Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 674 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 11 - Published: 4/8/2012 - Dementors, J. Dawlish - Complete
    Shattered Prisms by The Rhapsody in Your Heart reviews
    Evil is like Pringles. Once you pop, you just can’t stop. Christy/Darkheart. Oneshot.
    Care Bears - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 842 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/11/2009 - Complete
    The Darkest of Hearts by Angelkitty1 reviews
    Even the darkest of souls has feelings... Even the purest of hearts has the potential for malice... Based off of the 2nd movie.
    Care Bears - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,402 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/12/2003
    Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

    Sickeningly Sweet reviews
    Danny and Christy did not expect to be attacked by zombies on their romantic date, Daniel Hart must learn to use his lost powers to help others. (Currently on hiatus until I re-edit the two chapters).
    Crossover - Care Bears & Hellsing - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,660 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 5/25 - Published: 3/17/2012
    Marvel Vs Nelvana (and other crossovers, crack and general insanity)
    Witness the stupidest garbage ever devised by your truly's twisted, insane brain. A general collection of the worst crackfics, just to show how screwed up I am. Not meant to be serious.
    Crossover - Marvel & Care Bears - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,760 - Updated: 4/20 - Published: 6/4/2014
    If Mok Swagger was smart
    Just because Mok Swagger is into sex, drugs and rock and roll (and a bit of Satanism) doesn't mean that he should antagonize random people. After all, you can still be evil without getting killed. Right?
    Rock and Rule - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,163 - Published: 11/25/2012 - Mok - Complete
    Destruction of MAVO reviews
    Teddy Ruxpin and his friends are captured by M.A.V.O. and are awaiting execution. But their rescue is a wee bit different than they expected.
    Misc. Cartoons - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,003 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/6/2012 - Complete
    Of Flaming Wicker Men and Flaming Motorcycle reviews
    I watched Wicker Man Starring Nicholas Cage, and ignored the bad acting due to the main character's horrible plight. This is my revenge fantasy on all of the horrible pagan women that used feminine charms, deceit and violence to enslave, betray and murder countless innocent men with noble intentions. Rated M to be safe.
    Crossover - Wicker Man & Ghost Rider - Rated: M - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,774 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/15/2012 - Complete
    Epic Snow Queen
    Gerda's true love was taken, so she takes action. By selling her apartment to buy weapons and supplies for her quest!
    Fairy Tales - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,364 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 3/27/2012 - Published: 3/17/2012
    Cat vs Mouse
    The Fade is a dangerous place,
    Dragon Age - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 126 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/17/2012
    A Woman Scorned
    Witness the spectacle of Christy intending to rip Dark Heart limb from limb for dumping her. Now with less Mary Sue-ing. (Currently abandoned)
    Care Bears - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 508 - Published: 2/19/2012 - Complete
    A Woman Scorned Mary Sue version
    Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, especially if she's Christy, intent on ripping Dark Heart limb from limb for dumping her. WARNING: Contains dangerous to sanity levels of Mary Sue. Seriously, she's like Juggernaut, Wolverine and Deadpool combined. (abandoned and complete)
    Care Bears - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,064 - Published: 2/19/2012 - Complete
    Deadpool's Little Camp Champ
    This is a pure crack fic that I wrote while extremely hyperactive. This isn't meant to be serious, so just read and enjoy.
    Crossover - Care Bears & Deadpool - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 799 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/29/2012 - Complete
    A Different Christmas Carol reviews
    Based on A Mickey's Christmas Carol movie. Ebeneezer meets the Spirit of Christmas Yet To Come and has a conversation much scarier than he expected.
    Disney - Rated: T - English - Parody/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 149 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/29/2012 - Complete