Gday, I'm Lampito. Well, that's a pseudonym. Since I write Supernatural fics, people would point and laugh if I used my real name...

When I was in Year 12 (final year of school Down Here before university education), one of my teachers wrote on my report: "This girl will no doubt spend many years in a prominent state institution; whether that turns out to be a university or a prison remains to be seen." She was right. I served nine years in total, with some time off for good behaviour mid-sentence, but I suppose I got a couple of degrees out of it, and if people piss me off I can insist that they address me as 'Doctor', so I probably shouldn't complain too loudly. I now work in an august federal institution. Occasionally I am accused of research.

The evolution of the Jimiverse, in which Dean and Sam end up accompanied by a half-Hellhound half-Rottweiler who farts lavender and is scared of thunderstorms, is ENTIRELY THE FAULT of all the slightly demented individuals who keep encouraging me, and shooing plot bunnies in my direction. Gah, damned plot bunnies. I will pay good money to anyone who develops a strain of plot bunny-specific myxomatosis.

The adorable little munchkin modelling as Jimi Junior the Half-Hellhound, son of Jimi the Hellound and Rumsfeld the Rottweiler, faithful flower-fragranced flatulence four-legged friend of Dean and Sam Winchester, was in fact named 'Chopper'. He belonged to a friend of mine, weighed in at well over 55kg (a bit over 120 lb), and if anything became more of a sook as he grew up and grew older. Nine years on, he's gone to the Rainbow Bridge, where I suspect that if there is a Guardian of Companions charged with looking after pets as they Wait for their people, he's giving that poor angel a heart attack on a daily basis with his antics.

THE JIMIVERSE STORIES

What do I write about in the Jimverse? Let this sonnet from SeaGlassGreen outline it for you...

Ode to Lampito

What fairer and more faithful than the moon?
Who spins us tales of not-ass-baby, pie,
Librarian, shampoo, and greasy spoon?
Lampito, from whose keyboard rubies fly.

Her Sam and Dean are naughty, muddy things
Who try the wits of salvage merchants gruff.
(Whilst crews of denizens wait in the wings
with eagerness to soothe and scrub and buff.)

Hell hound and werewolf bow before her art.
The Living Sex God earns his upper case.
Mere playthings for her doily and dog fart.
She catalogs for us the Sam Bitchface.

Lampito, on your denizens confer
Sweet, filthy tales of Winchesters and fur.

In the Jimiverse, Sam and Dean end up accompanied by Jimi the half-Hellhound, who loves eating fried chicken wings and riding in the Impala, and sneaks into Dean's bed when a scary thunderstorm gets too close. Later, they are adopted by two of his pups, Lemmy and Lars. Also, since I've only seen as far as S5 (as at May 2012), the Jimiverse is now officially completely AU: Singer Salvage was rebuilt, with much bickering about bathroom fittings and slate kitchen flooring, Bobby is most definitely NOT DEAD, and Castiel remains a clueless nerd who's acting as Sheriff of Heaven until his Dad gets back.

OTHER OCs YOU MAY ENCOUNTER IN THE JIMIVERSE

I reserve the right to keep writing Castiel as a nerdy, deadpan, utterly socially incompetent angel who leaves a trail of confusion in his wake wherever he goes amongst humans. In the Jimiverse, he somehow rehabilitated from the Godstiel episode, and is his inept and emotionally constipated self that everyone seems to prefer. It's my Jimiverse, and I'll write my angels however I want, so nerny nerny ner.

Denariel, the Guardian of Companions

Denariel is the angel who is in charge of caring for the souls of pets who are awaiting their beloved owners in Heaven. She loves her job, even though she's one of the lowest ranked angels in the Host. Occasionally, she will have to deal with a 'high maintenance soul' who exhibits 'challenging behaviours'. The Winchesters' adopted Hellhound, Jimi Senior, is one of those souls. From time to time, St Francis of Assisi visits to help her out with her more boisterous charges.

Danael the Senior Librarian of Heaven

In the Jimiverse, any messages arriving as prayers (or p-mails, as the Winchesters refer to them) to Castiel have to go across Danael's desk. She is a Virtue, a very senior and dignified and solemn angel, who will not pass on prayers that do not arrive in the correct format (rhyming couplets that follow the traditional 'Now I lay me down to sleep' pro forma). She also takes great offence at crude language, and is in the habit of correcting any prayers, reports, files or memos that come into her keeping with her fearsome Red Pen Of Fury. Her handwriting has serifs, and some low-ranked angels tell each other that she uses demon blood as ink. She routinely threatens to transfer, resign or smite whenever she receives a p-mail from Dean. She is the Heavenly equivalent of a ferocious PA/combat librarian. Even Castiel, Sheriff of Heaven, occasionally gets a document back for correction before it can be filed in the Archives.

Verael the Fallen, Senior Librarian of Hell

Verael sided with Lucifer when he rebelled. She is the Hellside equivalent of Danael, being the senior Librarian, Secretary and Archivist, ruling over the library of Hell with an iron fist in an iron glove, and probably holding an iron mace. Crowley is terrified of her and dreads the little 'suggestion notes' she sometimes attaches to the files that cross his desk, and he tries to avoid the library at all costs, simply approving her monthly requisitions for stationery without even looking at them. She once took tea with Bobby, and gave him his own counter key and access key for the photocopiers and laminator in Hell's library, and Crowley covets these madly. Verael meets her sister Danael frequently to catch up over tea and cake, where they complain about general falling standards of literacy in their respective domains, and The Trouble With Young Demons/Fledglings Today.

Tiem and Zan the gargoyles

These two were only supposed to be a throw-away giggle at the end of 'Can You Dig It?' but the Denizens of the Jimiverse demanded a story about them. And then another one. They star in Piening For the Ones We Can't Save, in which the gargoyles join Bobby and the Winchesters on the road trip from hell. Includes coffee, flying lessons, and Gratuitous Winchester Nudity.

You can see some awesome fan art pics of Tiem and Zan at http:///1088.html (by leahelisabeth) or at http:///rince1wind/pic/0000y1yk/ (from Bartlebead)

Ronnie (the world's crankiest werewolf) and Andrew (her sometimes beleagered pair-bond)

Ronnie Shepherd was another OC who was meant to be a character with whom to annoy Dean in one story, 'Just Like You', but the Denizens seemed to like her, so she hung around. Ronnie is from Queensland, Australia; she and Dean cultivate a cordial dislike of each other. She is extremely cranky; Sam has not been able to determine whether this is a characteristic of this species of werewolf, or just a characteristic of Ronnie.

Ronnie and Andrew are Old North werewolves, a species that migrated from Northern Europe and Scandinavia, different to the domestic mostly-human-with-extra-teeth species found in North America. They do the whole humanoid-but-definitely-lupine transformation. Ronnie is short as a werewolf, even for a female (she's just as tall as Sam when she changes), but says she makes up for it by being sneaker, nastier and more vicious. Andrew is a very large alpha male specimen, tops seven feet, weighs more than 300 pounds, and sometimes gets stuck when practising his shapeshift, which results in him being banished to the living room where he drinks beer (he has to shotgun them, because he can't handle the cans otherwise) and watches football and feels very embarrassed.

THE BITCHFACES OF THE JIMIVERSE

As all Supernatural fans know, Sam is to the Bitchface expression as Dean is to fornication. He has a wonderful repertoire of expressions, tailored to impart to his brother just how much he disapproves of whatever Dean is doing at the moment. They're all trademarked, too.

Bitchface #1 (Dean, I Don't Believe You Just Did/Said/Ate/Punched/Shot/Had Sex With That!)

Bitchface #2 (Dean Is A Simple Animal Governed By The Three Fs: Feeding, Fighting, and… The Other One)

Bitchface #3 (I Wish You'd Let Your Upstairs Brain Drive More Often)

Bitchface #4 (You Are Injured Worse Than Me, Jerk, (Now Shut Up And Give Me The Keys))

Bitchface #5 (My Private Life Is SO None Of Your Business, Jerk)

Bitchface #6 (I SO Do NOT Want To Hear The Gory Details Of One Of Your Sexual Conquests, Jerk)

Bitchface #7 (You Can Be Impossibly Unreasonable Dean, You Know That? )

Bitchface #8 (You Are Now Officially Talking Complete Shit, Dean)

Bitchface #9 (I Know What I'm Doing, Jerk)

Bitchface #10 (Tonight, You Die In Your Sleep)

Bitchface #11 (I Am Appalled, Dean, I'm Pretty Sure One Of Us Was Actually Adopted)

Bitchface #12 (I Am Going To Pretend I Didn't Hear What You Just Said You Disgusting Individual)

Bitchface #13 (You Are So Totally Gross I Don't Have A Bitchface Adequate To Convey My Utter Disgust)

Bitchface #14 (There Are Times When Your Behaviour Is So Reckless I Wonder If You Took Lessons As A Small Child)

Who are these 'Denizens' of whom you speak?

The Denizens of the Jimiverse are the strange, perverted or just demented individuals who habitually read my rantings, and egg me on enthusiastically from the sidelines. They have been known to raise plot bunnies, fit them with little life jackets, and set them sailing Down Here, where they take up residence under my desk, in my tea mug, in my helmet, in my cupboards, or anywhere else they can lie in wait to spring out at me. One jumped out of the dishwasher once. Another one leaped out of a petri dish. My lunch box is a particular haunt for them. From time to time, they are moved to fan art - some of them draw, some of them sing. I'm not sure if it's wonderful, or scary. Their motto is 'Denizens: depraved, but they get shit done'.

There are also various Visitors, Lurkers, and Casual Droppers-In, and we welcome them too. *waves*