Author has written 73 stories for Supernatural, Discworld, and Twilight.
Gday, I'm Lampito. Well, that's a pseudonym. Since I write Supernatural fics, people would point and laugh if I used my real name...
When I was in Year 12 (final year of school Down Here before university education), one of my teachers wrote on my report: "This girl will no doubt spend many years in a prominent state institution; whether that turns out to be a university or a prison remains to be seen." She was right. I served nine years in total, with some time off for good behaviour mid-sentence, but I suppose I got a couple of degrees out of it, and if people piss me off I can insist that they address me as 'Doctor', so I probably shouldn't complain too loudly. I now work in an august federal institution. Occasionally I am accused of research.
No idea what turned me into a writer of Supernatural fanfics - it's probably my husband's fault, he made me sit through them. I didn't like it much to start with, except for the car and the music. "So, let me get this straight: two impossibly attractive young men, that one's the moper and that one's the man-slut, cruise around the US killing off supernatural stuff and getting concussions that would destroy anybody else's brain and bouncing back like ping-pong balls. Hey, I like him - hee hee, he said 'idjit', that's a good word! Did that actually come out in a V8? That is supposed to be a werewolf? I had lecturers who were scarier than that. My ballet teacher when I was five was scarier than that. Are you sure that one's actually male? What do they live on, do they rob banks or something? I bet that one has panty hose they could pull over their heads..." but I got sucked in.
The evolution of the Jimiverse, in which Dean and Sam end up accompanied by a half-Hellhound half-Rottweiler who farts lavender and is scared of thunderstorms, is ENTIRELY THE FAULT of all the slightly demented individuals who keep encouraging me, and shooing plot bunnies in my direction. Gah, damned plot bunnies. I will pay good money to anyone who develops a strain of plot bunny-specific myxomatosis.
The adorable little munchkin modelling as Jimi the Half-Hellhound, son of Jimi the Hellound and Rumsfeld the Rottweiler, faithful flower-fragranced flatulence four-legged friend of Dean and Sam Winchester, is in fact named 'Chopper'. He belongs to a friend of mine, and is now well over 55kg (a bit over 120 lb), and if anything is more of a sook now than he was when this photo was taken. Thankfully, my own dogs, a German Shepherd and a Greyhound, are not scared of thunderstorms. Nor do they fart lavender, more's the pity.
THE JIMIVERSE STORIES
What do I write about in the Jimverse? Let this sonnet from SeaGlassGreen outline it for you...
Ode to Lampito
What fairer and more faithful than the moon?
Her Sam and Dean are naughty, muddy things
Hell hound and werewolf bow before her art.
Lampito, on your denizens confer
In the Jimiverse, Sam and Dean end up accompanied by Jimi the half-Hellhound, who loves eating fried chicken wings and riding in the Impala, and sneaks into Dean's bed when a scary thunderstorm gets too close. Also, since I've only seen as far as S5 (as at May 2012), the Jimiverse is now officially completely AU. Singer Salvage was never blown up (and if it was, it was rebuilt, with much bickering about bathroom fittings and slate kitchen flooring), Bobby is most definitely NOT DEAD, and Castiel remains a clueless nerd who's acting as Sheriff of Heaven until his Dad gets back.
In Jimiverse chronological order, the stories are:
1. Can We Keep Him? In which we learn Jimi's ancestry.
2. Hot Stuff. Jimi is three months old. The Winchesters meet Jimi, and he adopts them. Sam gets drunk. Dean gets baking. BONUS FINAL CHAPTER: Dean's Totally Awesome Chocolate Chip Cookie recipe. Make them at your own peril, they are ADDICTIVE.
3. Balls. Jimi is around seven months old. It's all about responsible pet ownership, people. And vegetable strangeness.
4. Just Like You. Jimi is about twelve months old. Apparently, John did put The Dreaded Parents' Curse on Dean.
5. Teething Trouble. Jimi is about two years old. The Winchester's dog is just about all grown up, except for one last little developmental milestone.
6. Can You Dig It? Jimi is around six months old. In 'Just Like You', we learned that, at the age of around six months, Jimi dug a revenant out of his grave in Kentucky during a Hunt. This is the story of that Hunt.
Other stories in which Jimi pops up are:
*Prince Charming, which includes Jimi's litter-sisters, Janis (who adopted Bobby) and Joni (who adopted a Hunter that Dean can't stand). Rumsfeld's litter are around two and a half.
*Pregnant Pause, in which Jimi uses his awesum Hellhound skillz for teh Hunt, and also acts as moral support during a very trying time for Dean.
*Best of Breed, in which the Winchesters follow a job to a dog show, and we finally meet up with the next generation, Jimi's puppies.
*In Dog We Trust, in which Jimi's true status in the canine hierarchy of Hell comes to light, and leads to an interesting job for the Winchesters (along with some cross-pantheon tourism).
The Way Of Things is a Wee!chesters story set in the Jimiverse - it revolves around an elderly Hunter's dog watching over them, and presages the arrival of Jimi senior.
OTHER OCs OF THE JIMIVERSE
The Angels of the Jimiverse
I reserve the right to keep writing Castiel as a nerdy, deadpan, utterly socially incompetent angel who leaves a trail of confusion in his wake wherever he goes amongst humans. In the Jimiverse, he somehow rehabilitated from the Godstiel episode, and is his inept and emotionally constipated self that everyone seems to prefer. It's my Jimiverse, and I'll write my angels however I want, so nerny nerny ner.
Denariel, the Guardian of Companions
Denariel is the angel who is in charge of caring for the souls of pets who are awaiting their beloved owners in Heaven. She loves her job, even though she's one of the lowest ranked angels in the Host. Occasionally, she will have to deal with a 'high maintenance soul' who exhibits 'challenging behaviours'. The Winchesters' adopted Hellhound, Jimi Senior, is one of those souls. From time to time, St Francis of Assisi visits to help her out with her more boisterous charges.
Danael in Reception
In the Jimiverse, any messages arriving as prayers (or p-mails, as the Winchesters refer to them) to Castiel have to go across Danael's desk. She is a Virtue, a very senior and dignified and solemn angel, who will not pass on prayers that do not arrive in the correct format (rhyming couplets that follow the traditional 'Now I lay me down to sleep' pro forma). She also takes great offence at crude language, and is in the habit of correcting any prayers, reports, files or memos that come into her keeping with her fearsome Red Pen Of Fury. Her handwriting has serifs, and some low-ranked angels tell each other that she uses demon blood as ink. She routinely threatens to transfer, resign or smite whenever she receives a p-mail from Dean. She is the Heavenly equivalent of a ferocious PA/combat librarian. Even Castiel, Sheriff of Heaven, occasionally gets a document back for correction before it can be filed in the Archives.
Verael the Fallen Librarian
Verael is one of the Fallen, an angel who sided with Lucifer when he rebelled. She is the Hellside equivalent of Danael, being the senior Librarian, Secretary and Archivist, ruling over the library of Hell with an iron fist in an iron glove, and probably holding an iron mace. Crowley is terrified of her and dreads the little 'suggestion notes' she sometimes attaches to the files that cross his desk, and he tries to avoid the library at all costs, simply approving her monthly requisitions for stationery without even looking at them. She once took tea with Bobby, and gave him his own counter key and access key for the photocopiers and laminator in Hell's library, and Crowley covets these madly. Verael meets her sister Danael frequently to catch up over tea and cake, where they complain about general falling standards of literacy in their respective domains, and The Trouble With Young Demons/Fledglings Today.
Tiem and Zan the gargoyles
These two were only supposed to be a throw-away giggle at the end of 'Can You Dig It?' but the Denizens of the Jimiverse demanded a story about them. And then another one. They are:
*We'll Wing It, which picks up on their flight to Singer Salvage immediately from the end of 'Can You Dig It?'
*The Fast And The Furious, in which Tiem describes his love for a very special car...
*Piening For the Ones We Can't Save, in which the gargoyles join Bobby and the Winchesters on the road trip from hell. Includes coffee, flying lessons, and Gratuitous Winchester Nudity.
Ronnie (the world's crankiest werewolf) and Andrew (her sometimes beleagered pair-bond)
Ronnie Shepherd was another OC who was meant to be a character with whom to annoy Dean in one story, 'Just Like You', but she hung around, and the Denizens seemed to like her, to the point where they demanded that I write a story giving the background of how she met up with her pair-bond. Ronnie is from Queensland, Australia; to Sam's horror, Dean once described her as English, which is the worst possible insult you can offer an Anglo Australian or New Zealander. She and Dean cultivated a fairly cordial dislike of each other for some time. She is extremely cranky; Sam has not been able to determine whether this is a characteristic of this species of werewolf, or just a characteristic of Ronnie.
Ronnie and Andrew are Old North werewolves, a species that migrated from Northern Europe and Scandinavia, different to the domestic mostly-human-with-extra-teeth species found in North America. They do the whole humanoid-but-definitely-lupine transformation. Ronnie is short as a werewolf, even for a female (she's just as tall as Sam when she changes), but says she makes up for it by being sneaker, nastier and more vicious. Andrew is a very large alpha male specimen, tops seven feet, weighs more than 300 pounds, and sometimes gets stuck when practising his shapeshift, which results in him being banished to the living room where he drinks beer (he has to shotgun them, because he can't handle the cans otherwise) and watches football and feels very embarrassed.
The stories including the cranky werewolf are: 'Just Like You' (in which Sam gets let in on the Big Hairy Secret), 'Prince Charming' (in which Castiel is a most resentful bridesmaid), 'The Thing' (in which Dean is annoyed when he realises during some man-time, that he's the only one who's never had sex with a werewolf), 'Six' (in which Dean asks further prurient questions, and Sam forbids him to use the word 'nipple' ever again) and 'Wolf in Wolf's Clothing', the much-demanded story of girl-wolf meets boy-wolf which finally shut up some of the Denizens. They both show up in 'Wolf Whistle', the tale of Dean's foray into getting in touch with his feminine side as well as everybody else's.
THE BITCHFACES OF THE JIMIVERSE
As all Supernatural fans know, Sam is to the Bitchface expression as Dean is to fornication. He has a wonderful repertoire of expressions, tailored to impart to his brother just how much he disapproves of whatever Dean is doing at the moment. They're all trademarked, too. As you read the stories of the Jimiverse, you may encounter the following:
Bitchface #1 (Dean, I Don't Believe You Just Did/Said/Ate/Punched/Shot/Had Sex With That!)
Bitchface #2 (Dean Is A Simple Animal Governed By The Three Fs: Feeding, Fighting, and… The Other One)
Bitchface #3 (I Wish You'd Let Your Upstairs Brain Drive More Often)
Bitchface #4 (You Are Injured Worse Than Me, Jerk, (Now Shut Up And Give Me The Keys))
Bitchface #5 (My Private Life Is SO None Of Your Business, Jerk)
Bitchface #6 (I SO Do NOT Want To Hear The Gory Details Of One Of Your Sexual Conquests, Jerk)
Bitchface #7 (You Can Be Impossibly Unreasonable Dean, You Know That? )
Bitchface #8 (You Are Now Officially Talking Complete Shit, Dean)
Bitchface #9 (I Know What I'm Doing, Jerk)
Bitchface #10 (Tonight, You Die In Your Sleep)
Bitchface #11 (I Am Appalled, Dean, I'm Pretty Sure One Of Us Was Actually Adopted)
Bitchface #12 (I Am Going To Pretend I Didn't Hear What You Just Said You Disgusting Individual)
Bitchface #13 (You Are So Totally Gross I Don't Have A Bitchface Adequate To Convey My Utter Disgust)
Bitchface #14 (There Are Times When Your Behaviour Is So Reckless I Wonder If You Took Lessons As A Small Child)
Who are these 'Denizens' of whom you speak?
The Denizens of the Jimiverse are the strange, perverted or just demented individuals who habitually read my rantings, and egg me on enthusiastically from the sidelines. They have been known to raise plot bunnies, fit them with little life jackets, and set them sailing Down Here, where they take up residence under my desk, in my tea mug, in my helmet, in my cupboards, or anywhere else they can lie in wait to spring out at me. One jumped out of the dishwasher once. Another one leaped out of a petri dish. My lunch box is a particular haunt for them. From time to time, they are moved to fan art - some of them draw, some of them sing. I'm not sure if it's wonderful, or scary. Their motto is 'Denizens: depraved, but they get shit done'.
There are also various Visitors, Lurkers, and Casual Droppers-In, and we welcome them too. *waves*