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Joined 11-12-10, id: 2613166, Profile Updated: 09-12-11
Author has written 9 stories for Harry Potter, Misc. Books, Maximum Ride, Saving Zoe, Merlin, Greek Mythology, and Lord of the Rings.

I will try to change my pic every other day, pics courtesy of snorg tees

If you actually read through my ridiculously long profile, you get a prize! It's a sense of accomplishment!(this can also be easily confused with the sense that we both have no life)

Before you do read my profile, if you have read Maximum Ride(you better have) and you do not want Catherine Hardwicke to ruin the MR movie, go to: and sign the petition that St. Fang of Boredom put up! Seriously, go! Sign it! Even if you don't want to! Or else I will find you...

Plz go to this website: . Holden Uganda was started by a couple who had a still born baby (a baby who was born dead) named Holden. They decided to pay for a fresh water well in Africa and have their baby's name engraved on the well. Their goal was to build 9 wells in 9 months that were in memory of still born's, my baby cousin's well was built a few weeks ago and is number 17 since December 2010.

If you hate Justin Bieber, than copy and paste this on to your profile and add your name to the list: deathtobieber, NinjaTerra, alexisshadow101, EchoestepJ38, willow seafeather, maia sky

Join the Anti-Bieber club! we need your support.

Hey, I'm Maia

Here's a bit about me-

I'm 14

I live in Canada B .C.

I read Obssesively

I love to write fiction

I want to be an author someday

I can speak, read and write in french as well as I do in english( I know I'm a true Canadian, eh?)

I'm dyslexice

I love piercings and dyed hair

I'm a total greek mythology nerd

I have 5 animals, a dog, 2 cats, a fish and a brother

My favorite colour is blue

My favorite food is chocolate

My favorite animal is a platypus

My favorite song is Comatose by Skillet

I love spiders, snakes, rats and mice

I'm deathly afraid of Barney (yes the big purple dinosaur)

And finally, I think that James Patterson should burn in hell (If you have read 'FANG' or The Lake House, you should agree)

The 6 Truths of Life

1. You can't lick all your teeth with your tongue

2.You just tried to do the above

3.The first one is a lie

4.You're smiling right now because you're realizing you're an idiot

5.You are going to post this on your page for some other sucker to read it

6.You're smiling like an idiot right now

Things that will keep 8th graders busy

1.Trying to draw a picture on a piece of paper that's taped to the bottom of a desk.(like Michelangelo! Kind of...)

2. A video pack man.

3. The big red button. (on

4. Plastic piping, syringes and water.(you don't want to know)

5. Jousting in the halls.(socials class is fun)

6. Modleing clay.

7. A big styrafoam ball.

8. Fairy dust!(again, you don't want to know)

9. Anything shiny.(sadly, this includes my nose ring)

The ones in bold are me.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. (Um... no. No way.)
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life. (It's really, really small, but yes, I have one)
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.(I just like to dye my hair, me and my friend dye our hair together everytime she comes to visit, it's kind of a tradition almost)
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. (Uh...isn't that like the opposite of a poser?)
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly... or crazy. (Ugly... I don't really think so. Crazy... yes, but who cares?)
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must steal stuff.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork. (I wish was in band, but musical instruments hate me.)
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black (Uh... no.)
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive. (Very naive. But then again, who isn't?)
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party. (Actually, I hate alcohol and I've never been to a party T-T)
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't. (No. they just make good abstract art.)
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social. (I just don't like crowds. Claustrophobic)
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy. (YES. VERY CRAZY)
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser. (LOSERS UNITE... AGAIN!)
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak. (I wish I could draw anime, but no such luck.)
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker. (Not really. I'm a fangirl for nonexistent characters... and you can't stalk them)
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak. (I dare you to arm-wrestle me, or Megan, she can flip her 300 pound judo instructor.)
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.(doesn't eveyone, eh?)
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.(yes, yes I do)
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE. (Ugh. Just because I can't live without it doesn't mean I actually DRINK it)
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future. (Not me...)
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser (LOSERS UNITE FOR THE THIRD TIME)
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy (even trees need to be hugged once in awhile)
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-Sue.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE. (Actually, I'm VERY responsible... just not for the right things >:D)
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. (ya, so are all my other friends who love to read!)
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED. (No.)
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST. (Just cuz the government is stupid doesn't mean that I want to kill people)
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED (I don't WANNA be labled!)
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish (Yup! and proud of it!)
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid. (NO.)
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have no clue (I have many clues)
I am QUIET and POLITE, so I MUST be a pushover. (Actually, I do the pushing...)
I use GOOD GRAMMAR, so I MUST be a snob. (Snob? not really. But then again, I'm not THAT good at grammar, unless I try)
I prefer FANTASY and SCI-FI, so I MUST be out of touch with reality. (Sometimes...)
I love TO LEARN so I MUST be boring. (No. Not at all. Probably the most interesting person I know.)
I'm WHITE, so I MUST be a racist. (NO.)
I'm a GUY with LONG HAIR, so I MUST be a hippie/druggie.
I'm good with COMPUTERS, so I MUST be a nerd/geek. (I prefer to call it "Brainiac")
I'm a GUY, so I MUST love sports.
I'm NOT RELIGIOUS so I MUST be treated like crap until I pray to your god.
I am a GIRL, so boys MUST be better than me at sports. (Some boys, yes. All boys? NO FRICKIN' WAY.)
I am a PUSHOVER, so I MUST have controlling friends
I am a GIRL, so I MUST only be good at housework. (I HATE HOUSEWORK. And I suck at it)
I am not EMO, so I MUST be uncool.
I am WHITE and I like to DANCE, so I MUST be lame (I LIKE to dance, doesn't mean I'm good at it...)
I don't act DEPRESSED, so I MUST be weird. (I don't get this one...)
I am SKINNY, so I MUST be sensitive about my weight.
I am a CHRISTIAN/CATHOLIC/ANGLICAN/PROTESTANT, so I MUST not do anything on Halloween.(I went to church with a sheet that had holes in it on, I was the holy ghost! Get it? Oh nevermind. And I LOVE Halloween)
I am POOR, so I MUST not have good hygiene.
I am a HOUSEWIFE, so I MUST have no self respect.
I consider myself 'NORMAL', so I MUST be boring. (Yeah, I'm normal. On the OUTSIDE...)

Stereotypes make no sense.

Stereotypes suck.

Stereotypes aren't cool.

Stereotypes are WRONG.

10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shalt not sneak out whilst thy parents are sleeping.
(Why wait that long?)
2) Thou shalt not do drugs.
(Alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shalt not steal from K-Mart.
(Wal-Mart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shalt not be arrested for vandalism.
(Destruction has a bigger effect)
5) Thou shalt not steal from thy parents.
(Everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shalt not get into fights.
(Just start them)
7) Thou shalt not skip class.
(Just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shalt not strip in class.
(Hookers pay more)
9) Thou shalt not think about having sex.
(Like Nike says, "Just do it")
10) Thou shalt not help old ladies across the street.
(Just leave ‘em in the middle)















You love hoodies.(who doesn't?)
You love jeans. (I own mostly jeans, and sweats)
Dogs are better than cats. (I love both)
It's hilarious when people get hurt. (as long as they don't die. AFV is awesome.)
You've played with/against boys on a team. (It's fun)
Shopping is torture. (sometimes, if it's frequent. I mean really do you have to go buy new clothes every freaking day?)

Sad movies suck. (mostly, if they're the sappy romance kind. If it's like action then someone dies it's okay.)
You own/ed an X-Box. (un fortunately no, but i have a wii and a ps2)
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid. (Most of my friends when I was little were either guys or tom boys)
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega. (Mario bros rox your sox!)

You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV. (soccer and basketball. When the world cup was on I used to come home from my soccer games/practices and watch it)
Gory movies are cool. (They're really funny when the special effects aren't good then you get to laugh at all the people who look like they're bleeding tomato juice!)
You go to your dad for advice. (I don't really ask either of my parents...)
You own like a trillion baseball caps. (I'm more of a toque kind of girl)
You like going to high school football games. (Not football, but I like rugby)
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards. (and hockey)
Baggy pants are cool to wear. (So comfy)
It's kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people. (with more than like 3 people, ya kinda weired)
Green, black, red, blue or silver are one of your favourite colours. (Not so much red, but the others definitely)
You love to go crazy and not care what people think. (I go crazy quite often. Actually I think I'm just naturally crazy. And since when is this a guy thing?)
Sports are fun. (I LOVE PLAYING: soccer, basketball, rugby, ultimate frisbee and others)

Talk with food in your mouth. (what can I say? I'm a 13 year old girl who eats like a 16 year old guy)
Sleep with your socks on at night (It's weired, I can't sleep with anything covering my feet, not even a blanket)
TOTAL: 20/25


You wear lip gloss/stick.
You love skirts.(you can't do anything in them!)
Cats are better than dogs.(I love both)
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the colour pink.(It burns!)
Go to your mum for advice.
Pink, yellow, orange, purple or gold is one of your favorite colors.
You hate wearing the colour black.
You like hanging out at the shopping centre
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.(cuz strange people touching your hands and feet isn't weired at all)
You like wearing jewellery.(I wear two necklaces, my nose stud and my rook ring all the time and that's it)
Shopping is one of your favourite hobbies.(It's not a hobby!)
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were in gymnastics/dance.
It takes you around/more than one hour to shower, get dressed and make-up.(only if I have to get dressed up, for school like 15 minutes tops)
You smile a lot more than you should.(smiling's good for you!)
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.(Most of them are convers, runners, court shoes and cleats but I still have a freaking mountain of shoes)
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.(again, you can't do anything in them!)
You like wearing body perfume.
You love the movies. (I prefer to watch them at home, I only go to watch things that I can't wait for like Harry Potter and The Lightning Thief)
You used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like being the star of everything.
You worship fashion magazines.
TOTAL: 6/25

Apparently I’m a boy. I must have this whole biology thing really mixed up. My sex ed teacher has some serious explaining to do.


X You own a cell phone.
X You own something from Abercrombie.
X You own something from Pac sun.
X You own something from Hollister.
X You own something from American eagle.(I'm a proud Canadian. thererfore I have never set foot in one of those places)
X You love/like going to the mall.
X You own an iPod/MP3 player.
X You love Starbucks.
x you have been called a brat.
X You hate buying things that are on sale.
X You have more than one house.

Total: 4


X Black is one of your favorite colors.
X You have thought about death.
X You wear chains.
X You like heavy metal.
X You’ve shopped at Hot Topic.
X You have worn black lipstick.
X Your hair was/is dark.
X You dislike preps.
x you’re an atheist/ Satanist/agnostic.

Total: 5


X You can skateboard
x you’ve worn plaid.
X You like Converse.
X You hate MTV.

X You have/had blue, pink, red, purple, or green hair. - (streaks count)
x you dislike pink.
X You dislike preps.
x you wear/wore skateboarding shoes.

Total: 6


X You love the computer.
X You like Harry Potter.
X You are supposed to wear glasses/contacts
x you get straight A's.
X You love/like reading.
X You were/are in band
X You don't care what you look like.
X You have a curfew.
X You always do your homework.
X You never miss school unless you're sick.

Total: 3


X You watch/watched the Super bowl.
X You own track shoes or other sports related shoes.

X You collect your jerseys.
X You have a wall or shelf dedicated to your trophies / awards.
X You have posters or plaques of famous athletes.
X Your garage consists of sports equipment.
X You belong/belonged to a school team.
X You are going/did go to a sports summer camp.
X You have a specific number.

Total: 4


X You like loud music.
X You love/loved the Ninja Turtles.
X You never walk anywhere.
X You wear slip-on shoes.
X You wear/wore Vans.
X You like the band Panic! At the disco.

X You wear band t-shirts.
X People have called you a freak and meant it.
X You love to "hardcore" dance.
X Hair has been dyed more than 1 color


10 ways to tell if your obsessed with a book or series

1.You feel like the characters in the books are real

2.You day dream about meeting the characters in your books

3.You have a freaking melt down when one of the characters in your book dies or leaves

4.You send mucho hate mail to the author when they kill off a character

6.You start writing your own endings to a series because the books aren't coming out fast enough

7. You want to be an author because of a book that you read

8. Your friends tell you that you talk about books way too much

9.You read until 4am

10. You do a mad search for the next book in the series every time you finish one

Does all of this apply to me? Yes

Is it just a little bit sad? Yes

Do I care? No

You know you're a writer when...

- you talk to yourself.
- you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. ‘I wonder why I talk to myself so much?’)
- you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. ‘Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word ‘deliver’ could mean removing someone’s liver?’)

- you don't think that it's wired to talk to yourself

- yo have/have had no or little social life beyond writing and reading at some point.
- after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, ‘Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!’
- you live off of sugar and caffeine.
- people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.
- your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
-, when replying to someone else’s e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.
- you tend to collect the Bic Stics people leave lying around, kind of like picking pennies off the ground.
- no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.
- the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.
- people think you might have A.D.D.
- you think it’d be cool to have A.D.D.
- you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.
- you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no ‘apparent’ reason.
- your friends don’t even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.

- you write for so long that the letters start to float off the page.

- you stay up all night reading/writing fan fiction

-And finally, the number one way to tell if you’re a writer: If you worship English 101.

Copy and Paste this if you're a writer.

You know you lived in 2010 when:

1.You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.You haven't played solitaire withreall cards in years.

3.The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/facebook/Myspace.

4.You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button the TV.

6.Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.

7.As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

8.You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.

9.You think about how stupid you are for reading this.

10.You were too busy to notice there's no number five.

11. you actually scrolled back up to checkif there was a number five.

12.And now you're laughing at your stupidity.

13.Put this on your pro if you fell for it. You know you did.

If I went to Hogwarts these rules would have to be made...

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance pollicy on Harry Potter
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"
8) I am not allowded to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.
9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"
10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand
11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals
12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"
14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot
15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it
16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room togther and bet on which House will come out alive
17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Kinghts of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast
18) I am not allowed to declare an offical "Hug A Slytherin Day"
19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways
20) It is not nessicary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor
21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort
22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy
23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling
26) It is not nessicary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate
27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways
28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"
29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge
32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm
33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers
34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the poition is acceptable as Body Lotion
35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"
36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"
37) I will not call the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearnig an orange anorak
45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween
46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously
47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions
48) I am not the King of the Potato Poeple and I do not have a flying carpet
49) "To concur the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice


1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

23) BRING a picnic basket and ask the other passengers to tea.

15 Things to do when you're in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look".

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream... "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

15.Grab alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

20 things to do at a hockey game

1.Pretend to be a spy and sing your own personal spy music really loudly.

2.Pretend to stalk someone and be really obvious about it.

3.Start singing take me out to the ball game at the top of your lungs.

4.Bring a really loud whistle, sit close to the rink and blow it every once in a while, then watch everyone stop and look confused when they think that the ref blew the whistle.

5.Start talking to a random person then when they ask who you are say "I can't believe you don't remember me!" Then burst into tears and run away.

6.Stalk the team mascots.

7.Follow around the people who have the fan cam.

8.Sneak into an empty box seat and see how long you can stay there without getting caught.

9.Walk into the bathroom then ask someone in there where the bathroom is.

10.Pick a random person and bump into them every time you see them.

11.Get one of your little siblings go go buy a 50/50 then when the people who are selling the tickets say that you have to be 18 to buy one, get them to act all flattered and calmly tell the sales people that they're 42.(It works best when they're 8 or 9)

12.Clutch at your throat dramaticaly and pretend to die while you're walking around the rink.

13.When one of the players scores a goal shout "TOUCH DOWN!" as loud as you can.

14.Throw popcorn at the people sitting in front of you then pretend that you didn't do it when they look at you.

15.Start cheering like a maniac...when the zamboni is on the rink.

16.Wear the jersey of a team that isn't playing.

17.See if you can buy beer without getting carded.

18.Think of 20 things to do at a hockey game.

19. See how long it takes to get kicked out of the arena.

20. Ask one of the players to sign a football.

100 things to do when your bored in class.

Devise a secret code with your friends then hand in the homework in that code

Continually ask questions so that the professorcan’t give homework

Answer the teacher’s questions in slow motion

Answer questions only with one word

Scream random words without anybody noticing it’s you

Continuously yawn until everyone is yawning

Ask your professor personal questions

Every time the professor finishes talking clap

Eat paper

Talk very fast

Call the professor “Mom” or “Dad”

Count your hair

Talk with an accentAnswer questions in a different language

Fake spasms

Pretend to be scared of everything

Draw cartoon characters of your classmates or of the professors

Quote Family Guy

Write out plan on how to conquer the world

Pretend to Choke

Pretend to be drunk

Tap your feet on the ground loudly

Raise your hand for every question your teacher asks you but answer “oh i forgot”

Pretend to slip

Wink at the teacher

Wink at random people

Smack your thigh and smile at the people who look at you

Smile the whole lesson

When the teacher enters the room give a low bow

Pretend to sleep and snore loudly

Drop your pen and say “accio”

Ask your teacher where the potions room is

Ask the teacher where he/she is

Fake Fart Sounds

Ask the teacher for his/her phone number

Spill you pencil case/box on the floor

Pretend to be sick

Pretend to have photographic memory

Fake flashbacks

Tell people “I’m Pregnant”Ask out the teacher

Repeat movie lines

Pretend you are Harry Potter and your scar hurts

Sing your favorite song

Twitter the whole lesson

Pretend to be Indian

Write a love note to the teacher

Talk to yourself

Snort Eraser dust

When the teacher enters the room Scream “next”

When the Teacher enters the room ask for a refund

On your assignments write very small or extremely big

Act like a nerd

Pull a “Michael Jackson”

Put some red ink on a ruler, then slash your wrists with it so people think you cut yourself

Talk in slang

Get into a fight with yoursel

fPretend you are a gangster

Pretend you are high

Bring a bag of flour to school and on your desk make lines of flour and attempt to snort them

Once the teacher enters the room get the whole class to sing the national anthem

Act high

Stare at one object in the classroom for one lesson

Rate the teacher

Pretend you are “Susan Boyle” and sing “I Dream a Dream

Touch a Plug and pretend to get electrocuted



Make odd animal noises

Act like an undercover spy

Write down everything the teacher says while repeating what they say

Laugh Stupidly for no reason

Act as if you were blindSit on the floor and beg for money

Think of the best excuses for being late/ not handing in your homework

Lick your stationary seductively while staring at a person

Begin Cussing at your self

Talk in gangster rap

Challenge your teacher to a rap battle

Pretend to chew gum

Point out the window and say “LOOK EVERYBODY SPIDER MAN” once every one looks say “oh too late he’s gone now”

Write a love note and leave it on the chair when you change period

Play an air guitar

Throw paper airplanes

Say random facts about people

Go up to someone you have never talked to before then tell them “i have this problem for years now i can’t take it anymore”

Narrate your life

Beat box

Whistle at random things

Count random things

Pass notes to people you have no interest in

Ask personal details about people you would never have talked to

Play your favorite song in your head

Think of what the teacher’s life was like

Rhyme the last words of everybody’s sentences

Play paper football

Search in your bag/binder for things you don’t have

Attempt to Find Nemo

Take some take and give yourself a waxing

Find a better thing to do than find 100 things to do when bored

This is the fricking funniest thing ever! My stomach still hurts, I was laughing so hard!

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods..

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion, 'cause you know we all like a rock solid frozen dinner every once in awhile!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box):
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?))

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(Really? I thought sleep aid was for when you couldn't get up!?!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space..?)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious...)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(Guess that's why the guy in my english class who's allergic to nuts keeled over when I gave him some!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...I thought you were supposed to throw them out the window!?)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(But it gives you laser vision? Super strength? Awesome!)

On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets:

"Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems."

(Hmmm... I wonder why?)

On a curling iron:

"For external use only!!"

(Hey Bill what you eatin? Aw just balloni. What bout you? A curling iron.)

Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every sentence

This is the stupid test! 100 stupid things that people do! (The things in bold are the idiotic events that I have done.)

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails (I don't even know how)
3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking

6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself
8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand(I was texting with my friend none stop for two hours, and looking for my cell, ya...)
9. Tried to push open a door that said pull(took us 10 minutes to get into the bay! at least they don't have to worry about us becoming robbers)
10. Tried to pull open a door that said push

11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion(sadly...)
12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs(who hasn't?)
14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave(how is this stupid? it was so awesome! you should try it)
15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair

16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it

18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard. (among other things, liquid and solid...multiple times.)
19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot(all the time)
21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on(I do this on purpose too!)
22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.(thankfully, no)
23. Have run into a closed door
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else
25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it(I spent lik 10 minutes freaking out to my friend over the phone before I figured it out!she just laughed the whole time)
26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock
31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property(more than once, ahhh good times)

35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot(I was 4, I didn't know what would happen! Don't judge me!)
36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on

37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard(this is why I don't eat in the morning, the milk went bad and I got yelled at)

39. Walked into a pole
40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident(and on purpose)
41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house (hasn't everyone?)
42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on(youth group is fun)
43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small(did that with the charm on my necklace too)

44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.
46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it

47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. Have poked yourself in the eye
49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair, (My hair dresser did it, then warned me about it and I did it like 2 days later)
51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil

53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were

56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on(awesome head rush if you do it right after you've been hanging upside down for awhile)
57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.
58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it

60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny or a movie
61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa(on purpose, but whatever)
62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it
63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person(they thought that I was crazy! well I am, but you know what I mean)
65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side
66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions

67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong(dyslexcia sucks sometimes)
68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out
70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. Ran into a door jam

74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it

76. Have purposely licked playground sand(It was a dare!)
77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't(every day)
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people

80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out
81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off(I tried to make my hair silver too, didn't work too well)
82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again

83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back.
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about (How is this stupid?)

85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair

86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone (fun fun)
87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird (wouldn't that hurt?)
88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people
89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria
90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.
91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them(skool is kinda boring)
93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper(summer camp is awesome)
94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story

96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs
97. You have spelled your own name wrong before(it's 4 letters, but still)
98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.

99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class
100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth

Dang...93. How the hell am I on honour roll?! My teachers are crazy.

Cuz I'm bored...


1. Do you think Iggy is hot?


2. Did you cry when Ari died?
Yes! It was so sad!
3. Do you think Fang is hot?

Do you even have to ask? YES!! Duhr.

4. How do you pronounce Ari's name?

Ar-ie, like saying r then e, ya.

5. Do you laugh every time you read the name Mr. Chu?

The first time I read it I almost fell out of my chair laughing, in the middle of english.(my teacher actually asked me if I found something funny, isn't it obvious I do?) But now not so much.

6. -SPOILER ALERT- In MAX, did you laugh hysterically when Total started talking about marriage?


7. -SPOILER ALERT- Did you squeal at all the faxness in MAX?

I don't squeal. But I was extremly happy about it and my mom asked me why I was smiling so much well I was reading it.

8. Did you angrily throw your book across the room when the flock split up?

YES!! There's a dent there now... ya mom wasn't too happy about that.

9. Who is your favorite character?

I hate this's so freakin' hard. Probably Iggy, Fang and Max 2.

10. Do you like Jeb?

I dunno, at the momment I do for some un-known reason, but it always changes. Yes I am kinda bi-polar.

11. -SPOILER ALERT- Were you making a genuine "WTF" face when Max and Fang grew gills?

I was only mildly surprised, after reading mr for a while you learn to expect bizzare and random things to happen.

12. Did you think MAX was better than TFW?

No der. Hannah Montana's music was better than TFW.

13. -SPOILER ALERT- Did you get slightly fed up with Nudge and Angel's slight attitudes in MAX?

Not Nudge, I didn't really notice much of an attitude with her, but with Angel ya.

14. Which book is your all time favorite?

SOF and MAX.(if not only for all the Fax)

15. If the flock had a theme song, what would it be?

I wanna say Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson, it describes mr perfectly, but the flock needs a more kick- ass theme song.

16. Have you ever imagined the flock as a band playing whatever song comes up when listening to your iPod?

Well I have now! Extremly weird image.

17. Who do you think the voice should be?

I think that it should be some random telemarketer who some how gets his phone signal intercepted with Max's brain waves or something. Ya I just re-read that, even to me it sounded kinda stupid.

18. Do you think one or more members of the flock should learn to play an instrument?

Fang would be an awesome guitarist.

19. What bugged you the most about TFW?

It didn't really have anything to do with the other books. It was like a filler but instead of just one chapter it was a whole book.

20.Fax or Miggy?
FAX, FAX, FAX! Miggy just seems slightly insestual to me. Max and Iggy are more like brother and sister.

Date: September 12th, 2011

1, What color is your toothbrush?

2, Name one person who made you smile today:

Abbey, the 2 year old daughter of the faciltator for my girls group.

3, What were you doing at 8 am this morning:
Trying to print my homework cuz I forgot it was due today.

4, What were you doing 45 minutes ago?
Taking pics at girls group.

5, What is your favorite candy bar?
Too many to choose from...but pretty much anything with chocolate.

6, Have you ever been to Disney World?
No, I have been out of Canada a grand total of 1 time, when I was 6 months old.

7, What is the last thing you said aloud?


8. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

Leaping Lizard

9, What was the last thing you had to drink?


10, Do you like your wallet?
That's kinda why I got it in the first place...

11, What was the last thing you ate?
Fruit Leather

12, Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
Not that I remember...

13, The last sporting event you watched?
A rugby game.

14, What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?
Flavor? There's popcorn flavors? I don't know...salt? Butter?

15, Who is the last person you sent a text message to?

16, Ever go camping?

At least once every summer, usually more.

17, Do you take vitamins daily?

18, Do you go to church every Sunday?
Unless I'm sick, or my mom's sick or something like that.

19, Do you have a tan?
Yes, it's very dark at the moment, I'm happy to say.

20,Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?
That's a tough depends on what I'm in the mood for.

21, Do you drink your soda with a straw?
Only if I'm drinking it out of a cup, not if I'm drinking it from a can.

22, What did your last text message say?
sry thy stol my fone

23, What are you doing tomorrow?
Going to choir, at 7am(ew). Going to school(eww). Torturing my fingers (I'm taking beginers guitar this semester, strings hurt.)

25, Look to your left, what do you see?

A wall.

26, What color is your watch?
I don't own a watch, I always lose them.

27, What do you think of when you hear Australia?
Platypuses, kangaroos, beaches, didgeridoos and awesome australien accents.

28, What is your birthstone?
Auqua marine, I think it's a clear blueish colour.

29, Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
I don't eat a lot of fast food, but I like walking through the drive thru, the employs give you funny looks.

30, What is your favorite number?
10 and 38

31, Who's the last person you talked to on the phone?

32, Any plans today?
I dunno, homework, dinner, watching tv.

33, How many states have you lived in?
I live in Canada, so none.

34, Biggest annoyance right now?
Nothing at the moment.

35, Last song listened to?

I'm listening to Astronaut by Simple Plan.

36,Can you say the alphabet backwards?
I can get to Z

37, Do you have a maid service clean your house?
Yes, it's called 'mom'.

38, Favorite pair of heels?
Ya cuz I love twisted ankles! (note sarcasm)

39, Are you jealous of anyone?
Not really...

40, Is anyone jealous of you?
Not that I know of...

41, Do you love anyone?
Depends on what kind. Like I love my friends and family, then yes. In love, not at the moment

42, Do any of your friends have children?
Ya, but they're over 25.

44, Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
Hmmmm... I don't think so...

45, Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
Yup, and other variations like: hi, hey, bonjour, and hellos. And on Monday morning: bite me, go to hell, it's f* Monday morning! How the hell is it good?(I'm not a morning person)

46, What color is your car?
Family car is red, my feet are tan and my bike is blue silver and black.

47, Do you like cats?
I have one, so ya.

48. Are you thinking about someone right now?

49, Have you ever been to Six Flags?
I have been out of Canada ONCE!

50, How did you get your worst scar?
I have a bad burn scare on the back of my thigh, I backed into the oven. I'm so smart right.

51, What is your real name?
Maia Sky(and you thought that was just my user name!) you don't need to know my last name.

52, Are you a girl or guy?

53, Where do you plan on going for college?
TRU, VCAD, New Image or University of Windsor.

54, What is the last book you read?

Along Came a Spider by James PattersonI'm reading City Of Ashes by Cassandra Claire and Cat and Mouse by JP again.

55, What is on your TV right now?

I think my dad's watching M.A.S.H. but I'm not sure.

56, What is the last thing you have said and to who?
Sure, to my mom.

57, Where are you?
My room.

58, What was the last thing you thought?
"What was the last thing you thought?"

57, What would you do with a million dollars?
Buy books, art supplies, and a new laptop. Then I'd give the rest to charity.

58, Grab the closest thing next to you. What was it?
A pillow

59, What are you writing right now?

60, What is it like being you?
I think it's fun. Some people might find it annoying.

61, What are your thoughts on writing?
It's awesome, unless people are telling you what you have to write about, then you're creativity is to constricted and it's boring.

A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain.

A best friend takes yours and says, "Run, loser, run!

A friend wipes your tears when you're rejected.

A best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A friend bails you out of jail.

A best friend is the one sitting next to you saying, "That was fun! Let's do it again once we get out of this dump."

A friend talks you out of running away.

A best friend asks, "Do you want help? I could give your parents death glares when you're gone."

A friend takes the blame for you.

A best friend screams, "She did it! She did it! I'm innocent!"

A friend asks you to take them for a ride in your new car and understands if you say no.

A best friend steals your keys and takes it for a joyride, and the police bring it back at midnight the next week looking like an eighty-year-old thing that was just pulled out of the Hudson.

A friend is happy for you if you're pregnant.

A best friend groans and asks, "Who's the unlucky parent then?"

A friend helps you when you fall.

A best friend rolls around laughing and trips you again.

A friend helps you find your way when you’re lost.

A best friend is the one putting magnets near your compass, stealing your map, and giving you wrong directions.

A friend helps you learn to drive.

A best friend helps you roll your car into the lake to collect the insurance.

A friend borrows your stuff and gives it back in a few days.

A best friend loses it and says, “My bad, here’s a tissue.”

A friend knocks on your door.

A best friend barges in and yells "I’M HOME!"

A friend will go to a concert with you.

A best friend will kidnap the band with you.

A friend asks for something to eat.

A best friend helps herself and is the reason you never have any food.

A friend asks you for your number.

A best friend asks you for her number.

A friend hides you from the cops.

A best friend is the reason they're after you in the first place.

A friend stops you from publicly making an idiot of yourself.

A best friend is up there making an idiot of herself with you.

Friends: Fade

Best Friends: Are 4 Ever

This is a poem that a couple girls in my cabin at camp wrote for chapel cuz our them was friendship.

The lines in bold are what one is saying, the lines in italiques are what the other is saying.

We are friends

You cry

I cry

You smile

I smile

You fall in a mud puddle

I jump in after you

You jump off a bridge

I will miss you

Really relevant where I live since people seem to love jumping off one of the really tall bridges over the river. Even after someone died doing it a couple years ago.

My fav quotes

I feel like pudding, pudding with nerve endings, pudding in great pain. -Iggy, Maximum Ride

I vill destroy the snickahs bahs!- Gazzy, SOF- Maximum Ride

Fang: Go pick a tree, I'll carve our initials into it!

Max: If you're not careful I'll carve something into you!- Fang and Max, Maximum Ride

They're taking the hobbits to Isenguard!- Legolas, Lord of the Rings (If you don't get it, type it into youtube)

Legolas: I feel a slight tingling in the tips of my fingers. I think it's affecting me!

Gimli*spilling beer down his beard* I told you! Can't hold his liquor!*goes crossed eyed and falls over backwards*-Legolas and Gimli- Lord of the Rings

Rules are just helpful guidelines for stupid people.-House

My precious!-Gohlum, Lord of the Rings

Of course it's all in your head! But why on earth should that mean that it isn't real?-Dumbldore, Harry Potter

Ron:It's not funny! I'm in love with her!

Harry: Alright you're in love with her! Have you ever actually met her?

Ron: No...Do you think you could introduce us?-Ron and Harry, Harry Potter

I think that Pastor Calvin is hot. That's about as far as my religious conviction goes.- Vee, hush,hush

I love to watch people cry when I crush they're dreams!-some contestant dude off of survivor

You're only as tall as your heart will let you be, and you're only as small as the world will let you seem.-On The Brightside by Nevershoutnever!

I have a sexually confused fish on facebook.-Brynja

Meg: He's 11!

Julie:No he's 14!




15! And that's my final offer!

Me:You guys do know that Alice isn't real, right? And you can't bet on an age!- My friends, Meg and Julie, fighting over the age of an LR character that we made up.

I have a hyperventilating hedgehog!-My friend Bryn(she actually does have a hyperventilating hedgehog)

Brynja: I thought that you said you didn't care!

Me: Yes, but then I threatened to kill you with a pencil. That would be your cue to stop.- Me and Bryn in socials class after Bryn drew on my notes.

I just thought of ten ways to kill you with a pencil.- Me before the quote above.

I'm your friend, I'm here to annoy you.-Brynja

Sam: You know, pudding is made out of bone marrow.

Meg and Julie: Ew.

Me*as I take a big bite of pudding* Great!-Sam, Julie, Meg and Me at lunch

NO! NOT THE ENCHANTED BUNNY!-Raj, the Big Bang Theory

Oh, I broke the internet.-Eric, NCIS Los Angeles

Gosh, guys are so cute with all the alpha male stuff! It's adorable!-Max, ANGEL (No joke, Max actually thinks this about Dylan and Fang un sarcastically, and not while under the influence of valium)

THIS IS SPARTA!!!!-The people in my group at Naarai Kir (we all stood on a bench on the street and screamed that as loud as we could)

How many yogurts did you eat?

How many are in a pack?


Then 24.-Aidan and Paz

I'm not a bitch! I'm a bastard!

I'm a bastard too!-Bridgit and Christine

Argument between Meg and Julie:

The moth is better than Legolas!

NO! Legolas is better!




Purple doesn't suit your complexion!(apparently this is the new insult of choice)

Go die in a hole with oriki!-At this point we had to pull them apart cuz it was during intermission at a concert and they were getting really loud.

Excuse me, where's Cowboy Coffee?-Alex(to the service guy at cowboy coffee)

'Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.'

Wow! That was a happy song!-Me at choir

Teacher: Why are you late?

Student:It will be in the gouvernment exam!

Teacher: What?

Student:\Well that's your excuse when you give us a ton of homework.- What we decided would happen if meg was late for maths.

I dunno where these are from:

People say that guns don't kill people, people kill people, but if you just stand there and yell "BAM!" you won't kill very many people. So guns help.

"Doctors say I have a multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that."

"A good girl is a bad girl who hasn't been caught."

"Flying is simple, just throw yourself at the floor and miss."

"That, my children, is called a wall. But beware the wall is solid. Yes be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Believe me, children, for I have attempted this many times before."

"I'm a ninja."

"No you're not."

"Did you see that?

"See what?


You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it.

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

Live dangerous…Run with scissor

There are all kinds of art. There's the art of drawing, the art of dancing, the art of science, and of course the refined art of being an idiot

You can't fix stupid.

I’m not saying you’re stupid, I’m just implying it.

SCREW HUGS! I'm gonna tackle you when I see you!


"Somone really old(whose dead), did someting really boring, a really long time ago." That's pretty much the juste of history.

Original Insults

Purple doesn't suit your complexion!

Your mother was a hampster!

Go die in a hole with oriki!

Justin Bieiber wants to meet you!

You are a sexually confused fish!

I will fart in your general direction!

Why doesn't McDonald's sell hotdogs?
If you dug a hole straight through the Earth and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity?
Is it rude for a deaf person to sign with food in his/her mouth?
When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?
Are eyebrows considered facial hair?
Why is bologna round and bread rectangular?
If you go down the wrong lane in reverse, is it still legal?
Why is vanilla ice cream white and vanilla extract brown?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches?
Why are the little styrofoam pieces called PEANUTS? Where the heck did they get THAT one from?
Why does the Easter BUNNY carry eggs? Rabbits are mammals.
Where the heck did the name Jolly Ranchers come from?
Why do they always do tests of the emergency broadcast system, but didn't use it on 9/11?
Who on earth was Sadie Hawkins and why did she invent that cruel dance?
Are mattresses ever NOT on sale?
Are earthquakes on Mars called Marsquakes?
How do you handcuff a one-armed man?
What happens when you ask "Is it just me, or did that really just happen?" and everyone says "it's just you"?
Similarly, what happens when someone is asked to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, and they say no?

Cuz I can't sleep...

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)

2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend your cool... and alot of the songs fit with the setting

Opening Credits: Deceiver of Fools by Within Temptation (Wow, long opening. fyi, it's like a 7 minute song.)

Waking Up: Hundred by The Fray(Ironically that's the first song that came on when I got up this morning)

First Day At School: Beat It by Fallout Boy(someone's not happy to be going back)

Falling In Love: Saviour by Skillet (it fits...kinda)

Fight Song: Here we go again by Paramore(I would have picked this one for break up, but it could fit)

Breaking Up: piggy bank by Nevershoutnever!(apparently it was a bad relationship...this is a very happy song about love)

Prom night: Party Poison by My Chemical Romance(Awesome, it fits)

Life: Someday by Nickleback (fits)

Mental Breakdown: Turn it Off by Paramore (Perfect)

Driving: Over My Head by The Fray

Flashback: What If by SafetySuit (Ironic)

Getting back together: Disenchanted by My Chemical Romance(I LoVe this song)

Wedding: Mind Reader by VersaEmerge(interesting...)

Birth of Child: Lacrymosa by Evanescence(poor kid...)

Final Battle: 27 by Fallout Boy(odd)

Funeral Song: Ice Queen(acoustic version) by Within Temptation(haha! This is actually the song that I want played at my funeral!)

Final Credits: Sooner or Later by Breaking Benjamin(fitting, actually)

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won't repost it?
Repost this in your profile if you truly believe in God.
PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what,
and if you stand up 4 him he will stand up for you

(This is true God is always with you)

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted, "Toma SOta Balcu", as he buried her.Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night, she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. (Do it Hayley do it)

3) D0NT GET MAD (L0OK AT #15)
5) FIRST (L0OK AT #2)
12) S0RRY (L0OK AT #8 )
(Put it on your page if you laughed)

A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see that the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

Dear, Dad.
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing to you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a caravan in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Your son, Joshua.

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table.

Call when it is safe for me to come home...

Copy and paste this onto your profile if you thought that it was hilarious!

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought your paper would protect you."

Copy and paste this onto your profile if you're seriously considering doing that the next time you play rock,paper,scissors.

(+'.'+) IF YOU HATE

(='.'=) This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination


(゚、 。 7
l、 ~ヽ

Kitty is Bunny's nemesis. Or evil accomplice. Nobody really knows.

Either way, copy and paste Kitty as well, or Bunny will get lonely!

95% Of teens Would be on edge if Robert Patterson were on the ledge of a tall building ready to jump, if you are 1 of the 5% who would yell "JUMP!!JUMP!!JUMP!!" while holding a camera, Copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are SO obsessed with Maximum Ride that it is not even FUNNY anymore, post this in your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane cut and paste this on your profile.

If you ever fallen over laughing for no reason cut and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever cut and pasted cut and paste this on your profile.

65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read, if you are part of the 35 percent who read more that watch TV then cut and paste this to your Profile.

If the voices actually DO talk to you, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever loved some one that isn't real, copy paste this into your profile

If you think that bunnies are going to take over the world, copy paste this into your profile

If you have ever stayed up all night reading fanfiction, copy paste this into your profile

My friend's the kind of person that breaks the silence at a funeral by screaming "KUNG POW CHICKEN."

If you have ever done something stupid at school, copy paste this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

Quesadillas are good. I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this into your profile.(actually, me and all my fiends are insane!)

If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile

Copy and paste this into your profile if you and your BFFs watch movies just to laugh at them and make fun of them.

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

Paste this in your profile if you're a procrastination addict.(like 24/7! :-)

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile:D

When life gives you lemons, make grapefruit juice, and let life wonder how the heck you did that!(or just keep 'em cause hey! they're free lemons)

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.(Total chocoholic!)

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing (better) to do... (ya, ff addicts have no life)

If you have ever laughed at something that you wouldn't normally laugh at because it was really late at night, copy this into your profile

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious preppy people PLEASE copy this in your profile.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

Even when you can’t see him GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile.

nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If keyboards hate you copy and paste this into your profile! (Especially the FREAKING CAPS LOCK!)

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped when there was a "watch your step" sign copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever ran into a mirror, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile.(the gym teacher thought I had a concusion!)

If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.

If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.

If you have ever want to scream to the world that you hate/like someone copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile.

If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then copy and paste this in your profile.

If you think duct tape can fix anything copy and paste this on you profile.

If you think that scissors can fix anything that duct tape can't copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever played CARROT LAMA ROCK copy and paste this on your profile

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs cpoy and psate it in yuor pofrile

If you actually thought that some of the words that were longer than 3 letters were spelt correctly copy and past this into your profile.(because of dyslexia or you just really suck at spelling)

Good questions and random observations

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.

Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...

In school we learn that teenagers need more sleep than adults, yet school still starts at eight thirty in the morning.

whos cruel idea was it for lisp to have and s in it?

are children who act in 'R' rated films allowed to see them?

If the sky is the limit then what is space, over the limit??

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Isn't Disneyland just a people trap operated by a mouse?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are crazy?

Why is it when some products you have to turn upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn down?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?

If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?

If our body temperature is normally 98.6 degrees, how come when it's 98 degrees outside, no one is comfortable?

Why is it the TWELVE days of Christmas when there is only one day of Christmas?

Since a running back runs forward, why is he called a running back?

Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?

If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?

When a boy is named after his dad, he is called 'Junior,' but what do
you call a girl that is named after her mother?

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

In India women-but not men- can marry goats

You can keep cows in a shed in the Northern territories, you can keep chickens in a shed but it's illegal to keep cows and chickens in the same shed.

Cigarettes are legal in Nicaragua, cigarette lighters aren't.

In Vancouver, BC the speed limit for tricycles is 10 miles per hour.

In China boxing is illegal (too brutal), capital punishment isn't.

If all of the Acme stuff doesn't work, why does Wile Coyote keep buying their products?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from
strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that ?

Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do?

Why do people call it an ATM machine, but they know it's really saying Automated Teller Machine Machine?

Why do people say PIN number when that truly means Personal Identification Number Number?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Death is hereditary.

There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.

There are four sides to a triangle: the right side, the left side, the bottom side, and the pointy side.

An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance?

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Bananas should be purple

I love the 'I can't beleive it's not butter'





If you believe that fishies is a word copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think spectroheliokinomatograph is a word copy and paste this on your profile.

Some really funny things!

My friend put her paper on eye disorders in the middle of her ff story! (allreader-Julianna AKA:Julie or Jub-Jub)

My other friend is afraid alpacas but not lamas (Rajn Seafeather-Brynja AKA: Bryn)

I love french immersion but not french classs. (Verbes!*runs away screaming*)

I believe that poipel cows are real!

Another one of my friends spent like 2 minutes leaving a message on her mom's answering machine on my cell then realized that she hadn't pressed the dial button!(willow seafeather-Megan AKA: Meg or Nut Meg)

I have a picture of a giraff who died from eating a light bulb!

I just spent like 10 minutes trying to spell giraff! (I am soooooooooooo dyslexic)

The first rule of duct tape: Duct tape fixes everything, scissors fix everything that duct tape can't, everybody knows that except for the people who don't!

There is a national chocolate cupcake day! (October 18, wich just happens to be Nut Meg's birthday)

My birthday just happens to land on weed appreciation day! (March 28)

Please Read This Extremly Serious And Extremly Important Announcement With The extremly Long Header That Says Extremly Way Too Much, Regarding:

Writers Block

Writer's block is a very serious disease that can be contracte by any writer at any time. Writer's block does not discriminate against age, gender or race. Writer's block is very serious and must be treated immediately by writer's block specialists. Writer's block is also extremly contagious, so if you or someone you know have or have been exposed to writer's block you must see a specialist immediately.

Symptoms of writer's block:

Cravings for chocolate


Grouchiness (yes it is a word)

Tierdness(yes, also a word, well not according to spell check but whatever)

Lack of concentration or motivation

Frequently falling a sleep in class

Frequently getting caught falling asleep in class

Causes of writer's block:

Annoying siblings

Sleep deprivation

Annoying parents

In secure writers syndrom (ISWS)

Electronic, internet, fan fiction or book deprivation (AKA being grounded from: fan fiction, the internet, books (yes it seriously has happened) or electronic dvices)

Excessive overload of GISIT (ackronime for Grown-up Imposed yet Self Inflicted Torture, AKA homework (yes I did steal that from MR)

Chocolate withdrawl

Although there is no real cure for writer's block, there are some ways that you can lessen the severity of the diseas and in some cases, make it dissapear all together.

Treatments for writer's block:


Eat chocolate

Get away from annoying siblings

Eat chocolate

Get away from annoying parents

Eat chocolate

Read a book

Eat chocolate

Go on fan fiction

Eat chocolate

Play a video game

Eat chocolate

Watch TV

Eat chocolate


Eat chocolate

Exercise/ play a sport

Eat chocolate

Make up excuses for not doing your homework

And...Oh ya! Eat chocolate!

Please share this, and inform people about the monstrous disease that is writer's block.

Foot Note: Foot notes serve absolutely no purpose.

Okay, so because I think that word problems for math in the text book that are supposed to apply to real life are stupid, I decided to make up my own!

If you climb mount Everest and you are attacked by a rabid polar bear you have a 50% chance of living. If you fall a sleep in french class and when your teacher catches you, they suddenly go crazy there is a 25% percent chance that your teacher will not kill you. If you walk into a dark room there is a 60% chance that there will be ninjas in that room, there fore you have a 40% chance of living. If all of these things happened to you what is the probability that you would live?

Answer: Your chances of living are 5%.

Okay so there's my defiance to math! If your learning about probability in math plz show this problem to your math class! And if all of this happens to you, good luck!

-Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.


I am the boy who never finished school because I was called a fag every day.

I am the girl who got kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I was a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because no one will hire a transsexual.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they wouldn't allow my partner of 27 years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up to the nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before my high school graduation. It was just too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one bedroom for two men.

I am the one person who does not know which bathroom to use so the management doesn't come for me.

I am the mother who is not even allowed to see the children I bore, nursed and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the father who never hugged my son because I grew up afraid to show affection to males.

I am the Home Ec teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians could teach it.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed the doors to my kind. (Sadly true in some cases, but one of the ministers at my church is gay so not everywhere)

I am the girl ashamed to tell my own friends that I am a lesbian because they make fun of them.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men said they needed to 'teach me a lesson'.

I am the person who needs to hide what this world needs the most: love.

Seriously, people. Gay people are just like everyone else; they want love. But because minorities are discriminated, they are usually unable to find it. I have gay friends. I have friends with gay parents. I know gay people. It's not like they act differently or think differently than anyone else; is it really so bad to love someone?



Mom...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mom I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mom when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mom I had to go, but mom please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mom please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mom I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mom tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mom why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mom warn the others, mom I left without a kiss
And mom tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mom I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mom please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mom I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mom listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mom I wanted to live
But mom I must go now
The time is getting late
Mom tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mom I always have
I know you know it's true
Mom all I wanted to say is "mom I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care
2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen Teetering On The Brink Of Insanity Past The Point Of No Return ManLife Sucks, Avatarwolf lilly1542, Itachifanchick, Silver-Arrow-Kitsune-Girl, Dark Wolf on a full Blood, Xx-Erin-xX-AthrunxCagallifan, Laurel Ale, Maia Sky

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with like a thousand different books, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, The Lonely Teenager, AliceDaSpaz, Skittle.Rocke, Silent_Broken_Heart, St. Fang of Boredom, flyaway111, Faith Everdeen, Maia Sky

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Hostile Encounters by Vamps-with-Wings reviews
Maximum and The Shadow; the two best street fighters of their generation. Their rivalry is fueled full force when the biggest brawl in years is set to go down. For the first time they will meet... and only one will be victorious. FAX!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 32 - Words: 78,143 - Reviews: 982 - Favs: 328 - Follows: 138 - Updated: 12/2/2012 - Published: 7/18/2010 - Max, Fang - Complete
Secrets Unkept by Fanged reviews
Maximum Ride is new to school. She meets Nudge, Ella, Iggy, and Gazzy, and Fang, the instantly become friends. But, when Max and Fang look like they might really get together, Max has to spill her secret: she's being abused. T for violence and language
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 40 - Words: 42,175 - Reviews: 890 - Favs: 252 - Follows: 248 - Updated: 10/29/2012 - Published: 7/18/2010 - Max, Fang
Firefighter: the chiefs daughter by Fangrules reviews
Fang is the rookie fire-fighter newly assigned to station 24. Max is the chiefs daughter - the forbidden fruit. What happens when they fall for each other? will they be happy or will their pasts get in the way?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 58,199 - Reviews: 975 - Favs: 432 - Follows: 166 - Updated: 10/8/2012 - Published: 3/28/2010 - Max, Fang - Complete
High School Ride by Xx-Erin-xX-AthrunxCagallifan reviews
All human. Max and her mum and sister have moved to Arizona much to Max's dismay. She doesn't believe that Arizona will have anything to offer her, until she meets Nick Ride, Fang, and his friends and family who call themselves a 'Flock'
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 81 - Words: 262,365 - Reviews: 5009 - Favs: 1,194 - Follows: 973 - Updated: 7/8/2012 - Published: 1/17/2009 - Max, Fang
Not Alone by MyNameIsCAL reviews
Jeb abuses Max,kills Mom and Ella.Max enters an abuse rehab place,meeting Fang and his friends.Afraid Jeb will hurt her again,Max feels vulnerable.Fang makes her feel safe again and shows her she can move on.She shows him he can live life again.No wings.
Maximum Ride - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 41,030 - Reviews: 460 - Favs: 202 - Follows: 210 - Updated: 4/8/2012 - Published: 5/18/2010 - Max, Fang
Job Listings by St. Fang of Boredom reviews
I basically got bored one day and had a random thought: If the Flock applied for jobs, what would be a bad choice? I have random thoughts like that. So, this is what I came up with...Oh, and it's narrated by me and Fang! Fang: Not that I want to be here..
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 24 - Words: 14,794 - Reviews: 817 - Favs: 264 - Follows: 118 - Updated: 2/21/2011 - Published: 12/1/2008 - Complete
I Never Did That! by flYegurl reviews
When Fang finds a link to a website called Fanfiction on a comment on his blog, he follows it to a series of... interesting stories. Iggy torture ensues. Does anyone ever wonder why Iggy has been paired with almost every character in the MR universe?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 833 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/8/2010 - Complete
Shuffle by Faxisthegreatest123 reviews
Okay, so I'm a little behind in this, but I decided to try the Ipod Shuffle type thing, so we'll see how it turns out...
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,249 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/2/2010 - Max, Fang - Complete
OMG IT'S A PARODY CALLED: Christmas on Crack by everyoneisMISunderstood reviews
Uh... I totally suck at summaries so uh... yeah uh... I guess uh... Haha, just kidding! A parody, clearly. Rated T for outrageously strange behavior by characters and extremely silly nonsense.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,954 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/21/2009
All In a Days Work by Mo- The Reviewer reviews
What if Max and Fang already went to school together? What if they hated each other? What if Iggy was the new kid? Could he bring them closer than they ever could have imagined? Or will he be brought onto the battlefield? AU. T for safety. My First FF!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 22,424 - Reviews: 505 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 95 - Updated: 11/11/2009 - Published: 7/20/2009 - Fang, Max
New Max and Fang by Fangalicous08 reviews
My oneshot for Anti-Hardwicke Day! Rob and Kristen do NOT have what it takes to be Max and Fang! Stop the madness! Sign the petition! R&R?
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 738 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 7 - Published: 8/1/2009 - Complete
A New Beginning by CloudyWind732984 reviews
The Flock has just saved the world and destroyed the evil Itex. They head over to Max's mom's house to go and live with her. There is a big surprise waiting for them while they are there. There is a jelous Fang and what is the surprise? Fax
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 76 - Words: 100,135 - Reviews: 1110 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 119 - Updated: 4/5/2009 - Published: 12/27/2007 - Max, Fang - Complete
The Flock Plays BS by CloudyWind732984 reviews
Just like the title says, the flock plays BS. Fang gets a new power and uses it to play BS. Faxness. One-Shot
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,069 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/20/2008 - Complete
School by Ferrero reviews
Every information from the School was a hoax, and only Fang's address was real, so now Fang lives with his parents, Max and the rest of the flock with Dr. Martinez and Ella. They get sent to a school, and Max meets a guy called Nicholas...FAX
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,876 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 7 - Published: 10/11/2007 - Complete
run! it's the parodies! by abbyjenna reviews
maximum ride christmas carols!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 376 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 10/3/2006 - Published: 9/25/2006
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Aislin reviews
Merlin and Arthur are attack by a monster what else is new? but their savior isn't who you would expect. Summary sux, plz read. T cuz K is lame.
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 890 - Reviews: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/27/2011 - Merlin
Fight reviews
"My nerves disappeared leaving pure excitement and adrenaline. I looked back at my opponent. This was the beginning of a very long and exciting night." Max, Fang and Iggy are street fighters. I don't really have a plot yet. Fax and Niggy. AH,AU.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,911 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 6/29/2011 - Published: 2/7/2011 - Max, Fang
James Patterson Will DIE! reviews
READ NOW! What happens in ANGEL, and why JP should die because of it. Even if it was epic. T cuz I'm paranoid.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 593 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/14/2011 - Complete
Totally random questions! reviews
What happens when you put 4 possibly mentally insane girls, sugar, a ski resort and a laptop together? You get this! Totally random answers to questions about various books! Extremely hilarious! T for mild language and sex reference.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,524 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Updated: 2/5/2011 - Published: 1/30/2011 - Complete
Ski Flight reviews
The flock goes to Canada after a brutal Eraser attack to look for a little peace. What happens when they un-knowingly land on a ski hill? Summary sux. Oneshot at the moment, could turn into a story, depends on feedback fax if I continue . T just cuz.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,769 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/26/2011
Oneshots! reviews
This is like a big collection of my fav one shots from like a billion different books, I just chose hp and mr cause they're popular. Rated T because I dunno what's going to happen!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 9,546 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 1/20/2011 - Published: 11/30/2010
Please don't Go reviews
When you've lived with something for so long and then suddenly it's gone, just like that, with no warning, how can anything ever be ordinary again? How can you live with it? Not really like sz, except that someone dies. Just a one shot. T for language.
Saving Zoe - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,110 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/20/2011 - Complete
So This is Christmas reviews
Not a Songfic! One shot! The flock's first Christmas after they destroy Itex. I suck at summaries, so I'm not even going to try. LOTS of Fax and implied Eggy. Pure fluff. Rated T because I'm paranoid.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,855 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 11 - Published: 1/1/2011 - Max, Fang - Complete
Fiction? Or Fiction?
This is just the prologue for a story that I'm working, just wanted to get some feedback.
Crossover - Misc. Books & Greek Mythology - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 619 - Published: 12/7/2010 - Complete
Staff of:
  1. Inheritance cycle the Prophecy's of the Fourth book
    Books Inheritance Cycle