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Joined 11-13-10, id: 2614697, Profile Updated: 04-01-11
Author has written 1 story for Soul Eater.

name:none of your business
age :same as name

IF YOU HATE PRACHEL COPY AND PASTE THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE
IF YOU LOVE PERCABETH COPY AND PASTE THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE
IF YOU LOVE THALICO COPY AND PASTE THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE

95% of teens would be crying if Justin Beiber were about to jump of a cliff if your part of the 5% that be sitting in lawn chairs, eating popcorn, and be shouting "jump already!" copy and paste this onto your profile

i understand that scissors beat paper and rock beats scissors, but i dont understand how paper beats rock.Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and make it immobile? If so why cant paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why cant paper do this to people?Why arent their sheets of colledge ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class?I'll tell you why because paper cant beat anybody, a rock would tear it up in two seconds.when i play rock paper scissors i always choose rock. then when someone says they beat with paper i punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh im sorry i thought your paper would protect you.IF THIS MADE YOU LAUGH COPY AND PASTE IT ONTO YOUR PROFILE. THIS WAS SO FUNNY!!

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copy the bunny onto your profile to help him acheive world domination. come join the dark side.(we have cookies!)

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore it because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my father in the gates of Heaven.

If youv'e ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Some might say that Duct Tape is like the force. It has a light side, and a dark side and it binds the universe together.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

One dark day in the middle of the night,

Two dead boys got up to fight,

Back to back they faced each other,

Drew out their knives and shot each other,

The deaf policeman heard the noise,

And came to shoot the two dead boys,

If you don't believe my lies are true.

Ask the blind man he saw it two!

If you read this post it on your profile, or let its confusing words confuse you!

I am the girl ... that does go to school dances, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book or write. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on My Space, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or a regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird, who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself better with words, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.

~ PrettyFanGirl, Truth Be Told 13, DEFiiANCE, Angel of Apathy, Vic Taylor, Brokenwolf13, Bookworm700, Sparteen, GothicShadowPhantom, PsychoticNari, KP100, EmberMclain13, GhostDog401, iluvriordan

YOUR GUY SIDE:

You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night

TOTAL: 15

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were in gymnastics/dance?
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing

TOTAL: 9

Friends are like potatoes... until you eat them, then they die.

you say FIGHT! -i say *RIOT!
you say terrible torture- i say *misery buisness*
you say it'll get better- i say it'll be *brighter*
you say smashsmashsmash-i say *crushcrushcrush*
you say jonas bros-i say wtf then i say *PARAMORE *
you say miley cyrus- i say *hayley williams*
you say karma- i say *thats what you get*
you say the worlds ending -i say *all we know is falling*

The Percy Jackson pledge:
I promise to remember Percy
whenever I'm at sea
I promise to remember Annabeth
whenever a spider comes at me
I promise to protect nature
for Grover's sake of course
I promise to remember Luke
when my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Chiron
whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride''
I promise to remember Tyson
whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side
I promise to remember Thalia
whenever a friend is scared of heights
I promise to remember Clarisse
whenever I see someone that gives me a fright
I promise to remember Bianca
whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother
I promise to remember Nico
whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others
I promise to remember Zoe
whenever I watch the stars
I promise to remember Rachel
whenever a limo passes my car.
yes I promise to remember PJO
wherever I may go

Guy: Where have you been all my life?
Girl: Hiding from you.

Guy: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Girl: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Guy: Is this seat empty?
Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Guy: Your place or mine?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Guy: So, what do you do for a living?
Girl: I'm a female impersonator.

Guy: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Girl: Do not enter.

Guy: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Girl: But would you stay there?

Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Girl: Really? 'Cause I'd put f and u together.

Guy:Your eyes they're amazing.
Girl: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Guy: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
Girl: It's in the phone book

Guy: But I don't know your name
Girl: That's in the phone book too

Guy: I know how to please a woman
Girl: Then please leave me alone

Guy: I can tell you want me
Girl: Ohhhh, your so right, I want you to leave

Guy: If you were a hamburger at McDonalds you would be McGorgeous
Girl: Would that be under your McLame Burger

Guy: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven
Girl: Not nearly as bad as when you fell on planet rejection

Guy: Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again
Girl: No, but sure...next time just be sure to keep walking

Guy: I want to give myself to you
Girl: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts

Guy: It's a good thing I have a library card because I'm checking you out
Girl: Sorry, I'm on reserve for someone else

(if ur a girl that would say stuff like that then post this on your profile) Lolz, he just got SERVED!

PLEASE READ. If this doesn't touch you... I cried!

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't

forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for

the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that

mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister

is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

PLEASE post the following 3 things and if you don't your a cold heartless person!!!

Month One-

Mommy. I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs.The sound of your heart beat is my lullaby.

-Month Two-

Mommy. Today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitly see I'm a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm here.

-Month Three-

You know what Mommy? I'm a boy!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound do sad. It makes me sad too, and I cry too even though you can't hear me.

-Month Four-

Mommy. My hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine, but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes, and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.

-Month Five-

You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?

-Month Six-

I can hear the doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns!! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy, help me!!

-Month Seven-

Mommy. I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy? What did I do wrong?

Every abortion is just..

One more heart that was stopped.

Two more eyes that will never see.

Two more hands that will never touch.

Two more legs that will never run.

One more mouth that will never speak

Johnny Brought A Gun To School

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school, he told his friends that it was cool , and when he pulled the trigger back

It shot with a great crack! Mummy I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold

But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye, I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry

When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another, and all because he got the gun from his older brother

Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much, and please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush

And tell my little sister that she is the only one now, and tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best

Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest, mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class, and never to forget this and please don't let this pass

Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this, mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss

And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try, I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry

Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest, but mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest, mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack

Mummy listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new, I guess I'm not going with daddy, on that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress

Mummy I wanted to live, but mummy I must go now the time is getting late

Mummy tell my Chris, I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date , I love you mummy I always have, I know you know it's true

Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you", In memory of the Columbian students that were lost

Please if you would, pass this around, I'd be happy if you could

Don't smash this on the ground, if you pass this on, maybe people will cry

Just keep this in heart, for the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"

My name is Molly

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Molly

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

Now you have two choices

1) repost and show you care

2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart

(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)

When life gives you Lemons

When Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because I mean really? Who likes lemons?

When Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, sit back and watch the world wonder how.

When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.

When Life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

When life gives you lemons,make apple juice,then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did.

When life gives you lemons, chunck them at the people you hate.

When life hands you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade!

When life gives you lemons squirt them in life's eyes, then run far, far away.

25 Reasons I owe my mother.

1. My mother taught me to APPERCIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3.My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into next week."

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORSIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about,"

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about weather.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

10. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck."

11. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

" You'll sit there until all that spinich is gone."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a millon times. Don't exaggerate."

13. My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

16. My mother taught me about about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home!"

17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing you eyes, their going to freeze that way."

18. My mother taught me about RECIEVING.

" You are going to get it when we get home."

19. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold."

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come crying to me."

21. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

22. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables you'll never grow up."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut the door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

" When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

"One day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella.
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin, "THAT WAS FRICKING AWESOME!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore/Cry with you.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Return your stuff right away.
BEST FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don't waste."

FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!

FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
BEST FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what's wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
BEST FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'its because your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter.
BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this crap!!

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted, "Toma Sota Balcu," as he buried her.Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night, she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast.
TWILIGHT FANS: would rather rely on Alice for future predictions.

NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!
TWILIGHT FANS: say OME! (OH MY EDWARD!)

NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings.
TWILIGHT FANS: know that Jasper already can sense their feelings without saying a word.

NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or I'll tell on you!
TWILIGHT FANS: say shut up or I'll get James to kill you.

NORMAL PEOPLE: think that vampires are all like Dracula.
TWILIGHT FANS: know A LOT better and absolutely love the Cullen vampires.

NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!
TWILIGHT FANS: when being chased yell EDWARD SAVE ME!!!

NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms.
TWILIGHT FANS: know that the Cullens might be playing baseball somewhere and Emmett was just at bat ; )

NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation.
TWILIGHT FANS: would go directly to FORKS WASHINGTON.

NORMAL PEOPLE:dont have this on there profile.
TWILIGHT FANS: MUST have this on there profile.


He gave her 12 roses,

11 real and one fake,

and said,

"I'll love you until the last rose dies."

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

"People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door."

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.

Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Two most common elements in the universe: Hydrogen & Stupidity.

Once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken...

I smile cause I don't know what the hell is going on.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what someone would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

Tell the truth and run.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

Don't mess with me I've got a stick and I have nowhere to put it!

I ran with scissors, and lived!

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

Smile, and the world will smile back at you. Laugh, and they'll all think you're on drugs.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

The voices in my head tell me that you're all crazy to think that I need therapy.

If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.

My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

You're intoxocated by my very presence.

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

Life was so simple when boys had cooties!

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I don't suffer from insanity,... I enjoy every minute of it.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Your weirdness is creeping the voices in my head out.

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, off the occasional cliff and into sliding glass doors.

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s he gonna do? kill me?

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
And ran to save the two dead boys.
And if you don't believe it's true,
Go ask the blind man, he saw it too.

Your eyebrows are as beautiful as an enormus caterpillar.

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

My friend's the kind of person that breaks the silence at a funeral by screaming "KUNG POW CHICKEN"

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!

I agree with the dictionary. girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3?

"Education is important, school however, is another matter."

"What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'"

"He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it.
She Said: You wear pants don't you?"

I walk in the rain,
So no one sees me crying.

You say Romeo and Juliet,
I say Dimka and Rose
You say Werewolves,
I say Vampires
You say you're creepy,
I say I know! :)

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and yell, I WANT DEMITRI BELIKOV!!

They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

There is no I in team but the is an I in PIE and there is an PIE in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Everything here is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is frowned upon in most societies. ~Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.

Come to the dark side. We have DIMITRI!

YOU CALL ME A BITCH. A BITCH IS A FEMALE DOG,DOG BARK, BARK IS ON TREES, TREES ARE IN NATURE AND NATURE IS BEAUTIFUL SO THANKE FOR THE COMPLIMENT:P

“I am sick of people having a near deathexperienceand saying they saw the light. You know what the paramedics do when they first arrive? THEY SHINE A LIGHT IN YOUR EYE! That’s not GOD…it’s a MAGLIGHT!”

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

"Sometimes I wonder 'why is the Frisbee getting bigger?' then I get hit in the face."

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought.

"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."

"Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that."

My prince doesn't wear shiny armour.
My prince doesn't sparkle either.
My prince is death in a cowboy duster. ;)

Sometimes you just have to smile and walk away...hold your tears in and pretend you are okay

"Roses are red, violets are blue, god made me pretty, but what the hell happened to you?"

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice and I'll kill you."

"If at first you don't success, redefine success."

F.I.N.A.L.S-Fuck, I never actually learned this shit.

"Never say 'Things couldn’t get any worse.' God takes that as a personal challenge."

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

"It's just AMAZING! You're completely wrong again!"

"Jesus is coming! Everybody look busy!"

That which does not kill me, had better run pretty damn fast.

"Do you remember when Pluto was a planet, yeah, those were the days."

I suffer from C.R.S. (Can't remember shit)

"Bravo. You really know how to make an ass out of yourself."

"One night I was lying awake when I asked myself 'what's wrong with me?' Then a voice answered 'this is going to take more then one night.'"

"If you talk to God you're religious. If God talks to you, you're psychotic."

"You, off my planet."

“I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but I’ll wager it’s hard to pronounce.”

"Well, we always suspected that thinking was dangerous."

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

If you die, I'll kill you!

A repair shop: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

Don't steal, the government hates competition.

I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on.

Love your enemies. It'll make 'em crazy.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Work fascinates me. I could sit and watch it for hours.

"There Are Three Kinds of People - Those Who Can Count and Those Who Can't"

"I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids."

"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and plot your revenge".

"I used to think I was poor. Then they told me I wasn't poor, I was needy. Then they told me it was self-defeating to think of myself as needy. I was deprived. (Oh not deprived but rather underprivileged) Then they told me that underprivileged was overused. I was disadvantaged. I still don't have a dime. But I have a great vocabulary."

I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.

"I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I must be perfect!"

I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it.

homework is killing trees, stop the madness!

Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Life is like a role of toilet paper; hopefully long and useful, but it always ends at the wrong moment.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."

"Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk."

Be like a duck, my mother used to tell me. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like hell underneath.

"I have the answer in my head. I just haven’t found it yet."

"I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman."

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him ... If you don't mind I'd like a second opinion. He said ... Alright... you're ugly too!

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.

So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.

Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.

We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.

All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power.

Forgive your enemies...but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES!

We are not retreating...we are advancing in another direction.

How do you save your enemy from drowning? Take your foot of his/her head!

I'm bored. Run for your sanity.

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into school.

Evil beware, we have waffles.

"Hey, make up your mind. Am I a genius, or a creep?" "You're a creepy genius."

"Did you study for today's test?" "You bet. Ask me anything you want about history-" "Uh, that's great, but the test is in math."

The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

What doesn't kill you, only puts you in the hospital for a few weeks!

I used up all my sick days so I called in dead.

I'm gonna survive even if it kills me.

If first you don’t succeed… maybe losing is your style.

I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability.

If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later.

He who laughs last thinks slowest!

Make yourself at home ...clean my kitchen.

The silent ones are always the deadliest.

I’ll be dead before I die.

Stupid words! Where are they when you need them?!

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

All the good ones are either gay, married, vampires or fictional characters in books or movies.

You say Pink
I say Black
You say Hollister
I say Hot Topic
You say Jonas Brothers
I say Fall Out Boy
You say prep
I say me myself and i
You say Hannah Montanna
I say Evanesence
You say Superman
I say Edward Cullen
You say I'm a freak
I say Thanks.

I don't run on COFFEE...I run on MUSIC

You wanna be Romeo and Juliet? Okay then. You and your boyfriend can go commit suicide together.

Suicide is a long term solution to a short term problem! Don't do it!!!

If your not living on the edge, your taking up too much space!

Don’t mess with me, I know kung-fu, karate and 47 other dangerous words.

She's got him falling head over heels for her and I can't even get him to stumble...

Days continue to pass, stars continue to shine.
Why do I have tears in my eyes today
when he was NEVER mine?

If You Really Love Something Set It Free.
If It Comes Back It's Yours, If Not It Wasn't Meant To Be.

If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you I wouldn't miss you, but I did, I do and I will.

In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away...

When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt and dance like no one is watching.

"I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry.

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."

"You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel."

To realise the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.
To realise the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realise the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realise the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realise the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who just missed a train.
To realise the value of ONE SECOND, ask someone who just avoided an accident.
To realise the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal at the Olympics.

You've got to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you've got, and remember what you had. Always forgive, but never forget. Learn from mistakes, but never regret.

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.

If vodka was water and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and never come up. But vodka's not water and I'm not a duck so pass me a bottle and shut the fuck up.

Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

6 REASONS NOT TO MESS WITH CHILDREN AND WHY THEY ARE CONSIDERED DIABOLICAL

1. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

> >The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

> >The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

> >The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

> >The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

> >The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".

2. A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

> >The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

> >The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

> >Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied,

> >"They will in a minute."

3. A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, sheasked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

> >Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

4. One day, a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the sink. She suddenly notices that her mother had several strands of whitehair on her head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Whyare some of your hairs white, Momma?"

> >Her mother replied, "Well, every time you do something to make me sad or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

> >The little girl pondered this revelation for a while, then said, Momma, how come ALL of Grandma's hairs are white?"

5. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

> >"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'that's Michael, He's a doctor.'

> >A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

6. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

> >"Take only ONE. God is watching."

> >Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

> >A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

the ones in bold apply to me.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenience store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUSt be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be sleeping with them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm part RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm part GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in a BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be a vampire.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST be a prostitute.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm part WELSH so I MUST love sheep.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I CURSE so I MUST have no respect.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos. (Come on, people! Kangaroos don't talk to us!)
I’m GAY so I MUST be after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.
I DISAGREE with stereotypes so I MUST post this on my profile. :) (Now THAT one is actually true) :)

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

You know you live in 2010 when...

1. You go to a party, sit down and take My Space ( go Facebook!) pics.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/Live Journal/My Space.

4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.

6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.

7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.

8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.

9. You were too busy to notice number five.

10. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.

11. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.

12. Put this in your profile if you fell for it. You know you did.

13. your sad because you fell for it and think you have to put it on ur profile

A friend wipes your tears when your rejected a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"

A friend tells you you deserve better when he dumps you, a best friend prank calls him and whispers "You will die in 7 days."

A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "Man, we screwed up."

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?

Friend: calls your parents by mr. and mrs.

Best friend calls your parents dad and mom.

Friend:has never seen you cry

Best Friend: has always had the best shoulder to cry on

Friend: never asks for anything to eat or drink

Best friend: opens the fridge and makes herself at home.

Friend:asks you to write down your number.

Best friend: ask you for their number (cuz they can't remember it -)

Friend:borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back

Best friend:has borrowed things and when u ask for it they give u a tissue saying they lost it.

Friend:only knows your fave color, movie, and book

Best friend:could write a (very embarrassing!!) biography on your life

Friend:will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing

Best friend:will kick the crowd's butt if they are doing that to you

Friend: would ignore this

Best friend: will repost this on their profile


BLONDE LOGIC

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..."duh"...bottles won't fit in typewriter!!

March - Got excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours...power went out!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid...8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!

June - Tried to go water skiing...couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition...learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!

August - Got locked out of car in rain storm...car swamped, because top was down.

September - The capital of California is "C"...isn't it??

October - Hate M & M's...they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days...instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!

December - Couldn't call 911..."duh"...there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!

What a year!

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

I know, I know, You don't have to say it. I'm awesome, amazing, dazzling, and breathtakingly marvelous. :D

A Hunger Games Addict’s Prayer-

I promise to remember Rue
When mockingbirds’ songs wake me
I’ll think of Foxface every time
I eat a strange new berry
If my little sister pets a goat
I promise to think of Prim
And if my best friend acts depressed
Then Gale; I’ll think of him
When I toss some wood in the fire
I’ll think of Katniss every time
And I’ll always think of Peeta
When my birthday cake’s sublime
The Capitol will cross my mind
When someone is unfair
I’ll be sure to think of Clove
Each time I pretend to care
I’ll always think of Glimmer
If someone’s pretty, but a dunce
And Thresh will occupy my mind
If I spare someone, something... Once
Whenever I watch a reality show
I will think of the Hunger Games
I’ll sure imagine Haymitch
If someone calls me names
I swear to think of Cato
When I’m homicidally inclined
I’ll make sure I think of Effie
When there’s nothing on my mind
I swear to remember the Hunger Games
And Catching Fire too
It’s important to think of the characters
But they’re NOT mine (So, Collins, don’t sue!)

~~This or That~~
Fire or Ice:
Fire
Day or Night: Sunset!!
Hot Chocolate or Coffee: Hot Choclate
Tea or Soda: Soda
Juice or Water: Juice
White Milk or Chocolate Milk: Chocolate milk
Italian or Chinese: Italian
McDonald's or Burger King: Burger king (the best fish samwich!!)
Pizza Hut or Domino's: domino’s
Watermelon or Kiwi: Watermelon
Strawberry or Blueberry: Strawberries
Cherry or Banana: Banana
Summer or Winter: Summer
Spring or Fall: Spring
Rainy or Sunny: sunny
Snowy or Rainy: Snowy
Love or Money: Love (unless in a gross way)
Mates or Dates: Mates

~~Have You Ever~~
Smiled for no reason:
ya
Danced in the rain: yes
Sang out loud: Yes
Kissed in the rain: Nope
Gotten in a bar fight: Nope
Done drugs: Gross
Been drunk: Under age (duh)
Been in love: No most boys around me are werid/gross/stupid
Sat on a roof: I stood
Gotten thrown out of a store: Nope
Cried over a guy (if yes, was he worth it?): Nope (see been in love)
Played an instrument: I wish I played the guitar
Smoked a cigarette: No yuck
Lied: yes
Cheated:Nope
Stolen: Nope
Stayed up all night: Yep
Been arrested: Hades no

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite gender.

Joe my 23rd cousin that I wish to strangle

2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, and green, yellow?

blue

3. Your first initial?

A

4. Your month of birth?

January

5. Which colour do you like more, black or white?

Black

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

Annabeth

7. Your favourite number?

7

8. Do you like California or Florida more?

California

9. Do you like lakes or oceans more?

Lakes

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one)

Write a book

Are you done?

If so, scroll down

(Don’t cheat--)

THE ANSWERS

1. You are completely in love with this person.

Ewwwwwwwww That’s gross

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love

True I Have never been in a relationship before

3. If you’re initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

That cant be good

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to

Blossom.

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in:

Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you

Fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Okayy

Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but

The memories will last forever.

July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life

Changing experience for the good.

Oct.-Dec.: Yourlove life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your

Soul mate.

5. If you choose...

Black: Your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time

But will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

okaaaaaaaaaaay

White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do

Anything for you, but you may not realize it.

6. This person is yourbest friend.

My half sis

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

That’s sadly true so far

8. If you choose...
California: You like adventure.

True
Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose...
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

True very true

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday!

I hope so

Copy and paste this to your profile if you were sad when you finished the PJO series.

Copy and paste this to your profile if you ever daydream about yourself in the Percy Jackson world.

"Yay! Now we can eat peanut butter sandwiches and ride fish ponies! We can fight monsters and see Annabeth and make things go BOOM!" - Tyson(my favorite part is the BOOM!)

The Stupidest Things On Products

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Walmart Great Value Whipped Cream (no dircetions): "Use only as directed." (And how exactly would that be?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

On a Myer hairdryer:"Do not use while sleeping."(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."(Wow. That's really helpful)

On a child's superman costume:"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". (Awh, that's the whole purpose of buying the costume!)

On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands orgenitals".(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions:"Put on fork and eat."(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how??)

On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's just a suggestion).

9 Things I Find Annoying:

1. People Who Point At Their Wrist While Asking For The Time... I Know Where My Watch Is Pal, Where The Hell Is Yours? Do I Point At My Crotch When I Ask Where The Toilet Is?

2. People Who Are Willing To Get Off Their Ass To Search The Entire Room To Find The TV Remote Because They Refuse To Get Up And Change The Channel Manually.

3. When People Say, 'Oh You Just Want To Have Your Cake And Eat It Too.' Damn Right! What Good Is Cake If You Can't Eat It?

4. When People Say, 'It's Always The Last Place You Look.' Of Course It Is. Why The Hell Would You Keep Looking After You Found It? Do People Do This? Who And Where Are They? I'm Gonna Kick Their Asses!

5. When People Say While Watching A Film, 'Did You See That?' No Loser, I Spent 12 Dollars To Come To The Cinema And Stare At The Damn Floor.

6. People Who Ask, 'Can I Ask You A Question?' Didn't Really Give Me A Choice There, Did Ya Sunshine?

7. When Something Is 'New And Improved.' Which Is It? If Its New, Then There Has Never Been Anything Before It. If Its An Improvement, Then There Must Have Been Something Before It, So It Can't Be New.

8. When People Say, 'Life Is Too Short.' What The Hell? Life Is The Longest Damn Thing Anyone Ever Does! What Can You Do That's Longer?

9. When You're Waiting For The Bus And Someone Asks, 'Has The Bus Come Yet?' If The Bus Came, Would I Be Standing Here Dumbass?

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

How A Reunion Brought Back More Than Bad Yearbooks by HAWTgeek reviews
Annabeth and Percy broke up when Percy was offered a job in Hawaii that he had been trying to get for years. Soon after this, she learned she was pregnant. Knowing Percy would leave that job he had always worked for, she never told him.Maybe its time?
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 32 - Words: 53,561 - Reviews: 412 - Favs: 301 - Follows: 185 - Updated: 9/16/2011 - Published: 4/3/2011 - Annabeth C., Percy J. - Complete
Framed The Real Story by bunnyluver225 reviews
THE GODS COME AND ABDUCT PERCY, TO PUNISH HIM FOR A CRIME HE DIDN'T DO. WHAT WAS THE CRIME? PERCY DOESN'T KNOW, BECAUSE THE GODS REFUSE TO TELL HIM. WHO DID IT? WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A GODDESS SECRETLY HELPS HIM? READ AND REVIEW, PLZZZ!
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 30 - Words: 21,470 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 6/8/2011 - Published: 1/15/2011
Cursed Twins reviews
What will happen when a set of twins enrolls in the DWMA? What will happen when the gang finds outthey are cursed? Read to find out! Crona is a male.
Soul Eater - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,814 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/18/2012 - Published: 6/13/2012