Author has written 1 story for Series Of Unfortunate Events.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people with guns kill people." Well, I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
Beware the letter "G." It is the end of everything.
If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
Suicide is our way of saying to God, "You can't fire me! I quit!"
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
BEWARE OF VIOLISTS: We are secretly planning to take over the world.
YES, I am random, thanks for asking.
When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and yell, "Taste the freaking rainbow!"
1,2,3, more than three...
You laugh, I laugh
Whoever said "anything is possible" never tried to slam a revolving door
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
Silence is golden but duct tape is silver
The word "bed" actually looks like one!
Bad spellers... U NIGHT!!!
Don't say bad words, only the worst ones.
Violence is never the answer, but it happens anyway.
The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water!
You call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark grows on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful, thanks for noticing.
Education is important; school, however, is another matter.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
What did you have 4 breakfast, Carnation Instant Bitch?
Proud to be EVERYTHING YOU HATE
THINK. It's not illegal yet.
I'll start acting NICER if you start acting SMARTER.
LOOK! a distraction!
Nah, it's not your fault. But I'm blaming you anyway, K?
I can't dial 911... there's no 11 on my phone.
You think I'm... SARCASTIC? Watch me pretend to care.
"YOUR STUPID!" My stupid what?
Without ME you're just AWESO
Growing old is obligatory. Growing up is optional.
Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
People like you are the reason we have middle fingers
Almost every girl is a bitch, it just depends on how much or whether they like to show it
Violence is never the answer, its the plan B
Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't.
this is this cat
this is is cat
this is how cat
this is to cat
this is keep cat
this is a cat
this is dumbass cat
this is busy cat
this is for cat
this is forty cat
this is seconds cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it on. (It's so funny to me XD)
can you blveiee tihs?
Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? yaeh i awlyas kenw i was strnage. XD
Quick! Write Down 7 warrior cats in no particular order
Who would seven date; one or five?
Uh,i hope not, i think she has a thing for 2!
What if two saw six make out with three?
He would trip out, one of them is dead.
Have you ever read a fan fic about four?
What if five loved two?
Kinda againest the code
What would seven do if one got hit by a car?
She's already dead, it wouldn't help much.
What would two say if three went to live as a kittypet?
"I thought you were loyal, oh well now my kitties got a friend!"
What would seven do if one killed four?
She wouldn't be happy Jay's like her brotherish and he's the medicine cat.
*x0x*whales*post dis on ur profile if u think whaling is wrong!
╔╗╔═╦╗ Put this on your page
(¸.•´ (¸.•´~ pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.
Friends VS. Best friends
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa.
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
A poem about abortion. Very sad!
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
If you're against abortion, re-post this (0-0, how can u not be against this?*cries*)
My name is Molly
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Molly
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!
Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care
2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)
Seriously don't ignore this :'
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on the ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.
I'm not really scared, i really just wanna see how many people will freak out.