Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile. (I'm proud to be total straight-edge)
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breath. Copy this into your profile if you'd be part of the 8 percent laughing your ass off.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are against fur coats or killing animals just to look good, copy this into your profile.
If you can read this you are blessed because more than two billion people can't read at all:
Wehn I reeliazd taht I cluod undestand waht
I was rdanieg I was shekocd by the phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling
If you could read that put it in your profile
20 things to do at Walmart
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"
17. Challenge people to duels in the back aisles with wrapping paper tubes.
18. Have a conversation with yourself loud enough so that people in the other aisles can hear you.
19. Throw things over one aisle into another one.
20. Mark out price tags with a sharpie
26 THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR
1.When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2.Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3.Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
4.Call the Psychic Hot line from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.
5.Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
6.Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
7.Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
8.Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
9.Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
10.Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
11.Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
12.Ask, "Did you feel that?"
13.Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
14.When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
15.Swat at flies that don't exist.
16.Tell people that you can see their aura.
17.Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.
18.Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
19.Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
20.Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
21.Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
22.Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
23.Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
24.Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
25.Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
26.Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"
A sad little story I saw on somebody else's profile:
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
>He told his friends that it was cool,
>And when he pulled the trigger back,
>It shot with a great, huge crack.
>Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
>I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
>When I went to school that day,
>I never said good-bye.
>I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
>When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
>And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
>Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
>And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
>And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
>And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
>And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
>Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
>Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
>And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
>Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
>But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
>And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try
>I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
>Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
>But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
>When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
>please listen to me if you would,
>I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
>I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
>I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
>I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
>But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
>Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.
>I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
>And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost
Seen on: Courtney777's Profile
Thoughts on Gay Marriage!
1) Gay marriage is not natural, and as Americans, we always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and lyposuction.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...
Have PRIDE! Support Gay Marriage!
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, blissfulmemories, Misfit Band Geek, Inuyashagrl101, Giggle Wiggles, Fox-Zodiac, Leafstar of LyokoKonoha,MoonlightSparklezLonelyUekiZeeFrostfeather Cynthia-Brandon, Bookworm999
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
95 percent of teenagers care about popularity. If you like pretzels, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you truly believe that there is an Edward Cullen out there somewhere for you (his name doesn't have to be Edward)...copy/paste this into your profile.
If you are Team Edward, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a screen door, copy and paste this into your profile.
My name is Tiffany, I am three,
My eyes are swollen, I cannot see,
I must be stupid, I must be bad,
What else could have made my dad so mad?
I wish I were better, I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy would still want to hug me.
I can't do a wrong, I can't speak at all
Or else I'm locked up, all day long.
When I'm awake I'm all alone
The house is all dark, my folk aren’t at home
When my mommy does come home, I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get, one whipping tonight.
I just heard a car, my daddy is back
From Charlie's bar.
I press myself against the wall.
I try to hide, from his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now, I'm starting to cry
He finds me weeping, calls me ugly words
He says it’s my fault
He suffers at work. He slaps and hits me
And yells at more, I finally get free
And run to the door.
He's already locked it, and I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me against the hard wall
I fall to the floor, with my bones nearly broken
And my daddy continues, with more bad words spoken,
"I'm sorry!" I scream, but it’s now much to late
His face has been twisted, into an unimaginable shape
The hurt and the pain, again and again
O please God have mercy, O please let it end!
And he finally stops, and heads for the door, while I lay there motionless.
Brawled on the floor. My name is Tiffany
I am three, tonight my daddy murdered me
And you can help, sickness me top the soul,
If you read this and don't pass it on
I pray for your forgiveness because you would have to be
one heartless person, to not be effected
By this Poem, and because you are effected
Do something about it! Si I'll ask you to do, is pass it on!
IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE
Girl:Slow down, I'm scared.
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: no it's not. please, it's so scary.
Guy: then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now please slow down.
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
(She gives him a big hug)
Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself, it's really bothering me.
The next day in the newspaper, a motorcycle crashed into a building due to brake failure. Two people were in the crash, but only one survived.
If you would do the same thing for the person you love, copy and paste this into your profile.
A perfect example of minority rule is a baby in the house. - Milwaukee Journal
If my muscles ache, it's because I've used them. If my legs hurt when I walk up those stairs, it's because I walked up there every night to sleep next to the one who loved me. If I got wrinkles, it's because I've laid under countless suns. And I've lived, loved, laughed and screwed my way through a pretty damn good life. Getting old ain't bad. Getting old, thet's earned.
Nerds are so amazing, we have a candy named after us.
When life gives you questions, Google gives you answers.
All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream. - Edgar Allen Poe
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool. - William Shakespeare
Friends don't let friends watch Twilight. - Any Sane Human Being
You're an asshole. It's not a crime to be an asshole, but it's counter-productive.
Being smart is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Being wise is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad.
You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. - Christopher Columbus