Name: Don't feel like telling you

Age:No longer telling

Country: U.S.A.

Gender:Male

Hey just so that anyone who is reading my story, I can only work on the story while my schoolwork load is low and I can get the ideas flowing to finish writing the chapters. Let it be known that I have every intentions to continue on this story as well as any other stories that I plan on doing as the years go by.

Some things about me:

Anime Likes:

Naruto(all time favorite anime)

Fate/Stay night

Fate/zero

Guilty Crown

Sekirei

Yu-Gi-Oh (so far all of them)

One Piece

Inuyasha

D. Gray-man

Pokemon

Digimon

Rosario Vampire

Fairy Tail

To-Love-Ru

High school DxD

RWBY

Red vs Blue

Re: Creators

Overlord

Re: zero

Restaurant to another world

The devil is a part-timer

Trinity seven

Demon Lord Daimaou

I couldn't become a hero, so I reluctantly got a job

Blast of tempest

Reading Likes:

the Inheiratance Cycle

Harry Potter Series

The Last Dragon Chronicles(The Fire Within, Ice Fire, The Fire Star, The Fire Eternal, Dark Fire, Fire World)

Maximum Ride series(the books)

Twilight saga(just felt like reading it)

the series of unfortunate events

Maximum Ride(the manga)

Air Gear

Nora: The Last Chronicles of Devildom

Percy Jackson and the Olympians

Night Angle Trilogy

Game likes:

Halo 3, 4, Reach

Brutal Legends

FF X, XIII, XII-2, VII

Fable 2 and 3

assassin's creed (all of them)

Digimon world 3 and 4

Persona series

Call of Duty Black Ops (one and two)

Resident Evil 5

DMC 1-5

Pokemon(Colossem, XD Gale of darkness, ruby, Saphire, Emerald, Pearl, Platnium, Dimond, White, White 2, Y, ORAS, Sun Moon)

Overlord 1 2

.hack G.U.

onimusha 3

bayonetta

Naruto Ultimate Ninja Storm 3

Movie/TV Show likes:

Starwars

Harry Potter

Young Justice

Teen Titans

Yu-Gi-Oh (Orignal and 5D's)

Dislikes:

Yaoi

rapists

emo king aka Sasuke(male)

evil marik (marik's darker half)

Teen Titans Go!

Fav couples:

NarutoxAny girl

Regular Likes:

Narutoxharem fics

God-like Naruto fics

Male Sasuke Bashing fics(esspically when he is a complete and total asshole)

village council bashing fics

Dark/Evil Naruto fics

Sakura Bashing fics(Cuz she was shuch a whinning bitch in the beggining of the Naruto saga and didn't become useful till shippuden)

Kakashi Bashing fics(He just does not teach him anything, just tree walking and some tips for rasenshiurken)

Reading just about anything

Playing video games

watching movies

smart naruto fics

Favorite Characters:

Name:Series

Shiro Emiya: Fate/Stay Night

Saber/Arthuria:Fate/Stay Night, Fate/Zero

Rin Tosaka:Fate/Stay Night

Naruto Uzumaki:Naruto

Itachi Uchiha:Naruto

Natsu Dragneel: Fairy Tail

Erza Scarlet: Fairy Tail

Lucy Heartphilla:Fairy Tail

Grey Fullbuster: Fairy Tail

Allen Walker: D.Grey-man

Gilgamesh/Archer: Fate/Stay Night, Fate/Zero

Medea/Caster: Fate/Stay Night

Iskander/Rider:Fate/Zero

Ichigo Kurosaki:Bleach

Orihime I. :Bleach

Futaba Sakura/Oracle : Persona 5

This is so true and applies to so many people so for all of the the people the this letter applies to I will say what others won't... 'I'm Sorry'

I'm sorry

that I bought you roses

to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry

That I was raised with respect

not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry

That my body's not ripped enough

to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry

that I open your car door,

and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry

That I'm not cute enough

to be "your guy"

I'm sorry

That I am actually nice;

not a jerk

I'm sorry

I don't have a huge bank account

to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry

I like to spend quality nights at home

cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry

I would rather make love to you then just screw you

like some random guy.

I'm sorry

That I am always the one you need to talk to,

but never good enough to date

I'm sorry

That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,

but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry

That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,

but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry

If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry

If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry

that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry

If you read this and know somebody like this

but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry

For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry

That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry

I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good

enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry

I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry

That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry

That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry

That I cared

I'm sorry

that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"

Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If you're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'

Love vs. Sex

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year.

She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elmtrees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.

The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.

When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her.

She asked if they would ask the man one question.

Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God?

Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly believe in God..

PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what... and if you stand up for him he will stand up for you. I bet 93 of you people that read this won't repost

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.

The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:

"When I was born I was black,"

"When I grew up I was black,"

"When I'm sick I'm black,"

"When I go in the sun I'm black,"

"When I'm cold I'm black,"

"When I die I'll be black."

"But you sir..."

"When you're born you're pink,"

"When you grow up you're white,"

"When you're sick, you're green,"

"When you go in the sun you turn red,"

"When you're cold you turn blue,"

"And when you die you turn purple."

"And yet you have the nerve to call me coloured"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Copy this onto your site and help stop racism!

When I read this I found this to be really cute

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.

When a girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says "I love you." she means it.

When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.

The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.

The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".

If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.

If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you. Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.

If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh?

Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you can read that please put it in your profile.

Who Am I?

I am the boy...that doesn't go to school dances, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the boy that people look through when I say something. I am the boy that spends most of his free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the boy that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the boy that doesn't spend all his time on MySpace, or talking about cars, girls or sex to his firends. I am the boy that hasn't been asked out in a year...or ever. I am the boy that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and slash in the rain.

But I am also the boy who knows and is proud to be who he is, doesn't care if people call him weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express himself better with words, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and paste this to your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the people who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.The First Kitsukage, Dragon of Time, jinx777, DarkSpark20354

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a "slut", no one knows she was raped at age 14.

People call another guy "fat", no one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight.

People call an old man "ugly", no one knows he experienced a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war.

Re-post this if you are against bullying and stereotyping.

Hush, little sister

Please don't cry

I wish I could be there

To sing you a lullaby

I can see your arms

Bloodied and bruised

That's strange, little sister

Mine were like that too

I know you scream

When Daddy's there

Hush, little sister

I know you're scared

I can see the way

He's hurting you

I'm sorry, little sister

He did that to me too

I know that people

Ignore what's going on at home

That makes me angry, little sister

You shouldn't have to be alone

Hey, little sister

You wanna know why I'm not there?

It's a sad story, little sister

But people should care

You see, little sister

One day Daddy got high

You were asleep in your crib

So you didn't hear my cry

He screamed at me

And smashed my head against the door

While you slept, little sister

I died on the floor

You know, little sister

I don't think that I would have died

If someone had only bothered

To listen to my cries

But hush, little sister

Daddy's coming home

Quick, get into bed

You don't want him to find you alone

I'm sorry little sister

He's in a bad mood

Run while you can

Uh oh little sister

He's lifting his belt

Scream while you can, little sister

Call for help

Hush little sister

You don't need to cry

No one can hurt you

You're in my arms tonight.

--Unknown.

CHILD ABUSE IS SICK AND WRONG. PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE IF YOU FEEL THE SAME WAY.

95% of teens would cry if they saw EDWARD CULLEN at the top of a skyscraper about to jump.put this as part of sig if you are part of the 5% that would sit here with popcorn a camera and yell ''DO A FLIP!!!'' If you are part of the 5% that would do this then copy and paste.

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't

forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for

the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that

mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister

is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

This story is about a little girl that was abused. If you care about it, and want things like this to stop then copy and paste it to your profile.

My name is sarah I am but three,

My eyes are swollen I cannot see,

I must be stupid I must be bad,

What else could have made My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up All the day long

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight, don't make a sound!

I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse my name he calls

I press myself Against the wall.

I try and hide From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more,

I finally get free And I run for the door.

He's already locked it And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late

His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain again and again

Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy, Murdered me.

Child Abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

-Dear Santa, this year for Christmas ... I would like an Xbox 360, an iPhone, a new laptop, a personal TV... no wait, forget that. Get in your sleigh, go to Afghanistan, Iraq, Kuwait, and get all the soldiers ... and bring them home. They deserve to be with their families on Christmas. Post this as your status to show respect for the soldiers who won't be coming home for Christmas. If you don't re-post, I understand. You can't spend 6 seconds of your life to support soldiers.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile

If your obsessed with dragons, foxes, wolves and fantasy copy and paste this in your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6, Bubble Blower, panache2005, .Dr1v3n t0 1n5aN1Ty., Serenity.Jones, crystalshake, KOIZUMI MICHIYO, Rain C. frosty, Pikana,ShadowWolf 2.X,Ghost Rider Fan123, Darkvizardking69,Masteria, Airgod000-002, XInsanityXGuiltechXShadowwindX, DarkSpark20354,

The 100 Rules of Anime:

The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural

phenomenon that seem to appear in various forms in all sorts of anime. The original

intent was an effort to classify these incidents into a list of "laws" that

explained how Anime physics are different from our own (real?) world. It is our hope

that you find them useful to studying Anime, or at the very least, worth a good

chuckle.

#1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity- The normal laws of physics do not apply.

#2 - Law of Differential Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, is

thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.

Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit

the ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium.

#3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics- In space, loud

sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

#4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion- In space, constant thrust

equals constant velocity.

#5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion- The larger a

mechanical device is, the faster it moves, Armoured Mecha are the fastest objects

known to human science.

#6 - Law of Temporal Variability- Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero

whenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends and

lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality- "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys" both die in one of

two ways - either so quick they don’t even see it coming, OR it’s a long drawn out

affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human

existence or why the toast always lands butter side down. *NOTE: Sometimes, Anime

heroes or villains never really die! In these rare cases they were a clone or cyborg

and the real hero/villain’s suspiciously missing in "Malletspace", or something.

#8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality- It takes some time for bad guys to die...

regardless of physical damage. Even when the "Bad Guys" are killed so quickly they

don’t even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is

attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

#9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis- Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are

depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color

(usually red or white).

#10- Law of Dramatic Multiplicity- Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a

"Good Guy" kicks the "Bad Guy" in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3

different angles.

#11- Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything.

First Corollary- Anything that explodes bulges first.

Second Corollary- Large cities are the most explosive substances known to

human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities,

sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

#12- Law of Phlogistatic Emission- Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

#13- Law of Energetic Emission- There is always an energy build up (commonly

referred to as an energy "bulge") before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because

of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the

Law of Inherent Combustibility.

#14- Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude- The destructive potential of any

object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass.

First Corollary- Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also

known as the A-Ko phenomenon.

#15- Law of Inexhaustibility- No one *EVER* runs out of ammunition. That is of

course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

#16- Laws of Inverse Accuracy- The accuracy of a "Good Guy" when operating any form

of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the

"Bad Guys" when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot

decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A "Good Guy" in a

drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and

several battalions of "Bad Guys" firing on a "Good Guy" standing alone in the middle

of an open field will always miss.

First Corollary- The more "Bad Guys" there are, the less likely they will

hit anyone or do any real damage.

Second Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is faced with insurmountable odds,

the "Bad Guys" line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a

single burst of automatic fire and then escape.

Third Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is actually hit by enemy fire, it is

in a designated "Good Guy Area", usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm,

which restricts the "Good Guy" from doing anything more strenuous than driving,

firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex

martial arts maneuvers.

Fourth Corollary- The more times the "Bad Guy" fires, the fewer times he

will hit.

#17- Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability- Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The

Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs

to get out more.)

#18- Law of Hemoglobin Capacity- the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood,

sometimes more, under high pressure.

#19- Law of Demonic Consistency- Demons and other supernatural creatures have at

least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not

unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. *Also, acid has been known to work

just as well...

#20- Law of Militaristic Unreliability- Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and

large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped

and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a

song.

First Corollary- Whenever a single war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goes

up against an entire army, the army always loses.

#21- Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t...

#22 -Law of Inconsequential Undetectability- People never notice the little

things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

#23- Law of Juvenile Intellectuality- Children are smarter than adults. And almost

twice as annoying.

#24- Law of Americanthromorphism- Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles,

either as a really nasty skinny "Bad Guy" or a big stupid "Good Guy".

First Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb

Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line

Effect)

Second Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the American

translators are the American editors and censors.

Third Corollary- Canadians are usually portrayed as smart, strong, handsome

"Good Guys".

#25- Law of Mandibular Proportionality- The size of a person’s mouth is directly

proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

#26- Law of Feline Mutation- Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:

1) be female.

2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation.

3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

#27- Law of Conservation of Firepower- Any powerful weapon capable of

destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and

used as a last resort.

#28- Law of Technological User-Benevolence- The formal training required to operate

a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

#29- Law of Melee Luminescence- Any being displaying extremely high levels of

martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing

aura. This aura is usually blue for "Good Guys" and red for "Bad Guys". This is

attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

#30- Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism- All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are

hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

#31- Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum is

considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or

explanation.

#32- Law of Follicular Permanence- Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and

can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical

abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s

hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

#34- Law of Probable Attire- Clothing in anime follows certain predictable

guidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of

whether it is socially or meteorologicallyappropriate. Any female with an excessive

amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off

somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female’s clothes,

then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the

Gratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably

wear long cloaks that don’t hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them.

First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability)- All anime characters are resistant to

extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.

Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability)- Bikinis render the wearer

invulnerable to any form of damage.

Third Corollary (Probable Attire permanence)- The clothing on the hero is

indestructible. Their capes, robes, (and if they are girls,) skirts, dresses, bows,

or any loose clothing will just flap when they are in the middle of a fire or ice

attack... Unless it's a hentai. It is believed that the clothes are made out of

Anime Character hair. (re. Laws 32 48)

#35- Law of Musical Omnipotence- Any character capable of musical talent (singing,

playing an instrument, etc. Is automatically capable of doing much more "simple"

things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so

on... especially if they’ve never attempted these things before.

#36- Law of QuintupularAgglutination- Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "Good

Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic

positions, which are:

1) The Hero/Leader

2) His Girlfriend

3) His Best Friend/Rival

4) A Hulking Brute

5) A Dwarf/Kid

Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:

1) Extreme Coolness

2) Amazing Intelligence

3) Incredible Irritation

#37- Law of Extradimensional Capacitance- All anime females have an

extrasdimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from

which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment’s notice. This mysterious

dimension is commonly called "Malletspace".

First Corollary (AKA The Hammer Rule)- The most common item stored is a

heavy mallet, costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

#38- Law of Hydrostatic Emission- Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is

because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released

at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in

the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are

actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is

because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the

back of the head. When extremely stressed , embarrassed, or worried, this sweat

gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

#39- Law of Inverse Attraction- Success at finding suitable mates is inversely

proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the

less you get and vice-versa.

First Corollary- Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real

world...

#40- Law of Nasal Sanguination- When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get

erections, they get nosebleeds. No one’s sure why this is, though... the current

theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see

Law #38 above). Females don’t get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush

along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

#41- Law of Xylolaceration- Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal

swords, if not sharper.

#42- Law of Juvenile Omnipotence- Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it

done in half the time and twice the angst.

#43- Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia- There is no Law #43.

#44- Law of Nominative Clamovocation- the likelihood of success and damage done by a

martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of

the attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect).

#45- Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis- Regardless of how long or involved the

transformation sequence or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"

witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to

interrupt it.

#46- Law of Flimsy Incognition- Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy

mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.

#47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some

unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or

spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind

the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.

#48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or

burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later,

your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect").

First Corollary- When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame,

wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s)

to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut and

letting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be in

part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44.

#49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will

get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform

magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as

the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor") This is because he always deserves it, and will

help him to cope in today’s society. (Sniff Sniff

#50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are

under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY

small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter).

Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression.

#51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws

44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and

the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of

the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"

witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack

are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon Slave

Phenomenon")

52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters

(usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or

perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC!! The reasons

for this are:

1) They forgot that the person is telepathic.

2) They just don’t give a damn.

The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are:

1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else.

2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic.

3) They just don’t give a damn.

#53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.

#54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald,

wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits.

First Corollary- If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid,

etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying

pan or something.

#55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and

withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power

weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.

#56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons

will never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late.

First Corollary- All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome

which require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use

it against the "Good Guy".

Second Corollary- No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior military

device without one of the following events occurring:

a) The control device being broken.

The control device being taken by the "Good Guy".

c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just

"fooled" by the "Good Guy".

d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device.

#57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of

the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman.

#58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance,

resulting in two outcomes:

a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me

look.

A negative charge will result in the

hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look.

#59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition

available (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate

when compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7

for speaker pods)

#60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s

attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them.

(Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto [OVA] have a seemingly endless supply of willing

girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot

couldn’t get a date despite [or because of] their constant attempts.)

#61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an

awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract,

except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single

drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11.

#62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years

is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.

#63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the

few... of even the one.

#64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be

funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall

to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall.

(The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)

#65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the

male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually

helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can

sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the

guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. *(see law #49)

#66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation-

First Corollary- If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater

than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse

coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least

500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping".

Second Corollary- The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to

normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also

inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all

actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot

from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb.

of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits a

mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing

this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential.

#67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the

Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be

increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does

not happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads

to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will *always* be offset by

an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient.

#68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the

control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through

means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis.

First Corollary- Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which

clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant

Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at

will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and

lethality of the maneuver.

Second Corollary- It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or

disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not

always apply to "Bad Guy" characters, or "Good Guy" characters in situations where

the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of

Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any

situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding

increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usually

come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in

Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a

survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly

and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often

referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain

activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in

slow motion.

#71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male

character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at

another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an

interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of

Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. *(see Laws # 37, 49, and

65)

#72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head

shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the

wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages

will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.

#73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to

a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking

sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the

edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly

past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime.

#74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When

faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime

characters will either:

a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws [e.g., slowdown and

exposition]),

Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a

position to ravish beautiful girls, or

c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.

#75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can

summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.

#76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a

secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around

him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?

#77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick

strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the

elements, etc. *(see Laws 32 48)

#78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST

capable of dealing with it.

#79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial

arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with

your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just

doesn’t work in real life...

#80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is

male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a

shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain

is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole

(horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.

#81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if

you’re normally a klutz.

#82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a

Hentai anime is to start having sex.

#83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become

possible.

First Corollary- Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the

hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he

is wrong and will invariably be toastied.

#84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed

by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could

accomplish... but his old teacher did!

#85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire

straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (see

Laws #67, 69, and 84)

#86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in

beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won

against the "Good Guy" (because they’re Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they

tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack.

Usually this results in:

a) The hero escaping.

Clean-up for the underlings.

c) The villain getting toastied.

#87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon.

#88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have

the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water,

rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling

themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up.

#89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large

penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the

size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...

#90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following

characteristics:

1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples.

2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas.

#91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and

up... completely... despite the fact that they might havea tight and/or sensitive

vagina.

#92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance

while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them

introducing themselves.

#93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at

least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death!

First Corollary- If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a

Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the

male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following

him around is there because:

1) It’s his girlfriend’s.

2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so.

3) Chicks will dig him more.

Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by

a cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal,

real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal

that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because:

1) It’s her boyfriend’s.

2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so.

3) It makes her look cool.

#94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability

that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like

bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though

they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the

Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.

#95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any

human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...")

First Corollary- Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime

girls eventually get into it begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is,

but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the

skin of the tentacle...

Second Corollary- Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never

experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also

known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect).

Third Corollary- Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/human

relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again.

#96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other,

sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage

begins to occur.

First Corollary- A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it

from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko

Thing")

#97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that

enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being

immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect".)

#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or

spaceborne, have the following crew members:

1) The captain

2) His Lieutenant

3) Various female technical staff

4) A hotshot pilot

5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not)

6) The Doctor

7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not)

Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include:

1) Extreme coolness/luck

2) Amazing Intelligence

3) Incredible irritation

4) Extreme cuteness

5) Irresponsible drunkenness

6) Homophobicness

7) Emotionless (Idiots.)

#99- Law of Sparklies- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest

appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said

character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love.

No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At

least, Marker Apenname seems to think so...

#100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen.