Zoe Marshall
hide bio
Poll: Who, if anyone, will die at the end of "Her Father's Daughter?" Vote Now!
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 11-26-10, id: 2631135, Profile Updated: 02-03-12
Author has written 4 stories for Death Note, Invader Zim, and Johnny the Homicidal Maniac.

NOTE: I'M PROBABLY NEVER GOING TO USE THIS AGAIN. SORRY TO ALL OF YOU. HERE'S A LINK TO MY BLOGhttp://smashagainsthewall.blogspot.com/

Verum et falsum sunt in mente turbata.


I'm not a glass-half-emty or a glass-half-full kind of person. I'm the kind of person who'll smash the glass against the wall and say "you got me the wrong kind of soda."


I'm that girl

The girl with her little black and pink notebook hiding her face

The girl who can get lost in a book for days

The girl the everyone's scared of

The girl who says "fuck you" to the rest of the world

The girl who writes poems that make you want to die

The girl who shoots down a helping hand

The girl who gave up on it all long ago

The girl who hardly believes a word you say

The girl who's pain pours out of her eyes

The girl who never cries, but never laughs

The girl with a broken smile

I'm that girl

First Name: Zoe (That is pronounced Zoh-ee. Pronounce it "Zoh" and I will kill you)

Middle Name: Anais (after Anais Nin. Ya know, the writer. Ironic, ain't it?)

Last Name: Marshall (yup)

Initials: Z.A.M.

AKA: zoezoewriter (I'm zoezoewriter everywhere but here. That includes Youtube and MangaToshokan)

Birthday: June 23rd

Age: You really think I'm gonna put that on here? F*king pervs... Alright, how about this: 20 divided by 2 times 3 plus 46 minus 4 divided by 6.

Gender: Female. (No joke)

Things you should know before you continue reading:

1) I love anime and manga

2) I fruckin' loooove video games. Expecial Soul Calibur 4 and Grand Theft Auto 4.

3) I am cynical

4) I am a pessimist

5) Humans suck

7) I swear more than a fucking sailor. Fortunately for you, I had my friends go through and censor this.

8) Yaoi and yuri rock

9) I'm a 2.5 on the Kinsey scale. In other words, I am het-leaning bi. (Don't like? You'll get the fuck over it.)

10) I am a smart ass

11) Neitzche was right

12) I am extremely fangirlish, to the point of being yandere-esque

13) I insult my fans alot.

14) Most of the offensive things I write will be done when I am in a bad mood. I will not erase them

15) I don't want your goddamn pity!

16) *middle finger*

17) Mir. Pronounced like "myrrh." That's my personal expression. Steal it, and Ima kill you.

18) Verum et falsum sunt in mente turbata. I put that on everything. If you wanna know what it means, go on google translate and mess around with the translation until it makes sense.

In case you didn't get it yet (dumbass), I LOVE anime and manga. Here's a list:

Read: Hellsing, Elfen Lied, Zombie Powder, Masturbation Master Kurosawa (not ero)

Reading: Loveless, Death Note, Fruits Basket, Bleach, Naruto Part II, D.N.Angel, Honey and Clover, D. Grey Man, XXXHoLiC, Monster, Bleach, Claymore

Watched: Naruto, Death Note, Elfen Lied, Hellsing, Shamanic Princess, D.N.Angel, Code Geass

Watching: Naruto Shippuden

Looking for scanlation of: Pokemon Adventures, Black Butler

Out of those my fave is definitely Elfen Lied. I've read it 3+ times and every time I cry at the end. Next is probly Death Note, then Naruto, then Hellsing. I'm not a big fan of the shojo genre (copy-and-paste romance, weak protagonists). Actually, I could almost say I bloody hate it. Ironically, I actually read shojo. Aside from these, I also don't mind a good yaoi or shonen-ai once in awhile, but ones that actually qualify as good so damn hard to come by. Unfortunately, I'm a wimp and can't write my own yaoi; only shonen-ai. I'll also occasionally read yuri.

By the way, if anyone knows where I can find the scanlations I'm looking for, PM me please!

Aside from manga I also love reading Johnny the Homicidal Maniac and Batman. But only '90s Batman.

Now, a little about me. First off, if you were to ask my mom, one of my teachers, one of my friends, one of my enemies, etc. how they would describe me, there answer would be something along the lines of "Usually composed, mostly stoic, extremely cynical, 12-going-on-40, and completely out of her f*king mind." Ya know. Somethin' like that. Second, do not catch me in a bad mood. You will regret it. Last, people who have plagiarized my writing, friends who have disturbed my writing, enemies that have deleted my writing, and my mother-turned-advisor who tried to put in her two cents have not lived to tell about it. Except for my mom. She was just horribly injured.

I'm a (rabid) Sasuke fangirl. Expecially in the newer chapters. Insane, sadistic, cynical Sasuke... KYAAA- ...Please don't murder me...

Also an Alucard, BEYOND BIRTHDAY, L, BEYOND BIRTHDAY, Mello, BEYOND BIRTHDAY, sort of Matt, BEYOND BIRTHDAY, Sasori, BEYOND BIRTHDAY, Johnny, BEYOND BIRTHDAY, and Dark Mousy fangirl. One of these is not like the others.

Did I mention Beyond Birthday? *crazed fangirling*

The other character I fangirl over is going to take awhile to explain. Johan. Yes that Johan. The Monster of Monster. Why do I have a feeling I just gained about 300 or so haters? Anyway, I fangirl over him. He's pretty. I can't help it. He's pretty. Really, really pretty. Plus then there's that whole has-a-conscience-but-hides-it thing... and that whole no-remorse-for-actions thing... and that whole complete-monster thing... and he's pretty.I know I'd probably be shot if I ever met a human version of him but... he's pretty.

I also fan girl over Gakupo (the vocaloid). I'm sorry, but he's really really hot. Just look at "Breathe" and "Madness of Duke Venomania". Expecially the latter. *faints*

Now for a favorites list!

Movies -

Spirited Away, Knowing, 1408, Mist, Bridge to Terebithia, Watchmen, The Uninvited, Seven Pounds (Fave), The Fountain, White Oleander, The Secret Life of Bees

Books -

Guardians of Ga'Hoole Series, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Black Beauty, Ink Heart, Ink Spell, Ink Death, Wuthering Heights (Fave)

Music -

Linkin Park (Fave until A Thousand Suns), Evanescence (Current Fave), System of a Down, Rise Against, Stone Sour, Slipknot, Sum 41 (new stuff), Seether, Fort Minor, Smashing Pumpkins, Maximum the Hormone, Yui, Gackt, Vocaloid, Avril Lavign (new stuff like Nobody's Home), Most vocaloid stuff

Shipping -

Death Note: MelloXMatt, LightXL (I'm sorry, but it doesn't make any sense for L to be seme)

Naruto: SasukeXSakura, NarutoXHinata, SasukeXNaruto (if Sasuke's not seme then no way), SasoriXDeidara

D.N.Angel: SatoshiXDaisuke

Hellsing: AlucardXIntegra, PipXSeras

Bleach: (yes, I know none of these will ever be cannon) UlquiorraXOrihime (spelling?), IchigoXRukia (don't kill me IchiOri fans), RenjiXRukia

Plays/Musicals -

Phantom of the Opera, Sweeney Todd, Hamlet (These three are probly tied...)

I don't really watch TV, like, at all. When I do, I'm watching True Blood with my mom. I watch all my anime on Youtube and get all my manga off bleachexile, mangatoshokan, mangavolume, etc. And if you're wondering if I like sub or dub better, I'm on the sub side. Don't hate me for it.

Dislikes -

Noise

Overly cheerful people

Overly naive people (I'll tolerate them if they don't start getting on my nerves by calling me emo/goth/a party pooper/too gloomy/too cynical/anythingelse not mentioned here referring to my personality)

Closed-minded people

People who call me and/or my friends emoand/or goth

People in general (I do have my select few friends though)

My biological father (the cocain addict, alchoholic, homophobic lying hypocrite who is narcissistic and turned me into a cynical bitch)

Liars (I mean it. If you lie to me I will kill you.)

Narcissists

Hypocrites

Having my (many) flaws pointed out

Good Things About Me -

I never lie (the day I lie is the day pigs fly and I die)

I will never hurt your feelings intentionally (unless, of course, you really piss me off or I flat out dislike you)

I don't judge people by appearance

I'm empathetic towards people I'm close to (If we're not friends and you whine to me I'll tell you to STFU and deal with it)

My Flaws -

Everything about me is extremelycynical. ["Neitzsche Junior!" F*k off! *grabs daggers]

I have a tendancy to hold a grudge if you hurt me. ["Harlan Ellison Junior!" Go jump in a hole! *grabs daggers]

As previosly mentioned, if you lie to me, I'll kill you slowly and painfully with a smile on my face. Then again, this is only bad if you're a liar, isn't it? Hmm? ["Abraham Lincolin Junior!" YOU F*KING LIARS! *grabs daggers]

I have sadistic and masochistic tendancies. ["Orochimaru Junior!" Oh come on! *grabs daggers]

I won't give a f*k about you if you're not my friend or in a life and/or sanity-threatning situation. ["Gamma Akutabi Junior!" WTF!? *grabs daggers]

I love creeping people out. ["Tira Junior!" Ooh goody! I got a new toy to play with! *grabs daggers]

I talk about the comics and fanfic I write alot,almost to the point where it seems obsessive. ["Voldo Junior!" *Hiss* *grabs daggers]

I absolutely loathany sort of physical contact. (oh, the irony) ["Sasuke Uchiha Junior!" ...Wouldn't that be incest? *grabs daggers]

[I got really bored, okay?]

Quotes -

*WARNING! I AM NOT CENSORING LANGUAGE ON QUOTES!*

My mom just thinks I'm "confused." What's ironic though, is that my brother is gay and my sister is a pansexual. I'm tellin' ya, that woman makes no bloody sence sometimes. I mean, seriously! What do people have against bisexuals? - Me to my best friend about my mother. (Seriously, what do you people have against us!?)

I'm not manic-depressive, I'm a depressed maniac! -Me

I'm the depressive, she's the manic. 'Cause that's just how we role, bitches. - Me about my best friend and myself

For every Dr. Jekyll, there's a Mr. Hyde on the other side of the mirror. -Me

Go shoot yourself in the head. -Me

If you try saying that I suffer from insanity, you're wrong. I completely and fully enjoy it. -I forget, but I use it alot.

Don't take life so seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. -I forget.

Don't trust me. I'll let you down. -Me on a bad day

We're not stupid! - Me to a substitute math teacher when he asked us if we knew what range is. I was having a bad day, and I will never live it down.

When the rich wage war, it's the poor who die - Linkin Park, Hands Held High

I'm insane. I didn't understand a word you just said. - Friedrich Nietzsche

The four Fs in "flying": Flying, Failing, Falling, Flat. - Me

C'mon. With that many male characters you know it's intentional. Death Note is yaoi fangirl bait. And don't even get me started on SasuNaru. - Me

I do have a heart. It beats constantly and circulates blood through my body. But the heart you're referring to... I got rid of that a long time ago. After all, why have a heart when that heart can be broken? - Me to a girl who's always telling me "Be happy 8DDDDDDDDDD!!! HAPPY DANCE TIME!!! *dances around like an idiot*"

You're just jealous because the little people on my shoulder only talk to me! - My best friend

We killed all the boys! - Best friend again.

Goddammit Freud was right! - Me, whenever I'm being a pervert about something completely non-sexual. (Note that I do not think Freud was right)

So you're okay with me being a lesbian or straight, my older brother being gay, and my sister being a pansexual, but not me being bi? Do you not see something wrong with this picture? - Me to my old best friend.

I am fully aware of social norms, I just choose to ignore them. - L from Shorts and Sweets

Great! Just what you need! Another disorder! - Light from Shorts and Sweets

Well, la da dee fuckin' da. - Me.

People should only use guns on themselves. - Ally Todd, Manic

My regards to Mom, bitch. *BOOM* - Seth, Remember Innocence by lodelday

*Spoiler Alert*

(Written on the wall in blood)

Dear Die-Ry,

You can cry until you can never

shed another tear again. You can scream

and curse until your throat refuses

to make another sound. You can regret until

you forget what it is you're ruing in the

first place. You can kill until you're so

drenched in blood that you're not even

human anymore. What does it matter

anyway? Crying, screaming, regretting,

killing... Life will still go on, without

pause, without stop, with no sign as

to when it will release you from it's crushing

grasp. And you know, if it ever did

relent, it still wouldn't care.

Goodbye,

Ally Todd

P.S. I wish the police good luck in finding

me. I deserve whatever happens when they do.

- Ally Todd, Manic

Parents don't realise that their kids remember every insult and lie. They forget that their kids grow up. And kids sure do, getting stronger, mentally and physically. And when we're strong enough... ...we eat our parents alive. - Mary "Kyaa" Clark, Manic

When I'm not writing fanfic I'm writing and drawing my own comics or writingbooks and poetry. I usually stay up until 11:30 12:00 on school nights and stay up nearly all night on weekends. I don't have many friends and I almost always get all A's and B's. My IQ is 133+. My favorite words are "freak" and "lies". I tend to cause a lot of controversy with people I know because of my personal philosophy, which I like to call "Black and Grey Morality." Basically, it means that everything has a bad side and a neutral side but no good side. People have been known to call me "Nietzsche Wannabe", "Nietzsche Junior", and just flat out call me a nihilist among other things. Although, technically Friedrich Nietzsche wasn't a nihilist. He was just a very, very, very pessimistic, and most likely cynical, person just like me. So technically, calling me "Nietzsche Junior" is pretty damn correct. Just note that, although this is my philosophy, I try to get more people on the "neutral" side. The more "neutral" people, the better. Eh, what can I say? I'm insane. I didn't understand a word you said.

My religous views will not be discussed here.

My Stories

A Light in the Dark - *I will be uploading the last 2-3 chapters soon* No it has nothing to do with Light Yagami. He isn't even a character. "A Light in the Dark" is about Matt's years at Wammy's House. Matt's roommante is Mello. It's shonen-ai, and if you can't geuss between who then your all dumber than I thought, no offence. Please read it.

Her Father's Daughter- Future fic/child fic/Wammy fic. Alice Marie, better known as AM, is the the number one at Wammy's House. But when the secrets of her unknown father resurface, will they effect this seemingly stable girl? Rated T for language.

Reveiws = Happy me = Fast updates

Flamer = Irritated me = Flamer getting an angry PM in Japanese and blocked

Time for copy and paste thingies!


Please Read This

I'm the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I'm a lesbian.
I'm the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I'm the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents that buried her daughter long before her time.
I'm the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I'm the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I ever had, I wish they could adopt me.
I'm one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will be able to walk again.
I'm not one of the lucky ones, I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I'm the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I'm the mother who is not allowed to even visit the child I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says that I'm a unfit mother because I live with another woman now.
I'm the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out that my abusive partner is also a woman.
I'm the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I'm a male.
I'm the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I'm the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I'm the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized that I was transsexual.
I'm the person feeling guilty because I think I can be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with the society hating me.
I'm the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed the doors to my kind.
I'm the person who has to hide what this world needs the most, Love.
I'm the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

If you also think that homophobia is wrong then Please Re-Post this on your profile.


The first Alice was a red woman of the spade, the second a blue man of the diamond, the third a green girl of the club, the fourth golden twins of the heart. If you are an Alice as well, copy and paste to your profile.


Hooray for bashing stereotypes! All that are generally applied to me are in bold.

I'm (sort of) SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. (used to be emo)

I'm a BLACK so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a ditz.

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to Hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I WILL go to Hell.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not be in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.

I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs. (used to be a punk)

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin. (I don't think I'm pretty but everyone tells me I am)

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life. (This used to be true until I was sent to a "gifted" school)

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be f*king them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.

I have BIG BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be GAY TOO.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.

I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff.

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND (or orchestra), so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil. (used to be goth)

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister. (I own one Hollister jacket. That's it.)

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive. (Ah ha ha... Anyone who's met me knows this is as far from true as you can get)

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like (more like friggin hate) the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT (meh... a bit.), so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like (f*king hate) to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT SENSE OF HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy. (My sence of humor is pitch, if you haven't noticed)

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.

I read COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.

I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker. (BEYOND BIRTHDAY)

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled. (not really an only child, but my brother and I are 8 years apart and he started living with his dad when I was 4)

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep

I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirt (It's actually called a kilt)

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo. (hate the word "emo" so much 'cause of this...)

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE. (Just a couple more months ;)

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I AM a VAMPIRE. (doesn't help that I'm freakishly pale, hate the sun, and run four degrees cold)

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE.

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a LOSER. (actually the least most popular person)

I care about the ENVIRONMENT so I MUST be a tree hugging hippy. (doesn't help that my teacher called me a hippy)

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so THEY MUST be an ANNOYING MARY-SUE.

I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be AGAINST ABORTION.

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am CYNICAL so I MUST be COLD-HEARTED

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY. (But I'm a girl...)

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELLED.

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.

I like GAMES, ANIME, and COMICS, so I MUST be childish. (...If you apply this stereotype to me you A) are very, very stupid, B) have never met me, or C) really hate living)

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard/bitch.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m (sorta) STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I dress GOTHIC OR PUNK LOLITA so I MUST be the victim of a pedophile. (gothic lolita)

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s.

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.

I READ LEMONS so I MUST be a perv.

I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around. (so true for my big bro...)

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be LESBIAN.

I don't want a GIRLFRIEND so I MUST be GAY.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST need CONVERTNG.

I LOVE MARCHING BAND, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life

I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.

I CRY EASILY, so I MUST be a wimp.

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.

I DON’T LIKE to TALK ABOUT MY PERSONAL LIFE so I MUST be HAVING PROBLEMS.

I am a FREAK so I MUST be CRAZY.

I OVER ANALIZE everything so I MUST be a PERFECTIONIST


Let’s play Questions ‘Bout BB! (AKA What I Did At 3 AM After 26 Hours With No Sleep!)

BB woke you up in the middle of the night. What do you do/say?

“What, wha-… BB! Did you have the nightmare about Kira killing L again? Or are you gonna try to kill me again?”

BB asked you to go out with him. What do you do?

Smile, blush like mad, nearly faint, scream “YES” at the top of my lungs and glomp my BB-chan half to death.

BB walks into the bathroom while you're showering. What do you do?

Exchange a quick awkward glance before smiling evilly and say “Wanna come in?”

BB cooks you dinner. What is it?

Strawberry jam. A lot. of strawberry. jam.

BB is lying next to you on the couch, sleeping. What do you do?

Curl up next to him fully knowing he’ll murder me when he wakes up. Then kiss him in his sleep and hope to god he stays asleep.

BB suddenly confesses to be part of your family. What is your reaction?

“Damn it…Now I feel dirty…Damn incest…”

BB gets into the hospital somehow. What do you do?

Get to his side as fast as I possibly can without realizing all the sharp objects in hospitals until it’s too late.

BB asks if you'd be more than a friend. What is your response?

“BB, I thought you’ve realized by now I’m a rabid fangirl, not a friend. However, since you offered…YES.”

BB ignores you all the time. What do you do?

Stick to him like glue until he’s forced to kill me to avoid looking suspicious. Which technically means he acknowledged me. Which means I won.

Two serial killers are hunting you down. What will BB do?

He’d probably say something to the effect of, “Can I watch them kill you?”

You're on a vacation with BB and manage to break your leg. What does BB do?

He’d probably be the one who broke it. And then he’d break it again. And again. And again.

It's your birthday. What will BB give you?

He’d tell me how long I have left to live.

You're stuck in a house that's on fire. What does BB do?

Look on as I burn to a crisp, dissecting my every movement in his mind.

You're about to do something that'll make you feel extremely embarrassed. What will BB do?

Tilt his head and watch.

You're about to marry BB. What does he do?

Halfway through the ceremony mutter, “Thank god I only have to spend a week with her.”

You got dumped by someone. How will BB cheer you up?

BB: If you’re that upset, I can test my lobotomy theory on them.
Me: …Okay.

You compete in some tournament. How does BB support you?

BB: I never thought you were into hunting.
Me: I’m actually adamantly against it.
BB: Then why would you-… *looks West suddenly* There’s a dying buck three degrees West.
Me: *shoots*
BB: You hit it.
(Real Life Link: I hate hunting with a firey passion.)

You can't stop laughing. What will BB do?

Me: KYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! KYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!...
BB: ……… …………… …… KYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!...

BB is all you've ever dreamed of. Why?

Me: ‘Cause he’s a crazy insane serial killer who looks and acts just like L. And he’s a yandere. Who wouldn’t dream of him?
BB: Are you sure you’re not the “crazy insane” one?

BB tells you about his deeply hidden love for you. Your reaction?

Me: KYAAAAA!!!
BB: ;_;
Me: *glomp*

You're dating BB and introduce him to your parents. Will they get along?

Believe it or not, they would…until they find out he’s a serial killer.

Given the chance, would you kiss BB?

HELL YEAH.

BB appears to be a player, he breaks many hearts. What do you do?

Date him anyway.

You get a haircut and BB can't stop looking at you. What goes on in your mind?

Hell yeah! I knew this was a good choice! Unless I'm gonna die in 5, 4, 3, 2-...

BB thinks he'll never get a girlfriend. What will you tell him?

“I’ll be your girlfriend.”

BB gives you a bagel. What do you do?

I’d look at it suspiciously for an hour, knowing it’s probably poisoned, but then eat it anyway because it’s from BB.

BB wants money and decides to get a job at a day-care. How long does he stay?

It’s likely he’d get fired for having the kids dissect live mammals.

BB offers you a CD. Do you listen to it?

Sure. Why not.

BB suddenly goes emo. How do you feel about this?

“BB, I think you should stick to mutilating others. Self-mutilation sooo doesn’t work with you.”

BB Comes up to you wearing a pretty light pink dress. What's your reaction?

“Whatever works for ya, BB.” Then I’d take advantage of the fact he’s not wearing underwear.

BB cusses you out in German. What do you do?

Scream “Ich liebe dich!” and cling to him like the rabid yandere fangirl I am.

BB got high. What is he doing?

BB: (Singsong voice) L, L, L, L, L, L, L, L~~~~! Eru-sama~~~~~~~! Lalalala Laaawli-pop! Lllllaawwwliet! Lalala- lawl! LOL! KYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

BB reads your fan fictions and complains. What is he complaining about?

BB: Could you write an LxBB fic?
Me: BB, the only person you will ever be paired with in my fics is me.
BB: (Mumbled) Damn yandere…
Me: Speak for yourself.

BB can't stand you, so how does he get his revenge when you spill soda all over him?

Isn’t it obvious? He tests how long it takes someone to bleed to death when just their fingers and toes are cut off!

BB starts working at a bar. What happens?

He gets fired for putting arsenic in the drinks.

You come in and tell BB you’re pregnant with his child. What happens?

BB: ……… ……………… …… ……………… …wut.
Me: And that’s why you never make two yandere be roommates. Someone will get raped.
BB: But I didn’t rape you.
Me: I never said you raped me.
BB: So…That wasn’t a dream? O_O

BB decides to go swimming. Do you go with him?

“Shirtless BB? Gimme!”

BB is having a birthday party and he picks a theme & later picks a song. What did he choose?

Theme: Shinigami
Song: I Never Told You What I Do For A Living by My Chemical Romance

You and BB have a deep conversation. What is it most likely about?

Why we’re yandere.

BB stalks you home. What do you do?

Try to hide a smile and fail miserably.

BB buys a computer. What is the first thing he does on it?

Change the desktop to a Cloister Black “L.”


Welcome to my version of the "things my mother taught me" copy-and-paste-thing, Things I Taught My Mother! Feel free to copy and paste!

1. I taught my mother TEAMWORK

"You're gonna kill Marquee? Ooh! Let me help!"

2. I taught my mother TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE

"READ THE F*KIN' COMIC BOOK! IT TOOK ME FIVE MONTHS PLUS TO FINISH AND NOW SOMEONE'S GONNA READ IT! Oh wait... Happy Birthday!"

3. I taught my mother THE BOUNDRIES OF OUR UNIVERSE

"You are so lucky I don't have a Death Note."

4. I taught my mother LOGIC

"...and then all their heads asplode!"

5. I taught my mother PERSUASIVE-NESS

"GET ME WUTHERING HIEGHTS OR I'LL BLOW YOUR F*KIN' HEAD OFF!"

6. I taught my mother HOW TO BE A FANGIRL

"What would you do if you met *Shows fanart of Beyond Birthday shirtless and covered in blood* this guy?" [insert squee-ing]

7. I taught my mother HOW TO SURVIVE IRONY HELL

"HOW DO YOU LIKE IT MOMMY DEAREST!? NOW CALL ME DAUGHTER DEAREST YOU LITTLE- wait... WHAT!? NO! WIRE! HANGERS! *smack smack smack*"

8. I taught my mother CONTORTIONISM

"*Pulls mother's arm behind her* Mother, if you don't bend your arm back, it'll break, and we certainly don't want that."

9. I taught my mother STAMINA

"Shut up and read the friggin' comic."

10. I taught my mother WEATHER

"My fury is like that of a tornado, Mother. You know this."

11. I taught my mother HONESTY

"See? This is what happens when you lie. Wait... Mother? Are you okay? Mother!? Oh sh*t... CALL 911!"

12. I taught my mother THE CIRCLE OF LIFE

"You brought me into this world, and I will not hesitate to take you out of it."

13. I taught my mother BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION

"Act like my biological father one more time and you won't wake up tomorrow."

14. I taught my mother ENVY

"There are alot of parents who have whiney, obnoxious, snotnosed, immature, uncreative, bratty sheep for children. Be glad you have a stoic, shy, quiet, cynical, overly-mature, creative, bitchy freak."

15. I taught my mother ANTICIPATION

"Just wait until... Never."

16. I taught my mother HATE

"If this paper is my father... *shreds paper* ...this would be him the next time he comes over."

I taught my mother PSYCHOLOGY

"Mother, I have some terrible news. I am a self-diagnosed bipolar with Post-traumatic Embitterment Disorder. But it gets worse. You're... You're... BLOND! *sob sob sob*"

18. I taught my mother HOW TO DEAL WITH A DEADPAN SNARKER

"Ha ha. Isn't that just golden."

19. I taught my mother THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YAOI AND SHONEN-AI

mother walks in while I'm reading a yaoi lemon* "Uh... Well... I said I would be reading yaoi. It's your fault for assuming I was reading shonen-ai."


Why Girls are Better

1.We got off the Titanic first

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game. (Uhh... We haven't?)

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. (And if you're like me, they die even earlier *hides knife behind back* ;)

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... You get the point.

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. (This recently was thrown to fuck for me)

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it. (Not if it's in the middle of your forehead, dammit -_-)

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears. (I never got mine pierced 'cause I have long hair)

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark

How to induce a total freak out in 7 steps

You'll need: a flash drive, a computer, and a writer

1) Find writer's work on computer

2) Insert flash drive

3) Copy writer's work on to flash drive

4) Delete hard copy of writer's work

5) Hide flash drive

6) Ask writer if you can read some of their work

7) Enjoy the show

WARNING If the writer finds out you're responsible they'll probably kill you WARNING


1. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Zoeizzle

2. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): Black Butterfly

3. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name): Anais Sunway

4. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Marzoall

5. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Purple Tea

6. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maidenname, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Orsnaen

7. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name): Ann

8. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): Black Diva

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Idiosyncrasies by Meohy reviews
Idiosyncrasy: a quirk in typical behavior. Yep. That about sums anything romantic happening between Mello and Near.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 13,046 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 7/25/2012 - Published: 1/17/2011 - Mello, Near
The Story of L by TheWammy'sHouseReject reviews
From his birth to the Kira Investigation, L Lawliet had been set apart from the rest of the world. He's been shunned, he's been hated...he's been loved. This is his story.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 44 - Words: 23,165 - Reviews: 293 - Favs: 107 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 6/5/2012 - Published: 10/13/2010 - L - Complete
The Wammy's House Boys by TheWammy'sHouseReject reviews
Suicide, rape, murder, death...these are the kinds of things a child should never have to worry about. But for Beyond, A, Matt, Mello, and Near, this is their harsh reality. Nobody said growing up would be easy...but it should never have to be this hard.
Death Note - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 40,432 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 3/18/2012 - Published: 5/7/2011 - Matt, Mello
Collapse by yesterdaysMagician reviews
Hide behind a front tougher than your slimy flesh and break all your promises made. Equius/Nepeta as moirails. Character death and obvious angst.
Homestuck - Rated: M - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 378 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/28/2011 - Equius Z., Nepeta L. - Complete
Serendipity by Mirus Infidus reviews
"Contrary to what I assume is popular belief, Mello and I weren't exactly 'BFFs' back in Wammy's House." The odd yet true story of how Matt's and Mello's friendship really began. I don't want to give anything away, but it is rather... abnormal. Not yaoi.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 15,992 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 11/30/2011 - Published: 7/22/2010 - Matt, Mello
In Sickness and in Health by little-unoriginal-monster reviews
Okay, yeah. This title is overused. Just pretend it isn't. Little drabbles of when either Mello or Matt are ill or hurt. Sounds stupid? Maybe it is. Or maybe it's flippin' awesome. We got some M&M's action goin on so it's shounen-ai. Enhanced language.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 38 - Words: 22,308 - Reviews: 139 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 4/29/2011 - Published: 10/24/2010 - Mello, Matt
If You Only Knew by Merci Monsieur reviews
Dedication to L. He put his life on the line for us just to apprehend Kira. How do we think him? Making him go through a million lemons with Light -.-" but not this one! this is just plain depressing:D and its dedicated to the soldiers who fight for us:
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 674 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/2/2011 - L - Complete
Bloody Kisses by SaneYaoiAddict reviews
Matt finally leaves Mello, his abusive boyfriend. He moves in with an old friend, and they become closer than ever... But one day, Mello shows up, vengeful. M for rape, abuse, other violence, and general adult content. MelloxMattxNear.
Death Note - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 45,293 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 2/19/2011 - Published: 1/9/2011 - Matt, Mello - Complete
Scarlet Ribbons by bittersweet-endings-2214 reviews
Beyond Birthday is in the asylum. This is the journal of his therapist. Everything was going okay, until Beyond remembers a girl he knew... someone that everyone, even L, had forgotten about. Rated T for language. -Discontinued-
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,043 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 1/17/2011 - Published: 1/2/2011 - BB
Mad World by Trillobite reviews
I bang my head against the door. I scratch my wrists. I bite my bottom lip. I know the kids outside my sanctuary can hear me. If they ask what's wrong, I don't answer. I can't hear their voices. I only hear his... Angst, drugs, yaoi, Matt's POV.
Death Note - Rated: K - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,092 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 12 - Published: 12/17/2010 - Matt, Mello - Complete
Don't Tell by Witchdoctr reviews
Quillish Whammy is a teacher. He notices the pale, crazy haired, baggy eyed kid in the backrow. He also notices the bruises. Angst ,loads of really heavy angst. AU. Child Abuse. Second Fanfic, so be gentle.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,186 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 12/2/2010 - Published: 11/24/2010 - L, Watari - Complete
Life After Death Note by Cameron Kennedy reviews
Light killed L on November 5, 2004. But then, 6 years later, L wakes up in a hospital bed. He quickly learns that Kira is dead, but as he knows from experience, dead things don't always stay that way... Completed 7/28/10.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Drama/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 51 - Words: 66,618 - Reviews: 1134 - Favs: 390 - Follows: 196 - Updated: 9/2/2010 - Published: 5/28/2009 - L - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Kill reviews
Original title, no? Nny is Dib, how it came about, blah blah blah. Rated M for ridiculously graphic description of violence. I might write a good summary if I want to some day. - -
Crossover - Invader Zim & Johnny the Homicidal Maniac - Rated: M - English - Angst/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 789 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/30/2011 - Dib, Johnny C.
Playlist reviews
My attempt at the old playlist challenge. Mostly chatacter realizations.
Death Note - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,036 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 4/15/2011
Her Father's Daughter reviews
The year is 2024. AM is the smartest child in Wammy's house. She is reclusive, odd, and mostly emotionless, but extremely curious and intelligent. However, the old secrets of her unknown father may carry down to her. Rated T for language. OC, no Sue
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,727 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 4/12/2011 - Published: 3/2/2011 - Near
A Light in the Dark reviews
Mail Jeevas lost everything in his past. His home, his friends, his mother... Even his name has been replaced. What good can come of it when he's introduced to Wammy's house and his new roommate? Shonen-ai. Rated T for Language. ***HIATUS***
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,690 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 1/13/2011 - Published: 12/19/2010 - Matt, Mello