CALL-EM-AS-I-SEE-EM
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Joined 11-30-10, id: 2637252, Profile Updated: 04-16-12
Author has written 3 stories for Vampire Academy.

sup everyone...

I NOW HAVE A FICTIONPRESS.COM ACCOUNT UNDER THE SAME NAME PLEASE CHECK IT OUT XD

my names joi (joey)and yes i am a girl my mom was just a hippie before she died so my name is spelled difftent...and if there is anyone out there who has the same spelling am me...plz tell me ;) you will be my know best friend XD

im 16 and i love reading and wrighting. but i dont think im any good... so feal free to tell me if i suck... i promis not to get pissy

my friend tell me in good but i never feel like there really done!!!

i live in the frezing state of Ohio in the U.S.A...and yes it sucks here -_-

Today is a gift - that's why it's called the Present... can i talk to the person who gave it to me cuz it's a shitty present...

random facts about me

i dont live with eather of my parints... one is dead and the other is a dick and lives out west...january 14th is the 17th year of my life with out him! im not really looking foreward to my 18th birthday. (its going to suck cuz i wont have either of them with me to selabrats )

love reading ( but i get grounded from it all the time)

cant spell worth shit so you do not have to tell me i already know

love my friends(dont tell them but i like to read and wirght my story's more)

vampires kick ass (werewolfs suck ass)

witches of bitchin (and dont be dissin harry potter...his best friends twin brothers are sexy;))

i hate people who are pussies

if you piss me off you will regret it...ask my cuzin i was 4 and put him in the hospitl he was 10

I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I’m a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I’m a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone’s ass
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi. (I have a friend I call nazi…he’s so funny)
I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a alcoholic
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore
I have A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS so I MUST be dating them all
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I like COMPETITIVE DANCING, so I MUST be stuck up
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I like to READ, so I MUST have a lot of free time
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

Stereotypes suck!! Copy and paste... Bold the ones that people might think describe you.

C h o o s e Your Birthday Comment What You Got
Jan - I ate
Feb - I fucked
Mar - I ran naked with
April - I smoked with
... May - I ran shirtless with
June - I beat
July - I cuddled with
Aug - I needed
Sept - I shot
Oct - I shanked
Nov - I stabbed
Dec - I slept with

Pick the day (number) you were born on
01 - my lover
02 - a dog
03 - homer
04 - A homo
05 - a condom
06 - A toothbrush
07 - a hippie
08 - a glass of milk
09 - a porn star
10 - Paris Hilton
11 - the trojan man
12 - a teletubby
13 - the kool-aid man
14 - some crack heads
15 - an Easter egg
16 - a pot head
17 - a bum
18 - a stripper
19 - a horse
20 - a homeless guy
21 - a drink
22 - my best friend
23 - the cookie monster
24 - my boy friend
25 - a bowl of cereal
26 - a golf ball
27 - a bag of weed
28 - a french fry
29 - your mom
30 - your grandma
31 - a mop

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing
White - because hoes keep stealing my tacos
Black - because I'm sexy like that
Pink - Because I'm good in bed
Red - because I have AMAZING boobs
Brown- because I had to
Polka Dots - because I hate my life
Purple - because I'm gay
Gray - because I love marijuana
Other -because I have double D' s
Green - because I love to snort cocaine
Orange - because I smoked crack
Turquoise - because I have a noodle in my nose
Blue - because I'm a pimp
Shirtless - because I've got abs
Yellow - because I didn't like the way he/she looked at me

69696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969

“…I clung to him, one arm around his neck while my other hand gripped his back so hard that my nails practically dug in. He laid me back down on the bed. His hands wrapped around my thigh and pulled it up so that it nearly wrapped around him.

At the same time, we both pulled back briefly, still oh so close. Everything in the world rested on that moment.

‘We can’t…’ he told me.

‘I know,’ I agreed.

Then his mouth was on mine again, and this time, I know there would be no turning back…”

-vampire academy: shadow kissed…chapter 23

-favorite part

“…We try to do what’s right, or rather, what others say is right. But sometimes, when that goes against who we are… you have to choose…”

-Dimitri Belikov

“love fades has” (yea id of been like ‘bitch plz’ and kissed him.)

LOVE-LOVER-LOVE-LOVER-LOVE-LOVER-LOVE-LOVER-LOVE-LOVER-LOVE-LOVER-LOVE-LOVER-LOVE-LOVER-LOVE

ROSE HATHAWAT

DIMITRIE BELIKOV

D

DI

DIM

DIMI

DIMIT

DIMITR

DIMITRI

DIMITRI

DIMITRI +

DIMITRI + R

DIMITRI + RO

DIMITRI + ROS

DIMITRI + ROSE

DIMITRI + ROS

DIMITRI + RO

DIMITRI + R

DIMITRI +

DIMITRI

DIMITR

DIMIT

DIMI

DIM

DI

D

they be the best couple ever

LISSA DRAGOMIR

CHRISTIAN OZERA

C

CH

CHR

CHRI

CHRIS

CHRIST

CHRISTI

CHRISTIA

CHRISTIAN

CHRISTIAN +

CHRISTIAN + LI

CHRISTIAN + LIS

CHRISTIAN + LISS

CHRISTIAN + LISSA

CHRISTIAN + LISS

CHRISTIAN + LIS

CHRISTIAN + LI

CHRISTIAN + L

CHRISTIAN +

CHRISTIAN

CHRISTIA

CHRISTI

CHRIST

CHRIS

CHRI

CHR

CH

C

My friends say I'm badass, my parents say I'm heartless, but you can make up your owe mind about me ;) have a nice day or night what ever you want to say

BEST FRIENDS N FRIENDS:

FRIENDS: never ask anything to eat or drink

BEST FRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food

FRIENDS : Call your parents Mr. Mrs. and grandma and grandpa

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD or GRAMS AND GRANDPA

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying DAMN we screwed up

FRIENDS: Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch with you on movie night

BESTFRIENDS: Will pick out "The Ring" for movie night then scare you and himself/herself in the process

FRIENDS: Never seen you cry

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when your not down anymore

FRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and say nice to meet you

BEST FRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and scare the BLEEP out of him/her by threatening to break every bone in him/her's body if he/she hurts your bestfriend

FRIENDS: Will say you can do better

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him and say"you have seven days to live"

FRIENDS: Ask why you're crying

BEST FRIENDS:Already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry

FRIENDS: Will help you move

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move a dead body

FRIENDS: helps you up when you fall

BEST FRIENDS: continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"

FRIENDS: gives you their umbrella in the rain

BEST FRIENDS: takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"

FRIENDS: wipes your tears when your rejected

BEST FRIENDS: goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"

FRIENDS: will bail you out of jail

BEST FRIENDS: would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"

FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "my bad .. heres a tissue"

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life

FREINDS:Will leave you behind if thats what everyone else is doing

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd asses that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door

BEST FRIENDS:Would walk right in and say,"IM HOME"

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell

FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life

FRIENDS:Will be there to take your drink away when they think youve had enough

BEST FRIENDS:Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,"Girl drink the rest of that you know we dont waste

FRIENDS: comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: go over to his house and kick his ass

FRIENDS: bail you outta jail

BEST FRIENDS: sit next to you singing the jail song

FRIENDS: tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house

BEST FRIENDS: best friends are the ones getting fined by the police with you

FRIENDS: Think your insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline

BEST FRIENDS: Are jumping right after you

FRIENDS: come over every couple of months for a sleepover

BEST FRIENDS: are your weekend boarders

FRIENDS: are offended when you make fun of them

BEST FRIENDS: kick your ass and all's forgiven

FRIENDS: are shy around your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: will tease him till he blushes redder than a fire engine

FRIENDS: don't see you if you're sick

BEST FRIENDS: are why you're sitting in bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone

FRIENDS:dare you to scream into the street

BEST FRIENDS: dare you to go streaking

FRIENDS: call you retarded for running threw bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!"

BEST FRIENDS: are screaming and running with you

FREINDS: Will ignore this

BESTFRIENDS: Will repost this crap

Random Dialog:

Rose: Do I ever cross your mind? Dimitri: No

Rose: Do you like me?

Dimitri: No

Rose: Do you want me?

Dimitri: No

Rose: Would you cry if I left?

Dimitri: No

Rose: Would you live for me?

Dimitri: No

Rose: Would you do anything for me?

Dimitri: No

Rose: Choose--me or your life

Dimitri: My life

Rose runs away in shock and pain and Dimitri runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

NOW IN RUSSIAN

Случайные Диалог:
Роуз: Должен ли я когда-либо в Вашу голову? Дмитрий: Нет
Роуз: Я тебе нравлюсь?
Дмитрий: Нет
Роуз: Хотите ли вы меня?
Дмитрий: Нет
Роуз: Вы бы плакать, если я уйду?
Дмитрий: Нет
Роуз: Хотите ли вы жить для меня?
Дмитрий: Нет
Роуз: Хотите ли вы сделать что-нибудь для меня?
Дмитрий: Нет
Роуз: Выберите - меня или жизнь
Дмитрий: Моя жизнь
Роза убегает в шок и боль, и Дмитрий бежит за ней и говорит ...
причине вы никогда не крест мой взгляд, это потому что ты всегда в моих мыслях.
Причина, почему я не люблю тебя, потому что я люблю тебя.
Поэтому я не хочу, чтобы вы, потому что я нуждаюсь в тебе.
Поэтому я бы не плакать, если ты ушел, потому что я умру, если ты ушел.
Поэтому я не живу для тебя, потому что я готов был умереть за тебя.
Причина, почему я не желаю, чтобы вы что-нибудь для вас, потому что я сделал бы все для вас.
Поэтому я выбрал мою жизнь, потому что вы моей жизни.

and if you really want heres it in turkish cuz thats what rose is ;)

Rastgele İletişim:
Gül: Ben hiç aklından mı? Dimitri: Hayır
Gül: Beni sever misiniz?
Dimitri: Hayır
Gül: Beni istiyor musunuz?
Dimitri: Hayır
Rose bırakılırsa ağlamaya misiniz?
Dimitri: Hayır
Rose: Benim için yaşamak misiniz?
Dimitri: Hayır
Rose: Benim için bir şey yapar mıydım?
Dimitri: Hayır
Gül: seçin - me ya da hayatınızın
Dimitri: Hayatım
Rose, şok ve acı içinde kaçar Dimitri onun peşinden koşar ve der ki ...
Her zaman on my mind çünkü fikrimi asla çapraz nedeni budur.
Seni seviyorum, çünkü ben sizin gibi neden nedeni.
Çünkü sana ihtiyacım var, seni istemiyorum nedeni.
Bırakılırsa ölecektir çünkü bırakılırsa ben ağlamaya olmaz nedeni budur.
Senin için ölmek, çünkü senin için yaşamak olmaz nedendir.
Senin için her şeyi yapacağını, çünkü ben sizin için her şeyi yapmaya razı değilim neden nedeni budur.
Hayatımda ARE, çünkü hayatımı seçtim nedeni budur.

WARNING: MAY NEED TISSUES FOR THESE:

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back."The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."

"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl:Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy:No, this is fun.

Girl:No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy:Then tell me you love me.

Girl:I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this into your profile if you would do this for someone you love.

I've got a little thing to say to all my friends.

If you cry, I cry...

If you laugh, I laugh...

If you fight, I fight...

If you jump off a cliff...

I'm gonna miss your retarded ass...

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.

This is Written by a Guy!!

Not Me i Just Thought It Was Cute

We guys don't care if you talk to other guys.

We don't care if you're friends with other guys.

But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it makes us kinda mad.

It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there..

We don't care if a guy calls >OR TEXTSbut at 2 in the morning we do get a littl e concerned.

Nothing is that important at 2 a.m.

That it can't wait till the morning.

Also, when we tell you you're pretty/ beautiful/ gorgeous/
cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it..

Don't tell us we're wrong.

We'll stop trying to convince you.

The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.

Yeah, you can quote me.

Don't be mad when we hold the door open.

Take Advantage of the mood im in.

Let us pay for you!

dont 'feel bad'

We enjoy doing it.

It's expected.

Smile and say 'thank you.

Kiss us when no one's watching.

If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.

You don't have to get dressed up for us.

If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to
wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own.

We like you for who you are and not what you are.

Honestly, i think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's.

or my tshirt and boxers, not all dolled up..

Don't take everything we say seriously.

Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.

Don't get angry easily.

Stop using magazines/media as your bible.

Don't talk about how hott Chris Brown,
Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is in front of us.

It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for that.

Whatever happened to the word 'handsome'/'beautiful'
i'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me
with 'Hey handsome!' instead of 'Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy' or whatever else you can think of.

On the other hand im not sayin i woulndnt like it ether ; )

Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren't being treated right by a guy, dont wait for him to change!!

Ditch his sorry butt, disgrace to the male population
and find someone who will treat you with utter respect

Someone who will honor your morals.

Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.

Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.

Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.

Someone who will stop what they're doing just to look you in the eyes...and say 'i love you' .and actually mean it.

Give the nice guys a chance.

Every Guy who isn't a jerk will agree with this,
so we hope that all the girls that read this will repost this

What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:

When she walks away from you mad, follow her
When she stares at your mouth, Kiss her
When she pushes you or hit's you, Grab her and don't let go
When she starts cussing at you, Kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet, Ask her what's wrong
When she ignores you, Give her your attention
When she pulls away, Pull her back
When you see her at her worst, Tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying, Just hold her and don't say a word
When you see her walking, Sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared, Protect her
When she lays her head on your shoulder, Tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steals your favorite hat, Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she teases you, Tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesn't answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay
When she looks at you with doubt, Back yourself up
When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand
When she grabs at your hands, Hold hers' and play with her fingers
When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does
When she misses you, she's hurting inside
When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away
When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers
When she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it
Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.
When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
Call her before you sleep and after you wake up
Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
Tease her and let her tease you back
Stay up all night with her when she's sick
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid
Give her the world
Let her wear your clothes
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her
Let her know she's important
Kiss her in the pouring rain
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"

heres some random russian words...

Hay there cowboy - Эй ковбойMy

beautiful babies- моя прекрасная младенцев

From the bellow of the saint, lies the heart of a pure maiden - От мехов святого, находится сердце чистой девы

I love you- я тебя люблю

I hate you- Я тебя ненавижу

Guardian angel – Ангел-хранитель

Angel - ангел

Demon - демон

Sister- сестра

My sweet one- сладкая моя

Tender kiss – тендер поцелуй

Special touches - Специальные Контакты

end - конец

READ VAMPIRE ACADEMY OR I'LL PROVOKE THE STRIGOI AND BLAME YOU!

-if you wish you could go to St. Vladimir's Academy like Rose and Lissa and meet a guy like Dimitri, put this on your profile

-if you are so angry at the freaking strigoi for turning Dimitri and taking him away from Rose, post this

-if vampires are real, post it

-if you have read every vampire book you can get your little hands on, post it up!

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lissa's dress - mr and mrs belikov

http://www.aliexpress.com/store/15999/206443000-242993943/Free-Shipping-Strapless-Light-Blue-Knee-Length-Bridesmaids-Dress-JH907.html

rose's dress - mr and mrs belikov

http://www.nexteve.com/shop/cocktail-dresses/F6378.html

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Falling For You by GoNeRoGuE98 reviews
He was her best friend growing up but they grew apart. Now years later, they meet again. New feelings arise and relationships are tested. Will Rose be able to realize her feelings for Dimitri before it's too late? Or will she lose him again, only this time forever? AH.
Vampire Academy - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 23,163 - Reviews: 254 - Favs: 168 - Follows: 159 - Updated: 4/10 - Published: 4/23/2011 - Rose H., Dimitri B. - Complete
Lonely? by kittykat420 reviews
Rose catches Dimitri in the shower, and plans to take advantage.. PWP,SMUT LEMONS! Many lemons! Please R&R
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 7,606 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 129 - Updated: 3/10 - Published: 10/25/2012 - Rose H., Dimitri B. - Complete
Hook, Line and Sinker by Roza-Dimka-Reader reviews
Rose works at her parents F.B.I branch. She meets a brown-eyed Russian god and their one night together has its consequences. Rated M for lemons. (In the process of editing earlier chapters due to errors and seemingly, an inability to write good English two years ago :P)
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 53 - Words: 95,780 - Reviews: 736 - Favs: 378 - Follows: 265 - Updated: 3/3 - Published: 7/20/2012 - Rose H., Dimitri B. - Complete
Tempting Fate by Reader.Writer.TVLover reviews
When Rose moved to New York City to be closer to Christian and Lissa, she was blindsided when the only man she'd ever loved walked back into her life. AU/AH
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 31 - Words: 41,490 - Reviews: 1736 - Favs: 526 - Follows: 830 - Updated: 12/29/2013 - Published: 3/12/2013 - Rose H., Dimitri B.
Freaks & Geeks by beautiflxoblvn reviews
"It's 'come as you aren't night! The perfect chance for a girl to get sexy and wild, with no repercussions." Halloween PWP.
Austin & Ally - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,702 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 36 - Published: 11/4/2013 - Austin M., Ally D. - Complete
StThomas by corilouchette reviews
Isabella Maria is an aspiring nun living in an orphanage. Her world is turned upside down when she saves a beautiful stranger from drowning, and he repays her by exchanging donations for the orphanage for her sexual favors. One shot.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,722 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 21 - Published: 6/19/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Nanny by Little-Angry-Kitten reviews
He wondered how much time he had left. How much time before she gave up on him and move on? How much time until he would lose her once and for all? AH/AU
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,035 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 20 - Published: 4/27/2013 - Dimitri B., Rose H., Christian O., Lissa D. - Complete
Reprioritizing His Priorities by HollowIsTheWorld reviews
Robert Lightwood had always wanted what was best for his children. However, after an argument about his eldest's sexuality, it takes an unusual man with an unusual power to show him that he's not always right about what it is that's best. Rated for heavy swearing and prostitution. Malec, but only in the background.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,520 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/11/2013 - Alec L., Robert L. - Complete
Reunion by LanaW.81 reviews
After months spent apart Rose and Dimitri can finally be together again and Dimitri has a few surprises for Rose. He's determined to keep his promise and has a very passionate reunion in mind.
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,309 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 4/2/2013 - Published: 12/10/2012 - Rose H., Dimitri B. - Complete
Fifty Shades of Threesome by SD130413 reviews
Ana and Christian have a guest visiting Escala, who is it and how the hell does it become a threesome? I blame Marpuri, Lizlemon, Lulu Price, Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps and the rest of you guys involved in that convo over on FB!
Fifty Shades Trilogy - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,558 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 51 - Published: 3/23/2013 - Christian G., Anastasia S. - Complete
The Locker Room Boys by CameronZinner reviews
A clumsy and innocent run-in after practice in freshman year had evolved to become an intricate and structured 'release session' - a post-game ritual complete with a set of collective and common unspoken rules. "Rule #1 What happens in the locker room, STAYS in the locker room." Troy/Chad/Zeke one-shot. SLASH! M for HEAVY SEXUAL CONTENT and bad language! Please review!
High School Musical - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,120 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/12/2013 - Troy B., Chad D., Zeke B. - Complete
Fated by Reader.Writer.TVLover reviews
After their one night stand, Rose Hathaway never thought she'd see Dimitri again. So when she shows up for her first college class and sees Professor Belikov standing at the front of the classroom, she realizes that fate isn't on her side. AU/AH
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 39,207 - Reviews: 1181 - Favs: 667 - Follows: 594 - Updated: 3/12/2013 - Published: 4/29/2012 - Rose H., Dimitri B. - Complete
A Night To Remember by RozaBelikova-x reviews
Rose and Dimitri have been best friends since they were kids. When Rose is fifteen, her mom wants to move back to Montana with her. Before she leaves, Dimitri confesses his love for her. She promises him to come back so they can be together. But when she finally returns, she finds out that Dimitri is engaged. What will Dimitri do when Rose is back? First fanfic.
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 40,344 - Reviews: 197 - Favs: 187 - Follows: 132 - Updated: 2/28/2013 - Published: 1/25/2013 - Rose H., Dimitri B. - Complete
Having fun yet? by The Lost Voice reviews
"This was getting frustrating. She'd never admit it, but it was." Let's just be honest here, it's just your pointless lemony goodness. :P
Danny Phantom - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,826 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 12 - Published: 11/5/2012 - Danny F., Sam M. - Complete
Seduction by Take Me To My Fragile Dreams reviews
Alec has become rather infatuated with the bed sheets and Magnus is beyond frustrated. "I'm just showing some proper appreciation." "Appreciation? Alec, you're molesting the sheets!"
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,402 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 21 - Published: 8/16/2012 - Alec L., Magnus B. - Complete
Here Is The Place Where I Love You by The Very Last Valkyrie reviews
There's never enough time to be selfish. Intimate Galeniss.
Hunger Games - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,000 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/4/2012 - Gale H., Katniss E. - Complete
The Elevator Incident by Reader.Writer.TVLover reviews
Dimitri and Rose find themselves breaking their deal when they're trapped in an elevator together . Oneshot!
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,190 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 28 - Published: 7/17/2012 - Rose H., Dimitri B. - Complete
Midnight in Pajamas by Jagger3 reviews
When the Lightwoods need downworlder assistance with the Accords, they turn to the High Warlock of Brooklyn. But when Alec ingnores this boyfriend throughout the entire meeting, Magnus decides to sneak into his room late at night and confront Alec about it.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,058 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 14 - Published: 6/18/2012 - Alec L., Magnus B. - Complete
The Last Night by theonlyeligoldsworthy reviews
What if Julia didn't die in a car accident? Song fic to the song "The Last Night" by Skillet.
Degrassi - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,218 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/10/2012 - Eli G., Julia - Complete
Make It Hurt by VampbaitInfinity reviews
Nudge's sexual dreams about Iggy are forced out of her and Iggy wants to know her view on them. And he doesn't take no for an answer. NudgexIggy Niggy Lemons OF COURSE! YOU KNOW HOW I ROLL! :P
Maximum Ride - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,215 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 4/10/2012 - Published: 10/27/2011 - Iggy, Nudge - Complete
Hello New Boy by mothamaeghan reviews
Magnus falls for the new kid the first moment he sees him. Will the new kid feel the same? First FanFic, I will try my best at side pairings. M/A, J/C, I/S. R&R. BoyxBoy, don't like don't read.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 40 - Words: 90,726 - Reviews: 395 - Favs: 241 - Follows: 168 - Updated: 3/3/2012 - Published: 4/7/2011 - Alec L., Magnus B. - Complete
Anything For You by KittySkywalker reviews
Anna has grown tired of Gabriel dictating what happens in the bedroom. As the strong princess that she is, she decides to rectify that. AnnaxGabriel. M for a reason. Please R&R.
Van Helsing - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,680 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 12 - Published: 1/17/2012 - Anna Valerious, Van Helsing - Complete
The Heart's Deceit by meetjasper reviews
Dimitri left not to become Tasha's guardian but because he simply could or atleast that's what everyone assumes. Five years later he returns to find a set of twins who call Rose mommy. Why did he leave and what made him come back?
Vampire Academy - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 10,935 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 135 - Updated: 1/1/2012 - Published: 12/5/2010 - Rose H., Dimitri B.
Gold Diggers by Jemmasgiirl reviews
SEMMA.Emma is 16 with brains&beauty. Her mothers a gold digger and dating a rich 28 year old. When they leave Emma for a few weeks at the mansion, she's taken hostage by a gang of wanted theives, and she falls in love with one of them, Sean. MJustIncase
Degrassi - Rated: M - English - Romance/Crime - Chapters: 11 - Words: 17,504 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 12/28/2011 - Published: 8/17/2009 - Emma N., Sean C. - Complete
A New Charge Formerly called Best Kept Secrets by Uprising-and-Nicki-Minaj reviews
Rose and Dimitri are struggling with there relationship because Dimitri has been assigned to guard the new girl from Russia. There is something very different about this royal Moroi. Previously called 'Best Kept Secrets' . ON HIATUS SORRY
Vampire Academy - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 7 - Words: 9,604 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 11/21/2011 - Published: 3/10/2011 - Rose H., Dimitri B.
Her Russian God by Uprising-and-Nicki-Minaj reviews
Dimitri Belikov just moved into his dead uncles mansion when the girl next door caught his eye. Something's different about her. She's good at everything she tries. But that is not all and it's the very thing that draws him in. ON HIATUS SORRY
Vampire Academy - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,223 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 11/21/2011 - Published: 10/25/2010 - Rose H., Dimitri B.
Concrete Angel by sweetcrimefighter reviews
10 year olds Edward and Bella are best friends. But Bella lives in an abusive home and Edward knows, but is sworn to secrecy. When he moves, he never forgets about her. What will happen when their paths cross 7 years later? Please read. Thanks.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 14 - Words: 18,836 - Reviews: 156 - Favs: 195 - Follows: 193 - Updated: 11/16/2011 - Published: 6/11/2009 - Bella, Edward
Three ways to love by KrystalRose92 reviews
ONE SHOT! LEMONY SMUT! It is Jace's birthday and what does he want? A two girl threesome, Clary must pick the girl, what happens when Isabelle steps up? STRICTLY ONE SHOT JACEXCLARYXIZZY
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,344 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 29 - Published: 10/20/2011 - Clary F. - Complete
You're My Better Half by They Call Me Alice reviews
"And that was when I knew my life was over. Dimitri was standing in the doorway of our apartment, watching me intensely. He had seen me masturbating to the thought of him." DROSE & CHRISSA. MATURE AUDIENCE ONLY! AU, AH, SOME OOC-NESS.
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,958 - Reviews: 244 - Favs: 168 - Follows: 233 - Updated: 9/20/2011 - Published: 12/15/2010 - Dimitri B., Rose H.
Running to my future by sexykitty9999099 reviews
this is my first story so be nice...thank you
Fallen - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 627 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/10/2011
Terrified by saucyerin reviews
Sean is finally back from the war, but he has some problems. Emma's decided to help him through it. Where will thiss lead them?
Degrassi - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,906 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/28/2011 - Sean C., Emma N. - Complete
My 200 Days With Him by SKDanielle16 reviews
Part One and Two. Rose and Dimitri meet and apparently only have 200 days together. Or do they? Part One set up a bit like 500 Days of Summer. Part Two is follow-up. OOC. AH. RxD?
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 72,389 - Reviews: 239 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 8/6/2011 - Published: 7/7/2011 - Rose H., Dimitri B. - Complete
Where You Belong by sadtomato reviews
Carlisle's new boyfriend is young, sweet, and sexy-but he's also incredibly shy. Can Carlisle draw him out of his shell? M for lemons and "Daddy" stuff-you've been warned. An entry for the Pimp My Bunnies contest.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 18,321 - Reviews: 359 - Favs: 781 - Follows: 357 - Updated: 8/1/2011 - Published: 4/22/2011 - Carlisle, Edward - Complete
Truth or Dare by Lunaraquafy reviews
What happens when Grace and the gang are bored at Beck's house? Smut! Takes place sometime during Linger. Warning: Rated M for a reason.
Shiver, Maggie Stiefvater - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,212 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 9 - Published: 6/12/2011 - Complete
Family Night by CelticInTheAU reviews
Post Last Sacrifice. The gang are all back together after some "assignment re-arranging", and are ready to have some fun as a family once more. RXD LXC
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,087 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 13 - Published: 5/31/2011 - Rose H., Dimitri B. - Complete
Dreaming Of Ecstasy by Roman Lewinsky reviews
Rose has a very erotic dream involving her Dimitri and a cabin. Rated M for very graphic lemon.
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,458 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 14 - Published: 5/26/2011 - Rose H., Dimitri B. - Complete
Last Sacrifice The ending by mac0214 reviews
The day to pay for her crimes are coming faster than she thought possible.Someone unexpected comes to the rescue, but it will cost them their life, will Rose let them? Will she have a choice? Rated M for later chapters.Please read and review.
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 40 - Words: 128,554 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 5/5/2011 - Published: 9/29/2010 - Rose H., Dimitri B. - Complete
Thin Walls by MaybeThere'sHope reviews
Remember how Jace used to hear Maryse sing to Alec through the wall? Well, he can still hear through it. Just...not something as innocent as singing anymore. Malec. A little OOC, so don't say I didn't warn you. M/M, Lemon, Naughty. :
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,462 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 227 - Follows: 44 - Published: 5/5/2011 - Alec L., Magnus B. - Complete
Our Daughter Our Little Angel by T.RxD reviews
Dimitri takes Tasha's offer right after the battle at the Academy. Little did he know he was leaving much more than a heartbroken Rose...9 months later Rose gave birth to her little angel. What happens when Dimitri returns four years later?
Vampire Academy - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 35 - Words: 127,334 - Reviews: 1847 - Favs: 894 - Follows: 804 - Updated: 4/30/2011 - Published: 5/8/2010 - Rose H., Dimitri B.
VABJ by TsukiNoKishi reviews
When training with someone like Rose, you should really pay attention to what you do with your stake. It might cause you troubleXD. DimitriXRose, Lemon, M
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,219 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 28 - Published: 4/29/2011 - Dimitri B., Rose H. - Complete
Making Up Time by musiksnob reviews
When Eli tells Clare about a sexy dream he had, she is nervous about the pace in which their physical relationship is progressing. Oneshot.
Degrassi - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,758 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 9 - Published: 3/27/2011 - Clare E., Eli G. - Complete
Kiss it all Better by Chidori R. Fullbuster reviews
AU songfic to Kiss it Better by He is We. One-shot. Rated T for character death.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,230 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/21/2011 - Blaine A., Kurt H. - Complete
A Woman by Duchess Sophie von Teschen reviews
"I would catch myself looking at you… I kept asking myself, why do I feel for this soldier the way I should feel for a woman?" Rated M for sexuality.
Mulan - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,449 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 178 - Follows: 38 - Published: 2/26/2011 - Mulan, Shang - Complete
Lesson Learned by CloudedMindx reviews
Clary is a 24 year old high school English teacher, Jace is a 17 year old English student, what happens when they meet and unknown feelings make themself known? AH AU M for later dirty dreams and lemons!
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 21 - Words: 58,480 - Reviews: 426 - Favs: 451 - Follows: 243 - Updated: 1/12/2011 - Published: 2/10/2010 - Clary F., Jace W. - Complete
School Uniform by Rose-Dimitri-Hathaway-Belikov reviews
St. Vladimir's gets a uniform. Something new happens every day at the academy. Rose and Dimitri are finally together.
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 30 - Words: 78,264 - Reviews: 527 - Favs: 503 - Follows: 242 - Updated: 1/10/2011 - Published: 7/5/2010 - Rose H., Dimitri B. - Complete
Guardian Angel by bluestarberry reviews
This is essentially a Rose&Dimitri story, but for something a little different, I thought I'd send the gang to Australia for a little fun in the Land Down Under. Rated M for language and content.
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 105,238 - Reviews: 176 - Favs: 178 - Follows: 102 - Updated: 12/8/2010 - Published: 2/15/2010 - Rose H., Dimitri B. - Complete
Daunting Time by LaPushWolf reviews
Quil/Claire. Claire is frustrated at the rate which she is growing up. She finds herself trying everything possible to prove she isn't just little claire bear anymore. Rated M
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 143,639 - Reviews: 1255 - Favs: 664 - Follows: 357 - Updated: 12/6/2010 - Published: 1/5/2010 - Quil Jr., Claire - Complete
Brotherly Love by ShounenSuki reviews
Ron stumbles upon his two elder brothers having some night-time fun and is 'persuaded' to join in for some brotherly bonding. A George, Fred, and Ron Weasley fic, written for my sister and to up my word count for NaNoWriMo
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,926 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 15 - Published: 11/15/2010 - Ron W., George W. - Complete
Wedding Bells by musegirl reviews
When Jade and Mark's wedding brings Mary-Lynnette and Ash together for the first time in two years, sparks fly. But will they be for better or for worse? Rated M for language and lemons.
Night World series - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 31,810 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 174 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 11/10/2010 - Published: 3/15/2010 - Ash R., Mary-Lynette C. - Complete
What Went Wrong by lovelylavern reviews
It had been 6 weeks since the cabin, 6 wonderful weeks of many stolen kisses and constant memories of THAT night. But, Dimitri just received the shock of a lifetime, one that ruins Rose's life too. And it all started withe the words, "Tasha is pregnant.
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 55,839 - Reviews: 331 - Favs: 222 - Follows: 112 - Updated: 11/8/2010 - Published: 8/27/2010 - Rose H., Dimitri B. - Complete
Harry, Ginny and Polyjuice Potion by harryginny1 reviews
Harry has a brilliant idea! He loves Ginny and knows her inside and out. But, he wants to REALLY know what it feels like to be her - just for a little while. Will Ginny consent to his little experiment?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,803 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 19 - Published: 8/31/2010 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
31 More Things Emmett Cullen Is Forbidden From by theprettiestwhistles reviews
Emmett Cullen is not allowed to order clay pigeons in the shape of Aro's face... or shoot them while in the complimentary hot tub in one of the Volturi's guest rooms. M to be VERY safe
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 570 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/30/2010 - Emmett, Seth - Complete
Kick ass by anitabelikov reviews
Dimitri and Rose kicks the cullens butt.
Crossover - Twilight & Vampire Academy - Rated: T - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 557 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 7 - Published: 8/28/2010 - Rose H. - Complete
What Nessie Wants Nessie Gets! by Okee's Mom reviews
Nessie/Jacob. Songfic, lemons, wedding honeymoon, war. Nessie is back from boarding school. Jacob has grown into his manhood, his leadership and his talents. She wants him to see her as a woman. Will her plan work?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 27,083 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/3/2010 - Published: 7/31/2010 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Jacob - Complete
I Only Wanted a Sandwich by emopygmepuff reviews
"Harry opened the door to the seventh-year's dormitory expecting to collapse on his four-poster bed. The expanse of the mattress was taken up by the redheaded nymph he'd been dreaming about for months." ONE-SHOT, HP/GW lemon, post BoH. REVIEW!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,906 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 12 - Published: 7/30/2010 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
Emmett's Discovery by Clydell Humphries reviews
Emmett has discovered something... VAMPIRES CAN GO ON HIGHS! What happens if he tests his theory and what will Edward do? Read and review! Rated T because I'm paranoid.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,396 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/20/2010 - Published: 7/2/2010 - Edward, Emmett - Complete
Taken An Alternate Ending to Shadow Kiss by MadameRozaBelikova reviews
In the caves Rose is taken instead. Can Dimitri and the rest find her before it's too late and she joins the undead? Can Rose overcome the obstacles that stand in the way of her love and happiness? Can true love and friendship conquer all? Slightly OOC!
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 60 - Words: 114,710 - Reviews: 933 - Favs: 503 - Follows: 211 - Updated: 7/14/2010 - Published: 2/23/2010 - Rose H., Dimitri B. - Complete
Something about life by sammy-emma reviews
Sequal to Kick ass. What happens when lissa embraces her magic? or Adrian falls in love with someone forbidden? Or will Dimitri and rose ever finish what they have started? theres always something about life huh? x read its better than is sounds XD
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 80,584 - Reviews: 231 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 5/13/2010 - Published: 4/10/2010 - Rose H., Dimitri B. - Complete
kick ass by sammy-emma reviews
what happens when adrian switches there souls round ? how will rose keep her hands of herself dimitri ? how will lissa go the toilet Adrian ? and how will dimitri suvive school rose ? soul switches what happens when life kick's your ass ?
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 31 - Words: 65,168 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 4/10/2010 - Published: 2/25/2010 - Complete
I Love You Too, by Dhampir.Doll reviews
Eddie and Mason!Lemons!
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 864 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 5 - Published: 2/27/2010 - Eddie C., Mason A. - Complete
War: Guardian Vs Novice by Belikov's-Girl reviews
This is the continuation of the talk by agirlnamedraven. The novice guardians have just graduated and have just declared war on the gaurdians. Lots of pranks to be pulled and with Rose god knows what will happen. Dimitri never died in shadow kissed. Lemon
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 43,678 - Reviews: 313 - Favs: 431 - Follows: 127 - Updated: 2/19/2010 - Published: 1/21/2010 - Rose H., Dimitri B. - Complete
You Can Ride the Donkey by CrystalB4 reviews
When Emmett find's Rosalie's dildo he gets kind of jealous. But when he learns that she has more than one he gets all excited. Read and see what happens when the time comes to play and Rose introduces him to her little friends. For Mature Audiences Only.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,744 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 6 - Published: 10/6/2009 - Emmett, Rosalie - Complete
A Year Long Love Letter by harryginny1 reviews
The war is over, Harry begins his Auror training, and Ginny returns to Hogwarts for her 7th year. They begin to explore the physical and emotional aspects of their relationship...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 13 - Words: 89,723 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 150 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 10/2/2009 - Published: 8/27/2009 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
51 things Emmett Cullen is not allowed to do : by TwiGirls09 reviews
This is our version of 51 things Emmett Cullen is not allowed to do. Inspierd by the indifferent child of earths 51 things emmett cullen is not allowed to do. Hope you like it :
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 884 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/5/2009 - Emmett - Complete
Discovery by Murder in the Dark reviews
Claire discovers the wonders of pleasure and Quil gives in to his hormonal needs. Lemon. One Shot.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,497 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 13 - Published: 2/5/2009 - Claire, Quil Jr. - Complete
41 Things Emmett Cullen Must Not Do by Shikamaru's Shadows reviews
Self-explanatory.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 586 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 8 - Published: 12/7/2008 - Emmett - Complete
Rules for Emmett Cullen by Kelsey Goode reviews
Rules of things Emmett Cullen is not allowed to do! Very funny!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 664 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 123 - Follows: 22 - Published: 9/27/2008 - Emmett - Complete
Homecoming by sataldajamahel reviews
One-shot. Lemon. Quil comes home from patrol to a very pleasant surprise.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,631 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/6/2008 - Claire, Quil Jr. - Complete
More Than Siblings by Katamuki reviews
What happends when 16 year old Ginny gets curious about the Men, and her Harry's not there to help her? Or when a summer of playful banter and fun times lead the Twins into their younger sister bedroom? INCEST! Sex, and all that good stuff, COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,731 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 10/28/2007 - Published: 1/20/2007 - Ginny W., George W. - Complete
Surprised by Malalou reviews
When you open a door, you have to expect to be surprised or to surprise someone, that's what Ron learnt... Oneshot
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,378 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/22/2005 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
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mrs and mr belikov reviews
rose is 18 and is hidding something from dimitri when he away visitting home cuz he get suspendid... sry first story and not good at summarys
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 36,480 - Reviews: 225 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 107 - Updated: 4/11/2012 - Published: 1/7/2011 - Dimitri B., Rose H.
what love can get you throw! reviews
this is all human and rose and dimitri are close to the same age
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 17,963 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 4/11/2012 - Published: 9/10/2011 - Dimitri B., Rose H.
ridinm' cowboy reviews
Summery – very, very lemony…?Just how good do you think Dimitri's coat looks on a naked Rose? Dimitri was never taken in the battle at the Academy…
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,727 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 146 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 12/15/2011 - Published: 3/25/2011 - Dimitri B., Rose H. - Complete