Reine de la Mort
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Joined 12-05-10, id: 2643954, Profile Updated: 03-06-16

Hiya!

If you're reading this, you probably came from one of my reviews of your story. If I've reviewed your story, it usually means one of a few things:

1. Your story is terrific. I love it like a bar of Magnum Gold on a hot day. It's got proper English language usage, pacing, setting, characterisation, an interesting premise, everything I love in a perfect story. Basically, I'm reviewing just to gush about my love for your writing.

2. You're a good author... but not one of the best... but you could be. And my review is simply to tell you about the things I feel you could improve on. It's just my opinion, though, and obviously I haven't written anything to prove I can do better or that I'm worth listening to.

3. You're an awesomely hilarious troll and I salute your efforts in providing cheap Internet laughs in the face of people who take proper writing way too seriously.

That's about it for now. Rest assured, whatever category you fall into, I don't review stories that I don't consider special or unique in some way. Nor will I ever flame, beg for updates, or complain about pairings, because none of that shit flies in my book. Some authors say that a single good reviewer can make up for 5 hours' worth of grueling work. I haven't written any story of note yet, so I'll be that good reviewer.



Favourites:

In my years spent lurking and devouring this site, I have developed a habit of trawling through the lists of stories, favourited by authors who have, in turn, written stories I love. One generally expects that a good author should be able to recognise good writing, which is indeed generally the case. I've found many of my favourite stories this way, and as such, I have finally bothered to keep an actual list of said favourite stories on this site, instead of in my highly-susceptible brain.

So for anyone who may be looking at my favourites list for the same reason I look at those of good authors, you may find that the stories I chose to favour come in a wide variety of flavours. Some are long, some are short. Some are hilarious, others are depressing. Some are serious, contemplative works of art, a meditative reflection of the realities of human nature, and others are the literary equivalent of that guy who painted the Virgin Mary using feces. Nonetheless, the one thing they all have in common, is that je ne sais quoi that makes a story unique, whether it be through their good writing, characterisation, or premise. As a long-time reader, I shall assure you this: No story on my favourites list will turn out to be a half-assed effort on the part of the author. Each and every single one of them earned my personal stamp of approval and I wholeheartedly recommend all of them to everyone, ever, and nothing except a first-rate story will earn that stamp. They may make you laugh, or cry, and some might even change your life, but they all certainly touched me in a completely innocent, metaphorical way, and that is why they are favourites.


Pet Peeves:

Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy characterization be followed,

In fanfic, as it is in canon.

Give us this day our daily spellcheck,

And forgive us our plotholes,

As we forgive those who gloss over important details.

Lead us not into badfic,

But deliver us from OOC.

For thine is the kingdom, and the glory, and the fandom forever.

Amen.

-- Credits to Snakes on a Sora, part of Organization VI.

Having spent several years on this site, and a fair few more on the Internet as a whole, I've read more than my fair share of fanfiction. Several million words' worth, as it were. In that time, I've encountered good authors, bad authors, so-so authors, and authors that did lots of things that truly annoyed me as a reader and reviewer who strives to maintain good reviewer etiquette and provide constructive criticism. Here is a handy list of things that I find are a mark of a sub-par author.

1. Announcing "This is my first fanfic, please no flames/criticism/hatred/blah blah" in the summary

Very good! You've finally summoned the conviction and courage to write your fanfiction and post it on the Internet for all and sundry to read! Now get this simple fact through your head: Nobody cares if it's your first fanfic. If you're new and your writing especially sucks ass, that's all the more reason for people to point out what you're doing wrong, so that you can improve. Trying to use your inexperience as an excuse to let your story suck ass just shows that you're not interested in improving as a writer.

2. Announcing "I suck at summaries/I suck at this" in the summary

Oh, I see. You suck at summaries. Is that supposed to fill me with confidence that the rest of your story won't also suck? If you cannot come up with a decent summary for your own writing, I don't even know what to say about that, except that I'll just move on to an author that can write a good summary for their good story.

3. Begging for reviews... everywhere

I get it, I do. You want reviews, you want feedback. You want people to talk about your story. Well, different people want reviews for different reasons. Some want constructive criticism, some want to pad their review count, and some just want people to suck their metaphorical dicks. It's the same with any kind of effort anyone puts into anything, but especially with an art form. Still, it's annoying and makes you look really desperate for attention if you keep on asking for reviews.

To be clear, saying something simple like "R&R" in every chapter isn't that bad. It's when you start adding in long author's notes bitching about people who don't review, or threatening to hold back chapters for more reviews, that I stop wanting to review. You're under no obligation to write what you write for free, and nor are readers to leave reviews. Also, review count is no indication of a story's quality. If you're getting lots of reviews, that does not necessarily mean that your writing is good.

4. Wanting constructive/meaningful reviews

To be fair, this isn't something I see publicly all too often. And sure, it's a good thing for an author to appreciate reviews that are well-thought out and provide constructive criticism. I do like it when an author takes the time to reply to my reviews and say how much they appreciate the constructive criticism I try to provide. It shows that they want to improve. Nothing wrong with improving.

But when you start actively complaining about the lack of constructive criticism you're getting, and complaining that most people just leave you mindless reviews that say meaningless crap like "Good job" or "Update soon", that's when you might want to look at your own writing. A good story does not need its author to keep on demanding reviews to get them. If you want reviews, and good reviews at that, write something worth reviewing. Quality stands on its own and it doesn't need advertisement.

5. Announcing "Vote on which pairing/plot twist/plot power/whatever you want in my story!"

You're really going to ask your readers to decide what happens in your own fanfiction? Is it some kind of choose-your-own-adventure story? Or are you simply incapable of writing your own bloody fanfiction? Letting your readers decide what happens next is not only ridiculously lazy, it shows that you're so indecisive and afraid of negative backlash that you probably shouldn't be writing fanfiction in the first place. Or writing at all.

This kind of writing is often seen with South Korean dramas, in which only the first few episodes are prepared before the show beings airing, and then the rest of the episodes are filmed during the show's run. Over the course of the run, South Korean drama writers often turn to public opinion and see what viewers think should happen in the story, or would like to happen in the story, and write that in... even if it necessitates a sudden and illogical change in established plot points and characterisation.

Now, not all South Korean dramas necessarily do this, of course. Some might do it, but they end up doing it well. Plenty of them, on the other hand, crash and burn when the writing takes a bad turn. It is exactly as stupid as it sounds. Don't do this with your own fanfiction.

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Dauntless by Allora Gale reviews
Lelouch had been quite happy with his life. Sure they were living in obscurity, but he and Nunnally were safe. All of that changes however, when his identity is revealed and Lelouch is forced back into the fold of the Imperial family.
Code Geass - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 98 - Words: 674,275 - Reviews: 7435 - Favs: 4,609 - Follows: 4,107 - Updated: 8/21 - Published: 7/25/2010 - Lelouch L.
Belladonna Lilies by DezoPenguin reviews
In a gaslamp-fantasy Victorian era shaped by the discovery of Dust, two women's lives take on a collision course. Blake Belladonna, searching for her future, and Weiss Schnee, learning the meaning of her past, may find that each other holds the key to finding what truth exists within their web of duty, honor, and pride. Updates on the first Saturday of each month.
RWBY - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 51 - Words: 213,984 - Reviews: 275 - Favs: 153 - Follows: 162 - Updated: 8/6 - Published: 2/1/2014 - [Blake Belladonna, Weiss Schnee]
Only A Boy by Riddell Lee reviews
AR. Merlin has changed Camelot forever but while that part of his life is complete, destiny has a new task for him. Now he has to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, hide the fact that he's the Merlin, and defeat a Dark Lord that's messing with magic he knows nothing about.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Merlin - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 41 - Words: 269,574 - Reviews: 3450 - Favs: 3,049 - Follows: 3,424 - Updated: 6/17 - Published: 4/12/2012 - Merlin
Morality Chain by Pureauthor reviews
/AU-ish/ "You're my brother. That's got to count for something. Right, Zuzu?" If Azula and Zuko had always cared for each other, how different would their live's paths have been?
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 35 - Words: 200,954 - Reviews: 1493 - Favs: 2,367 - Follows: 2,429 - Updated: 6/11 - Published: 3/19/2010 - Azula, Zuko
The Second Great War by JSmith25 reviews
In the six years that the Autobots have been on Earth, humanity has enjoyed the most prosperous era in its history. With the Autobots, they had nothing to fear. With the Autobots, they were untouched, untroubled by anything the Universe could throw at them. But then came San Francisco. Then came the greatest threat they had ever faced. Then came the Kaiju.
Crossover - Transformers & Pacific Rim - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 11 - Words: 53,649 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 136 - Updated: 2/1 - Published: 3/24/2014
Reverse by Lady Moonglow reviews
Hermione is unexpectedly swept into a dystopian world of opposites where Dumbledore reigns as Dark Lord and Muggle technology and the Dark Arts have revolutionized Britain. A Light wizard resistance led by Tom Riddle and the Malfoys has been left to a nightmarish fate. Can Hermione, posing as her darker incarnation, help save a world more shattered than her own? HG/DM
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 45 - Words: 409,050 - Reviews: 3737 - Favs: 2,628 - Follows: 3,356 - Updated: 7/12/2015 - Published: 1/21/2008 - [Hermione G., Draco M.] Harry P., Tom R. Jr.
Aberration by Rin O' Gen reviews
The second she realized she was in the world of Naruto, Rae swore she wouldn't interfere. Even so, looking at the shivering 8-year-old before her, she couldn't help but hold him close. It's not like one friend will change anything, right? T for violence and some language.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 113,124 - Reviews: 2433 - Favs: 5,567 - Follows: 5,955 - Updated: 1/13/2015 - Published: 8/28/2010 - Naruto U., Kakashi H., OC
Secret of Frost and Moon by Alaia Skyhawk reviews
When death turns out not to be the end, you can't help but ask for what purpose you were brought back... What differences would it make, to remember your past right from the begining? To learn your purpose, piece by piece, right from the start? How would that change the life, future, and secrets of the Spirit of Winter; Jack Frost?
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 130 - Words: 499,493 - Reviews: 3302 - Favs: 1,804 - Follows: 1,217 - Updated: 11/2/2014 - Published: 12/23/2012 - Jack Frost - Complete
Burning Gold by DezoPenguin reviews
The thefts of the Phantom Gentleman, Roman Torchwick fill the papers of 1889 London. But when one of his crimes goes too far, he'll find that even the brightest gold can be unwanted when it burns for revenge! Set in the same steampunk AU as "Belladonna Lilies."
RWBY - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 16 - Words: 58,756 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 8/23/2014 - Published: 2/15/2014 - Ruby Rose, Yang Xiao Long, Roman Torchwick, Jaune Arc - Complete
Of Mary Sues and Mind Slavery by Kittenn1011 reviews
A dark force is working within Hogwarts in the form of a deluded teenage vampire. Now it's up to the most mismatched group in Hogwarts history to save it from Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. This is the real story of the legendarily bad fanfiction, My Immortal. (Warning for occasional crude language, semi-sexual situations, making light of self-harm, and Enoby's presence).
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 14 - Words: 21,577 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 8/17/2013 - Published: 4/29/2012 - Remus L., Severus S., Voldemort, OC
More Than Human by sbj reviews
There is no way I can make this sound original, ever. An attempt to write a believable RrB/PpG in high school fic. Rated M because teenagers use terrible language. "Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." - Camus
Powerpuff Girls - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 286,235 - Reviews: 1413 - Favs: 2,562 - Follows: 2,394 - Updated: 7/23/2013 - Published: 1/31/2009
Light and Dark The Adventures of Dark Yagami by D'arkYagam'i reviews
Light's twin brother Dark moves in with them! What secrets does he have? Has cusses and Sayu/Misa. EDIT: His other sister Night Yagami will come as well! Find her secrets too!
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Adventure - Chapters: 48 - Words: 57,150 - Reviews: 590 - Favs: 282 - Follows: 99 - Updated: 8/8/2012 - Published: 10/25/2008 - Sayu Y., Misa A. - Complete
The Fallout by OCDindeed reviews
March 16/06 the world the Cullens knew ended. Faith, hope & love are powerful things. Edward finds out how powerful they are when he loses the one person who made his life worth living. Not just an E/B story. Entire Cullen clan is here, each with their own hardships. Set during a post-apocalyptic nuclear war. Try the Prologue before passing judgment. You might be surprised! NM/AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 39 - Words: 325,178 - Reviews: 6683 - Favs: 4,443 - Follows: 3,215 - Updated: 3/24/2012 - Published: 3/24/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Property Of by hydraling110 reviews
During a Cybertronian 'peace,' ex-Cons decide to hide the sentience of and sell humans as pets to secure Earth. Sam and Mikaela might just be the first to grasp the reality of the situation alongside their new mech owner.
Transformers - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 27 - Words: 251,777 - Reviews: 1054 - Favs: 776 - Follows: 755 - Updated: 3/17/2012 - Published: 10/24/2009 - Sam W., Mikaela B.
Forever Hold Your Peace by Sarah1281 reviews
There's something to be said about timing and Nessie really wished she'd realized she was in love with Jacob more than a few weeks before he announced his engagement to someone else. She had two choices: ruin his happiness or grin and bear it. Blackwater.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 36,500 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 8/8/2011 - Published: 5/23/2011 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Leah - Complete
Staying Alive: A HowTo by The Starhorse reviews
Rule Number One: Don't ever, ever, EVER stab your commanding officer in the back. Rule Number Two: On the off chance that you ignore Rule Number One, you better run like hell. Far, far away.
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 17,699 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 533 - Follows: 50 - Published: 8/9/2009 - Sideswipe, Sunstreaker - Complete
Those Lacking Spines by Organization VI reviews
Immune to a suspicious parasite by merit of their manly looks, Xaldin, Vexen and Lexaeus set out on a journey to save the rest of Organization XIII from the biggest nightmare of all: stupid fanfiction.
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 13 - Words: 111,474 - Reviews: 1887 - Favs: 2,285 - Follows: 632 - Updated: 9/18/2008 - Published: 4/20/2006 - Xaldin, Vexen - Complete
Seeking Ginny by Casca reviews
For years Ginny Weasley has tried to stop her feelings for Harry Potter. She's even uprooted her life. But what happens when it's time to come face to face with him again?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 165,816 - Reviews: 1883 - Favs: 1,883 - Follows: 530 - Updated: 5/28/2008 - Published: 3/21/2003 - Ginny W., Harry P. - Complete
On a Path I Cannot Follow by DigitalTart reviews
Penelo's life following the end of FFXII, as told by her own pen. Larsa X Penelo.
Final Fantasy XII - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,747 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 3/8/2008 - Published: 2/29/2008 - Complete
The Eccentric Files by Ren and Missa reviews
When Ino met her dream boy, it was on a bus to New York, and it took her several hours to learn his name and stop calling him 'Pinapple Head'. Sakura, on the other hand, literally ran into hers and got cake all over his shirt. Nice.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 71,190 - Reviews: 1172 - Favs: 1,794 - Follows: 468 - Updated: 1/21/2008 - Published: 4/16/2007 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
Hi Roxas by iheartnumberthirteen reviews
this is about roxas in twilight town cuz i like roxas rr plz
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,023 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 11/12/2006 - Published: 10/8/2006 - Roxas, Axel