Poll: Should I continue The Life Story of Heaven the Wolf Vote Now!
Author has written 3 stories for Alpha and Omega.
Age/ 14 going to be 15 :D
Crazy status/ 900%
DEAL WITH IT!!!!!!!
IF LOVES WEIRD STORIES YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE >:)
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) ZEL :) IF CRAZY
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) ZEL :) COPY THIS
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) ZEL :) PIC OF
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) ZEL :) FACES
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) ZEL :) SORRY GIRLS
:) :) :) :) :) :) ZEL :) ONLY !!!!!
Character Profile for Six Of Us
Heaven: Curly but long Brown hair and Black (Dark Brown) eyes
Her name was Aurora
Her dad was a drunk
Her only friend was a little toy bear
She always talked to it
Until her parents unlock the door
A bruise on her leg
But she grabs her bear
She sits in the corner
Such a bad life
Then one night
Then her mom suddenly
She thrusted the blade
The mom walked out
Police showed up
One officer slowly
It must have been bad
If you hate child abuse, ot think it's wrong then repost this on your profile.
A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a slut, no one knows she was raped at 13.
People call another guy fat. No one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight.
People call an old man ugly. No one knew he had a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war.
Repost this if you are against bullying and stereotypes. I bet 98% of you wont.
AM I MORE TOMBOYISH OR GIRLY?
YOUR GUY SIDE:
You love hoodies.
YOUR GIRL SIDE:
You wear lip gloss/stick.
FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!'
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME"OR Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! We messed up! But it worked!"
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won’t tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."OR Keeps your stuff at their house because you practically live there anyway.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'it’s because your gay isn't it?'
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?" OR Start laughing because they are the one that tripped you.
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will already have the shovel, ready to bury the loser that made you cry.
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will "accidentally" dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this!!
For me, crazy is a loose term.
Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser.
Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on.
Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself.
Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do.
Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you draw Edward's face and hot bod all over your Advanced Placement United States History notes when you should be concentrating on the APUSH final the next day. Crazy is when you yell at fictional book characters for doing stupid things (cough, cough Edward leaving in New Moon) or deciding that you'll give a friend all of the answers for the homework for the rest of your life if he'll find you and Edward. Crazy is when you decide to hunt down fictional book characters and kill them for hurting other fictional book characters (I'm talking about Damon, but Edward applies here, too.) Crazy is when your mother has to pry Twilight and or New Moon from your fingertips and you start to sob. Crazy is when you are planning your revenge on people like Victoria and cough Jacob Black!cough. Crazy is when you just said something very serious then burst out laughing. Crazy is when you fantasize about murdering those that hurt any Cullen/Swan Characters. Crazy is when you repeatedly watch the Twilight movie trailers/movies repeatedly just to see your favourite character. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something(s) crazy you've done to the list!
If you know you have an unhealthy obsession with one or all of the Cullens, but you don't really care because even thought admitting you have a problem is the first step to healing, frankly, you don't want to heal, add this to you're profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this to your profile
If you have ever copy and pasted something to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile
If you are obsessed with fan fiction copy this into your profile
If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile
If they are right...copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this on your profile.
92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch/American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile
The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me coloured?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... REPOST IF YOU ARE AGAINST RACISM!
Girls Don't Realize these things
I'm sorry that I bought you roses to tell you that I like you
I'm sorry That I was raised with respect not to sleep with you when you were drunk
I'm sorry That my body's not ripped enough to "satisfy" your wants
I'm sorry that I open your car door, and pull out your chair like I was raised
I'm sorry That I'm not cute enough to be "your guy"
I'm sorry That I am actually nice; not a jerk
I'm sorry I don't have a huge bank account to buy you expensive things
I'm sorry I like to spend quality nights at home cuddling with you, instead of at a club
I'm sorry I would rather make love to you then just screw you like some random guy.
I'm sorry That I am always the one you need to talk to, but never good enough to date
I'm sorry That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car, but when we went out you went home with another guy
I'm sorry That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere, but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend
I'm sorry If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around
I'm sorry If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work
I'm sorry that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.
I'm sorry If you read this and know somebody like this but don't care
But most of all
I'm sorry For not being sorry anymore
I'm sorry That you can't accept me for who I am
I'm sorry I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good enough to make it in your world.
I'm sorry I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...
I'm sorry That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.
I'm sorry That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.
I'm Sorry That I cared
I'm sorry that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.
If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'
If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'
I WANT A GUY...
who would move the hair away from my eyes and then kiss me,
hold my hand in line at the mall and make all the girls jealous.
Someone who would sing to me at random moments.
Who would let me sleep on his chest.
A BOY who would get mad at someone if they called me UGLY or were mean to me.
I want someone who would call me 3 times a day if he went away.
Someone who would let me gossip to him
and just smile and agree with everything I said.
He would throw stuffed animals at me when I acted dumb and then
KISS ME A MILLION TIMES.
Someone who would make fun of me just to make me laugh.
He would take me to the park and
put his hands around my waist and
give me big bearhugs all the time.
He would tell all his friends about me and SMILE when he did.
And we'd make out in the pouring rain.
He would never be afraid to say "I love you" in front of his friends,
and we'd argue about silly things and then make up.
I want a boy who would kiss me at midnight on New Years
and COUNT STARS with me.
Who would stay home with me on a Friday night
just to help me make dinner and watch movies together under the same blanket.
Someone who would tell me I'm beauiful but not too often,
who would make me laugh like NO ONE else could.
But mostly, I want someone who would be my best friend and would never BREAK MY HEART
-Jg Rox's story I want
REASON'S WHY GIRLS RULE:
1.We got off the Titanic first
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark
Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.The boys dont want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree
When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.
When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.
When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.
When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.
When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.
When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered.
When a girl says "I love you." she means it.
When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.
Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.
The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.
The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".
Do it one by one, don't look ahead!
1. write the name of a person of the opposite sex.
2. which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, and green.
3. your first initial?
4. your month of birth?
5. which color do you like more, black or white?
6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
7. your favorite number?
8. do you like California of Florida more?
9. do you like the lake or ocean more?
10. Write down a wish (a realistic one.)
are you done?
If so, scroll down
1. You are completely in love with this person.
2. If you choose:
Red: You are alert and you life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: you are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the one you love.
Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.
3. If you're initial is:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and you love life is soon to blossom
S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
4. If You were born in:
Jan-Mar: The year will for very well for you and you will discover the you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
Apr-June: you will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever
July-Sept: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good.
Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.
5. If you choose...
Black: your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you and you will be glad for the change.
white: You will have a friend who completely confides in ykou and would do anything for you but you may not realize it.
6. This person is your best friend.
7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.
8. If you choose...
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laidback person.
9. If you choose...
Lake: You are loyal to you friends and you love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.
10. This wish will come true only if you Re-post this bulletin in one hours and it will come true before your next birthday!
Her mind is like lightning, one brilliant flash and then its gone. -- Unknown
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. But today is a gift, that is why it is called the present. -- Master Oogway From 'Kung-Fu Panda'
You just have to keep on breathing because tomorrow the sun will rise and who knows what the tide will bring. -- Chuck Noland From 'Cast Away'
Men are such babies. -- Anastasia From 'Anastasia'
House rule Sammy. Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake-hole. -- Dean From 'Supernatural'
I'll say it again. Demons I get. People are crazy. -- Dean From 'Supernatural'
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. -- William Congreve 'The Mourning Bride'
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and then they beat you with experience. -- Unknown
Hotch: Well, I wouldn't have kept kicking you, I was afraid you didn't get my plan. Reid: I got your plan the minute you moved the hostages out of my line of fire. Hotch: Well, I hope I didn't hurt you too badly. Reid: Hotch, I was a twelve-year-old child prodigy in a Las Vegas public high school. You kick like a nine-year-old girl. -- Hotch & Spencer From 'Criminal Minds'
Life's a bitch, because if it were a slut then it'd be easy. -- my friend Morticia
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the Devil says “Oh shit, she’s up!” -- Mary Angelou
When I was five years old, my Mom told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I wrote down 'happy'. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment and I told them they didn’t understand life. -- John Lennon
Don't K.C, I'm in the mood to go Reid Garwin yours and Landon's asses right now! -- my best friend Heaven
1. Niall Horan
2. Louis Tomlinson
3. Liam Payne
4. Zayn Malik
5. Harry Styles
6. Heaven (My BFFL)
7. Justin Bieber
8. Morticia (My Other BFFL)
9. Austin Mahone
10. Cody Simpson
1 woke you up in the middle of the night?
A boner babe?
Number 2 asked you to go out with him?
AW HELL’S TO THE YES!!!
Number 3 walked into the bathroom while you're showering?
HI LIAM. HOW ARE YOU?
4 announced she's going to marry 9 tomorrow?
Umm… That be a little weird, but OK
5 cooked you dinner?
Yummy eat it all!
6 was lying next to you on the beach, sleeping?
I would draw on her face.
7 suddenly confessed to be part of your family?
Justin would be an awesome brother. J
8 got into the hospital somehow?
WHAT THE HELL MO!!! It was the bed jumping wasn’t it.
9 made fun of your friends?
They don’t know who he is so I’d laugh
10 ignored you all the time?
He probably thinks I don’t like his hair.
Two serial killers are hunting you down. What will 1 do?
Kick there ass
You're on a vacation with number 2 and manage to break your leg. What does 2 do?
Runs around screaming for help.
It's your birthday. What will 3 give you?
A teddy bear.
You're stuck in a house that's on fire. What does 4 do?
Saves my ass!
You're about to do something that'll make you feel extremely embarrassed. What will 5 do?
After he’d kiss me and tell me it was cute.
You're about to marry number 10. What's 6's reaction?
She’s in tears. Of joy.
You got dumped by someone. How will 7 cheer you up?
Sing me “the Man who can’t Be Moved” by The Script.
You're angry about it afterwards, how does 8 calm you down?
Grabs her laptop and has me read five One Direction stories.
You compete in some tournament. How does 9 support you?
Screams WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO and breaks out some random dance move.
You can't stop laughing. What will 10 do?
Laugh with me.
Number 1 is all you've ever dreamed of. Why?
Uh HELLO IT’S NIALL FREAKING HORAN!!!
2 tells you about his deeply hidden love for number 9. Your reaction?
Scream LUSTIN! SO CUTE! And peck him on the cheek. :)
You're dating number 3 and introduce him to your parents. Will they get along?
Well let’s see he’s Liam Payne, kind, sweet, doesn’t drink, what do you think.
Number 4 loves number 9 as well. What does that mean?
That would never happen…right?
Will number 5 and 6 ever kiss?
Maybe... he would have to convince her though.
6 appears to be a player, he breaks many hearts. What do you do?
She’s Heaven. I would do nothing.
You had a haircut and 7 can't stop looking at you. What goes on in your mind?
Yup just try me I hit you.
Number 8 thinks he'll never get a girlfriend. What will you tell him?
First she’s a girl, second you’ve already had two you’ll have another. Trust me.
Number 9 gives you a bagel. Do you eat it?
Austin’s bagel… sure.
10 wants money and decides to get a job at Chuck E' Cheeses. How long does he stay?
1 offers you a CD. Considering her tastes, do you listen to it?
Niall…AW HELL YEAH!!!! :)
2 suddenly goes emo. How does 8 feel about this?
She could care less.
3 told 6 she started her period.
It would have to be the other way around and Liam would help the whole way through. :)
4 slaps 9 with a fish for going out with 7.
I would too.
5 Comes up to you wearing a big pink dress. What's your reaction?
Umm… Harry did you lose a bet? *He nods, I give him a peck on the cheek*
6 cusses 2 out in German. 3 is secretly watching from behind a bush. What does he do?
Slap Louis and yell back at Heaven in French.
7 got high.
HAHAHA. Now let’s bail you out of jail
8 reads your fanfictions and complains. What is it about?
How she is confused about something.
9 can't stand 1, so how does he get his revenge when he spills Soda all over her?
Mock his accent but would get slapped by Heaven. She’s a Horan lover. :)
10 starts working at a bar...
Cody would never work at a bar.
1 comes in and tells you she's pregnant from 2.
Number 3 decides to go swimming. Do you go with him?
4 and 7 compete on DDR. Who wins?
Zayn and his awesome dancing.
5 is having a birthday party and she picks a theme. What is it?
6 and 1 have a deep conversation. What is it most likely about?
Her deep love for him.
7 stalks 10 home. 9 sees this. What does he do?
Slaps Justin and drags him home by the ear.
8 buys a computer. What is the first thing he does on it?
Look up yaoi.
1,3,5,6 each want to kill 4. Why?
He’s hogging the mirror.
1 thinks 8 is gay. What’s 8's reaction?
“I’m a girl duh yeah I’m gay”
5 and 6 each get accepted into separate rival secret organizations bent on creating a hobo-powered death beam before the other does! WHAT HAPPENS!!
They quit and Harry starts flirting with her.
1 tries to kiss 2,3,4,5 and 6,they let her?
Yes but Heaven make’s out with him.
7 gets a bazooka and starts shooting at everyone, who will survive?
4 dies, how does 1 and 10 react to it?
MKFan jumped out of nowhere in the middle of the quiz, how does everyone react to it?
If 2 asked a random question to 10, what would 10 answer?
6 is stuck in a cave with a huge monster. There is a sword s/he can use to fight against it, but it's lying on the other side of a pit of tarantulas and 9's boogers. Does he make a reach for the sword, and can he fight back against the monster?
Aww HELL’S TOO THE YES!!
1, 6, and 7 go to muligans to play lazer tag. But 7 forgot to call 3 and 4 to tell them they were going. When they get back 7 finally realizes they forgot to call. What is 3 and 4's reaction when 1, 6, and 7 return?
They’d be pissed.
3 thinks 7 is MADLY in love with him.
6,8 and 4 are all eating cake. Who poisioned it?
Someone passes out fortune cookies. 2 gets one that says 'The person next to you is evil'. What does 2 do to number 5, who is right next to them?
Takes out a carrot and hits Harry over the head.
The Nargles are attacking 7 and 8. What does 3 do?
Fight back 20 times harder.
What would you do if 9 suddenly paid you a visit?
Hug him and let him in.
What subject would 1 teach if she were a teacher/professor? Would she be good at it?
4 is walking home when she sees a cute fluffy creature, which promptly begins rubbing itself against her legs. Will she kick it away, or take it home?
Take it home.
If you had the chance to rewrite 1's life, how would you change it?
Keep it the same but make ME his best friend.
3 has to marry either 8, 4 or 9. Who do they chose?
Morticia. She’s the only girl.
7 challenges 1 to a staring contest, why? And who wins?
Niall because I’m messing Justin’s hair up.
If you had to pick a video game character to pair up with 4, who would you choose?
5 and 9 get roaring drunk and end up at your house. What happens?
I wake up hung over with Harry and Austin next to me with no shirt and I fully clothed.
9 and 2 are depressed, why?
Liam took Lou’s carrot and Austin’s guitar
4, 6, and 7 are doing the Hokey-Pokey. 8 walks in. What happens?
She joins them. XD!!!
Think 8 could be a super model?
They all get involved into an epic brawl (not the video game), and only one of them survives, who won?
Heaven. Hands down.
They all get involved in an epic Brawl (the video game), who wins?
Morticia. Simple question.
One of them falls in love with you, which one?
GENDER SWAP! What happens?
JESUS CHRIST, IT'S A LION!!
3 is driving down a lonely road with 1 in the back seat. The car breaks down, and they ask to stay at a roadside house. What happens?
Imagine 2 has a bride, and a baby is born. 3 is asked to babysit. What happens?
If x = 73 then what must X equal? Furthermore, what is the point of this question?
X =JustinLiam. Then X = Jiam. DUH!!!
Who would make a better college professor, 6 or 1?
1 gets a paper cut. What is the immediate reaction?
5, 3, 2, and 8 are waiting for the bus. Write the conversation they have until the bus arrives.
Harry: Liam got any money?
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . "Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping it all over his lap.
When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him by never even bothering to practice.
When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back.
When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.
When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.
When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.
When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.
When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.
When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him by taking it every chance you could.
When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him by being on the phone all night.
When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn.
When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.
When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you how deeply he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the country.
When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children.
And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on your heart.
If you love your dad, post this on your profile!
female come backs pick up line comebacks, add to it
Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
Man: Your eyes they're amazing. Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.
If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost this... If you don't resend this then your love life will be doomed for eternity.
GIRLS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"
PLEASE READ. If this doesn't touch you... I cried!
I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.
The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.
The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."
His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't
forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''
"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for
the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"
Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that
mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''
"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
"My mommy loves white roses."
A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister
is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices:
1) Repost this message.
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart
If you hate stereotypes and wish that people would just shut up and suck a fat one, paste this into your profle. The ones in bold apply to me.
I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO so i MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so i MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE so i MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs
I'm ATHEIST so i MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big DICK.
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!
I'm PRETTY so i MUST not be a virgin
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS so I MUST look for attention
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.
I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so i MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.(Don't want one Don't need one)
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in a BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich.
I'm an OG so I must be Mexican.
I like ANIME so I MUST be a geek with no social life
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
93 percent of teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, Battleground Heart, Kaity the Chameleon, xX-Arianna-hime-Xx,Seppaku, Amanemanga, Rethira, -Purple Smile-, Atra Luminarium, Reine Sumabat, DragonFriend95, Links Only Grl, Ondkids, Kangarooney, JustaBunchaHOOPLA, WriterAtHeart2, Skkral, BlackMystery99, ZelLoves1D
A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer then planned, and had to walk home alone. She hasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he was waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped around her, she felt though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley way just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recogize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she can identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man have been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they can do for her. She asked if they can ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking either side of her." Amazingly, wheather you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won't repost it?
Repost this if you truly believe in God.
PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what, and if you stand up for him he will stand up for you.
Scary-a.. thing.. This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted," Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiilling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Lucillia
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, Paper Hearts and Paper Cuts, Vampiregal22,Edward-Lover1, SPOONS Secret Agent Alice,Mrs.EdwardAMCullen,Isabell the Looser, -only-real-men-sparkle- , xxSizzlingBabexx, TAYLORandTOBYfreak88, Spontaneous.Combustion99, ZelLoves1D
I know that there are more shipings and shippings out there but my puzzler is sore and had given up on me.
Also, if you feel stronly one way or the other about any of my favoured pairing, feel free to drop a line so I can discuss (argue) with you.
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three days, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bare.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom apartment for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even vist the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when the found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I feel I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid to tell his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
REPOST THIS IF YOU BELIEVE HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG!!
Try Not To Cry
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
Please tell the doctors, I know they did try.
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I saw the bright light, I ran as fast as I could
Please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost
Please if you would, Don't smash this on the ground.
If you pass this on,
Maybe people will cry,
Just keep this in your heart,
For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".
Now you have 2 choices,
1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as "Try Not To Cry"
2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how cold-hearted you really are...
A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love.
If you like Tails the Fox (Kitsune)copy this:
Me: I don't get it. BlackMystery99: Get what? M: How were friends. B: What do you mean? M: I'm Evil your Good what the hell. B: Were polar oppisites which makes us hang out and enjoy each others company and not rip each others throuts out. M: Huh? B: Ying and Yang. M: OOOHH, Pie. B: Oh dear.
IF YOU MADE IT ALL THE WAY TO THE END.. YOU HAVE NO LIFE!! JK!!