Author has written 2 stories for Twilight.
Hello everyone , I'm 19 years old twilight girl .I love Edward Cullen so, so much.
English is not my first language so please be easy on me.
Here is some twilight funny jocks:
You have to love a guy that would piss off the Volturi just for you*
thanks Stephanie. now I’ll never find a man.*
Bella raped me today on Esme Isle. I’m scared!
Do vampires take showers, I’m seriously wondering?*
Girls obsess over Edward too– OMEC ITS A FREAKING VOLVO!!!*
Emmett stood across the Volvo from Edward and screamed DAM IT EDWARD STOP DAZZELING ME!!!!*
Edward Cullen knows all your inside jokes.*
Jasper Hale will never be a therapist. He already knows how that makes you feel.*
The only bad thing about Edward Cullen is that there is only one! lol*
Rosalie Hale was told to find something just as or more beautiful then herself. She came back with a mirror!*
How do you irritate Edward Cullen?
-What's the alternative title for the Twilight movie?
I keep wanting to steal Jasper
thanks to twilight if a certain boy ignores me ,it's only because he's a vampire & he's polite enough to try & resist my blood.*
10 reasons to love Edward
1. He's HOT
2. He's sweet
3. He has manners
4. He's a vampire!! (I LUV VAMPS)
5. He's good
6. He's responsible
7. He's un selfish in other words selfless
8. He would make the perfect boyfriend
9. He knows how to treat woman like ladies and not like toys
10. He has great taste in jewelry and cars... DID I MENTION HE"S HOT!!:D
Bella: Do I ever cross your mind?
Bella: Do you like me?
Bella: Do you want me?
Bella: Would you cry if I left?
Bella: Would you live for me?
Bella: Would you do anything for me?
Bella: Choose--me or your life
Edward: My life
Bella runs away in shock and pain and Edward runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
Carlisle Cullen saving lives since 1640
Jasper Whitlock the best fighter since 1861
Esme Evenson caring since 1895
Edward Anthony Masen being sexy since 1901
Marry Alice Brandon cute since 1901
Rosalie Lillian Hale hotter than you since 1915
Emmett Paul McCarty stronger than you since 1935
Things Bella Would Never Say
Edward, drive faster!
Next on my list: Carlisle and Emmett!
Edward, I used you to get Jacob
Things Edward Would Never Say
Gosh, Bella, stop blushing so much.
Sure, of course I'll join the Volturi, Aro!!
Bella, I'm going to kill you now.
Bella, can you go stay at La Push for a while? You're kind of suffocating me.
Bella! That is definitely not your color!
1. You keep re-reading the series, even though you know pretty much every line.
2. You never put down the books when you read them the first time.
3. You were counting down the days until breaking dawn came out.
4. You can’t help but smile whenever you think of Edward.
5. The name Edward is no longer dumb and weird to you.
6. Whenever someone says, “Hey, you want to go shopping?” you automatically think of Alice.
7. You want to move to Forks, Seattle, Phoenix, or Port Angeles.
8. When you see someone barely starting the series, you want to punch them for not reading it sooner.( even though you don't punch)
9. When you see someone reading Twilight, you go over to them and say how much you like it, to which they give you a weird look and walk away.
10. You cried during some parts of the books, and laughed at others.
11. The name Victoria sends chills down your spine. (shudder)
12. Twilight is your favorite time of day
13. You have imagined yourself as one of the Cullens and or characters in the book
14.You have had pretend conversations with one of the book characters in your mind.
15. After you read the book, apples became your favorite fruit.
1 6.You wish you were a vampire.
17. You squealed with joy when Edward and Bella reunited in New moon.
18. Your friends get scared around you when you start to talk about Twilight.
19. When your friends bring up Twilight, they smack their heads because they know you're going to go on a never ending rant
20. you go on a never ending rant when someone brings up twilight
21. When you see someone wearing glitter you think of vampires
22. You wished your name was Bella and have yelled at your parents about it
23. Instead of asking yourself questions like, “I wonder why we as humans are alive?” you ask, “I wonder what will happen in Breaking Dawn”
24.You hate the name Jacob with a passion.
25. Black is now your least favorite color. (Sorry Jacob fans)
26.Your teachers at school ask you why your reading log mostly consists of the Twilight series.
27. You dress up like a Cullen on Halloween and people ask you why you’re not wearing a costume but a lot of glitter and expensive brand clothes borrowed from your friends.
28. You read fan fictions about Twilight online and it’s the only website you’re on anymore.
29. You’ve written Cullen as your last name
30. When you went to an Italian restaurant, you ordered the mushroom ravioli.
31. You listen to your heartbeat more often
32. You look at your doctor and think, “Carlisle’s better”
33. Topaz is your favorite gemstone.
34. You wish you were born if November so topaz would be your birthstone
35. You wish your birthday was also June 20th, like Edward’s
36. Your parents have grounded you from the books until you get breaking dawn.
37. Mountain lions are your favorite animal
38. You’ve tried to read peoples mind, see the future, change people’s emotions, or make them be in excruciating pain.
39. You cried during New Moon, more than you've cried ever before in a book.
40. You get very mad and gasp when people say they have never heard of Twilight.
41. You jump every time you hear "Edward" or "Bella"
42. You can't focus on your work/homework because you could be reading one of the books again.
43. You name your pet/computer/car after one of the Twilight characters
44. you relate everything in life to Bella and Edward and anything else that goes on in the books.
45. You began to look after men/women that have pale skin, dark eyes and are absolutely gorgeous.
46. You want to go cliff diving because Bella did it.
47. You want to ride motorcycles, just because Bella did.
48. You read your books while you eat, or you just don't eat at all.
49. When you fall over or nearly get hit by a big van you call it a Bella moment.
50. You fall over allot and almost get hit by big vans.
51. You sleep with your books in your bed at night.
52. You've memorized every page number in all three books and know the content of each.
53. You start a Twilight-themed website.
54. You and your friends make Twilight tees that say "I'd rather die than be with Mike Newton" and wear them to school on the same day.
55. Instead of shouting "I HAVE TO PEE!" you say "I need a human minute."
56. You hate gym only because Bella does, too.
57. Every time someone speaks of one named Edward, you jump on their back.
58. You refuse to eat human food, because the Cullens don't.
59. You think in Fanfic.
60. Every sentence you say begins with "Twilight".
61.You would name your kid Carlisle in a heartbeat.
62. If someone is cold/warm when you touch them, you scream "YOU'RE A WEREWOLF/ VAMPIRE! And THEN jump on them.
63. You call your English/Science/Trig teachers their respective Twilight characters (i.e., Mr. Berty, Mr. Banner, Mr. Varner, Coach Clapp)
64. You become a vegetarian, because you are just halfway there to "vegetarian vampire."
65. You refuse a date with the most popular guy in school because he's not "your Edward."
66. You have answered "duh," "yes," or "Omg YEAH" to all or any of these questions.
67. You give complements/insults in the following format: "You know what, you are such a insert name of character here.
68. If someone mentions they haven't read the series, gasp, you start yelling at them until they do.
69. You demand that your parents take you to Forks over spring break/summer vacation, etc.
70.On a sunny day, you're depressed because you know you won't see any vampires.
71. You're reading this list for this long.
╔══╦══╦══╗ You have been Pinned
Don't Like My "Twilight" Obsession?
Edward vs. Normal guys
Normal Guy would say: “I think I am falling for you.”
Normal Guy would say:“You hair looks like a haystack; go brush it!”
A normal guy: would pick a random song from a random artist and dedicate it to you.
If you die: a normal guy would find another.
“Well, I wasn’t going to live without you..” He rolled his eyes as if that fact were childishly obvious...but I wasn’t sure how to do it. I knew Emmett and Jasper would never help so I was thinking maybe I would go to Italy and do something to provoke the Volturi.”
As you leave the house, a normal guy would say: “Bye, see ya!”
He smiled my favorite smile. “Hurry back to me.”
As you come back to the house: a normal guy would be watching TV and wouldn’t even notice.
“I heard the music before I was out of the car. Edward hadn’t touched his piano since the night Alice left. Now, as I shut the door, I heard the song morph through a bridge and change into my lullaby. Edward was welcoming me home."
A normal guy: would wait for you to make him breakfast.
While you are both out for dinner: a normal guy wouldn’t keep his eyes off the sexy waitress.
A normal guy: while driving, would keep one hand on the wheel and one hand on the radio.
While far apart in different places, a normal guy would say: “I miss you.”
A normal guy: wouldn’t care or notice if you had nightmares.
A normal guy: does it with everyone.
The twilight Oath
I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
I promise to remember Edward
Each time I'm out of town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlie's sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Carlisle
Whenever I am in the emergency room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Every time there is a big boom
I promise to remember Rosalie
Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
Every time I'm at the mall and a cute outfit spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
Whenever I see beautiful bronze hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me that they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my stomach isn't curled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes, I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my true obsession
Because I know what Twilighters know
A girl and a boy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down I' scared!
Guy: No, this is fun
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you. Now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug.
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself. It's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building due to break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that half way down the road, the guy knew his break wasn't working, but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her give him a big hug and tell him one last time she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live even if he died. Now that is a true man. One that would give his life, for the woman he truly loves.
Copy and Paste if you are, or are looking for a guy like that.
And here is my fav. twilight quotes:
-When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it’s not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end.
Bella Swan, Twilight, Preface, p.1
Sometimes I wondered if I was seeing the same things through my eyes that the rest of the world was seeing through theirs. Maybe there was a glitch in my brain.
Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 1, p.11
If I was being honest with myself, I knew I was eager to get to school because I would see Edward Cullen. And that was very, very stupid.
Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 3, p.54
I was consumed by the mystery Edward presented. And more than a little obsessed by Edward himself.
Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 3, p.67
That was the first night I dreamed of Edward Cullen.
Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 3, p.67
Stupid, shiny Volvo owner.
Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 4, p.83
What if I’m not a superhero? What if I’m the bad guy?
Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 5, p.92
You scared me for a minute there. I thought Newton was dragging your dead body off to bury it in the woods.
Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 5, p.99
My mom always says I was born thirty-five years old and that I get more middle-aged every year.
Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 5, p.106
It was amazing how instantaneously the choking fear vanished, amazing how suddenly the feeling of security washed over me — even before I was off the street — as soon as I heard his voice.
Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 8, p.162
I stared at his face in profound relief, relief that went beyond my sudden deliverance.
Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 8, p.162
Do I dazzle you?
Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 8, p.168
I feel very safe with you.
Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 8, p.170
Did you ever think that maybe my number was up the first time, with the van, and that you’ve been interfering with fate?
Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 8, p.174
Your number was up the first time I met you.
Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 8, p.175
I hear voices in my mind and you’re worried that you’re the freak.
Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 9, p.181
And you accused me of dazzling people — poor Jacob Black.
Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 9, p.184
I don’t want to be a monster.
Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 9, p.187
About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was part of him — and I didn’t know how potent that part might be — that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.
Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 9, p.195
The vampire who wanted to be good — who ran around saving people’s lives so he wouldn’t be a monster…
Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 10, p.204
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