Poll: what should the genders be of the babies in change of heart? Vote Now!
Author has written 1 story for Twilight.
girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love
Apple Tree By L'espoire
Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree
I promise to remember Bella Each time I carelessly fall down, And I promise to remember Edward Whenever I'm out of town, I promise to obey traffic laws For Charlies sake of course, And I promise to remember Jacob When my heart fills with remorse, I promise to remember Carlisle When I am in the emergency room, And I promise to remember Emmett When there's a huge boom, I promise to to remember Rosalie Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty, And I promise to remember Alice When I'm at a mall picking out clothes, I promise to remember Nessie When I see that bronze hair, And I promise to remember Esme When someone tells me they care, I promise to remember Jasper Whenever my stomach isn't curled, And I promise to remember the Volturi When someone speaks of dominating the world Yes, I promise to love Twilight Wherever I may go So that all may see my obsession Because I know what the Twilighters know
╔══╦══╦══╗ You have been diagnosed
-If you haven't died yet, copy this onto your profile.
-If you read New Moon and wanted to punch Jacob Black, copy this into your profile.
-If you cry every time you read New Moon, copy this into your profile.
-If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, Jasper or Emmett from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.
Sonars: Round and round the record spins all day. Listen again - it' takes you far away. Trying to stop - it's futile. So you listen now to my musical doodle! Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo! Listen again to the musical doodle!. Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo! Doo-doo-doo-doo. Muisical Doodle! Trying to control it is way too hard. Every time you play it its an electric charge. Trying to stop - it's futile. So you listen now to my musical doodle! Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo! Listen again to the musical doodle! The song that you ran from is back again! You wonder if the madness will ever end. Trying to stop- it is futile so just listen again to my musical doodle Doo (9x).
"You don't have to suffer to be a poet. Adolescence is enough suffering for anyone." - John Ciardi
I'm the kind of girl who laughs at horror movies. I'm the kind of girl who obsesses over everything. I'm the kind of girl who sits in her room writing poetry then crumples it up and throws it away. I'm the kind of girl who wishes to be different, but at the same time, the same. I'm the kind of girl who makes no sense, but you just smile and nod because thats just me.
Sometimes sticking up for yourself is hard, especially when it's against someone you used to care about.
Courage is not the absence of fear, but overcoming it.
I've been writing storys since i was 6 they started out bad but now at school i got people walking up and taking notebooks off my desk to read my storys so i started fanfiction.net please read my storys and i hope you like it. HERE IS MORE INFO ABOUT ME
Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face. "A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking." "At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote." Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left. "To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target." An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit! (OMC! Carlisle!) When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it. I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and she got away. I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless. Isn't it funny that the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'? When you get caught looking at him, just remember he was looking back.The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy. I used to care, but I take a pill for that now. Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them so much. Of course it's in the last place you look for it. Why in heck would you keep looking for it if you already found it. Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night." The problem with political jokes is that very often they get elected. Before you critisize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over. You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide. There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count. I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3? I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. -Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS "Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. - The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. - When there's a will, I want to be in it. "It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt-then it's hilarious!" Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile! Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?" There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE that it's weird. If you agree but you've done this, too, copy this and put it in your profile. If you kinda think mosquitoes are a little bit cooler now because they suck blood (which makes them kinda like a vampire) copy this into your profile I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do... Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile. If you think Fred should just let Barney have the darn Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile. If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, copy this into your profile! If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile. "I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile! If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. If they are right... copy and paste this into your profile. If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile. My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile. If you're one of those people who gets excited when you see just two reviews, copy and paste this into your profile.
hey my names mackenzie but friends call me silverfate. um im 14 what else hmm i dont like banannas im not a people person in fact most likely if i ever met u i would most likely punch u ,kick u ,bite u, slap u , and most likely u will go home hurt. but i warned u so hands off, umm my favorite colors are black violet grey red and blue. hmmm most people see me as the loner type cause i only have a few importain close friends. my best friends name is faith but most people call her phantom. umm what else lets see my favorite tv shows are degrassi, victorious,viva la bam, pranked, parental control, what i like about u, and well lots others. favorite movies hmmm i would say twilight series, the old halloweens, all the jackass's,the notebook, the last song, all the texas chainsaw masscres, little ashes,romeo and juliett, and much more. and no for books i must warn u im a book worm obsessed with reading. plus im into classics and vampires and supernatuals i also like biographys.
when i wear pink i feel negative! bite me bitch!
bestfriends danielle aka danny, jeremiah aka jere, mya aka Ren, eric, and davey.
intrerested in hot guys
hobbies reading writing playig piano and guitar singing dancing listening to music watching twilight
favorite colors black violet grey
favorite animals dogs ferrets polar bears (but scared of grizzy bears) and i love kittens
not a people person infact i hate people!
my modo love me hate me im still gonna shine!
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
Put this on your profile if you hate stereotypes too! put this on your profile
Girl: Talk to her.
Boy: I don't know. She won't ever like me.
Girl: Of course she will. Your amazing.
Boy:I just want her to know how I feel.
Girl: Then tell her.
Boy: She won't like me...
Girl: How do you know that?
Boy: I can just tell.
Girl: Well, just tell her.
Boy: What should I say?
Girl: Tell her how much you like her!
Boy: I tell her that daily.
Girl: What do you mean?
Boy: I'm always with her. I love her.
Girl: I know how you feel. I have the same problem. But he'll never like me...
Boy: Wait. Who do you like?
Girl: Oh. Some boy.
Boy: She won't like me either.
Girl: She does.
Boy: How do you know?
Girl: Because who wouldn't like you?
Girl: Your right, I don't like you. I love you.
Boy: I love you,too.
Girl: So, are you going to talk to her?
Boy: I just did.
Wasn't that cute?
I do not do drugs. I do sugar. If you're someone who does sugar, copy this into your profile
You say Pink
I say thank you!
I am only 8 inches long
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
This is proof that I am a softie, this made me cry!
If you are against child abuse, post this in your profile...
My name is May
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake
I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is May
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!
If you care at all about this poor child, paste it onto your profile, before it's too late..
you cant knock down these walls of trust
though these four walls are colliding around us
as you stare at me with those beading eyes
i'm not afaid to think this is our one last goodbye
A True Boyfriend:
When she walks away from you mad
I support the gays 110 and I can't stand people who are homophobic
I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the girl who loves her best friend but is afriad to let her know it.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the mother who shielded her daughter from all the htu when she confesed to her father and I that she was lesbian.
I am the woman who died when the EMT s stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
I am the high school student too confused by other people to know my own heart.
--IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG... REPOST THIS—
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech
Favorite Guys From VA (in order):
Do you collect the souls you've lost
In the top of your dresser drawer
Count the number of tears displaced
On lonely bedroom floors
Some ppl are not smart like that.
Guy's point of view
This is very cute! And even written by a guy!
You might agree with it, but when it actually happens 99 of girls don't
From a guys point of view:
We don't care if you talk to other guys.
We don't care if you're friends with other guys.
But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room
It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without
We don't care if a guy calls you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a
Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. that it can't wait till he morning.
Also, when we tell you you're pretty/beautiful/gorgeous/cute/ stunning, we
Don't tell us we're wrong.We'll stop trying to convince you.
The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.
Yeah, you can quote me.
Don't be mad when we hold the door open.
Take Advantage of the mood I'm in.
LET US PAY FOR YOU! DON'T 'FEEL BAD'
We enjoy doing it.
Smile and say 'thank you.'
Kiss us when no one's watching.
If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.
You don't have to get dressed up for us.
If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the
We like you for WHO you are and not WHAT you are.
Honestly, I think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's
Don't take everything we say seriously.
Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.
Don't get angry easily.
Stop using magazines/media as your bible.
Don't talk about how hot Morris Chesnutt, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is
Whatever happened to the word 'handsome'/'beautiful'.
I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with 'Hey handsome!'
On the other hand I'm not saying I wouldn't like it either.
Girls: I cannot stress this enough: IF YOU AREN'T BEING TREATED RIGHT BY A
Someone who will honor your morals.
Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.
Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.
Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.
Someone who will stop what they're doing just to look you in the eyes...and
Give the nice guys a chance
Holding Hands- Girls : If you want to hold his hand, gently bump into it a
Cuddling- Girls : When you want to cuddle with him, tell him you're cold.
Movies- Girls : During a movie, if he puts his arm around you, tilt your
Loving each other- Guys : When she tells you she loves you, look deep into
Laying below the stars- Girls : When you're both laying under the stars,
guys: no grabbing!
Stop!! Stop!! Stop!! Stop!!
If you haven't stopped seriously stop!
Guys repost this if you agree.
Girls repost this if you think it's cute.
Every Guy who isn't a jerk will agree with this, so we hope that all the
For me, crazy is a loose term.Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/comfessions of love/any other Twilght related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you go to the most expensive store within fifty miles of your home, try on almost every peice of clothing, then walk out with nothing, saying none of it was your style. Crazy is when you break a bone and laugh. Crazy is when your evil, malicious best friend/cousin comes to visit for two weeks from across the country and gets you completely and utterly obsessed and addicted to a totally awesome book about vampires that you never thought you would like! Crazy is when on career day I said I was going to move to move to Greece the day I graduate and live on a beach writing stories on the back of paper bags and my best friend asked if she could come too. Crazy is when you go around to random people saying 'fish can't act' because your friend owns a fish named hoover, who you swear is a vampire because he tries to make it look like he's breathing, really badly. Stand up in the middle of History and proclaim 'O, how fertile the young mind is' to the utter amusement of your teacher and bewilderment of your peers who don't know what fertile means.Crazy is when you use up half the beach to write the words Love, Friendship, Wish, Hope, Peace and Smile in huge letters in the sand, with a matching picture for each word and give dirty looks at randoms who walk through them. Crazy is when someone asks you a question about a Tortall character and you describe them and their lives in great detail, including their entire wardrobe and diet, then someone asks you what you had for breakfast and you stare blankly at them not having any idea. Crazy is when you wait till it starts raining to go to the pool and water park. Crazy is when you hide under a blanket because its to hot. Crazy is when you read a push sign then continue to look for the handle to pull for ten minutes. Crazy is when you read the pull sign again and again while trying to push the door open just to back up and run into the door as hard as you can. Crazy is sneaking out, driving three hours into town while you're on a camping trip just to go to a release party at a book store and trying to sneak back into camp an hour before sunrise with a stack of books clutched to your chest. Crazy is when people say you have multiple personalities that talk to each other and your mother can tell them apart. Crazy is when you are grounded for reading too much. Crazy is when all you want for Christmas are Itunes gift cards and Barnes & Noble/ Borders gift cards. Crazy is when people actually tell you that you are. Crazy is when you are talking to yourself as if you're talking to some Twilight or any other imaginary characters, in front of your parents. Crazy is when you open your window and yell "I'm going out with Edward Cullen!". Crazy is when you start answering some questions with quotes from a book you love. Crazy is when you eat plastic instead of meat and not know it. Crazy is when you are falling in front of your crush, then get up and say: "Hey, look what I just did. Cool, heh?".
If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!
Some ppl are not smart like that.
[Chorus - Hayley Williams]
[Verse 1 - B.o.B]
[Chorus - Hayley Williams]
[Verse 2 - B.o.B]
souls of monsters charecters
Pick the month you were born on...
1(Jan) - I shot
Pick the day (number) you were born on...
01 - a rock star
Pick the color of shirt you are wearing...
White - because I'm sexy like that
I RAN FULLY CLOTHED MY BOYFRIEND BECAUSE THAT BUM STOLE MY TACO!!
Read this if you wanna smile!!
14 things to do in a shopping center!!
01. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's trolleys when they aren't looking.
02. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals
03. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies toilet.
04. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: Code 3 in Housewares... and see what happens.
05. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on credit.
06. Move a 'CAUTION -WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
07. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department and tell other shoppers you are sleeping over and invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding Department.
08. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
09. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
10. While handling large knives in the Kitchen Dept, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are located.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible.
12. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people browse through, say: "PICK ME!! PICK ME!!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and assume the fetal position and scream "NO! ...It's those voices again!!"
And last but not least:
14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while... then yell loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here." hehe:)
Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
Getting older is mandatory but growing up is optional."
"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance?"
" There is a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot."
"Don't regret doing things, regret getting caught."
17 Things to do in WallMart
Stand by the automatic doors and when someone walks through, say, OMG, You Have The Force Too?
Go into electronics and start talking to the appliances, say very loudly, NO FRANK, I haven't told them the truth yet. THEY DONT KNOW I AM A ROBOT!!
Lie down, completely blocking off a isle, and pretend to be sleeping.
Run around suspiciously humming the 007 theme song.
When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, roll on the floor yelling, ITS THE VOISES AGAIN. MAKE THEM STOP!!
Run through the crowds sing if your happy and you know it clap your hands!
When they don't clap their hands, tell them that they are never too old for therapy.
Crawl on the floor humming the jaws theme song.
When somebody ask why you are crawling on the floor, tell them you lost a contact lens.
In the middle of a crowded area start yelling into the microphone on your phone," PUT THE BALL INTO THE HOLE, HOW HARD IS IT? JUST GRIP THE STICK TIGHTLY, AND GUIDE THE BALL IN, I DONT FREAKIN CARE HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE WATCHING, JUST DO IT!! YOU'VE BEEN WAITING TO YOUR WHOLE LIFE, DONT BLOW YOUR CHANCE NOW!!" Then look around and yell," IT'S THEY'RE FIRST TIME PLAYING MINIGOLF YOU PERVES!!
Go up to random people and hold their hand and say I SEE DEAD PEOPLE...
Go up to random people and say, OMG i haven't seen you in so long!- see if they play along.
Say i love you to someone, and then run away
Go up to some one and drop all of you stuff. If they help you pick it up again, drop it again. -repeat until store closes
Go up to customer services and ask where they keep diet water.
Go up to a random person and say, Do you know the muffin man?
TEN THINGS TO ANNOY AND CONFUSE OLD PEOPLE! I LICK PICKLES:)
1. MAKE ALLIEN NOISES AND SAY HEAR THAT ITS THE MOTHER SHIP !
2. RUN UP TO THEM GRAB THEIR CAIN AND RUN OFF SAYIN U.S.A
3. SAY THEY SPELL LIKE PINEAPPLE
4. SAY VERY LOUDLY IN A CROUD OF OLD PEOPLE IT SMELLS LIKE DEATH!
5. ASK IF YOU CAN HAVE A RIDE IN THEIR WHEELCHAIR AND IF THEY SAY NO CALL THEM A STUPID HYPIE AND SCREAM AND KICK YOUR LEGS WHILE LAYIN ON THE FLOOR!
6. IF ITS A OLD MAN YELLL SANTA AND IF HE SAYS I LOOK NOTHING LIKE SANTA SAY I NO ! A RUN OFF SAYIN HE MURDERED MY RAINDEER!
7. PUT PANTIEHOES OVER YOUR HEAD TAKE A BASEBALL BAT IN A BANK WHERE THERE IS A OLD PERSON AND SAY GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY A COP COMES IN TO ARREST U THROW THE BAT AT THE OLD PERSON AND RUN OF!
8. TOYLETT PAPER THERE HOUSE
9. RECAMEND THEM TO START READING BOOKS ABOUT WEIGHTLOSS
10. WHEN THEY TRY TO TALK MAKE A BEEP NOISE TILL THEY SHUT UP!
I love him,
Love is a stalker, it just never leaves you alone.
I was sad when i found out that you were taken...
They say kissing is the language of love, "Care to indulge in a little convo?"
Men make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
I didn't fall for you... You tripped me.
We have a communication problem and I don't wanna talk about it.
Its hard to pretend you love someone when you dont but its even harder to pretend you dont love someone when you really do
I just want one guy to come up and say to me "sorry my whole entire gender sucks"
He broke my heart...So I broke his JAW!!
I wish they sold hearts at walmart. I would buy them in bulk so when one gets broken I can shug it off and say it's ok I got more... then I would never feel this pain again.
"Guys are like babies, you never really know exactly what they want, but we can make a pretty good guess."
Pass the liquor.. the boy is still ugly!
he Said "i love you" and i sneezed and said "ohh sorry;; But im Alergic to :.B.u.l.l.s.h.i.t.
Every time i walk pass you my words jummble into something stupid ...so i come out with somthing like...i like your phone...it's very small..(ackward silence)
I have skittles in my mouth... wanna taste the rainbow?
.heres to the guys that have us.the losers that lost us.& the lucky b-astards that will meet us.
My favorite things from 105 rules and facts Alice must follow and understand:
-You should not stare at Carlisle while he watches porn, it makes him uncomfortable
-You must not try to count all of Jasper's battle scars
--It makes him feel emo and self conscious
-Emmett is not a ballerina
-Mike Newton is not a sex toy
Rules of Life:
-All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
-Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
-Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
-Boys are like slinkies, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
-Why is it that people are fine with everyone having a different job or going to a different school, but if you say you follow a different religion, you are weird?
-There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Coffee in the morning, friends in the afternoon, and a good book for the rest of the day.
-Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.
-I'm going to live forever, or die trying.
-If I had something good to say, I would have already said it.
-Employee of the month is a good example of how someone can be both a winner and a looser at the same time.
-Never knock on Death's door-ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that.
-Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
-If you get a low enough SAT score, you should be able to park in the handicap space.
-Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening.
-I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.
-Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
-When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
-Education is important; school however, is another matter.
-Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.
-You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder!
-Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.
-They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.
-I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Forget scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you Butthead!
-That, my children, is called a wall. But beware the wall is solid. Yes be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Believe me children, for I have attempted this many times before.
-You know how men can pee on a wall? So can women. we just have to knock it over, but we can!
-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
-Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.
-The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
-I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.
-If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.
-Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?
-Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?
-There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.
-Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.
-High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.
-It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.
-People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.
-I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
-I do not deny everything.
-Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go the store for a quart of milk.
-The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it is unfamiliar territory.
-Always proofread to make you sure you don’t any words out.
-Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.
-One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
-Love me or hate me, personally I could care less
-Unless you've lived my life, don't judge me because you don't know, never have & never will know every little thing & detail about me
-You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
-When you get caught looking at him, remember he was looking back.
-Girls are like phones, we love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
-I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago : )
-Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us
-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.
Love vs. Sex
A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit
She ended up staying longer than
As she walked along under the tall elm
When she reached the alley, which was a
However, halfway down the alley she
She became uneasy and began to pray,
Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness
When she reached the end of the alley,
The following day, she read in the
Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and
Thanking the Lord for her safety and to
She felt she could recognize the man, so
The police asked her if she would be
She agreed and immediately pointed out
This had me laughing for ages - Please read
Farmers Life insurance: does that mean you get paid when you die?
Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.
My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.
"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton
You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
And God(CARLISLE) said "Let there be Edward,"...and it was gooooood
When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.
Happiness is like a disease, contagious by touch...POKE! :D
Taps persons head Do I hear an echo?
I'm not insane!!...Just normally this way...
SELL YOUR SOUL...for a cupcake!
...was I supposed to say something?
I'm 100 focus-...ooooo look at the pretty butterfly...!
Gravity is my greatest enemy o.0
Looks at homework That's it! Screw college, I'm going into the fast food buisness!
It's not a lie! It's just an exadguration of a non-fiction statement...
Most people will think I'm reading...but i'm really looking at the book with a blank expression
It's not that I dislike you...I just...hate people
Crushes are like puppies; cute when they follow you around... but when you throw a stick they won't leave!!
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling
When I am at Hogwarts I will not sing: "I'm Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmasters office.
Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!
Life was so simple when boys had cooties
I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!
Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
I ran with scissors, and lived!
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
I'm the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorious. But not so much tastey!
Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.
I agree with the dictionary. girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.
We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're really going at one thing, staying strong.
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.
I'm right 98 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3?
I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y".
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 muscles to smile,but only 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone.
"Doctors say I have multiple personalties. We disagree with that."
"When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did."
"It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full, just drink it and get it over with."
"I'm not afraid of Death. What's he gonna do, kill me?"
Put this in your profile if you know a person or two who needs to get squished by a bus... or Tyler Crowley's van
Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together."
"Education is important, school however, is another matter."
"Don’t mess with me - I've got a stick."
"Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable."
"Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't."
"I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either."
"1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you."
"Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls."
"Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped."
"What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
"He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it.
"Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that."
"Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over."
"You know your addicted when Volterra is added to your computer dictionary."
"Whoever said that nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door."
"I'm the kind of girl who falls and apologizes for it."
"I do not suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it."
"I smile cause I don't know what the hell is going on."
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.
if Hannah Montanna was standing on the edge of a 6 story building about 90 of Americans would have a nervous breakdown. If you are one of the 10 of Americans that is yelling "JUMP BITCH!" copy and paste this in to your profile
If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you think being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile.
When the man was told he had been
The officer thanked Diane for her bravery
She asked if they would ask the man one
Diane was curious as to why he had not
When the policeman asked him, he
Amazingly, whether you believe or not,
Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly
Take Time To Read Each Sentence
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is retard cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now read the THIRD word of every line :)
When you rearrange the letters:
THE MORSE CODE :
ELECTION - RESULTS:
A DECIMAL POINT:
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
hey its me it's march 11 2011 im having my best friend spend the night shes here right now ok shes having some guy troubles along with me shes crazy about J and i think im starting to like my friend whose a boy hes awesome E is awesome he is so sweet! what should we do i dont have the courage to ask him out?
my friend took one of my quizes and it came back i killed a hobo cause i love nachos
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Man: Is this seat empty?
Man: Your place or mine?
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Every time we touch
I still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me
I still feel your touch in my dreams
Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why
Without you it's hard to survive.
'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling
And every time we kiss I swear I can fly
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last
Need you by my side.
'Cause every time we touch, I feel static
And every time we kiss, I reach for the sky
Can't you hear my heart beat slow…
I can't let you go
Want you in my life
Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky,
They wipe away the tears that I cry
The good and the bad times, we've been through them all
You make me rise when I fall
TWILIGHT COPY AND PASTES
If you've read Twilight over four times- then copy and paste on to your profile.
If you are in love with the ever so charming Edward Cullen and Jasper Whitlock- then copy and paste on to your profile.
If you wish that you was Bella Swan- then copy and paste onto your profile.
I am 100 Team Edward though I do think he is an idiot in New Moon...
╔══╦══╦══╗ If you have been diagnosed
«´¨• Twilight •´¨» ´•.¸(•.¸ ¸.•´)¸.•´
What are your 10 favorite Twilight characters (in order)?
Have you ever read a 5/3 fanfic?
Nope I haven't
What about an 8/4?
What if 5 walked in on 1 and 4?
Aro walk in on Bella and Carlisle would be great to see
Would you make out with 2?
Well I love Team Edward so yes I would number
Has 6 ever walked in on 7 and 9?
If you think this next thing is incredibly cute and sweet, copy and paste it onto your profile.
Bella: Do I ever cross your mind?
Bella: Do you like me?
Bella: Do you want me?
Bella: Would you cry if I left?
Bella: Would you live for me?
Bella: Would you do anything for me?
Bella: Choose--me or your life
Edward: My life
Bella runs away in shock and pain and Edward runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
The 10 Commandments of Twilight
1. I am the best book out there, you shall have no better ones than I.
2. You shall not take Edward Cullen's name in vain.
3. Remember to keep release dates calendared.
4. Honor the Cullen's for gracing you with their presence.
5. You shall not kill humans or shape-shifting wolves.
6. You shall not love both Edward and Jacob equally.
7. You shall not steal Twilight books from your friends to see how they will react when they can't read them anymore.
8. You shall not lie, for Edward will know that you did anyways.(Unless he can't hear you...)
9. You shall not covet Edward.
10. You shall not covet Edward's Volvo, or various Cullen cars.
A Twilight Survey
Which book in the series is your favorite?
How long did it take you to read the books?
Who introduced you to the books?
Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift?
Who is your favorite character?
Bella, Edward, Jasper, Carlisle, Aro, Marcus, Caius, Phil and Charlie
Who's your favorite vampire?
Who is your favorite werewolf?
What's one of your favorite quotes from the stories?
What was your favourite Bella and Edward moment?
The scene in the dance studio in Twilight book
What was your favorite Bella and Jacob moment?
Definitely when she punches him. Then breaks her hand!!! lol!
How about your favorite Bella and Alice moment?
In Eclipse when Alice 'kidnapped' Bella and was painting her toe-nails
What was your favorite adventure/battle?
When James hunts Bella and she runs of to the dance studio.
Which book cover was your favourite?
Are these books among your favorite books of all?
Twilight or New Moon?
New Moon or Eclipse?
Eclipse or Twilight?
Who do you want to see Bella with most: Edward or Jacob?
Who do you like more:
Bella or Edward?
Bella or Jacob?
Bella or Alice?
Alice or Jacob?
Rosalie or Alice?
Jasper or Alice?
Jasper or Edward?
Carlisle or Esme?
Emmett or Jasper?
Emmett or Jacob?
Bella or Rosalie?
Esme or Charlie?
Charlie or Carlisle?
Charlie or Billy?
Jacob or Sam?
Sam or Quil?
Quil or Embry?
Who's the better villain: James or Victoria?
Werewolves or Vampires?