Author has written 4 stories for Maximum Ride, Animal Crossing, Heist Society, and Gallagher Girls.
Hiya you guys!
My name is SapphireAster. Obviously, its just a pen name and not the name on my birth certificate. I've written more stories then I can count (most of them are so crappy they don't end up on the site _) and I am a HUGE grammar freak. I'm looking for someone who needs a Beta, so if you need one, review on of my stories or PM me!
Anything else you want to know?
...Look at the craziness below!
P.S... If you read my bio, please say something about flying monkey lizards in a review or PM...
I have a webs so come check it out! Updates on my stories will be posted on it!
My Fav Books/series:
Harry Potter (all books!)
Septimus Heap series
Meg Cabot's fiction
Wee Free Men
The Shield, The Sword and The Crown
Agatha Christie's mysteries
...and a LOT more random thingss I find in the library.
Black Butler (Kuroshitsuji)
Full Metal Alchemist
Full Metal Panic
Ouran High School Host Club
...mostly slice of life stuff ;)
Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
"The world has music for those who listen."-William Shakespeare
Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else.
If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit.
"Art is the triumph over chaos"- John Cheever
YOUR GUY SIDE:
You love hoodies.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
You watch sports on TV.
You like going to high school football games.
Its kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
YOUR GIRL SIDE:
You wear lip gloss.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Man: Is this seat empty?
Man: Your place or mine?
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Man: I know how to please a woman.
Man: I want to give myself to you.
Man: I'd go through anything for you.
Man: So, wanna go back to my place ?
Man: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
Man: But I don't know your name.
Man: Hey, baby, what's your sign?
Man: Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason
Man: Haven't we met before?
HOMOPHOBIA IS GAY
I am the boy who never finished school because I was called a fag everyday.
I am the girl who got kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I was a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because no one will hire a transsexual.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they wouldn't allow my partner of 27 years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up to the nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family i have ever had. I wished they could adopt me.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before my high school graduation. It was just too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one bedroom for two men.
I am the one person who does not know which bathroom to use so the management doesn't come for me.
I am the mother who is not even allowed to see the children I bore, nursed and raised.
The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the father who never hugged my son because I grew up afraid to show affection to males.
I am the Home Ec teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians could teach it.
I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized i was transsexual.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because i don't believe, but because they closed the doors to my kind.
I am the girl ashamed to tell my own friends that I am a lesbian because they make fun of them.
I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men said they needed to 'teach me a lesson'.
I am the person who needs to hide what this world needs the most: love.
IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG- REPOST THIS
Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso .
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Smuggling Diamonds"
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives,They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner."Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!!
MAXIMUM RIDE FAN QUESTIONS:
1. Do you think Iggy is hot?
2. Did you cry when Ari died?
3. Do you think Fang is hot?
4. How do you pronounce Ari's name?
Air-ee or Ar-ee
5. Do you laugh every time you read the name Mr. Chu?
6. -SPOILER ALERT- In MAX, did you laugh hysterically when Total started talking about marriage?
REALLY? Um. no.
7. -SPOILER ALERT- Did you squeal at all the faxness in MAX?
I'm afraid I didn't.
8. Did you angrily throw your book across the room when the flock split up?
No. I was actually in the car so I just made angry noises and got odd looks from my brother.
9. Who is your favorite character?
10. Do you like Jeb?
I'm rather indifferent
11. -SPOILER ALERT- Were you making a genuine "WTF" face when Max and Fang grew gills?
No, i was thinking: 'how the crap does James Patterson remember all their powers? Does he have a list on his refrigerator?'
12. Did you think MAX was better than TFW?
Yes. TFW was to short
13. -SPOILER ALERT- Did you get slightly fed up with Nudge and Angel's slight attitudes in MAX?
I don’t really remember them having attitudes, so no.
14. Which book is you’re all time favorite?
Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports
15. If the flock had a theme song, what would it be?
Something epic...and by Paramore
16. Have you ever imagined the flock as a band playing whatever song comes up when listening to your iPod?
I can honestly say that has never happened.
17. Who do you think the Voice should be?
Who was the voice?!
18. Do you think one or more members of the flock should learn to play an instrument?
Does it really matter? They're on an island.
19. What bugged you the most about TFW?
the randomness... and how short it was
20. MIGGY, MYLAN or FAX?
FAX!!!! ...mylan is horrible and miggy is weird...
Top 75 Most Annoying Things To Do In An Elevator
When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.
Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
Ask, "Did you feel that?"
Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
Swat at flies that don't exist.
Tell people that you can see their aura.
Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"
Put police tape in front of the door before entering.
Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.
Hold an auction.
Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.
Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.
Throw a rave.
Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."
Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".
Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.
When you brush past someone, whisper "Was it good for you too?"
Lean over to another rider and whisper 'Noogie patrol coming!'"
Have a heated debate with yourself.
Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.
Drum on every available surface.
Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.
Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.
Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.
Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.
Propose to the other passengers.
Challenge people to duels.
Sell girl scout cookies.
Bring a large pile of ice. Build an igloo on the floor.
Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."
Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.
Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a lighter.
Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.
Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.
Shout "Food fight!"
Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.
Elevators were practically MADE for river dnce!
Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"
Press your nose against the other passengers, and say "You know, this is what the Eskimos used to do before having sex."
Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Look relieved when it stops
moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.
Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.
Practice your kung fu.
Make race car noises when people get on and off.
Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"
Fly a model airplane.
Play the accordion
Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.
Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.
Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.
Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."
Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.
Start laughing maniacally like "muwahahahahaaa!!!!!!!"
AWESOME MAXUIMUM RIDE QUOTES:
"You...are...a...fridge...with wings. We're...freaking...ballet...dancers." Fang
"I know everything, as I continue to remind you." -Fang
"I love Nudge, I really do. But that motor mouth of her's could have turned mother Theresa into an Axe murderer" - Max from Maximum Ride
"Yes! Freaks RULE!" Fang
"Fang! This is a huge break! Of course we should go check it out!"
"I look like prep school Barbie." Nudge looked at me. "Actually, you look like prep school Barbie. I'm just Barbie's friend." Nudge
"Captain, like the captain of a ship. And then Terror, you know, T-E-R-O-R." Gasman
"You...are...a...fridge...with wings. We're...freaking...ballet...dancers." Fang
"Fang, Fang, Fang. I love you. I love you sooo much."
"Oh, jeez." Max and Fang
"Pick a tree. I'll go carve our initials in it." Fnick
"Because all you mad, evil scientists sit around whipping up batches of Pillsbury's finest during your coffee breaks." Max
"I'll grab a zebra; Gaz, you fill all the bubbles with your trademark scent so people are choking and gagging; and let's throw beef jerky in their eyes! Now, that's a plan!" -Iggy
"Well, I have a highly developed sense of irony." Iggy
"Fang? Are you - like Max?"
"Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica." Fang
"Oh yeah, 'cause Fang is all about the wordy sharing of feelings." Max
"'Iggy, this is not a democracy," I said, understanding his fear but not being able to do anything about it. "It's a Maxocracy.'"-From Max Ride: The Angel Experiment
"Ok, so that did me in. Mr. Rock being all emotional? Expressing feelings?..., total flock hug, and I put my head on Fang's shoulder and cried."- Max, MR4
"The one thing I really can't stand is when Max and the others are in pain or upset. Not upset as in angry or teed off, 'cause God knows if that got to me I'd be totally out of luck." -Fang
I let my jaw drop open, looking from him to Fang and back. And then Iggy was smiling huge in a way he never does, and Fang was grinning in a way he hardly ever does, and I felt like skipping around like a ballerina, which i promise you, I never, ever do." -Max, MR4
"Those wacky Brits called fries 'chips'. And potato chips were 'crisps'. And cookies were 'biscuits'. I had no ideal what real biscuits were called. Wangdoodles?" -Max
Jeb turned to her. "She's incorruptible." Bully for me. "At least by power." I said. "You haven't tried chocolate or cute shoes."-Max and Jeb
"I'm hit, Max. They got me. I guess I'm gonna live fast, die young, and have a beautiful corpse, huh?" -Total to Max
"What's your name?""Isabella von Frankenstein Rothschild."-Angel answering Steve
"South America. It'll be warm. They have llamas. You like llamas." -Max
"I feel like pudding. Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain." -Iggy
"I vill now destroy de Snickhuhs bahs!" Gazzy to Ter Borchet
I love these 100 question thingies, even though they TOTALLY clog up my profile. xD
1) Are you in a relationship with somebody? hahahaha- oh. you were serious. In that case, no.
2) Do you hate more than 3 people? Umm... if I tallied my real-life enemies, AND my fictional enemies, it'd be about 2000000. So yes.
3) How many houses have you lived in? Like, three?
4) Favorite candy bar? Harry and David 70% cocoa. I like my chocolate:)
5) Favorite shoes? ALEXANDER MCQUEEN. That man is/was AMAZING!
6) Have you ever tripped someone? Well duh.
9) Do you own a Britney Spears CD? Nope.
10) Have you ever thrown up in public? No, thank god.
11) Name one thing that is always on your mind. That stupid song with those lyrics. >(
12) Favorite genre of music? Showtunes and alt rock. Actaully, everything except insane rap.
13) What is your zodiac sign? Virgo.
14) What time were you born? How am I supposed to know? It's not like I could magically read time when I was born!
15) Do you like beer? No.
16) Ever made a prank phone call? Yes!! To my friend Becca's creepy ex.
17) What is the most embarrassing CD you own? A disco CD, with a bunch of fruity songs that went out of style YEARS ago.
18) Are you sarcastic? Naw, duh.
19) What are your favorite colors? The rainbow!!!
20) How many watches do you own? A TON. Seriously, my mom got some from her boss and gave them to me.. And none of them work.. thanks mom.
21) Summer or winter? Winter... I like the snow:)
23) Favorite color to wear? Blue, or black.
24) Pepsi or Sprite? Sprite definitely.
25) What color is your cell phone? Gray.
26) Where is your second home? Probably my best-friend Amy's house.
27) Have you ever slapped someone? Playfully.
28) Have you ever had a cavity? NOPE!
29) How many lamps are in your bedroom? Two, but one of them isn't assembled.
30) How many video games do you own? Not many, I usually I just borrow from Amy, who has like, five thousand. :D
31) What was your first pet? My dad's allergic.. But I do have chickens.
32) Ever had braces? Nope, I have perfect teeth.
33) Do looks matter? Of course, but personality is vital, as well.
34) Do you use chapstick? Yes!
35) Name 3 teachers from your Middle School: A clueless, young Mennonite English teacher, a drabbling, fat Civics teacher who wears picnic blankets, and a godawfully annoying Algebra teacher.
36) American Eagle or Abercombie? Does it matter?
37) Are you too forgiving? No, I actually have trouble forgiving people...
38) How many children do you want? Maybe three. Twins, 2 girls and 1 boy. Or Two kids, 1 boy, 1 girl. Margaret Mary and Victor.
39) Do you own something from Hot Topic? Yeah, I own a LOT of stuff from that store.
40) Favorite breakfast meal? Waffles! Or maybe scones.. they are so yummy!
41) Do you own a gun? Not personally, my brother owns a b-b gun though..
42) Ever thought you were in love? Ha. Nope.
43) When was the last time you cried? I dunno.
44) What did you do 3 nights ago? Sleep. Duh.
45) Olive Garden? La Panera? PANERA!
46) Have you ever called your teacher mommy? I cannot remember that far back...O.o
47) Have you ever been in a castle? Does Mario count?
48) Nicknames? Yo mamma. JK! Yeah, my dad calls me by my middle name.
49) Do you know anyone named Bertha? WORST NAME EVER.. and no.
50) Ever been to Kentucky? YES! Went to visit my cousin.
51) Do you own something from Banana Republic? Yes.
52) Are you thinking about somebody right now? When am I not...?
53) Have you ever called someone Boo? ... As in Boo Radley?
55) Do you own a diamond ring? Not currently.
56) Are you happy with your life right now? Occasionally.
58) Does anyone like you? I dunno. I can't read minds.
59) What year were you born? Um, creeper much?
60) What were you doing in May of 1994? None of your beeswax.
61) Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD? Not my type of music. So no.
62) McDonalds or Wendys? McDonald's fries, Wendy's milkshake thingys.
63) Do you like yourself? Yes, I like myself very much!
64) Are you closer to your mother or father? I love them both!
65) Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex? Hair. Hight. Eyes. General apperance.
66) Are you afraid of the dark? Sometimes... if I'm somewhere I don't know.
67) Have you ever eaten paste? As in glue?
68) Do you own a webcam? Yeah...
69) Have you ever stripped? Yes, when I like, take a shower. Or else I'd shower with my clothes on.
70) Ever broke a bone? No.
72) Do you chat on AIM often? Never.
73) Pringles or Lays? Lays.
74) Have you ever broken someone's heart? Not that I know of..
75) Rugrats or Doug? Rugrats. What is Doug anyways?
76) Full House or The Brady Bunch? BRADY BUNCH!
77) Did you like your middle school guidance counselor? Uh. No?
78) Has anyone ever called you fat? Yes, but only when I'm eating a lot... I'm actually pretty skinny...
80) Do you own a car? No.
81) Can you cook? YESSS.
82) 3 things that annoy you: People who brag when they don't have anything to brag about, people who have bad grammer, and people who say the same thing, over and over, and over.
83) Do you text message often? Occasionally. It's not like my life is attached to my phone.
84) Money or love? Please explain why I can't have both..
85) Do you have any scars? Yeah, right above my lip... fell and my teeth went through my lip. So.. I had to get cosmetic surgery to get it fixed.
86) What do you want more than anything right now? For my life to go the way I want it to. For the next 30 years.
87) Do you enjoy scary movies? Hell to the no!
88) Relationships or one night stands? Relationships, duuhhhh.
89) Big Red or Juicy Fruit? Neither. I'm a Winterfresh girl. :)
90) Do you enjoy greasy food? Um, no. McDonald's fries acually.
91) Have you seen all the Rocky movies? Nooooo.
92) Do you own a box of crayons? BOX? I'm wayyyy beyond a box.. it's more like a bin...
94) Who was the last person that said they loved you? My little brother.
95) Who was the last person that made you mad? I dunno.
96) Who was the last person that made you cry? Not a person exactly, I ran into the door frame...O.O...
97) Who was the last person that made you laugh? Amy, via PM
98) Who was the last person that you fell for? He. No one.
99) Who was the last person that instant messaged you? AMY!(a.k.a Zeldaerp)
100) Who was the last person that called you? Amy, by best friend in the whole entire world!
I MUST BE...
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic
100 Themes for any fiction
5. Whipped Cream
27. Public Speaking
56. Free Time
79. Pure Hearted
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