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Joined 12-28-10, id: 2676136, Profile Updated: 10-10-11
Author has written 3 stories for Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and Harry Potter.

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity:

Send This In An E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile!

Fun Things To Do In A Lift

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in
there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

STEREOTYPES (The ones that I am are bolded):

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist.
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I can't help POINTING OUT MISTAKES so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake.

I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.

Stories in progress:

Opposites Attract - My first fanfic! A Apollo/OC romance. DISCONTINUED

The End of Camp Half-Blood - Originally a one-shot, but due to supportive reviews, I have decided it to expand it into a series of ways to end Camp Half-Blood. Pure parody, OOC, and humor.

Out of My Life - My first Sirius/OC fanfic. For some reason, I'm suddenly obsessed.

Random Quotes From My Life:

(In English)

Mrs. N: So why did the character's lover poison him? Did she have a reason?

Lily: (whispers to me) Ohmygod! Maybe he RAPED HER! (Not being serious)

Me: (Gasps) RAPIST! (Really loudly)

Class and Mrs. N: (Staaaaaaaare...)

(After school, sitting at desks)

Me: (Laughs randomly)

Lily: What?

Me: (Laughs harder) I don't know!

Lily: Okay...

Me: (Laughs even harder) It's not even funny! I'm just laughing!

Lily: (Decides to ignore me)

Me: (Laughs harder)

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Timeless by Gaia v reviews
SEQUEL TO 'UNCONDITIONAL': Twelve years in captivity can change a person. 14 years even more so. When Alina Blake escapes captivity, the world around her has changed. Torture, Loss and Heartbreak have harsh consequences;can love truly survive them?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 25 - Words: 96,129 - Reviews: 293 - Favs: 160 - Follows: 250 - Updated: 3/9/2014 - Published: 7/19/2011 - Sirius B., OC
Surprise Teachings by ThinksInWords reviews
The best tutor at Rousseau High School faces off with the self-admitted school slut. Principal Javert won't know what hit him. E/E
Les Misérables - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,946 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 11 - Published: 4/3/2013 - Enjolras, Eponine - Complete
There Will Be Light by unicornesque reviews
"They were a strange couple, the boy and girl who moved in next door." Enjolras and Éponine make it through the revolution, and now they have to live with the consequences and each other. She wonders how he survived the war, while he wonders how to survive her cooking. He's angry because his destiny's been changed, and she's angry because he doesn't know how to be anymore.
Les Misérables - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,544 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 413 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 3/2/2013 - Published: 2/25/2013 - Enjolras, Eponine - Complete
Unconditional by Gaia v reviews
Alina Blake has always kept those around her at arms length, afraid that her friends may discover the horrific abuse she suffers at home. But keeping Sirius Black out is not easy, even when you have powers that even Voldemort could only dream of.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 52 - Words: 188,597 - Reviews: 417 - Favs: 363 - Follows: 185 - Updated: 12/13/2012 - Published: 10/31/2009 - OC, Sirius B.
The Mark of Q by leDaph reviews
Sixth year wasn't supposed to be anything out of the ordinary for Alex - well, 'ordinary' is relative when you have international spies for parents and a secret identity to maintain. But her days of thwarting the Marauders are up... they're fighting back!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 55,443 - Reviews: 280 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 134 - Updated: 10/16/2012 - Published: 5/18/2008 - Sirius B., OC - Complete
Knitting by 9r7g5h reviews
In which Taz comes across Up doing the unthinkable.
Starship - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,821 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 6 - Published: 10/7/2012 - Taz, Up - Complete
Two Steps From Hell by thesinandthesinner reviews
The Order of the Phoenix: A world class assortment of eccentric, strange, humorous and some would say, idiotic characters.They'd have to survive their Seventh Year first and falling in love before bringing the biggest egomaniac on the planet down.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 56 - Words: 186,163 - Reviews: 281 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 103 - Updated: 9/26/2012 - Published: 3/15/2012 - Sirius B., OC
The Ones Left Behind by sudowoodo reviews
Sirius wasn't looking for a new best friend, but James was now spending all his time with his new girlfriend. Sirius was the one left behind, and I was the one he found. And neither of us expected what we found in each other. JamesXLily SiriusXOC
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 153,456 - Reviews: 665 - Favs: 799 - Follows: 293 - Updated: 6/28/2012 - Published: 7/15/2011 - Sirius B., OC - Complete
Evacuate The Dance Floor by thesinandthesinner reviews
Sirius Black and the rest of the Marauders are forced to learn ballroom dancing in lieu of their horrendous "dancing" at the Halloween Ball.The worst part is that he's partnered with one of the few girls in school who has ignored his existence.Ooops.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 80,230 - Reviews: 221 - Favs: 208 - Follows: 115 - Updated: 3/1/2012 - Published: 12/3/2011 - Sirius B., OC - Complete
Moonlight Sonata by Lady Fireflower reviews
Ana is from a future where Harry Potter died within the Department of Mysteries aged fifteen. Her world is under the rule of Voldemort completely. Now what remains of the Order have come to believe their only hope lies not in the future but in the past...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 110,543 - Reviews: 150 - Favs: 236 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 9/26/2011 - Published: 7/15/2011 - Sirius B., OC - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Out of My Life reviews
Kate Brink has hated Sirius Black almost all her life, and she wishes that he never came into her life. But sooner or later Kate has to realize that no matter how hard she tries, she just can't get him out of her life. Full summary inside.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 27,833 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 10/4/2011 - Published: 7/12/2011 - OC, Sirius B.
Opposites Attract reviews
A daughter of Hades, especially a Hunter of Artemis, was never expected to fall in love with a god. But Bryn Reedwing has fallen for one particular sun god... Slightly OOC, rated T for swearing and a little sexual content. OC/Apollo
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 11,968 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 82 - Updated: 3/6/2011 - Published: 1/2/2011 - Apollo
The End of Camp HalfBlood reviews
This is just a random thing I wrote in 30 minutes. TOTAL Mary-Sue. Major OOC. Don't blame me if it sucks, I came up with this idea in the shower...
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,281 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Published: 1/18/2011 - Complete