Author has written 2 stories for Lord of the Rings, and Misc. Movies....And thus, the sad and woeful tale of ZoSo begins...
Once upon a time, in the Shire, there lived two little hobbits. They were very much in love, and wanted to have like 13 babies. But they couldn't, or so they thought. Then thier friend, a wizard named Gandalf, cast a spell on the hobbits that allowed them to have children. These children carried traits from each of their parents. From one side they were sturdy, and loved gardening, and were ho's. On the other side, they were pale, and often wussy, and fell down alot. One of the great great great great granddaughters of these pale, sturdy children one day got abducted by aliens, and was taken from her little Smial, to the Planet Transsexual, in the Galaxy of Transylvainia. When she got there, she decided that she loved this new Planet, with it's noctunral, nymphomanic inhabitants. The little hobbit soon fell in love with one of these Transylvainians, and together they had an adorable baby girl. But what the hobbit didn't know was that the Transylvainian was actually the Prince of Transsexual. Because of political battles within the galaxy, the royal family was being targeted by a radical group, called Night's Dreaming. While the Prince was away visiting Earth, he was assasinated by one of the ringleaders (heheh, ring) of this group, aided by his accomplice and sister. This sent the whole Planet into frenzy, and the Prince's mother, the Old Queen, decided it would be best if the Prince's daughter (who was heir to the throne) was sent far away from Transsexual, into hiding. They decided to send her to a place so hopeless, so random, that no one from Night's Dreaming would find her. They sent her to Rhode Island. They left her in a basket, with only her stuffed animal, Bunny, her faithful frying pan (an heirloom from her great great great great etc. grandfather), and a collection of Led Zeppelin and Steely Dan records, in the ghetto of Providence. One day, an ill-tempered hippy was walking by, and stopped when he saw the pile of classic rock records. He took them home, and had to take the baby too, because she was holding on to the tunes for dear life. When he got home, he showed the records to his wife, and was going to go trade the baby for crack, or maybe another guitar, when his wife stopped him, and decided to keep the baby, because she was that darn cute. The baby grew up in the ghetto of Providence, later moving to the suburbs. She dreams of one day geting back to her heritage, and at last re-claiming the throne of Transsexual as The Red Queen. Until then, she has decided to bide her time reading (and attempting to write) slash fanfiction, preaching the evil that is Rosie Cotton (the homewreckin' hussy who tried to separate the Twirp's ancestors) and generally being a silly hippy. And that concludes the tale of ZoSo, otherwise known to her earth-parents and other authority figures as Hannah, or simply Hey-You-I'm-Calling-The-Cops. Know this well, for it will be on the test.
Greetings and salutations fellow fanfic obsessees! Hmm well now that you know my life story (those of you who actually read that piece of stale lembas I call my bio), perhpaps you'd also be interested in my interests (No, you silly twirp, no one cares...SILENCE!) Anywho, a short list of mah favorite things:
Movies: The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Pride and Predjudice, The Day The Earth Stood Still, Some Like It Hot, Pootie Tang.
Books: Pride and Predjudice, A Series of Unfortunate Events, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Music: Led Zeppelin, Ben Harper, Jimi Hendrix, ICP, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Billie Holiday, Sly and the Family Stone, OutKast.
TV Shows: The Simpsons, SNL, Queer Eye For the Straight Guy
Actors: Sean Astin, Marylin Monroe, Paul Bettany.
Food: Pumpkin Pie, Chocolate, and Potatoes. No animals for me, thanks.
Hobbies: playin' the guitar, sewing, gardening, acting, writing, costume design, art, and pimpin'.
Arch Nemesis: Rosie Cotton.
Favorite Pairings: Frodo/Sam, Aubrey/Maturin, Will/Chaucer.
Phew. Oh, and support H.A.R.C. (Hobbits Against Rosie Cotton). Yyyyep.
Ok, that was a mouthful. As always people, review, and I'll be your friend forever!
With all due respect and exceptional long-windedness,
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