Author has written 40 stories for Justice League, Halo, Avatar: Last Airbender, Captain America, Flash, Batman, Lord of the Rings, Fantastic Four, Star Wars, Spider-Man, Gargoyles, Assassin's Creed, Mass Effect, Legend of Korra, X-Men, Young Justice, Green Lantern, Dungeons and Dragons, Marvel, Punisher, Ironman, Chronicles of Narnia, Warhammer, Dante's Inferno, and Godzilla.
Took me forever to do this, but here's my profile. To summarize, I'm a complete Comic book geek among many other things. I could go on at length to describe my numerous personal philosophies and ideas, and beliefs, but I'd rather not. Don't worry, I can be pretty friendly.
Anyway...I suppose I may as well list my views on writing. For starters, I do not believe in "skeletal writing" that is to say, nothing but dialog with little, brief descriptions thrown in. That's more like a script for a movie or play then an actual story. Second, spelling and grammar. I've seen many a good story be weighed down by piss-poor grammar and/or spelling errors. You really should proof-read your work before submitting it. If I have to correct someone's writing as I'm reading a story, it takes a lot of the fun out of it. Besides that though, I'm generally open to writing styles and different stories, so long as they are the kinds of stories I would enjoy.
And just for fun, a list of my likes and dislikes:
Likes: Family, friends, comics, Star Wars, good movies, video games, computer, writing, reading, history, LEGOS, good food (by good, I usually mean sugary), Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Halo, Mass Effect, The Simpsons, Avatar: the Last Airbender, good humor, and drawing.
Dislikes: Evil acts and individuals, haters, zealotry, whiners, people who are both ignorant and overly-opinionated, people who preach Hell, bad movies, Math, being ignored.
Since I'm on such a writing spree, I thought I would add more to my profile.
First off, I've got a ton of projects that I'm working on as well as new ideas that go through me like crazy. Most of them I find don't work as stories, but, you never know. Oh, and here's a word of warning: I find the "copy this into your profile" thing to be annoying as hell. I've got nothing against you if you want to do it, but I for one find it tedious, time-consuming, and annoying. If I agree with something, I agree with something. I don't have to copy it into my profile. Just saying.
PS: For those who have been following my "Avatar Couples" story, please note that I do take requests so long as you leave them in either a review or an E-mail. With one exception: NO Zukatara. I refuse to do that one. It's been done to death. But I'm game for almost anything else, except for a select few characters that I will not write about. But there aren't many of those.
Thanks a bunch, and May the Force be with You all. (Corny true, but what can I say? I'm a nerd)
NEW UPDATE-3/14/2011-WARNING: This is me listing some serious opinions. If that isn't for you, then feel free to stop reading.
OK, it is high time I laid down the line: If I have to hear the "If you believe in Jesus copy this into your profile and don’t ignore it, because the Bible says….etc, etc” I am going to lose my mind.
First off, that Bible that so many take so literally? It was written by people after the fact to get converts. We have no way of knowing whether or not Jesus actually said all of that. The Bible also says that Homosexuals are evil, and we all know that’s a lie, and that it’s a sin to eat Shrimp, which is also a load of rubbish. Second, I seem to remember that Jesus preached love, forgiveness, reconciliation, and the like. Personally, if that is the case, then I think that he would be understanding that some people (such as myself) have a hard time believing in all of this.
Third, I for one don’t see Heaven as a private club that only “Believers” get admitted into. I believe in being a good person above anything else. The fact that you can’t go to some eternal paradise after death because you had a hard time believing in a certain G-d strikes me as callous and unfair. Needless to say, it’s why I’m not Christian. If you really have to believe in a certain G-d, be it Jesus or whoever, then I think that that G-d would just visit you at the eleventh hour and ask: Do you believe now?
And in case any of you were wondering, I am not an Atheist. I do believe in G-d. Just not a G-d that sends people to Hell or denies people admittance into Heaven for really trivial reasons.
How’s that for “not ignoring it?” I acknowledge it, but I am not posting it. Nor am I submitting to it.
Have a nice day, and I hope I didn’t turn any of you off.
OK, first things first, my epic Star Wars-Halo Crossover is nearing it's conclusion. Just three chapters left! As for my Avatar Couples, it's still going strong, and will continue to do so even after my Renegades mini-series is done. As for future projects, well, I have a few. Mostly Halo and Comic-Book related. Its all up in the air on what I'll do first...and what I won't do at all.
Since I have a bit of free time and in honor of my ongoing "Avatar Couples" I will be reviewing the three seasons of the show in order. To start, I'll be looking back on the highs and lows of the season that started it all:
Review for Book 1: Water (Note that this is one of the first reviews I have ever written for anything, so please be kind)
As I'm sure you all know, Avatar the Last Airbender debuted on Nickelodeon a few years back, telling the tale of a certain twelve year-old monk and his friends versus the Nazi-esque Fire Nation in a world were people can harness the main four elements (Earth, Water, Air, and Fire) into real-world martial arts styles. Now, the first episode that I for one saw was "The Waterbending Scroll" Eventually, I got around to seeing the first 8 episodes. With the first few, I think that it was clear that the show had many strong elements (no pun intended) mirrored by some less then stellar ones.
For starters, the animation, which was pretty damn crude for most of the first season with a few exceptions, and the fact that many of the early episodes tried a bit too hard to be silly, with the humor not often being very good. Don't get me wrong: I love a good sense of humor, but what is worth mentioning is that the show was (at least later on) able to balance a serious story with some decent jokes and one-liners pretty well. Devoting an entire episode to being silly then, (like say, The Kyoshi Warriors episode, which I liked only because of those titular fighting girls) didn't usually end well, at least not for me. Sokka's overall character was another pretty good example of poor humor: constantly the butt of a lot of shameless comic relief of the eye-rolling variety, the poor sap just couldn't come off as having any real worth. The episode "Imprisoned" changed that, as it was the first time we got to see Sokka's natural intellect at work, and of course as things progressed, we got more such instances of his genius, (Avatar Roku and the Northern Air Temple are the best examples I can think of in Book 1) which helped improve his character greatly, to the point where he became my third favorite character (my two top favorites I shall get to later on...)
"Imprisoned" was also notable in that it successfully passed the Fire Nation off as pretty evil, even though they had to work around the obstacle of them never being allowed to, you know: KILL (at least not on-screen) But as I said, it worked. I mean what with them locking huge numbers of people up on a prison ship where they're apparently expected to just work endlessly for the rest of their days and all, and not to mention its just because they happened to be Earth Benders. You also had the Warden throwing one of his own men overboard just for saying something stupid, which also painted a portrait of some seriously evil guys pretty well...
And of course, the biggest "These guys are bad" hint came when we learned that Aang truly was the last airbender. The Fire Nation had wiped out all of the other Air Nomads. I don't know about you, but that sounds pretty bad to me, since all of those dead Airbenders would have undoubtedly included women, children, the elderly, and more. Not to mention being burned alive is a really horrible way to die...
Now the idea with the show, (at least I think so) was that you had to stay committed and see how unique and clever the world the creators made was, for if you only saw the first few episodes, then the show would definitely seem rather cliched. But as things progressed, the universe became vastly more creative. I believe the best instance of this first happening in Book 1 would be "The Winter Solstice" two-parter, which expanded on the concept of the Spirit World. This and the show's tendency to have 91% of their animals be amalgams of real-world animals helped add a bit of uniqueness to the proceedings. Then of course, there was the aforementioned "Waterbending Scroll" episode, which I liked for several reasons: aside from being the first episode I ever saw, and having some hilarious Uncle Iroh moments (another one of my favorite characters) we also got from the pirates that were present some villains that weren't Fire Nation, which also showed that not everyone in the Earth Kingdom was good...
The Episode after the Waterbending Scroll took that a step further, introducing my favorite character on the show in the process. The Episode's title character Jet came off as a cocky and charismatic (and not to mention badass) Robin Hood type, with a gang that came off like a fusion of Robin Hood's merry men and Peter Pan's Lost Boys. Unfortunately though, Jet turned out to be a bit too bloodthirsty in his vendetta against the Fire Nation, perfectly willing to flood an entire village of people just to kill the soldiers there. Its probably worth mentioning that had Sokka not cleared the village out, a lot of innocent people (including again, women and children) would have been killed. The episode also helped make Sokka yet more respectable, and also had some of the best action scenes on the show, as we saw a non-bender (Jet) basically kick the Avatar's ass.
And on that note, lets talk about the action for a moment: while its true that I had said that the animation was pretty crude for the most part in Book 1, the action scenes were the primary exception to the rule. Even in the earliest episodes, the action was where the show got to shine. Aside from the aforementioned Jet Vs. Aang fight, other favorites from the first few episodes alone were the challenges Aang had to face courtesy of King Bumi (another great character) and the awesome firebending duel between Prince Zuko and the Commander Zhao. 4
As for Zuko, well, initially I'm sure Zuzu's character didn't amount to much at first: just a bullying teenager with a seriously bad temper, which probably doesn't make for a very entertaining antagonist. But much like Sokka, Zuko evolved quickly as the show progressed, as we learned of his sympathetic backstory a little at a time, finally getting all of the gory details in "The Storm", where we learned that he got his nasty scar from his own father. Ouch. (On a side note, it is worth mentioning that Fire Lord Ozai was voiced by none other then Mark Hamill, AKA Luke Skywalker) In addition to giving us Zuko's full back-story (and in doing so madking him far more sympathetic and interesting as a character) it also gave us an insight into Aang's past, and how he ended up frozen in ice, which also succeeded in making him way more interesting a character then he had been previously.
Through it all, the show had a knack for getting better and better as it moved on. Things took a bit of a downturn in this regard with "The Fortuneteller" one of my least favorite episodes of Book 1. While not terrible, it's basically just filler, and also passes off Aang's attraction to Katara with all of the subtlety of a hammer to the skull, although then again, I suppose subtlety isn't quite what we're going for here...
Anyway, Book 1 came to a head with the last three episodes. OK, so maybe I felt that Sokka and Yue's relationship was perhaps a bit rushed for me to take too seriously, but they only did have three episodes to work with...on the other hand, the battles were pretty good, but with the exception of Aang as the Ocean Spirit decimating the Fire Nation fleet, the actual battle between the Water Tribe and Fire Nation was mostly ignored in favor of the main characters specific turmoils, which I suppose is only natural. Zuko and Katara's battle (which Zuko won!) was also pretty impressive, and in the end, the not-too likable Zhao was killed as a result of his stupidity. Never screw with the spirits it would seem...
And so, in the end, as much as I felt that the show got off to a somewhat rocky start, it quickly improved, and in the end I believe that it should be viewed as a successful experiment. And things only got better as it progressed. Book 2 proves this quite well I think. And yes, I will be reviewing Book 2...eventually.
FINAL SCORE: 7.9 out of 10
OK, I know I said I would be reviewing Avatar Books 2 and 3, but not today. Today is just another series of updates. Enjoy!
First off, I would like to take the time to say that my first fan-fic on this site: "Flash A Night on the Town" has hit the 160 mark and I will be doing a sequel to it. I also plan to (finally) finish my Star Wars-Halo crossover. As for my other works...
A Choice: I will probably not write any more for that, as it was meant to be just a one-shot. On the other hand, I MIGHT be doing another Batman fan-fic that takes place in the same universe as "A Choice", so there is that. It's also worth mentioning that that story has also hit the 300 mark. Yay!
Avatar Couples: I will eventually finish up the Renegades and then do another multi-part story involving Bumi and Kuzon. Other pairings after that will be MaixZuko (finally!) Ty LeexAzula, MaixTy Lee, another SokkaxSuki, and a sequel to my AzulaxJoker special. Pairings that I will not do unless physically tortured include: KataraxZuko, ZhaoxAnyone, and OzaixAnyone.
The misadventures of Dorflap the Grunt: I had initially just planned for that to be a one-shot, but since it's turned out to be way more popular then I thought, I suppose I will write more for it...eventually.
The Batman/Spider-Man story: Alas, I've run out of steam for this one. I might get around to finishing it eventually, but don't get your hopes up. It won't be happening any time soon.
A New Era: I do plan on doing more for this one, but again, I've kind of run out of steam and I have other projects on my mind. I will try and do more for this one though.
This here is for anyone who is looking to read my original Spider-Man: Downfall story. I strongly recommend you read all of this first to get a better understanding of my story’s background. For this is not Earth 616, but my own Marvel Universe, Earth 763. So some things are different. While this bio is now outdated in respects to my ongoing Earth 763 projects, it DOES still pertain to Spider-Man's backstory in the original Downfall story. So for those interested in reading the original Spider-Man Downfall, consider looking at this first if you want the full backstory.
Part 1: Early Life
Peter Parker was born in 1986, the only child of Richard and Mary Parker, two scientists who frequently did work for the US government, and in Richard’s case, were also affiliated with S.H.I.E.L.D. Peter was orphaned at the age of six when his parents were killed overseas during one of their trips on “government business” and Peter was then left in the care of his elderly aunt and uncle, Ben and May Parker, who raised him as the child they never had. As Peter grew older, it became apparent at a very early age that he had inherited his father’s love of science. In fact, by the time he was just a teenager he had shown an affinity for various fields of science that was nothing short of genius. Unfortunately though, he was also a shy and socially inept boy, and as a result, was the target of much cruelty. To compensate for this, his aunt and uncle never failed to provide steadfast love for their nephew, but privately they worried what lay in store for young Peter Parker…
Part 2: Becoming Spider-Man
Peter attended Midtown High School as a teenager, and it was during a field trip to Empire State University that his life was drastically changed forever. During the field trip, Peter and his classmates were shown, among other things, a collection of genetically enhanced “Super-Spiders” which combined various unique spider traits into all-purpose hybrids. Somehow, one of these Spiders had managed to escape and bit Peter on the hand, before then crawling away. His hand burning from the wound, Peter left the building in a daze, and passed out as he exited. He was hospitalized, and after a few hours, he recovered and was released. But during the time he had been in a coma, his body had undergone a truly amazing metamorphosis. Almost his entire biology had been changed, to the point where he was now a half-human, half-spider hybrid, with all of the latter’s abilities given to him to by the spider’s bite, but still retaining the physical appearance of a human being. And his entire interior biology was an odd mix of the two.
It did not take Peter long to realize what had happened, and though he initially panicked, he was ultimately able to calm himself, and then eventually, his fear and paranoia turned into a curious desire to test his new abilities. He found that he could now stick to a wall with his bare hands and feet, had enhanced strength, agility, durability, and reflexes, and most incredibly, had gained a “sixth sense” that provided him with an early warning of impending danger. And finally, he found that he had gained the ability to shoot organic “webbing” out of his wrists.
After a few simple tests of his various abilities in between the mountains of homework that came with being a high school student, Peter decided to give his abilities a real test. He donned a custom-made costume and mask and took part in an all-comers wrestling match against Crusher Hogan, winning with ease. In the aftermath, the fight promoter gladly gave him the promised 5,000 dollars. Intoxicated by his sudden success, Peter promised himself that he would use his newfound powers to take care of Uncle Ben and Aunt May. But everyone else, those who derided lonely science nerd Peter Parker, they were not his concern. So it was then that as he was leaving the venue, when a burglar named Dennis Carridean ran past Spider-Man, pursued by a police officer, Peter did nothing to intervene, an action that would later haunt him for the rest of his days.
Returning home, Peter was horrified to discover that Uncle Ben had been shot dead during a botched robbery attempt on the Parker residence. Enraged and consumed with grief, Peter tracked down the killer, and discovered to his horror that it was the same man that he had failed to stop just hours before. Filled with remorse, Peter finally understood that with great power came great responsibility, and dedicated his life to using his powers to help those in need. That was his first step t to becoming a hero, but more would follow. After making a few adjustments to his costume, to make it a bit more flashy and impressive, he first attempted to gain membership into the Fantastic Four, but did not succeed. Initially resenting the group for refusing to take him on, he had no idea that the team’s youngest member, the Human Torch, would become one of his greatest friends. Later that same day, the Chameleon impersonated Spider-Man but was soundly defeated by the wall-crawler and left for the police. His later attempts as a hero were less than successful though: a fight with some street thugs landed him in the hospital, and it was only thanks to a series of lucky breaks on his part that he managed to avoid having his identity outed right then and there. In the aftermath of this, Peter realized that he needed to train himself more and practice using his abilities. Mere power and guts alone would not cut it. And so after a few weeks of training, he was faster, more skilled, and more aware of his surroundings than ever before. His next fight against a pair of muggers ended with the hoodlums dangling from web-lines on a lamp post. Thus began many similar success against the criminal element of New York City. But it was not until J. Jonah Jameson offered a reward for photos of the super-villain Vulture that Peter realized he could fulfill his debt to his Uncle Ben by fighting crime, while selling photos of the action to pay the bills.
Part 3: First Adventures
Spider-Man’s heroic reputation grew quickly as he found himself facing a dizzying number of supervillains: Electro, Beetle, Sandman, Shocker, Doctor Doom, the Enforcers, Mysterio, Doctor Octopus, Scorpion, and Kraven the Hunter, among others. Before long, many of these villains turned their attention less to conventional crime, and more on seeking revenge on the web-slinger as evidenced when Doc Ock, Electro, Kraven, Mysterio, Sandman, and Vulture formed the Sinister Six to take him down. Through it all, Peter sold photos of Spider-Man’s battles to the Bugle, using the money to help Aunt May and himself get by. Invariably, J. Jonah Jameson would use the photos to attack Spider-Man’s image, regularly condemning the wall-crawler as a criminal, a fraud, a menace, a lunatic, and worse.
With the new confidence his secret identity afforded him, Peter quickly abandoned his previous identity as “Puny Parker”, and even the most popular girl in his class, Liz Allan began to take an interest in him. Peter’s prime tormenter Flash Thompson became infuriated at this and challenged Peter to a private boxing match. Peter beat him, which led to Flash developing a new respect for his former rival. Around this time, Peter also encountered several other superheroes, including Iron Man, who he fought alongside at city hall, Daredevil, another street-level hero, and the X-Men, with whom he quickly formed a friendship. Peter also encountered a deadly new foe in the Green Goblin. Strong, fast, wily, and ruthlessly amoral and cruel, the Green Goblin proved to be a challenging foe for Spider-Man, one that he could never seem to defeat outright. Shortly after his first encounter with the Green Goblin, Peter also began dating Daily Bugle secretary Betty Brant, who was captivated by the peril that surrounded both Peter’s photography of Spider-Man and Spider-Man’s adventures. But their romance was short-lived; Betty’s brother was murdered by the Green Goblin during one of his battles with Spider-Man, and the shock of it caused Betty to break up with Peter. It was here when Peter understood for the first time the deadly threat Spider-Man, and his enemies, posed to those he loved.
Peter struggled to meet the everyday demands of his costumed identity, school, his part-time job, and the Parker family’s perpetual money woes. Between it all, he had very little time for friendships, and yet he survived, and even flourished. He finished his second-to-last year in High School as a far more worldly and independent individual than many had predicted. And by that time, he had faced down and defeated numerous super-villains of all shapes and sizes, none of whom suspected the Amazing Spider-Man to be a “mere” high school student.
Part 4: Meeting New Friends
Returning to High School for his final year there, Peter found it a completely different experience. He befriended fellow intellectuals Harry Osborn, son of the inventor and scientist Norman Osborn, Hobbie Brown, who was secretly the vigilante Prowler, and Gwen Stacy, the police chief’s daughter. He also resolved his differences with Flash and Liz. Together, the six friends would often hang out at a café called the Coffee Bean.
And as Peter emerged from his shell all the more, Spider-Man faced a host of new adversaries on top of old ones, including among others Speed Demon, Jack O’ Lantern, and Hydro-Man. Through it all though, his greatest adversary was easily the Green Goblin, who ultimately managed to capture the hero and unmask him before then revealing his own identity as Norman Osborn. Peter managed to free himself from confinement, and in the furious battle that followed, Norman was defeated, suffering from amnesia in the process. Shortly after this, Spider-Man defeated the rampaging Rhino and then first met the lovely Mary Jane Watson, who joined his circle of friends. But love bloomed instead between Peter and Gwen, leaving Mary Jane free to date a smitten Harry.
Around this time, Spider-Man found himself facing off against other super-heroes enemies as well as his usual rogue’s gallery. Among others, he clashed with Gray Gargoyle, Whirlwind, Dragon Man, and even Attuma, who attempted to flood New York City. Spider-Man also encountered the Kingpin of Crime, whose legal protection made fighting him directly impossible for the web-slinger, until Spider-Man was able to acquire footage of Kingpin personally murdering corrupt Daily Bugle employee Frederick Foswell. Fisk swiftly went into hiding, never to return, though he would still occasionally hound both Spider-Man and Daredevil from the safety of parts unknown.
Part 5: Death of the Stacys
As the bond between Peter and Gwen continued to grow, it was observed approvingly by Gwen’s father, police captain George Stacy, who also supported Spider-Man’s efforts, much to the bitterness of one particular officer Stan Carter. Tragedy struck when Carter snapped, enraged at Stacy’s supporting of the vigilante snapped. Manipulated by an unknown individual, Carter became the insane vigilante Sin-Eater and went on a vicious murder spree that Spider-Man desperately attempted to stop to no avail. In the end, Captain George Stacy was killed protecting innocents from Sin-Eater’s random sprays of gunfire before Sin-Eater himself was finally shot dead by Police officer Jean deWollf, who happened to be Stan Carter’s former lover. With his dying breath, Captain Stacy told Spider-Man to “be good to Gwen” indicating that he knew who Spider-Man was all along. The web-slinger had lost a great ally, and it put strains on his relationship with Gwen. Peter’s conscience, already troubled by the ever-present need to lie to Gwen, only worsened. And to make things even worse, Gwen blamed Spider-Man for her father’s death, and between it all, she and Peter temporarily drifted apart, with Gwen finding solace in the company of Harry, who was also left frustrated by the fact that his love for Mary Jane was unrequited.
Eventually though, despite the strains, Peter and Gwen managed to get back together and stayed that way through the end of High School and into the start of College, facing various challenges from life along the way, not the least of which was Harry’s brief drug addiction. In the end, it was death that separated the two lovers. For Norman Osborn’s amnesia had worn off, and he had remembered who he once was. But rather then attack Spider-Man immediately, he had been the one responsible for manipulating Stan Carter into becoming Sin-Eater, and only then, just as both Peter and Gwen seemed to be recovering in the wake of it all, re-donned his Green Goblin mask. He kidnapped Gwen and took her to the George Washington Bridge where he dropped her. Spider-Man tried to save her but failed. Enraged, he relentlessly pursued the Green Goblin to his hidden warehouse and savagely beat him without mercy. Norman attempted to skewer Peter from behind with his glider, but, warned by his spider-sense, Peter leaped out of the way. Norman attempted to move himself, but his tattered cape became caught and he was impaled by his own glider before he could move in time. In the aftermath, Harry Osborn blamed Spider-Man for his father’s death and his friendship with Peter deteriorated.
In the aftermath of this tragedy, Peter and Gwen’s college professor, Miles Warren, had begun his own deadly schemes as the Jackal. He blamed Spider-Man for the death of Gwen, with whom he himself had become obsessed with. The climax of the Jackal’s plan involved his creation of a Spider-Man clone that he would use to defeat the original, but the clone chose to side with his “brother” instead, and in the ensuing conflict, Jackal was killed (though some evidence suggests that it might have just been a clone who had died in his place) and the Spider-Man clone also seemingly perished, but in actuality survived, changed his hair color and facial features to mask his identity, and disappeared. With the Jackal and the Green Goblin both gone, Peter’s life returned to normal, as much as it ever could for a college student who was secretly a costumed hero.
Part 6: College Years
As he continued College, Peter found himself facing more and more new adversaries: Boomerang, an assassin-for-hire who wasn’t above being flashy, Goldbug, a petty gold addict turned supervillain, the Punisher, a killer-vigilante, and Carrion, a clone of the Jackal who captured and unmasked Spider-Man but was then killed in the ensuing battle, though it also left Spider-Man wondering if perhaps the real Jackal may have survived as well…
In the meantime, Peter and Mary Jane realized that their friendship had become far more than just a friendship. Peter asked Mary Jane if she would be willing to marry him after he had finished college, but Mary Jane had seen far too much pain in her own family, and she turned him down. She left New York to pursue her acting career in Florida, and Peter moved on to his second year of college. It was a time of new challenges and new friends. But one thing would never change: the ever-present responsibility, and with it the challenges, that Peter faced as Spider-Man.
Peter’s college friends had begun to find their own lives. Liz Allan was dating a now drug-free Harry Osborn. Prowler/Hobbie Brown found happiness with Glory Grant, one Peter’s coworkers at the Daily Bugle. Flash Thompson was searching for a life after football and a tour of duty in Iraq with his girlfriend Sa Shan. Betty Brant had married Ned Leeds. Even Aunt May seemed to finally be moving on and recovering in the wake of her husband’s death. With all of Peter’s friends and loved ones now forming cozy couples, Mary Jane’s departure was all the more unsettling. But it was not long before Peter began…socializing again. He enjoyed several dates with Sally Avril but their relationship never developed. Also, departmental secretary Deborah Whitman was attracted to Peter, but like Sally, she failed to win his heart. Street vigilante Dagger briefly mesmerized him, and Amy Powell tried to use Peter to make her boyfriend Lance Bannon jealous, a plan that went up with smoke, along with any relationship she might have had with Peter.
Part 7: The Black Costume and the Black Cat
All of these women (except Dagger) had one thing in common: Peter Parker. But when the Black Cat crossed his path, it was much different: Felicia Hardy was beautiful, talented, and determined, but also an unrepentant cat burglar who harbored a romantic fascination with the web-slinging hero. Spider-Man quickly persuaded Felicia to turn away from crime and the two would occasionally work together to defeat common foes, but the occasional kiss and the ever-present sexual tension always hinted to Peter that they seemed to be more than just friends. Things took a bloody turn when the two attempted to stop a brutal gang war between Doctor Octopus, the Owl, and the Hobgoblin, a super-villain that had copied the Green Goblin’s serum and equipment. Doctor Octopus killed the Owl and then struck a temporary truce with the Hobgoblin to deal with Spider-Man and Black Cat. Black Cat was grievously injured in the battle before Spider-Man defeated both villains, although Hobgoblin managed to escape. As Black Cat lay at death’s door, Peter realized that she was the one for him.
As Black Cat recovered though, Spider-Man disappeared alongside the X-Men, the Fantastic Four, the Hulk, and the Avengers to take part in a war against several super-villains for the amusement of a cosmic being known as the Beyonder. During the conflicts, Peter came into contact with a strange alien life-form that laid dormant within the Superheroes stronghold on Battleworld. The alien life-form, a symbiote, bonded with Peter, giving him a black costume that enhanced his strength and stamina, making him stronger and faster than he had ever been before. Eventually, the Beyonder and the various villains it summoned was defeated, and the heroes returned to Earth.
Shortly after Peter returned to Earth and was reunited with a now fully recovered Black Cat, he bore witness to the marriage of Harry and Liz and apprehended the Punisher with the aid of Cloak and Dagger. Due to be executed for the countless murders he committed, the Punisher managed to escape, but lied low afterwards. Peter went on to face the Absorbing Man, Bullseye, and even Juggernaut. After another battle with the Hobgoblin, Peter finally unmasked himself to Felicia, only to find that she really had no true love for the man under the mask. Peter then fought the villain Jack O’ Lantern once again. After his initial victory, Spider-Man found himself facing the Sinister Syndicate, a collection of villains formed by Jack O’ Lantern to take down Spider-Man. Rhino came close to killing Spider-Man, but the timely arrival of The Thing enabled Spidey to recover in time for the two heroes to put down the Syndicate, though the team’s organizer Jack O’ Lantern escaped. Spider-Man and Black Cat continued to be crime-fighting partners as well as lovers, battling the likes of Shocker, Mysterio, Sandman, and Spot. For her part, Felicia urged Peter to spend more and more time in costume. The glamorous Black Cat could not bear to see her hero living the squalid life of a struggling college student. Eventually though, Peter couldn’t bear the idea of being a super-hero full time and reluctantly ended his relationship with Black Cat.
Part 8: The Road to Marriage
By this point, Mary Jane returned to New York City and revealed that she had known that Peter was Spider-Man for quite some time. With Spider-Man’s secret finally out in the open, Peter and Mary Jane’s relationship found new depth. Peter went on to fend off a double-attack from Scorpion and Rhino, unmask the Hobgoblin as Ned Leeds, and was almost killed by Kraven the Hunter before the madman committed suicide. In the midst of this madness, Peter realized that his black costume was a malevolent creature that was threatening to corrupt him. He was also attacked by the Hobgoblin yet again, and nearly killed, before the symbiote assumed full control and beat the Hobgoblin mercilessly, and in the process exposed the Hobgoblin’s true identity as Ned Leeds, a fashion-designer that Spider-Man had previously saved. Peter had no idea that this revelation would cause Eddie Brock, a journalist for the Globe that had covered the Hobgoblin story to lose his job…and his wife.
Consumed with rage, Eddie Brock vented his fury out on Ned Leeds, shooting him dead as he was released from prison. Horrified at his actions, Brock went to a church to confess and seek forgiveness from G-d. It was here that Spider-Man rid himself of the symbiote using the church bells. The symbiote went on to bond with Eddie Brock to create Venom. Told Spider-Man’s secret identity by the symbiote, Brock took the fight to Mary Jane only to be bested by Spider-Man. Shortly after this, Peter’s aunt confessed to him that she had known he was Spider-Man for some time but had been unable to confront him about it. With this revelation, Peter and Aunt May’s relationship became strong once more, and May became his strongest supporter of all.
Hard times came for the web-head. Electro came closing to killing him, the Sinister Six reformed, and Venom became a recurring nemesis, one Peter could seldom beat without outside help. But life was different now: he had Mary Jane at his side. Peter asked once again if Mary Jane would be willing to marry him. This time, Mary Jane said yes, and they planned to get married after College was finally over for the wall-crawler.
Shortly after this happiness though, trouble came once more. The Venom symbiote gave birth to a spawn that went on to bond with Eddie Brock’s cell mate, serial killer Cletus Kassidy. Dubbing himself “Carnage” Kassidy went on a rampage before Spider-Man and Venom teamed up to defeat him. Kassidy was imprisoned, and Venom slinked away. Spider-Man later discovered hidden tapes, memoirs, and other things left behind by his late parents that revealed to him the truth about his parent’s government ties. Digging deeper, he learned that they had been murdered by the Red Skull. This led to a series of adventures across Europe for Spider-Man that ended with the Red Skull slipping through his grasp and a fruitless fight against the Taskmaster and a student of his named “Blood-Spider” who was made to be an evil version of Spider-Man.
And that’s everything you need to know about Earth 763 Spidey! Now that that’s out of the way, I’m just going to point out a few other differences present in my Marvel Universe: First off, not all characters have their 616 costumes. Some characters have their Ultimate Universe looks (Captain America and Thor, among others) their movie looks (Doc Ock), or something entirely original (Hawkeye). If I don’t particularly like a classic look, then I replace or change it, IE: The X-Men founders never wear their ridiculous blackyellow outfits. Also, characters are less likely to change their costumes. Second, dead is dead. With a handful of exceptions, when characters die, they DO NOT COME BACK. For the most part. Third, my Marvel Universe is set squarely in modern times. The Avengers first debuted in 2001, and Spider-Man a year after. Spidey’s 25 by the time of my story, which takes place in 2011. On that note, time does pass in my world. Characters age. And that also means that some characters show up much earlier. For example, Punisher is not a Vietnam war veteran. If he was, he’d be in his mid-sixties by the time of this story, and I don’t think anyone wants to see Frank Castle in his mid-sixties. Finally, my universe has elements from 616, the Ultimate Marvel Universe, the movies, the Spectacular Spider-Man show, and my own imagination. So it’s basically a fusion, if that makes any sense. Stuff taken from all of the above to make what is (for me) the ideal Marvel Universe.
And that’s everything in a nutshell. Enjoy my story!
OK, just a few more weeks before school starts again, but thankfully I still have those few weeks. Anyway, my Spider-Man: Downfall Story is in full swing, so I thought I would list some other future projects:
OK, I know I promised Gargoyles Fan-Fictions and I have yet to do any, but hopefully I'll get around to it eventually. This same thing extends to my promised Star Wars stories. I will eventually post at least one, maybe more, but I'm not sure I'll be getting around to the others. No, future projects are a Batman story (maybe two), a Justice League story, and a Green Lantern/Halo crossover, though probably not what you're thinking.
That's everything. Enjoy, and keep reading!
Good news! One of my stories just got admitted to the K.I.C.K.A.S.S. community, and I'm both surprised (and happy) to hear this. For those who are interested, K.I.C.K.A.S.S. can be found here: http://www.fanfiction.net/community/Kilowatts_Inventory_of_Comics_Known_for_Advanced_Substance_and_Style/95273/
I really am so pleased to see that my Spider-Man story has proven to be so popular, to the point where its been added to this community. Thanks again to everyone who has reviewed and favorited so far! I really appreciate the attention and interest people have shown in my work!
And now to the bad news: I am currently going through personal problems and as such all writing projects are on hiatus until I get better. I am really sorry for the inconvenience, and to all of you who have invested in my stories up to this point. But as it stands, I'm simply in not in the right mood to write, and my well of creativity is blocked right now. Again, I really am sorry, but I need to recover.
I'm finally back! After nearly a month on hiatus, I'm finally back! Chapter 9 of Spider-Man: Downfall has just been uploaded, and I can assure you all that more progress for that is on the way. Unfortunately, all other projects have been cancelled except for "The Misadventures of Dorflap the Grunt" and "A Bat in the Web". In addition, I will be doing some additional stuff, mostly Star Wars, later down the line, but not right away.
And that's everything. Man its good to be back.
Been a while since I last I made one of these updates isn't it? Well, I think that the circumstances kind of call for it.
First, I hear that FF.Net is undergoing some kind of ridiculous "purge". I fail to understand their logic for this. It is censorship, and censorship I view as a crime. It is a suppression of art, and by extension, a suppression of free will. We should have the right to post stories of any kind within reason. And I'm sorry, but stories with violence, sex, swearing or any combination thereof is within reason so long as its not pornographic and is given a proper rating. And heck, even if it is pornish, I believe that so long as it is rated accordingly and appropriately labeled, it should not be deleted. If you're not into it, THEN DON'T READ IT. It is as simple as that. I don't like certain books. Does that mean we should burn them? No. Even if its something as well-loathed as say, the Twilight Saga (legions of "Twihards" not withstanding) I do not believe that anybody has any right to ban such books in what amounts to a display of facism. There is such a thing as freedom of speech and freedom of expression. Let's continue to exercise it OK?
Second, so, so many fictions main conflicts involve violence. That's just the way they work. Now we can go into deep philosophical debates on the nature of war and peace, violence and its effects and stuff like that but the honest truth is I really don't have any interest whatsoever in talking about stuff like that. The bottom line is that all of MY favorite fictions: Comic Books, Star Wars, Mass Effect, Halo, Lord of the Rings, Avatar: the Last Airbender, Harry Potter, and numerous others have at least a fair bit of violence. Now, some have more violence than others, but at the end of the day, all of these things include violence and feature violence in many of the key moments of the stories. For as we know, violence is a form of conflict. You take the violence away, you take away 90% of the conflict in these stories. Don't get me wrong, I hate real-world violence (though I'm also a firm believer in self-defense) but fiction is an entirely different matter. No conflict means no story. Simple as that. Some fandoms can get away with little to no violence, but there are so, so many others that cannot.
Finally, I'm under the impression that M rated stories are automatically deleted. Now that is completely unfair, as it is having an assumption that all M rated stories are automatically gore-porn fests. Whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty? And again in this case, the "guilty" really have nothing to feel guilty for. They are merely expressing themselves, exercising creativity, and in many cases, portraying their favorite fictional worlds accurately. Do you really think it makes sense for a the UNSC and Covenant to be at war but not fire a single shot? What do you think happens when the Reapers invade? Sunshine and puppies and Disney songs? No. Violence happens. Swearing happens. It is simply how those stories work. I see this as neither good nor bad. It is just a cold hard truth.
Fan-Fiction has always struck me as incredibly lenient. Now over night I learn that they are becoming puritanical, oppressive, and humorless. I like this site because I can write to my heart's content. Now I'm learning that all of my hard work is at risk of being deleted. That is an injustice, and I cannot fathom why the powers that be are acting this way.
And that's everything. I hope that that petition I signed works and that this purge plan can rot in hell where it belongs. And I don't even believe in hell.
With my latest Mass Effect fan-fic nearing completion and my next big project on the horizon (not to mention the season 1 finale of Legend of Korra coming tomorrow) I figure now is as good a time as any to add some more updates, albeit ones that are mostly info about my personal tastes concerning certain fandoms. First, the kind of Shepards I enjoy seeing, and the ones I hate seeing:
Shepards I like:
Male Sheps who romance Miranda Lawson
Female Sheps who romance someone other then Garrus
Paragades, though I do enjoy Paragons...for the most part.
Shepards who aren't mindlessly anti-Cerberus
Shepards who hate the Council
Shepards who are pro-human but not anti-alien (and no, the two things are not the same)
Shepards who treat the Genophage like the morally gray issue it is.
Shepards that I dislike/bore me:
Male Sheps who romance Tali, Ashley, or Liara
Female Sheps who romance Garrus
Renegades (Not a fan of trigger-happy, bloodthirsty misanthropes). I MAY enjoy "Renegons" if done right.
Shepards who are mindlessly anti-Cerberus, devote every waking minute of the day to hating Cerberus and just generally treat Cerberus like the Anti-Christ. Basically, if its a Shepard who hates Cerberus about as much as Jack does, then I'm bored.
Shepards who believe that the other alien races should step all over humans and that humans should just bend over backwards
Shepards who have a "hating Genophage=good, supporting Genophage=evil" mentality. Its not that simple until 3, and even then it may still be gray depending on your choices.
And now for some of my favorite couples in fiction:
Batman/Catwoman, Spider-Man/Black Cat, Luke Skywalker/Mara Jade, Han Solo/Leia, Male Shepard/Miranda Lawson, Female Shepard/Thane Krios, Garrus/Tali, Aragorn/Arwen, Cyclops/Emma Frost, Iceman/Rogue, Nightcrawler/Scarlet Witch, Angel/Psylocke, Green Arrow/Black Canary, Sokka/Suki, Zuko/Mai, Jet/June, Mako/Asami Sato, Daredevil/Elektra or Black Widow (either one works), Batwoman/Renee Montoya, Dick Grayson/Zatanna and Kid Flash/Artemis (Young Justice Only), Batman/Wonder Woman (DCAU only), and Jason Todd/Huntress (they really would be perfect for one another, though I also support Jason Todd/Donna Troy and Huntress/Question)
Couples I despise and/or am bored by: Male Shepard/Ashley Williams, Male Shepard/Tali (I like Tali, just not that way), Female Shepard/Garrus (same), Zuko/Katara, Mako/Korra, Gambit/Rogue, Malfoy/Hermione, Superboy/Miss Martian, and Superboy/Wondergirl
Well, apparently, its Doomsday (or not since the MAYANS DID NOT PREDICT THAT THE WORLD WOULD END IN 2012). I must say from where I am in Florida Earth's last day is looking pretty nice and sunny. If your gonna go go pleasantly right?
Anyway, I decided on another review of my writing projects so far:
LoK: The Azure Edition-Book 1 is in-progress. I'm working on Chapter 14 and intend to have it uploaded before Winter Break's end. I already have the rest of Book 1 mapped out and have got many concrete plans and ideas for what will be happening in my Book 2 (Metal and Wood) and Book 3 (Spirits).
1. Mass Effect-I plan to do at least one more ME Fan-Fic "A Crimson Vengeance" that will show what my Shepard was doing instead of the Arrival DLC (and no, I didn't play the Arrival DLC). I may also be doing one or two other fan-fics, but I'm not sure yet. In any event they're low on my priority list. And as one could guess from reading my whole profile, I don't always follow through with planned projects.
2. Assassins Creed-I fully intend to do two more AC fan-fics as well as a crossover that I'm somewhat surprised no one else has thought to do before. In fact I may just be doing that one first, but I can't say for sure.
3. Earth 763-Ah, Earth 763. My pride and joy. I fully intend to do more stories set in my own personal Marvel Universe, but I'm saving them for the summer. I will do two more stories for Spider-Man as well as three stories for the X-Men and one for Daredevil. Yeah. Lot of work. That's kind of why I'm saving it.
So in the end the concrete parts of my writing schedule's looking something like this:
Winter Break-Finish Chapter 14 of Lok: The Azure Edition
Before Summer, and hopefully before April-Finish Book 1 of LoK: The Azure Edition.
April to June-At least start LoK: The Azure Edition Book 2.
Summer-Finish LoK: The Azure Edition Book 2 and start my sequel to Spider-Man: Downfall.
September-Finish Spider-Man: Downfall sequel
Everything else I plan to do at any time I can squeeze them in, which may not be for a while.
And now for a dour rant (WARNING: THIS IS AN OPINIONATED RANT. IF YOU DON'T LIKE THOSE (and honestly I can't say I blame you) TURN BACK NOW.
By now we've all heard of the barbaric atrocity at Sandy Hook Elementary School. A twisted maniac committed mass murder before killing himself. I don't mind the second part personally, its the former that I find appalling. 26 dead equals one of the absolute worst mass shootings in the USA's history. And mere months after the atrocity at Aurora Colorado. And that's what kills me. Its so soon after another mass-shooting.
Of course this had once again reopened the whole "gun control" debate. I'm not going to talk about that because there is little to be said there that is not already being said. No, I'm going to talk about something else that drives me berserk when tragedies like this happen (WARNING: THIS IS THE OPINIONATED RANT):
Every single time something like this happens, people always, always, ALWAYS pins the blame on the video games. On the movies. On Hollywood. And it pisses me off. I am sick and tired of the fiction being blamed the violent and perverse actions of real-life maniacs. The Video Games are not the cause. Hollywood is not the cause. Why? Three Words: Law. Of. Averages.
How big is the Call of Duty community? How about the Halo community? Millions upon millions of people play these violent shooters. Millions of people watched and enjoyed the Dark Knight movie, no small part because of the late and great Heath Ledger's amazing performance. And you know what? Millions of people aren't gunning down innocent kids. Its not even 1%. It is a few scattered psychopaths who were ALREADY damaged to begin with. How about D@D? Because ever since a boy committed suicide and his D@D stuff was found inside his house everyone was ready to crucify Gary Gygax. And yet millions play D@D and most of them are probably just as appalled by what happened recently as anybody else. And that one boy who committed suicide? He had a TON of personal problems in his life, including failing at school, getting no respect, and having arguments with his parents frequently. That sounds like your typical troubled kid. Why the hell is a board game being blamed when suicides among D@D players are no more common then suicides among anybody else. Suicide is a leading cause of death. D@D doesn't do a damn thing to affect that one way or the other.
Its the same with Video Games. Many of the most violent video games have the largest gaming communities, and yet, you don't see millions of people killing innocent people. Columbine? So what if they said it would be "just like f--ing Doom?" They were sick men, and at least one of them was a confirmed sociopath (which incidentally means he would have inevitably done something to hurt or kill someone else. That is just how a sociopath acts).
But now, ONCE AGAIN after a mass shooting we are ONCE AGAIN unfairly pinning the blame on the Video Games. On the Movies. On the Comic Books. And it is nothing short of irredeemably stupid. Video Game industries have come under scrutiny before, and you know what? No hard link has been found between video games and the actions of real-life psychos. None. So we are wasting our time trying again and continuing to demonize and vilify game designers. And it makes me angry. I love my fiction. And I love violent fiction, but not because I'm a psycho, but because I like the action and the conflict. Its interesting. And I am to relinquish these things because of the actions of one sociopath who we don't even know the motives of? Am I to have to indulge in Strawberry Shortcake because fictional violence is bad?
It seems to me that we as a society have become so overly politically correct that we don't even have the spine to say that he murdered those children not because a video game told him to but because he was a fundamentally sick and evil man. We can't say "he did it because he was a psychopath or insane", no, we immediately act like he would have grown up to be a saintly figure of virtue had it not been for those video games he was playing. Its ridiculous. He, and the monstrous madmen like him do these things because they are sick-minded, and until we grow a back-bone and admit that, we'll just continue to unfairly blame the fiction. Sad. So, so very sad. We can't even say someone was a sick person when the evidence is so clearly presented before us. Instead we just act like a video game is the root of all evil.
Well, once the next batch of tests prove to be just as inconclusive as the last dozens of tests that were run I hope at least some people grow a brain and see it for what it is. That the atrocities we've been hit with over the last year alone are the product of sick and evil men, and not video games and Hollywood.
Time for a new update. First one of 2013 too.
First off, I may be marking my older fan-fictions as such, since I don't want people thinking that those are of the same quality some of my more recent ones are at. I'm proud of those fan-fictions, but many of them are not quite on the same standards are. The only reason I'm hesitating is because I don't want to drive potential readers away.
Second order of business is to take stock of my current writing projects. With April approaching, the second Book of LoK will soon be out, which means I'll be continuing my Azure Edition novelization/re-write. I also intend to continue and finish "An Angel's Tale". "The Hammer and the Rings" is going on hiatus for a couple reasons: 1: I have new projects I want to work on, 2: My well of creativity for that one has temporarily dried up, and 3: When someone drops an F-bomb (and at the beginning of the review no less) that should be a major warning sign that its probably time to put that one to bed for the time being. So that's what I'm doing. My Lord of the Rings Crossover is also going on hiatus as I've hit a roadblock with that one too and again, I have other projects I'd like to work on. Hopefully I can continue both crossovers eventually, but its not going to be for a while. Ah well.
Thirdly, I think I may be trying my hand at a few more one-shots in the future to take a break from the multi-chapter projects. That way I don't have to commit myself to anything long-term for a while and risk having to put it on hiatus later. I just gotta get some ideas...
That's everything for now. Thanks to everyone who's read my stories and enjoyed them!
How to write a review
This is something I've been meaning to get around to for a while, and as I have nothing better to do currently, here is my own personal ideas on how to write reviews, complete with examples. Let's start with the first belief of mine...
1. Reviews should be detailed
I can't even begin to count how many "good story please continue" type reviews I've gotten. While I sincerely appreciate that my work is enjoyed, such reviews to me can't even really be called reviews. They're more like comments. While positive comments aren't bad, I would rather a person go into just a little more detail on what they liked specifically. Note that this does not have to entail a 1,000 word piece. Just a little mention of a specific thing or two is preferable to "good story, please continue" and should always be done if possible. Examples of decent detailed reviews would be these:
A good solid start to your story. We're got the fundamentals of your version of Marveldom. A couple twists in the origins story, but that makes it fresh and new. Like that you are sticking to the characters' basic personalities from the original series. Looking forward to more!
-Taken from An Angel's Tale
Now while not overflowing with detail this is still good because it does point out specifics to a degree. That alone is far preferable to generic praise and condemnation.
Another example, this one a review I wrote where I point out things I particularly enjoyed about the piece:
This is...I must say, this is one of the absolute best fan-fictions I have ever read. Simple as that. The characterization is perfect, the tension is well-done, and there are some parts of this that are quite frankly literary gold, not the least of which would be Grunt's fight with a baby Xenomorph, among others. Simply brilliant. I enjoyed this every step of the way.
You know, I was actually afraid that Miranda and Garrus were both going to die, and I was very pleasantly surprised that they both survived. That's another strong point to the story.
-Taken from Flickers in the Dark by ROBOTURBOT5000
One more example:
Definitely an interesting crossover. I had contemplated writing something similar- albeit in reverse- but it seems that you've beaten me to the punch. Well played, and well-written as well. A few typos and awkward sentences here and there, but the overall narration was smooth. It'd be interesting to see if this goes any further.
-Taken from Twin Skulls
Once again specifics are given, this time in terms of what could have been better, namely the typos and awkward sentences. Granted, it would be good to know which sentences specifically were awkward, but this is still better than generic praise or condemnation, especially since it can prompt a second look at the story from the author and allow them to spot the errors on their own. On that note...
2. Constructive Criticism balanced with praise is best
Here's the thing: praise is easy to take, but hard to give, and criticism is fun to give, but hard to take. How do you do proper criticism? Where does being helpful end and being cruel begin? Let's look at some examples:
This story is such a clusterfuck.
First you state that eldrad met fulgrim. Then you later state that later on in the story humanity makes first contact with aliens.
Can you see... how that makes no sense at all.
-Taken from the story "The Hammer and the Rings"
Let's see where our friend here went wrong. For starters, there's the opening: dropping an f-bomb at the very beginning of the review is a poor way to go about things as it comes off as needlessly hostile, does absolutely nothing to tell the writer what he/she did wrong, and quite frankly just comes off as crass.
What follows DOES point out a criticism, which is good, but it is rude and condescending. A better way to word would have been like this:
The problem here is that you said that Eldrad met Fulgrim, who is a Primarch, yet you say later that this is humanity's first contact with alien life.
As opposed to the above, this says what was done wrong in a neutral tone, allowing the writer to see where he/she went wrong and be able to correct as needed without the unnecessary hostility and rudeness. Better no?
Here's an example of a good review:
This story is fantastic and the way the Mass Effect series should have ended. I like that you used some of the lines from the game itself. It gives it an authentic feel and plus I can pull up the scene from YouTube and hear Martin Sheen do his thing. Oh nice twist with Kei Lang. Definitely didn't see that coming. I didn't have a problem with the story, but there were a few grammatical and capitalization mistakes. Thank you for writing this. I gives me a bit of closure. Good luck with your future writing projects and all the best to you.
I'll list the mistakes if you want to change them:
1. When the Illusive Man says, "Especially concerning your...relationship with miss Lawson", miss should be capitalized.
2. After destroying the Reapers, in the line "If Jack had had to see her students be vaporized or die to save them" take off one of the "hads".
3. I don't if this was a typo or you didn't want to type out the word, but there is another in the line, "Or would you rather they all just bow down and worship you like a G-d?" I believe it should be God unless it was intentionally typed like that.
4. Last is in the 2 years later when Shepard says, "Miss Shepard". I believe it should Mrs. unless Shepard is just toying with Miranda.
-Taken from the story "Paragon's End"
Now a few things to notice here: praise is given, but more importantly, the criticism is given matter-of-factly and with civility and politeness. That is how you do it. In giving the criticisms in a non-hostile tone and making clear that there is no malicious intent (also helpful) this makes the reader more inclined to accept the advice given, whereas condemning the story as a "clusterfuck" is going to come off as offensive and make the reader disinclined to accept the advice. Basically, make your criticism sound helpful rather than hostile. On that note...
3. Rudeness is not cool
This continues from what I've already said, but I'll go into greater detail here. While criticism when given correctly is valid and also kind of necessary if a writer is to improve, something like this is not:
What are you doing right? You can spell, paragraph and write in correct sentences. So can a large number of 12 year olds. So can everyone whose writing I'd even bother to read.
This is straight up cruel, not to mention arrogant. Dismissing a person's hard work as utter garbage no better than what any kid can do is incredibly insulting and patronizing. Now of course, the big dilemma is: what if a story actually IS that bad? What do you do then? Well, I personally believe that almost no story is this awful. There is usually SOMETHING the story has going for it. This doesn't necessarily have to be prose either. A lot of fan-fics I've seen on this site have excellent IDEAS just not good execution. But that right there is still a positive and should be acknowledged as such. Again, pointing out the good things balanced out with constructive criticism (versus cruel dismissal like above) is always the best way to go. It allows a reader to simultaneously see what they're doing right (incidentally telling them that they have potential) and also to see what they could and should work on. You get the best of both worlds.
That's everything. Hope you enjoyed my advice on how to write a good review. I may add more examples later.
Has it really been over a year since my last profile update? Wow. Time does fly, not that it's always felt that way. That's okay though. I like it when life feels nice and long.
Anyway, with 2014 drawing to a close, I decided to take the time to look back on not just this year, but on the entirety of my four years on this site. I first joined on the tail end of 2010, December 31st to be exact. And in the four years I've been here, I've had my successes and blunders, and also I feel really improved drastically over the course of that time as a writer. So with that in mind, let's take a stroll down memory lane as I celebrate my 4th Anniversary here a few days early...
The Good-The Stuff I'm proud of:
I feel that every writer should take the time to look back and see what they did right, not just the stuff they got wrong. For me, I still regard certain fan-fictions as being among my better works, and they are the ones I am most acutely proud of. They are...
The Not-So-Good-The Stuff I wish had gone differently:
I'm going to preface this one by confessing that when I make plans for the future here, I don't always follow through with them, which I do know reflects very poorly on me as a person. But nevertheless, I'm going to list out here my planned writing projects for the future, and pray that I get at least some of them done:
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