pigeonattack
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Joined 01-07-11, id: 2692267, Profile Updated: 05-29-14
Author has written 9 stories for H.I.V.E..

Want to read some stuff of mine that hasn't yet hit ff? Most of my stuff is posted at pigeonattack.com before it gets here. Subscribeif you like what you see (or just happen to be one of those people who have to be the first to read something…) ;D

Here's a direct link to the Burnt Corners page (with a teaser First Chapter to [try to] get you hooked): http://www.pigeonattack.com/burnt-corners.html

Annnd a link to "Chat, Advertising, and World Domination": http://www.fanfiction.net/myforums/pigeonattack/2692267/


Yo.

I'm pidge.

Art is my life. Writing is my release. Knitting is my great excuse to carry around lethal weapons, while at the same time making snuggly items of love.

Paper is magic. Graphite is my birthstone, in a different crystalline build.

Whiteboards were made to be vandalized.

That's all you need to know, but if you're interested...


Asian by blood, American by birth, fifteen years of age. Stalkers and identity thieves, just try hunting me down. There are probably only, like, several hundred million people who fit those descriptions.

Then again, I gotta say I'm pretty unique.

I have nine ways to break your arm and/or knock you unconscious under ten seconds, and a bajillion ways to make you beg for unconsciousness.

People've called me:

-pidge

-pigeon

-pigeonattack

-pigeonmeister (courtesy of WestOfTheMoonbeam- dear, you rock)

-pidgey

All with a lowercase p.

Equality of letters and all.

Ask e.e.cummings.

:D


I’m sure you’re pondering my choice of penname.

Pigeons are mad gangsta. They go where they want. Eat what they want. Vandalize *cough, cough* whatever they feel like vandalizing. You can chase ‘em away, but they’ll always come back. We humans think we run the city, but it’s these winged street fighters that really rule the urbs.

Pigeons are also wickedly determined. Most of the animals that received the Dickin Medal for incredible military service (the animal equivalent for the Victoria Cross) are pigeons. They’ve saved thousands of lives by their refusal to give up delivering a crucial message. (One pigeon saved an entire town by letting the Allied forces know that they really shouldn’t bomb a city already captured by other Allied forces. Another was sent by some troops being barraged by their own team. He was shot near the heart and in the wing, and one of his legs was hanging by a single tendon. Little things like that.) Pigeons pwn.

Don’t pick a fight with a pigeon. Ever.


Wanna know what I like to write?

-Humor (ahaha... not sure how good I am at it, though...)

-Romance (the fuzzy and angsty kinds... mmm)

-Crack (which gets out of control in my hands, and I never really post, unless I sneak it into some story or another)

Wanna know what I like to read?

-Humor

-Romance

-Crack (especially when it gets out of control)

I'm extremely critical, and the above criteria aren't by any means the only things I judge a fic by. It's a little complicated to explain, and it takes a lot to make it to my favorites list.


Are you here 'cause you're wondering why I flamed you? These are the things you might have done to tick me off.

Your grammar sucked. Seriously, reading bad grammer feels more unpleasant to me than drinking Robitussin. I hate it. It’s painful, and doesn’t do justice to the characters or readers. If you have any respect for fanfiction.net and its users, please take the extra few minutes to check over your grammer. Or better yet, get a beta. (That rhymes!)

You wrote in your summary something along the lines of “summary sucks. just read it.” Why use that summary if you know it sucks? Usually the summary is what entices me to read a fic, so if you want readers, take a few minutes to write a decent one. They’re not that hard. If you can’t write a summary, I’m willing to bet you can’t write an entire fic, either.

You had the nerve to put in "be nice i'm only eleven" or something along those lines. Eleven year olds aren't even supposed have fanfiction accounts. If you're eleven and offended, complain to fanfiction.net. I didn't make that rule.

Your characters are OOC. I understand and agree that it can sometimes be difficult to keep characters in-character. That's no excuse. Please, for the sake of everyone's sanity, don't make characters OOC.

You've invented a whole new style of punctuation. This is something that really drives me nuts. Punctuation and the rules of dialogue are elementary. If you throw in commas where commas really don't belong, forget them where you really need them, and things like that... I mean, come on. Really, now? When you're thirteen or above? To avoid flames from yours truly, read your fanfic aloud before publishing it, giving commas half a pause, periods a full pause, etc. Does this sound familiar? Y'all did it in first grade, people.

A tiny percentage of fanfics have none of those errors. I consider them golden. However, make one of those mistakes, and the gold turns to charcoal. And I flame it. Yay for metaphors!

NOTE:

Everyone's probably gotten even more bored and left my pathetic little profile by this time, but I'll say it anyways.

While it's true that I leave lots of nasty stuff lying around (stuff like flames, not stuff stuff) anyone who PMs me with a little "Hi!" or "I accept your flame" automatically goes on my mental "awesome people" list. I'll answer any questions you have for me, and I'll be happy to offer tidbits of advice. Amid the crap heap of Mary-Sue authors, I know there are some incredible, aspiring writers, many of whom just need a coaxing in the right direction. Many of whom won't respond to that coaxing and force me to lift 'em by the belt and drop-kick 'em off to where they should be. Many of need someone to set fire to their pants before they get movin'.

Ahem.

I've had the privelige of meeting and coresponding with some of the greatest writers fanfiction.net has to offer, whom I'll not deign to mention as not to offend those unmentioned. Anyone I flame, it's 'cause I want them to improve.


Ships I sail:

Harry Potter:

All in cannon, plus some...others that I can't mention, for familial reasons.

Percy Jackson

Also all in-cannon. I especially love Chrisse. It's adorable. FF.net currently has no good Chrisse fanfiction, and maybe one or two Percabeths. PM me if you beg to differ.

H.I.V.E.

See my ficlets. Ottra, Wingelby, duhduhduh

Teen Titans

I wuv this TV series. Everything Robin does and says is so cliche, but I couldn't care less.

RobinxStarfire- YIPPEEEE!!!

BBRae- Mmmm...

Mysterious Benedict Society

Nada. They're friends. That's it. To those shippers who keep trying to pair up Kate and Reynie, three words. Eat. My. Pants.

Artemis Fowl

Nil. I don't like Minerva, and Holly was still more mature than Artemis when he aged and she got younger in the time tunnel(book 6). Sue me.

Hetalia

ManymanyMANY

Pokemon Special/Adventures

Oh, gods, this manga is so good so good so good...

Special (Red and Yellow) cutecutecute

Chosen (Blue and Sivler) oh, the beautiful angst

Psycho (Sabrina and Red) hee hee... jkjk


Fanart inspired-by/for my fanfiction

http://invader13panda.deviantart.com/#/d4ni96m

http://invader13panda.deviantart.com/#/d4ni9rn


Um, enjoy my fics. Please review. It makes me very happy. And when I'm happy, I write more.

Luvya!

;)pidge

HEY THERE AWESOME. YEAH, YOU. I WANT THE WORLD TO HEAR ME SCREAM IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS AND THE ROOF OF MY MOUTH BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW THAT'S WHERE THE VOCAL CHORDS ARE.

Let me systematically address the things to be addressed.

Your expert insight on the relations between Nero and Raven is spot on as always.

Your expert insight on the relations between Wing and Otto are almost spot on. You just spelled WFOM incorrectly.

Your expert insight on the relations between Laura and Otto is spot on as always, which is why we have FANON!

Your expert insight on the relations between Shelby and Otto is spot on as always.

Your expert insight on the relations within the HP verse are spot on as always.

Your expert oversight of HoH is admirable and dangerous. Yours is an unpopular opinion.

Your sentiments on the relations between Tamaki and Kyouya are consonant as always.

I agree that Kaoru is supehhhr cool but Hikaru is a booby. (Hey there, kids! I refer of course to the eastern Pacific seabird.)

Your sentiments on Haruhi YEAH YOU DA BOM LADY.

Regarding your sentiments on Free!, I refer you to this page.

Your sentiments on DN are consonant as always and I will never get over it no no no it's been over a year and this cow is not getting over the moon.

I look forward to enjoying CCS and Bartimaeus. I also look forward to enjoying Bartimaeus' trilogy.

The awards given out... I was eating yogurt the whole time storming all over the house. Why do you do this, man? Everything is suddenly so raw and new again. It kills me like a wrecking ball. You didn't miss anyone.

Your argument on shipping wars is skewed. I think they're hilarious. Nothing like such a happy slugfest, in the words of Ares, and as an Aries, I must say I agree! Also, you have never been bludgeoned to death. There is a discrepancy in your Boolean algebra. You say that line but i know you better than that. Hey watcha doin' with a line like that.

Regarding orders: dangit, girl, you keep misspelling things! Except you didn't misspell M&M, except in spirit. Know what I sayabout your candy argument?

So other than that, I think we're in agreement and can continue our cordial friendship. Yay!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Troll by I'mTheGirlWhoLearnedToFly reviews
Headcanon #57: As a reward for getting As in their 2nd Year Science and Technology exam, Professor Pike said that the Alpha class could come up with a prank that he would take part in. This is how he wound up running into the dining hall, screaming "Troll in the dungeon!" before collapsing in front of Dr Nero.
H.I.V.E. - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,443 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/19/2013 - Maximilian N., Theodore P. - Complete
Irvine's a cool name by I'mTheGirlWhoLearnedToFly reviews
It's the Big Day, and Clo's all chill...but Fred is crying over his lilies, Lucas is memorising the guest list, Miss Britta is trying to remember if she turned off the sprinklers (and the lasers), Miss Haley is keeping Alex from stealing all the food (well, trying to, anyway), and Alex is...practising his Serious Voice? Welcome to the fiasco that is the Irvine-Irvine wedding.
Burnt Corners - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,579 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/13/2013 - Clo K./I., Lucas I., Alex P. - Complete
Waking Wing, Hindi Translation by I'mTheGirlWhoLearnedToFly reviews
Hindi translation of pigeonattack's Waking Wing by yours truly, 'cause we HIVE megaminds are cool that way... "Otto bribes H.I.V.E.mind into helping him wake up Wing. Of course, being Otto, this is rather more interesting than the title would imply."
H.I.V.E. - Rated: T - Hindi - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 824 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/4/2013 - Otto M., H.I.V.E.mind - Complete
Who Watches the Watchmen? by WestOfTheMoonbeam reviews
Have you ever wondered why you never hear about the dastardly deeds of HIVE? It's all hidden by a very special and elusive organisation... WARNING: May contain traces of Ottra/Wingelby. OC also
H.I.V.E. - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,133 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 4/13/2012 - Published: 11/24/2011 - Otto M., Maximilian N.
This Would Be Much Easier If He Wasn't a Ninja by Abstract Cupcake reviews
The course of true love never did run smooth... and especially not at H.I.V.E. Add an electric eel, x-ray glasses, a new member of the water polo team, several types of doom rays, and a MMORPG. Hilarity, mayhem, and GIANT SPACE ROBOTS ensue. Shelby/Wing
H.I.V.E. - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,143 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 6/2/2011 - Published: 11/29/2010 - Shelby T., Wing F.
Hippogriffs: not for hugging by flyin'rabbit reviews
Draco Malfoy is still 'suffering' from a 'hurting arm' when Luna Lovegood comes along and completely misinterprets what happened to him.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 833 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/25/2011 - Draco M., Luna L. - Complete
The Eight Personalities of Misty by Pokapoka reviews
Ash decides to write a passage in his journal about Misty and all of her crazy moods. AAML. Rated T for minor swearing.
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,091 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/1/2011 - Ash K./Satoshi, Misty/Kasumi - Complete
Of Mice And Snakes by ArmedWithAPen reviews
When a late-night thunderstorm forces Captain Holly Short to call on her inner story-teller, she wishes she'd paid better attention in Human Fairy Tale class. Now, she has to make one up on her own. Artemis/Holly.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,329 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 12 - Published: 7/21/2010 - Artemis F., Holly S. - Complete
Mostly Harmless by Virgo Writer reviews
Ash discovers that the Pokedex isn't just good for identifying Pokemon. Mildly Pokeshippy.
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 988 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 11 - Published: 7/18/2010 - Ash K./Satoshi, Misty/Kasumi - Complete
He Doesn't Seem Like A Malfoy by KitKat-Pyrophobia reviews
He followed the bobbing red ponytail to, predictably enough, the library. A look Rose at Scorpius's seven years at Hogwarts. Rose/Scorpius oneshot
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 16,195 - Reviews: 202 - Favs: 419 - Follows: 38 - Published: 1/1/2010 - Rose W., Scorpius M. - Complete
The SUPERmarket by Freyja SilverWillow reviews
The cupboard is bare, so the Titans face their most trying battle yet: the supermarket. Will they come out alive, or will Starfire's curiosity and Beast Boy's love of tofu doom them all?
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 17,667 - Reviews: 181 - Favs: 209 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 10/5/2004 - Published: 9/9/2004 - Starfire, Robin - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Fanmail reviews
They're being held at Studio 254, known to be quite possibly the most terrifying environment in the world- if one happens to land on their host's hit list. Their every answer is monitored and transcripted. Ask at your own risk.
H.I.V.E. - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 44,886 - Reviews: 221 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 1/18/2014 - Published: 3/1/2012
Les Amants de la Nuit reviews
Some boarding school rules were made to be broken. AU
H.I.V.E. - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,911 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 2/14/2012 - Published: 2/10/2012 - Complete
Pento Bento! reviews
Tea. Halloween. Balloons. Dieting- or lack thereof. Txt chat. Conveniently packaged as five totally unrelated one shots. -No refunds or exchanges. Manufacturer is not responsible for addiction.-
H.I.V.E. - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,398 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 1/27/2012 - Published: 10/9/2011 - Complete
Once Upon a Pigeon's Prom reviews
Ah, prom. Shelby deems it a miracle. Laura says it's a disaster. Nigel declares a state of emergency. For Otto, it's amusement. For Wing, it's confusion. For Franz, it's a pot of gold. Alas for poor Nero, who has no idea what he's gotten himself into.
H.I.V.E. - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 16,047 - Reviews: 230 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 9/10/2011 - Published: 3/30/2011 - Complete
Waking Wing reviews
Otto bribes H.I.V.E.mind into helping him wake up Wing. Of course, being Otto, this is rather more interesting than the title would imply. Spoofed the title on Mark Walden's "Taking Wing". Recently revised
H.I.V.E. - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 492 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 5 - Published: 2/6/2011 - Otto M., H.I.V.E.mind - Complete
Love, Romance, and Relativity reviews
Are love and romance the same thing? Does the crazy guy kill the relativistic snake? Will Wing ever get special relativity? Everyone has so many questions in the promised final one-shot before I close my poll.
H.I.V.E. - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 790 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/2/2011 - Laura B., Shelby T. - Complete
Of Tongues and Tongs reviews
Shelby abruptly tunes into a discussion and gets slightly mixed-up. Her mind runs on...
H.I.V.E. - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 702 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/24/2011 - Wing F. - Complete
Bug reviews
A short little drabble, involving shuriken, bo staffs, and some popcorn. And a bug. One hundred perent spoiler-free.
H.I.V.E. - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 859 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/18/2011 - Wing F., Shelby T. - Complete
Welded reviews
Uh oh. SOMEONE has PROCRASTINATED. Usually, this is a very bad thing. This time, however...
H.I.V.E. - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,354 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/17/2011 - Otto M., Laura B. - Complete