wordybirdy
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Joined 01-07-11, id: 2692476, Profile Updated: 06-24-14
Author has written 45 stories for Sherlock, and Sherlock Holmes.

Bringing ludicrous Sherlock Holmes fan fiction to you, straight from the bowels of somewhere, since 2011.

I've been a Sherlock Holmes devotee since I was a kid. Now I'm old and wizened, but I'm still a big kid. Jeremy Brett is my favourite Holmes. Basil Rathbone is also quite remarkable.

I write two very different variants of the Sherlock Holmes character. There is Silly-Holmes, who appears in all of my Gen rated fics and who is a humorous parody. And then there is Canon-Holmes, who features in the M/M rated fics and should be considered closer to pastiche. In other words: Silly-Holmes is CRACKERS, whereas Canon-Holmes is altogether more of a sensible fellow. As sensible as my writing ever gets, of course. They are not the same chap. Never the twain shall meet. Events or character traits from a Canon fic never cross over into a Silly fic, or vice versa.

I'm queer and I hate labels. Having said that, I hold a special place in my heart for Buster Keaton. He doesn't mind.


Update: Mostly posting at AO3, which is where my M(A) rated fics now solely reside alongside my Gen and T rated. For any and all future new fics, that's the place to head. Otherwise, feel free to remain here for strictly Gen rated fics. :)

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Remembering Sherlock Holmes reviews
It is 1895, and Holmes dares to wonder how he might be remembered over one hundred years from now. Watson proffers his humble opinion.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,117 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Published: 1/30/2014 - Dr. Watson, Sherlock Holmes - Complete
Tickety-Boo reviews
Watson is convinced that there is something Holmes is not telling him. Holmes does his best to evade the matter.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,378 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Published: 1/23/2014 - Dr. Watson, Sherlock Holmes - Complete
Where There's a Cat reviews
"What is it?" he enquired at last. "For heaven's sake, my dear fellow. It is clearly an ashtray." "It has a woman stuck to it." It is 1881, and Holmes and Watson attempt to grow used to each other's foibles.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,664 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Published: 6/20/2013 - Dr. Watson, Sherlock Holmes - Complete
Cabin 23, The Calais-Douvres reviews
A return channel crossing from Calais, with romantic revelations. "Six months, nine months, I cannot recall, before the either of us said anything about it, I could not help just what I did. At night, I thought of you."
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,744 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 12 - Published: 6/15/2013 - Dr. Watson, Sherlock Holmes - Complete
A Representative Pin reviews
Being the tale of Mathews; a very naughty man. Holmes shivers and shudders at the memory, while Watson finally puts pen down to paper.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,594 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/26/2013 - Dr. Watson, Sherlock Holmes - Complete
Brother Confidant reviews
Being the tale of what occurred when Sherlock Holmes came out to brother Mycroft in the March of 1886. A Canon-Holmes story. SH/JW.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,713 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 13 - Published: 12/31/2012 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
Early Days reviews
Very little has been recorded from that first year of meeting: 1881. Watson redresses the balance, while obsessing a fraction more than greatly. Unrequited love SH/JW. Nothing graphic. Canon-H, as opposed to Silly-H which is a whole other universe.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,901 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/19/2012 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
Hooray! for Madame Ting Ting reviews
Holmes crosses a gypsy fortune-teller's palm with silver, and finds himself with an exciting future.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,647 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/30/2012 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
A Little Prick reviews
Holmes decides that Watson will be the ideal vessel for his latest experiment. As secrets and truths are reluctantly spilled, Watson prays fervently for an antidote.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,395 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/24/2012 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
Wine, Watson and Song reviews
The dusty bottle of Montrachet started it all. Holmes lets his hair down; Watson assesses the damage.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,480 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/19/2012 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
A Desiccated Follower of Fashion reviews
Holmes discovers the wonderful world of colour. To this end, Watson realises that he still knows very little about his friend's secret sock drawer.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,705 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/8/2012 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
Pickle in the Pocket reviews
Holmes meets the Napoleon of Crime and succeeds in driving him to tears. A pickle is a useful tool to have in an emergency.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,543 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/14/2012 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
Pretty Boy reviews
Holmes & Watson agree to look after Mrs. Hudson's Percy for one week. Will all four emerge unscathed from the experience?
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,534 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/30/2012 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
Tickle reviews
Holmes and Watson explore their vulnerabilities.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,350 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/12/2012 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
Left Turn No Turn Right Turn Stop reviews
Holmes learns to drive a dog-cart. London evacuates en masse.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,919 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/5/2012 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
Meeting Mr Holmes reviews
Watson documents how he first came to meet the extraordinary Sherlock Holmes. It was all young Stamford's fault. Will be multi-chaptered!
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,047 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 5/1/2012 - Published: 4/19/2012 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
Microscopic reviews
Holmes is having trouble with his newsprint. Watson thinks he knows the reason why. Convincing his friend is quite another thing altogether.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,450 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/9/2012 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
The Puzzle reviews
Holmes finds himself utterly perplexed by an impromptu gift from Watson.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,714 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/12/2012 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
Feelings reviews
Holmes uses his violin to express his feelings. Watson ducks for cover.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,548 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/5/2012 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
In Case of Emergency reviews
Holmes discovers the perfect remedy for a bad day. To Watson's dismay, it involves him.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,529 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/2/2012 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
Waltzing & Wassailing reviews
Should Holmes and Watson accept Mycroft's invitation to his New Year's Eve celebrations? What reservations could Holmes possibly have?
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,054 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/27/2011 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
Tea for One reviews
Holmes finds himself in an awkward predicament. Watson secretly enjoys these moments.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,270 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/21/2011 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
Reinventing the Worm reviews
What happens when one coughing Consulting Detective is confined to bed, on Doctor's orders? THIS happens.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,464 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/16/2011 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
Jealousy is a Fruit Cake reviews
Holmes struggles with the concept of jealousy.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,723 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/9/2011 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
For Charity reviews
Watson does a noble thing for charity. Holmes is horrified.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,231 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 26 - Published: 12/5/2011 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
Snow Angels, A Christmas Triptych reviews
Featuring 3 variants of the Holmes & Watson pairing, each striving to celebrate the festive season in their own, unique way. Small, fluffy vignettes in Canon, Silly-Canon and BBC.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,819 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/1/2011 - Dr. Watson, Sherlock Holmes - Complete
The Female of the Species reviews
Holmes encounters the lady Irene Adler, and learns a very valuable lesson. Namely, that girls are weird.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,386 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 9 - Published: 10/20/2011 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
The Whistle in the Attic reviews
It is Halloween, and something has come between Watson and his food. Revenge is swift; it shows no mercy, and Holmes is terrified.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,061 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/11/2011 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
Mega Indeed reviews
Holmes discovers modern slang and begins to create his own, unique language. Watson struggles to keep up.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,231 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/20/2011 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
Picnicking in Pyjamas reviews
It's a special day, but Holmes shows a marked reluctance to celebrate. Mycroft indulges, and Watson wonders.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,847 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 15 - Published: 8/14/2011 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
Of Blades and Buttons reviews
Holmes reacquaints himself with the noble art of fencing.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,817 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 10 - Published: 8/9/2011 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
Kiss and Make Up reviews
Holmes's disguises alarm, allure and horrify in equal measure. Watson is left utterly confused.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,263 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/22/2011 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
Hair Today, Shorn Tomorrow reviews
Watson needs a haircut. Holmes offers to assist. How bad could it be? Oh dear.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,739 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/21/2011 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
Stakeout reviews
Holmes, Watson & Lestrade are on a stakeout. Enter one pack of playing cards and three hip flasks.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,362 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 20 - Published: 5/9/2011 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
The Inspection reviews
Mrs. Hudson is a landlady on a mission. Holmes & Watson look on in dismay.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,793 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/5/2011 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
Doctors and Nurses reviews
When Watson sprains his ankle, Holmes is there to look after him. Reluctantly.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,824 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/3/2011 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
Watercolours reviews
Watson discovers the joys of painting, then wonders why Holmes is behaving so oddly.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,901 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/1/2011 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
The Cake is a Pie reviews
It's Mrs. Hudson's birthday, and John has a fabulous idea. Sherlock hates the sound of it.
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,854 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/28/2011 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
An Odd Little Noise reviews
Watson is intrigued by the strange clinking sounds coming from Holmes's bedroom.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Mystery/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,779 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/27/2011 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
Ring Ring reviews
Holmes has a new toy. Lestrade has a headache.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,581 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 13 - Published: 4/25/2011 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
Perfume reviews
Watson's nose has a miserable morning. Holmes cannot understand what all the fuss is about.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,202 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 26 - Published: 4/23/2011 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
A Case of Twelve reviews
Holmes receives a gift of wine from a satisfied client. He and Watson embark on a wine-tasting session with revelations.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,265 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 14 - Published: 4/8/2011 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
Rainy Days & Board Games reviews
When it rains, it pours. Watson brings out the chess board, then rather wishes that he hadn't.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,217 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 21 - Published: 4/6/2011 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
The Birthday Present reviews
Brown paper packages tied up with string. Holmes tries his best, and Watson struggles bravely.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,328 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/5/2011 - Dr. Watson, Sherlock Holmes - Complete
A Few Bits of Old Plank reviews
John brings home a guitar. Sherlock is not impressed. It's got poncey sound holes.
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,340 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/4/2011 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete