Poll: Which one of my pairings for the Next Gen do you like the best? I might even write one if I find people really want it. ;D Note: I have Albus as an aromantic aexual in my head, so that will reflect in my stories. I also have Lysander is bi, Lucy as a lesbian, James as gay, and Alex as FTM transgender. Vote Now!
Author has written 24 stories for Harry Potter.
Gryffindor is bravery, nobility, and chivalry.
Hufflepuff is loyalty, patience, and hard work.
Ravenclaw is knowledge, cleverness, and intelligence.
Slytherin is cunning, ambition, and resourcefulness.
But sometimes you need to be loyal to be brave (or how else can you follow through with it?), you need to have knowledge to be noble (or how else can you know what is?), and you need to be cunning to chivalrous (or else are you going to know to use it?).
Sometimes you need to be brave to be loyal (or else are you going to be able to stick to it?), you need to have knowledge to be patience (or how else can you know to be?), and you need to be cunning to do be hardworking (or how else can you get through it?).
Sometimes you need to be brave to be find knowledge (or how else can you be sure you're right?), you need to be loyal to be clever (or how else can you use it to protect?), and you need to be cunning to be intelligence (or how else can you use it?).
Sometimes you need to be brave to be cunning (or how else can you risk the fact that you might fail?), you need to have loyal to be ambitious (or how else can you stick to your dreams?), and you need to have knowledge to be resourceful (or how else can you know when to be?).
Hi! My name's Haley and I'm a big fan of Harry Potter, as you can see and what I've written above was just something I did when I was bored, and I currently live somewhere in Midwest, near Chicago. You guess where, but I'm never going to tell you. I'm female, not going to tell you my age, just that I'm still in school, but not if I'm in high-school or college. I have dark blonde hair and blue eyes. I'm average height and I wear glasses. My avatar is James Potter, and it's by Linnpuzzle on deviantart. She's amazing as you can see.
I am remarkably lax in my pairings, though I do have one's that I prefer more than others. What I care about if the stories I'm reading fit my standards with plot, spelling, and grammar, rather than the pairing that I happen to like in the moment. I do draw the line at incest however if it's shown as perfectly fine. I can read it though if it's shown as sick and messed-up, and at least one person doesn't want to do it, but is forced to do by the other person or by someone close to them. And even then I don't really read it if that's the whole story unless it's a one-shot.
The one pairing that I can't stand anyone contradicting in Scorpius/Lily Luna. They only way I could stand contradiction is if I changed the parents pairing. And even then I must admit I find something appealing about Harry's son or daughter with Draco's son or daughter. (Provided it's not girl!Harry or girl!Draco and then it's just Draco and Harry's son or daughter.)
That reminds me. I can read all het pairings, but I can't read any incest or bestiality pairings. All slash or femmeslash I can read, excluding Harry slash. I don't know why, it's just some reason I can't see Harry as gay. Probably because the books are written in his point of view, so it me if Jo wanted him gay she would have made him (well, probably wouldn't have, but you get my point). I also don't like Harry/Ginny, George/Angelina, and Remus/Tonks and the only fics I can handle reading them in is if it's about their children, and the only one I could see lasting is Remus/Tonks. I think Harry/Ginny and George/Angelina would crash and burn eventually.
I do have my pairings "groups" though and here they are. (Bolded ones are the ones that unless in the specific group or are contradicted by one of my stories you should just take for granted that that's what they are in all my stories excluding the ones in Next Gen before Next Gen.) (Did that even make sense?)
Harry/Hermione, Draco/Ginny, Ron/Luna, Neville/Lavender, Bill/Tonks, Charlie/Katie, Percy/Fleur, George/Cho, Dudley/Pansy, Seamus/Parvati
Harry/Luna, Ron/Daphne, Draco/Pansy, Angelina/Ginny, Neville/Cho, Charlie/Hermione, Seamus/Dean
George/Hermione, Dean/Luna, Ron/Draco, Harry/Fleur, Neville/Pansy, Oliver/Ginny, Percy/Cho
Ron/Hermione, Seamus/Ginny, Harry/Luna, George/Lavender, Fred/Hannah, Neville/Daphne, Charlie/Tonks, Percy/Marietta
girl!Harry/Percy, Lavender/Pansy, Theodore/Ron, Draco/Hermione, Neville/Luna, Blaise/Ginny, Severus/Tonks, Charlie/Fleur, Dudley/Cho
Lily/Scorpius, Roxanne/Lysander, Dominique/Neville, Teddy/Victoire, Molly/Lorcan
Dominique/Teddy, Rose/Lorcan, James/Lysander
Lily/James, Remus/Sirius, Arthur/Molly, Lucius/Alice, Narcissa/Rodolphus, Severus/Marlene, Emmeline/Hestia, Regulus/Frank, Reginald/Mary
James/Regulus, Lily/Remus, Sirius/Dorcas
My favorite character would actually have to be a tie between James and Ron. Severus, Lucius, Remus, Regulus, Hermione, Harry, Neville, Luna, Cedric, George, Pansy, Lavender, Fleur, and Percy are not far behind, but not necessarily in the order. I hate bashing and have stopped reading many good stories because they crossed the line of making a character a butt monkey that they want you to feel sorry for into a person that they want you to hate. In fact, half the people on my favorite characters list are not from stories making them good, but too many making them bad. By that same level, I applauded people who help character's make a journey to become a better character so long as they make it believable and interesting. Though I must confess that for some reason I don't like Rose Weasley, though I try not to let that come across in my stories.
I see a few things different to canon such as birthdays, eye colors, and the shade of people’s hair that will be in my stories, but will not be the main thing about them, just that instead of hazel eyes, James has blue. In fact the full list is I see James is having blue eyes and Remus having hazel, Ron having brown and Ginny having blue, Hermione has gray and Percy has brown. Ron's hair is just a few shades darker than the rest of his family. As for birthdays, James is September 19, 1959, Percy's is March 27, 1976, and Hermione's is August 22, 1980. (I have the weirdest thing that I'm okay with Hermione being older than Draco or Ron or Neville, but I like Harry being older than her. I really don't know why.) I would appreciate it if you wouldn't stop reading my stories because of it, but I understand if you do.
I am going to admit something that might very possibly get me killed, but oh well. I like the fact that Fred died. I think it showed perfectly how war not only takes away the old and the morally ambiguous, but the twenty year, one month, one day old. It takes away the person that makes you smile and laugh, the person that makes you feel happy. Of course, I cried when Fred died, I'm not completely heartless, but I think it was good of Jo to kill him. I'm crying right now typing this. In all my stories though that make it to that year, Fred is going to die. I solemnly swear.
And that's pretty much everything about me and sorry for any spelling and grammar mistakes on this page as FanFiction.Net no longer as SpellCheck as far as I can see. My stories will be far better about those things than my home page is.
Oh, I also recommend this story, The Stolen Glasses Shenanigans, at. It probably one of the funniest fanfictions that I have ever read and it's James/Lily which is set in their Hogwarts years.
I promise to remember Harry,
when I'm in the lead,
I promise to remember Ron,
when I'm embarrased,
I promise to remember Hermione,
when I help somebody out,
I promise to remember Ginny,
when I'd do anything for love,
I promise to remember Draco,
when I meet a bully,
I promise to remember Goyle,
when I think someone's a troll,
I promise to remember Crabbe,
when someone's as dumb as a lamppost,
I promise to remember Neville,
when I'm a little nervous,
I promise to remember Luna,
when I see a Nargle,
I promise to remember Cho,
when I feel like crying,
I promise to remember Tonks,
when I feel hyper,
I promise to remember Remus,
when I feel ashamed,
I promise to remember Dumbledore,
when I feel betrayed,
I promise to remember George,
when I lose my best friend,
I promise to remember Fred,
whenever I laugh,
I promise to remember Arthur,
when I'm interested in something,
I promise to remember Voldemort,
when I blow things out of proportion,
I promise to remember Sirius,
whenever I need some dogs to play with,
I promise to remember the Marauders,
when I play with my friends,
I promise to remember Molly,
when I meet someone who's loyal,
I promise to remember Percy,
whenever I feel ambitious,
I promise to remember Oliver,
when I can't stop an obsession,
I promise to remember Charlie,
when I'm on holiday,
I promise to remember Bill,
when I don't care what others think,
I promise to remember Fleur,
when looks aren't everything,
I promise to remember Harry Potter,
wherever I go,
'Cos I'm a big fan,
and I hope that show
R.I.P: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks Lupin, Albus Dumbledore, Fred Weasley I, Colin Creevy, Cedric Diggory, Severus Snape, Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody, Dobby, Lily Evans Potter, James Potter I, Hedwig, and Ted Tonks.
Disclaimer: As I will forget over some of my stories, I own nothing besides the hundred dollars in my purse.
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted," Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.
Some Neville Love
-Neville needs a Remembrall not because he has a poor memory, but merely because he accomplishes too much to remember.
-Neville Longbottom doesn't bow to Hippogriffs. Hippogriffs bow to Neville Longbottom.
-Not to be outdone, after Mrs. Weasley took out Bellatrix, Neville brought her back to life and killed her again.
-Professor Quirrel didn't have to fake his stammer in Neville's presence.
-Neville became Head Boy AND Girl. No one dared comment.
-Neville Longbottom is what's beyond the veil.
-Before Neville punched it, it was known as Horizont Alley.
-Neville uses Nagini's blood as soy sauce.
-Muggles don't know about Lord Voldemort, but they do know about Neville Longbottom.
-Chuck Norris' Boggart is Neville Longbottom.
-Neville's Patronus is Neville, because nothing else is badass enough to represent him.
-Neville Longbottom is the reason that the Cauldron is Leaky.
-If someone replaced the Mirror of Erised with a picture of Neville Longbottom, no one would notice.
-Cho Chang wasn't crying because she missed Cedric. She was crying because she was with Harry, and not Neville.
-They said Dumbledore was the only man Voldemort was afraid of. They lied.
-They were going to release a Neville Longbottom edition of clue but the answer always turned out to be "Neville Longbottom, in the courtyard with a sword."
-Neville Longbottom created the Department of Mysteries when he got bored with making every damn discovery.
-Neville Longbottom cut off the Hog's Head. He was just practicing for Nagini.
-Voldemort did not choose Harry over Neville because he thought Neville to be weaker, but because it would be downgrading him. Neville doesn't like to be downgraded.
How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You
Bringing you dead animals – This isn’t a gift; it’s a warning.
Staring Contest – If you get caught in a staring contest with your cat, do not look away. Looking away will signal to your cat that you are weak, and an attack is likely to follow.
Sprinting at light speed out of any room you enter – When your cat does this, it is actually a failed ambush.
Kneading on you – You may think this is a sign of affection, but your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness.
Hiding in dark places and watching you – Your cat will often hide in order to study you in your natural habitat.
Throwing up grass – Through this painful feeding and purging process, cats prepare their minds and bodies for combat.
Sleeping on your electronics – Humans have superior technology. Your cat knows this and will attempt to disrupt all communications to the outside world.
Pawing at your face while you sleep – Cats aren’t very good at smothering people, but this won’t stop them from trying.
Excessive shoveling of kitty litter – After using the litter box, your cat needlessly kicks litter around, most of it ending up all over the room. This is practice for burying bodies.
If you secretly hoped to get a letter from Hogwarts when you were 11, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you think Bellatrix is creepy and should have been killed by Neville (not that there's anything wrong with Molly Weasley kicking her butt), copy and paste this into your profile.
This Evil Overlord List is Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach. If you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post it anywhere, provided that (1) it is not altered in any way, and (2) this copyright notice is attached.
AN IMPORTANT NOTE REGARDING THE COPYRIGHT:
This Evil Overlord List grew out of the exchanges on what is now the Star Trek mailing list "email@example.com", beginning in 1994 (when it was still "firstname.lastname@example.org"). We were kicking around cliches that appeared on "Deep Space 9" at the time, and I started to compile a list of classic blunders they were making. The list came to about 20 or so items. In 1995, I decided to try to make it into a Top 100 List. I attached a copyright notice, some friends of mine posted it to a few newsgroups, and the contributions quickly poured in. In 1996 I revised the list entries to their current form, the Web page went up, more contributions were solicited, the list expanded beyond 100 and I had to open up a dungeon. I continued to contribute items; my total is around 40 or so. So while I am the originator, editor, and principal contributor, I certainly did not write the majority of the items on the list -- as may be seen by the sheer number of individuals who are listed as contributors. Around 1997, as the final contributions were coming in, a couple contributors mentioned that this was similar to a list of things not to do if you capture James Bond that had appeared on a sci-fi newsgroup. I'd never heard of or seen this list, so I assumed it was parallel development or perhaps something I had inspired.
On November 12, 2002, I exchanged some emails with Jack Butler who has a list on his website. Sayeth Mr. Butler: "This list has its origins on the now-nonexistent FidoNet Science Fiction and Fandom (SFFAN) email echo, in a discussion regarding a sketch seen on an episode of Saturday Night Live sometime in 1990. In the sketch, several Bond villains were appearing on a talkshow touting their new book, "What Not To Do If You Capture James Bond". The discussion on SFFAN was specifically regarding what advice might be found in that book. The instigator of the discussion was Alesia Chamness; other contributors included Jason Welles, Brian R. Williams, Merideth Knepper, and Alexi Vandenburg. I was also one of its contributors. When I originally posted this list to the Internet in 1994, I did so without any awareness of Mr. Anspach, the Star Trek mailing list on which his version of the list appeared, or (later) his website."
Apparently both lists were compiled during overlapping periods of time. Comparing the two, some items appear on one list but not the other. Other items appear identical to those on this list; since many are the result of my writing or editing, I believe they were taken from this list and posted to that list without permission. But other items on that list appear identical to contributions I received before I edited them. Those items may have been taken from that list and submitted here under false pretenses, or they may have innocently been submitted to both lists by their originators. It appears that as a result of this "cross-contamination", the two lists have arrived at a point where there are variations on each other and it is probably impossible to untangle them. (I would still like to talk with Alesia Chamness. If you know her, please ask her to email me.)
I believe Jack Butler when he says the list on his website is the current form of the James Bond Villain list, and I thank him for helping to clarify matters. Let me state that I had nothing to do with the FidoNet SFFAN list which is firmly in the public domain, and I lay no claim to it. The copyright statement attached to my list applies only to this list, in the form it appears.
-- Peter Anspach
Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. With that in mind, allow me to present...
The Top 100 Things I'd Do
1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."
8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.
10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
12. One of my advisers will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."
17. When I employ people as advisers, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.
27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.
28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.
31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.
32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.
34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.
37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.
38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.
39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.
41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.
42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.
43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.
44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.
46. If an adviser says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the adviser.
47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.
48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.
49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.
50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.
51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.
52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.
53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.
54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.
55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.
56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.
57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.
58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.
59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.
60. My five-year-old child adviser will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.
61. If my advisers ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.
62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.
63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.
64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.
65. If I must have computer systems with publicly available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.
66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.
67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.
68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.
69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.
70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.
71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.
72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.
73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisers assure me it is impossible for them to win.
74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old adviser can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.
75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en mass, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.
76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)
77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.
78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."
79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.
80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.
81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.
82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.
83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.
84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.
85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."
86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.
87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.
88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.
89. After I captures the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.
90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.
91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.
92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)
93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.
94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.
95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.
96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.
97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.
98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.
99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.
100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.
Character, Overall? Ron
Female Character? Luna
Male Character? Ron
Group Of Characters? Marauders
Spell? Expecto Patronum
Sweet? Chocolate Frogs
Place? The Burrow
Weasley Twin? George
Product? Canary Cremes
Shop? Weasley Wizarding Wheezes
Character, Overall? Umbridge
Ship? Snarry, Harry/Ginny, Remus/Tonks, George/Angelina, or Rose/Scor. Know what, Rose/Scor
Sweet? Acid Pops
Death Eater? Peter
Shop? Borgun and Burkes
Place? Borgun and Burkes
List your top ten favorite Harry Potter characters in no particular order.
1) Ron Weasley
2) Hermione Granger
3) James Potter
4) Luna Lovegood
5) Neville Longbottom
6) George Weasley
7) Harry Potter
8) Percy Weasley
9) Regulus Black
10) Dominique Weasley
Have you read a five/ten fic before?
No, but I'm writing.
Do you think three is hot? How hot?
James is not hot. He's gorgeous.
What would happen if six got one pregnant?
I think we would need to start worry about George and/or Ron.
Do you recall any good fics about nine?
I'm sure I've read, but I don't remember.
Would seven and two make a good couple?
Yes, I love Harry/Hermione.
Four/eight or four/nine?
Percy/Luna would be a bit easier to do, but I could see Regulus/Luna better if that makes sense.
What would happen if seven discovered three and eight were having a secret relationship?
Harry would end up in therapy.
Make a title for a two/six fic.
Suggest a title for a one/five Hurt/Comfort fic.
Second Best Mate
What kind of plot would you use if four wanted to seduce one?
She would him compliment on weird stuff before pulling him into a kiss.
Does anyone on your friends list read number seven/nine?
No, but I'm sure they're out there.
If you wrote a songfic about number ten, what song would you choose?
Breath by Anna Nalick
(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (7). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (6) and a brief unhappy affair with (8), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3).
What title would you give this fic? Issues
YOUR REAL NAME: Haley
2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Halizzle
3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): Blue Tiger
4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name): Corrine Terrier
5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Lavhapie
6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Green Pepsi
7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Avciesn
8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name): Lynn
9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): Black Lily
When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.
When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.
When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.
When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.
When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.
When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered.
When a girl says "I love you." she means it.
When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.
Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.
The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.
The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".
If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life
"They hurt her"
About six years ago in Indiana, Carmen Winstead was pushed down a sewer opening by five girls in her school, trying to embarrass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't submerge, the police were called. They went down and brought up 17-year-old Carmen Winstead's body, with her neck broken from hitting the ladder, then the concrete at the bottom. The girls told everyone she fell... They believed them.
FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off.
Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true.
If you don't repost this saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you.
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