Author has written 5 stories for NCIS, Peter Pan, Spin City, Harry Potter, Torchwood, Family Ties, and Fullmetal Alchemist.
This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your
OK...so what's the speed of dark?
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?.
Just remember--if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Life isn't like a box of chocolates...it's more like a jar of jalapeno's.
Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign of stupidity. . . .
I'm on a mission to save the world (I can't believe they trusted me with this).
Mirror, mirror on the wall, what the @$#% happened!!!
Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t gone to sleep yet.
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
If you don’t talk to your cat about catnip, who will?
Everyone is born right handed, only the gifted overcome it.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
I'm right 90% of the time, so why worry about the other 12%?
Are you too gullible? We can cure you! Send $1,000 to...
My dog thinks I'm crazy. I'll be back when I'm done arguing with him.
Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.
They call it pms because mad cow disease was already taken.
Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death.
The world needs messy people; otherwise the neat people would take over.
Remember my face; I might need an alibi later.
I took an IQ test……….the results were negative.
333…… I’m only half evil.
The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
Make something idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Few women admit their age, few men act it.
Chocolate: Catnip for the feminine world.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
I'm not paranoid, just terribly, terribly alert...
A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
Any law enacted with more than fifty words contains at least one loophole.
Evil is live spelled backwards.
God must love stupid people, he made so many of them.
When all else fails, read the instuctions.
"Push" is the force exerted upon the door marked "Pull".
What some people lack in intelligence, they make up in stupidity.
There is a difference between an open mind and a hole in the head.
The light at the end of the tunnel could turn out to be the headlight of an oncoming train.
A watched pot never boils, unless you light the gas under it.
If your parents don't have kids, odds are you won't either.
Curiosity kills more mice than cats.
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
How many of you believe in psycho kinesis?... Raise my hand.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason put this on your profile.
If you love random things, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are reading this, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you can not imagine what you did before you knew about Fanfiction even if it was less than 3 months ago, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate school, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are a psycho, copy this into your profile.
If Hannah Montana and Jonas Brothers must die, copy this into your profile.
If you can read/speak more than one language (not necessarily fluently), copy this into your profile (emphasis on not fluently).
If you're weird, copy this into your profile.
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself . Crazy is screaming 'CHEEESEEE!' on a rollercoaster drop. So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
If you have strange dreams that never, ever make any sense whatsoever, put this into your profile.
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile.
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have too many of these copy-and-paste things in your profile and don't care who dislikes it, copy this into your profile.
If you love these copy and paste things, even though they aren't that cool to begin with, copy this into your profile.
If your profile is too long and you’re loving it, copy and paste this into your profile.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch.
If you have ever read a 250 pg book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects : copy this into your profile.
If you have seen a movie so many times you can quote it word for word, and do so frequently, copy and paste.
MOST of people on fanfiction believe that 98 percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you are one of the few people who knows that statistic is a huge exaggeration, copy and paste.
If fanfiction is to you what MySpace is to others, copy and paste.
90 of teens today would die if MySpace/Facebook had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10 that would be laughing, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you get excited every time you see a single, solitary, new review, copy and paste.
It seems like everyone has a Myspace. If you don't have one, and see no point in having one, copy and paste.
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile.
I wonder who the first person was who looked at a cow and said: "I'll just pull those dangly things and see what comes out, and then drink it."
Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to.
“When Life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”
“When life gives you lemons, squirt them in people’s eyes.”
"When life gives you lemons, make apple juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it."
"When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!"
“When life gives you lemons, laugh and wiggle your eyebrows. Then let the deprived people wonder why.”
“When life gives you lemons, keep them. I mean, hey, it’s free lemons.”
"Haikus are easy,
"We leave immediately!" "But what about dinner?!" "We leave in five hours!"
Forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
If you find yourself in a hole, make mud pies from the dirt.
I love Deadlines! I like the whoosh noise they make as they go by.
Whoever said "anything is possible" never tried to slam a revolving door.
Sometimes I wonder... 'Why is that Frisbee getting bigger?' And then - it hits me.
How to Know if You're Addicted to Fanfiction
10. You no longer refer to comments as "comments." They are now known only as "reviews."
9. Pens are for idiots, and you wouldn't be caught dead with one. How on earth are you supposed to erase when you want to rewrite?
8. You start laughing at the most inopportune times because you remembered something funny from a fanfic.
7. You pretend to take notes, but really you're getting a head start on your latest ficlet.
6. Short disclaimers are for losers. Whoever thinks up the craziest gets a cookie.
5. You can't write for English class because you've used up all your ideas for fanfiction.
4. A story idea isn't a story idea. It's a plot bunny.
3. You hear people talking about a ship (the water variety), and you frenchin jump, like, five feet in the air and act like you've never heard the word used outside of the fanfiction context.
2. Whenever something inspiring happens, you screech, "Ooh! Fanfic idea!" and then immerse yourself in writing for the next three hours.
1. You repost this onto your profile! :)
Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.
If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!
If you are against racism, copy this onto your profile. THE ONLY RACE IS HUMANITY!
If you LOVE reading, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think the world should have no violence, but probably will always have it, copy this into your profile.
If you think cancer is awful, put this in your profile.
Just because we eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, ect, copy this onto your profile.
If you want this dang war to end, copy and paste it into your profile.
If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!
If your profile is way too long, copy and paste this into it to make it even longer!
If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you've ever walked into a window copy this onto your profile.
If, for any particular reason, you have laughed during a movie that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
If, when clearing out your room, you have ever said: 'Man, I need to delete some of this stuff' copy and paste.
If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless (but fun), and you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever burst out laughing in a silent room over something that happened yesterday, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you laugh secretly at some people or keep on comparing them with characters because they resemble some characters, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle (or yell at) some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like, two reviews, add this to your profile.
No one even reads these anymore... if you're the kind of person who DOES read every single one, copy and paste!
If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.
If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile.
If you get way to excited for books, movies, etc. to come out, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever forgotten how old you are when someone asked you, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever been called a bookworm and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.
If you haven't ever actually killed anyone... YET... copy and paste.
If you read the 7th harry potter book and Severus Snape is now on your fave characters list, copy and paste this to you profile.
If you have ever had a dream about Harry Potter, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you cried, screamed, laughed, or threw a fit when Edward left Bella in New Moon, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are mad that they have not discovered Tatooine, Naboo, Coruscant, and Kashykk, and all the other star systems out there, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you think Padme changes her outfit/hairstyle waaaaay too often, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate when people mistake Star Trek for Star Wars, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that Obi-Wan Kenobi is smug, twitchy, and clueless when it comes to relationships... but think it makes him even more sweet... copy and paste this.
If you think High School Musical is not a real musical, copy this into your profile
If you think Tweenies is evil, and brainwashes little kids, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you think books shouldn't be depressing, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever suppressed the urge to yell "MACAVITY!!" in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever argued with the computer screen, copy and paste this into your profile.
Excuse me, have you seen my sanity? I think I lost it.
You call me crazy; I've been called worse by the voices in my head.
The statistics of insanity is that 1 of every 4 people have a mental illness. Look at your three best friends; if they're ok, then it's you!
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
It’s a funny thing when everyone at the local asylum knows your name.
Even if the voices aren't real...they have some good ideas.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone.
There's nothing wrong with taking to random objects, it’s when they start to talk back that you need to worry.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.
Your weirdness is creeping out my Imaginary Friend.
My Imaginary Friend thinks you have a serious mental problem, and trust me, she would know!
I once believed I could fly. The broken neck proved that theory wrong, and it wasn't even my neck.
Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.
There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.
Who ever said that words never hurt obviously has never got hit by a dictionary.
One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
No, I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.
I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept!
Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.
I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he got away…
I’m not saying you’re stupid, I’m just implying it.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried.
Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.
Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.
I like sharp things. I'm depressed. You're standing next to me. I’m depressed. I catch your eye and wiggle the sharp object. Run.
If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.
Because ‘True Love Never Dies’ reads like a bad FanFiction that’s OOC on all accounts.
Roses are red,
But the roses are wilting,
Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dyslexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.
If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity and trial by error, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's just a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh?!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because?...)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what? Underwater?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)
YOU IGNORE THIS WITHOUT READING IT YOU HAVE NO HEART...BUT IF YOU FIND YOU CANNOT STOP UNTIL YOU REACH THE END THEN YOU MUST HAVE A VERY BIG HEART.
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school