ninjafaceify
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Joined 01-15-11, id: 2705605, Profile Updated: 02-15-14
Author has written 1 story for Legend of Zelda.

First off I would like to apologize for my horrible updates, secondly welcome. now on to more pressing matters. I will be starting my new story "The Legend of Rhonin and Adara" soon and will not stop, this I solomely swear. Also I will not be continuing my other story for now but it is in...reconstruction.

Now that that's out of the way read this stupid crap...or just scroll to the bottom that's cool too.

-Signed Ninjafaceify A.k.a Justin

ACTUAL PRODUCT LABELS THAT SCARE ME:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Quotes...

"If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." -Sirius Black, Harry Potter

"You are without doubt the worst pirate I've ever heard of." "But you have heard of me."- Commodore Norrington and Captain Jack Sparrow

"I've got a jar of dirt, I've got a jar of dirt... and guess what's inside it!" -Captain Jack Sparrow

"They say 'Guns don't kill people, people kill people.' Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people." -unknown

"Now, you two - Behave yourselves. If I get one word that you've blown up a toilet or - "
"Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet."
"Great idea though, thanks, Mum.":Fred and George. PS.

"Do you remember me telling you we are practicing nonverbal spells, Potter?"
"Yes," said Harry stiffly.
"Yes, sir."
"There's no need to call me 'sir,' Professor." :Harry. HBP.

"Just close your eyes. But keep your mind wide open" Leslie, Bridge to Terabithia

"Is it better to be smart or lucky?" -Tallahassee

"Gotta enjoy the little things." -Tallahassee

"Hey, look. 'Es-CA-pay'. I wonder what that means? That's funny, it's spelled just like the word 'escape.'" Dory, Finding Nemo

"My mama always said that life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get!" -Forrest Gump

"To infinity and beyond!" -Buzz Lightyear

"I AM A PEANUT!"- John Cooper

"WHY WAS THERE BACON IN THE SOAP!"-Zim

"You dare challenge Megamind?!" "This town isn't big enough for two super-villains!" "Oh.. your a villain alright! Just not a super one!" "Yea? What's the difference?!" "...PRESENTATION!" - Megamind

"Answer me this, Link, one question, and then you can go back to the others. What is the difference between a soldier and a warrior?" "What kind of idiotic question is that? A soldier is a warrior!" Link said. "No, Link, he is not," Ganondorf said, "And I'll tell you the difference. It's quite simple really. You see, a soldier can become very good at what they do. And a warrior, well, he does what he's good at.- Freedan the Eternal

"What? Say something! Am I so beautiful you have no words left?"-Midna

"I...I need...I must try it"-Malo

"If he's boob can I be Ragina?- Nigahiga skitzo

"Life is worthless. When we take a life we are taking nothing of value." -Durzo Blint/ way of shadows

Light is but a farewell gift from the darkness to those on their way to die.-The Boss/ metal gear solid 3

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The Silent Kingdom by Freedan the Eternal reviews
One year after the death of Ganondorf, Link finds everything he cares for torn from him once again. In the company of Midna and Princess Zelda, he must travel to a faraway land to find an ancient magic power to save not only Hyrule, but the world...
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 135 - Words: 941,442 - Reviews: 1486 - Favs: 843 - Follows: 672 - Updated: 4/8 - Published: 1/30/2007 - Link, Midna
Divine Punishment by Moon White Rose reviews
Din, Nayru, and Farore, tired of a centuries old cycle, complain. They get punished by becoming the very thing they complain about as well as being cared for by their chosen. AU. *NEW CHAPTER UP!*
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 60,897 - Reviews: 365 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 93 - Updated: 11/5/2013 - Published: 12/5/2010 - Din, Nayru, Farore
Infestation and Medicine? by AllHailMario reviews
Link's leg is paralyzed from an attack by a strange creature. These creatures are swiftly appearing all over Hyrule, threatening the peace once more. While on another adventure to end them, Link must try to cure his leg with very strange medicine...
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Humor - Chapters: 27 - Words: 98,837 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 12/29/2011 - Published: 6/20/2008 - Link, Zelda - Complete
The Legend of Bombchu: The Dark Deity by Dairyking reviews
When the Fierce Deity Mask escapes from its seal in the moon Termina is in grave danger! The only one who can save the land from destruction is a Bombchu and his Dragonfly partner but can they reseal the mask before its too late?
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,880 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/22/2011 - Published: 8/14/2011 - Fierce Deity
Legend of Zelda: Twilight Prince by Ryuu-Kitsune-Onna1 reviews
Like the story you all know from the video game, except the roles of Midna and Link have been reversed. No more words necessary. Hope you all like it! Re-uploaded chapter two. Thanks to HolyRiot11 for getting me back on track.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,480 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 8/12/2011 - Published: 12/28/2008 - Link, Midna
The Legend of Zelda: Dragon's Fury by Elfyness reviews
In a world of dragons, fairys, heros, and slayers, there comes a time when everything must be saved. Link is our young hero, and he's more lost than anything! My own twist on the LoZ series. My first fanfiction! T just in case.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,433 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 3/2/2011 - Published: 2/27/2011 - Link
The Legend of Humor: Twilight Princess by Kattheamazing reviews
The game we all know and love, screwed up, set fire to and generally mutilated beyond repair. Is there any hope for Link the camp elf boy and his sadistic pal Midna on their journey to collect the three fused cookies and defeat the despicable forces of marketing/ the demon king? *As you've probably guessed, on hiatus*.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 33 - Words: 66,118 - Reviews: 202 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 11/11/2010 - Published: 8/24/2009 - Link, Midna
The Mage Chronicles
Link is a young mage starting out on his adventure to discover the purpose behind a mysterious cult obsessed with Link and a strange gauntlet that bends the rules of reality.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 916 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/18/2012 - Link