Teresa Lisbon 123
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Joined 01-16-11, id: 2706640, Profile Updated: 12-25-12
Author has written 13 stories for Mentalist, Victorious, Criminal Minds, and Parodies and Spoofs.

EDIT: I am guessing that most of you who have read my stories have at least a hunch that I have retired from Fan Fiction. You are correct. I quit watching the Mentalist, and quitting Fan Fiction was the next-very difficult- step. I thought for a long time that watching TM was okay, despite the language, sex, and drug use, as long as I didn't write the same way, or let that be reflected in my life.

Actually, I take that back; I have known for a long time that I need to stop watching the Mentalist, but I found it impossible to quit. I thought I couldn't do it.

I was obsessed.

Thinking about the Mentalist 24/7.

Planning my life around being able to watch the Mentalist.

I skipped too many after-church dinners to watch The Mentalist.

I rarely wrote about anything non-Mentalist related.

And I was starting to bend my standerds to allow my favorite characters the life they wanted.

I needed to quit.

The actual story behind what finally pushed me to quit is kind of long, so I won't bore you with it.

But after what happened, the actual act of quitting wasn't so hard.

But doing this-admitting that I wouldn't be finishing any of my stories... That was the hard part. For nearly two months I put it off.

But I owe it to all of you-the ones who kept me sane during a nearly impossible time of my life- to tell you the truth.

I hate not finishing projects. But these will remain unfinished.

I'm sorry.

I will be leaving my stories up, because I remember it driving me crazy when someone quit ff.net and taking their stoies down. "Hey! I was going to read that!" I would gripe to the computer, (Not that anyone could hear me.) and I could never understand them doing that.

All of you mean so much to me, and I will never forget all of the things you've done for me.

Good bye.

I love you all, and God Bless.

-TL123

Fiirst and foremost, I am a Christian!

I believe There is One God, and that Jesus Is The Only Way to Heaven!

I also believe that I am His Princess, and He loves me.

I am a tv show fan who loves:

The Mentalist

Criminal minds

Csi:Miami

And the ships:

The mentalist:Jisbon

Rigspelt

Chelise

CSI:Miami: Ducaine

Wolfvista

Criminal minds: Oh, boy! Um,

Hotch/JJ

Prentiss/Reid,

and Morgan/Garcia

are my favorites, But I also like:

Reid/Me (LOL!)

Hotch/Me(Yeah. LOL!)

JJ/Rossi,

JJ/Reid,

Hotch/Prentiss,

Garcia/Rossi,

And Reid/OC.

Books: Bible, A Case for Christ, (Non-Fiction) And any thing else I can get my hands on!

Quotes:

Minelli: I hate walks, Lisbon. I know they're healthy - I don't care. Put me in a chair, I'm a happy man.

Teresa Lisbon: Main thing is you keep him in there long enough for us to search his car. Be friendly, he thinks he's a player, he'll eat it up.
Grace Van Pelt: What do mean "be friendly?"
Teresa Lisbon: Need a map?

To Lisbon, after her prints were found on the murder weapon.)
Jane: Bet you wish you wore some gloves, huh?

Jane (regarding the door): Rigsby. Little help here.
Lisbon Oh, please! (Opens the door herself)

Lisbon Cho and I have a trial meeting with the deputy AG.
Cho: Not if I throw myself into oncoming traffic first.

Deputy Fisher: (talking about Jane) What's this guy's problem?
LisbonThat would take way too long to answer.

Lisbon You know what? I don't need my gun, I can just hit you with my chair.
Jane: (smirking) I think you'll find it's bolted to the floor.

Lisbon: (to Van Pelt who has just been shot) Don't ever do this to me again.

Bosco: They're Jane's people. They need watching.
Lisbon I like to think of them as my people.
Bosco: Well, think what you like. I can't have them trying to pull some cheap stunt behind my back.
Jane: Well, we have a whole range of expensive stunts if you don't like the cheap ones.

Jane: Ah ha!
Lisbon Is that a useful 'ah ha' or an irritating 'ah ha'?

Mike: Why are you a detective?
Cho: Why am I a detective? Why are you a reporter?
Mike: What?
Cho: Why are you making this documentary?
Mike: It's a fresh perspective on law enforcement.
Cho: No, what's in it for you?
Mike: Well, uh, this is exclusive, and it's a good way to get noticed.
Cho: So you're ambitious. How long have you been doing the news here?
Mike: About eight years.
Cho: Anchor?
Mike: Mostly field work.
Cho: So you're ambitious but you haven't gotten very far.
(Cameraman laughs)
Mike: I, uh, I guess that's about it... yeah.
(Rigsby laughs)
Mike: You don't like being asked questions, do you? The team as a whole seems to have a problem with that.
Cho: Is that a question?
Brenda: Mike, if I can interrupt here...
Mike: Yeah.
Cameraman: We're clear.
Brenda: There's coffee in the kitchen, gentlemen. I'm sorry. (she bends down and looks at Cho with a pained expression and forced smile) Agent Cho?
Cho: Yeah?
Brenda: It is the specific request of the deputy A.G. that you're unit will cooperate fully with the media.
Cho: What's your point?
(Rigsby coughs)
Brenda: (stands up in disbelief) Oh...
(Cho cracks a half-smile)

Mayor Melba: These people will be leaving now.
Jane: I like the way you say that, Melba, like to talk so tough and commanding, but let me tell you something: we are state law enforcement, and we leave when we wanna leave.
Lisbon Thank you for your time.
Jane: She wants to leave.

Mr. Wallcot-I can make on phone call and your career is toast.
Cho-That's impressive, most I can get with one phone call is a pizza.

Patrick Jane: Honestly, it's not as bad as it looks.

Patrick Jane: She couldn't kill anyone unless they told her to in a firm voice

Patrick Jane: Ah, yoga. Because standing on your head listening to flute music is definitely the answer.

Teresa: Like you don't know you have major trust issues.
Patrick: I trust people. I trust you.
Teresa: No you don't, and I don't trust you either.
Patrick: It's upsetting to hear that. Really? You don't trust me?
Teresa: Of course not! How many times have you lied to me, misled me, tricked me? Is that trust? No

Teresa Lisbon Quote: This is a simple plan. It's when you start getting costumes and props that I get nervous.

Teresa Lisbon Quote: Is there a word for uncanny and irritating?

Kimball Cho Quote:
Ben Machado: I didn't know you guys were cops.
Kimball Cho: You thought we were selling magazine subscriptions?

Kimball Cho Quote:
Patrick: Vibes. Really? Vibes?
Cho: That's where he stares at the back of her neck for several hours. Women love that.

Kimball Cho Quote:
Mr Winston: How am I supposed to know who you are? You're banging on my door, CBI, CBI. Like that's supposed to mean something?
Cho: Yeah, we do need better brand awareness.

Lisbon (To Cho) "You allow him to pull that stunt again, and you'll be showing visitors around the state house wearing a stupid hat."

You know you're obsessed with the Mentalist if:

You listen to references to the show in every song

It comforts you to read comments from overly obsessed fans because you’re not the only one

You have some scenes memorized

You start to refer to people as irksome instead of plain annoying

You’re more observant to the people around you

You think red smiley faces are somewhat creepy.

You wish that a guy could tell you how emeralds would look lovely with your eyes.

You want to find the 'Jane' to your 'Lisbon'.

You have joined a group on facebook and/or myspace involving the Mentalist and/or Jane and Lisbon.

You dream of fanfic plots.(And then I forget them when I wake up!)

You start shipping couples who remind you of Jisbon.

Hmmm... Guess I am a little obsessed... Oh well.

Copy and Paste Stuff:

If you sometimes wonder if you were born in the wrong era, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have an insane best friend, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are random and proud of it, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you actually take the time to read other peoples profiles, copy this to yours.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself copy this into your profile.

If you've ever pulled on a door that said push or vice versa, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

And if you agree that you have a problem when you start actually replying to yourself like there are two people in the room than copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love reading, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever ran into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If you forgot your phone number when some one asks for it copy this into your profile.

If you love you some randomness, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects, copy this into your profile

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If, for any particular reason, you have laughed during a movie that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think copying and pasting stuff is pointless, but you do it anyway, copy and paste this to your profile.

I found these on a super funny girl's profile, and I am putting them on mine. The comments in bold are hers.

These are actually out there!

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (That's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos:!...You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how?...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Well...duh, a bit late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (I was hoping it was going to be frozen... darn.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (And...I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash!!...)
(In reality, they are forced to do that due to people with peanut and nut allergies. If they don't...MAJOR LAWSUITS!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and put this on your profile to bring a smile to someone (maybe even a chuckle)...

I want to reccomend some people's stories on here:

Brown Eyes Parker: She is an awesome writer, and has made me her kind of "Adopted Sister." She writes for Mentalist. (And other stuff...)

Criminalmindslife: She is a great Criminal Minds writer. She and I are best friends who share our love of Fanfiction, Aaron Hotchner, and Spencer Reid!

Mentalgal: She is a great Mentalist writer. She is a huge encouragement on this site. She has even been the only person reviewing my story, and thus, the only reason I continued it.

Jisbon4Ever: She has an amazing sense of humor, she writes stories for (Obviously) the Mentalist, specifically Jisbon, and she has some ideas that, while a bit out there, are terriffic!

SonnyGoten: She writes for Animie/Manga, but she also has a great sense of humor, and she writes some stories for Bible. She is an athiest, but she's really interesting, and a good person to get into a religious debat with! :)

Feel free to send me a message!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Where's the Dislike Button? by As-Long-As-I'm-Around reviews
Patrick Jane: If Teresa Lisbon deletes me off facebook does that mean we are not friends? Angst and humor. Original Summary: The team have facebook. Teresa just changed her relationship status. Obviously, Jane isn't impressed..
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 11,226 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 89 - Updated: 12/30/2012 - Published: 1/3/2011 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Rules of Attraction by Serenity2012 reviews
"Lisbon," he started, then shook his head, as if he was trying to work up the courage to do something, "Teresa- Can you look me in the eyes, and tell me that Hightower was just making stuff up? That we're 'just friends?"
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,103 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 1/2/2012 - Published: 6/15/2010 - Teresa L., Patrick J.
Through a Window by awesomenerd95 reviews
NEW CHAPTER14! SEQUAL to "Double Trouble" Lilly and Jane continue the case and find a shocking discovery as the case slowly unravels. Bonds will be strengthened and friendships will be tested. Lilly/Sam Jisbon and Rigspelt...bad summery learn more inside
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 14 - Words: 28,263 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 9/18/2011 - Published: 7/29/2010 - Patrick J.
flowers by bouncing off the walls again reviews
Lisbon starts receiving flowers. Reminded by Van Pelt that flowers meant something in the Victorian times she starts to investigate. Are these random flower arrangements linked to the case? First mentalist fanfic. Rated T due to my paranoia.
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Crime - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,839 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 9/6/2011 - Published: 6/22/2011 - Teresa L. - Complete
Blind Date by lisbonandjanealways reviews
Rigsby sets Jane up on a blind date. Van Pelt sets Lisbon up on a blind date. Coincidence? No copyright infringement intended. NOW COMPLETE, possible sequel to come.
Mentalist - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,562 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 8/29/2011 - Published: 8/14/2011 - Teresa L., Patrick J. - Complete
The Date by SSAFunbar reviews
Bubbles is back for her date with none other than Spencer Reid. Related to Meet The Real BAU Team Makes more sense if read first , but could be read on its own.
Criminal Minds - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,133 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/20/2011 - S. Reid - Complete
Unconventional Truths by Rosajean reviews
Ambassador Prentiss has a secret that is about to drastically change Emily's life. H/P eventually. FINALLY COMPLETE!
Criminal Minds - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 41 - Words: 66,797 - Reviews: 369 - Favs: 116 - Follows: 120 - Updated: 6/25/2011 - Published: 2/18/2011 - E. Prentiss, A. Hotchner/Hotch - Complete
Meet The Real BAU Team by SSAFunbar reviews
I interviewed the past and present members of the BAU team of the FBI not real interviews sadly
Criminal Minds - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 18,191 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 4/21/2011 - Published: 9/24/2010 - Complete
Connecting with Paris by JennyMoriarty reviews
Hotch makes a phone call.
Criminal Minds - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,336 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/16/2011 - A. Hotchner/Hotch, E. Prentiss - Complete
Memory by r.i.p. musictaco reviews
The BAU get a call from Seattle to discover one of the stars of the webshow iCarly has been kidnapped. Can they find her before the unsub disposes of her like the rest? Or does he have other plans?
Crossover - Criminal Minds & iCarly - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,315 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 4/16/2011 - Published: 8/24/2010 - Carly S.
Of sprained ankles and blue berry muffins by Kensumako reviews
This is a take on what should have happened after season 3 x 15. My first try at a multi-chapter please read and review.
Mentalist - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,567 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 2/21/2011 - Published: 2/18/2011 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Boom! Goes the Writer by Ulquiorra-isn't-emo reviews
I got bored. Thus, things like this are created. To the tune of "Pop! Goes the Weasel."
Parodies and Spoofs - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 124 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 2/19/2011 - Complete
Mentalist Episode Tag: Red Gold, 3x15 by Donnamour1969 reviews
Jane and Lisbon deal with the aftermath of Lisbon's injury in two distinctly different ways. Fluffy one-shot tag with a hint of Jisbon. Spoilers for episode 3x15. No copyright infringement intended.
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,071 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 8 - Published: 2/18/2011 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
modern who's up first by r.a.b. shoulda lived reviews
most of us know of Abbott and Costello's skit who's up first. But, what would happen if this happenned now, with computers instead of baseball? Got it in an e-mail thought you guys would like it. Don't own the original.
Parodies and Spoofs - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 485 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Published: 2/11/2011 - Complete
Mentalist Episode Tag: Red Alert, 3x13 by Donnamour1969 reviews
Jane seemed just a little too annoyed by a speeding ticket. Lisbon wonders what was really bothering him. One-shot tag. Spoilers: 3x13. No copyright infringement intended.
Mentalist - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,318 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/4/2011 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Christian Tik Tok by BadW0lfGirl reviews
The Christianized version of Tik Tok by Ke ha.
Parodies and Spoofs - Rated: K - English - Spiritual/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 516 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 5 - Published: 2/2/2011 - Complete
Favorite Jello Stories of 2010 by Brown Eyes Parker reviews
My favorite one-shots from 2010 that I didn't get to post. Some of them are happy, so of them are sad. . . but all of them have lots and lots of Jello. LAST STORY posted.
Mentalist - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 15,556 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 1/31/2011 - Published: 10/19/2010 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
What Would the FBI Do? by fire-bird3224 reviews
The FBI profilers all get caught on the tv show What Would You Do.
Criminal Minds - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,092 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/28/2011
Cute Babies by Holz9364 reviews
Jane thinks he and Lisbon would have cute babies. Lisbon secretly agrees. And Hightower, well frankly she finds the whole thing rather amusing. Jisbon!
Mentalist - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,153 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 10 - Published: 1/2/2011 - Teresa L., Patrick J. - Complete
Reid's Romance by raindrop13 reviews
Another romance for Dr. Reid! T only because I'm paranoid. Reid meets a friend of Garcia's and falls in love. No flames, but I love R&R! No slash, no inter-team romance.
Criminal Minds - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,806 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 12/28/2010 - Published: 11/22/2010 - [S. Reid, OC]
Edward Cullen's in Town by unicorn-skydancer08 reviews
He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake. You better watch out!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 146 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/7/2010 - Edward - Complete
The Twelve Grievances of Twilight by unicorn-skydancer08 reviews
My first anti-Twilight song set to an old Christmas classic. Ho, ho, ho!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 454 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/3/2010 - Complete
TO EVER SAY GOODBYE by TheKingsDaughter reviews
Dose anyone know how much it hurts to see your man go off to war with a chance of never coming back? For the wives, sweethearts, daughters, and mothers of our troops...
Bible - Rated: K - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 136 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/28/2010
I want a hippopotamus for Christmas by TML9115 reviews
Title pretty much says it all... Written for the Song Title Prompts forum – Christmas Humor Song Title Prompt List...H/P... COMPLETE!
Criminal Minds - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,122 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 11 - Published: 11/27/2010 - A. Hotchner/Hotch, E. Prentiss - Complete
Cancer And Me by TheKingsDaughter reviews
A ten-year-old little girl in my friends Sunday school has just found out that she has Cancer. It started in her lag and is now spreading to her lungs...This is for her along with so many other Cancer victims...
Bible - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 429 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 11/15/2010
Child by Freedom4America4ever reviews
Why is it that when we say something people don't like, they try to degrade us?
Bible - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 544 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Published: 11/13/2010 - Complete
Bodies Upon The Sand by TheKingsDaughter reviews
In the 1943 issue of "life" during World War II, a picture was published of three american solder's bodies in the sand. This is for those three brave man who died without names. Somehow, Someway, I just want to say thank you. God bless our troops...
Bible - Rated: K - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 144 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11/10/2010 - Complete
Unexpected by Little-Firestar84 reviews
Danny's presence at the office was unexpected, it was unexpected him walking past his brother-in-law into Lisbon's office. It was unexpected the proposition he had for her. it was unexpected the way he turned Jane's world upside down. Jisbon one-shot
Mentalist - Rated: K - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,547 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/8/2010 - Teresa L., Patrick J. - Complete
Dear Mama by TheKingsDaughter reviews
A heartbreaking letter from a vietnam solder on christmas eve. Dedicated to our solders who wont be home for Christmas. Sorry, another sad poem.
Bible - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 216 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Published: 11/4/2010 - Complete
Mommy, I love you by TheKingsDaughter reviews
When parents make wrong decisions like drugs or drinking it not only destroys them, but the most innocent people in the world:Children. Warning:very sad.
Bible - Rated: K - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 189 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/3/2010 - Complete
To save a wretch by TheKingsDaughter reviews
How deep the father's love, that he should give his only son to make a wretch his treasure...
Bible - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 642 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Published: 10/27/2010 - Jesus
Esther, were you scared? by TheKingsDaughter reviews
Imagion being torn from evrything you hold dear, then having the fate of your peoples lives in YOUR hands?
Bible - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 371 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Published: 10/24/2010 - Queen Esther - Complete
the Substitute Husband by Brown Eyes Parker reviews
When Lisbon's groom leaves her high and dry at the altar, she needs somebody to take his place. And who's the best option but her consultant? And what happens, when their "strictly business" turns into love? COMPLETE
Mentalist - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 22,340 - Reviews: 168 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 10/9/2010 - Published: 8/16/2010 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
The battle of Heaven and Hell by TheKingsDaughter reviews
Satan is like a claw, he pulls at your every weakness, tighter and tighter. The only way to escape is to cry out to the Lord. Only Satan doesn't give up so easily. There's a battle between good and and evil, heaven and hell, God and Satan...
Bible - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 581 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Published: 9/30/2010 - Jesus, Satan
The FBI Olympics by fire-bird3224 reviews
The FBI is bored again, so Garcia comes up with a creative solution.
Criminal Minds - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 2,679 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 9/11/2010 - Published: 9/9/2010
Riddle by fire-bird3224 reviews
We asked the FBI profilers a riddle, here is what they said.
Criminal Minds - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 188 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 9 - Published: 9/7/2010
My Country, America by unicorn-skydancer08 reviews
An Independence Day poem that reminds us all that, as great a country as America is, we must never forget the One who is even greater.
Bible - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 196 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Published: 7/5/2010 - Complete
Four Life Altering Words by phoebe9509 reviews
Emily goes to the Hotchner house for dinner and Jack has a surprise for her
Criminal Minds - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,791 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 35 - Published: 6/28/2010 - A. Hotchner/Hotch, E. Prentiss - Complete
Intangibles by Lawson227 reviews
They have a rule—they're not supposed to profile each other. But there are always exceptions to every rule. There's also a reason Aaron Hotchner's the boss. He's very, very good at what he does. Spoilers through "Minimal Loss." Gen spec beyond
Criminal Minds - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,502 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/21/2010 - S. Reid, E. Prentiss - Complete
Twilight, Go Away by unicorn-skydancer08 reviews
Another anti-Twilight song, set to another famous tune. Once again, unsuitable for devoted Twilight fans, or for those who can't take a joke.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 375 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Published: 5/28/2010 - Complete
No More Twilight by unicorn-skydancer08 reviews
A Twilight spoof, set to a well-known song. NOT for Twilight devotees, or for those without a funny bone in their bodies.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 374 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Published: 5/27/2010 - Complete
Psychodrama by AddiTood57 reviews
A poem about Reid.
Criminal Minds - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 280 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 10 - Published: 5/19/2010 - S. Reid - Complete
Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head by angel-death-dealer reviews
Jane/Lisbon. Jane's taking care of a four-year-old overnight, waiting for Child Services, when he finds another girl in his life needs taking care of as well.
Mentalist - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,012 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/18/2010 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Breakin' The Wall by samaragaunt reviews
Morgan breaks the fourth wall! OH NO! What will happen?
Criminal Minds - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 784 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/11/2010 - D. Morgan
Victim by TheLaikynVictoria reviews
Hotchner and the team race against time to capture a serial kidnapper/killer who has already killed multiple times. The only twist? Hotch personally knows the latest victim. OC/Hotch
Criminal Minds - Rated: K - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 919 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 12 - Published: 2/26/2010 - A. Hotchner/Hotch
Red Hostage by WannabeAussie reviews
When the CBI has to work with local PD to solve a case, things get interesting. With a new chief who has a special interest in Lisbon, Jane and the team will have to use all of their skills to save their boss...Rated T for a couple of words.
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Angst - Chapters: 13 - Words: 15,675 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 2/20/2010 - Published: 2/6/2010 - Teresa L., Patrick J. - Complete
Shutterbug by Divinia Serit reviews
She slowly lifted out the old leather scrapbook and lovingly ran a hand over the cover as she placed it in her lap. Wiping off the thin layer of dust, she opened it to the first page." Written for the JelloForever October Challenge COMPLETE
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,541 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 10/14/2009 - Published: 10/3/2009 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
It'll come to you by xxKellenLutzLoverxx reviews
set after russet potato . everyones been acting weird towards Wayne and Grace and waynes sure they know something he dosent know . something he done while under hyponosos will he finally rememember kissing grace ..well u gotta read it 2 find out lol
Mentalist - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,808 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Published: 8/10/2009 - Wayne R., Grace vP. - Complete
Baby in Red by Chloe Winchester reviews
Someone actually understands Patrick. She finds him funny and interesting and they get along so well it's like they're the same person. And She's a fifteen year old girl. Please R&R My first shot at this so be nice!
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 9 - Words: 13,871 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 7/31/2009 - Published: 6/8/2009 - Patrick J. - Complete
Red Ruminations by Madaboutthementalist reviews
A series of poems inspired by "The Mentalist."
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 537 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/15/2009 - Patrick J.
Paper Cranes & Thai Chicken by waterbaby134 reviews
Spending a little time with Jane makes Lisbon realize some things she'd rather not admit to. Drabble. One-shot. Jisbon of course.
Mentalist - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,175 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 4 - Published: 6/4/2009 - Teresa L., Patrick J. - Complete
Her Smile by Little Horatio reviews
Horatio and Calleigh get together for Valentine’s Day with the help of their fellow CSIs. This is my first DuCaine fic so...enjoy!
CSI: Miami - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,203 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/16/2008 - Horatio C., Calleigh D. - Complete
Puppy Love by Bluebaby555 reviews
Prentiss finds an abandoned puppy. Pure fluff ensues. H/P.
Criminal Minds - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 925 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/31/2008 - Complete
Love Letters and Hate Mail by Drowning In Bishonen reviews
Reid was quite happy with his quiet, uninvolved life until a mysterious woman with uncanny knowledge of his life and social handicaps finds the website that Garcia made for him and starts talking to him. 6th chappie up!
Criminal Minds - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 22,161 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 7/16/2007 - Published: 4/14/2006
Gramps by ArwenStar914 reviews
A short story about an evolutionist who visits a Christian apothecary (pharmacist), their conversation, and how it affects the young evolutionist. Please r/r.
Bible - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,230 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 6 - Published: 1/13/2002
A Journey In The Sand by ArwenStar914 reviews
A short story about the 'footprints in the sand' poem. Please read and review!
Bible - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 783 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 4 - Published: 12/11/2001
Thanks... by ArwenStar914 reviews
A short poem/prayer I wrote this Thanksgiving. I hope everyone likes it. =)
Bible - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 193 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/22/2001
Alchemists and Jesus by ArwenStar914 reviews
A corrolation of alchemist's beliefs and Jesus's saving grace. Interesting, or so I thought. Plz read.
Bible - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 190 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/13/2001
Real Beauty by ArwenStar914 reviews
A poem about what beauty really is.
Bible - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 73 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/13/2001
God and I by ArwenStar914 reviews
This a conversation I had with God. Rated PG for the theme.
Bible - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,223 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 5 - Published: 6/13/2001
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Unusual Meeting reviews
While searching the internet, Jane discovers a site called 'FanFiction.' He runs into one writer that he especially likes. He has no way of knowing that it's Lisbon.
Mentalist - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,189 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 11/29/2011 - Published: 6/21/2011 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Unapologize reviews
Lisbon just wants to forget about her conversation the night before, but the radio isn't exactly cooperating.
Mentalist - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,367 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/17/2011 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Cat's diary reviews
Just a peek inside the mind of the great Cat Valantine!
Victorious - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,466 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 6/16/2011 - Published: 2/4/2011 - Cat V.
Innocent Question reviews
The eight year old girl looked at her mother curiously. "Mommy, when was your and Daddy's first kiss?" The startled, dark-haired woman looked over at her husband helplessly, but he just smirked. The girl tapped her foot impatiently. "Well?"
Mentalist - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,188 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/18/2011 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
The story of Jisbon reviews
Just a story about Jane and Lisbon finding their way into each others arms, against all odds! Also some Rigspelt and Chelise in there!
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 12,537 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 3/21/2011 - Published: 1/20/2011 - Teresa L., Patrick J. - Complete
Happy Birthday Dear Flamer reviews
There are three things one can do if they get a flame: Block the user, report the user, or write a song making fun of them. I guess it's obvious which one I did!
Parodies and Spoofs - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 135 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/4/2011 - Complete
On a dark road reviews
Late one night, Patrick Jane meets a cheerful young girl, and they get into a discussion about religion. But is this girl what she seems?
Mentalist - Rated: K+ - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,693 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/27/2011 - Patrick J. - Complete
Red Realizations reviews
When Jane comes in when he's not supposed to and hears something he wouldn't have otherwise, he has to wonder if there's more to it than just earthly things.
Mentalist - Rated: K - English - Romance/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 786 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/22/2011 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Dating the BAU reviews
A story in which I get to take each of the BAU boys out on a date, and then get one for a whole month!
Criminal Minds - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 8,680 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 2/20/2011 - Published: 2/4/2011 - Complete
The perfect Valentines Day reviews
Lisbon is kind of iritaited at all of the decorations, until something happens that makes her day!
Mentalist - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 731 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/14/2011 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Every CM fan girl's dream VDay reviews
A present for a friend of mine, a girl named Nicole was watching Criminal Minds, when her whole world is turned upside down!
Criminal Minds - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 763 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Published: 2/14/2011 - Complete
Letter to the writers reviews
The CM people are getting tired of how they are being portrayed in Fan fiction, so they are striking back! It's better not to read this if you don't have a sense of humor.
Criminal Minds - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 601 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Published: 2/7/2011 - Complete
Princes, Princesses, And Knights reviews
Lisbon overhears Jane telling a fairy-tale, and just might end up with a prince charming!
Mentalist - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,393 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/23/2011 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
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