Author has written 13 stories for Calvin & Hobbes, Kingdom Hearts, Minecraft, Pikmin, My Little Pony, and Dragon Ball Z.
News: CQ Update
As you can probably tell, Calvin's Quest Chapter 20: "Exposition of Evil" has been uploaded. Believe it or not, we're only a couple chapters from the end! I figured I'd give you a sneak preview of what's in store for the final leg of this epic journey.
- Chapter 21: Before the Dawn
- Chapter 22: Renegade for Life
- Chapter 23: How Far We've Come
- Epilogue: Back Where You Began
- Bonus Chapter 1: What Was
- Bonus Chapter 2: What Will Be
Sentences I never thought I'd hear:
1) "Not in front of the fox; he's with the owl!" - Sokka (Avatar: The Last Airbender)
2) "Zuko, I think the past is trying to kill me!" - Aang (Avatar: The Last Airbender)
3) "Sorry, got a bit caught up in gloating. I KILLED CELL!!!!!" - Krillin (Dragon Ball Z Abridged Episode 44)
4) "Hope the diamond doesn't mind when I mine it!" - Toby Turner ("Mine the Diamond")
5) "Dammit, give me your bubbles, sir!" - Dylan Bailey (BananaPieLord / MrHewbz)
6) "No one wants to be in an endless donkey loop." - Ross Scott (Game Dungeon: Arcade America)
7) "CALL ME ISHMAEL, BITCH!" - Gordon Freeman (Freeman's Mind)
8) "Yeah, that fish-in-a-barrel trick doesn't work so well when the fish has a shotgun, does it?!?" - Gordon Freeman (Freeman's Mind)
9) "Okay, no more making copies of yourself after you're dead!" - Gordon Freeman (Freeman's Mind)
10) "I'll be back in about twenty minutes; I need to let the milk melt." - Me (It's funnier if you don't know the context)
11) "I just hover a nipple over one and it fills up the rest of them!" - JackSepticEye (Kerbal Space Program)
12) "I'm like the Nostradamus of f*cking up!" - Adrian Shephard (Shephard's Mind)
13) "That's right, asshole, I'm just a box!" - Adrian Shephard (Shephard's Mind)
14) "You can have the trickle, but there's nothing left." - My sister (Again, funnier without context)
15) "I will squeeze my lightning bug at you until you die!" - Adrian Shephard (Shephard's Mind)
16) "I'm literally feet from the exit, but I can't get out because of this impenetrable wall of Pepto-Bismol!" - Adrian Shephard (Shephard's Mind)
17) "Now I'm not saying I'm Voldemort...but I'm not saying I'm not, either." - ChimneySwift (Attack of the B-Team)
18) "No honey?!? We're in a bear, for crying out loud!" - Varrick (Legend of Korra)
19) "That platypus-bear is pooping money!" - Anonymous Water Tribe citizen (Legend of Korra)
20) "Go rub your balloons elsewhere, Wario!" - Vinesauce (Tomodachi Life)
21) "Oh dear, we seem to have had a case of Spontaneous Dinosaur Combustion." - Me (Watching Doctor Who Series 8 Episode 1)
22) "Even a ghost truck would go over a bridge." - Lewis (Trucking Tuesday: Big Rigs Over the Road Racing)
23) "45 degrees is the angle of maximum win." - Me (Physics class)
24) "The...defense is objecting to...ITSELF?!?" - The Judge (Turnabout Storm)
25) "Sableye just downloads your spirit directly into its face." - JWittz ("Weird/Creepy Pokedex Entries Part 5")
26) "WHY DID I GET TRAMPLED TO DEATH BY BUFFALO?!?!?" - Vegeta (Renegade for Life)
27) "You can't go to church with your clothes on!" - Eleventh Doctor ("The Time of the Doctor")
28) "Did I just kill a bug with time travel?!?!?" - Me (Once again, funnier if you fill in the details yourself)
29) "Potato guns are serious business, man." - A friend
30) "Sheldon, your uvula does not have an STD!" - Leonard (The Big Bang Theory Season 8 Episode 2)
31) "You've got the speed and the power and the donk!!!" - Markiplier (Turbo Dismount)
32) "Sorry, it's hard to hear you over this pig!" - My physics teacher
33) "My bananas are in the fat!" - Josh Jepson ("Super Mario Sunshine Versus")
34) "Of COURSE I enter a monkey zone right as I get the magnet." - Me (Playing "Ooga Jump")
35) "I can live here indefinitely; I've got 20 pork." - Duncan ("Hole Diggers" Episode 19)
36) "Oh sweet Christ, the arm gag is back." - Me (reading "Homestuck" for the first time)
37) "It's nice standing under the crotch, just sheltering from the rain as Simon builds a giant red tube in the sky and Duncan fiddles around with redstone timers in space." - Lewis Brindley ("Hole Diggers" Episode 37)
38) "Don't be fair to the Daleks when they're firing me at a planet!" - The Eleventh Doctor ("Asylum of the Daleks")
39) "So they just hide freaking Cubes in TIME ITSELF?!?" - JoshJepson ("Let's Play Fez" Episode 5)
40) "...did Aladdin just read my mind?!?" - Me (once again, funnier without context)
41) "Spontaneous Alien Combustion. Works for me." - Gordon Freeman (Freeman's Mind)
42) "Is there a reason the eagle keeps making Get Smart references?" - Me (Watching Yu-Gi-Oh! GX)
So I've recently started a new story: Ponyball Z Abridged! Basically, it's a ponification of TeamFourStar's excellent web series "Dragonball Z Abridged", and basically it consists of replacing the DBZA characters with the Mane 6 and switching out the dialogue to make it set in Equestria. The project was inspired by The Wholocked Brony's excellent "Adventures in Time" story, which is a similar project but with Doctor Who. (Incidentally, I tried to upload the story to FIMfiction, but they rejected it because it's "not original content". Still a bit pissed.)
Basically, here are the characters who have thus far been introduced and/or mentioned, and their corresponding MLP characters:
- Goku: Twilight (brilliant at what they do well, but kind of naive and stupid outside their comfort zone)
- Rainbow Dash: Vegeta (awesome and they know it; totally full of themselves; basically, "I AM THE HYPE!!!")
- Piccolo: Lyra (both outsiders named after instruments)
- Krillin: Spike (more or less there for comic relief and moral support; get physically and verbally abused constantly)
- Bulma: Fleur Dis Lee (succeed by being rich and not getting involved in the action)
- Yamcha: Flash (hated by his "friends" and apparently by life itself)
- Kami: Cadance (basically a god, but has little to no impact on the series)
- Raditz: Shining Armor (brother of main character; has almost no effect on the plot after initial introduction)
- Nappa: Pinkie Pie ("I am hilarious and you will quote everything I say!")
- Master Roshi: Granny Smith (elderly, apparently knows a lot but does very little to the overall story)
- Gohan: Fluttershy (starts out really nervous and reluctant to fight, but slowly gets more confident; when they get mad...look out)
- Mr. Popo: Pinkamena (HOLY CRAP, GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!!)
- King Yemma: Mayor Mare (Authority figure who has exactly zero impact on the story)
- Chi-Chi: Octavia (can easily see being overprotective of family)
- King Kai: Queen Luna (Ultra-powerful, lives on small planetoid, always lonely)
- Tien Shinhan: Applejack ("I am the only serious character on this show. That's the joke.")
- Chiaotzu: Sweetie Belle (martial arts master who looks like a little kid)
Things I learned from Homestuck:
1) Never let babies duel-wield flintlock pistols.
2) Never pretend you understand time, because the multiverse will immediately vomit a paradox on top of your head just to spite you.
3) Killing off a character and killing off a character are not the same thing, and neither is particularly binding.
4) When life gives you lemons, go back in time and sell them to life in the first place.
5) Fetch modii are miserable to work with. Except the Wallet Modus, that thing is awesome.
6) Do not, under any circumstances, eat the mind honey.
7) The characters you want to hug most will get killed off first. Deal with it.
8) IF YOU giive iit T1M3, YOU Can Learn t0 read aLl Of :33 Pesterlog writing] gimmicks. evven tHE REALLY annoy8ng on8s. MOR--E WORDS!
9) Stairs. They do, in fact, hapen.
Untitled Calvin's Quest follow-up
I'm keeping this project deep under wraps until Calvin's Quest is finished, in case I decide not to actually use it. It takes place after Calvin's Quest, and is part of a bigger plan I currently have.
Freeman Across the Universe
Based on the web series "Freeman's Mind"; further details will be posted later.
Question of the week: What's the deal with airline food?