The Lord Of The Words
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Joined 09-21-02, id: 271214, Profile Updated: 05-10-12
Author has written 10 stories for Baldur's Gate, Sherlock Holmes, Teen Titans, Dungeons and Dragons, Legend of Zelda, Final Fantasy VII, StarCraft, and Icewind Dale.

And a good YoHo to you people! I'll keep my real name under lock and key, because I'm a nutty paranoid freak. Wha ha ha! But you, yes you...the one reading this...may call me Horse. It's my nickname, and honestly, I and everyone I know uses it more than my real name anyway. Heh.

Actually, I've decided to update my profile, as I like to keep myself updated, and I've felt I've let thing go for far too long. So, let me start things out. I've been on FanFic for quite a while now, as I have this annoying habit to come up with all sorts of new and improved story ideas, and I feel more than slightly compelled to jot them down. And if I can share them with y'all, then it makes it better. Actually, I write these stories to quell my own insatiable desire to write, as if I did not, my head would begin to mutate into an even more grotesque form. And as of right now, my head is ugly enough, thank you. An explosion complete with brain matter would promptly follow.

Secondly, as I've said before many times, I write these stories to entertain my fellow readers and what few fans I have. Like I say, it's all for you guys baby!

I'll actually be adding some new stories to my already impressive list quite soon, if I can ever dislodge my head from my ass long enough to do it. I won't say what they are, I like keeping my fans guessing, but hopefully they'll be some of my better stories, the sort that don't bore the crap out of someone. Those aren't very good. It may take a little time for me to perfect them enough before I post them, so just keep a leery eye out. They'll pop up eventually, as soon as I have enough to keep a person occupied.

Now, I'll address something that I am personally sickened and ashamed of. But regardless of my distaste for it, here it is. Yes, I am fully aware that in the recent months I almost literally dropped off the face of the Earth, and have only been in the slightest of contact with my fellows. But as this update to my profile might suggest, I'm back, and better than ever. The old "new and improved" thing. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. I've been working my fingers to the bone, and then working the bone to even less bone, not to mention thinking up new and tantalizing new ideas to tickle my readers proverbial thought pallet. Sorry if that sounds a bit weird, I'm still working all the kinks out of my writing style. It's been far too long...

Of course, in my own defense, I have a reason for that. Well, two reasons. First, I was sort of in a funk for a while, and I just didn't feel motivated to type anything. I could have, that's true enough, but if I'm not feeling it, feeling the stories ripping through my brain, than when I type it'll be shallow, pallid, and jaded. It just wouldn't have the same impact any longer. And I won't do that, not to myself, and certainly not to you guys. Nope, that ain't happening. So, I've been patient, as the urge to write will come back in due course, a burning passion that I can hold back no longer. It has before. And I'm happy to report that it's broken free of my mental harnesses, and now, there's no stopping it.

And the other reason, also quite valid I'm certain you'll agree, was more in the department of technical problems. I have many talents, writing being one of them, as I'm sure all of you will agree, but computer tech is not one of my most predominant of skills. When my computer breaks, I have little idea how to fix it. Some people are good with cars, able to fix the motors and change oil and air filters, others know computers, pulling its circuits out and replacing this and that. Personally, I'm good at fixing toilets...a rather unsavory job I'll say, and leave that subject there. But I can't fix my computer when it goes bye-bye. And unfortunately, I am a jinx when it comes to computers, as I have a irritating tendency to break the damn things just by looking at them. And on this, I shit you not. I've seriously killed a computer just by looking at it. Granted, it only happened once, but it happened nonetheless. Coincidence? I think NOT!

Anywho, I get viruses, spyware, all that garbage piles into my computer to have a huge party, and since I'm not schooled on how to remove them, my computer goes up the river and sinks. So, I've had to wait a while to get proper technical support, which I just recently received, and now I'm back on the fast track to Now-Town. Or...something...It's only a matter of time before it dies again, but I'll worry about that when it happens, though I'm thinking to be on the safe side I'll learn how to type blindfolded so I don't accidentally look at my computer and commit computerscide (And just in case you're wondering, yes, I just made that up; yes, it's not that good of a joke; and yes, I'm aware the I'm a doofus. Deal with it.)

So with all those problems solved, my current stories will be coming back to the forefront, hopefully to the same degree of quality they were previously. As always, I try and make my stories as clear cut as possible, still making the spelling, grammar, and all that nonsense (and yet it isn't nonsense), as correct as I can, though if I make a mistake, then I'm allowed to. They're my works damnit! And again, as I've said before, I'll try and update them when I am able, but as I've also said, I am but one man, with only my lowly mortal powers to rely on, which ain't saying much.

As I've said (which as you may notice is my new favorite phrase), I hate leaving my works unfinished, and it makes me feel dirty and defiled to do so. Therefore, I may be revisiting some of my stuff here that has been left somewhat abandoned. Of course, it's not intentional, it's just, somethings are harder to type than others. Some stories, the chapters come one after another, like drops of acid rain falling within close proximity to a nuclear plant. Other, one must all but forcibly wring the paragraphs and dialogue out of the mind, twisting it like a lightly moistened shred of pygmy hair (a somewhat unnerving experience).

I'd also like to mention that if you read something, and you have an opinion about my writing, feel free to drop me a line. If you want to comment, please do, if you want to point out a mistake on my part, please do, if you want make a friendly criticism, please do. I've no qualms about someone burning my work either, so knock yourselves out if you truly feel it's necessary, though if you do leave derogatory comments, do yourself the decency to leave a reason as to why, else you'll just make yourself sound like a hate-loving weirdo. Other than that, I very much enjoy hearing advice and feedback, it's always good, if you like. And even though pressed for time as I am (I'm already pushing my schedule by being here), if one is kind enough to read and comment on my stories, I generally try and return the favor by reading their stories, even if the material subject is unfamiliar to me. I like reading as much as I like writing.

Bah, I've said enough. No sense in boring you. As I've said, dear friends and readers, my job here is to entertain you with fanciful tales that I concoct to delight and dazzle. This profile was not necessary for you to read to enjoy my awesome stories, but it can't hurt I suppose, just giving you some insight to me. And as a bonus to you die-hard readers, if you've truly read that much of my senseless drivel that I've typed thus far, than you are worthy in my eyes, and feel free to drop by my home (at any hour, as I don't really sleep much these days), and I'll be more than happy to thank you, as well as bake you some cookies. That's right folks, I bake, and personally, I'm damn good at it. You want sweets, you come see Horse.

Anywho, I've think I've bloviated long enough. So, I'll leave you to it, parting ways with a few interesting facts about the super cool guy that is me, and a few of my most favorite of quotes...Sit back, relax, get yourself a drink, and prepare to be wowed by my...stuff. Enjoy y'all!

Real Name: Heh, what did I just get finished typing? Call me Horse people!

Age: Old enough to drink, but not old enough to die...yet...

Gender: Take a wild guess...

Location: U.S.A. (If that's not general enough, then try Tennsesee. If that's not general enough, try the city of New Tazewell. And if that's not general enough, then...I don't know, use a phone-book.)

Personality: Weird, ego-centric somewhat, very insensitive, quiet, eccentric, and with a slight hint of guiltless remorse...Nutty paranoid freak remember? (Wild cackle)

Interests: Reading, Writing (Duh), Sword-Fighting(And for the hundredth time, YES I am serious about this), playing games of all sorts, baking delicious treats for no particular reason, driving long distances for no particular reason, collecting an assortment of music for my listening enjoyment, painting tiny metal figurines for hours on end, and other less legal things...Heh

Musical Preferences: I have unusual taste in music: 80's, some 70's(though not many), music from my favorite video games, movie soundtrack, and a few random favorite artists (Billy Joel, Meatloaf, Elton John, John Williams), plus Classical and Anime music. To put it simply, when I happen to hear a song I like, regardless of what it is, I add it to my collection.

Favorite Television Programs: Samurai Jack (#1 favorite with a bullet), Family Guy, Venture Brothers, Futurama, The Tick (the cartoon version), Death Note, Avatar: Last Airbender, Case Closed.

Favorite Works of Cinema: Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Fight Club, The Shawshank Redemption, The Big Lebowski, How To Train Your Dragon.

Favorite Electronic Stimulation Games: Mass Effect series (My all-time favorite), Dungeons & Dragons, Ace Combat series, Starcraft series, Warcraft series, The Legend of Zelda series, Assassin's Creed series, plus more.

Favorite Characters of Fiction: Samurai Jack, Sephiroth, Solid Snake, L, Vash the Stampede, Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, Garrus Vakerian, Dr. Orpheus.

Interesting Facts: I happen to share my personality with a four hundred pound Buddhist gentleman named Sir Winston Butterbottom. He has a passion for fine wines, is a terribly boring conversationalist, and he has a streak of mischievousness that borders on the near insane. A word of caution: do not provoke him, as though he is a Buddhist and they are know for pacifism, know that I am not, and a favorite hobby of his is to use my hands in less than productive ways. You have been warned...

Favorite Quotes I've Collected And Use At Various Times For No Particular Reason: (Not mine, but favorites of mine)

"Laugh and grow fat."

"Ooo, that's some tough talk coming from a man who wears a basket on his head!"

"You can either apologize, or we can skip right to the part where I break your face."

"I have a shotgun."

"What is this task Oh Knights of...Knights who until recently said NI!"

"You've obviously exceeded your lowborn heritage, and surged to the vanguard of goonery."

"I think it was two ninja's taped together to make one giant ninja!"

"Alright, who wants a taste?"-

"WHO ELSE WANTS SOME!"

"It is with this hand that I begin labeling my waffle! It is with this hand that I finish labeling my waffle!"

"All of life's problems can be solved with force... And if it's not working, then you're not using enough."

"BRING IT ON!"

And my personal favorite...

"Even the most fiendish and meticulously planned scheme can be undone by a good telepath."

Final Thoughts: Everyone in the world is too angry. Do yourself a favor and pick a fight. You'll feel a lot better. (The other person might not, but meh, that's life)

Signed,

The Horse (aka. The Lord of the Words)

Good Hunting everyone...

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Mass Effect Premonition: The End of Dawn by Narcrotic reviews
The Sequel to MED:TEN. Shepard is dead. The team is gone. The Normandy destroyed. As she mourns, Tali returns to the Flotilla to finish her pilgrimage with a crushed heart and broken soul. -A Tali-centric fic that follows her life in detail. -Mature Readers Only. -Tali/Shepard Pairing. -Will follow loosely bound ME2 Format. (Nothing too AU)
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Romance - Chapters: 46 - Words: 150,321 - Reviews: 258 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 134 - Updated: 4/7 - Published: 8/15/2011 - Tali'Zorah, Shepard (M)
Shared Soul by Sings-off-key reviews
BG2 TOB. If Keeta had known the implications of sharing her soul with her fearsome brother Sarevok, would she have dared? PC x Sarevok. Completely revised and finally completed after long hiatus.
Baldur's Gate - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 48 - Words: 169,920 - Reviews: 206 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 12/23/2012 - Published: 2/27/2007 - Complete
Wasteland Perspectives by CalliopeSpeaks88 reviews
A series of drabbles set in the Fallout3 universe. Warning: increase in radiation levels may occur from reading this story. Just kidding or am I? *Wink wink nudge nudge.*
Fallout - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 92 - Words: 68,271 - Reviews: 172 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 1/7/2012 - Published: 9/17/2009 - Lone Wanderer
Being Selfish by Dermiti reviews
This is my first fan fic into the Mass Effect universe. Centering around Tali/Shepard. Exploring their relationship after the events of Mass Effect 2. Rated M
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 57,806 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 161 - Follows: 134 - Updated: 9/21/2011 - Published: 5/10/2011 - Shepard (M), Tali'Zorah
Love of a Spartan by AshleyBudrick reviews
She's just a marine. He's a Spartan. Love has no place in a war, but it forms whether you like it or not, whether it makes you or breaks you. And in this case, it could be lethal. John-117 x OC. Updated & Edited 07/11
Halo - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Romance - Chapters: 49 - Words: 258,582 - Reviews: 680 - Favs: 446 - Follows: 160 - Updated: 7/27/2011 - Published: 10/11/2008 - Complete
To Survive by Calinstel reviews
Escaping the collector base and moving forward. The ongoing story of John Shepard and the fight to survive and also what it means to fall in love with a quarian. T rated after shown the errors of my way :
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 38 - Words: 92,241 - Reviews: 136 - Favs: 345 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 6/8/2010 - Published: 5/30/2010 - Tali'Zorah, Shepard (M) - Complete
Baldur's Gate by Vegetius reviews
Chaos threatens the Sword Coast beyond the walls of the library fortress of Candlekeep, the primary export of war, iron, having grown scarce and brittle. As the lands plunge into the depths of fear and strife, an orphan is suddenly thrust along with them.
Baldur's Gate - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 88 - Words: 447,836 - Reviews: 150 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 7/7/2009 - Published: 5/17/2007 - Complete
Sephiroth! by Sephiroth-Safer reviews
Black materia has been found in the quarry... Where the heck did that come from? Doesn't matter, guess who wants it. SEPHIROTH! Guess who's going to try and stop him. THE TEEN TITANS!
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 12 - Words: 12,490 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 2/1/2008 - Published: 9/12/2006 - Raven, Robin
Tales of the Sword Coast by Track reviews
Darien Kreshire is forced to leave his childhood home on a journey that will take him far and wide... and reveal a few unwanted truths. -Been awhile, things look kinda grim; but the story's been on my mind. We'll see what happens.-
Baldur's Gate - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,758 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/18/2007 - Published: 8/7/2007
Out of this World by Agent of the Divine One reviews
Sometimes destiny needs a helping hand. Other times it needs a swift kick in the pants! And that's just what's coming for our favorite heroes! BBxRae RobxStar CyxBee.
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 32,320 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 7/3/2007 - Published: 5/9/2006 - Beast Boy, Raven - Complete
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The Adventure of a Lifetime reviews
The story of a young man, spending his years in a quiet farming town, finally stepping forth onto the road of adventure. No doubt perils lurk ahead, friends to meet, maidens to rescue, and maybe a world to save? Perhaps all this and more!
Dungeons and Dragons - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 5 - Words: 24,812 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 10/24/2010 - Published: 11/18/2006
Unit 507 reviews
A story of a convict forced to join the Confederacy as a Marine against his will, caught up in the tides of the great battles throughout Starcraft, eventually only trying to survive against enemies of all the races, forming bonds with men and alien alike.
StarCraft - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 82,856 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 10/22/2010 - Published: 6/20/2007
Sword Saint reviews
The telling of unfolding events through the eyes of Gorion's infamous ward, fighting against the 5 strongest Bhaalspawn. Full of fun encounters, vicious battles, and perhaps even love. Heroics and honor live in this telling of a great swordsman.
Baldur's Gate - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 39 - Words: 111,179 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 10/3/2009 - Published: 7/4/2007
Ghost Fighters reviews
A crew of professional exorcists traveling about Icewind Dale come across Easthaven, and are swept up and along in an adventure to discover a nameless evil that plagues the Spine of the World Mountains. Continuing story of the first game, HoW, & Trials.
Icewind Dale - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 37,190 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 3/10/2009 - Published: 9/13/2007
The Guardians reviews
His search continues for strength, Magnus now searches for a legendary swordsman, said to be "the worlds greatest". Can Magnus's training be enough to defeat someone the world knows as the best?
Dungeons and Dragons - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 32,356 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 10/26/2008 - Published: 9/21/2006
The Legend of Zelda: The Great Warrior reviews
Our nameless hero has begun his quest, aiding Link in saving Hyrule from Ganon's evil power. But, its not easy...Can he learn to protect himself from hordes of bizarre monsters quick enough? Can he get Link to actually talk? Big troubles ahead.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 27,227 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 9/28/2007 - Published: 9/22/2006
Nightmares Travel Alone reviews
What do you get when you combine an evil Bhaalspawn, and equally evil dwarf in a tavern, with lots of booze, and a whole lot of enemies coming in the front door ready to hurt them? I think you can guess...
Baldur's Gate - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 9 - Words: 34,191 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 9/17/2007 - Published: 9/21/2006
The Razing reviews
The Titans have encountered a new foe, mighty and quite evil. But this new villain seems too much for them to handle. How do they beat him? What is he? Is he human, or something else entirely? A wicked game, endless terror, what is the meaning of it all?
Teen Titans - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 79,399 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 9/7/2007 - Published: 9/21/2006
Something Wicked reviews
Six months after Advent Children. The world is once again at peace. But still...a lingering feeling remains. Something isn't right, but it's hard to place. The mysterious phone calls are not helping either.
Final Fantasy VII - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Fantasy - Chapters: 7 - Words: 24,842 - Reviews: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/14/2007 - Published: 9/28/2006
The Case of the Murder at Madhouse Manor reviews
A Holmes parody. Six years after the original, I decided to write this one as a follow up. New humor, old humor, a new case, and of course, my two funny characters back to solve another bizarre mystery. How neat! If you liked the first, than take a look.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 12,499 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/8/2007 - Published: 9/21/2006